hey what's going on it's billboards and it's time for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast just check in on you and to see how do we go and euro spoken thursday man your knees caused so much lunchtime but and this comes out of big lunchtime what are you gonna get you gonna go i'll get something heavy are you going to start the weekend right get some healthy bring the stomach down a little bit you fill little more comfortable right little more confident you out to the clubs do but down short you belly pressing against it right be ice do a bit my aqua you're buttons are doing like the iron cross hang it on both sides the shirt like you don't need that

make life a little less wisest fuckin thing only on one god damn channel oh i'll figure it out that's it set up the elevator only goes to the fourth floor it's where i am right now with my anger no more go to the penthouse ok downsized my anger life move down do a floor that i feel is just a little more affordable and everybody can relax around me is is i'd i dont have any time i think that that's something i feel like tat triggers me billion billy no time gone on billy nor tankers no my wife knows i don't have any time yeah every time what does she do the fuck was it was it yelling just set off one of my kids toys i like that sound effects why don't i just yo see if i can make

but you're not gonna he's got this one friggin toy fuck you fuckin crazy i like it causes all these different musical instruments and teaches the kids about it but i swear to god the guy's energy it's like www aims and charles and charging always like charles the same things like the rug burping rock bourbon work four instruments that's a troop body rules i don't want to hear you played an instrument we europe fuck and wound up like that constipated fuckin sound coming out here instrument miles it is turn around giving you that look on the bandstand it's a little bit bob and wrong bob and rock his skin bobo is that a trumpet right you're gonna live and they are not a musical guy vacuum goddamn comedian

speaking of which i want to thank madison square garden for in rome rose garden for having me on the garden dreams and this is really great charity where they basically you know underprivileged kids kids who a second all that they got a dream and come out they make it they make it come true it was really nice it was funny as i was doing the the press there i was doing the ass an arm was wasn't always fuck with i always have a great time attempt but well ladies and lives like do you know what this do you know this charity is about you don't i just seen some kid you know in a wheelchair cannot walk or whatever you say do you know what this charities forest isaac now now adopt neither somebody off like an asshole but the reason why said that because i really didn't feel like talking about it won't you kid it's just it affects you like you have something to apply it to work

forest like oh my god it's bad for than others like i've felt the whole good thing the pair the whole thing tell us about the charity because through the emotion of it now i won't be i don't know what it is its madison square garden they asked me to come on you're twenty weeks ago and i do the show king monster lineup of of comics everybody fuckin killed fortunately i went on during the middle seinfeld eta closer john stewart when on a second last and michael shake jesus christ he came in fuckin murdered came from personnel facilities jacket on this work on stage fuckin martyrs leaves fuckin joke assassin worse was on it john milady

fuckin murdering lies a lesson germ murdered brian regan brain was how big the show brien regan opened oh fuck it amazing the show was so i was happy germany got somebody i know i did i know there was more than that wealth was on it come on bill think out of our station river hosted the thing or the crew guys miles away garden whose name was i'm yours go we are going through the bowels of the place going over to the theatre madison square garden where eddie murphy recorded raw i always think about that when i was there and went on there and we were going through we had to go up the elevator and they had all the order was senators like hockey bags they will load them anchors arranges were plan playing than the next night and lo and behold the next back in my leg is like i got up at four a m to get back to my lovely wife and kid

do as a dad because it's not about you any more than that how do you think you're gonna get some sleep there dead don't think so take your time i got on the fucking plain back here and i am that watching like appeared and half of the game in law behold they cut to the got to some highlights from the garden got it didn't show the show thank christ i was a little rusty i'm not going to lie to you i didn't know i'd much stand up by after i did the did my special i was like i'm will take some time for me you know for my feet up and just sort of justice what was that fuckin word those kinds of people use that we group allow myself to just realign my finances

no i just don't feel it gone out or anything and i was i was fuckin dear wiped out and out like a fighter that didn't spar you know just be latvia and i'm the champ i get the belt right i just are you not molest set was my my state of special fucking knocked out refer can share bobby all right they're fred the second i walked out this meandered a little bit the beginning then i gotta go in oh my god had this fuckin hilarious moment my set were united can further michelle obama because how do you not you know remained the level that she's been gassed up to she's the president's wife everybody relax that was basically my angle see no you know you know fuckin in all the women are gonna fuck and lose their minds especially

women who also don't have jobs you know they get you know who are items water rich people there right so how is your house pushing their buttons you mean only fairness the audience i was being a cunt and i was saying you know how bein a first ladies that a job ok we're all excitement spots that job right in the air those yet so i keep set off that toy so i say just so you know i can't see into the crowd rights are just look into the blackness like that hence row voice that i just heard you are giving us a german yeah man i was do me a favor you tell me how the that's a job and the woman goes first of all it sir turned out it was a dude right

so that immediately you feel like this fuckin post me to tension in a gender neutral bathroom all is fuckin energy and i just went like well you know i tell you guys pitched voice you sound like a woman i you know something i was really not enjoying this time and i realise that this is one of the greatest times ever to be a fuckin comedian the amount of fund that you can have then there was not you know you sound like a woman and the irrawaddy nowadays this or what is a woman sound like you know what a woman sounds like you know what a guy sounds like you know the base for good thing i hate when people do that that would have during the oj trial guy said it sounded like a black eye in areas like what is a black eyes you know what is an irish guy sound like what is a german guy was a french guy sound like these accidents

not said everybody sounds like that you know living but if you made a black guy going like high a topic monetary i found a charity you'd be like this guy is fuckin with me but because its trial somebody's fires although you have take into consideration that this might be the anomaly now i understand that but this that somebody saying you know that sounded like an asian dude that this in like fucking i don't know clannish about that i guess there could be speaker that were at one time i was in san francisco right visit the bans houses and i got into a cab this asian dude was driving he had the he sounded like he was on fuckin he ha

so there is always an exception i swear to god straight up asian dude and he was just go man obtained is traffic our air ridiculous and i'm look the dubious is this guy fucking with me i alone you're gonna be out in san francisco and i always just like dude i gotta ask where the fuck are you from any laugh he's a man i grew up and turned to see i know it's fucked up ear metallic unlocked is both where i grew up everybody dead started telling me how we did all this extra work and how he was an extra cleaning clint eastwood when those dirty harry movies is phone number not bags when i was back on opie and anthony i was like oh my god we got to get this guy on the show so there is an exception but i mean it's up but this also that's not a reason to kids called now you ve been cancelled

you sound latino just exactly what does that mean that i take a time i was going to charlie murphy's funeral and i buy by a pact hasty you know what i mean cuz you never know when someone's going to pass away all of a sudden like shit we got to go so i and i forgot to pack my underwear is there so where i was staying in new york was had become the gay part of town right cuz it didn't used to be gay used to be fucking shady and then all the gay guys moved it and then you know what happens all the sudden this nice restaurants there's a night life this fucking mood lighting it's awesome right right across the street where i was stay was this clothing store and i'm not gonna lie to you you know in the fucking windows they definitely had like the them again with the leather underwear and the hat but i mean i had to go but i saw they had others fuckin tee shirts in there

so i went in there trying to find some underwear i figured that was just like an i'll write that dog collar gimp i'll rights i go into this place and i'm trying to find unaware at all they got the fuck am i finally find an underwear cut then i can wear to a funeral alright rather than weren t gregg lou gayness goes to brazil fuckin cut right so finally find the cut and then on on i know i've told this story before but there's always knew listeners right on the way spanned it said nasty pig you know in the funeral either that the services like fuckin ninety minutes away it's out jersey and in time is becoming issue so i walk up to the counter and theirs dude stand in their talk in the press by the registering kind interrupted excuse i don't mean interrupt i go do you have any like like mainstream underwear that's what i said

you have any mainstream underwear and the guy got offended he's like define mainstream i just stayed in the pocket as i i don't know it it doesn't say nasty pig on on on the waistband and then he had nothing he was trying to do that like to try to make me out to be like homophobic fucking come onto my wife off the road with underwear that says nasty pig on it honey i swear to god i go to a funeral i i need some underwear there the pledge that right also to gus grissom of fuckin underwear anyways so that an appeal a lot of fun when i finished my set and i said dag you god bless everybody

cloning you sir with your high pitched voice i guess i was a bit of a cut but so last night right now on it i really did not like tat feeling of unlike rusty or whatever so mean look rusty hey never rusty jones hello goodbye rest rest jones glue by rusty cause still make a living doing that jingles aids could songs a paper he's about issues of epp where a pebble would you like to be a paper do be a pepper dragged out the paper bag house in hollywood hills hall by the pool cocaine on the piano stays are all gone then the second you make it somebody takes it on the internet than they do a mash up right what the fuck

the coca cola song i don't fuck it works anymore there was a job when i was grown up because you have not yet have a party that there would be somebody at your house one guy was a milk man and another person wrote jingles for commercials that was always somebody in actuaries decides and everybody up trying to figure out when you're gonna die there is already a twenty two pounds of await forest my vision estimates closing it is a second helping of cream of spillage can't be good for the arteries winning when i say that guy's gonna turn out around fifty seven the dangers age when i was grown up fifty seven that's when you were in the red zone of having a heart attack fifty seven fuckin sixty three sixty a lot of guys dropped at sixty one but you didn't seem like a big deal when i was like five six you know four

was born unlike the nineteenth and early nineteen hundreds he had a great run right like i was alive when babe ruth this was in shape when we all of a sudden you fifty stared down barrel of fifty one in june oh my god oh my god i was i want to go to the airport right like pick up ten fives what it actually was right and i get to the airport like five thirty crews right out the fucking jfk all right i got my got my ticket on my cell phone i'm a modern man i'm not check bag some little bottom mr technology so preach t say right i fucking go through that shit and i got my ticket and i just fucking i got you put my phone down a thing and i i set it down on the thing and i out of my cell phone case i got i got this cluster pictures of of me and my lovely daughter right so i set it down and you know there's a woman there so you know they can't resist a kid she sees introduced goes

i use it she a beauty and she goes just goes to such a granddaughter ah their herds and i laughed i said now it's my daughter i go i got a late start and i just limped through fuckin security i had such a fucking spring in my step and mike i haven't boast thirty days right mice in clearing up i'm drinking falcons movies i'm looking younger than dead my years in sheets mike she just said she sent me she falcons strap me in and on top of the rocket just shot me right back to the reality of my fuckin age man man that kill me fuckin kill me i'm a lady thought i'd tell this story than have a joke at the end of it but all i have is just the raw motion of that that really fuckin hurt

you know said see you go ladys there there's a pressure this is dear mamma when you a bald red headed mail granted but the reality is i am i am or they may find a kid at twenty five michael becoming up on twenty six and if my kid etiquette about the same time i did then fuck it i would i would be old enough to be a grandfather say so gotta get matter i'm not gonna write tee say dot com and be like i was so triggered when somebody's stated a fact about my age you know what i'm gonna take it and we're do good work but what i want to talk about it i got so much not so much shit i got a couple emails from these fuckin f once snobs because talking about how rooting for ferrari like rearing for the kansas city chiefs and was painting them is an underdog now even though

clearly stated that i just started watching like fuckin three four years ago ferrari has not been doing well its second place did dear you're the first loser so what i said was accurate commissioner talk down his father who looks like a grandfather talking down to me this person who has difficulty reading out loud talking down to me the hero of this podcast greatest person on this podcast right now is me not because i am the voice it's because i'm the only one who votes not given me shit like i didn't understand that ferrari is i know what a ferrari is you fuckin morons everybody knows what a ferrari is i know their history i actually read of i read this book called the limit about the first if one american f one champion

one of the great fuckin books i ever read i wish i didn't give it away i give away the books absolutely fucking love that book and i understand i understand ok i know where it set i'm just saying the last couple of years i mean ever since i've been watching this sport since like two thousand and fifteen two thousand and sixteen whatever the fuck i started it spend mercedes i am get sick of a you know the same way you guys are sick of the patriots i would like to see ferrari make a run although since then i did see that new guy john what's his face there than the other drivers not can we reckon the new guy driver ferraris like a man you know why i guess we got lucky that the safety car came out in israel positive about it and that me that gave me some hope it gave me some hope by the way we can have a fucking benefit for fuck daniel ricardo yet

boys doing stand up benefits i want to do a stand up benefit to get that guy fucking team that can give him a car that's going to be able to finish the fucking race that poor bastard swear to god if they take the smile away from that man you know that's gets really going to be a difficult fuckin thing to watch so me so young so full of life twinkle in his eye how many folks times can you just be drive and crushing it and all of a sudden your car just shut off you know for some reason somebody puts a model in the goddamn grass not to get side swipe when you go over just a content on the grass in front of your car fuck it explodes i don't get it fuckin snake bitch snake bitch snake bit sorry now so i finally i saw the they take us if i saw the i saw them jp from argentina

i got a lot of questions are right so take a second green smoothie green smoothly guys wanna go recipe for smoothly grandson here it is cup ice copper arm and milk sorry holding a quarter cup ice copper armand milk a banana a cup of spillage a cup of all that i mean i'm a cup a tablespoonful of all natural honey to take spoke of instant oatmeal and one tablespoonful of arm and butter just try to get all natural everything this is how i do it i put the the ice the arm and milk spanish in first and then maybe like some of the honey

because what happens as you know the way you do it like sometimes it can turn it's like a shake up this too much ice but does not in my face and then i blame that then i put the paint the banana in their first and then it in the yard the peanut but not the oats and then the peanut butter whatever in that way it stay on top of the banana and it doesnt sink all away fuckin down because it's it's really the peanut butter on the honey it's gonna stick down to the bottom and won't be part of the fuckin mix so however i just said that put the honey in where i said that flip the oats in the honey and then mix it up that way and you should be glad you'd like to use to separate mixed drink that fucker drink your breakfast be a champion be like a dad looks like a grandfather clock kill me you know i swear to god just for men

she gave a shit about men with red beards i would have gone out bought some like if they were selling it on the plane and i would have been quite we crying to myself as i come into my chin our right here question about the modal jp i know what the fuck is with mark mark as his fuckin motorcycle where it's just that they even call that you might just take off and this could be a boring race and then the guy quickly correct himself not saying there's gonna be what that guy just fucking you got a good start and he got out front and here fuck and fifteen second lead by the middle eraser something some crazy i don't understand why spike is so much faster i thought the difficulties that do caddies we're unlike the same level but just pulled away like you know he had the irish sea and everybody else said the rally sport berlin eta you know

the firebird versus to transact i've it's the eggs opposite f one so then the whole fuckin raised the exciting part of the race was watching the video so in nam valentino rossi battling for second place with the mark marquez was so far out into the front that day just had him in a little square in the upper right hand side of the my computer screen here while we just everybody else battle and i don't understand what happened or halo renzo did he pushed the wrong button because he's also dr right now honda and then they were all bitching the video so in as little aerodynamic thing that cooled off his back tire they thought tat was a ridiculous advantage and then the very next re solves on this guy you know mark has just takes off editing which he also still as i think cool in his back time i guess they should have done because they were so busy fuckin with each other trying

pass each other racing they should have done is just accepted that diversity also wasn't second they all got in behind each other like the palace on and as i said in grazing and eventually they would cut through the wind and catch up with the guy and then what they caught up with them then it could be like our let's start racing again is that legal to do that to actually become a team to catch them fucking guy was already eight seconds in front of you turn up and then lastly cow crutch low he got fact on that race you get fucked around he had an incredible fucking start to the naked eye he didn't start too soon and the fact that this god damn computer now like was brains are not as good as a fucking computer kids that thing so he doesn't always cheney just started got a good fuckin start aid are mainly fuck that guy home they fucked him

all right so they go this does my little motorcycle talking about to reach some advertising and then i'm gonna wrap this fuckin podcast up and i gotta get out of my my busy day here all right i'll ever go back out do me andy's me andy's belly is all then gray doo doo doo doo beyond these me andy's that's what the lady say you have a beautiful fuckin granddaughter that's not my granddaughter right nothin rhymes with daughter to fork and all to make its i'm fuckin word so many gimme a jury generally tool in some soft fucking under where's hey buzzfeed said this about me undies they feel like actual heaven against your skin we're going to assume heaven is really soft in this context what don't you hey buddy buzzfeed or are they just review should ask men why is it that a nice magazine i'd like to be ass things feel can being heard

men said they feel like silk drenched in hand lotion ross silk drenching him like i know hand lotion makes your hands soft and i know look a soft such combined both those but you also york off with lotion and if you too if you put that on the fabric now the fabric is wet and it's gonna be stick to your balls this is why don't ask me thanks these countries are so soft they make barbarossa voice sound like gilbert godfrey they are so soft kenny gee thanks them to get inspired to write his next saw uncanny g taken at their what can i do beyond these uses the coveted micro modal modal fabric that is full three times softer than cotton take that cotton your big puffy oh yeah collins also white to you favour toxicity fair patriarchal cunt speaking

prince why not match your bottom half with your better half and get a matching prince for you and your partner me unease is also do they have like underwear for alternative couples lifestyles says nasty pig on one in says nasty pig to on the other one me unease is also the go to for the softest lounge where on this side of the mississippi hang in their super comfy lounge pants and ones these yes me andy's makes one zis and their incredible beyond these has a great offer from my listeners for any first time purchases when you order me andy's you get fifteen percent off and free shipping this is no brain or get fifteen percent off comfortable underway as you will put on to get your fifteen percent off your first pair free shipping at opposite says i should guarantee go to me undies dot com slash per that's me undies dotcom slack

or m e u n d i e s it's like the me to thing except says undies take me on these put your box everybody here we go butcher barks delivers healthy why percent grass fed grass finnish beef free range organic chicken and heritage breed pork guy see napalm gutsy special yet the tennessee kid fucking a guy's absolutely brilliant he has a great bit on free range chickens versus the one the data that we're not freed arrange about on netflix streaming now look at that it's an ad within an hour the incredible quality a butcher box meet start with the commitment to raising animals humanely and free of antibiotics and hormones cook with them of my knowing you are eating healthy high quality meat each comes at least eight to eleven pounds of meat which is in

retorted for individual size males appears city slicker but if you some big fastball rabbits back that turn up here for you can choose from five different boxes all beef ladies beef and chicken beef and pork mixed box for progress people custom ox lets you choose your own cuts that's for the conservative you know that's the people who want to keep their meat separate what's the molly take these they are the irish presidency rates my favorite kind of meat is their heritage breed pork and i can have a fuckin recipe i was at the airport there oh grant father bur here grandpapa and i was there was i was basically showing how you can make all these meals and just one pot you know what i mean you know those great fucking things that comfort food that's going to make you fucking blow up i got a good one for pork chops that i'm going to

this weekend i can't wait i really am like a grandfather i'm excited about cooking pork chops this might be boxes offering the unlimited breakfast breakfast bundle what is this this includes two packages of bacon in two parts the breakfast sausages for free in europe where's box our bacon the best bacon you ve ever had its head thirty approved are you not tell me what the thirty people run in the bacon world uncheered nitrate and sugar free the sausage is a healthy authentic version of a classic style pork sausage my mouth is watering like literally reading this simply season with salt and pepper and sage oh my god what start the day tat i would start crying looking across the table what's the matter honey

right now new members will get two packages of bacon two pounds of breakfast sausage added to your first box for free plus you twenty dollars off your first box go now while supplies last as is a limb time offer these people know how to do it right you want americans to buy your beef you dangle free bacon and sausage in their fuckin face in you set a time just christ the amount of fuckin you know it's all you know the amount of funds people in overalls right now that our like half hard listening to this overall so like the ones you for rednecks you know that's when they know that they grew up you got no sleeves and my body you don't know you fuckin with i ain't got no slaves or are afraid on my ones these i walk outside my ones that's how i do it

all right that's the plot cast everybody please enjoyed the they musical interlude and then there's gonna be a hat another half hour bonus here of a thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast greatest head an episode from earlier so i need mentioned last night so i went out i did two sets that's right because i like feelin rusty and i am i got this new chuck and it came last night and i had a great set in seven brian cowen probably said some the nicest shit anyway said maybe as as a comedian i think he's absolutely fuckin brilliant so i'm actually gonna call him today and thank him for the compliment put me on a stand up high you know which in the age than i am

i've even i got called the grandfather nice and i haven't a r p card and i still never fucking used it ok if your young and you don't know what it is that steps also enjoy the party your life were you dont know what an eight hour you hear qualified yet from one of those pointed thanks are right that's the poor cast enjoy the music have a great weekend you can't and i will allow c on monday murder huh

what's goin on its goal parts the monday morning podcast for monday april fourth two thousand and eleven or twentieth have it as i sought so simply put this weekend by the great comedian pat knows well that's how he said ass she was stage i was doing to show them the cavern and being ape foolishness show i noticed at some point the gibson anti theatre by the way formerly known as the universal amply theatre for blues brother fans you might recognize that name right member that good evening ladies and gentlemen welcome to the universal amphitheatre here it is something

i've been going on nineteen eighty five so much and music here today is pre programmed what scientists were that's where the fuck they did their opening for steve martin at the height of steve martens career when we had the white suit with the bow and arrow gonna throw it so that's the second year in a row i've got to do that wonderful programme show performance whatever the fuck you call it and it was an awesome native comedy but there was something learnt in all the filth and finery than i saw that night was patten said twenty eleven so that's all i'm saying it for the rest of you because i can't say two thousand and five the slowdown two thousand and eleven two thousand eleven zero together twenty eleven all of a sudden everybody in the room relaxes a war with a friend we thought that that red headed guy was was zena whose left handed some of the times was a spot of the devil

that's what they used to think about redheads and people who wrote with their left hand so basically i would if it was still the eighteen hundred zone would be getting a shit slapped army and one of those fuckin schools you know that they used to have a little house in the prairie we had grades to through eight were all sitting in the same room tell me there was an inappropriate behaviour going on there you know you're a senior in high school right all of a sudden the freshmen girls come in there is always one pervert your great would descend on to someone who is basically a fuckin child at that point you can't tell me back in the day in the eighteen hundreds when people got me fourteen so they could pull together this showing so they could go by a fuckin plot of land in some oxen ah you tell some even greater wasn't rolling up on a fourth greater oh like some catholic fuckin press arming static idea debating it speak in a witch

you know what for some reason the theme delivered surely in my head today wigand do it articulates above my head before we once in a while tv that i watched way too much back in the day pops into my head but anyways getting back to the the catholic church think somebody sent me a little bible thing so the dinosaurs are called behemoths in the bible and about space aliens ships spaceships abductions talks talked about in a z keel one and these are from in the king jane bible now after all these years a trash in the bible i've ever met you guys that i haven't even read the fuckin thing all right i've tried to read that birds all he said it under eu with them the fact paul and asians said to the persians emmy i can't i can't get through it

it's like trying to restrict shakespeare but as far as i remember going to church day said dead of earth was created in six days on the seventh day god rested and i raided adam and eve where they were naw they were in eden hang out right then all of a sudden it also lays down some rules he says hey listen you guys you're in paradise i don't want you to go over there and eat an apple offer that fuckin tree you know is that so goddamn hard to not eat a piece of fruit who gives a shit it's fruit no one wants to eat from people eat fruit or kids whose parents are making a medium ok vegetarians and some fifty year old wall street gouges suffered its third heart attack then maybe you'll have a fucking apple so he doesn't die but other than that how easy is it not you need an apple right but eve this stupid fuck

in horror that she is you know you're not going to tell me a k i cant do somethin because she's a broad and you can't puncher in the face what she have to worry about who the fuck is this god guy tell me i can't go to have an apple so what does she do she she's right over there with the pubic care blown in the fuckin when causes no shame at this point has this been no sin everything's great you can walk around ago petty cheetah it doesn't immediately or a leopard it doesn't immediately grab you by the throat fuckin snap your neck and drag you up a tree so the lions can't twitter somebody else maybe a fuckin babylon you know what that psycho goddamn teeth data let one of the water the fuckin major raw adversary

or a leopard as a fuckin baboons i never knew that shit they got those giant teeth who wouldn't know you're very agile left or right sort of movement like a water bug please say things but hey let's get back to the bible as far as i remember it right so they go see you know walking up to them fuck an apple tree like some one of those victoria's secret whores walking down the first fuckin runway although she's not wearing heels she just walk in and she never steps on a brok does step on some glass from a broken miller light bottle does she paradise walks right over there and of snakes starts yeah that's what happened some snake starts yap in any area right like some do shown facebook hoof and your wife and her semi hot pictures starts emailing our right worm in his way into the relationship right so there

poor goes up and what did she do she reaches up and she takes a bite of fruit sheets and apple far as i've been told part of this nutritious breakfast part of a balanced diet cheats fuckin apple maybe she wanted to be regular right so sheets the apple and god knows what the bitch what the fuck did i too i am the one thing i say to do and you gotta go do it go fuck yourself that's the under paradise in exile you know she's putting a leaf over a fuckin clam the atoms over there he didn't do ship and evidently he gets punish too because its religion you know the punishment never has to make sense it just has to be really fuckin scary so now they're both fucked

the sudden the leopards wanna fuck and take a bite out there ass though they gotta get sharp sticks and all his type shit right the according to the bible all others that happened like fuckin a couple hundred thousand years ago and then one day some nerd is not getting pussy he so fuckin hard up he just starts taken in the ground yet always got all that sexual frustration just keeps dig it in the ground a one day fancies dinosaur bonds that away fuckin older and the adam and eve story so kind of kills the whole goddamn thing though that as far as i know it story in the bible how the bible goes down and that's why people on the side side question the bible

like i said i haven't read it all right so people who read it can you give me the cheat notes are you bible thumper is out there we think the bible is the best book ever fuckin written side from the fact that when it was written they still thought the fuckin world was flat they thought if you were gay you dig you go to hell and all that other intolerant shit in there but you know i never read the fucking thing so you know let me know cause this guy's trying to reclaim trying to claim trying to claim that they they address dinosaurs in the bible calling them behemoths witches maize in considering we never discovered the falcon bout until after the book was written so how does that work was that when god was burning bush then all the fish was coming out of the basket then he just sort of muttered something about behemoths and nobody understood it but it was god so they just wrote it down any ways is that what you're going to claim

yah g hooker in their world on with her tits what did i want to talk about this week about the brutes bruins making the falcon playoffs i'm predicting the ro as will once again make it to the eastern comforts finals add there now than what's gonna happen i'll say what's gonna happen is that i've gotta go any further rough i'm just gonna say that cause hopefully though prove me wrong who knows we got a great golly you're scaring me as fuck and carry price up in montreal husband plain fantastic aright

for some reason when the brutes have a great golly it only gets us so far but those sons of bitches up there with can dryden patrick why back and fuckin ninety three when they went on that implausible run one like nineteen overtime gains one of the great runs it winning the stanley cup of all fuckin time who knows that and i think the flowers were beaten the flowers have a similar problem with the canadians

they don't give a fuck right they just get a punch in the face anyways alias this shit you know something what happened we twice this week is people just they dont here what the fuck up saying this is the classic thing when you don't stand up carmody stand on staging you tell a budget jokes and everybody lapse everybody's haven't just a great time and then all of a sudden you come around to a subject that touches little close to somebody's life and all the son you not tell jokes anymore now you're making statements lo and behold once again this happened centre of you guys are we this but my let it go special is now upon netflix the young edited version the version that i wanted the world to see but that dream was crushed because on comedy central they have advertisers and that's how they make their money which i respect so then you know that

cut out some jokes they gotta start doing the morse code because i say fuck every other word than yadda yadda yadda now it's on netflix now it's on netflix and you can watch that son of a bitch completely on edited so please tell your friends please tell you famine tell some your enemies so anyway so somebody some woman evidently watch this watch my special i stand up comedy special the one where i go on and act like an ass an i'm telling jokes just to make you laugh just a fucking appease my ego that's all i'm doing so anyways this lady he starts off she says offended by your stay at home on bed she starts off high obviously i must stay at home mom why is that obvious because you said your offended by my stay at home

why couldn't you be just a supporter of state our moms about being a cunt right out of the gate let's read this she starts up high obviously i'm a stay at home and i love watching stand up but i couldn't continue watching you based on your boy about stay at home bombs you know i love about it it's an hour long special and i think i opened with that joke or it was literally within the first five minutes and she had to shut it off she's as i'm really sorry you feel that way about stay at home moms that's one of my pet thieves is someone's about ready to take the path sodomy i hate when they apologize ok you're not sorry you're not sorry that i feel that way you're fucking hate me because i feel that way right stop apologizing got my voices crack and stop apologizing right anyway she goes and above all if it weren't

for us there would be no one to drill holes and to do the other important jobs that you mentioned all right if it weren't for you what are you just fuckin meditate you make a parson you self centered fuckin whore kid you believe she does the credit for the creation of babies one hundred percent credit what about the guy who fuckin sticks it anyway i'm getting close what about that part of it there wasn't summers harry sweaty man pounded away it's your fuckin womanhood to completion i might add a number of times during the course of a month to month possibly three month if you got it all you ve got some sort of issue down there for some

using your yet there that i don't know what the fuck i never try to do it but i know we're having a difficult time we're trying to get pregnant but we're having a difficult time it's not the fuckin part is the impregnation part she just totally taking away all of that that evidently did she just sits there and all of a sudden she's pregnant kind of like tat chicken the bible hang out with that fuckin hippy bomb joseph right he's sitting over in the corner with his vaporize your hey me and i noticed she looks like your point nor way me and you got a live off the red oh it's man right now son she spoke in practice evidently this broad she second full credit for credit forgetting pregnant completely ignore

during the man's part of it you are getting close that's that's the noise i make one eye climax by the way i make you i i announced the female and a real high pitched voice solar wind voice and getting blouse and then i put my mouth next year and i gotta talk down in my world some of the most sophomore cubic humor i ve ever done right now there's a bunch of guys laughing and there's a bunch of females with their knows all recall that this this is when you listen to pieces by you think it's funny yes pitch this is what i think finally what you go back out the kitchen and finish make a potato salad are right the fort the jail i come up i made no sense

and if it weren't for us there would be no one drilling holes into all the other important jobs that you mentioned i didn't say they were important i didn't say those jobs were important you didn't even listen to the bit let me continue reading here i said opera said that being a mother is the most if a cult job on the planet if she said it's the most important job i would agree with her but she said was the most difficult job that's that right there was the seat of the bit that i created ok just like you creating the fuckin kid but i don't feel like i created the joke on my own it took opera to say tat to plant to see vice by saying that it was the most difficult job on the planet are right that was climb axing into my joke pussy that's disgusting anyways

so now i think everybody's wriggling their nose so here we go so she continues after not even hearing what i'm and she said and the reason you stay in your pyjamas all day there was a line i said talking about women it's because you don't have one minute to change try taking a shower and putting on on coal and close on work with children screaming and lying at the shower door it's twenty four seven it never stops you don't click a time card you never get off work it's twenty four seven you have absolutely no idea until you're in it made a lot of money in my career before mother her motherhood i earned my mba and other degrees i've lived and worked abroad motherhood is the artist job i've ever done i've never said it's i've never said it's not the hardest job that you ve ever done ok all right but i'm what

tibet that you ve never done a job harder than working on a fuckin oil rig in the middle of the ocean aright sweetheart being a mom is not more difficult than working on an oil rig in the middle of the fucking ocean how about that guy out there we worked on one and it's fuckin blew up he's got second degree burns on his back gonna turn into third degree burns today's eventually going to exploded the flames so was only option is to jump basically the equivalent of a three story building he jumps off it with his rob the back into these salt water of the ocean also now covered in oil he's cover an oil with second degree by in salt water ok he could barely fuckin breathe fucking ocean is catching on far because of the oil that's on the surface of the water he has to swim out of that

out into the ocean but not yet far away because he wants to get rescue now gotta sit there treading water hoping he doesn't get eaten alive by sharks or drown or dial i don't know what else while he waits for the coastguard to come and pick him up now you tell me all the mothers out there what you explain to me a day that was more difficult than that and now that all this woman is doing is talking about the negative aspects of being a mother she's not talking about how rewarding it is you don't get unconditional love from a fuckin oil rig it's not going to be sitting there richard deathbed holding your fuckin hand telling you that you know oil rig is everything it is today because of you as a person gimme a fuckin break out and also you made the choice to become a mother by letting that guy

get on top of you gettin cloud right typical fuckin broad giovanni an idea she going to which it continued to joke is so offensive at so totally wrong it's disgusting another thing this is precious time to me in the evening i didn't ask you to email me good lord what a fantasy this is a mother look at her work and with the guilt this is precious time to me in the evening you are watching a stand up special that was take a whole pocket our they shouted up seven minutes into it that gives your next of fifty four minutes the right to paragraphs this

a foolish shit so anyway it's not you trying to make me feel guilty like i'm taken away from her pocket day another thing this is precious time to me an evening when i can be taking a shower reed or watches show in recharge for next day wait a minute you just told me that being a mom was a twenty four seven job it never stop jobs it never ends here you are chill out wanted take a shower reed or watch you show in recharge for the next day this crisis because i'm maybe later tonight when one of my children get up i'm not on facebook i don't waste any time on the computer and i don't complain about things but this was so offensive that i made time for this email oh thank you thank you for taking time out of your day you're unbelievably twenty seven day and you just had to say something than this is this is awesome

this is how she answered email she says very disappointed jamie i shall never name names of cases what i love about this this woman is obviously gonna be a great man ok she's dedicated to it she's walked away from her and be a career and all that type of shit so she can focus on a career ok but what you can see here is the resentment this already building because she's already throwing out guilt on to everybody that's what i love about mothers are right no one told you to become a mother you made that fuckin choice and now you actually have like resentment for you fucking job and you start you put it on your kids i could tell you already put it on your kids because you trying to put it on me you try to make me feel guilty that you took the time to send me a fucking i've emu i didn't ask you to send me a fucking email and then you ended with very disappointed like i'm looking for your approval say you

already get your god complex because you're fucking kids are looking at you like you know every gun a man around the planet which should don't jesus christ so that their there you go you got people there it is in a nutshell that's what it's like to be a stand up comedian you make one fucking joke ok about an overstatement that someone said that being a mothers the most difficult job on the planet so what does that that makes me think about all this the jobs digging for call yet out being present at the united states and haven't its staff decide that we're gonna go to war and then you gotta laid a bed good lay in bed knowing that a bunch of people are now going to die babies women you know eighteen to twenty one years fucking people who signed up right out i've got them high school to be in the army marines navy you

you gotta make that you gotta lay in bed try and get fuckin eight hours sleep with that shit weighing on your head you know that that was a joke it's not the most difficult job planet if you set its most important i would agree with that are i said i was arguing that it wasn't the most difficult ok and this is what happens people they don't hear what you say and then they go off on another ten tangent like this other fuckin can't this is a guy right this guy what the fuck did he talk where the hell is it jesus bill jesus look what you did you just slow the whole fucking thing down oh i disagree he said beloved podcast but i disagree with you and the whole music downloading thing most of my music that i've that i have is not bought for good reason first of all the last two cities i bought brand new from the store skipped in multiple seed

players right out of the box secondly artists only get about five to ten percent five ten cents c d which in the grand scheme of things doesn't add up to much compared to the money they get from tee shirts and gigs they don't get me wrong the p that just download thousands of cities worth of stuff and never noticed shows there the deuce bags i try to go with least five shows a year wow and i got a lollapalooza chicago once every three years so am i a lucid eu built now you're not a loser you're just stealing music you steal and fuck and music are you trying to shine it all up like hey man the artist make any fuckin money you bought two it is from the store they skip the multiple places don't you can go to itunes and you can download music in a digital form and that doesn't skip are right you try to justify the fact that

steel thousands and thousands of dollars worth the fuckin music and then you spent you know a couple hundred bucks on cancer tickets and t shirts and shit and then and there you go i didn't steal a hundred per cent for you i completely disagree with the item saying you're a loser i'm saying you're a thief you're stealing and you know you stealing a right i'm not a musician dude i bought cities i bought those things i know they start escaped but if i buy my fuckin upload amano my my computer but i i do all in my shit through itunes but i don't i don't steal music and what did steal it i addressed the fact that i was stealing music i wasn't saying that i wasn't part of the fuckin problem back in the day when it first came out my eyes fuckin dropped out of my head to free music i want to lie more and i downloaded a couple hundred fuckin socks but in the end when people per day the argument do just stale and i could get around

i was i guess you're right i'm so i stopped so not saying better than you and i'm not saying your fuckin loser what i'm saying is you steal fuckin music however you frame it and go into a couple a concerts doesn't make up for the fact that you stole the music you know it's like cancer tickets costs money psychic concert chick was free made a donation you still something out of your money you got a t shirt you gotta fuckin concert ticket so you you're acting those monies make up for the fact that you stole music like you didn't anything out of the art of out of the constitution and put down money for teacher you gonna fuckin rock show hip hop show whatever the fuck you went to and you got a t shirt that doesn't make up for the fact that you stole the fuckin music it doesn't know right so like a certain monseigneur lose fuck this i'm on my goddamn high horse here let's get to

the rated overrated here people a topic that i thought was dying that i'm actually pleased to say is is making a comeback all before i do that i mentioned a few weeks ago that the short film sheep that me giotto rosa robber kelly wrote enacted in and joe de rossa did a phenomenal job directing this movie a short film we got it into the tri back a film festival which is one of biggest film festivals out there's right up there with sundance and all that type of stuff and i wanted to give you guys screening times if you're actually in the new york area and you they come down and support our film we would love to see down there we're gonna try to hang out just as it is many screenings as we possibly can there's a couple of him that were not allowed to go to just because there's gonna be three there and they want to review the film and you know we can't be breathing down the next make an uncomfortable so

are the screening times saturday april twenty third at seven p m is the first screening of course i dont have where the screening on such a fuckin idiot i'll give you this maybe i'll just tell you one of the other saturday at seven p m wednesday at five thirty p m that's april twenty seventh and saturday april thirtieth at four p m and so they may first at seven thirty p m i believe i'm calling in the european anthony show this week i believe thursday this week

two rosa bobby kelly you're gonna beyond their we're going to have all the recipe information so am i what an idiot i am why am i such a fuckin more and you know it go to the import gas dot com will it will have the actual as the official fan page by the way and he gets all the shit right of such a fucking more i was so excited to tell you guys all attack the shit and what did i do what did i do i thought the whole thing up right fill it dear that silence the podcast he's just screech to a grinding halt in its own upset my fault i underrated over it for this week i underrated disguises ice cream sandwiches they are made from the chief

this ice cream and a crappy is cookies but they are fucking delicious and i can eat like five i share the debate with near on this one i thought he was lily talk about ice cream sounds but she saw him because he said cookies emu means those ones they have like the chocolate chip cookies and with that jet that generic ice cream in the middle it's basically you know the feeling that they put in hot dogs at sea ice cream version of that and he said he can eat like five and i am right there with you i'm right there with you i think i can t i think i can eat six but i would get sick but i can eat five just like you and i would not be sick and my body at no point would be acting like what i was doing was incorrect until about fifteen minutes later when i suddenly would have to take a nap never eat really bad food you have to take a nap yet all sleepy or his black people call it the items you get the item

i told you that story a long time ago dinner i'll tell tee again the fuck i got an hour to kill here i know i've got some new listeners a day when i was on the chapelle show tour and it was me charlie murphy donald rawlins who played ashy larry we went up two thousand for mid two thousand foreign toward eyesight i stayed on a torch all about the end of february two thousand five and these guys used to break my balls up my shirt saw my clothes and all that type of shit back she turned into a bit when i did my half our special that whole bit them what this motherfucker why has five shirts that came from hanging out those guys doing talent shows back in the day

drew frazier and all those guys rob stapleton who was whether under i used to do capone's rooms all those things when i used it jumped back and forth between the black rooms white rooms mainstream rooms uptown rooms as they used to call but anyways so these guys used to you now face just give me shit no type of stuff so we had gone out drinkin or i'd gone i reckon i was brutally fuckin hung over and i just didn't want to listen to their shit and we'll drive

from chicago up to vernon hills to do why design is up there and it was a good hour and a half drive i don't know what but seem like five hours and i could tell that they would just gonna be fuckin on my shit because i was really hung over so what i did was i asked the do i somehow i care i walked out to try to get some fresh air and i saw that there was a popeye's chicken like fuckin two blocks up so i ran up there and got like a fuckin i don't know a seventeen piece of that shit with biscuits in all that shit we will leave and right around eleven and we go and we get in the fuckin limo to go up there and i bring a guy's got us some food ed i want peace and watch them devour like another five six pieces a couple of biscuits right and they were already given me shit and within fuck in fifteen minutes they were fuckin sound asleep

and i just sat there with a smile on my face with some of that you see food my stomach but not enough to make me fall asleep just enough to fill comfort comforted right and i had my glasses on a cruise dollar we cruiser following up there and they slept the whole fuckin way is one of the brilliant moves am i stand up career so anyways i'll speak into that shit i'm actually get myself integrate shape here you want to know how i ve been doing it well i don't give a fuck gonna tell you anyway i imagine it back in the day i gotta juicer like most things you know when you get something new you're all about it

you're all about it for like i don't know what right a week to week maybe a month and then one day you just blow it off you just fuckin blow it often and it starts gathering dust and then every once in a while you did you just look at whatever you bought your ipad you fuckin that are no what you whatever gadget your head is just over the collecting dust aegis here i feel like i used to be so fuckin into that thing you know it's gonna like a relationship you don't you made some hot girl you telling your french daughters were lies for projects of ever bear move you she's got like the perfect hates you ever do that you start described in a body to all your fuckin animal guy friends and then all of a sudden it turns

to our relationship yourself and now it's your girlfriend and now you know i describe it tends to my friends or the fuckin crazy things she didn't bed you know about what happened you totally into a bang bang bang in and then just one day you don't even notice it is not an toward anymore now and then one day you walk and by and he looked in asia pussy just gathering dust like you fuckin laser display and you're wondering what the fuck happened in ireland at the moment we realize if you what the right person and not because if you decide that you're gonna work at the relationship and get the sparks going again you with the right person but if you just look at it like a fuckin old vcr sides time to move on i think so i always get back to the juice or everybody so the juicer evidently

is my fucking gadgets soulmate because i looked at it now get the sad go and you know what i got a fucking i gotta get to sink back in my life i got a fine were worth waiting lose the magic so i went to their health foods still and i went in there like a little fucking you know vague i fucking go in there right are you know it's funny this decision place right around the corner from where i live cells that cocoanut water that i absolutely love that i drank joe rogan shop and that they told me they got on amazon dot com and i ordered and on amazon dot com you know me i'm totally fuckin i got the oecd that go wherever i went get into should i get into ship and it was like twenty seven bucks to get like like twelve are these things

so was already expensive and then you know if if you now you just do five to six business days who gives a fuck they charge you like three bucks but i would like now i want that shit two days so my shipping cost was as much as the goddamn price of the cocoanut why pit like forty bucks for twelve of them and then i go down the street when out when i reintroduce myself to my juicer gone hey baby let's do you know what happened to us man let's watch a movie tonight right i go over the falconer vegetable place are you not their creepy little analogy just reminded me of a guess is some fuckin show out there were people are in love with inanimate objects like they actually like fuck offence or a bridge but they wanna like mary the eiffel tower

can somebody please tell me what that show is i really want to watch that because i saw that one that was fatal fail attractions where people have wild animals that they try to turn to try to turn into were they try to turn it on hats that those people would just so fuckin stupid of me that i could watch the show but i ain't appear in that that show is good because they get if they get into this psychology of of why somebody that all ice when i saw that guy with the buffalo walkin around his house and every time he walked by m that buffalo woods slam into the wall they look like way gretzky gettin fuckin checked by any sort of fuckin almost ice hockey player you just be like this he would walk by now she just play and she just plain issue so fuckin stupid i could watch it so if anybody could tell me

the name of that shows where people are like in love with like a door in i'll do it how much alone time are you spending me i haven't heard that in jail why in solitary confinement he get love with the walls i bet you do at some point at some point you just you just from just lack of human contact you know that man brain kicks in we get visually stimulated you gotta get visually stimulated by something and they would just be like i bet it's like at some point during the day when the sun starts going down right in the shadow of just hit the wall a certain way ages there you are there you wise sweet little naughty naughty piece of plaster where you been for the last twenty three hours

shall i wanna hear that's fucking repeat actually somebody's probably a jail or has been a jails gonna be all actually when you saw jerry confinement did no sunlight right whatever whatever the fuck it is you're fucked the floor

el dago aids is that any prison book i think i had my low point when i was consistently fucking the floor artless continue one hears when it was i got my juicer back in my life s what the fuck i'm trying to tell you so i go to the goddamn health food stores right at unesco about going to healthy food stores even though the aisles are really skinning much skinnier than one of the year grocery stores those fuckin you know people who actually eat healthy are there just waif human beings they do yoga little wispy lilith billions dogs little with its they just like them in a walking up and down the eyes with their fuckin tail between their legs trying to pick out zucchini so i'm going in there right suddenly feeling like i'm on roy

because i look so much bigger ass foolish it there was a couple diesel such people are never whatever so i go in there i pick out all this fuckin fruits and vegetables deduce that i've been start my day people start my day i fuckin juice then i go get my fucking people we go for a walk we go for a hike for like an hour i come back and then i have a bull oatmeal was with some a handful raises throat and that's how i start my date it's been fuckin great for me i'm trying to preach do you people i'm not trying to be a fuckin breakfast nazi but that's what i realise with me this is how i get out of work is if i start my day either with i can't even just say toasting expert if i if i throw the bacon in their then it's really extra salty then i got a throw little jam on my toasty now to try to level myself off just like a fuckin coquette drinking alcohol to bring me down a little bit

you know i got the sought the salts making me sleepy so put the jolly on the toast to bring me back up right there amount of fuckin whack or fire french toast or anything you put sir upon them my sugar goes through the roof mixing in our grasp and a handful of fuckin potato chips you don't work an hour later and then like for the rest of the day my blood sugar out or know what it is probably looks like a year when you what are those things whether that the hiding sonogram what the fuck you call it a telegraph what you call it good thing in all went well when you when you're lay there in the hospital and there they look at your house right that's what that's what it looks like salt sugar salt sugar that's what i do for the rest of the fox day near the end of the day i take a big piece of cake and shovel right down my fuckin pie home that's my day gradually my white doorways stomach starts to hang over my belt and then i hate me

self then they start lashing out of people in the crowd so day ago that's what's been workin for me ah so why won't you guys gave a shot if you want to if you don't give a fuck oh by the way hundreds seventy days without booze an axe you fucked it up yesterday i out barbecue yesterday and i accidentally twice had to sip of beer okay so technically in my world my streak is still going because it was an accident but i've i've had both within the last twenty four hours this is this is what i've noticed what is really fascinating about the human brain i didn't realize this till i went to stockholm sweden when i did that gig over them if i told you that story and i went over there and everybody you know and i forgot tat you know i didn't speak a word of swedish and everyone's got high and rising cause your violence and i was on the fucking the comedian

find me who is speaking english backstage went out there did his whole acted swedish was killing she tried to re recharging are georgie dodging the crowds like and i'm freaking out going to even gonna fuckin understand me this is what i learned when i was in sweden was i took for granted how much i don't read when i'm in the states because you just like i think when you look at stop saying you don't read stop you just you just visually looking at it and i didn't realize that shit until i went over to sweden and the amount of extra thinking that i had to do where i would be looking at like a car and just be like ok at a taxi yours at a police car you know right i'd have to look at his storefront and just sort of trader because i can't read the word it's in swedish like ninety seven fuckin letters i that's just really sit there

looking as close as there is in food and there's at what the fuck is that that's what happened to me at the party eye opener frigid later door and i saw this green can and i immediately quaid it with soda and ice and in my brain told me it was a sprite now it was seven up and right next door it was a red and white can so easily i actually think i was just read so my world that was coke so i reach for the coke opened up took a sip of it thinking i was drinking coca cola and it was a mexican here i drank it not even wrecking arose aware tasting territorial like ice tina looked down at reading it you don't i actually i'm just looking for coke look at all over the world and finally i see beer unlike is is tat i just like a beer as i thought there goes my god damned streak of course nea laughed at me so then

i go over and grab what i thought was a sprite was actually seven up i started draken that and then later the penal to party grabbed the wrong thing once again i thought i was drinking coke and i reach overnight grabbed another think now the fuckin swagger so i want you guys to know if my streak over while you attics out there what does that mean if you give you do that if you a do you have to turn in your ship and start all over again and go up there and cry at the podium because she actually had a sip of beer do i get any credit but the fact that that i opened the bare took the separate the baron just said i thought this is and i thought this was coca to bear i just said it i didn't have any more anybody can you help me out here this is what i wished to collars i'm glad and i'll take college because i think college really slow down the fuckin show you know half of them african prank phone calls and then have to pee

will it just takes him to god damn long plus i like talk it all right you have noticed the fact that i rarely have a guest on the shore i could somehow keep it going for a fuck an hour you know that's not an amazing ability that's that is an incredible personality flaw all right more underrated overrated unpaid in turn ships overrated i graduated from knowledge less than a year ago and i've been looking for a job in my area of studies for more than a year with no success dude my heart goes out to these fuckin kid just get knocked out of college right now in the one of the worst economies ever it just fuck it

did you say already overcharged you for your fuckin education and these goddamned bankers screwed the whole fuckin economy up and it was plowing had he says while looking for a job i encountered numerous agencies that offer internships but no but none for pay it seems how is it legal by the way you don't pay him anything it seems like many places take advantage of the bad economy and the desperate job seekers to lure them into doing work for free unfortunately one of them did what kind of a fuckin scumbag this what you know i wanna go undercover into corporate amerika i wanted i want to see how that goes down how that an out like is it just like the mob way like age not fork impersonal its business you know well of you if you check out the market what the market will bear now is

advantageous if you're the employer to allow us to take advantage of human resources an offer them a negative cash flow contract however they can t over they never just come out and say let's take advantage of the future and pay them absolutely nothing so we can we can drive we can put rims on r r r flashy fuckin cars i'm anyway she says what do these agencies offer an exchange expire riots building a your resume making connections with other employees promises of hiring after a short period and other bull shit like that he says fuck that capital letters you mention and joe romans podcast how comedian should not offer their material for free in exchange for exposure and i completely

ray these unpaid internships that are so popular right now need to stop a more efficient than some of my full time coworkers at my internships which are not a surprise await which are not a surprise are part of a workers union and i worked because my bed reading skills i got totally confused with his people this is he says and i work there are only two days out of the week that wasn't funny it would be said to his basically saying in those two days he does more work than the people who are members of the union you know that's something that unions have to address here is all about unions but you know just because now have the power to and on a shovel doesn't mean you should and that's what's really fucked over unions unions a great idea and people died had their heads kicked in shot at by our own fuckin army one guys like

andrew carnegie had the connections to bring their men like you did there and took the fuckin so the alleghany out there in pittsburgh aware of the fucker was that that's now i'm all right needed those union so we could avoid sweat shops the sweatshop labour conditions that existed in this country that what happened aside from the map the mob taken for those things what happens is guys use the union's the power of unions as a way to get over fuckin paid and not to bust harassed at work more so than they became the exact fuckin thing that they will rebelling against i understand why corporations move their their fuckin companies out of this country i also understand why that there had to be unions have you know this is what it always comes down to his people a people rich people are the only reddy fox assholes out there you know middle class and poor people if you put him in a position where they can be greedy

sad thing is most people will take advantage situation this is not these these are not unique theory sis is the overall theory harsh theory that most people learn when they could when they get out of their house and they get into the real you realize that most people accounts this very few good people out there poor middle class or fuck enrich this very few people that allow if we do the right thing so i one hundred percent agree with that it would be in speaking of unions it would be great if you could somehow start one you don't you need to do is you need to get everybody on the same page say listen we're not saying you gotta give us all of us but this fuckin workin for free is ridiculous

the other totally taken advantage of you because of the market but i guess if it's a good market you guys can take advantage of them i don't know man it's just i don't know who the fuck knows but i definitely that this is something wrong with having kids work for fuckin free right and i will say to people who were in unions which i am one hundred supported in support of you motherfuckers need to work harder and you'll have a better you'll have a better public image now my saint everybody in unions don't you know they all of em lean on shovels but you know why you got that reputation ok i'm irish i know we got why we got the reputation for being a bunch of drug motherfuckers because so many of us are

or at least enough of us got so fuckin drunk that we completely wiped out any sort of good irishman out there all right so there you go another one documentaries underrated in the last few months i become a big fan of documentaries especially by four are our corrupted economy are fucked culture and our diet dying planet and environment i have to say these films put a really great picture as far as our civilization josiana that's why gonna stop watching him i just try to do the right thing in my i for fight if i watched you many those really depress the shit out of me the present is already look bad and i do not see a way we can dig ourselves out of this whole that we ve created i just understand why people dismiss these types of films are they trying to avoid the painful truth absolutely i just said i was are they in denial absolute there are ways of solutions to fix it but his lungs we have a democratic verse republicans white first blacks versus first hispanics coal and oil

energy verse clean energy and most importantly fucking paper money in stock markets nothing's going to change their this guy this is it this is the exact conclusion that i came to although i don't agree that a lot of the clean energy they say clean energy like as much as i drive a hybrid which israel scam it's only an electric car when it's going five miles an hour under other than that is just an underpowered gas car but it does burn clean and it does get great gas mileage but you know electric cars and those batteries eventually have to dispose of those and those things wreak havoc basically human beings in general wreak havoc on the environment so i think the solution is you have to have some sort of population control

and they should do it sooner rather than later because if they did it sooner we could avoid some sort of stalin ask slash hitler solution because that's what the fuck they're gonna do i think the problem with human beings is we treat global problems the same way which a college kid treats doing a term paper we do it the night before member wide uk we knew that shit was common and ended up being a fuckin problem but everybody panicked and the final two months they were talking about it for ten years that we're going to have this possibly have this fucking problem and we waited until the last fuckin second and i think that the population problems gonna be the same thing the prompt this too many fuckin people this note there's nothing wrong with chopping down trees there's nothing wrong with using coal there's nothing wrong with dr and a big car there's nothing wrong with any of that the problem is that the seven billion people on the fucking planet that book at that

problem are right we need to get that number way the fact down way the fuck down i would say under a billion under a billion people you needed that so i think that you should just implement laws the amount of people the kids you can have and i also think that you know you should offer people money if they not have kids adopt kids recycle i think that should do all of that type of stuff while they try to have cleaner burning cars and that type a shit just gradually let people kind of die off you know that that's what i feel you know cause if you don't do that then eventually

i think that's we're going to run out of food run out of clean water and you going to have the rich in their gated communities and they're going to be guarded by the blackwater people that it's going to be shooting out the rest of us and they're fucking heads in our heads that's what i think's going to happen personally you know if mother nature does this first are right that was uplifting our let's get to let's get you advice for the weak built a year and a half ago without a year and a half ago me in this

that are used to work with were hanging out a lot and fooling around all summer very nice it was pretty casual day ago that's how you set it up it's pretty casual wonderful i think it's just the art is trying to keep it there and as i told you before what that is its this did the time between you hooking up ok when you keep it a casual in that type of shit if you want to hang out have drinks that's fine but when you get back to your place you do the deed nets it she's gotta go you can hang out watch a movie that's when they start get feelings it's not fair to the female you know that's what you're gonna do don't call while the fuckin time you gotta keep it fuck and casual our continuing which is kind of hard to do when you work with them but anyway she goes was pretty casual that was only because we both knew i had to even august so we made a point to not get too sir serious beautiful the summer ended i had to go back to school

i'm sorry situation kind ended but we stayed in touch than real this last spring break break i went home for ten days let her know i was gonna be in town she said that that had to hang out but only friends because she had a boyfriend which i was fine with our i do now if i haven't read this one yet but i gotta tell you right here don't hang out with their more than once right this is what you should do in that situation she's got a boyfriend it's over i write so she wants to hang out hang out in a public place and at the end of the night you say you gotta go don't bring up sex don't fuckin do anything like what you used to do she's got a boyfriend he gonna walk away from that situation not to mention if you do to your just hang out at any moment her boyfriend could walk and even get the fucking glad to the side of the fuckin head anyways so

or stay i was there she came over my house to hang out ok that's it that's a red flag right there she's got a boyfriend you come to town she immediately drops her boyfriend come saying i with you after a half hour of that awkward catching up conversation we went up to my room the watch a movie oh jesus once the movie started she made sure to drive home the fact that i should make a move water because she's with someone else yes he right here do she's playing with your dick she said happening around making it go up in that she's going eight we gotta take it easy and then it goes back down get she's fuckin with you she fuckin with she's plainly doubt game from the european anthony show with your dick if you guys have seeing that yet up telling you looked at up on you took the opium anthony up a delegate it's one of the most genius bits of ever seeing fuckin hilarious anyways

i completely disregarded this said she tells you yeah yeah yeah i'm gonna go back here i reacted to drop my commentary here when i just read the rest here so the movie star tat she drives on the point that they shouldn't yet he should make a move honour because she's she's with somebody so he says i completely disregard this and i put my arm around her anyways ten minutes into the movie you know what i respect that move by the way ten minutes into the movie where in a fallen cuddle and she's doing that shit what she's running her finger up and down my arm then out of nowhere she flips and climes on top of me with that fuck me looking arise due this is a great story she even she's even knowing that precepts slightly heavy breathing dude i haven't

this i'm tellin you she's gonna pull the emergency issue this is the richer prior bit where they witty dick is hard enough to cut diamonds i believe us how richard put it or mr prior may have some fuckin respect here saying richard like another guy she drops and to start kissing me but stops an inch from my mouth and stays there for a second or two then she climbs off and goes back to cuddling ah you know i do you are young you didn't know any better but if you are older you said yourself up for this after recollecting myself i started to say something but this can i started talking she flipped over indebted again but for a bit longer this time this time i asked her what the fuck she was doing and she giggled can't you do right there may use is the thing

you gotta take charge of the situation you gotta tell you dick to stand down be like look either we're gonna do this so we're not going to do this i actually think at that point you should adjust bounced or rather their and rubbed one out that's the power move right there man that's the move that's gonna make you feel better than if even fuck because she's still gonna get something out of it she got to get leg right so fuck that you should a kicked around right down to spend it you know what this was a bad idea shut this you have to go you should be doing this you have a boyfriend see you flip around you put the guilt on her she leaves you fuckin rob worn out right then you don't give a shit that you didn't back and then you fucking go out to the local watering hole you now you gotta run into some chick you want to fuck in high school with your little all very little more manly get to scrap go in and you fuckin tag her in fact this girl she is can't she has a boyfriend she should be doing the ship i write books tell you whether how was i

this time no she stage did it for about four full thirty seconds always who so we back to coddling for the next five minutes and told she did it for a third time this time though she stayed there for about thirty seconds and she wouldn't put and she would pull back every time i actually kiss her so that she kept the inch between us once she got off she started that giggling again which by then had gone cue to annoying as hell and then slipped her shoes on and said he had to go see doubt if you charge and one of those you could about her out we didn't hang out again after that and now i'm back in miami i guess my quest is what should i have done i guess already answered it and what the fuck was she doing any answer would be great or even grant about those annoying teasing counts thanks well you know dude i haven't read this one i was busy this week in my the guy helps you with my podcast bull

a nameless because that's how i do it sent me this thing and now i'm a little late today so its first time i read it yeah that's what she was doing she just i don't know if you'd all have to ask a female to get into the psychology of it but i can i guess like i think did i noticed tat she wanted just see the still want to fuck her and that like i can say this now that our relationship with his other guy isn't gonna work and she has major fucking major she's got using the really a mature or eventually she has major issues and chauffeur up every relationship by doing shit like this and eventually she's gonna be that old haughty hanging out at the wine bar you know the crows feet around her eyes get out you know that chechnya just envy and opinion that girl and then will look back in regret at all the good guys that she fuckin dick teased as she was playing the fuckin feel but this is

you do in the future the second a girl is doing some shit like that second she said listen just so you know i have a boyfriend weak by doing this you should have said you know why you're right let's not watch a movie and right then you take her out so you have some sort of power are right and if you want to fuck a girl like that you should have been the one saying now you should the one pushing her off all right because it sounds like she has that fucking thing where you know she gets off on the fact that you want or but can have our eye so you're acting like you don't want her that fucks with her head like wait a minute what am i lose my pussy power and you just literally back your way into the fuckin boat then your club or over the headman day ago you got your fish in the boat

all right that's how you do that but i gotta tell you in the future do checks like data just a complete fuckin wasted time you're already bangor you already dotted all the eyes crossed all the tease what the fuck you still don't you are there because it's an easy thought it was an easy fuckin lay when you got back which is understandable ok but the problem is is you don't have your dick and check your dick is running your fucking life you gonna make the decisions are right and when you first do that you start winning those a lot more see women have their policies and check that's why they always when those barrels ninety percent of the fuckin time today go that's the little information that i can help you with what i like i said don't ever don't ever be afraid to fuck and ask a female for advice on stuff like that not only they give you advice they actually enjoy doing it and i'll have way better advice than i do because you know preserve fuckin woman you don't mean taking call me or asking a plumber about fucking carpentry go to a carpenter aright

that is the part cares for this week i hope you guys are beguines enjoyed it seemed like a fairly smooth one right lemme k whore out some data people can you hang with me this long enough or maybe you gonna hang me cause you're on final approach or you know i can't stand this it would have me a day i went out to go by my fuckin water cooler than i wanna have just in case of soon army hits out here cause i live on a fault line and always want to have at least five to ten gowns water you know i'm already inland enough with a soon i'm not gonna hit the sooner he hates me here i'm telling you utah's in trouble right so i go to lower hardware i go there online i look up to see if they have the one that i want and that the euro and lows has it so rather than just saying they only have an online i'm assuming its at the fuckin store so i jumped my car and drive

for there are then they don't fuck and have it they don't fuck and have it and it's just you know just fuck and drove me not so then i stop offers sporting goods stored by a pump because my football doesn't have any error in it and this is what you do with forty two when you don't have any fuckin kids you know you actually you still acting like you fuckin fourteen saw i just heard that moment when i went into the sporting goods store you know i hate when they can't fuckin help me i'm asking a simple question then i start to flip out and then they just call me sir a million fuckin times you no sir i'm sorry sherbet circuit you could you please not sharing this year please sir thank you share that fuckin shit that's what reminds me of a flying on the plane if you do it

thing if you have your seat baxter could you please what you seek like absurd yankees you're sure in order to expedite the serious here could you please sir i fucking hate that that but you know what i do then i threw gritted teeth just say man back a hundred times i'm sorry man yes man thank you ma am could you stop mammy ma am you fuckin can't ma am i'm sorry those little bit of fuckin half hour to rage i had to get out there let me get back to open my dates so anyway this week ah what a week i have i'm gonna be it the record theatre for two shows i believe the second show is already sold out so if you want to get tickets you bet a fuckin hustle there are five fucking contests a goddamn internet work not working in this room and i really need to stop

life i met the record theatre this this friday april for two shows i believe they're like eight and ten or eight ten thirty i know what the fuck the armor goddamn website more come up that's in baltimore outside of baltimore maryland and on friday night i met the tower tower theatre in philadelphia pencil later on this month i got two more shows one is in milwaukee wisconsin april twenty second at the pact's theatre unbelievable response by the way i want to thank everybody beforehand a walkie maybe that's why had a laverne and surely song in my head is now that shows base that we also worked at a beer factory saw come full circle and on the twenty third i'll be at the royal oak theatre into right michigan both of those dates are selling unbelievably well both of them are gonna sell out so get your tickets as soon as you can

i want to thank everybody therefore like i've i have not i've never played milwaukee and i have not played detroit since i did the rich bitch tore the chapels shelter back and i think i did in all four i i've done is i've done my checkers in that type of stuff outside detroit detroit but i haven't been in detroit so warm i guess it's royal oak i have no idea in the last one is actually sold out it's one anti social comedy comedy toward dates in that one is jim norton put detour together jim norton from little jimmy from the european anthony show best radio show out there for my money jim norton jim brewer david tell em myself are all doing a comedy tore we just added some dates we have a date in washington dc on may thirteenth we have one in june i believe it's at the chicago

theatre these are all at anti social carmody dot com i believe that one is june fifteenth i think i don't know all that is an anti social comedy dark consciousness gone towards those dates are all on sale yet all please calm down you get you get four comics for the price of one replied some of the most beautiful venues in the country more dates are going to follow because the turn out has been unbelievable ticket sales have been fantastic that's a podcast for this week all real quick j miller one of my favorite and forces of the boston bruins is in in the hospital recovering from pneumonia i just want to send it might get well soon wish one of my favorites and we're gonna send a link on youtube video because in great youtube videos

i almost forgot about those who can have one of j miller hold its own against the greatest of all types of my money bob probert and what are the youtube videos for this week we got some good ones i got one from that show cheaters yellow cheat where they got you know they basically semi thinks that somebody sheet i'm so then what do they do they get they hide this company and they start spying on the boy for a girl friend when they confirm that they are in fact cheating they show up and confront them and this is one of the greatest ones have ever seen they confront this kid at an ice rank after just played a hockey game and you know usually the person is cheating you know the dude is absolutely stand this guy handles it absolutely perfectly the fuckin breaks up with her she shows up she's like inadequacy of the check is cheating with is that the ice when she says yeah would have fuck is that you know what the fuck are you doing here

then he just goes he just breaks up with a run on the spot he's leaning on his stick white wiping the snow i mean that the sweat off of it fuckin knows he looks like it a key player in between periods go unlike we gotta work on our checking i hope we can get that go back in the second period he wasn't even sweat and he just breaks up with her she's again who the fuck is that what the fuck are you doing these obvious goes he goes yeah don't sweat it what do you mean what dog like tat goes yet over because that girl because the other girls uglier she got you you're gonna tell me for that girl and he goes what can i say she she does it right he didn't he didn't give a fuck he was barely looking at her he was just sitting there leaning on his stick he wasn't nervous that was cameras there and he just fuckin breaks up there and then his girl doesn't know what to do she's so she ends up getting into a fist fight with the checking

she's not and he just sort of walks away into the locker room spoken phenomenal what else do we got we have some hippy check trying to give a presentation to a bunch of corporate people what the hell these youtube videos we got paul or and off hyping the whole coca mania work out thing that's one of my favorite we got a couple hours there are gonna be up at the immense podcast dot com and like i stated earlier if you want to send emails to this podcast the new email address bill at the podcast dotcom please keep a comedy as emails they get better each week that said you guys all happened right wing and re weekend greatly go fuck yourself mythology next week

however

over

i have yeah yeah

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