hey what's goin on his bill burn is time for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast and i m just checking in on you ok there's a very somber podcast i'm fucking sombre just have to go do as shown in point of fact at my voice before even go out there screaming like an idiot i'm in clear lake iowa right now i'm about to do these serve ballroom the sight of the the final body holly big bopper richie violence show i just landed in the airport that they took off from there does subsequently died and are off you heard about that they died along with some music i believe damn i told what people are swine and the objectives are you out of your mind good luck to good luck you don't owe me

did they don't say that when you fly to allay ex right some focus more on flu is plain into a commercial airlines ellie when the guy was on final so i mean i don't understand what the deal is the reason why the plane crash into they didn't have the technology back then there was the idea the ice on the wing ok not only adding weight to the aircraft it changes the shape of the fuckin wing so doesn't produce lived you need and then he got the big bopper and there is a big guy die you got yourself a problem all right now we all know that i've been off the booze i've been losing weight so i'm flying in i'm not flying and i'm riding in and i'm in a prop plane coming down from minneapolis and of course you know when you're flying commercial you look at a prop plane like dude what the fuck you know but if you just knew how much the plane probably cost us and our approach to its public two million dollar airplane right the conceit ten people

now if you just look at dead like what if i own that what have i own one of those i have a few at a time in passenger fuckin plane you are this shit everyone is this guy he's do he's gonna fuckin play scott applying what is it hold ten people get the fuck out of that guy's crushing it but the second you fly commercial and it's a ten cedar everybody gets all fuckin freaked out like i'm gettin in that piece of shit the exact same plain that of your body down the street when i bought you you do you think that he hit the lottery right bloodless mute moving fuckin parts so i get on the thing and i immediately text a body mine whose fuckin terrified of flying just to watch you up i was generally wish that he was there that body mine outside of communism taken the picture as the lady who's gonna fly it is doing the the announcements talent is basically what not to do

and egos do there's no fuckin way would be on that plane and then he saw the woman's face he goes is that the pilot and i go yeah and he goes enough no way he said not for females what good unbelievable we not for females and she doesn't have the bench press it it's a fucking machine jesus christ because a guys like you should probably went to extra bullshit to become a pilot i think she's gonna be fine she crushed it of course not for females i don't know i'm sure someone will be offended by that but it really just had to do with this person's fear of flying you know what i mean he was the enough we basically wants the pilot i don't know what to look like to look like fuckin lee majors assumption and we advocate most of em down

because they sit up an uncomfortable share their whole life and they got a quick turn around so they run and they need airport food and a lot of them the lot of you look like you know if they didn't have like that they actually know if you were to buffalo wild wings you took the average football fan yet our draft canings fuckin galloping o paupers fuckin loud moron then you took that fat fucks jersey off and you put on a pilot you put them in a pilot uniform you any told you flew for american you believe it you know not saying that the average pilot is dumb is he ever dope that goes to a fuckin sports bar myself included i'm saying that they have the same body type that's all i'm saying all right so anyways you don't think that was fucked up is i guess it's bobby and numbers thing there was only ten of us including the pilot and is one of those flights where you know

big they gonna like way your bags all that shit they tell you wait a set you know the whole weight and balanced thing and then one of the passengers gets to sit up and the co pilot seat and i was just thinking like that's the only part about this that i don't like that there's only one pilot here you don't fly commercial there should be two people get somebody as some sort of cardiac episode or whatever right there's one thing i was concerned about but it was of course was a cloudy day knowledge shit but it was incredible so anyways i think i might do this broadcast in two parts because i'm so excited to be playing this venue here tonight i'm here with dean del ray we're freaking out there we're gonna get to play this place and it's still the original stage

most of these places they don't have the original stage because whoever was legendary who played their didn't immediately go out get on a plane and then died so immediately that place became like the shrines late they leave added to the stage but the wood flooring the same and they were going to stand on the same fuckin word on our fear into that type of stuff i am so very exciting as everybody's ever play their assigned the wall when a try take pictures it they let us know so but either way i'm gonna come back and finish out this podcast after i do the show by the way i hope you guys enjoy that live podcast as much as i did got a bunch of compliments people really liked it i definitely want to do another one there was weird i felt like i was doing stand up but i was just sort of sit down on the couch now

and i was also like amazed at what people laugh at you know i had to be like you know i just been doing it talking to myself like i am right now forever i am an idea what you laughing at but i have no idea how much you guys laughed when people wrote in and shit all over me when they when they ask advice and and then the level of crazy shit that i say on air just being a fuckin moron i had no idea that people after that i just picture always pictured always picture guys snickering and then their wives shaking their heads walking out of the room thats what i picture when people listen to my podcast i didn't realize you know we and i wait a nice makes a people there although they all my gonna forget today's there was this one group of ladys who went to the show that would just hell bent on let me know that their friend didn't laughed once right how did i lose a great story some stand there and taken pictures right

forget it you know sign in the posters and all that shit for everybody who came out to the podcast are being a great guy don't make tat being a great guy i could just on the fucking show i couldn't hidden a green room afterwards being like i'm too tired i don't want to meet people blah blah blah blah blah i don't want to do it because i was in reno and that guy reached him for his camera that time and the loaded glock fell on the floor that he said oh shit quickly picked up and ran out of the fucking place i walked out there and i was being a good guy right so these are these older ladys right older meaning there probably about a year younger than me here to younger than me you never know it's very hard to get a woman's age a white woman said she and i can tell you told me because they're not big on using lotion and after you have a kid like that does something

you don't see you don't it's a guy it's hard because as long as we take care of ourselves we don't have to go through given birth you don't owe me although we do have to live with women i maybe maybe just all kind of washes up at anyways i think there are roughly my age then also i wasn't in like i was in phoenix phoenix is a gear there's enough plastic surgery the other people give a shit what they look like some of these city should go to date like give like watch old movies our old tv shows in the seventies and you'll see somebody or you will get a picture when your favorite actors within twenty five it's like to that kind of like a forty year old like what twenty five used to look like compared away does not while we go to smaller towns those people aged away people used to age like lucille ball going from i love lucy to the lucy show

she looked like she did it forty years later she went from having this really nice voice soothingly i made the modi like fucking smoking campbell unfiltered whatever the hell she did but anyways what the fuck is my point is that these ladys come woken up our echo just say the obama age right which means that fuckin old so they would just say you know you said no question you you know you wanted i was saying guys you need to be honest and they would i get anything i think what happened was i think that they didn't like what i said about the woman had found out she was banging this guy had a wife and family i don't i don't think they like the response to that so they came up as they seem like they wanted to make me upset

because they came up and they were going like yeah just to let you know just let you know she she didn't laugh once she didn't laugh once and i laughed that's funny right owes us they are sorry right and she goes yeah i like you stand up but that podcast life i guess i don't know about that and i would like and she goes yak like i didn't laugh wants allows like right and then they would go like you said to be honest and she'll love what sells dislike i call so really what you want me to do i mean i had in our twenty minutes to make you laugh i didn't make you laugh i mean i'm sure as hell not going to do it stand there so i don't know what they were looking for they just kept amber in that fucking point go and you said you said you wanted honest it would just be an honest eyes i appreciate it fine you know and then i finally just said look ladys ike everyone else was laughing

and then i kind of made emotion around the woman who was laughing i was like i can survive this and they all went right i'm so i wasn't shitting honor i just always look like the president of the united states ok like i wonder then there was like four five hundred people there one person came up and said that they didn't like it so just to make round numbers will say three hundred ninety nine out of four hundred people enjoyed it ok if president or a senator had that level of approval rating i mean it that would be unheard of on fuckin heard up so i'm gonna walk away thinking that was a win and you know

they just don't they just kept couple were be she didn't like it she did not like him and that's the greatest see you can ever do when anybody criticise you just now away i want you to feel the weight of me not liking it i shall ask just given our referred aren't you pay for the ticket sweeter tell you what i'll make a deal i will give you the money back and whatever else it takes to get these fuckin hands away from me good lord of us trying to think what did i say that made him take it to that level cause there's no way

if they were with some guys i would think our right they got dragged to the show and they like who was this fuckin animal now that's happened me a million times and then i sheepishly apologizes i'm sorry i'm a moron but they came thereby themselves which means they liked me before they went there so either she truly didn't laugh once truly did not like it because she just didn't think i was funny or somewhere in there i pissed off i think it might have been that you know i want to say it was either the married woman thing the ovarian cancer dead first wives in the snow one aspect i must say somewhere in there

she decided that she needed to tell me that she did last once they laugh once i have to tell you kind of made my fucking nighter everyone scared like any saving wants a while but is everyone's one because i don't go out there man i off of oh god i had some fucking like came so old i can't even remember the amount of fuckin times specially a lot of women took as i went to a bad period but good i'd say like twelve year period out of my twenty five just really trash women illegibility just might fuckin issues i'm trying to think what the fuck vaguely member being in north carolina and this woman was walking up to the table and it was fuckin heller's boyfriend her husband was like holding her back he lively was water skiing behind her

she was drunk or whatever i came and what the fuck she was saying is of such a spectacle watching that guy trying to hold your back as she was like climbing forward if you don't look like it look like you know you like wartime footage when they like split up families it look like she was trying to get back to her childlike that's that was the level of effort that she was making just to come up to me to tell me how much of a fuckin money moron she thought i was there was a good night's comedy club i do remember that i just don't remember what i said oh what she said i had that one this is where there are commonly like face a sector like you know like when you watch slights psycho when he comes in with the knife and you can't see his face spoiler alert they can't see his face

that's what they kind of look like to me anyways i don't dwell on this shit any longer but anyway see if for whatever reason if that woman who didn't laugh once is still listening to this i don't know what you want from me i would be no support i would go to the all things comedy network we have plenty of podcast i'm sure there's something else said she could find there by the way the pod gas network the things coming upon guess network of the first annual progress festival was a smashing success we got rave reviews mobility came out i really want to thank everybody and then also irish affair who was just sort of the mayor of the podcast festival where he got in thursday he jumped on everybody's podcast he just was just a fuckin greatest guy ever so anyways with that how can i go this far in my podcast and not mention the first world championship by the houston astro how great is that

that was such a great thing that was ass great to see as it was sad for ellie you i'm telling you you gotta hate that somebody has to lose a game seven is just brutal i was actually sit there thinking how cooler and beat actually some magic johnson he's got an envy nba ring in a world series ring this does anybody a sports nerds anybody know anybody out there on both of those ranks i take it back in the day maybe somebody one the football and the baseball that was like a big thing for europe sport guy no sports didn't really overlap that she could possibly went to titles but i don't know about our pockets stomach is ground trying to stand shaped like a few more days and this fuckin movie so you're fucking days actually i she brought in caesar salad i must wait a moment i'm time a caesar's salad

ok and i always want to do that because i love when people start yelling at you about the amount of calories in the dressing and the crew tons in yadda yadda and all that fuckin shit now you might as well i've had a stake i think all of that is bullshit for she still have the letters all the fuckin you know pesticides on it you know mass the decision you have to make do i want to eat a cow they ate another cow was with hormones in it or do i want to eat this thing that was spread by ddt or whatever the fuck is in the ship the other day i think any bad if there's a fuckin salad i'll go with the the cancerous pesticides is probably worse to eat one of those things but i don't hear this shit about the fuck addressing

i want wanna forever your word about that will take us i know i feel after use pocket caesar salad versus how i feel i aid is stake you know with a couple of sides the fuck out of here that's it is it i'm fucking grab and at my pants like match fully i am i ever got for like three days after that i know it's all like a bad for you who gives a shit i just need eighty elliptical i started my physical therapy for my rotate a cup injury finally i don't know why it took so long like that how long if i do it goes do these excise three times a day go when should when alyosha safeguards are gonna six weeks typical german irish stupid freckled can't i've been deal with this for a year and a half like an asshole i could just gone to somebody a goddamn physical therapists is yes we deal with this all the time this is what works do this

see in a week so very excited my shoulder actually fills a little better although being out this iowa whether fortunately i checked dumb i checked the weather before i came out there cuz i wouldn't you know living in la you don't think it's just endless summer all day sometimes you forget what time of year it is actually brought a peek out here and i got to tell you it's fucking killing my shoulder to put it on and off dean help put my coat back on after we ate the worst fucking the worst fuckin meal i've had since i was with deemed el ray again when i was in wyoming weakness little diner and i think that the short order of wasn't there that day and i ordered two eggs over easy they came they will i clear they look like fucking breast implants with yolk in the middle of it with this fucking guy brian i still ate him cuz i was hungry member the waitress came by she was just like was it was that all right

this time we were walking i can tell you that the name of the airline that we fuckin took in your uttering another name of it it was it was a play unlike air force one like the present a hang on one sec let me see if i can find the shit fuck you we go here we go and what the fuck is that where the fuck is my you know what i did i was on a plane i deleted like a hundred fuck and text messages you don't have that thing like oh my god i can't delete it if i deleted the night i don't have the thread but you're trying some case but you started the leading a bunch of when we all felt good here we go what is the name of this fuckin thing air choice one

in it we couldn't even pre checking for this thing had to walk to the gate we're in minneapolis and it was just like we just kept walking and want to know why we didn't take the little monorail thing we just kept walking the walk and was in the concourse b which was like you went down stairs and walked underneath the fuckin tarmac or some shit to get over to this other side and but it was still coolly shit and then with a belated like the mid city airport it this was called i don't want to fuck it's called but it was cool is shit airport you just walk right in to gain agents this like twelve chairs down near the baggage claims i love little airports anyway so we were we're on our way over there and i had the worst fucking

food that i've had since when i was in shine why arming and i know that place is better than what it was i just was went there in a bad day i'm not shit non why arming i'm not shit non cheyenne i i got the meat loaf with the potatoes are right in spanish and when you re talking about red meat starch everybody knows it shut the fuck up right i like potatoes with the meat i don't give a shit so they put this mushroom graven on top of it i swear to god it tastes i don't know it tastes like somebody just took an aerosol can and spread it out like a chemical taste to it it was so fucking bad i was i deem tasteless cases seems just you so what the fuck is like i know then you know what fixes everything what is that duct tape of food

they give you in construction right even prompt ducking rightly take out the don t be fuckin gonna rapid around a few times you find what is the duct tape of food everybody we all know it we all love it salt salted the shit out of its salt couldn't even help it i i'd go for ketchup i d put salt and catch up on this fuck i just folliot a tap out did i always whenever the waiters comes over says how is the food even if it sucks i say how eager seizures hours it i always say it was good god thank you i even said it was good when i had the breast implant fucking eggs over easy right and this was the time i was gonna be like if she asked me how this is going to say this is becomes could save his tastes like this is like a what i got like homeless by give some homeless guy soaked his feet in it

because actually she just sitting there waiting for the waitress to come over thinking how can i accurately described how fucking horrific this in it if you're in minneapolis minneapolis and you're gonna take air choice one airlines there's a fuckin restaurant right to the left bright before you go down the escalators of don't get the meat loaf what the gravy right spoiler alert oh my god what was it cannot is the only way to describe it it wasn't like what is that ingredient like truffle oil travellers fuckin obnoxious it just just overwhelms anything that it's on it's never always there truffle oil in here it's how much trefoil is in this fuckin thing its undeniable this taste i you know

i wish i could a bright one is cooking shows in all those fuckin guys would like a man and woman they got those paths bookcase tasting ombu reagan on this chocolate or like those of noxious cigar videos without douche bag those fucking douche bags sit there smoking a cigar that is one of the most like monolithic noxious things you will ever see put on a youtube video and watch a guy do a review of a fucking cigar i fucking when they see this charm i'm tasting chocolate it tasting chocolate in the smoke you fat fuck would you just gotta friendly's needed jim dandy who the fuck tastes chocolate we you fuckin smoke and one of those cigars that they have dipped in like that sugar we should give it some fuckin guy with a sweet tooth gives your goddamn cigar you're going to dentist the next day

i guess i gotta pick this up i gotta go i'm actually a couple minutes later i gotta go i'm gonna want when i returned i will what it was like to perform at the legendary surf ballroom for me it's gave you now have for you it's gonna be a mere sec and a bag just like that just like tat two seconds of your life a good fuckin know there was three four hours of my life i just performed to serve ballroom clear lake iowa unbelievable one of the poorest stand and also like me are spooky as places i've ever performed so here's the deal you drew out you pull up it looks like it looks like it's from the nineteenth fifty's

you walk in the exact same door they all walked in and there was this little green room area it looks like they used to be a bathroom back there too they cannot just get rid of them and they had a couple of sinks i get that they used to some shit in everybody's autograph these walls and i'm sure that that's like the fifth time they probably painted only by pain over once every decade and they just keep like these big people like willie nelson merle haggard women jennings of course and then all these other people i suck you know all the guys for my skid row bunch of bands that i knew from the 80s and 90s early 90s that i used to listen to faster pussycat all of them who else just a whole bunch of people so many ways you go out there and i'm tellin you may insect is giant so it's you are happy days

and what they did is they had the original stage and then they built out from the original stage but some woman a number of years ago actually had photos from that night and she found him all these years later she can actually tell where the state was i made sure when i was up there i walked all the way back to what they have like the phone were richie violence and in body holly made their last phone calls its really emmets fits his is this weird thing of like an incredible party history and like really morbid i don't know i'm always interested that type of ship than its also weird like i want to elvis's house and i remember going in there was a young comic and i wanted to go in and laugh like illegally shared curb with the folks up with elvis and i went in there and actually fell bad afterwards i got me i'm in this case house with his gaze to chill out and shit i feel it enough

this is in the end you walk and by his grave insurance i can we just leave this guy alone already gives avonlea made enough fuckin money and then you go across the street is a gift shop they literally made a coup clock announce it locally as is hips will move in shit but the way they did it here was very like respectful but can i do not feel like a little bit of a cool when you go there i'm a little bit of a glad on death is interesting get out dead rock stars are interesting there are right and i was interested i went i got to perform their instead of the stage was fuckin amazing and everybody cabin on the show is fuckin

a crowd was awesome i'm telling you all you fucking a lead is liberal consul live near an ocean you'd think you're fuckin i don't know what you really miss out our right and our u redneck fuckin my pig one first fuckin blue ribbon in the fuckin who gives a shit contest you're missing out by not going out to the coastal rights everybody fuckin grow up because this fund to be had out there yet out of it you know it was funny when i was on the plane ride over this one was gone i was like she's like is what most friendly is places everybody waves allow everybody's this really friendly audio intercourse may have taken you have your wife i'm not saying a black guy can't come out here but if a certain amount came out here you know and they weren't gonna fuckin play for iowa or i was state did be some issues it's

i don't know why but that's the way the world is alright let's let's do a little and then we came back to the hotel and ran through this fuckin guy and they came out to meet god people keep saying that you don't look it look like it i mean it's fucking shit faced and i was just like i would take that as an insult i go you're better look inversion of mc just get up big tall drunk i e just compliment is fuckin where everyone they again the fuck away from me right boost of funny guy and he just it was very like talked with his hands and shed emphasis is giant twenty years younger me with hair and i finally just i couldn't take it anymore i find just said tom i said do you hammered egos i got you hammered egos hammered i go hammered i'm sorry

and he walked away oh what a great all agreed bar was what i want to sit down at a couple assess guerrillas but i didn't seventy seven days and seventy seven re bork seventy seven paul coffee seventy seven makes soldier seventy seven again lead zepplin tore it lets read some advertising here and then i'm gonna fuckin upload the senior levin twenty five central time dullish shape club everybody dolly shave club here you ve heard me talk about the amazing shaving get i got from my dollar she club razor especially when i use it with their doktor cavvies easy shame well i'm here to tell you i'm never giving up my membership in fact i'm adding even more dollars shape crab club products to my daily routine the fuck are they talking about i'm too stupid to figure out how to get a membership

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give jif whatever the fuck you can go to stamp star com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in burma that stamp start commenter burst stamps dot com never go to the post office again what was that chief remember that something what you see now when the woman sec whereas this relationship go into and then they cut to that all pd son we ate go where no where we a go nowhere i think that support guest i had such a great time and came out to get to meet a bunch of people afterward lotta peopled some people came of colorado people came from all around just to check out the venue that's what i liked about the show tonight i had a great time and i also feel there's a bunch of people that never been to that then you then you before so they got more than a show they also got to see that part of rock and roll history

the pictures in that the people that have played their it's it's unbelievable before you know all of those guys rituals at all those guys play they like duke ellington naval piano that duke ellington plate like sitting in the fuckin lobby it's incredible and it's beautiful out here and that's it i feel like i've i brought america together with the show you know i live out liberal hollywood were you know we believe and we know that we are better than anybody else in this country because we live near an ocean and we make movies about social issues to show that we care before returning back to our gaiety communities you know and we only wish that the rest of the cup country would catch up with us off with you any

that's it i'm on my way to two milwaukee wisconsin tomorrow one of my favorite pocket cities and i'll tell you all about that on monday and then i'm going up to green bait now i was supposed to hang around and gold papa papa monday night football game that's where we book that one well actually it's a good thing i mean i got an acting gig so i have to leave after the show to do my last three days on a movie called front runner starring hugh jackman it's a gary hart story directed by jason raymond i'm already promoting it didn't even than shooting it i'm already promoting it that's how great an employer come on next year are very similar to delays it looks it looks frigate amazing saw mega be able to get to where the gay but i am rogers is heard any ways but i've only been two lambeau feel them went there a long time ago it was actually have spain the skyline cafe and appleton wisconsin

and green bay had a precision game against the cleveland browns bread far was still there others are longer this was by far was still there nobody was talking about him retiring it was bred farm and he played like the first quarter maybe into the second quarter so i got to simply able but there i know it was just pcs and so i can i wanted to go back there for a legit game but

didn't work out on this trip but it's already been awesome so thank you to everyone came up enjoy the music and with them was the producer of the money money progress and thirsty absolutist for far too many more impartial sometimes even worse it think he's gonna play some music here and then were whistle to listen to and all progress from a thursday from you're gonna buy or possibly earlier this year and on done tat can go fuck yourself evergreen we can you can't talk gm monday this his wife what's your name their heather mill shall read this real fast of short wife to sir paul had short corks pot or may yeah listen to the or may heather mill said she gave sir palm accordingly a strict ultimatum as their relationship lessened quit smoking murat marijuana gives me or forget walking down the aisle

i told him i would not get married him if he was taking drugs i hate it heather thirty seven told london's observer newspaper i could not have him lying tar child about not taking drugs and then going out for a sneaky path he says he had a good incentive incentive to stop smoking part har ultimatum yeah of appeal and often use me yeah you think john lennon wanna taken there now this ain't a stimulant of balcony here with the one word though is the german lay ivan rules here paul macartney or what you obviously didn't sign a premium because there's no way to take that she went in brought it up this was before they get married she wanted him to stop smoking part there is no way paw macartney should be taking an ultimatum from any body essentially about what one foot this second wife but the one he wanted the one you wanted and married died she's like

the standard areas there are currently around like for fucking decades yeah yeah please help i sat there and let linda sing almost songs where is just making an abortion of of a classic beetle song just an open book and i say live and let live land gave me boy you're the hate you when my guy never heard did she have bessie voice that the engineers file it decides to just isolate her mike and hit record

there's no real audio from picardy concert was using background vocals i guess they turned down the makes for this guy said this is way too good a guy's share this with others so he take just her microphone i'm gonna hate judas be inertia i'm guessing she was probably kind of country through the guy instead an icy headache and that she was actually an israeli leaders like out of land i bit yeah oh i'm sure she probably you know that

they knew she stand can i get more based on my mind we're trying to manage our i gotta can hear what with the pack and playing here he's the one every time looking at this pointing at her ear and not putting our farm up like more monitor i can't hear me louder and makes you want lavish mixture both air force one one over that all and holds the real deal with this is actually one of the cardinal you think this is a job is so this is the real deal was getting allege every one last thing last is almost any one they broke up money saw so i gotta be a shower whatever shall we got a square away back but when the saint martin we got money rather look at my journey lizzie dual role is loaded smile lira grab the margin is into the market flip a bargain is well in his latest not a number my tribe we also have your legs it we don't like my down down down down down

you're the one who was much better you ever see rural circus the documentary like this is known as she can't sing i've never said but she's more turned aside to this man like an ostrich our ban on stage at john lennon how miata who was on the guy who ring i'll ring goes the king of the all star bears no but this was like nine drummers sums going to help us out you know this was now yoga finale so as john lennon siding with mick jagger eric laughed at our guitar jimi hendrix guitar chef back had to be there now that's right here that won't work whereby the who knows

this parliament and i got a job if this went down in order to survive this is is while where they pretty much like just then why has rights together just jammed with the final song is what i'm getting at yet it was lenin onstage with mick jagger eric laughed at our guitar and hendricks guitar and they just how can the fact that that alleging so listen to yoko erectus thing it was the the final song of his rival circus that diametric who has derek as it did you marla better ok

the german away ride like culture guys that is of course the guy's a dozen hamburgers what i feel they have a guy scientists abyssinia still like he was summoned to love it you think lenin hundreds basis but what about like a loud laugh it should be the sir i got a job you fucking life fatima resolving the one about her over the heavenly deplores the powerful i know i'm not available this whole thing was no she's spills awful good old run out of this programme what is this still sick man i don't know what a well known fact that are directly the nine years who tell us for john whether those arrested sounds like i don't know how to bring about agnes had to bring in a roll call back up my boys workers anybody who helped me before i got divorced said she would lose your fucking laws is those human being i want to use the signal we get together saw that the local pub how does that sound like this sounds like a napalm strike on the whole human surround that's what it sounds like a screaming vietnamese children cock david texas data like all mike

linda regarding what has he was she wore a parking lot one day you solve this i don't know how to mcdonald bag on the floor is truck society is an on the spot for mcdonald while the remainder is now no made whatsoever in lithuanian right there in fact inside those albania will stand as likely structure that is bad you're fighting gone no shit unbelieving of age told you guys who as we all everyone at around two implosion out that's gonna ran in new york ready on young guy say you're going a little what do you think i'm a costly is using her leg it abandoned old smoky have a path that tell a story that's where the ultimatum was desired up smoking at our out of my letter mills is telling a beetle part were me how bout ah me smoking pot or you

gimme your ass out here and try to find another beetle matter who's been lottery thy does one last thing i panels harding go you eddie if it wasn't for drugs we wouldn't have the second half of the beatles earlier i began urgent peppers all that right was drugs with drugs there that i got an earlier girlfriend and give the same automated we will have all that yes it came out new air had i want to hold your hair you think the beatles what are you doing out with like like one who gone down in history as a sound like the handsome brothers could be related to hear that those satin major et fuckin outfits on food they sang aside all the yellow submarine

that's funny i guess pre drugs those that now i really have there is a definite line when they discovered drugs and it is so apparent and now what is telling palmer carnival way off the plot the i still have some of the serum still one little puffin also raises its head it's a brilliant saw it coming out remember me smile your paws may have your heart

she's pigeon at him find another bit of guy had a head that's amazing i wonder why ie isn't to push you to go listless was beyond as you see this house your living in those because our woking part with my pals smoke implied in doing a lot more how would you believe me i know i was just here in the house i got up and let me show you i think i'll go out and see that shit that's the living room i want the who the fuck i want to do tat is pointed a leg just listen up smoking captain i am giving you a lot of money but look out just constantly pointed afoot nobody no one hot enough to be misled limb when i can get us about your poor macartney could git

a twenty one you're all do you get this is now myself beach yeah this isn't even an issue that europe there i bet your game he can macartney with the beatles this since it is only too well you just sit there i was used was you thought we should treat it should go about for ages looking like an arrow until she said so and she any doesn't keep goin issued shaggy look i deliver once again the three just something again they should have been working on

which one is it again for her back i'm a second then knowing it in a knocking on the fake one hello i'm a beetle who feels your closet with left shoes mathematics does your last name is first my fucking got me about you know i am going to give you a new what else no wooden leg of a joint whenever footed just ass you hang it was fuckin is our fire at one end and somebody second fuckin colonies joint frankie made whales to convince your rooms yard what's our frightened say exactly what the people to serve it dropped ok died you rob saw

that's we're gonna upon my mistake in album called rubber saw animals are happy about an hour called robbers all not my mind relax it worked out by one hour hold your hand you think i want to just never thought about my life that paul from uglier than it but wasn't part of great yeah i'm fine grained looking i are they went out at that time they came out they were like in sync but then i was a boy band of liverpool when they were in one wonders when they're fucking came out though there was superbly we live in a lame tired and no there was daylight they were done that stuff was able faded if they didn't you know well into peter noon list peter known stuff who didn't

progress on to that henry the idea i am and i really eight i am i am enables it does domini might have been addressed this is our second inverse say river i'm ready i diameters like although we have not had the same taxis midnight abolish slaughter of many young men to some thin go that guy some data known you know our luck and arousing eyes a thousand those guy the bad guys but they never went on you smoke reply and taking lsd ma regime for idle get hammered even thought i shoot by remorse appall jerseys got someone was poor poor we're gonna go back you should give apart when his wife and have a full term pregnancy

well now you worry the foot while all my good is never look look at aerosmith aerosmith in the seventies completely wasted i gotta best fuckin view their pressure i'm gonna get cleaned up and get loving an elevator guy got their most commercial success though do they got off in macedonia which is weird man sick with the pro drugs fuckin slighter the shout that is for thee the feedback bit running you did what did i around your bet that threaten the man you got me back you motherfucker savages are we don't forget we don't forget colonial and delete broke my heart sank back in italy has pedro let's go you kill my father throw him what's up the mccarthy ultimatum about the two weeks ago

potter me here not a beetle i know

so you're not like plot anymore i felt like i go back today the eager to block any in blue and black wheedlings interface subsidies are part right now we're talking to people who should be able to take a leg often peter over their head with his right she's still come back with a loving smile turning into an instrument like that of the thing that you fuckin trombone it you have a couple of plunging watch this video camera car holes in it i'm attorneys to a big flew your leg is playing and her leg i want you to play a leg i love and enhance my eye and seeing the back out using the course the yellow summary smug we'd all your leg wee wee what's goin on its pilfer and it's the monday morning parterres from monday

november second two thousand and nine can you believe that its november god worth year gone cheeses every year goes by faster i always do that job but that's what everybody says can you believe its november yes i can you know gave it away october that was the big hint that until november was comin up halloween i remember that i know it's on the thirty first so yes i can believe in yes yes it does go by quicker obviously goes by quickly think about it when you were a child you know if you have four years old if a year and by that was twenty five percent in your life yes so definitely dragged on plus you had two giants telling you what the fuck did do all day and what to eat right

when you forty one years old a year goes by that's like it's kind of math i can't do that is what is it one one eightieth of my life honey it's actually sunday night right now and i just settle down do the podcast who had the apartment to myself something can our right can bang on our nice our and all of a sudden the windows open and i hear somebody driving by listening to this saw this is how we do it fraud noise probable wove aboard my who the fuck wouldst that'll be listening to that music and lo and behold it's the woman i share my life with pulling in with it to a song that socked when it came up shit you listen station all the time wanna do roma zones or zoom in a bomb yes diversity is not all that shit you listen

upon many satellite radio signals in a really bad hair metal and economic fuck i was listening to you know smell like right now you smell that overpowering air freshener that you put in a fuckin car when you smell like it's it's i don't know what a smell it get away from me i did your park yes i can't be mt smells what is it what's the name of it what exotic fragrance ok one unrealistic with that think rather belongings and get out of the room see guises is are you hand alone they deliberately act moody nor do i see a comical way if i say if i'm holding a microphone with an orange fuckin windscreen you can't take it seriously you cannot take it seriously yeah i do i get away without i want to cause i'm runnin shit get out woman go make me you see which will make me sir which o beat it come on

i want to talk about hallway and how i thought we had the fucking the best shit on the block but yea fuckin assholes up the street back of near you need a walk so i can tell this story right you in your fragrance to get out of the room here for a second ok you smell tourists and ass i like it and china half an hour that's how you keep a fresh people it's the fights and under the making up and what not just do it because i was annoyed at thirty of the apartment of myself so i just decided to be a douche so go on douche bag of the week i pulled it out the last seconds anyways so for halloween those who you were a long time listeners porthos

now that i'm mom come into holloway i like it to embrace the holidays a couple years ago rather than just being like do they should fuckin bullshit it's just another court before can strategy gimme burma for money fine just said you know what fuck it so in a last year if you guys around my myspace page some sticking out there i have pictures of the pumpkin carved last carved in a cdc pumpkin that was this shit ok it was the shit and the sheer as like how do i stop this damn i was trying to think of the scariest thing i could think of to carve into up can and i ended up carving d the federalist of bank i know i'll go crazy i can still smell that fuckin fragrance it's over power whatever it is god it's awful jesus

smells like flowers and soap all at the same time in one of those things individually their good you know like brushing your teeth and orange juice but if you put them together i'm twenty was carved the federal reserve bank it's the fuckin shit i write go into my myspace page it got a picture of it now and then i fuckin me pumpkin bread afterwards and act i fuckin toasted this leads us like it native american you know after i killed the pumpkin i used all the parts look out the pumpkins achilles tendons i made a fuckin jump rope out of it you know out the window i saw some trash and i got ulterior i'd that's what i did but i just use the crying indian happy reference that was funny way back on visas one stand up spotlight decisively sanity all people out there the stand up spotlights when they would just

scraping the bottom of the barrel of anybody remotely left funny from the nineteen eighties have people on there were like substitute teachers they had shot in the back of it had come and also deal falconer razors made some our making money you know what i talk about anyway so now i do i have to federal reserve pumpkin because i figured you know anybody can try scare the kids you know who it tries to scare the parents that's what that's why i decided to curb the federal reserve bank it didn't fuck entreaty style it's the shit i'd flames behind it actually try to carve we own you in verse writing so it would come up against the wall but i failed just cause i don't have the tools all these assholes will make in these fuckin insane pumpkins half of these comments they go you gonna website you just buy something just trace it and it tells you what to do you a fucking third greater could do it

you know when you get all these all these little double edge knives and all this shit i it up i had a fuckin pairing knife the same knife i used to cut up an apple i in the federal reserve bank okay and i was gonna have we on you but that part fail but whatever so i had that and then i also had a full size candy bars you had your choice if you came to my house on halloween you had your fucking choice for her she bar without nuts god knows all these fuckin pussy kids are allergic to everything he can have almonds vs almonds it counter bag since his prose back and then it's just crazy until wednesday really lady did you ever think you should have died and not had a kid wow while that was mean sound i was trying to say that i was i was trying to save shown by natural selection there that yeah

whatever's in you was so fuckin week that your kid can't even have nuts in autonomy mean every everybody's allergic to getting fuckin stabbed but when you're like allergic i can't have food you be alive all these fuckin people always toasts intolerant fuckin people club get up the highways all you you should not be alive you're only alive cause jesus christ i really myself into a corner why bill why are they alive because a modern medicine they're just using you is a fuckin revenue stream whose kit knew i would have been dead a hundred years ago i would have it at a rupture dependent six gray that would happen if i would have been like a little house in a prairie just lie in their sweat not a fuckin fifty eight blankets and then outhouse now that they were sick you should just stick amanda blankets stud having at their forehead does this make it better no it doesn't

now it does it something inside of me exploded another poison is i haven't a party and dies we are back and shoot me like old yellow so anyways i got this fuckin insane fucking pumpkin right ok bacon can can can carbon some shit that doesn't exist little scare the fuck are you this action exist and is actually was actually fuckin everyone who was walking up the stairs oliver i am sure that my holy shit that's it right there the devil that is the fuckin devil i love their pumpkin it looks rate it saying something scaring the shit out of me it's working on all three levels it is a fuckin triple threat like like the way people used to be in business back in the day when they could sing they could dance and i could tell jokes so that punkahs pumpkin is you know

as you know it all that was what i was hoping they would think but they didn't adding one comment bodily carver building into a pumpkin and standards that are walmart good walmart fuckin scary you know summer camp the stairs who fuckin actually try to start a hardware store anyways so i find this fuckin at saint pumpkin are right have my fucking door all lit up and all that type of shit and i got full size fucking candy bars okay for all these cute little kids coming up all right but something this is going to be at work it's going to get out this dude's got and yet how he carved the library into a pumpkin and he's got who gives a fuck the guy's a aware nobody's get full size fuckin candy bars and the candy that we recognise coquette races peanut butter cups or fuckin are her she was it not her she were hershey milk chocolate cake was wall fuckin know what those are so you know is a weirdo its wrapped we understand there's no poison it's i'm thinking i'm gonna be the shit he's getting

the clamour around me like i'm fuckin dick clark and nineteen sixty five right but now i got fact because the people up to street they were they went all out this dude up the street his son and daughter his son fuck head that he is his son and his daughter put on a show like up like michael jackson they were doing a tribute to michael jackson and it was fun insane they had stage they have monitors it look like a fuckin rock show is gonna happen and they had a show like every twenty minutes or every half hour and a hope crowd would gather i didn't get to see it i was down the street with my full size candy bars and my fuckin new world order pumpkin go whether whereas everybody you know fuckin seven eleven year swear this my kitchen look like literally like i robbed a seven eleven and rather than taking the money i took all the candy out of it that's what the fuck it look like and i can't get a goddamn

i can't get anybody camp because everybody up to streak as these kids were killing you don't need went up there with their mom and i came back like again in his eyes and they even the car from the folk and whatever video very literally got blob bird i just wanted to focus slapped both of a united i was fuckin piss on i was literally reduced to yelling off of my balcony gone is but were walking to go up to go see michael jackson thing was go day we got care of pierre we got kids up here right think about the forty one year old white male yelling down children that he's got candy was really that's really bad but eventually i get got rid of all of it and i discovered a new pet peeve that i have not like trick traders who looked like their fuckin twenty six

you know who you are you two fuckin old it's not cute anymore you know you're a douche and the last group of people came up as was gonna rails better mustache than i could grow you know he didn't know mustache mean on zan if you two fuckin old knee was actually saying she fuckin hates them to what she wanted to have a bag of apples and when people came up and they would too old she wants to give him apples instead of candy like it's great and lemme get down the front yard they throw through you fucker window when are we just hand out baseball's but i understood what she was talking about you know the fuck is wrong with you how old are you ok you should be going to a halloween party trying to fucking somebody dress like it but toothpaste or whatever it is that's what you're supposed to be doing in ass was becoming to my door fucking gal was annoying i should add little bites eyes once

anyways so i should welcome my dog this morning and i was seeing all the candy wrappers on the ground in all affect kids couldn't wait till they got home and die and i don't have it all bite size none full size are the best candy on the fuckin block and i got trumped but his vegas show up the fuckin street really two hours just annoying now the shit out of me and i also when i walk walk my dog i actually i pick up litter because i think i live in a nice neighborhood i don't like what fuck and people throw shit on the ground so sit near picking some candy wrappers my god damn dog and came across a milky way that that bug me you know why

no why even give out candy if he given our milky way that such a fucking cop out it's like i can't i can't i can give a fuck about you're not milky way milky way is like it's like if on oats was a candy bar ebby you'd be a fuckin milky way that's what i'm trying to say if you know listen effect holland i'll shoot you don't get the joke eradicate it's something it newgate newgate is john out ok now we need some sort of needs something with it you don't mean it like andrew richly worrisome a famous do owes the broke off and one guy just holy fuck and made it and the the guy was the human conversion of of newgate with nothing in it do you think if anybody else i know again in sync austin timber lake what

the omens those other form other fuckers that's what they were when justin was in there it was a snickers bar you took him out as a milky way and nobody fucking gave a shit and i was the end of them that was a fucking and of them milky way you know you don't even try and now even fuck i false i'm fuckin katy bar and i was i was hanging out screen people trying to get him to come up to my fucking places pathetic little terrain pumpkin bread was the shit all right let's move on here let's talk about my life what i going on i'm trying to hype shit that i have gone on early in the podcast so here goes this week i'm gonna be at town hall in new york city the town hall the town hall theatre die i don't even know if there's any tickets left

but i just like saying and will be doing a theatre in new york city do you realize that you realise how huge that is for me in no way back in the day when i was a youngster with a big red afro wondering if i ever get on stage in new york city just do five fucking minutes that one clock in the morning you now there it is thirty eight years later i'm finally do a theatre norm actually really excited and i am doing my special next month do you know he's gonna be you know what basically if you go to that show you gonna see basically my special essentially so i got that going on and at last november sixth november seventh and what are we doing comics come home with dennis leary the fiftieth anniversary it's for the community care merely house that helps families of people stricken with cancer gizmo play to stay rather than sitting in some awful hospital that should get it

is home to stay and that's the one for cars that'll be gayness arena with view terriers play at i believe that only a few tickets left for that one thats what i gotta go and later on the mantelpiece tempi arizona really look afforded a gig and the rest you can go to bill bird i can't be you are for four radford date c and that's why don't hype shit in the middle because it's not funny it's not fuck and interesting and then what happens you like what the guys gonna riff about fucking candy bars and musicians i don't give a fuck about and they tell me where he's gonna be at me take eyes a story the other day decided you know i really need to get my ass it shapes i don't look like a fat fuck on tv during my special so i have problems with joint gems because i'm always on the road i have to freeze my mom ship and all i type a shit i just throw the money away so i've been working out outside basically in my apartment and then i do

cardio outside just like that fuckin guy with all matthew mokanna hey there you go you know i do keep my shirt on and i dont run down the street with fuckin palm tree leaves like i'm trying to fly in its eighty ninety eight i don't do that shit right but i definitely been goin on heights so i found this health out here and tat being a big football aunt em over how jerry rice used to run up this fuckin held here now to get in training the vienna fell season and i on the hill and i've been run up this fuckin thing in love in every minute of it and i went up to go do and i came home on my fuckin i couldn't find my keys like an asshole i left the my pocket open on my sweat pants and because i'm old and when i run down the hill i can't run down the hill i have to sort a gallop it's fuckin pathetic

and i was going really fast and i guess it kind of flew out a fucking rattlesnake took it i don't know what happened but i went back up there to try and find them and i don't have them and you well what's the big fuckin deal you know why don't you shit that i just fuckin not something out here what the hell just happen hello test want to i know you can hear this but i can't hear myself what the fuck is going on old on hello i know what's recording what the fuck is the problem line in that's good your phones that's fine hello test there we go i get it back sorry jesus christ here is my fuckin rooms get so goddamn hot i have to turn on the fuckin ceiling fair hang on a second i can't do this all once you know of any sort of class

edit that part out but i'm not going to sell anyways yes i lost my fuckin keys and like anyone any normal person about a normal fucking car i'll that's what i did i turn this thing down that's what happened there we go hello test want to while just he thought it couldn't get any worse this is white free folks this why it is fuckin free like one and banned here i should have liked symbols between my legs a fuckin ease was it to be a goddamn entertainer back in the day that that that that's what you could have ever seen one man ban guys that it's never good never fuckin good months on we dislike throw back to that shit they get some between their legs and a base drum behind their back greater turn the fan onto hyena blowing shut off my fuckin desk anyways yes so i can't find my keys and

you know the housekeeper no big deal but the problem was was it was also the key to my car and i drive a hybrid and its special fuckin key to special key people they could just give me a regular key we stick it in the door and shoved the ignition is like one of these he's waken haven't in your pocket you don't need to take it out and then you just fuck reach and touched the door and magically unlocks because sort of wave is coming out of the pocket going to the door lock bouncing back off and put in cancer into your testicles you know that's not basically doing i'm risking ball cancer so i don't have to fuckin unlock my or the conventional way but the bottom line is you one of your private wondered what bill how much does this pocket ball cancer fuckin car cheek

last year evidently it's between two two in three hundred bucks armor when i bought the car mature losers richard all losers because a closer to towards twenty four dollars support from above but sick and i hereby sounds like a fuckin rip off to me really that little plastic thing so now don't i went back up the hill and i try to find the fuckin thing and i couldn't once again europe up there in its actually really these these unbelievable houses i got em like rich people but like classy rich not like guy not jerry jones rich you don't mean classy tasteful rich it out and i was walking down the hill and i was looking for the keys and i came down and this is fucking olga is walk up the street and right as i was about to say hello to him in a rich people are so like they saw them just have the they have an inability to like just have

conversation it's like walking down the street he's coming up the hill he sees me like a hour you that's all i'm going to say he just this is what this is how he greeted me he just goes beautiful all afternoon i don't know what the fuck to say too that any set it that loud and it took him that like he drew out the words beautiful fall after new should it happened right after you said that you know in those the original monster movies of hollywood you know that organ they are one then the lightning strikes that's what the fuck should happen after that guy talked cycle well you just naming shit that you like like note socially when i was supposed to say after beautiful for after noon

a half off budweiser at a teddy bar what do you say to that the fact to say to the guy i just saw unawares yeah yeah is so nice one book with the fire it was like i was trying to think like we're question i could have housing is playing a board game in his head or he played the first notes so to a song as well namely that song tell me what is it it's called beautiful fall afternoon that's what it's called anyway so i walked back up there and i just kept saying to people urges you you have you see said a key and every like no i didn't but i find them i will and i had no one patient again and i was just like

just sort of stick em on iraq stick on a rock and maybe i'll come walkin vinyl fuck but i held out hope i was like you know what it's a park there's a lost and found i'll go there tomorrow when the last and found is open and i went there hoping against hope that for once in my life i lost something in public and but he actually returned it you know do remember that for back in the day when i lost myself on my girlfriend since i've been with her husband we lost three cell phones in every time she loses the cellphone all she does is call it she calls it and not only to somebody pick it up it is the greatest purse on the planet you know call up nothing may have then it was an answer the shit it's gone mine is always gone and then she calls no one offering something just pick it up hello warriors i do absolutely

come on over i'll give it to you i actually does make some cookies come on of give giving fresh cookies and your fuckin cell phone back because that's how your life works right i lose my mind back of a fuckin car he's fucking douche bag five and maybe the airport i realize it like a half hour later i know we still working and the phone is and its ringing in his pocket back seat in the current us an answer it so has been my experience i go over to the little ranger rick thing going are pleased that maybe this is the one time keep a positive attitude put it out to the universe i'm gonna get to one and all aesthetic he's back and of course i show up and there like now nobody his return any please you if you wanna check back later gig with a really really am i really gonna come back later you know i'm not gonna come back later suggest spare me the speech you right just go fuck it change the chance a fire sign out there what are you gonna fuckin do you like a man at the park ranger

because i ran with my am if fuckin sweat pants with the sides unzip like an asshole like a fuckin asshole aright last week i talked about this guy who i wanted to flattened his nose while i buy sent my fist although in the back of his fuckin cranium stopping just short of the famous and i was talking about fights and disarm when you get older you have to walk away from fights because there's no winning up there really isn't yet all its just like ok either a i get out of the car and i get live in shit kicked out of me right or be i win at that get sued right and they all do you get the the greater chance of the first one which is why don't ya what he thinks worse gettin a ship kicked out of you

can get sued as worse but as long as it depends on the level of ass kicking i don't to lose a tooth but you know if you want to beat me down i have a headache for three days that a deal with you fuckin taken my money so anyways so people sent me in some unbelievable stories about fights that either there walked away from or that they got into one of them is actually a case pending saw not allowed to talk about it so i basically i'll skim over it is bad sickly kid is walking down the street and three drunk i start given him shit he gives a shit back they give him some more shit any says i society guys a real tough with three none he would bite me one on one and this one it goes i'll fire so they square off they throw a few and they d the kedo was just part in all day the innocent kid connected hit the kid the kid falls down

hits the back of his head on the pavement he you now and he's not fuckin moving and the kids we fuck what i do so he's kind of walking away but is also concerned his big fuckin mistake was he actually gave a shit than the cops showed up he was still in sight he got falconer today rest am i can't remember all i know was in the end of it this this three of them and only want to him and he ended up get ensued and lost something about it pre emptive strike you fucking believe as i am sorry i was i supposed to let the one guy what the two other friends hit me a couple times and then i was supposed to punch back his fuckin unbelievable somebody you just so there's a lot of people going like i want to kick the shit out of this guy what should i do you know you should do is you just fuck and walk away

walk away and just forget about the whole fuckin thing and dont even tell yourself that lie there he'll get his he'll get his cause you know what they don't they get there you know what they do is they get paid in the face maybe in the worst case scenario is they when ten grand ah they don't they i've live long enough to realise that you know when the bad guy gets his in the movies that's what happens the rest of them go on live very successful lies of great looking girlfriends they paused raw sewage and drinking water and they find some other dictators the fall for it and then they by land in south america and they leave the country and they're fine they're fucking so you're better to just walk away some again some great advice saying that the use again to fight all the time this is so simple i never even thought of it he just body heavy bag and he would come

and he would just beat the shit out of the bag any felt way better and no law suits and then said days when he wanted a murder somebody he would take a baseball bat and just slam it into the heavy bag and he would he'll phenomenal afterwards and i i liked i wanted i want to go that that works i don't know i haven't saint temper i take it to the point if i want to feel that other guy quit that's how mad i am i want to beat the fuck are you i want you to back but i want to feel the moment where you fuckin quit in our house second that its automatic i just can't see that given that out with a fuckin heavy bag rights less read a couple of stores here these are very long this is a very passionate subject i'm so forgive me with my offer reading here goes our red a couple of these

here's his classic like this like anger that will come out of you twenty years from now he's a great story here bill i sympathise about the whole fighting it seems like any time some asshole decides to start shit with me it will and in a way that i can retaliate without they're getting arrested or suit literally what i was just talking about he got so anyways i was at a pack bar with some free the other night and we had gotten their about a half hour prior and i about one beer and me so i wasn't even remotely drunk i guess the places pack so anyways his eyes he says i am i was making my way through the crowd with pink glass and my hand try to navigate to the bathroom along the way some scrawny little cunt who apparently has way too much to drink back and to me and spills half my beer i make a habit

out of quickly saying excuse me and thank you whenever i walk through a crab because i figure people are more to let you through if you're plight about things this prick turns out and says is the guy who do bumps into him spills half as has been said this prick turns around says what the fuck is your problem knox my drink out of my hand jesus christ europe you will take a fuckin wrench too that guy's head these additives point one of his friends jumps i'm trying to break it up while the little bitch talk and shit so i tell him to go fuck himself it was going hot shit till the prick would throw a punch but just at that moment a guy standing next to swearing a blazer but with i'm kind of short sweater that was that wasn't but down tells me forcefully keep walkin at that moment i figured it was one of the bouncers pissed

over having lost a drink and being its melted i had to the bathroom my wonder that should have open closed so quickly that i didn't get a chance at any vindication when i got to the boy bathroom i noticed that the guy who i thought was a bouncer was it maybe he was maybe he was this little clowns bodyguard but i couldn't he didn't seem like one it is like one of his friends because the little kuhne and his friends were all dress the same way with designer rip genes and opened but down courts with necklaces and shit basically they all like they were members of some eighties rock band that was still torn but couldn't get but could only it gives a dive bar now my chance my choices are you ok now the bathroom it is now my choices are either walk back to my group without a beer or are the bitch move of telling one of the bouncers and seeing if i can get that prick tossed out

i could also go and confront them but even if i could take the bodyguard what kind of person goes to a bar dressed with that at hardly clothing with a bodyguard one alleges mishear sorry this is real fuckin long and i'm seeing double here fuck you just killed the whole story bill what is wrong with you confinement which my size i guess there good chances long he wasn't ammo may fire this was a new jersey mind you so i fuck concerning he was italian looking and had a girl that was way out of his league maybe use connected assemble shit like that maybe a little prick even had a gun or a knife honour because stupid shit like that is happening offing i didn't want to take any shift from but about to get shot over a beer anyways so what he ends up don't goes up walk back to my group that appear in hiding bad mood for the rest of the night one on one

with either one of those cuts i would have been fine and five eleven hundred ninety five pounds and mostly muscle and have never lost to fight you have only been in a few spare the rested a shit about me ask me why i came member i just i get a headache when i have to read that much say an army its and you think that little maybe that little fuck will get his because he so like i guess knocking around me i do what the fuck your problem that's sorry your average asshole in a bar but then slap at audio hand he's got that napoleon where he's got somethin approve i guess my question is what do you do with that anger what do you do with it fuck and anger anyway season about bill you were talking about this week about nearly getting into a fight with their dick in the green sudan while i admit that this was an anywhere close to me fighting it was still a can horror story while it happened here's one here that i ll leave you with a lot of anger

i was about six months into my stand of korean a friend of mine ass be due to do is show with him at this bar that paid him that pay would pay twenty dollars site because it would be my first page show the show and got a decent amano laughs i thought i did fuck and horror but they laughed and i'm not gonna complaint so he gets it is money the next day and walking on walking home from school and i'm cutting through the back the ball courts where a drug dealer i know will call him drug dealer number one is sitting there with one of his friends frenzy was sitting with kind of look like ghosts face killer buddy other stare of a potential rapist next thing i know i'm passing this guy and he stopped me he tells me that i'll give him my wallet which is visible which was visibly in my front pocket was gonna just stop me and take it he takes it in she's my lunch money luckily or i thought luckily i kept a special twenty and a different compartment

there's a lot of them will not a comedians do people who when they they set off on a dream the fur the amount of money they get it usually not a lot of money so they free the frame the czech or they save the dollar i bucks or the twenty swam imagining that this is what this young comic was trying to do so the twenty dollars in that in a different compartment i said well he rummaged through the entire wallet put back my lab library card the illiterate can't an eventual found the twenty dollar bill through the wall at my chest and asked me why i lied to him when he s me if i had any other money than any other money than the lunch money actually told the the guy mugging me the history of this hidden twenty dollar bill it goes as i just take that less sentence imagine my head slamming into the keyboard he says what of what a fag i was anyway mother fucker told me that if i told them a good joke maybe i'd get twenty dollars back

this is really your inexperience is a comedian because there's no joke you going to be able to tell so anyways here we go we said well i used to tell these awful one liners when i first because my self confidence would dwindle after ten to fifteen seconds so i stammered out stamp i knew this girl so stupid the only reason why she newer abc was because of hepatitis so there drug dealer he fake laughed like a fucking maniac straightened up into a serious face and was just like get the fuck out of here wow jesus that'll age you about fucking eight years anyways arrest of needless to say i took it like a bitch this story started never punch line in and of itself here's the kicker literally less than a week later after this incident this drug dealer frumps my school big black kid with a voice like mickey mouse it's a fucking spectacle

tells me that drug dealer number one stop hang out with the goes face kill a guy because he's an under cover fucking cop so this do get mugged by an undercover fucking cop so for all you for all your talk about getting screwed by corporations s the worst case of being deep dick by the man that's ever happened to me then i realized in retrospect that even though i lost the first remnants of what i hope be would be a successful career the losing first twenty dollars was well worth the story i still hope that cop is shot the line of duty and skull fucked by a gang of junkies see that that's the fuck and anger that is the anger modern all around me listeners i have at this point because i dont really height this fuckin thing and i never bring it up it shows are there any psychologists out there you know

college just like they know what to do with anger spoken sweater wearing douche bag just sitting there they are first you ever go to therapy fuck tell him shit just like well what do you think you think that what would happen if you would do something like that it's like a really is that's all you got rough digits basically get you to pour out all you shit and then use a sort of figure it out i was in us layers hypnotherapy for a while now obviously not can work it anyways plough ahead here tonight talk about this last week somebody sent me a year so we sent out so he said be a an email and was talking out my arm why there i hope this despite gas has been loud enough i think it is so we sent me an email talking about some new movie coming out and in the subject the thing

the line in the movie the line on the subject life said another save the black kid movie and it said from various groups on youtube i know you have some disdain for racist movies i was just wondering what you're feeling on the new one coming out with and a bullet called the blind side i guess it's about her helping so my black blanket aright first while this is what i love about this email but there's something i've learned instanter comedies you have you can't control how people process what you say ever done a bit about another about save a black kid movies the name of a bit was white people our evil movies that's what it is and i dont have obviously i've disdain for racist movies but like what the fuck me we are talking about in my last special that one about the black twenty

what the fuck was called poolside i can't ever remember what was called against the tide the fuck was that movie called whatever whatever their fuckin movie was called chlorine what was called to their jobs like fucking a year on stage because in a new move became a viable blots i came jug of my life but i have no memory but anyways that movie is not enough ample of a racist movie that's a movie about race and i've equally in all others just apply cashless and if so what the fuck you know i'm not really gonna give this guy she about tat but i've actually had people right reviews my act and so and was describing some of this stuff i talked to be talks about privacy men and women he does racist jokes he does bob bob i it's like i don't i do racial jokes

bout race oration jobs a movie about racism is a you could say i guess a racial movie or yeah you'd say that it's not racist a racist movie b i don't know what's a fuckin good example of it emma mississippi burning is not a racist movie it's a movie about racists but the movie itself is not racist race relations right my fucking mind here that what's that fuckin when we regional hollywood movies where they have dude dressed up in black face and then make a black people look stupid and that is the message of the movie then up i'm not doing a movie they're making fun of white people who do that or talking about white people who do that they are that is the message of the movie that black people are stupid that is

can racist movie see the difference what fuck is an aim that movie but fuck is even movie did you be able than eight i have no fire going to stop talking to myself when i'm going to know what i'm not doing them fuck my cell phone that's it it's over all right the fuck is an aim that movie alright but get it forget it i get a guy fuckin give up i have two fuckin now guys it's something if you can hear my voice this is actually something that's fucking scare me then i'm starting to my goddamn memory some ass she made a ah fuck is it ok now you know what with a fuck is it

i really should at all this out but i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it why am i saying everything twice you know why because i'm trying to find something that somebody sent me they sent me a nice little mp3 remit so the thing and i had it all cute up and i can't fucking find it you fuck it has well built you really are and ass all you fuckin worthless mrs why you have to fly out two fuckin omaha some point tell some jokes you know i last week i made fun of alma saint i wasn't gonna do a show in omaha and people were like it i said eventually i would do one but i was making fun of harmony fuckin airplanes i would have to take to get there and i go i've emails from people actually there is a direct flight burke and eager dignity a million and a fuckin cornfield you said a fuckin stay trot thought than their bill people in omaha don't talk like that i don't give a shit i know they don't

johnny carson was from nebraska wasn't he online remember about nebraska was when college gigs out there in dr halfway across the state and in you drive and across eighty which goes the length this east west his some that truckers you guys know this shit you know if you're on in and even numbered highway that means it goes east west interfered ani odd one that means it's north south did you know that i'll talk about highways so even hit me with a will reward brochures shut up not talkin roots i'm talking about highways is another thing if you're on if you're on a highway right let's just say it's ninety five and you don't have a map arrive in your and you see all of a sudden as a for ninety five or eighty to ninety five what that means is you are coming to the congested area during rush hour you can jump on the two ninety five of the four ninety five in old based

we eventually re hook up with the highway you're on ninety five and you can avoid the traffic and not add to it they did that one for truckers el aids to four or five you get the five goes right to the heart of delay the four or five what goes out around santa monica there's so many people it does make a difference out here because there are jammed right that's how much i know this fuck this homage roadwork i've done she get on the phone can eighty penny get about halfway across nebraska if you like you're going doing a college gig in the middle of the winter time so all the crops are cut down a right can't tell with a fuckin dirt ends in the sky begins its just all fuckin grey and all of a sudden i don't know where they liked his wooden bridge footbridge or some native american indian shit you know i just see only times i drove underneath that what the fuck it is ray

back to either flying out of lincoln are omaha tryin to get back to catch early flight and our it'll be drive like a maniac and every looking out to the right and they would literally be like a flock of geese in that v there the formation you know the one daffy duck was like fuck this i'm not goin snowflake don't bother me remember that one i beseech that shit i drove de i believe i drove eighty in wyoming and i saw a kind of antelope i don't know what the fuck was i had no idea the fuck it was decided species of animals that i didn't even know fuckin existed in this country so wendy i remember seventy i've drawer i've given that one all away from allay oliver right into new york city you get

we know about jersey than you gonna fuckin switch it up it's fuckin brutal then on oliver ninety ninety five i think what is thirty five go from houston right up to dallas in the fuckin insane some years later i be up and i'll be in in like i awoke gonads same fuckin i way that you take some fuckin houston alison goes right at the heart of this fuckin countries that fuckin interesting fuckin roadwork i was gonna be searching for the email and actually just lean back thinking about those fuckin days being out you know me terms i did coups bay oregon neglect three or four fuck it every time i went down there the goddamn seals whenever out they have this thing we could actually see the seals so themselves which was fuckin amazing to meet their point because i lived on the island than these coasts you know when the

to get a chance to see that you i just cannot i cannot find this fuckin thing i have to find you this this clip disperses send this mp3 he did a re mixed with song i'm trying to he'll time cause i can't fuckin find it a bill bill go fuck yourself read this ship and this is what these are the emails i get from you guys that's not it migration shithead bar fight story it's a mission now get me something else to talk about he got anything any questions is the one i it kills me that i had that i don't i don't have any collars because this is what the fuck happened i'm quitting after two more emails i haven't you know simon we worth it by time i find it isn't the pay off it's not can be worth it hated

fillies went on i please tell me they one i've never given a fuck about the phillies until now i just can't stomach can lakers and the yankees are going to win at this year and i mean jesus christ a fucking yankees what a team huh what a fucking team what a fuckin team era ramey clergy rather sad that guy jesus christ jesus we are coming up to the plate if you sign up for one year you actually they actually is splendid there no facial hair rule with him johnny damon's a little upset but you know he is the son of god fuckin counts enrich kuntz he called out accomplishment you wouldn't world series but could you got the most fuckin money there's no there's no skill in that there's no fuckin skill in that you fuck

peace is shit they actually have you know i can send a yankee face that she had the nerve to be nervous during the play us cut to the crowd like geez this hundred million guy can do it if he d and do it may be to share will do it you fuckin concentrated about the fucking yankees whoever beats them the year before where are the best guy is within two years he's on the team to share a minimal last year with the fuckin just now we are playing first base i've already about this ship who gives a fuck rises fuckin based bullion olive and actually doing i've been watching the innate shall network actually just watch think about the nineteen seventy nine montreal can the un's wanting the stanley cup you know the worst thing about watching the case when it's the stanley cup back then is you knew that there was can be some sort of heartbreaking boston bruins loss seventy nine i was too young to remember bites member people bitching about it we basically beat the canadians for games

the three and i would like a minute left they called how many men on the ice which is basically i'm trying to think of the fucking it's it's you know like one in football when somebody yeah kicks we call for a fair catch and you gotta like five yards you gotta give the guy five yards so we can catch it and our people make it all the time they never call it if the other defensive play gets into space that that's call and make an that call with one minute left to decide who goes to the stanley cup finals and then the fuckin fly in french fox ended up scorn gall and then they got the overtime go i was just fuckin annoying that was annoying to watch but beat the rangers so that made me feel good i think that's a guys i can't find this fuckin thing guy did a remix so that song debt that that data but up an appeal in hot hot hot

remixes let that me say it can't can't can't i thought was cute and i just for me i can't find it always better the fact i just saying it for you was that decent i give up that's it jesus christ what a fuckin hers podcast but you know what i did get it out monday morning i want to thank everybody i've been getting a tunnel emails where people are getting a letter postman who just walks around listening to my podcast as he delivers the male laughing like a maniac that's what everybody keeps let me they keep listening to them when they support to be doing their job and they just sitting there laughing like a fucking maniac so why another sounds a little fucked up the volume was messed up that's what you get that's what she so we sent me an email going like you know what i'm so pissed ellison open anti for while and i had no idea it's u podcast what the but this is what he said he said i ve been a fan for several years

due to your parents is on the open anthony show being o the lazy shit back that i am i ve never checked out your website till a week ago how is the podcast not mentioned on open anthony they actually they have mentioned it but he said that do they forbid that are something no they do not but i guess it's none of my business anyway but a pisses me off you been doing it this long two plus years and now just finding out about it i listen to the last three months a podcast will continue back until i have heard them all you're here funny guy and it's a shame this podcast is flying under the radar why i say this to you it is not a shame that its flyin under the radar i like that it is i dont hyper you find it you find it if you don't it's like fight club right except you don't have to be a bad ass first rule about the podcast is not the euro talk about it right you know the first rule is is that you don't take the podcast seriously that's what it is like this

guy tore me a new asshole about rugby because our shit non rugby his fuckin guy sends me this hole where a few weeks ago you made some disparaging remarks about rugby as compared to america football ever stop to think about how we look the illogical ludicrous used to call it football we need use your for he's giving jerry seinfeld shit memories you said something to the effect that those rugby pussies would be gettin wouldn't be not if re louis put a hit on you know i do stand by that statement but i know already answered you email before all you fuckin lamy comes over there fuck in england there is why shit on rugby was because the english cunt who me dot we shitting all over fucking american sports so obviously you're not going to treat me with respect i'm going to make fun of fucking rugby and your little booty short larry bird short shorts and ninety fuckin eighties and our every fuckin ten minutes you have to be

sickly stick your head up somebody a somebody else's ass as you guys tried to that elephant trick of kicking the ball out the back totally respect rugby think it's a fucking awesome game i've seen it on tv it is the shit and they have literally bone jarring lose your filling fuckin hits all the time i do think it's a great sport i do think people are but you know if you're gonna shit on american football i'm gonna shit all over your sports that's how it works please do not take podcast seriously i don't fucking reed i do it by i myself as you can tell what the different levels of volume this week i'm not organized right that's the one and only rule are right take it seriously and if you can member tell somebody and if not don't because i think this all of this thing stays the cooler it's gonna be name one fuckin thing that is blown up and in stayed at the same level of quality it doesn't it doesn't you know

you want i wanted to be like this i'm gonna fuckin i'll be down the foxhole you know five bypassing actually ever fuck and blew up and i'm i'm doing ran about saying unacceptable then these fuckin the council will figure that's what we're saying we're saying on acceptable then game plan is over and then what i'm doing here is fuckin useless right while did i go off in a fantasy there where this became the biggest fuckin radio show ever i think i just did you know that happens when you sit here by yourself you let your dreams leak out and then pay make funny you and then you feel silly right that's a calls for this week that was a fucking mess a right it was a fucking mess up i think a kind of got back on the rails afterwards but it was a man because of our own european first came alisha sell those fuckin rednecks they'd race in the mood member that they turn their tracks

into these are what the fuck were but they were they raced the mug did get bogged down that's what the fuck was i was at rednecks it in a tractor in them our colleague to explain that its socked like you didn't fuckin notice that's it all you guys have a great fuckin weak and that's it that's support as for this week and i ve taught myself do corner once again because i usually end with have a great weak that's what i usually say and then i continue talking and now here i m down and fuckin word again how's everything that could actually keep talking because in their commercial where they got the fuckin there to help you out of that financial you know all these people in financial difficulties fact that's what i was gonna talk about god dammit no one's listening at this point i wonder woman waste this story went to the supermarket ok

an i dont use those little savvy save cards that they have vieira little baby save card and i will say now would you like no i wouldn't you now present cigarette you don't as a free fuckin survey member that shit's they can figure out what you can't live without so they can jack of the price of that food and then give you like the nickel lawful like their version of cod flakes so i went in there okay and they asked me if i had to sit and their little safeguard i said no and he said you want when i said no and lego ok i'll just punching a code anyways so she punches in a cold and i get money off anyways so it's like they even figured out a way to figure out what i'm fucked in buying evil what i'm saying go fuck yourself to the same thing the only way to get around it at this point i want to try it next i was on a walking with cash and just have cash and see what the fuck they do you know did it to me today may see someone out there and i bought and i'm towels about some beer glasses that's what i may cease

they said you you have macy's card i said no i don't give you twenty five percent off every do she thing about i said that ok because it's all right i'll give the discount anyway than she types in this fuckin code i don't know but they're up to i really don't know what you're up to but i know they don't sit around trying to make less money is buddy know what the fuck that's about that is your homework for this week if you still listened if you listen far you fuckin your job and you to get a new one i write down hurt anybody at work i debts

now don't everybody out a good week of funding

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