hey what's going on it's filburn it's time for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you just checking it on you see now you're doing how are you today are you upset thursday afternoon thursday night football what at what happened during the song this time that made people upset and decided that they were gonna get all up in arms about their corner of the fuckin world unbelievable i'm so fuck and maybe the guy talking i'm so fucking listen to people making that thing about what they wanted to be about it's like that's not what the initial protest was about if you would like to discuss police brutality are more than willing to listen to what i do want to hear your fuckin soliloquy

all those people who are likes you wanna be the reverend like i don't even care entering he could you don't care it doesnt fuck what they're talking about those an effect you so that about you ok because a fuck it's one moment at the beginning of the gay commenting on something that people are trying to fix that's all that's all my biggest complain about tonight's game between the bears and fuck and tat is stop the game because this potential of lightning four folk in bed somebody gets electrocuted it's unbelievable unbelievable how important human beings still consider other human beings i just don't want it really is about that it's like for giving the nfl gives a fuck about you they don't they don't give a shit about you they don't want you to get electrocuted

because then you can't go out by another jersey or another ticket or nfl sunday ticket that's what they care about it some while they're gonna get blamed right because everybody in the crowd he's gonna be like well they shouldn't know god was gonna do that you should know what the weather was gonna be there's no more hey fuck oh you went outside do you know it's outside lightning and you went outside and god dammit lightning found you and that's your own dumb lucky guess what you can have your own wikipedia page now you don't have one now nobody knows who the fuck you are but you get struck by lightning someone's gonna find you on wikipedia maybe you won't get your own page you might be on a page that's just a list of people struck by lightning in twenty seventeen or and earn whatever papa call in this decade

it has to be an extraordinary circumstances when you get struck by lightning for you to get your own wikipedia page you have to get struck by lightning and then something else happens he struck by lightning you catch on fire and you run into a paper machine factory all right with a bunch of children there whose make a wish was that they can go to make fuckin paper machine factory then you run and then and then when it all goes up and all those little kids die then now then you'd have to share with the kids it's a top thing it's hard to get struck by lightning then get your on wikipedia page dinner you know it's funny if that actually happened to you struck by lightning canonize afro going you catches on fire you run into a paper machine factory those bunch of make a wish kids in there and then they all fuckin died the funniest fuckin thing about all that is how much shit your relatives would get you the economy

jane i you know that guy is one of those wilson kids yeah his pocket brother get struck by lightning instead of just die in land their burden the fuckin asshole can't daddy is runs into a paper machine factory kills a bunch of kids that were already dying aways you now nobody treats them like shit like you keep your wits about you when you heads on fire the bottom line is is i don't know what happened to football i don't ever remember being stopped because of whether used to be they play in all kinds of whether write me had the ice pull up there and green bay yet game or all the locusts descended down on the kansas city chiefs when they played the fucking do you titans i'm just make an option at this point i don't know what happened to the game but now any time it's gonna be a little bit across when what if it blows somebody sunglasses often goes into somebody's i

jesus christ those those people that that's was caught the amount of layers of clothes blubber you have to go through after the lightning strikes him to even like in a rattle of few filling sluice of the average person who was cards and these are these are leader wholesome people up there ok they get that l l being catalogue and those people that is formal where i understand that you know when you get married in wisconsin you can actually show up you know you don't like everybody you gonna where tales with your tuxedo they ask me they're gonna where those fuckin minos rubber pants this fuckin the suspenders when you go trout fishing somebody was saying there was some fuckin guy he walked out into the ocean why the fuck he was a river some sort of water a watery airy any walked in then this wave came in and washed into his fucking pants its outcome

tip them over and he couldn't get up because the combination of the weight of his ass his legs those rubber pants and all the water ended it just fuckin a drought i don't know if that's true that sounds like something a fucking old lady would thyssen others fuck an old lady when i the kid you know back wouldn't you parents did watch their kids parenting back in the day you woke up you gave em fuck and you know the multi college cereal he opened the door and they went outside they just met other kids and wood kid brains you figured out what you're gonna do that day where there was this old who lived around the corner and she's always tell us all these crazy fuckin stories she had terrible candy to we'd still show up i don't know why

jeez be one time though i wish you a large area will judge guy any he tried to stop its foot down on the brakes to stop troy wouldn't go bruno stop china and she said that his leg went all the way up into his body in this and it was like sixpences shorter than from the rest of my life we walked around in a garden you know i used to come home and i repeat the stories to my mother rope i'd be like mom you gain a j you know i'm tired your guy as language ambiguous bargains one day she is finally i think was listen to me she just look to me she goes who told you that now as i gotta lady down the street she goes down listener she's crazy i don't want them my mother talk like tat i needed to do a different voice she doesn't smoke i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about bubble overdue you expect from someone who forgot it was thursday that's how awesome my life is i forgot it was thursday sometimes you can forget it's thursday because you life is fucking terrible

right you roundup right you're gonna fuckin bender or you're you're like i don't know what you're fucking will you forgive your political prisoner he forget what date is your ensure shake our right sometimes you fight him off sometimes you dont you mark enough to day she got rita hayworth down the wall you don't know what fuck data is that even if randy defraying you good with numbers you lose track and all the other people that lose track of that people who work for themselves which i don't i work for netflix now i guess you don't like the way you support for days other day live in the dream anyways ok football sundays coming up up up a bomb beauty bodiam instructed my gambling pick a week gambling other weak awry

i guarantee you that if you gamble on this game money is gonna change hands either out of your pocket or into your pocket or it might be a push guarantee in that call me up at one eight hundred freckles bad bad bad the giants getting three and temp obey the giant it's the only three giants everybody look and adam like their washed up forgetting that eli manning has want to superboss against the reigning super bowl champions they beat bill bela jet two times because get to rings it was god he's got to rings he's got no respect and he's got half an office of life but i think this week they get in three their under dogs they did fine fight against philly last week that came back labour gives a shit they still scored twenty some points are really pay attention right

and then they lost on a sixty one for guinea right some fuckin do from ninety to one all came walking in writing just fuckin kicked a goddamn thing like the end of a hollywood movie right ain't gonna have they're gonna go down a temper first of all nobody specks the tampa bay buccaneers you know why because they have a giant pirates of the caribbean ship inside their stadium i don't know what they're trying to do i don't understand how the oakland raiders ok who have like a pirate on the side of their helmet are able to achieve that bad as bad as fucking uniform in all sports as far as i'm concerned they will they moved to vegas any of the white home jerseys they better go back to the silver numbers or our my name is it billy fact it's alright ten

beg buccaneers i don't understand is what is a buccaneer exactly ok let's look this cause judging by their colours i feel like it's more like the musical theatre so of pirate it's much more let's just go out and have an adventure rather than raping and pillaging only we got here in the pocket buccaneers last less we thirty forty seventeen so they're coming off a big loss that's always are concerned what the fuck is a buccaneer buccaneer right buccaneers were a kind ok a private her or pirate what's a private privateer private tier was a private person also they keep to themselves well that's not really gonna team sport is it or a ship that engaged in maritime warfare ok under a commission of war

all it did a very efficiently particular to the caribbean see yet pirates of the caribbean that's right originally the name applied to the landless hunters of wild boars and cattle in they largely uninhabited areas of tortuga and spin neo lie we caught they smoked over a slow fire whether for what are we talking about somebody jerk me jerky why should we fear these people do you know what this is just a whole bunch of reading that i don't want to do it caught by anti pirate english authorities seven there aren't you know any there was there's been a pirate buccaneer what's the difference what's the difference between a raid in oakland wade in a buccaneer

i would say more thirty times judge i've been wide have amended the temple stadium won't be then a few isa ok buccaneer verse raider what's the difference this is what you gonna love the internet i'm not saying they have a right answer but they always have an answer what's the difference buccaneer is a synonym of raider as announced the difference between a buccaneer and a writer is that buccaneer isn't on is nautical any of a group of seamen just now see men who cruised on their own account on this spanish main and in the pacific in the seventeenth century similar to pirates but did not prey on ships of their own nation while a reader is one o gauges engages in a raid colin semi colon plunderer

well what the fuck is a raid and one is a plunderer see this this is what you do you're fucking wanderer the plunderers is a fictional character so they did not even exist that i don't want this fuckin that was actually a superhero dare devil thought the plunderer plunderer come on come on gimme something gimme something here your comments plunder wikipedia is just such a one trick pony sometimes i just keep going back to the same fucking to plunder the public treasury to take wrongfully as pillaging ok eric you know i don't even give a shilling more about that all those who have a fucking drew the raiders logo did not draw the buccaneers logo that first one at least and less he was a rate of fed it was like these for these fuckin guy saying that kind of like us

we already took this name missy tamper bay fuck em ears spills a porno logo what are we gotta sort of a pirate counteract after trying to rip off the old fuckin far above the razor let's see they're fucking original original logo which just like any was tom selling what it was really to absorb sort of winking at you tiniest of knives in his fucking mouth there is the one i remember right there the cream signal there was a look i got three musketeers you look like a good guy i think that that was the problem was there a point to any of that and i think there was any way this is one of this one the greatest times of the year

in united states sports in whose getting our sports are the best if you don't believe it veto believe our athletes are the best i'm telling you you need to watch the olympics ok oliver white athletes dominating all of those games what will we do we do well in the winter olympics that we now we know we lose to the fucking canadians we beat the canadians and like the did juniors we always beat them because anybody like our age has already made it up to the fucking nature you know but you gotta give those canadian something lucky they got you say that you gotta let him have hockey even though the russians are kind of slowly taken away from a lot of european players the game is slowly being taken away from their sticky served fingers up there ok we all understand this right and they're going to hang on for dear fuckin life because if canada god bid ever was to lose hockey

why would they be left with her but will they be left with that shuffle board on ice that they play where they call it we call it what because it means slide here let the fucker go a bigger suitable isn't it the rim can i a aroma of a jeep that they turn into a giant hockey puck as well no peace hockey with the practical curling college girl there's no fucking there's nothin like that you know fuckin have no idea anyway you play off baseball's commoner hoop start hockey's gonna start college and profit balls going this he felt his close to the great cup i mean just what else could you want

kate the formula one model jp are gonna be wrap it up here in the next forty days most exciting fucking time let's check out the baseball standing shall we everybody what do we got here those boston red sox hang on for dear life three games ahead not the new york new york yankees camp obeyed devil raised soon to be montreal expose spoiler warlord better you guys that's too i must have told this story the time i went to the montreal expose gave by myself when this gig upstate new york here now yeah i was trying to go to all the fuckin stadiums sounds like i will you know but see this material eta got a fucking game say it again the next day someone up i did this gig i think i did the lake ontario play house i know i've told a story before but what maybe i can foolishness maybe from something from chechnya

maybe something from romania anyway so those again the next day so i end up trying to cross the border into canada spree nine eleven by the way in a very weird spot by myself so i get stopped at the border the guy tell you guy asked me i always or what are you doing there fella canadian do no said i'm going to expose game exposed last probably about like a hundred twenty games at that point during the season and it goes off you're making some friends up there and i was like no go by myself he was gone i would remind all opponents right there for second so yes me pull over and like to more these fuckin guys come out they start ribbon apart my car they sent me inside i like what the phase of some sort of random drug search

just sit there watching them and they represent a pie repellor bar and then a fund suddenly fuckin dawned on me like what kind of a fuckin loser i mean i was like two hours away of the dry two hours out of my way to go up to you to go to material exports game by myself this guy could not fathom than any human being even one that look like me would have that much of a pathetic moment no life convinced that was some sort of drug meal or whatever i guess drug meals was that when you have it up your ass but they never check my ass they just check the fuck up it suddenly dawned on me that they thought there was no way that i was that pathetic but i knew the real answer was yes i was apathetic so just struck me as funny and i started laughing and i couldn't stop and i remember the cop looking over at me and he saw me laugh in and i think he thought i was laughin like you couldn't find the drugs so they they were out there for like a fuckin half hour

and then once i knew that they thought i had drugs that i was just can act like a dick and add a shooting grena my face i came walking up smiling and they were the guy was get mad like i was smile like you didn't find it or whatever and then i went up there went up there in this fuckin french can't acted like you didn't understand what i said when i ask him to take picture cuz i know of anybody take my picture cuz i was by myself at one disposable cameras budget that the story just keeps get worse and worse more i called him a county laughed and walked away so when it was sitting out like fucking left field and it was such an old stadium at an hour just under budget money at socialism up there you know they just don't step on the poor the way we do up here

out in the outfield your seat only had one arm rest that's what i remember even on the left on the right i can't remember what that was sitting out there on all the fans were not paying attention the game the fans that showed up and they would just sing in order to allay annihilated that sakharov pockets are and i was watching i swear to god i saw this guy like i want this guy steel home plate and i'm way outlet feel so i jumped up when he stole a plate nobody else jumped up with me it was really quite in in this stadiums and i was like maybe that was something else maybe i don't know maybe a passport maybe a buck i don't know what so fuck it set back down i felt stupid because everyone is looking at me and then later on that nato's back at the fuckin hotel and i was watching ts end but sir espn up there they live or something you don't see every day they showed a guy steel and complaint those that's my ex post story

not riveting but not boring or identity got the cleveland indians crushing it crushing one twentieth winners have pointed to in a row i feel i take one like maybe what like like twenty five of the last thirty that twenty seven therein whilst the houston astro where well look who's finally in the american league finally put on your big boy pants stop playing it run and get yourself nice and write it up and try to get it over the fence the washington senators in first place i didn't fuck you know that the cubs looking repeat the dodgers i wanted a dodgy game last night they want fuck intended nothing had a great time set right down on the field like terrifyingly close like i tried to make sure i watched every goddamn pitch and you know a person so

you know that so scary if you're boughs and you know you're a relaxing heads like fuckin form rubber you don't itchy just bounces i've won at www unit you order another fuckin round right bud i've stone sober sit there so actually realized what the fuck it happens i was staying right on it what a great stating that is the great stay in great fans out there you know it means i should know where different colored jersey in you don't sit on the bleachers you no enemy so i shall always your kids it's a great stating its a great lawyer rooting for the dodgers it's a wonderful time and what their outbreak attack i do great damage should say i meant to say a pretty good eight pretty good i off my dialect diet when i was in fact toronto so think my camp is healed up we're gonna try at the elliptical tomorrow guess what all freckles africa this blame the monte carlo tomorrow in las vegas

it's going to be great bunch of people from f is for family are coming out a bunch of writers going to be at the show so i'm hoping i can have a good one i'm very excited to play that one that's the one from river phoenix was an imminent fuckin movie oceans ten or twelve fifty one of the fucker was called where everybody stall those good looking fellow stood out there right look yeah the issue is that of the funds the function of you guys are there will be other sectors seen on plain that we have always wanted to play that one i wish there was the cleanest in class he's looking one least from the outside you walking in the things they all at the same but anyway let's get onto the young let's get onto the what do we got here a bit of advertising here our draft kings everybody drafting ok and i said ice what did i say giants get three giants getting three ready drafting football season has begun

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legal zoom dot com legal zoom dot com day ago there you go some way as we do a bent benefit today for point though rico those poor bastards are still without power door and you know if they have to get hit by that hurricane and everybody's over here talkin about somebody taking a knee actually think taking a knee is more respectful than standing up is it christ two guys on his fuckin knees softly i'll be able to do that hopefully people stop focusing on the song start focusing more on the heroin epidemic right ma myself bugs the fact that we feed cows to other cows and cut in the build up of birds and i walked around doing face plants because it breasted to fuck it big you know he can't even get a big two fuckin land on

that's like that mac said get smart episode where they put them in the gurney and they strapped them in and it was only one of those fucking rotary doors they stood him up we have seen that one they push on throaty does the fuckin phased plan there it killed me i loved it back in the day can you tell em a huge me tv fan i have been taken the twilight zone over there and not always a twilight zone great what's awesome about it is afterwards i then get to do my favorite thing is google to see how much of that cast is dead and i was surprised i watched the one that was the dewitt the pool the bulk of the little kids are still alive there in their sixties the mother is still alive still alive and kicking like eighty nine years old however the dad fuckin dropped like less than ten years later in the early seventy said our attack you know enemy was a big thing back in the day guys died a heart attacks and when

died of accidental overdose overdoses you notice any time they get airport hysterical they would give him black beauties in only a guy's gonna ali itself in a they get slapped around in the doktor s office and then you do to make sure the swelling went down they would give him these relax of fires for their cheeks in there in there in the rest of their body some like tat i forget how it goes but that's what i do like i want your wife ivo just about every night and the other night they add this episode called to hell with babe ruth then there was a big room a right that back in the day back in the day when i was young i m not a kid and they used to arm hello but come on in turn the knob oh i thought you will come in it so back in the day what's the lovely nea

i already against data will get out of bed why'd you come in the us oh yeah what he ordering i mean like in our middle eastern the lamb and rice and that sort of thing whenever i own i already eight for the evening another to bully salad with chicken yeah here here today is fascinating so i'm gonna go out to dinner i haven't seen you and so on first we have a date night tonight you pull me out of the blue me off i didn't boy papa bob bob right to hell with babe ruth ok this is alleged allegedly yes

you're being dismissed you know what nea you're fired now my only at the end of the pot casinos told them about their tail with babe ruth thing there were the wifi while i was showing you when they had the white guy plain the japanese guy within but then the lady he was with puss butter a few japanese but she was definitely asian and so she's gonna sit there look at him with this fuckin white guy stupid thing and then they put this awful make up around his eyes this is fifty years ago are you gonna say about i'm just just bringing up there was terrible was through those half a century ok now get doggie so anyways allegedly during the world war two when the japanese soldiers would do a buns i charge which just fucking a suicidal charge i guess i went out like

pan was not fucking around there was no quitting ok there was no everybody gets a ribbon right they were just a few fuckin did there was no surrendering to your fuckin enemy so during those bonds i charges allegedly and are not this is propaganda they would yell either to hell with babe ruth fuck babe ruth is what they would you right babe ruth got wind of it and there's a quote in the new york times i gotta get this right i dont want to misquote the sultan of swat the only man who have at a ball park built around his fuckin abilities let me see if i can find this you can't i can't find it he basically said he goes any jap that says that they adaptation we get shot it goes a while when he goes to hell with all the japs that was written in the new york times you know

you could never do that in nineteen sixty nine by the time that episode of wife ivo came out but what you could do was have a white guy with the worst make up ever around a fuckin permanent posts the picture i got a poster picture i don't know if imma do it either i just want to make sure i just got a picture of john daly violence in sweat pants fuckin making a chocolate shake for himself in a glass that had the arkansas razor back thing is it is is there anything about john daily that is an awesome anything so anyways i was watching this episode in the sky and watch the whole time gaunt that guy is not japanese what the fuck i'm so there's something wrong with his eyes it would have an if i looked up the actor

i don't know what he was used first generation something or other but it was not you you should see these seas faces all faces fucker white features than here this is turkey was sort of squint his eyes though i was this was horrific feel bad for the lady across all imagine what she said what she came home just came home get runagate did even look good so many ways i guess what i'm saying it is about time we make a world war two movie you know we actually have japanese people play jappy soldiers can release do that here had been done i dont know i watch sports ok and there is no fact checking whatsoever when it comes to were one mrs pack has guys i ordered the greatest fucking mother fucking cock second fuckin whisky glass you ever own in your fucking life in its so awesome that i know when you see it you're gonna wanna write

this guy's got a small operations are not going to tell you who is until i ordered some more and get my order in and then i'm going to let you know one monday monday monday i can't be that much of a cunt this is a great gift if you have a fucking person who loves hang on loves to drink whiskey in the holidays are coming up please tell me it says the guy's name on it god damn i'm gonna give you the need is greatest and whisky glasses ever this guy he and is does this sound rather sounds kind of perverted blows his own glass was a bedtime pausing at her he blows his own three two one glass make countermine any t c o t t r m a and

need carmen dot com can make you all kinds of things i actually fucked up my order i called the number up any de guy just picked up it's like a low unlike yes they there is i guess nay my gadget i ordered the riot put in order for a glasses i ordered the wrong once i wanted the ones with the square cuban it goes i saw that i'll take care of that how do you hear about savages looking up wicked whisky glasses what the guide us are for all you guys out there you drink the top shelf bows right you're a self made man or you were born into it give a fuck right you got your woman in line you got a top shelf le booze any respect the bushy respected the artists artist who fuckin whatever the fuck did whatever he did to make it is mute and his innocence it is tasty god it's gonna make me to write off the wagon

is tasty as it is in an you but you cold you know so these all these different things is these giant ice cubes you keep put in their these big square ones but eventually towards the end you know can build the waters gonna start leaked into the booze you get me talkin tap water beavers shit this stuff is is mixing in what you got the imbues you can have that maybe the aroma of duck feet is is common coming christine pristine fire water here right so then they also have they got these metal cubes or whatever but then you know no matter what these can be some sort of metallic maybe blah blah blah blah this guy nay all hail nay he makes a whiskey glass and then he makes it square glass fuckin ice cube and mary said to the glass it becomes part of the glass then you take the whole fuckin glass you stay

get in the fridge the fraser whatever and then every things called ok and then you poured in there the boat s nowhere to hide its surrounded on all sides by nice chilled frigid glass but none of it leaks into the boughs take a drink it need and have an ice cold you can have your fuckin cake and eat it what these glasses i cannot say enough a bottom i absolutely love these fuckin glasses and having been used them yet they got a little way to do so if you feel limp rested a you know if you are you out of here back in the day an old roller injury and you'd be property arrest these might not be for you ok but i fucking love these glasses the gene and end the coolest shit they caught him and with the sea that's it joined the music da we got another half hour ship coming up from a thursday afternoon just before monday morning podcasting thursday gone by

you know possibly earliest year maybe it was from three years ago i don't fucking i don't pick them all right have a great weekend you can't i'll see you in vegas and that's it right

oh you know i can't even get to that fucking you see that reported that died i'm getting what the hell's that story here writer for rolling stone which i have a subscription to one of the magazines few magazines that actually read every episode every instalment michael hastings he had a horrible death he fucking going down i believe it was highland yourself the male rose mercedes was traveling ridiculous spades headed fuckin tree and the whole thing exploded bursting into flame the added identify him by his down records and allegedly this guy new

he wrote some fuckin article and rolling stock where he was over and afghanistan talking to some higher up in the military and they were saying some shit that they thought was off the record and he put it all in the article and people you see there is trying to say that his car with cyber attacks thou not even get to get into that but to it fucked up as the world getting is like that's actually something that somebody could do i must say whether it was done by this guy or not i have no fucking idea he might have been hammered i have no idea i have no fuckin cool i don't know anything about it but i'm just saying that the fact that somebody can hack into your computer and cause your car to speed up and there's nothing you can you can't shut the car off

this is why i do not believe that it's just like is evil was that is we got to eliminate this guy is there a zillion other ways to kill him without doing that like what if he slammed into like a fucking many van with a married couple in their three four kids you know there's gotta be the euro can't they just spray some mr udall just walk up to minimise like high sir we judge try these fragrances sprayed on em and then the guy like you know ten minutes later try on some slack sieges kills over again just do it that way but anyways this truly can they actually do that shit and this makes me feel glad that you know half my time out here i drive around in the classic car you know because not like i'm any sort of a threat what i'm saying is if that

this would think if you had the ability to do that some fuckin nerds would just do just to do because it would be funny to speed you up for a second and slow you down just a freaky out you know like back in the day when this is like internet fun what you would do would you take your garage door open her right you drive around the neighbourhood any pointed at every garage until you ve found somebody that had the same one issue it back the day they just had a like it was a sophisticated so not all yours open not only yours it opened the other ones too so you'd did eventually find somebody at the same garage door brand issue and you could open and close the garage so is it could my fucking neighborhood so you just fire you drive one person nuts you just

dr by you just fuck everyone's why would just open it and i don't know why we would do it we were asked us both so using that if you could fuckin do that with cars wouldn't wouldn't like these people like you know hack into steel like credit card numbers and should let me wouldn't that be somebody just doing that to do it like a board it was listed was this the dumbest part of the plot guest everybody did i stick the landing starting off with ignorance then why why wouldn't gay well fuck you noted the rio if i have a book of commercial i'm gonna be intellect commercial worthy adult sits there with all the kids and they go you know what would you what would you do if you had a zillion dollars and the kids they met at a king are we getting hot fudge you waterfalls and shit i would be sitting there right with except one

the basketball one where they were like making fun of the fact that i would be like you don't say i'm cinema more by tanks are right for the birds built i got these two parakeets

the problem is that these little dude you don't like me i've tried whistling petting them i don't know you can bet a bird scorning them with water do they like water i'm guessing that that's a good thing parakeets like water and when we asked the fuckin jimmy's guy to write a fuckin nine pages on it i love upset with that guy cause he actually did the research as opposed to me who like oh yeah i overheard this in a bar saudi ways guys petting is birds he's fucking get them with the water hose is west one atom whoop all the no avail another only birds but i feel they hold a deep resentment towards me where you clicked their wings and stuck in a cage how would you feel some cut you fucking nuts off came by started whistling thrown water at you you know i got an idea why only malo joe the cage right

one should take them to one of those car dad she had doctors and little boat talks in their fuckin wings let fly away when that be annoyed to you if you are in a cage the arms cut off fuckin elbows somebody came up rather than whistling they started speaking english i speak english at you because i think it's because i yelled at them well here we go i think they respect me because i yelled at of what what what what are they doing i said no basically i discovered them for pooping in their water dish but i their best interests in mind don't you understand how fuckin insane you are that you feel like you can talk to a bird you know why don't you like not stick them on a dish you know where do we was need the swing or

i would do as i just get a bigger cage i get a bigger fuckin cage the water in the centre that isn't near any those trapeze bars and hopefully they will be at the top of the cage still shit down on it or i would accept the fact that it's a bird in a cage and at its euro basic anything at the bottom of the cage minors will be the city addressed right just take that as part of it i wouldn't yell at the birds but with this guy had a skull them for pooping in their water but i had them interest in mine i heard if they drink contaminated water it can cause a disease it makes all their fair his fall off you could also read up on it is opposed to me who just repeat ships that they here because i do love for those little guys but putting jackets on new parakeets isn't one of them even if i were two i couldn't they don't even let me pet them let alone dress them do you not a bird guy you sure got a dog

because when i originally bought them i imagine i would have one parakeet on each shoulder why hang out around my house but instead whenever i approached the case they freeze and horror every time they do that i can help you remember my brother's face when he fell through the ice we had to pull them out i thought maybe bought them more toys they would that would somehow help too its motivation is it more toys their motivation is you not have an energy like i'm gonna fuckin twist your head off do wings are clips so they can escape you got him stuck in a key age the terrified and he yelled adam i would say more than on one occasion you yelled at them right you need the fuckin relax aright listen to this would you would you want to be like your job to be in a cage all day you know some zero

some giant comes home and puts yon it's fuckin shoulders and your whole job is to enhance the giants fuckin life you don't have a livid empathy for the fuckin birds but i would do it i would just have a totally relaxed energy and hope that they forget that you're screamed adam freedom nicely don't try to pat him just don't fuck with me every time you come over the gradually be like all this is the guy who feeds this scale brings water this guy's on our side you know is opposed in the mixed messages that you settle yeah birds don't give a fuck about toys do they i don't think they do we set about their new toy every friday on my way home from work in this ridiculous amount of toys in the cage and here's the kicker they haven't played with the single one not once what do deal the birds outside there then did you leave your toddlers toys outside they don't go oh good they left and then they go down they start playing on it's fuckin tricycle because

just stare at me i took them to the but he spent more time looking at his phone and the birds anyways any advice would be greatly appreciated i think you should find a bird lover sir give the birds away and then i don't know i think you should get your temper and check before before you do that you get your temper and check and then if you want to get a dog it seems like you want more interaction with the pack most people birds because they can have an interaction with an animal but they don't have to walk down the street and it is very a lot less interaction with them you seem like you want a bird to act like it slash a little kid my daddy's all my bought your fire engine boy maybe that's isabel work you know some of you want the bird to do that yeah please stop yelling at your birds

they i help but they shit the water you know the birds i spoke to being cages fly around and they should as they fly well shit whether our branches when they have to go they go they don't have any stress then already shame ms water all over the place so i got him in his fucking cage with little confined area water really supposed to do well i would what i know about the restaurant

the convention convention tax what's goin on its bill but and this is the monday morning podcast for raw monday september twenty two thousand and nine my voices a little raspy this morning casa de la shows this weekend getting ready for my my next our special that's going to tape in december

and summary i she sent me an email questioning when where and all that type of shit and were still solidifying all of that so the second i know i will you guys know each i was in fourteen listeners that i have on my ipod gas which i know at this point is more than that you know i've checked out google trends and saw that i think i'm up to about seventeen i have no fucking idea many people listen to this and i could give a shit all right that's it i mean i i give a shit i want people to fucking listen but i don't do this thing too let us wait i'll fuckin hide this thing really you fight did you find it you fuckin kuntz all right so since my deal it's monday and i'm still in addison texas why i do ask why bill thought monday was the day you went back to hollywood in tried to pursue

your dreams of getting a two way yeah fuck me here or there well i'm hanging around one more day cause i'm going to the cowboys game tonight on monday night football club plan the fucker they plant caroline answer some kind of out of sorts you know something i get this podcast ever you listen to me right now tuesday morning and i'll tell you why in fact and get it is because fuckin assholes at the hotel a rape in me on the internet and you know how i feel about corporations i'll fuck like what fuckin assholes do right you see for the internet its thirteen bucks a day at this fuckin hotel right thirteen bucks a day that's already ridiculous all right but i'm on the road you know what i'll make some money here i'm doing all right and i need to fuck i need the internet i lost my fuckin blackberry

so my guy fuck it i'll pay it so sign up for this shit at about ten o clock at night after i had flown in wednesday night the next year all the next day and i signed up for four fuckin day twenty four hours right my world a day twenty four hours right so i am going away the next day i do them morning radio i hide my shows i have a great fuckin time i come back and afternoon i say you know what i think i'll go on that the new fangled internet that the kids are talking about right go on the internet lo and behold i'm not on the fuckin internet anymore and i'm like wait a minute you ve been oil the fuck in summer school just about every goddamn year in high school because of math i know fuckin add right out shit geometry and algebra too and trade and all that shit fuck me up because

i'm not into shapes the second they start drawing those triangles on the boy i just didn't gibberish just like really there are certain things in life you just fuckin know you're never gonna use are right now i know that you know a lot of things and probably fuckin this in this room right now because the geometry look at all the shapes why look around the wind fucker look out the window tangle my doors rectangle was a fuckin triangle oh that's right angle on the doorway how this formal right is geometry i don't know what the fuck it is so an isosceles triangle over by my phone out i'll fuck and now a right but i know you know remain he just fucking know some stuff you know you're just going to suck at so whatever bill and i got enough stale fuckin track here right so anyways

basically we set about about fourteen hours since i signed up for the internet novice that i'm not in the fuckin internet again so i back on line to figure out what's going on and right after you cite you sign up for twenty four hours it says in the small print in parentheses that it spires every day at noon time so basically i didn't sign up for twenty four hours when i signed up for what yeah fourteen hours i paid thirteen dollars for fort and i was a fucking internet aid of i was sleeping ok so yeah they fuckin rape me they came up with a new little fucking fuck charge little you know they just sit around like dogs these fuckin money grubbing little counts the fig some little fuckin way you know that they can just somehow sweetie i mean that i'm sure if i sat down and try to figure out the map the math of like people arrive in a hotel and when they usually check out

like how having it expire every day at fuckin noon gets them a little bit more money you know so they make their yachts just a little bit bigger salt you know what it was usual shit what do i do i call the front desk right and who do i get do i get head of the cooperation that runs this internet scam of course not i get some fuckin twenty five year old person who fuckin me you'd in transportation or in our now hotel management and now has no fucking benefits and is working the front desk and i'm pissed so i say to him i say that chippy this bill burke in fact a room one zero one eight niner so to get military their alpha red niner see a cross power trap that wherever the you call it anyway so fuckin call this guy when i go look i just

and up for a fuckin day now it shuts off at noon gaza we don't have anything to do with that here at the hotel the internet is a complete separate entity so even now you're in the hotel and your currently having their due firmly on your ass we do have any responsibility on that if you'd like dick if any i can fuckin complain i have to go back on the fuckin internet and pay another thirteen fuckin dollars to complain these assholes so you know what fuck them fuck em fuck and assholes you know it you dumb fuck you could have got eighty bucks out of me i was willing to pay thirteen a day even though that was a total fuckin rip off because you little fucking country attitude now i only get through seen buck sodomy arise i don't understand why they do that why they just need to people just given to it trying to

the name of these assholes what is it i c h or something like that i know what the fuck it is who gives a shit right this haven't one fuckin weeks now i don't have any questions because i've been on the fuckin internet this week so i'm just basically of the wing this podcast but fortunately i have plenty of stories from my wonderful stay out here and addison texas here's one for you i'm gonna be on the road for the next three weeks so that's obviously putting a strain on my relationship ok something can maybe some nice for the falcon two days i'm gonna be home over the next three weeks and i am a big fan of the corvette everybody do you like the core what are you a middle aged american man like me you never got married and doesn't have kids so now that's what insect that's what an that's when that car starts appealing to you yesterday start thinking that maybe maybe i'll get myself corvette maybe i ll go hang out an applebee's and start hit not someone

whose at least fuckin born three decades after me now i fuckin love corvettes think they're up there i just love to look at the car makers it out and american made car i think it's a great value in order i think you know that guy corvette goes like fucking twenty miles an hour and a grand and i know that i know that once like six figures but you can get a corvette get you get a core reflex eighty five grand i mean i noticed a shitload of money but and i realized halfway through this i know how much a porsche cost is it porsche or porsha i don't know how to say that's another car that i fucking love that that you know i can't afford you know much money i have to make a fuckin year to justify blown sickly a house on a car housman on a car house money randy didn't fuck in arkansas somewhere but stealth you don't owe me so anyways i think too

it always is rather than fuckin going out in spending all that fuckin money on the car you just go rent one for a day so one day i landed in fuckin burbank airport and drive and by hurts rental car what do i see i see a fuckin yellow corvette sitting there i'm not into the yellow but it's still a corvette nothing can you no one is that when we just fuckin rent one for one day you know rent one for one day what second cost right three hundred forty bucks that's a fuck load of money but it gets its way less than seventy grand seventy five grand what the fuck why not brent one of those things you know i'll take my girl i will for a cruise up in the fuckin hollywood hills we'll tippit where will die just like that fuckin dude in the fifties look like fonzie but that's not him what is his name johnny named johnny than ever like a bad boy named johnny back then given out shit we're favorite things to watch

is old like does black and white movies whenever that they're doing movies about gangs you know it's always a bunch of white actors and half of whom are gay just flaming homosexuals and they're trying to act tough in it's fuckin hilarious the way they flip the collar and they they pull up their sleeves but the fact i watched the other day was one of the worst fuckin movies ever saw my life was a marlon brando movie that one worries on the motorcycle and he stopped the town if you want did you ever get embarrassed for someone like somebody still when something so do she that you just feel yourself just wanting to crawl underneath a fuckin hotel bed and lay next to that add hooker that you didn't even realize was there in autumn there is a saying in that movie where they are in this bar and these two guys start talking in this street slang

and the old bar tender just can't keep up with it they're gone i hey daddy oh i can't even do it it's so itself i ain't gonna call gettin barrister even trying to recreate it a fucking terrific so are the am i talking about air wonder at this goddamn car right so much if one day runner for one day tat some right now ella during the day especially during these hotter months it's fuckin horrible its living in a city let's right outside of god stove and ensure that doesn't make sense or withdrawn as you know i was trying to say that the joke i was trying to do is like you have a an oven sure we all have point you tried to cook a fuckin turkey off fuck you remind me i gotta tell you about a great youtube video yeah you know what i'm gonna forget make it back to the stove thing

givings coming up everybody i know i'm all over the place i'm going to fucking finish the brando thing i'm going to finish the stove thing and i'm going to get back to the corvette story but first tom and undertake a little break for the holidays over here in amerika for all you people overseas bubu the baboon i was was blazing john on all ships to see we have our holiday over here called thanksgiving where we give thanks for the fact that my father's fathers committed genocide and gave us all beautiful land out here fuck you that's all the world works we will come in you saw cutlasses world works smash most football i can blue division that's how fuckin works the norris no it isn't i don't advocate that shit but you know what what would it happened but you know they got their casinos we named

couple a golf courses after me even though such shit that's what i like about white people weak fuckin slaughter people than we named shit after once we feel bad we'll call this won't want buttock this is the one pataque grocery store this is the last in the mohican cul de sac anyways jesus christ bill yes why saw this you two very nice givens common up a right and one of the big things is a man is you have to know how to carve a goddamn turkey k in as much as all you fuckin guys out there one like you know what a carver turkey must see a fuckin don't but you're too afraid to ask because you worried that sum is gonna question your sexuality because that's what it's like to be a man basically you don't just somehow no shit without ever having explained to you that ever only means that you you want to have sex with another man that's the laws that i learned growing up so anyway there is a fuckin youtube video out there that of course i can't check because he's come

to charge me thirteen dollars every fuckin expire as every known but they're just go on go on to you too bright and just google how to cook for turkey there is a fuckin dude on their man i'm telling you it's it's unbelievable the way he takes his bird apart masterful ok don't make no mistake i made last year because i carved the thing up perfectly but the problem was my knives were a little bit dull go get your name professionally sharpened this month ok enjoy seat spaghetti until thanksgiving so you don't fuck em up because i swear to god i've tried with that little sharpen or that you get a lot of it just take out that sharp in order that will knifing they just go wee wee wee weak and theirs you have to fuck and hold the thing it is at a certain angle and you can shall we be making the thing dollar if you don't know what the fuck you don't trust me because i you know i watched a couple the three stooges things that i saw them

curly look academe fuckin do my fuckin voices trashed anyways this is are you to video man and it's like literally when this guy is done with the thing you got you got the drumsticks the wings in the dark meet everything's lined up like that and then you get all the white me with just a little bit his skin on top of it lined up like a fuckin dec cards and you come out with you having try i mean people faint it look so good in carcass is its immaculate our rights definitely checked that shit out if you gonna make a turkey if you one of those people to who wants to deep fry a fuckin turkey make sure you put to turkey in the friar first ok and then fell it up with water seen homage fuckin greece to put in their everyday lives people do as they fill it all the way up to the top and then they drop the bird in there and then it overflows catches flame lights their deck on fire and they burn down their house and that's not thanksgiving

that's not even halloween anyway make it better what have i got it back up here so anyways i can part gas is a mess de facto god of this laptop might ever heat up a fuckin oven the czech and on whatever your cooking and rather than opening it and letting the he come out and looking down with your face you open the door with your face right there and you get that fuckin heat is blast that what summer is like and allay in july and august mattel you at night it's absolutely gorgeous i'm telling you you should do it at some point you ever come out to allay fuck the hollywood sign going on sunset fuck all go up on mulholland drive and drive through the hills late at night look at the valley not looks at christmas man it's amazing so what wanted to do i'm gonna get this fuckin car crews around up there and die enough have a couple a drink rapid around a tree run away from the scene

blame it on a minority you now fuckin with you you know i was gotta have a good fuckin time so what i wanted to do so i call fuckin assholes up at hurts i call em up because i want to rent this car that's gonna cost me three and fifty bucks i'm to throw a fuckin ipod right in the trash for one fuckin day a fucking in some s turns up there in the hills right sir call him up and i say yeah listen i want to read their corvette you got the burbank airport and the agenda first of all i had to fucking get through this stupid stupid i whatever dvd the computer thing of course they have this this automated voice and you can tell the person to the voice over they told you smile when she did it it says this at the time goes thank you calling her it's randal car

you can actually get a better deal if you go to hear it dad needs big stupid fuck and greener face and it wasn't bugging me i he enjoyed it the first time through cause i'm going to get a corvette for one fuckin dead i'm gonna lived a dream fuck and dream and middle of the american fuckin dream before they collapse the dollar income combined with fuckin canada and mexico and put a mite chip in the middle of a fuckin forehead i'm gonna do it when i get this goddamn corvette right aren't you gonna fuckin tab toothbrush shoved up your ass press one if you want a fucking do a cart we'll press nineteenth of finally up you get up to twenty if you want to make a reservation i fuckin hit that button right again gig eagerly his elbows expiry date right takes me like in twenty minutes right press or say cunt right

i'm gonna throw all that shit so finally i'm just like screaming operator into the fund rights are finally i get someone i say listen i want to read this this car corvette you had the burbank camp airport goddammit i'd like to run it and they go ok to give you a number for the hurts randal car location and bacon help you with that sir and i said ok ma am and she that to me right so i hang up and what do i do i call the hurts location out burbank and what i get again that same computers smiley voice digging recalling herds vienna carer airbags a gay right if you the extension of the person how the fuck what i know that how would i know what fucking extension would like to football players and they have a hall of fame career and i no fuckin brett far is extension for out of

what i know that shit so what again operator screaming the phone i want fuck and talk goddamn person but of course i can't talk to a person what are they doing the entire time they keep steering me to the internet basically saying it not so many words that this would be a whole fuckin lot easier if you just one on the union eighty hurts dad em right we could just help ass eliminate more fuckin jobs so we can eventually replace all of you fuckin robots you know so am i this i want to talk to a goddamn person so finally get to this stupid you know i if you want to leave a message economic gonna wanna leave a message right and then they go well you didn't you know they come on i didn't make a decision i have to make a fuckin decision i did make a decision a decision is i don't like any decision to leave fuckin gave me to make

so i think if you want more european space for smiley face i pressed for and then pay equally if i wanted to talk to a person i could basically schedule a phone call when they could call me back i could leave my phone number or i could wait half an hour so hang up and unlike you know what i've just wasted a half hour my fucking life so i call these fuckin assholes back again at the national thank you thank you for calling her to yale car back in that shit again i'm an operator to the phone and i get somebody say listen who do i talk to to make a complaint does this unlike i'm not retinas fuckin car from there i know there's other places work they they d rent these exotic cars is the column that out fuck it i'm just gonna go through them but on but i want to make sure that i plain to somebody okay and i'm not going on the internet and sending a fuckin email right so actually get a person and they go

okay well let me transfer okay i'm going to transfer you i'm sorry to hear that sir i'm very sorry to hear that suck let me transfer you to our complaints department i go okay thank you she clicks it over thank you very curling herds veiled fuckin back in again right and they end they just fuck and tell me if i fight like i can't get i can't get to a fuckin person so now i'm jump on determine i'm gonna get to someday i call back again kgb going here to go to the operator go to the ball should again i get to someone i say listen ok sitting down person on the other side of the phone i would like to make a complaint i do want to fill out a form i don't make an email i want to talk to a person i do not want to be transferred into your national gig even beleaguered fuckin again i did say fuck because it could a hung up on me national system again i would like to be transferred directly to a person i believe you call it a warm transfer any creepy world

so can you do a warm transfer meaning something alive to something else alive they can communicate with me she says yes i'm sorry i'm sorry having this difficulty i say i understand lady i understand you're not on the yacht you not on the yacht you're on the dock gettin screamed at by eyes like me every day that's not yelling at you are right focused on hold again she can't get anybody then i go to her and then she hates me with the form what is your name sir they do not you fuck and business need to know my name what you need to know my name for she can stick me on the hostile collar list because i had the audacity to complain about your country fuckin system giving you my fuckin name i want to talk to a person ok there i just i just just following protocol i understand that man not matter you didn't see that country that fuck stuff that's what i was thinking but i kept my goddamn cool kept my cool just like fuckin steam wine and that movie worry it's the devil decks get me

at their eggs so anyways i fuckin i fuckin finally get to a person right and i just say really call i just say look you know i've been on the phone for forty minutes trying to give you guys three hundred and fifty bucks ok and the life of me i can't do it because i keep talking to computers and they keep sending me back into national system no man i know you have nothing to do with this right but i want to know what is the best way that i can try to complain so i can get to the inner hive the inner layer of the hive here and actually get to that that purse whose sitting there in those loafers without any socks on sunning himself on the deck of his yacht i want to get to that guy the gown this policy k i like talking to people men enjoy the fact that you still have a job ok that's what i that's what i like him i found buzzing

hey my phone buzzing hang or second a parliament call you right back so you know it actually worked so basically what they did was is i got an email they go you can send an email and i go and let me guess no ones call me right summit the email me back and act like it the actual friggin person that i'm talking to but really it's gonna be an intern whose being you know whose working there for free and also part i'm reach those books for operas book club so she can come on tv and acts like she fuckin reads a foreigner page book every fuckin weak right you gonna give me two that's if that's what the deal is i want somebody a pie so basically they gave me allegedly the email of the vice president at hurts reserve since tat can act you have the guy's name now whether it is true or not i don't know but what

want to tell the guy is that i was trying to fuckin rent that fucking flaming yellow corvette that they have out there in burbank california for the life of me i couldn't do it and now i don't want to do it and i'm going to bring my business somewhere else and i would appreciate it if you know hope against hope that maybe you'd give some human being some jobs because experience with your company as you may be at best have six people fuckin working there because just digits keep trying to steer the herd onto the internet and all you dumb fox out there who just constantly helping them to get rid of me those jobs you're out of your fucking mind because those people are gonna need jobs and eventually there to be willing to do your fucking job for a lot less fucking pay considering we ve sent ninety percent of our factories out of this can country now

so now the american workers gonna have to fuckin compete with sweat shops labour to make track shoes you know so we try to keep the jobs that we have i'm not going to hurt start com i to pay me off with better rates go fuck yourself but some fucked human beings and their the way you used to and you know what you'd be three to fifty fuck and richer i'd be driving corvette everybody would be fuckin happier you could puts varnish on youth the deck a fuckin boat fuckin assholes so whatever i know there's gotta be a private place out there are now lay that i can call right up they'll probably i urge me even more money and you know what i don't give a fuck because go in there that private gimme a little piece of champagne or gimme a fuckin foot massage aright probably won't do that but i'll talk to a person and that's what the fuck i want that's all they wanted little fucking human interaction centres to god damn much right so anyway there's that story right

and i will tell you another story i want to tell you got some stories this week are right when you put page amazon or i get it fire going in your fuckin apartment if they haven't boarded the thing up preserve worried about getting sued that great back in the day where if you started a fire was your fuckin fault posted the landlords as opposed to why did you have a fireplace in there when they had a fireplace in there in case it got fuckin called out or maybe you want to have a romantic evening what you girl and you want to light a fuckin fire that's why there's a fireplace in there it's a our place it is a place for a fire now have somehow you burn down the fuckin apartment evidently you understand what place to put the fuckin firing you dumb fuck who does not use a fireplace ever lee there's enough fucking people so they need to be boarded up boarded up a fireplace jesus christ what you put santa claus in jail while you're at it right there was a little big

ok i'm just say you i like our i like a crack of the fire like those can gas ones those fake fires me technically it is a far you know what am i talking about let me tell you a fantastic fuckin story last night i write so i'm working there but joe de rossa young joad arose at the fuckin teen idle from the opium anthony show who is actually going to be on the cover of teen beat this this month in it actually i saw a little bit of the photo shoot he's doing a tribute to a net fund a shallow and that other fuckin guy tony curtis who the fuck choose to make those beach movies with have a jobs can be there shortlist wholeness surfboard and not heinous he's never look sexier so the fuck am i in about i christ i really know anymore so we go out last night right would do in the show and is used to be

did it horse sit in the front fuckin rove right so unlike our while these girls these girls are probably fun right an amateur relationship but you know i like being the wing man you know i love being the the wingman i'd love i loved can shed the girls i love hit not girls i fuckin do it all the time and i but upon him off to over the fuck i am and you know so i don't have any goddamn guilt you know so anyway so long story short we're talking of these broad it is clear that there is some sort of strippers i don't know what the fucking deal is okay so we meet everybody from whatever i'm ammo up naming names here ok so a huge of us from the shell from the crowd thing we go we had out to the spot right up one of the trappers is cool the other one has a voice that could literally crack a flat screen tv right so the cool one shows up first she's

stand on like a are you don't you know i like at the end of the week i hang out by around for some people you know i'm in a great mood i had a good time i'm on my way home you know a bicycle for some drank so i say it away what it what would you like to drink cheese i i'll have it can gaga google when those fucking check drink so you know so i get a drink i buy jody rosa fuckin drank right nobody's having a good time and then this other person shows up who i knew and she was a real nice person i said what do you want for a drink and she like i'll get a vodka redbook right i got my twenty dollar bill out and then the strippers like make a toe right and i was a why when you may make it too you having finished your first make toby orton off my money you ve been your first one their young lady i stand the fao down do not work in right now not some dipshit get no fuckin lab dance aright finish your foot and milk and cookies first so

needless to say the conversation cooled between the two of us i don't give a fuck man i was having a good time whatever was still cannot you know whatever talking we will talk and sports the bartender was cool you know everything everything was going great so which out and all of a sudden this fuckin the other fucking stripper girl shows up was so fucking was just such classic female shit she's gotta tits hang out she's got the fuck pumps on and she comes out she goes away and she sees a friend with a drink and she knows god damn well she didn't pay for it so she looks over may as love is like while i must have been the sample fuckin bought it right so she looks miss garth airbags is like she's like what drake and i know what she's doing i'm like a drink and one of those same adams october fuss

and his leave like that nice an awkward right know what she's trying to get a drink i m right so she has are there she's like is a god like why yes yes it is at this de rossa knows what's going on i dont know that he knows what's going on so she looks at me like ok you evidently he's not binding more drinks and that she looks at joe she's ike joe what are you and joe gets this shitty granite s face it goes why drinking a bud light why would you to buy me one and she didn't know what the fuck did do she's like i guess guess you because you know what i think you buy me a bud light asia by my good friend billboard here another october first what do you think about that and at that point can die and laugh and the others the poor girl next to me she's laugh and arrests of could she knows what happened and then the

a girl with discreetly voices sidney she doesn't know what the fuck the dough fuckin nailed and then like she's gone she didn't want to do just go yes why don't you hey it forward for the drink set guys have barton you and that you ve done and then immediately turned around and fuck and walked away why don't you for once by a goddamned by couple of drinks for a couple of guys image you put it that way fine i will i will buy effect in june and just like how about some shots toe you just was i don't know what her fucking ego is that because final fuckin do that too so we she got a structured advised to bears and two shots so we're phil the kings of the world and then all of a sudden we found out from this waitress there on the sly she tried to put it on a boyfriends fuckin credit card what scumbag right so we buster we always end with this big commotion x out right before the fuckin bartender

operators swipe the boyfriends credit card we would like doubt chill joe just like an officer and a gentleman got nowhere else to go right we get him to stop and they take out her atm and she had the fuck and pay for it and it was a done deal we had to two shots from that fuckin personally you knows never paid for drinks and she got a fuckin tits right and this is the best part this can we gotta drinks we set thanks a lot and we both how can we walked away tremendous tremendous it was the best knight over stand that drink my drink like twenty minutes later a milk in it for all its worth this free food can bear their stripper bought me was all and bright and jos talk some girl across the weighty looking outside just yeldo baggage out looks over me and i did i did that but to narrow line from when he was eaten it joe

she's mom right before they hacked up billy bats right here always like what's up and i just pointed at the bare the stripper it bought and i just went delicious delicious and that was my evening that is another story for you wanna be thirty five minutes and you got any more stories as a matter of fact i do well but i do this fuckin weekend i know i took it to the cotton but what is the cotton bilbil i'll cut bull is a stadium has been around i believe since the twenties in the first place that the dallas cowboys played in and the dallas texas in the old afl and god dammit i feel got it still existed so i to go fuck and take a look at it so i went down there and lo and behold they were having there's texas they're down taxes state mother fork unfair that they have regard damn year i got a new text message here sixteen year offer call me when you wake up i want to please you asshole anyways

so i gotta take a tour this thing may suffer place tom landry coached the first season of the dallas cowboys right the dallas cowboys boys team that i love which is basically the tom landry years and i never got to the jimmy johnson ones because watchin landry leave i mean it was like watching johnny carson go you know now with respect to the next people it says it's just not johnny it's not tom landrigan i'm saying so i never got into them so like this was a big deal go check this out so i go to dinner gold tor and was the worst fuckin tore ever took up my life it wasn't there was an awesome torbert just the lady cute but she just didn't fuck know anything about stated she goes waiting to see any of the sky they added some seeds they added seats the shiny silver one thousand new ones and i was like how many people this fuckin huge a guy peoples this place how she's like i think like tat three thousand

three thousand nine are you guys aren't into sports the way i am twenty three thousand is like a little hockey arena you know you have a he game you saw a hockey game twenty three thousand this is where fuckin texas law coins in the fuckin oklahoma soon as play aright college stadiums do not hold twenty three thousand at the division one fuckin left especially texas open you monsieur mean so mike it gets a little boy i guess like forty five thousand i fucking know and she looks and she goes further twenty two thousand then she looked a little pamphlet she goes on it's ninety seven thousand and i got say right now right there this torres fuckin over it's over i don't hear another word from you because that is the first four if you're doing us a tour of a stadium like a view on the family field and in the end the first question was you know you stand there with one arm behind your back see can't cheat

stay where you have to do that in the family feud right like what if your lunch with two hands your quicker diving unlike for pete rose anyway the gift the question was you know you taken a tour of the stadium what's the first questioning and ask a pocket slam your hand down first thing you would say is how many people deserve stadium hold they people the stadium how fact number one answer that's what it would be this shit look acted like i asked her what the fuck and consistency of the concrete was full of the stay she had no fucking idea then she tried to say that that back in the day cotton ball the cotton bull b o w l like a cereal open ended on both sides think that for a second stadium that's called a be ever seen the rose ball

rose ball is an open on either side is it now it's shaped like a fucking ball she tried to say that the cotton bull was open both ends for a while and just in two thousand to they closed off they actually did was they put an upward and as far as i could tell they now down the enzo lower level may just they rebuilt that and they put an upper deck but she was trying to say that it was open ended until two thousand too in my head i'm going i dont think that that's right i don't that's right either and then we went into the media room and lo and behold they have a picture of the cotton bowling nineteen fifty eight and closed you now i am just at our but we got to go down stand right down near the field come right down we're all the players came out and you know was awesome lend dawson hagstrom bob lily chuck howley you know all shit right up till now all the modern day players ricky williams play there

us played on the when so many fuckin guys that guy vince young all those fuckin do is i don't know billy simms earl campbell you know it's a fucking great time then i walked out there and they and i went on i walked around the little state fair is a little state fair it's actually a big state fear that they have and die every gently down here in texas what they do is in people overseas who hate on americans are gonna love the shit this is a classic here what they do down here texas is every year they frass some areas fr i sought indifferent last year was orioles year before that it was twinkies we fraught coke one year fraud pizza nine alliance they fried all this shit sumitomo they fried coca cola fuck you do that said they did it i don't know how to do it well freeze the coke fuckin role around some fly five no fucking idea but all i know you know it evidently there out of fuckin ideas beak

as this year you know what they were frying they were frying butter got there they were selling fried fucking butter and i'm like you that is the most disgusting fuckin thing i have ever heard of my life god dammit i have to try it i gotta try it i have to see what it is like a little fucking youtube video actually i got up the kid i was with a little video of me trying that little la delicacy texas delicacy do it was the most disgusting fuckin thing i ever had i've asked the guy sir i will first thing how do i get the fried oreo has evidently that was a big hit that kind of made sense to me fried orioles fucked up as it is i would figure as its fried is gonna be salty but then you got the sugary cookie to kind of offset the too you know

you know you did some lines and i drifted some alcohol the even yourself out saint fuckin thing just in a food way right so why i went over to that one first undergoing let me get the guy's a high down on my gear let me get one of those fried orioles or your cookies and he goes i am sorry we can't we can't cookie it until the health inspector comes up and in giving us the ok the elephants alpha health inspector hasta inspect our boots first so my lot next logical question was like well how do you think you're gonna do hot into a restaurant leg hang on a second i love you give soundless just tat the helpless to go through first let's just see we have an acceptable amount roaches so i said and i went straight to the fried butter evidently they had already been inspected nice i'm out how can i help you i got i gotta get some of summit fried friday i guess i what do you want you want original

want some males who sought mouse i go let me get the original and he goes any goes we yes he said that the your choice of toppings i forget what the fuck they were but i went with the welsh is great jelly i now discuss thank you it's funny is probably as somebody working on a treadmill right now listening to this feeling what better about themselves so they basically they look like these little girls duncan in skins of donut halls that's what it look like and then there was like the great jelly there was there was the great jelly saw my phone keeps ringing so i deepening the good jelly and i took a bite out of it and do it was the most disgusting fuckin thing i've ever tasted my life stood like a flavourless donut and then you know that awful gum that has the scorching inside that was like the inside except was butter who just a little nugget of like butter

was fuckin grouse animals disgusting i have another one because i don't want anyone for each ventricle oh ventricles you get i ve got more than two may that's why i'm still fuckin living i dont know what but i had another one just to be like is was it that bad and our yes it was it was i was wrong just ass i can say with some fuckin wrong and should not be done and die yeah something like that i mainly in the park yes right here cause our motto stories and jesus christ my fuckin how much do i got it i have a voicemail i'm going to new york next weekend i'm going to get my blackberry when i get a new blackberry i don't get one out now lake as if a dual down and allay they can't give you a new york number you know i want to keep that number just because at this point i have had the number forever you know i don't have to call nine thousand people are out of pocket

i can about our right this has been the monday morning podcast i apologize i didn't have any doesn't have any questions as we do not have anything couldn't get to my email i had a couple is this september twenty fourth i'm a red one here this is actually commenting on rugby and women here we go bill after hearing your show this week regarding rugby where you asked whether or not any rugby player has played in the nfl i d its do some research on the subject but i found out is that there have been several rugby players have crossed over to play the nfl many of their names want ring a bell because it appears they are all pickers and hunters the tuna that came up the most often were ben gram kicker who i think played for the jets and make luck hearst was also a kick played for the falcons from nineteen eighty one to nineteen eighty seven what i found funny was that

we guys who attempted to try out for other positions such as linebacker are running back or off consider too small to slow are too weak to do damage on the field against them larger nfl players i know a lot of people in england are going to flip out about that shit well you know what they say that all the time that american football players are a bunch of policies because they were helmets and all that type of shit will i got news for you is a great article gee q magazine that actually read nine every g q because it's kind of like the male cosmo where you just oh an up and there's a ton of articles not articles as a ton of advertising find where the fuck and articles are and its like cologne i swear to god it does its really awful and really awful magazine but i gotta say that serious there's a woman on the cover this magazine

a wild might be the most beautiful i've ever seen in my life she just ridiculous and i was like i have to read this article about this this female and turned out there was an article in their about concussions and above football players go crazy and killing themselves professional football players and they were talking about my webster the centre for raw the pittsburgh steelers it's an unbelievable article it sir livia wild is on the cover and basically they were saying the helmets possess no one thing i hear these english guys could saying that the euro american for plays a pussy to say they were like the helmets and the paths evidently they all the helmet does it protects the skull it doesn't protect them is a brain sits in like fluid and moves around so when you get slammed in the side of the head and not only mentioned there was saying the way they build these helmets is back on it leather helmets you know back in the days the three stooges days if you want

the guy's play football they didn't lead with their heads because get knocked out but now in an effort to prevent their heads they will basically saying what they ve done what these helmets as they created a weapon and these bob players especially the lyman every play if you watch him they just slam into each other with their heads and evidently doing unbelievable amounts of brain damage and mike what there's brain he basically he went crazy and he couldn't fucker remember shit so they during the topsy they removed his brain they sliced it in half and he place all sign of this why i don't know what they called it but it was like god they said should have been the brain of like an eighty nine or nineteen year old guy in the sky died at fifty so i'm not saying that rugby geyser pussies or anything like that i was just given people shit or whatever but i'm just defending american football players say

that you know just because they have that fuckin helmet on you don't owe me i find that really interesting like you say so is watch guys were right motorcycles my duty i e a fuckin my jewelry brain damage you're gonna get if head slams off curb like gary busey did and evidently obviously you know if you weren't a helmet you are you protecting the euro from literally putting a hole in your head so should wear it but you know i'd never really dawned on me obviously cause i'm a comedian and not a fuckin neurosurgeon that just because could have a helmet on in your brain you can have just as much by think basically just as much brain damage i think what you would have to have some sort of like her shell in the middle and then eighty feet of nerve on outside of our spongy fuckin material on the outside suited to its would have to start to slow your head down before came to the to the

what i'm trying to say i think beyond a certain speed it doesn't make a difference whether you have a fuckin helmet on or not because brain is gonna slam against the insidious skull so fuckin hard not gonna matter and they that's coming from a comedian so you know it's a medically accurate alright let's move on here and once again to those people and i have no disrespect rugby guys a fuckin tough sons of bitches i've no but no no questions that but you really have to stop saying that american football players are pussies because they have pads on fuckin guys at you know you wouldn't want to play rugby against and put it that way right out ploughing had here right bill i use also stated some some ways you can tell when you ve won an argument with the one stuff like the crying and when they begin to to switch your words a talk about past topics in the middle of an argument yeah they bring up other shit you did because they're losing the shitty talking about right then and there

guys do that too but anyway what's plough ahead here he said well i have a better one on my way to work my wife and i were arguing over me hurting her feelings because i came home from a ten hours at work and three and a half hours of night school just wine to go to bed so even though my sexy latin woman wasn't it was was ready for some action i simply took a shower crawled into bed next to her and went to sleep needless to say she was passed so this morning we were fuss about it and she says that really hurt my feelings because felt like you didn't want me and he said and i dont know what what came over me but instead of being an angry black i simply smiled grab grabbed her hand kissed it calmly said in a soft voice now you know how i felt last week and she said absolutely nothing you just stared at me like she wanted to start the waterworks but she couldn't get

calling i dropped her off at the off where she kissed me and actually apologize i smell the entire way to work well i actually thought she was gonna get mad because that was kind of hard to where you set it that's like stand up applause break stay call me well now you know i fell last week a fuckin twat that's all i wanted delivered if i guess you set at nice and calmly bulgaria you know that it's kind of fucked up that's why the things that i have found like a relationship is are you gotta watch out because for the most i think i would i would venture to guess what doing a survey as always i would venture to guess at ninety two percent of relationships women controlled the sex because guys will do it basically whenever i really so like a hockey commedia guys we don't give a shit movable but it seriously and they we cannot use it as a they start using i still bit about that as a reward you took

the track here a good boy you're like a hand job you know you can't do that if you want to equalize you know whole sexting your relationship you why you got it you continue to rub one out every once in a while so that way you know if they don't want to have sex and you're like that's cool you know that you keep it keep out of any than you create no war say that what you do is next time they want to have it then you act like you don't have it that's not the way to go about doing because any start playing games with each other but you probably should say is out just basic what i've said the one which is oh yeah but which is exactly what you said that you have your fuckin life figured out your fuckin single four year old psychopath once again i want to say don't ever listen to what i say on here you know i am not a trained person and i'm worried at some point so i was going to take my advice they're going to get punched in the face and i'm going to get sued so you can understand that you're talking to a comedian here be read three books in his life two of them

had pictures on every other page right that's that's what you do not wish i'm telling the big thing with women is if you want to get your way is not to get mad not to play a fuckin game with them you just have to tell them how they are doing is making you feel they can't get around it if you have a legitimate complaint you know if you get some ridiculous like a put your ass you won't let me it's really make me feel like you don't trust me a minute i think you're gonna lose out one but jesus so you're back on track if you fuckin economic some serious like that we just like look you know i feel like it tom you want to have sex unwilling but this

not at times i want to have it in you don't want to have it and now soon i kind of feel like this thing that were allegedly sharing together you you totally control and that doesn't make me happy thought but whatever you for via the fuck you say he said calmly without saying fuck i'm telling you what can they do they go sit there an answer and i can guarantee that that'll work are good for you for at least three fuckin days before it slides back to normal again it's enough fight are right but you gotta do is you gotta have the fights you gotta have the fighting tat your real estate and spent spend your entire time and go line fuckin d so fucker relationship you ve got up so many fuckin the whole time it's fourth and go first and go when we talk about first and fuck and go jumped off side sorts half the distance to the fucking go we got it built you're in a bad situation our right that's all i'm saying ok

see under the podcast thank you have for listening all right here's what i got coming up be it the stress factory in new brunswick new jersey coming this friday saturday and sunday will what are the dates well why don't you hold on a second i'll get him for you god knows it go on the fucking internet gonna be on friday we're second oh my god where is this year going saturday october third and sunday october fourth i am going to be at the store factory new brunswick new jersey fans of opium anthony and germany jiminey rating program i'm going to be on their on friday september second believe monday i myself friday october second and i believe monday october fifth those two days i'm going to be in studio with my as friends of all time in radio the opium anthony

oh really excited to see them sons of bitches again and after that i am going to be at the improv in pittsburgh pennsylvania on october eighth october knife and october tenth and i will be with randy bowman on dv value pittsburgh people i will be on the morning radio programme on october seventh eighth and ninth so please listen

and in that is it i appreciate all you guys listening to my podcast i apologize that i had to put this one up on tuesday but i'm fighting the man man alright i'm fucking with you guys all have a good week god bless all you take it easy