« Monday Morning Podcast

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-26-17

2017-10-26
Bill rambles about best supporting actors, mountain climbers and silk worms.

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
hey what's goin on his bill bar is time for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast then just checking it on you just check in on you do do i only got one fuckin day before i can go home one more day in the film i still get three more after this but i get to go home and see my little daughter very excited about that and by the way as direct if it's ok for tee what movie this because i never know you know the leak out information he said it was cool so the movies called front runner front right in its stars hugh jackman directed by jason right ok there you go so i'll freckles has a little part in there don't blame you arise you might miss me
but that is what i am working on out here every time i go down to set i'm telling you they show me something that they shot and it looks really really fuckin cool some very excited to be in this movie here but yes i got one day when i got one see today site the first one out of the gate are as good as it gets you norman sometimes you the foreseen in the last seen but do you get to see everybody else act and everything like that and that's cool right the only thing that's bad about being there the entire fuckin day is for whatever reason when you run on a movie said you just eat like a fuckin arena why yearning and acquiring you just sit there go why am i eating right now stand around and all of a sudden they bring around some fuckin
all of these common appears and fuck in holloway cookies studying like europe in the fifth grade literally eating it looking at another dealt whose also eating at do you both at the same time fucker we don't i have actually been pretty good on the suit in foods but awesome so and i did lay off the hollowing cookies and i'm doing my fuckin carry out today being a professional goddammit you guys all know what a freckled booze bag bag i am right you all know i can't lay off the boughs i'm adornments seventy fucking days so they can't day seventy three already be twenty percent of a year already have that i might go a year i might go year i might fuckin both tonight i don't know who knows it's exciting exciting time you think that world series game last night was fuckin riveting
there was that was a joke compared to watch me trying to work by a bar i was on onset last night isolating it i saw it three two one and then we were shooting the final thing and i checked the scorn i saw was three two three as a holy shit the astral came back and we ended up wrapping and it was like five to three houston so i can only go down there we get out of my fucking clothes and all that shit we had back into the regular close dead back to the hotel everything shut down here and me another actor went into the this bar that we saw that was open and try to get something to eat i was like after twelve at that point is gonna slid pickens around the area that we stay and now we walked into the bar and saw tat it was five to five i was a kid gotta be fuckin kid me
maybe with seventy five with seventy five gonna last i saw it was five to three ass rose in the time it took me to get off said jump in the van and head back it became seventy five astro sounds like what the fuck happened a missing one of the greatest world series games probably ever and so we go in there we asked a guy behind the bar right when the guys i guess i'm sorry fell the fuckin i can explain how high this guy's voice was i don't know if he was in the middle of transitioning or whatever i have no idea what it was like it was like michael jackson level high end split the blue and the guy had stubble on his face i dont get it right they look like a giant like marionette puppet
he's gone sorry powers if you weren't you gotta itself fortunately this guy with the high pitched voice told him where to go when i go all the way down the street and like four five blocks down really cool for land i thought you i'm sitting with little fuck it's what should we went down fathers this bar that was still open and we get in there at seventy five and as we walk in the dodgers hit a home run i think to make it seventy six then only down by iran is that you gotta be kidding this is unbelievable and unfortunately the game in the house because i wanted to ask us to tie up somewhat more baseball and want to see i wanna see seven game series here but i wanted the dodgers tighter presides over i you know i wasn't going to bed i was fuckin wired is hoping to get like fifteen shillings a baseball but congratulations to the asterisk
you don't think that get will chippy out their guests are imitating some guy in the dodgers about the blue mohawk i don't know anybody spoken name i guess you flip the bad sticks his tongue out so they like oh yeah we're we're gonna quit the bad we're going to stick our times are these are adult males everybody police should ever but it's better incredible siri so i'm hoping gave three electrically b i'll be home and i can sit down a watch it now watch gave three will suck you don't owe me the pictures do not even a good one every stranded base runners and that's it that's all the fuck i got i don't know what to tell you i'm just been organ like a maniac summon the first seen tonight which is great cause i'm actually going to do little promotion here there's a thirty four thirty coming out
arguably one of the greatest if not the greatest entertainer of all time and wrestler of all time rick flare the rick flare thirty thirty come on out and they haven't a premiere tonight and i'm gonna go to it and i think rick flares gonna be there so i to go a little jim norton here and try to get my picture because i've had a twitter photo upon my word my twitter account since let that was taken in june of twenty fourteen i still remember got to meet him joe music cause fuckin dude ever was telling stories and just an awesome guy so i'm hoping that tonight i can update my photo of cool that be having updated it three years cuz it was a ric flair photo hopefully i can update it again with another one and if i don't who gives a shit i get to watch the writ flare thirty four thirty which everybody should watch
i don't care what's goin on your life i don't care if you wait scholarly then tied together perky patch of agony i gotta say lady this is what i'm not doing the team i want this one i'm gonna watch live backing would the would lie you gotta see this one life and uh hurry hurry wrap up brick flare story in thirty minutes so when it means right thirty stories thirty minutes long they ve already done way more than thirty sedation art sunday that damn marino football life and that was thirty minutes like with commercials or something like that was your day should have at least ninety minutes how much the game is changed and how much the game had to change our attitude dead become borderline illegal
to cover a receiver pass the you know first little two yards chuckle whatever you're allowed to do now all of that had to happen and i felt i had to try to go global and try to get all these fuckin pino half ass fans by by running up the scores all of that had the fuckin happened four damn rhinos record set stood for thirty years to start the fault that's all i'm saying you know that should have been ninety minutes i guess you can't do that because in all the other legendary players would be like google combined with joy journey nine ye since its togo flips too bad and they get off work and upset i did things too you know so anyway i'm looking forward to that on our own that's it other than that i'm going out of my mind
being stoned sober remembering every fucking waking moment of the day every day that i'm sober i'm reminded why i drank you i gotta go to a meeting i gotta hear people talk positively about big sober because i gotta be honest with you i don't fuck and get it and when i fuckin lay off the booze all it does is make me want to try drugs you know i never smoke with i don't smile i'm not into it i just don't i'm not into a but then if i don't drink everyone's in a couple times a month and just like i got a fucking do something to break up the monotony i have such a respect for these straight edge people i don't know how to do it sk i try to tell me what being sober because you know you don't understand is that like you know alcohol kills
i see endorphins i don't know what it is that actually makes you feel good about your life because i don't worry i'm actually i don't need it i don't need a bill i'm like high on life you know and i was just looking at him i was i couldn't help but think you're fulla shit no you're not you know when you're high on life when you were a kid you know and you never throughout your back and your shoulders not fucked up you don't have a psychotic nerve issue you feed don't hurt you just get out of bed your brand new you jump around the fuckin house doing cartwheels and shit runnin around hey let's go in the living room you just get up and run urundi the other romania i on life you don't have any credit card dead right you got a lady in your life going to wish data have a date night right none of that bullshit then he can be high on life then you know what happens you know what happened you become an adult array
now all of a sudden you start understanding why why it is technically you know what i mean if you live and down on the equator you're actually standing sideways ok why you don't go flying off the fucking plan you start to understand its weight the weight of the universe been on this thing that spoken spin it right in all this fuckin dead you're fuckin accumulate that's all down on you in the holidays common up right at the holidays fun anymore do you get to the christmas spirit the way you gotta stop going around in fact could see in everybody and get not a fucking plain watch some douche bag after they just said only one thing per person in the overhead compartment stick three fuckin bags up there in honor me
and that's when the stories comes by and she just costs can i get you something could you like something to drink it's like a lady you know those little bottles of both you have how many of you think you could carry in both your arms why don't you stuff a few and you're fuckin brazil rovers and bring em over here so i can get to this goddamn flight right or maybe you know maybe you still enjoy that time a year it's that time of year where you could say i was singing a christmas song when i was doing the fuckin was at head for beer commercial head of the mountains they taste is smooth then its bush beer bush bureau of other the balls to do a commercial now as if their beer tastes good everybody knows that bush beers for that's what that's like when you hung over you want back in the game that's a girl could be mick
when fucking slit your fuckin eyelids role swollen up from the boat the night before that's what that bears bush beer and all those fuckin beer cores light bush bush light all of those fuckin beers or when used you drank so hard the night before and you just don't have anyone not to drink the next day and you need to get back in the game it's the cortisone shot of alcohol that's what it is stupid fuck and commercials with a guy standing next to a goddamn river what was that all about so let me know how watered down that fuckin canna pieces then i'm gonna be drinking but god bless you could still gets me fucked up place twenty therapy and on what is i think i just need to get up so any wish
i'm going out of my mind you unless them down on the set from just fuckin hanging out and it keeps saying i keep threatening to myself than we had gone out of the college football hall of fame but i don't think i'm gonna make it again today is going to get the fuck outta lip the goal burn or fall of food aid yesterday i do better i ate a fish yesterday i gotta tell you the catering on this movie has been out fucking stand expend delicious i don't know what what carries gone to another level since i started doing my my three lines per movie acting career you know why don't they have awards for that for people like me and movies they they are best supporting actor but you mean you still gotta be like a major part of the movie what it what about people like me where's my award you know my ward just an award show
they should do that just have it on youtube and they just tat right you have that house nobody's heart of a bunch of actors you can't fucking name you know and then you let people vote you know two lines in a movie twenty seventy i don't know whatever would you get when it's like made out of chocolate or something to eat it or something i don't know what it is maybe it's a little it's a shot of the flask i do not pretend to understand these fuckin thanks anyway guess what i'm doing next week everybody other than see my beautiful family spinning every fuckin second with them is i'm gonna be playing the surf baldwin ball i'm sorry in iowa and this is where you know buddy holly the big bopper enriching balance all did their last shelf too little fucking morbid you know but i want to go there i want to see it right
and apply right into the same airport that they took off from an crashed and everybody is beyond doubt what the fuck the day had ice on their wings that's what happened that's why they crash there in an experienced pilot and they had ice in the wings and they didn't have the they didn't have the technology back then the spray the chemicals i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that i'm gonna be all right so anyway someone be doing that ah thursday of next week and then friday saturday i'm in one of my favorite god damn cities in the world milwaukee was constant aright and i d d always gonna be doing the thursday one and then i got version bardic no walkie percy bart nick and myself in one of my favorite cities ever i have to somehow try to maintain the sober i'm gonna do it
do it but i'm not much for commander i could go i get seventy days in a right you know what notice is i know when i have that next strength and i'm just gonna be on again for another for ten years to hold them what i can do is ominous what i'm gonna do when i come back when i return after this injury right make my return to the big leagues of booze i would like to focus on i would like to boost the aware smoke cigars now because i got that under control like i smoke like a cigar like once every fuckin three weeks or something like that that's all right right twelve fifteen a year so full of shit i've smoke more than that this year but whatever i at least i make an attempt ok the third base coach what with the cigars is holding people up right that fuckin lunatic
the boughs is just wavin me around every time i gotta be answered you haven't kids a great way to fight not drink i mean i can't just sit there getting drunk the kid in the house and plus even if you do like a moron the next morning you kids going to wake up like seven in the morning and i don't give a fuck about a hang over so i guess it's just one upon the road i don't know what it is or maybe just like those of you know it's all of that shit i really enjoyed i miss it you know i think a sober dial my fucking my booze itself anyway so i'm gonna be doing that and then i go up to green bay
and then that monday night bump bump bobo dodo green bay as monday night football game that i was going to go to with further and bark nick i came sam fortunate i gotta get back to do my last three days on the movie and so i can't make that one but jesus christ if you're not going to go to lambeau field it's a pretty good excuse right cuz you going to be in a great fucking movie starring hugh jackman called front runner they'll be coming out in twenty eighteen please tell all your friends please go to the movie theaters to go see it nor of the schedule chains maybe i'll get to go but i think version barnegat still gonna go and that's other than that i don't think the anything left to tell you other than my shoulders completely fucked up again i turned the corner with my rotate a cup and went too far first because i did deep so i tried to do a pull up those fuckin assist bans things
you know i tried to do i just pushed too far and then i go start all over again it's fuckin frustrated by voting on them do i know the two years signal of last year and i get my fuckin shoulder but fortunately have been eaten like a lady some stand in shaping our indo china everybody would do in the retail indo china fuck the reach you know somebody was read this thing about this couple that mountain climbs and they are trying to climb one of the more difficult ones where you literally walking in the jet stream it was was blowing so bad they couldn't sleep at night course one of these fuckin morons gets lifted up in the air by the wind slam down between two rocks
her foot gets stuck in between the rocks and then the wind is blowing so hard it twists her body around and she breaks or fuckin leg now the other two fucking jerk off who were also completely safe before they decided out of pocket blew out of nowhere to put their lives at risk right with absolutely no respect for anybody else in the world who gets tortured who lives in these horrible fuckin war torn conditions you don't need all they want to do it just be able to come home would be safe these two fuckin free morons the side that they gonna go up there were deliberately put their lives at risk and now the other two assholes have to carry this lady down with their spiral fracture taking turns while walking into the jet stream and i don't know what i'm supposed to be doing during this when i'm reading this my supposed to be thinking why what incredible human beings i don't i just think what a couple of fuckin morons
because then some poor bastard as to fly helicopter up there and try to meet him and risk his fuckin life some i just i don't know i don't know how people in the coastguard doing i don't around these people in like helicopters around the fuckin world their job what what is your job sir what is your job and we are what is my job i rescue fuckin more rights you have only the fire department has led to a certain extent somebody sit near smoking cigarette cigarettes a pop tartan bed not offer any lights is fuckin bet on fire right then they gotta go in there go get the guy's he's hiding in the closet you know the frost and still around his lips that starting to melt they have to go in there they gonna go get the gun
i didn t want to talk about fuckin here had it how do they do that you have to go riskier life to save a fuckin moron is there making the call gay with my wife broker leg yet where are you where's your house out now we climbed up a mountain the fuck did you do that for oh god i would love to take those calls what the fuck did you do that for great crane so now let me guess now you want us to go up there and go get your you fuckin moron you know we should leave you up there right you know you deserve that right you understand the person flying up there in the helicopter isn't it is expecting it to become a father and another month
and he might not make it because you fuck any idiots left a perfectly good hotel room and decided to climb up there so what you could talk loudly about it in a bar with your frostbitten cheeks dumb can't tell you walk another thousand feet down the fuckin mountain i'll check the forecast maybe i'll pick you up in a week i guess you gotta be cut up for that matter in gino talk about how every man looks better in a suit you know every day i'm checking out guys work and by you know you know like a nice george michael stubble i'm not to right but i
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here is my my mindless music i listen to feel it still feel it still from portugal the man like a book the bio like a blackboard at the bag a bow emma atta left field cannot gaga google that gets me for it gives me through the first five minutes and then i listen to mark runs and uptown funk this is the same song they save some day right every summer right bobo but do i listened to that shit right slightly embarrassed but i listened to it and then i listen to the honey drapers rocket at midnight
and then i just have a bunch of tom petty and this isn't mindless music but i'm kind of stop and listen to that kind of switch off then i've listened at three mindless songs in a row and i love tom petty body just died so makes me sad so i just saw primus so after those three mindless songs i then go into our current awesome music music that i really like ellison primus or mars volta my new favorite band fucking dope found out about i'm fuckin fifteen years after they were together so stupid so anyway and that's what i have to go deuce everybody you guys want to share with me your little cardio fuck endless i need you i need i need another three fucking songs as mindless is those first three that i just sent to you this silly they're happy
next thing you know i look down and all i can do i get half hour in order me i really do a half hour because these needs have the last me a lifetime airy i'm done with this bullshit biscuit be little music here and you probably not going to know what the music is and i'm not going to know what it is either because andrew families veto he goes deeper goes deep into the music world so if you have any questions just ask what song it is on our twitter up at the m m podcast all right and ask andrew in a very polite respectful way what the song is i'm sure he'll get back to you are right and then we'll play after that they'll be another half hour this part guess a classic half hour of of classic clips from a thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast
there are around maybe from earlier this year maybe from three years ago i have no idea you might even listening we talk about how much fun i had both in the night before you know that's it i have a great we can you counts and i'll talk to you on monday and it was i get them into the biggest dumbest fuck and fight last night with my girl right where this great day you know
everything's going great so i stay in i take night off from comedy i say why don't we watch what are we watch a movie you no enemy cap off this wonderful falcon day everything's gonna great what could go wrong this is like the beginning of a horror movie they just show like the perfect family maybe these great and people are weighing like white linen yeah then suddenly just start showing the cameroon the bushes like appeal veal mike myers does this basic what happened so sixty its comes on right who doesn't want to watch tat shone pretender smart yeah i like it's more than merely safer comes on we smells like an old person some people those i like all people but he looks like he smells like an old person you know sales of cigars ashtrays you know a couple of wars maybe a date rape
so he's interviewing merrill streep right the great man austria and they're going through all or of world friggin life and all the movies and all the different characters that she's played up first of all they start they start the report off with morally safer just sit there right to smell in a fucking ben gay and whisky right he says how you know how over in england you know they do you know i don't they there there actors deal with award them by calling them lords and they night them but over here in amerika we do we just give him the shiny statue and dislike socks off right the bad for some reason to shit on america i don't know why i like it oscar is somehow beneath
sir anthony michael hall i mean or or lord when lord of what what which you can fuck and hold our statue your lord of what kingdom there only horse shit that you have with prince charles them the popper or whatever the fuck is going on over there you know look at the rothschilds night you over there then that fuckin mean something then you can come become part of their yacht convoys they go around the world figures how to take over another currency right then you're in with them ok but if your fuckin you know lord of this and your your wing man is the duke of elton john i mean it's a whole thing is fuckin stupid right so right after it's already bugging me but i know near hates when i talked to the tv right so you know i keep my big fuckin yap shut they start talking about marrow strip up the back onto the whole thing and then on the
guy there smelling yvonne you know prescription meds goes i you know whenever they talk about the rolls you play they always say unity play independent minded women very strong women oh goes i know that's yeah that's what they say you know what a guy they never say to a guy oh you're playing a strong willed character yadda yadda yadda i let tat go whatever no biggie i'll take that probably true the factory i'm not a woman right but there they show her after she played margaret thatcher she's given a speech bunch of women's younger she's trying to inspire them and she she takes a quote from with that sharon was something along the lines of if you want a bunch of people to talk around talk is stand around talk about doing something you know the goal here you gotta talk to man but you
wanted to actually get done you gotta get a woman and then all the chicks go we're like flippin outright so i laugh about my gay reverse sexism right to seeing you know my my whole fucking theory how everybody is just a piece of shit you just don't have the power to act out what the fuck you wanna do does that that right there if you flip that around is a guy if you're running for president it's fucking over you can't be lack lemme tell you not tell you what after i get jobs laughter fix this economy okay and i'm the man to do because i'll tell you right now if you're looking someone who stand around who talk about doing some you get what you want to get done you gotta give a man here am i not right here on the podium vote for me november fourth go fuck yourself right you did that your presidential campaign so does it it's fucking adorable and its justice
an ignorant yet i mean what the fuck do you get off saying that we stand around do nothing merrill streep quoting margaret engineer to margaret thatcher me tasty bitches something we face a fuckin lunar landing ok you think that's just talking anybody can land on the fuckin moon that's easy but to pretend you did it around and get everybody to shut the fuck up about it that that that that right delta take skill so what i'm so i make that little comment and dogs voted that that that assembly fucking porky pig so so am i a comment and like you know i've been with me along enough that i can tell by the sight of her face when she's just thinking about like what if i just grabbed everything i really cared about and walked out of this house right now she got like fuck him mad at me you know am i issue just like
wrap this story was over she just shut the fuck up thing off dad we have an example walk into seven eleven to get some ice cream i haven't ignoring what happened was all gone great you're not maybe asshole there what what am i am i spoke to just fuckin sit there with my mom hang in open withdrawal come out when i watch tv somebody says some do she i'm not supposed to say it whatever but i was so i just find you said you know what fuck this i take the dog out a go around the block what do i do i call on my guy friends right there back me up i'm not saying who i called i don't name names i while laugh and harass off and there percent agree with me which is all i'm looking for at this point i just want people to say that i'm right i don't learn think from this experience tell me i was right could be an ignorant ass again
what did you guys way and on that of my dick for saying that should i just let that one go you know you know what she said that for controlling the wall she goes why are you shouldn't say intimidated she's one of those words you threatened by watching look i'm not threatened i of course than i debate you don't just sends me right over like threatened about what oh my this person that i dont know who has never called me nor will ever call me who has no effect on my life how do you get threatened by the i'm just call it for the bullshit because you know what this is what fucking drives me nuts i can't stand when somebody tells me that this shit sandwich tastes worse than my shit sandwich ok go fuck yourself
at what point am i supposed to have empathy is i'm sitting here eaten a shit sandwich and you're telling me how much worse yours yours is you know at the end of the second day you don't mean sure my might beyond deal you know better slice of bread which i guess would make a taste a little bit better by the end of the fuckin day right the ended fucking day all right i'm gonna end up in a famous camp with you can't you think women spoken sir go comes along i'm gonna make the cut what the fuck the white but what do i bring the world exactly we stand a right next year to go fuck yourself what good woman every time she sneezes they give her another goddamn award she still budget still for in britain you know retirement when i did this oscar nominated part go fuck yourself with your wigs they'll think just you know that's what for
pisses me off when i watch this shit if you really want to know my perspective is from where i come from i can't bitch about shit zombies i'll go fuck yourself he had the lottery right but i gotta sit here and listen to you bitch even if your fuckin kill in it even if you kill in it you know yield school a drama then he stood on the ball go fuck yourself would you goddamn yachts aren't they again that's good it's probably ignorant dental assisted billion
i recently watched a talk show appearance you posted on your twitter you mention did the the willy hunter shop and i think that that's what i posted one that fucking twice that i'd like to choke to death with a garden house sent me that we usually hunter showed you said you mentioned you are a dental assistant for your father did you ever considerably coming a dentist did you have did your father ever conditions for you to become anything in particular now my dad my parents were great like date they want you did based they didn't force anything on you it was like whatever you wanted to do they dave supported it one hundred percent and i remember being working with my dad in the dental office when i told him that i was gonna become a comedian wherein like the breakers
and i remember i was sitting there like going like how this guy gonna take this when he has a classic like stable job here you know that i'm gonna tell him that i'm gonna fuckin basically make living try to make a living doing exactly what he's been yelling at me for for the last fuckin twenty years of my life which was fuckin off actin like an idiot and screwing around all this shit that you know when he would give me cry a town climb will you be given me shit which i totally dessert because if you ever saw the grades in school i mean they day they are they are horrific fucking horrific the high water mark for me was like a sea minus or sea like i was it was brutal
it had to go to summer school every fucking your high school except my sophomore year does my matthew hook me up in my senior year i should have gone i just didn't give a fuck was like what's the point you know i mean that's like you got that with ten seconds left annuity gonna do you just fucking you know you down by thirty dad straw behalf courtyard that are going who gives a fuck it doesn't matter you know so now i mean for half a second you know you know what i did like idols the yeah i like the pouring up models when i was in now when i was in the devil office that was my favorite thing i was in the back i was isolated i wasn't around anybody in attempting to that little kid thing a plane in mud and he used to pour the models and they had this vibrate and think and you had a tap on it to make sure you got all the bubbles out i prided myself
are not being able to note of of having it without no having no but you ve got bubbles if there was bubbles on the bottom basic you know this that pink shit your mouth they gotta take up an impression of your teeth then some take that eu miles go into the back room and then you you got up mixes power would water up in a little green rubber balls jesus is i'll come back to me and then you put it into the fuckin rushing you took and then there was this this thing that sounded exactly like your cell phone vibrating on a table any just you just tap on that to get all the air bubbles out of it didn't do enough after one of the things said and he took it out the bubbles right the bottom that's where the teeth were the most crucial thing the exact fuckin thing that trying to get a gauge on so there you know whatever the hell they were trying to do make a bridge or something the whole thing would be fucked
and then you couldn't go then report the model into that same mould because somehow like it had shrunk up a little it wouldn't be accurate and my dad used to flip off he would he would take him off and billy crisis air bubbles in their eyes you know and it was beyond your boss yelling at you i was also my dad so i already had you know i was going through my fuckin teenage early twenties when you're bearing the most against if i already had the live with the guy then i was working with them was fuckin hilarious unease give me shit like i was a kid we really have we actually talked about how we had the tone that shit down because it didn't come off his professional inferno so whatever butter but that was a part i thought i ever got into dentistry that i would i would i would
work in the lab i like that part of it like you and not just porn up the models like the actual another was a precision to with that i like i didn't like the four i didn't like d the frontline shit go in the mouth with all that crap and local people's fuckin horrific teeth this horrible fuckin teeth all my jokes were about that shit when i first started i told you guys that story right i used to work totally clean when i first started stand up not because i wanted to be this comedy purist i just was afraid of offending somebody in the crowd getting heckled not having a comeback lou
in my place in my act and then bombing horrifically an end just having my career and total fear catastrophe rising like way of looking at it and down yet oh jesus christ i really just fuckin brought me back outstanding stated state stitches fuckin summary heckled me was at the vault in boston somehow come here a completely lost my fuckin train of thought and i had nothing at all and it took me basically three seconds to turn to read to remember what the fuck i was talking about and down it was the longest three seconds of my life and know enough to just say to the crowd like what the fuck are they talking about cause they'll tell you they'll remember did not nervous there listening that you're not having like this outer body experience but anyways i remember people would come into the dental office in the teeth of your speeches just with absolute
and mess and they show right now i come to the dentist in psychiatric i can smell it you don't have to smile i can tell you dont like coming down to showing like fuckin brushing your teeth what does one guy said this when i first jokes i that's all that's right so i will work totally fucking clean and then my last at my indeed just you know what i look like a ye young ron howard i looked like richie cunningham and i totally clean and i was clever and i are these perfectly show monologue jokes than ever was gone i gotta do you gonna do the tonight show this is gonna be perfect than blah blah blah blah and then the last ok my act i quoted this patient who keep having to get fillings route thousand even any said talking i understand what's going on i mean i brush my teeth almost every day and then my snappy come back to that
thought of that later became the last yoko my act i said really deal wipe your ass almost every time you take a shit and that's what i would close with after working totally clean i would say that disgusting why do you wipe your ass almost every time take a ship having everybody in the crowd after looking at this fuck norman rockwell come to life fuckin character wholesome is hell right and i really was backed it as opposed to the poor the ship that i am now the twenty years on the road that i became can i literally they had to conjure up pictures of somebody skipping wiping there ass and just that hold and they would just literally recoil then i would just like it or not you're not everybody you a great alarm
i had another horrible one that i did were i actually brought a prop on stage and if you'd like to see that i tell the story on the willy hunters show and willie's end up becoming comic at the calm restore and he's the go through the whole hoop took the hulu from their girl in fucking through into the street
i tell the story to if you want to see that ship check out his shop was gone i spoke on the monday morning podcast for monday october twenty sixth two thousand and nine holy shit following its come up i haven't even bought a pumpkin yet what the fuck is that all about i welcome this not pumpkins the whole time of the year all those things seasonal yet
like tomatoes evidently tomatoes or seasonal we don't realize that which is why they tastes like shit ninety percent of the year or into jimmy door they pick em before their even ripe and they just painted red does that i mean how long would it take to sit there with that little fuckin creole a wooden they too like wax the deal whoop umpteenth you can get one can play the whole euro but you know that i'll go out of my fuckin my people my voices killing me i have something to do here and fuckin forty it can be a quick podcast and this time actually mean it because it's going cost me money if i don't get off the phone here and forty minutes what starts when are we just what the hell's bugging me i ain't got no fistfight yesterday and i
why's that i'm at the awful age of basically any time there's gonna be a fistfight i have these two options a i lose and get the shit out of me which rule you know there's no end to that she kicked out you could beach got a black eye i lost a too for you know or it could be i'm in a coma and you know the left side of my body doesnt work anymore you don't owe me you never know could you never know what you fucker with right so that's option a an option b is i win and then i at the shit sudatta me ok i'm so fuckin still pissed about this i have to give you the abbreviated version of this because it's it's been eating me up inside i was waits my girlfriend come out of this diner it's one of these places there's only one way and one way out right so there's a parking lot part spot way down which is act
closer to the fuckin diner in this douche bag is sitting there cause he seized my reversed lights on some way of an atom to tell him to go by me so i can just back the fuckin lot any just sitting there saying that he would do its fine i pull out real facets gravel partner slam on the bridge slide backwards and then fly ford slam on the brakes pulse and obviously knows a person i back up i put the go down like do does a fuckin spot right up there and then he immediately goes you so tough with your hybrid and really caught me off guard meant it got me with a great many well with the hybrid my dick is get than yours cause he's driving a fuckin lime green ford or sudan that looked like he barred from his fuckin aunt right i'll disguise does this fucking noticed guy look like members coming of age movies in the eighties where there was the good look and check that it wanted and she was dating this impossible asshole like dead blonde a douche from my back school who gets
intimidated in the end and fix a leg injury after fuckin a nine year old broadly dangerfield does a triple trouble lindy that's what this kid look like her he's gonna fuckin lab where and how would you fuckin tight shirt your big knows go fuck yourself and east guy in any goes out go back to jersey you piece of shit that's what he said to me right now a girl like don't i'm not from new jersey but my girl jumped in said some fuckin you know civilian would say rather than a comedian so actually started losing the argument a little bits of any turns around and then i was just like way you're going where you go and get our like like i was actually gonna fight him because i was so fuckin mad i but i am back and i had the whole fucking time uptake you'd like to what are you gonna do what what what are you gonna do to this guy what was it last time you had a fight your fuckin forty one you're year older than brett farm what are you gonna do it's not even on level ground it's in a gravel fuckin parking lot you know what i mean
no i couldn't i swear to god i know i got a fucking kill this guy but i what can't do it i am i want it that i already knew not what happened i would a fuckin started fight them even if i started winning his girlfriend what a jumped on my back then if you do any sort of get off my back with the woman i'm going to jail you know i just it was this fuckin stalemate there was nothing like a fuckin do and then i'm driving home and ireland get about is how much i wanna fuck and kill this guy and it got to the point i literally dropped my girl off and i drove back to the diner fuckin car were still there and i'm circling the diner in a hybrid waiting for this guy to come out thinking about what i'm gonna do to him and then also reminding myself that i have not had a fight in about twenty five years and then also remind myself legally the
i'm affiliations for leaving and then fuckin coming back i am in no danger whatsoever and i'm gonna get living shit sudatta me so far generally a friend of mine happened to call up an ice to tell the story and she was laughin or ass off and shit the story of solve some girl didn't hold the door you knows what was really heavy doors and sort of any sort of slam back in her face and she said thank you you know sarcastically tour and then the i'll go see what i have to hold the door for you go fuck yourself and how she just wanted to say temple in through the back of this fuckin chicks back i guess argument so fuckin man can even say simple anatomy so i just sheikh etc i was able to just kind of talk myself out of the real thing was i didn't want to go back and fight the guy i really didn't you know i mean i really didn't i did but i didn't
there was just know when it was gonna do you know i get meetings this week i went to sharpen the loose tooth and fuck you know nobody bleed like a redhead you don't owe me i'm gonna look like fuckin rick fly walk in there they are nothing i could do i just sit there and and i think i actually lost the back and forth verbal third you know i'm so fuckin shot from being on the road i just got off a flight i to go straight home my girls like i'm hungry sunday you know and i made a until now to be extra nice to me just because i've been us an asshole lately euro which is probably i got into the argument to begin with but its it was i literally the desert there's a fuckin reservoir or a lake whatever
fuck you call it near where i live this is how mad i was after my friend talk me out of not doing what i didn't want to do to begin with right not to mention the already had another guy with them i what a lost i would a fuckin lost right so i had to go drive to the lake park my car and walk around the lake in the first night eighty per cent of the walk around it i was fantasizing about all the different ways that was gonna murder this guy i one where i was body slamming him onto his own fuckin car screaming some shit about hybrids completely like i haven't been that mad and so fuckin long was it till the last ten percent euro i was gonna go and like you know you really took this walk to try to forget about
this shit so what what is wrong with you you need to calm down so i started a fuckin calm down and then i saw my car again and reminded me i was driving a hybrid and fuckin piss me off again because we think the goddamn corvette just seen this car wasn't lime green was actually kind of a nice green ok if i can actually extend an olive branch to this fuckin cunt but let me was that there was a ford or sudan you know there's no queues at his age and i was again it's twenties there was no fuckin excuse for him to be driving a car or certainly talk and shit right and also i love that i'll go back to jersey you piece of shit and like how he's the typical ella guy you know judging ego you are what you drive out here cause i'm a hybrid therefore i dont know how to fight in what you you know mike my car roads a hundred percent or gas fuck it bruce lee odd yet oh what are you gonna rickshaw so
so the last ten percent i started taught myself down it just so happens there was open house out here and that happens to be a zillion house available out here because the state is bankrupt and we live in a city without a water supply and is still one a million dollars for a house that is about the size of a decent one bedroom apartment so i had stances alot open house so i actually said actually went in the open house and looked at it and was thinking the entire time tat if i had gotten out of the car and thrown the first punch even if i won the fight whatever down payment i would have had to actually get a fucking house which is something i'd like to do at some point my life i would have been out the fuckin window and as much as a calm down today is still hasn't made me feel any better does this does this should be like some sort of jet
when's agreement of i'm not going to sue you and my friends are gonna jump in a maybe even go down to the jemmy just put the gloves on sea just get it out to you because i gotta admit it's still fuckin in me and i've been the use how much of a cunt it's made me and i'm trying to get i'm trying to get rid of this this this little ball of hate that is in me when i was i looked at the one house right and i and i felt better and i'm like i still need to look at another house because you know i'm going to still in a bad mood and down i was driving up the street is i'm driving up the street is white ladys like waving her hands like telling me to stay she's got no uniform no uniform on or nothing so i kind of i'm deliberately driving passed her a little bit before slowed down i'm a fuckin control freak and i like people tell me what to do so she comes out when you wanna go what and she's like
tree fell on the road around the corner i just didn't want you to hit it now just like my god i'm the biggest ass a lover oh yeah you dont if i'm going to be honest with myself the whole fuckin reason i had that fight with that guy is because i'm in a grumpy because the last seven at last eight weeks i've been on the road i right there are right i admit my fuckin part of it that you could see whether i was just stand there that fuckin shark fin of a nose noses his coming out from those awful sunglasses that's gonna hurt me for another couple days but thank god i am a little bit older i actually know how my brain i tell you this will be an older as is known how your brain works ok cause what is gone so now the delicious walk around hate this fuckin guy so what i have to do is every time i think that i just i just fuck it there is something else
and i ve been able to do it in my apartment born i get my car it's like a vietnam fuckin flashback so i'm just gonna give me self a week to get over it and and that's alright there's a story for you took a nice twelve minutes my fuckin voices killing me you i she bought a book on how to fuck unusual voice properly on stage i should really read it i do drink that throw coat fuckin tee with honey now that's how old i am but i really should be doing is giving my voice arrest and shutting the fuck up rather than yelling about some dude who doesn't even matter my fuckin life let's get out with pocket so this is the multimodal podcast everybody if your new to this you probably in some sort of way what mindset you would be in its own fuckin see
france drying out my throat that's what's goin on there's something really intimidating about a ceiling for the ever know think that has just gonna come flying off the fuckin ceiling and decapitate you son real i would just stays there our pumpkin seasonal i don't even get back to the i gotta get you know you don't happen last year's carved up a couple of them but i carved em up too early they started a dry out and the thing that i carved in there is scary looking face card a wholesale await an up and the background you know me a carved out like a big circle three chords the way and then on the bottom aicok to head into the bottom part of the circle so then the candle was behind it fucking lift this thing up and look what was awesome but the way of the face concerning wasn't connected to any other part of the pumpkinhead started to fall into the hall is it d hydro
and it really was a scary come holloway was just kind of sad it looked like a defeated demon like he's looking up air like god what do i have to do to scare people so anyways i just came back from the dc improv everybody and our thank everybody in washington dc in the surrounding area of baltimore richmond richmond virginia georgia wherever the hell you came from west virginia judgment thank all you guys for coming out that was degree his turn out i have ever had twenty stand up we can have ever had actually had to add a show people i did i can show on a thursday night and it's sold out six sold out shows in three days and had time in my life aided this restaurant posh got hooked up there by chef crew
spock undue brought us out all his food wanna thank him out greater do you not also did i actually we got a football to launch fuckin story this is peter pan lifestyle i'm living which really gives me no excuse to get mad some guy in a green ford or sudan in the parking lot of a goddamn diner right i play football on a friday afternoon around too in the afternoon like i was still in like the fifth grade you know that you fit grave you moron for blowing off my homework or whatever you know adapt and have sprain in my finger cause of poverty community in europe that formula we ve so fuckin hilarious like typical you know he's still alive the guy but you're not forty want soft stretching doing all this shit was sitting there line to ourselves though we could still play there was a great past would you have me right and stride get me stride he's getting old
i did that has hit the forty one year old and stride like the defensive back couldn't catch up if i can run the thing back for sixty other way but the man i was site is really impressed with how fast i can still run i tell you why because i've kept myself in shape and i stretch on regular basis for you guys out day as you get an older you have a look at the guy's and you like you just look at him and you get to an age at some point where you can't fucking run anymore and it blows your mind when you young like why can't you run anymore you just send that brain signal to your legs to run and to promise because it hurts i mean look this is part of it is yeah you walked on your legs you faintly use your body weren t forty years but i swear to god it seems like eighty percent of it is not stretching if you don't stop she get atrophy and your muscle shrivel up and that's
you literally somebody throws your balance a little louder your reach and you go to reach for it and all of a sudden you fucked you kidney why were you fuckin shoulder blade is kenny attached it's a fucking knows you're not trying to say from muscles and tenants to organs i'm telling you i i have this power yoga tape that i've been doing forever for ever my friends have been tease and we do that's gay would you do yoga for we try to suck your own dick right all those ox continue to eat and they didn't stretch and i was never fast i could always catch always had great hand coordination i fucking catch anything i don't give a shit what it is my firm is that there's just gonna be somebody in front may because i was never fast so this is hilarious i was never fast ok but i kept my
often shape and about seven or eight years ago when i was in my early thirties i was playing pick up football and we ve been playing for about twenty minutes for the first time in my life somebody the opposing team actually set they said hey watch out for bird fast burst out laughing because i was thinking of what a statement what that was to the horrific tat they were it because i was small when i should have been fast i ran a thirty year old when i was seventeen so thirty three i gotta be run in like i'm forty five you know so many ways we had a great time and italian order i realise when i was doin that football around this is one of the sad things about being an adult and getting responsibility and not being able to have a fight because you could get sued is this a lot of other fun things that you just stop doing like throwing a football
do you not much i love football and how much i love it when i was a kid and you know how long it's been such i threw a football i can't remember the less i think the last time i threw a football was that day i was too about what they said get berries fast which was like thirty three like i honestly in the last eight years cannot remember ever throwing a football gonna fuck and tragic that is we were they run it post patterns it's fuckin you know across my i was having the time of my life till i sprained my finger but even then it was all right just sailors i wanna out johns fingers everything else on concerning places of fat little sausage fingers he has we talked about it doesn't piano playing fingers because you can't really reach that far but still the shit because he so that's what i have i have one elton john index finger arms real battalion anyway watch the food network and you watch it wanted to after does the well method making the pasta which is
that i really want to fuck and try always want to try to make my own homemade pastor i really got into cooking ferment i used to watch that show multi mario every day because he seem like the real deal in our only did i understand the dish he had been to the country where it ben you know he'd bend italy hung around with stallions and they taught him how to fuck and make the stuff after they get but on a shit not knowing what he was doing explained the part of italy that it came from just a tremendous show and i like that does it is our kitchen you just as like a couple of friends over and and i just looked at it and like a comedy kind of way where he just seem like a comedian whose we a comedian like they don't need props sterile needed catchphrase he should stan and they are doing is shit right as opposed others shows where you got you know like was an essay emilio esteve s what the fuck that guy's emerald lugosi this summer to so much i got into the food network i could act
we tell how much happier emerald lugosi was when he was doing essence admiral as opposed to being in front of the crowd you now doesn't work work and affordable alive audience but you could see the sadness in his face when the crowd just sits there and then he has to do all that extra shit allison turning to like you know i've got some broader and every slow start screaming where i essence emily can just sit down a cook the dish and not after sitting rowan flower over his shoulder and shit into the eyes of his drummer gonna fuckin drummer on a goddamn cooking show so anyway i sort of say like look if you love football your plane awhile stretch out throw the ball around i'm telling you you gotta do it before you fucking place on sunday one of the science silent competitions i have with with other guys you know you go into a sports bar and you just look at the horror that is a sports bar the complete addis shape fat fox
the bloated alcohol and wings face that you see every time you turn around you know i could i rent emptying i gotta sports bar like i always try to work out before i go there you know burn off whatever the fuck i'm money in their cars and i want to look like those people that are in there some say is a fun wife you hate the fuckin gm go get a goddamn football dude felt like i was in the fifth grade like when i was done i was looking for my book bag is ridiculous course two hours later i did not feel like a fifth grade felt like i was forty eight but it was fun none the less rights let's get on with the podcast quest and in an and what not is a great thing if any anybody else has like a haircut station like what i had for whatever reason you didn't have the fight it's funny when i was saying i was so mad and i say i was telling me i have to go back there when i was drop in her up drop in her off she goes just
go back and slashes tyres which really me back to the whole revenge thing of how average somebody's car i literally said that too i got that's the bitch move i could wash chuck norris is tyres if he wasn't stand in there and ruin now go back and fight the guy or just fuckin or or don't go back and represent tenant off like a fuckin pussy fight or don't fight or take a walk around a lake calm yourself down it admitted that you're forty one years old and you probably had a fuckin fifty fifty chance a losing the thing to begin with i would have the groundwater gravel embedded in the side of my face you know just taken both shoe to the head ignoble both shoes he wasn't that that i here we go his apart guess i'm right last week i was telling you guys about how i've i discovered the
ad hoc word when complaining to cooperate at the word is unacceptable all right just in case you guys feel that i don't know what i'm talking about which is exactly what you should feel because i am a moron i got this great email from somebody where the fuck is it god damn it i thought i had it you know what i'm the worst what do you guys into this fuckin podcast no no no i put i have re fuckin here for me i'd is back on its back on track i actually got i actually got an email from somebody who answers phones for one of those big corporations are right if you want to learn how to do it i explained at last in last week's podcast release least my story of how i went about getting my money back so so this guy as we really nice larry says i just want to say your pockets of fucking hilarious
come on we should do is show in alma sometime ah that's all one dude alma has a rough one i will at some point i just have to get psyched up for that the twenty eight planes and went up to take to get there that's what else like fuck states we have to fly past it to fall into a hub city you know to finally get there flying to omaha vii of fuckin tampa what are here we go also i want to say we're dealing with corporations using the word the annex double line does work i am a support agent for a well known financial combat company if someone continually a pain in the ass about something and are persistent about it eventually they will get their way you guys here then i know it's mourning for some of you you stern coffee did you hear that someone is continually a pain in the ass about something and our persist
about it eventually they will get their way usually the customer service representative we are incurred to try and steer the conversation away from from things like credits try to offer the suggestions and that's the part where you get mad could you not get what you want but that we have to be cool right so anyway he says basically we try to oh shit them a little and try and put them ease lighter one ok but if a customer is still not happy we will give a credit or whatever you want as long as it's reasonable as fair just to get you off the phone however if you start using profanity while on the phone call chances are we will try and find ways not to help you or disconnect the call altogether regardless of rules and procedures representatives do have the ability to make judgment calls basically if you while the customer service rep account i will go aren t you they will not help you
to using the unacceptable line don't give up and you eventually we'll get what you want to see that people there you go now you have the information you need for professional rather than some moron commedia to almost got in a fight outside pancake house i actually want another one this week i ordered the energy package the centre rice package and ask a now so i says to the guy who decided goes to fuckin vaudeville so i ask the guy says hey buddy what's with the chicken soap i asked i s elias the lady what i ordered it does occur what the innate shall channel and she says the hold on let me check and she says why yes yes it does and i said to you and you know what you got yourself a deal
take the centre rice package with the any churchill so she says ok all right so they boot the fuckin thing up next day lo and behold i don't know the channel so i call and what are they say to me they say hello sir what can i do for you and i tell my deal oh we actually she in her note she left she said that you hung up before the call was over and as like no i didn't i immediately got pissed to i kind of fuck this phone call up a little bit in the beginning i went the country route but i didn't say it but then i got it back on track i was like nah i didn't and you guys like well according to her notes you did and i was like well according to my memory i was on the phone call in you weren't okay so why am i so now what she gets to just say something happened she writes it to cover harass you know and you know so that's when i kind of mad but then i was able to bring it back and just say look the conversation ended with her
thank you very much is there anything else i can help you with what you think i was half through ordering it don't hang on a second sir hang on our like too late goodbye i didn't do that all right and the guy's a guy have to charge you five dollars a month for this and all this is this is like the zero tolerance i have i am arguing five dollars a month which is gonna be thirty bucks over the course of this months season and i'm like now nah pain that ok and the guy goes i can't i can't give it to you i don't want to a guy wasn't cancel the centre rice package and the guy goes i can't do that you mean you can't do that because you can't and so once you order it i guess mean to tell me that i where did something it's what you told me it was it isn't and now i can't cancel it and you can't rectify the situation is at waiter by business run a business as i said i go that's unacceptable i want to talk to somebody else so i get this next on the phone at this point i finally calm down
and i was able to use that line sir i understand you you know you don't make the rules i know this was your call the scenario ok blah blah blah blah blah blah if you can't give me the channel for free like i told it was you know that it came with the package i would like to cancel centre isogai goes why can't do either one of those but this is what i can do your duty costs ten bucks a month how about it the three free months dvr that'll be thirty bucks discount and the whole you'll be a wash nose like you know what you got yourself a deal bam two went off turning this franchise around a perennial losing franchise and just like the fuckin saint i am now a factor i am now a fuckin factor in the last two weeks i got twenty five but dollars back and i got thirty dollars back i am plus fifty five i'm like a deject that the mush now a bronx tail and finally when it up
lastly i set myself fifty five bucks dynamic tube socks you can buy with fifty five bucks the lot of fuckin socks how greatly of feet feel when you got a new pair of socks you know i never whistle your item i ever whistle you ever see me whistling you know i got a brand new pair fuckin dress ox a tube socks on your feet take tingle in that right clia they tingle now saw but she was gonna make the noisome receive and get her mon this week it doesn't hurt too busy sniffing a microphone anyways i write so let's get out the fuckin questions here because i could start wrap this up moments done here say in all i feel great right now i feel great told that fuckin story about the guy the diner i got laughing i got to laugh at myself i got to be honest the chances are probably would have lost a fuckin fight you know so i stand up is a great thing to gray fuckin thing
you had to make a complete ass audio self fill in addition and laugh laugh about it that you feel better right so we need advice aright hey bill i got a couple questions accomplices raised above i went out with this girl last year before i went to the prom with her it wasn't really a date but it was just chance to go out with her and get to know to get to know before went to prom winona a great time that evening at it and at the problem i proceeded to facebook her about a weekly and asked her if she wanted to go out again she basically shed such like to go out again but not in a romantic way bumpo bomb blue air rights and i took that emotional kick in the chest after hearing this i backed off and in pursuer for a month or so in this time she got a boyfriend blue but do which honestly piss me the fuck off as well it should have i had to talk to her i had talked to her for a body
week before she went out with this guy when they finally were officially day i told her i didn't want to cause trouble and i did want to bother she replied by that she she said she didn't want to go out again with me is because she was whose bought how i felt and seen we first went up before problem that i wasn't interest it is enough after she said let's just go out and be friends right didn't she did i already forget the first part of this we saw each other maybe two or three times again through birthdays graduation parties until i went off to college and she went back to high school i am now a freshman ecology and have made no friends on account of my horrific people skills i feel like i should go after college girls but i can't stop thinking bout the high school girl and feel like she's light years ahead of these big tinted shallow college girls i also feel like she's first girl that i felt comfortable hanging out with although she seems like she would be a hard girl too to woo as really intelligent i'm still am unsure of sheep
like me at all i was wondering what you think anything any tips on how to really impressed girls besides the cliche confidence or expensive shit i write to you said something back here they're really just ring a bell wasting we two or three do i have your cake this sentence right here dude i am now freshmen college and have made no friends on account of my horrific people skills are right dude that's right there that's the money right dear that's what you need to work on our right to this girl still in fact in high school you're off at college you know i mean you're a college your college you're living a college that is the ultimate fucking nightclub for the next four years its degree this night club of all fucking time is living at college you there's just one and everywhere the run every fuckin floor there in every goddamn class you don't have to you know you're not to walk into a nightclub like a baby what she sighed did somebody
they all the lights out of the sky and put him in your eyes right you not to was stupid shit like that you ever you know what he's fine it's easy to pick up women when you're both there's a real that both you were there like the jim you both there to work out your honor train you're both go on home you know they don't have their guard up much as when they go into the fuckin texas chainsaw massacre fuckin meat locker that is a goddamn nightclub all right so this is what you need to do all right i think right now you say that said that all basically all college girls a big timid and shallow i think a lot of it has to do with kind of europe you're hopeless feelin right now that you don't know how to talk to people you dont know how to get things going ok that's part of being a freshman boss to seem like a bigger universe than you can handle but what you need to do you need to work on your horrific people skills are right
and it is a skill that you can work on our right just like catching a foot i've never gonna be able to catch a footballer jerry rice but if i fucking do enough times i can catch the fuckin thing right maybe imitate somebody's enzo dance but you're gonna get in the games which you need to do is understand that you kind of put neck up on a pedestal you don't really know our and i think that the comfort can already having your foot in the door i bet you are a lot more comfortable about euro comfortable de facto you just kind of being friends and the pressure was was was kind of taken off the hope naw man that type of thing you you know you're shy so you take like baby steps you don't mean instead of taking the big step and trying to gravity on the first day of joking but you know him so this is what i would do if i was you seriously i'm kind of fuckin around here but i know this is like a serious subject for you so this is all spheres is just what you gotta do is just
got it you gotta force yourself audio shall you know i mean if you say hello to a girl she's not going to punch you in the face or whatever just really right down on a piece of paper what's what the the humiliation of one of the fear you have what you think's gonna happen i'm telling you a lot of times when you do that you actually read it you realize how dickie illicit is an damn i'm tellin you do then gonna be better looking there when their college all you guys you're at you if you fuckin you're right off right after the assembly line in detroit dude fuck that college girl make what god bless i'm sure she's a nice person but you gotta get in a game you gotta started crushing ass as they say in fucking school that's what you should be doing there and die now go as many girls as you can see what you like and mentally become up with it list as far as what's the kind of girl eventually want to stay with meantime your bang a couple of
tat it shallow girls you always were a condom unacceptable not where one due to a fuckin worth it and you know then you got you stories then you got your can stories and when you get married you know any good out of a donkey doughnuts and you want to bang the girl behind the counter you now the temptation wolpe is great because you ve fucked all those big tinted whores at college are right so psyche self up don't even tell even like enough you got some friends there at school just be open a bodyguard damn it i got it i got no game what girls just say it get it out there i got no game with girls come on help me up you know be a wing man do somethin i gotta get fuckin led just get it out there are times as much caught block and assholes you guys can be when summons open and honest about like that i have some guy ever set it to me there's no fuck away i would try to help amount so you'll be all right plus it your first semester so you're you're you're making everything bigger than it is right
so they got that you mentioned get out you shall forget about that girl came them you know what after you know your first two semesters you gonna come home with a little bit swagger you might be able to bang that broad back when she's done with a little fucking pottery class you never know my come full circle a reality time for a couple more questions than i gotta get going here before you go and why don't i just do this i'll save the questions till next week or maybe a couple of quick just to let you know these are my upcoming gigs four november november sixty sixth the other two thousand nine and be a town hall in new york city people tickets are going fast right then if you act now i will throw in a billboard can open up now certainly sir he nodded seep theater and last i heard we are sold a thousand and that was a couple
weeks ago and have set a flash back to that chapelle ship thus ah and word that was weeks ago member that you slap me in the face he said that was weeks ago when the greatest lines of all time we have the town hall in new york city and the next day i don't have it on my website november seventh two thousand nine i will be at boston eta gayness arena where the b you terriers play doing the dentist we comics come home the fifteenth anniversary it's gonna be great gonna get to see a bunch of friends of mine what else so i got problem tempi arizona the nineteenth twentieth and twenty first and then what else that's it that's all four november that i'm in cleveland and in seattle and then i do my special so please come out please continue for me i really appreciate it and have time to talk about rick flare videos
we brought up the rick flare chop and i had not watched rick flare in years two if you really want a laugh please go you tube and just watch rick flare hype and his jesus it's one he said tat he said there is one i am holding up these loafers did i talk about this last week i can't remember look up rick flair old and spoon there's another one where he tells this guy that this fuckin do that issues are worth more than his house there is a great interview you know where he talks about movie the ressler any just seems like the greatest sky ever like you know us and careers ovaries not bitter he's really thankful it's just like i once again i became an even bigger rick flare fan watch in its hour i see effort flair the rick flare flop reflection ops rick flair lips he's got some of the greatest i can videos out there you just realized
true legend what i fuckin showman what what are just a fuck it unbelievable entertainer athlete and everything that this guy wasn't a fucking things that what is body through man i would i would love at some point that guy's everyday assigning anywhere i'm fuckin all over it you know that's it and that's it for this week i hope you guys enjoyed the podcast sorry was a little bit short i'll get to the questions next week hope you guys have a good week our man those other great question this guy was asking why is trainee porn on heterosexual websites fuck i want an answer that want to i gotta get to that next week i write them leaving yonah cliffhanger i'll talk to you guys next week
that's it that's what i did some
Transcript generated on 2019-12-15.