Welcome to your daily affirmations. Repeat after me, working with others is easier than ever. I strive for purpose. - It's getting better. Yeah, affirmations are great, but Monday.com can really get you the teamwork you desire. Work together easily and share files, updates, data, and just about anything you want all in one platform. Affirm yes to start. Or tap the banner to go to Monday.com. - We have a lot going for us in Fall River, Massachusetts. Historic charm, great bird watching, and an Amazon warehouse. MJ works there. She got healthcare on her first day. - For me and my kids. - They're a big birding family. Jose is doing a free tech program. His career is about to take off in? - Software development. - Full and part-time employees are spotting opportunities like these all across the country. Good for employees.

Good for Fall River. Amazon. Every day better. Hello and welcome to the best of My Dad Wrote a Porno. Today we are delving into all things Rocky Flintstone, not his writing. The man. Mind, body and soul. - Indeed, the myth, the legend. - And what a mind, what a body, and what a soul. - It's him actually, I haven't seen him in a while. - I was wondering when was the last time you guys saw him. Yeah. - How's he, probably last summer or something. How's he doing? In Brazil, obviously. - I was gonna say, I assumed. - We do email occasionally. And without me asking, I do get an update on the temperature.

Brazil always. What he's been doing that day, often sunbathing or actually he's doing quite a lot of DIY. A lot of work. They had a termite infestation because I guess they haven't been there. Since pre-COVID I guess so the house was in a bit of tatters. Well and obviously this week or recently. At least it's been a carnival in Brazil. - Carnaval, yeah indeed, yeah. - I'm sure he's been wearing a big feather headdress and dancing around the world. That'd be more covered up than we're used to seeing him in Brazil, isn't it? He's usually quite scantily clad. It's the only time he wears clothes. Yeah. But no, yeah, he's good. - It's mad to think of him because obviously he is an eccentric Irishman in Brazil. Like he doesn't Scream Brazil, does he? - But then he comes back and he's super tanned and he's wearing the outfits and it's just like, that's where he was always meant to be. Spiritual home. He's not Brazilian but he thinks it. Knows it? Knows it. Some bastard. Of his work. Yes, but I thought before we get into the best of kind of clips of dad and the stories we've had of him over the years, that we could maybe talk about a few

Our favourite memories of him that we haven't ever told on the podcast. Oh, these are the more valuable bits I would have saved for my autobiography or something like that. Right, exactly. Yeah, your intimate relationship with Rocky Vincent. Okay, fine. Or a tell-all book that we do on Rocky one day, or maybe even just a tabloid splash. Oh, in Bella magazine. We could do a little tie-in, couldn't we? So I was going to go first because there's a story. I can't believe I never have said this on the podcast. And it was one of those things I had to text one of my sisters about just to check that it did happen. Because I blocked it out and you'll see. I don't know why, but it's so oddly fitting. Uh oh. Years ago, I was only about 14 maybe, 13, 14, we were driving to France on vacation. That better be in there, flunch better be in there. Oh, lunch is coming, don't you worry. Um, yeah, we were driving to France and it was in the dead of night, because that's what Dad liked to do, he liked to drive throughout the night.

You know, maximise the holiday blah blah blah. - Is he a safe driver? Is he a slightly like-- - He's a good driver actually. - Is he? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Does he drive very fast? - No, he's actually all right. He would not stop for any sort of toilet break or refreshment break ever. - Phenomenal. - You would have to just like sit in the car and like, well, you're in it for about nine hours, so. It was at night and I think we were all kind of like asleep, like dozing off. He's just driving and he was listening to an... Audiobook that he'd I think borrowed from a friend. - Oh, how modern. - Yeah, and then all of a sudden in the novel, the woman character starts. Get aroused and she moves over to the male character and undies her. Buttons his trousers. - Oh sweet Jesus. I wish you need to do that. - Oh, starts sucking him off. No described in excruciating detail. It's true. This is true. Honestly, and so we're all

asleep and we're like am I dreaming this? What the fuck? And I'm like, we didn't switch it off. Is your mum asleep at this point? Listen, mum's asleep. We're all just like listening and I texted my sisters to... Be like, did I imagine this? - To paint a picture for people if they've forgotten, there's about 30 Mortons. So there's a car packed full of kids. - Opening scene of Home Alone, when they were all like counting them up for the drive. - So one of my sisters was like, Yes, this definitely. Happened I'm so sure I totally forgot and then somebody else was like I remember this in caps locks. Oh my god. And they were like I can't really remember the details but I think dad was quite embarrassed. - Switch it off. - Honestly, that's almost like in between playing and people bizarre fruit. Not that embarrassed. I don't know. Because he did love one track over and over, didn't he? Famously. And then someone's like, It was so... Late he thought we were all asleep while I assume he did / hope yes mum's feet were up on the dashboard I mean

This is saying a lot about our family travel. - Sorry, I know this is a tangent, but how on earth did your mum have enough room to put your legs up onto the dashboard? I'm quite partial to that position. Yeah, and the cars were so heavily packed in with shit that the footwells were being used for storage. Your hoofs can go into like... I don't know, but there's a child behind you. You're probably crushing them with your seat so far back. No, because what you're misunderstanding is that your body's quite far forward, but your legs are sort of going into the windscreen. Oh, right. And she had stuff under her legs. There was so much stuff in the car. - I cannot stress James, there were 30 orders. - Oh, it's chaos. I feel like there were some of them like hanging on the side. One strapped to the roof. - I imagine a sidecar. - And then I was like, you know, how old was, you know, 'cause I was quite young, so the little ones. Boy younger and one of them was like I don't remember anything apart from just being really confused. I didn't really

I understand what it was. I just thought it was strange. It was strange. It was highly strange. Very strange. And then the other was like, I remember an awkward feeling. And a very soft voice that's trauma right there and I can't believe I've never like On the show it's such an obvious link to the show. - Yeah. - We obviously need to know what the book is. - I know, I haven't asked him what it was. But it was just like a novel that was being read and there was obviously a sex scene in it. But it was so cringe. And also switch it off. Your kids are in the car. You know when a sex scene comes on on the telly and you're watching it with your whole family, nobody wants to be the one to flinch. One switch it off because you're sort of playing a game of chicken. And I guess he was thinking, I'm just hoping it'll end and like, nobody will have detected it. But when you're on a car. ...like that as a kid you're never properly asleep are you? No yeah exactly yeah. Eyes are closed but you're like... Going in and out of consciousness. So literary porn.

Has been in your life? Like, you know, if we made the film, like the opening scene would be this, and then it'd be like 20 years later. Absolutely. Well, I'm a bit like, was that what helped plant - E'd for him that like, but I don't think so. - And for you. - Why me? - Because you made it an audio thing. Yeah. You're traumatising children now on car rides. Right. I hadn't even put those two things together, you're right. Because obviously it was way before podcasting was a thing. Strange. Anyway, that's my story for today. - If you'd chirped in from the back seat and been like, or like, Oh, but she bloody did it! You would have had the pilot! That is a very sad story, thank you for sharing. Car rides, honestly, how did they get through them? So when you say you didn't stop at all for a... I just think about how often the Levine's stopped on a family holiday drive. We'd usually go north... To Scotland or South to Cornwall, either way, it's a six hour drive. We'd be stopping to puke, we'd be.

Up until we... - Yeah, we weren't allowed. - So how long would you drive for? - I remember once driving to Prague and needing a... God. So badly that you know when it just begins to start to hurt? It that long. And I had to get a water bottle. Oh my god. Stop there. - And I know you did it all. I did. 'Cause he wouldn't stop the car. - With all of your family in the car. Hidden. How hidden would it be? You're sat next to eight of your sisters. But when I say the car was packed you don't understand. I couldn't see any of my sisters. How could you see the bottle? It because it would be packed up like literally the bit between seats sky high with bedding with bags with how many there are six of us in one vehicle but that's also six people's luggage six people's you know Jamie travels with three trunks alone six people's we in bottles that they've got

This sounds like torture, like this is the kind of thing, you played the same song over and over again you're not allowed to use the toilet, you are packed, you can't move Ah what a childless Your mum's trotters are like all over the place She'd love you for that, like I was just listening Trotters is your word, don't you dare. I'm using a Mortonism to try and be in the gang. - Little hooves. - Hooves, that's it, hooves. - But yeah, I know, very strange, but you know, character building. Once and didn't stop it's just madness pissed in a bottle pissed in a bottle what a holiday it was pissed wasn't it we did establish you weeding a bottle yeah - Me? - Jesus Christ. - Oh, you mean during the audio book? - Oh yeah, can you imagine? My memory's a bit nicer than yours. - Okay, yeah, go. - Well, like, he's just very good at doling, as we know, from the books.

Like he's very good at doling out business advice. He once got me the Zurich axioms. I don't know if you've heard of this book. It's like a book that gives you kind of advice on how. Play the stock market, I think? I don't know. Like, how to make money from money? You've clearly enjoyed it. I've never read it. But the other thing, like, I think it was your mum and your dad once told me, although they have since denied it. We were like having drinks one night when they were talking about how to make money they were like buy rice I was like what? - Buy rice. Rice is the new gold. - What are you talking about? - I was like, is it? - What do you mean? - Well, I guess like climate change, like food. - Stop saying words, but now words in between. - When was this? years ago but they have since denied it but they definitely were like denied it were like on the record invest in rice and did you?

Why am I gonna store loads of shit, loads of Uncle Ben's? Like, I know you buy it in bulk, but like, where am I gonna put it all? No, I think they mean invest in a rice company in their shares, not buy loads of rice. Oh, I thought they meant buy rice. What, like the way that you would have gold in a vault? You were just gonna have loads of rotting rice in a vault? Well, maybe they said buy cheap, buy twice. - What on earth is going on? - How drunk were you? Yeah. This was pre podcast. - Yeah, this was pre podcast. Yeah, I mean, I never actually took their advice and they have since denied it, but guys, if you want to make money, buy rice. Get that rice. James, I hate to break this to you, but the rice market is... Absolutely soaring. - Is it booming? - It's absolutely booming. - What do you mean? - Well, Rocky as ever has given you some bonkers advice there that has a kind of.

A grain of rice. Oh, very good. There's a question here on Google which says, is rice a good investment? And it says here, you can include rice in your portfolio as a hedge against potential losses. During times of economic uncertainty, investors view commodity grains such as rice as attractive options. Rice is long history and the fact that it's a food staple for over half the world. - Makes it a great long-term play. - But what am I going to do, like sell it from my house? - No, again, you're not story- - Bring it in your back bedroom, James. - Why doesn't he understand about stocks and shares? I just don't understand. - Read the Zurich Axiom, you're about to learn something. - My rocky memory is less of a- story and more of just an appreciation of his ability to not only write indelible characters, but to start indelible traditions. So every year from your dad and your mum, because they share. All of their phone devices, email addresses, all of their social medias if they had them.

We receive a sort of animated, an e-card, isn't it? - It's an e-card. - It's a Christmas e-card. We all get it. It sort of tells me that Christmas is here. It's like the first thing I get, 'cause I usually receive it around November the 12th or something. And it's a sort of minute long. On little video with a Christmas theme. They're usually quite bonkers, aren't they? - Oh, chintzy as fuck. - Yeah. - Yeah. - This year's told quite a story about a boy on a sledge. - Do you actually watch them? Oh wow. You don't watch them? You don't got a minute? Not for that. Jimmy, best picture nominee. Do you know what the biggest scandal of those cards are? That they cost money. No they don't. Yeah, like they pay for a subscription to... To I guess send them. - Because they always, we won't name names because it will make other artists of the card industry feel... Left out but they always use the same artist. Oh yes, they've got a very distinct style. A very distinct style and they have a preferred supply, you know, they would never deviate, they're very loyal. And the music. The music.

- Oh, tinny. - Okay, now you've just been mean. I look forward to it every year. It genuinely tells me that the festive times are upon us. And me and James obviously have much emptier lives than you because I'm watching it from start to finish. - I get birthday ones as well. - Okay, well I don't get those. - Oh, do you not get birthday ones? - No. - I could get a birthday one. - Oh my God, this is just more evidence that he's the- I didn't get the rice advice. I shouldn't invest in rice, I shouldn't invest in this. Is that your own e-card? E-card? I will find you the name of the artist they always use because you should invest in her. Yeah, I would make a fortune. Right, anyway, on to the best of bits. Now, you're not going to just hear from us, you'll hear from... My sister, a couple of other Footnotes guests, and even the great man himself. And there was an unheard bit from the chat that we had with Dad at the end of the podcast.

So stay tuned for that. I bet your dad's booked a Sea Facts holiday before. Well, we did go skiing a couple of times when we were kids. Mum and dad were like, Guys? We're going skiing! We were like, Ahh, I'm going to go skiing! Cross-country skiing. What? Most boring skiing you can do the hardest uphill sometimes. - Oh. - What's skiing uphill? - Yeah, it's almost like hiking meets skiing. And so you're kind of like walking and then there's like a bit of a hill that you have to go. Up and then now and again there's a big hill you can go down for like 30 seconds or something and there was a time that I was I'd finally reached the top of this hill and I went down and then suddenly this figure

Was going really fast behind me and all I heard was Pardon Monsieur! and he pushed me off the slope and I fell down this little hill into this kind of like frozen big... Of late. And he just was like, Parrrrrrrr, mister! My bloody dad. Not Rocky, Flint, S- Nearly killed me on a cross-country ski slope. - But he did say Pardon, Monsieur. - Yeah, we were in the French Alps. - Oh, I love a dope zone. We were in Canada, there was no need for it. - Somebody tweeted, I can't remember who it is, sorry, whoever you are, but they said, Was it a coincidence that Blinderblinked is...

69 pages long. My dad was just loving that. Mum was like, I don't really get that, like, is that a joke? And Dad was like, Oh for God's sake, Wilmer, of course it's... did you And mum's like what is it? I can't bear it and he says it's obvious a a sick... And a nine are the shape of a naked lady. - Aww. - You put them together and they look like a naked woman. - That's right, Rocky. - Honestly. A) No they don't. B) Dad, what are you on? And I had to just be like, guys... Because they were debating this for a while and I was like, I just have to put them out of their misery. Did you correct them? Yeah, I just said guys, it's actually a sexual position, I want to take that home with you and dissect on your own.

Own time. You know that's going to be in the next book at 69. I'm really really stuck trying to work out if it's an aerial view of a woman or like just like a below. - And a style droopy boob on one side and a purple on the other. I don't know. - 'Cause it's almost a sphere, really, if they're together. - That's so confusing. Bless him though. I thought you knew everything there was to know about sex. Really? Have you not read the book? Oh no, you're right. Yeah, he knows literally nothing. James, if I didn't exist I'd question whether my dad had ever had sex, so... I don't know where you're getting that idea. You're adapted! No you're not. Oh my god maybe I am. What a way to find out. Oh my god. I'd be really upset but also quite relieved at the same time. Then the podcast would be... You would not be an heir to the Belinda fortune. Well, let's stop right now. Des Martin's support group has asked, What's your fave, Juz, a breeze?

Of Rocky Flintstone on Twitter. - Oh yes, okay, so this is your dad's preferred reply structure, which is just, J-U-S, apostrophe, plus a verb, like just saying, or like a just doing. - I have two. He was once talking about, I think someone asked what his favorite meal was or something, and he said, Chokey sandwich, just chompin'. - Come on. - Which is a good one. And then someone asked him if he was ever drunk when he wrote the books and he just said, Just hiccin'. I love him. That's right. I just presumed... Oh.

Oh my god! *screams* Just use Rocky's real name. That hasn't never happened before. I'm so sorry that was slipped out. Alice, you are no longer head presenter. Things have really changed. I don't know how that popped out. The police are like, Ahh! You're going to jail! You're going to the clink! - That's quick. - No, he's on it. - Oh my God, wow. He really does have contacts everywhere. - It's six years, I don't think you've ever said Rocky's real name by accident. - It's unbelievable that none of us have. - Yeah, particularly on stage when we're very, very drunk. - Okay, my- - My point was, - My heart's racing. - So boring. It really doesn't matter after all that. My point was gonna be that Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky probably caused a mini-

Bar that on a plane that was wasn't worth it six years down the drain for that shit joke he probably caused the trolley of mini bars or less guys can we get a new Do you know what? I really did think I'd get replaced before six years, so this has been a good ending. When you think back to your childhood with Jamie and the others and the other gals, what's the biggest rocky moment that you can think of? Of where he's been a windup merchant. I mean, I know they were constant, right? - Yeah, oh my God. - I mean, so many. You say that and I'm bamboozled with options. So this is just part of a campaign of trying to- I mean, I remember being teenagers once and I was allowed to have sort of mini, not quite a house party, but a group of people around and we were all very drunk and it must have been about two or three in the morning and mum and dad were out and they came back and

You know, we were allowed in the nice sitting room, so I was obviously, trust your friends. - Jealous. - You know, group of gals and guys, you know, having a really nice time. We were all quite pissed. Mum and Dad came in, obviously Dad absolutely blasted, completely, off his tits. Comes in and he goes, Everyone, I'm Uri Geller. And he pulled, he pulled a spoon out of his pocket and started to try and bend the spoon. To impress my teenage friends. And I just remember thinking, do I go mortified? Or all my friends were killing themselves laughing, going, he's an absolute legend. And that's when I think I just realized he's wonderful. And I just laughed my head off. We're like, how's Yuri? - You've got to embrace it. That's the thing about Rocky. Like don't push against it. Just let, just let it go. - Let it come into your life. - Let that spoon not bend, 'cause it won't. - Family holidays as well. Jamie's always told us about how he used to burn CDs with just 20 repetitions of the same song on it. - Oh yes. - What else would happen on holiday with your dad?

My favourite stories is when we had a caravan attached to the car. So you've got four children and... Obviously our wonderful mum Wilma in the front and the caravan's attached it's all fine apart from dad decides that he wants to take the scenic route uh oh we're going up this limestone hill basically in rural France with a caravan yeah you remember this oh no and I think this is sensible because the water's been high, we had to go over some kind of little Ford thing. - It was like midnight. - And it was midnight. And there were lots of children. I think I was about 16 or so, so everyone's. Than me so this is a you know this is a troop of youngsters it's late at night are you in the car or the caravan as the kids we're all in the car never dare put us in the caravan with the vehicle

Alice is that not allowed driving anyway so we're going up this stupid limestone hill essentially and because we've been through the Ford before the caravan Right, so the camera is attached to it so it's been clunked too much. Gah! Break's done! We all have to run out, we've all got flip flops on, it's the... In France, it's been raining, it's all slippery, we had to try and push a caravan up a limestone hill. Wait, how old are you? How old is this band of mechanics? 16 I am and then everyone's down from that. Yeah everyone's minus three. Yeah. So what's the youngest like eight? - Seven. - Little seven year old. - I think actually, no, I have to say. - She was no use. - They were put to the side. They were put on the verge, the little ones, the little girls, sorry, they'll hate that. But they were put to the side because that was dangerous.

- It was a matter for us to risk our lives, but not the little girls. - Just imagining like little B, like, Oh, so tired, bit of sleep in the car. And that's like, No, get your gloves on. - Pushing the caravan. You want any sleep tonight, you're pushing that caravan up a limestone hill. - But can I just say, we did push it up the hill and we continued on our journey for the next four hours. - We did. - So it was not in vain. - I mean, that's why the Flintstones had so many children, because if you get into those predicaments, you're gonna need some kids. - Absolutely. - But it's literally the Flintstones as well, you know, when they had their feet. - It is. - That's where it came from, maybe that was the inspo. - What an image. Welcome back to another video. Welcome to our channel. To your 2023 work recap. This year you've been to 127 sync meetings, you spent 56 minutes searching for files and almost missed eight deadlines. Yikes!

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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. - Now, a common misconception about relationships is that they have to be easy to be right. But sometimes the best ones happen when both people put in the work to make them great. - Yeah, it's such an important part of a relationship 'cause I have a friend who are a couple and they are really open and honest about talking about their therapy that they do together. And the first time they mentioned it, I was a bit like, Oh my God. But then I realized that is so healthy that they're just so open and they can talk about it. And I guess through having those conversations, they're completely at ease with each other and in turn everybody else in their life. - Because it doesn't follow, does it? Just because you've known people for a long time that you will have covered all of the emotional ground that you need to talk about. In fact, actually being with somebody for a long time often means that things get compacted or they get kind of hidden away for another.

Day because there's lots of other pressures in your life like kids or paying the mortgage or work and so actually if there's a moment when you get to sit down and talk about your relationship in a kind of contained moment the TV's not on the kids aren't screaming you don't have one on your emails, then that feels like a really great gift you can give yourself. Absolutely. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Become your own soulmate, whether you're looking for one or not. Just visit betterhelp.com/mydad to get. 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com/mydad You know what Rocky used to do with us though? Have I told you the story? Did he write it with his left hand?

Oh, on Christmas Eve, we'd all go to bed, and then he would dress up as Santa and creep in to put our stockings in so that if we did wake up, we would see actual Santa. - That's incredible. So I kind of peeked and I was like, oh fucking shit. - That's so magical. - It was amazing. - That's so cute. - So all the dads out there dress as Santa. I've met your dad. You were in the Albert Hall. I mean readers. I have to remember that these people were in the Albert Hall which is enormous, a huge bloody great theatre and it's just them being brilliant with three microphones. I mean it was like... Watching Fanny Craddock all over again. Just someone in the middle cooking, you know. Just people talking. I call that extraordinary. An extraordinary achievement. Oh thanks. That's all. I'm amazed at. That's the thing.

Did he terrify you? Because he kind of ambushed you somewhat in your box. He did. I mean, not feeling his shirt, but it might have been, there might have been. In one too many undone at the front. Yeah, he goes for quite a low, a low V. - Went for quite a low decollete. - Yeah, yeah. - And I don't know, was there something nestling there? What a medallion you think? I don't know. A third nipple? Oh now you're tall. He doesn't do jewellery actually my dad, he is quite classic in that. Yeah, all man he'd say. He was very nice and he's brought me a poster. Of Belinda and her swollen...nips. I mean you can't ask for anything more than that. And the fact that my dad subconsciously somewhere decided to write about women. Yeah. Telling sex from a woman's perspective. That's really rare. I mean how many porn films are from the female perspective? None and therefore there's a huge sort of genocidal.

- There's a lot of ferocity to it. - Sure. - It's incredibly charitable. - Let's unpackage that. - Well, but I think there is a. I met your dad and he's a generous soul. He's got three daughters. He's generous with himself. And my mum's an absolutely amazing firecracker of a feminist. Raises all of great feminists. Not sure where my dad kind of fits into that. But actually, oddly, I think his books are quite feminist.

Yeah, you're right, absolutely. He is one of the great feminist writers of our time. Yeah, you know, from Beauvoir to Rocky. Yeah, there you go. He's literally one tiny little... Don't ever... Little tiny little... It's barely a step, it's a shuffle. He's basically a Bronte sister, he really is. What I worry now is that's going to be in his email signature. Emma Thompson, the greatest feminist author of our time. Rocky Flintstone is a feminist icon. It's kind of the level of disguise that your dad was in that time he came to our show. Oh my god, yeah. Have we talked about that? I don't know if we have for a while. I mean, he died... His hair a shade darker than it usually is which made it kind of ginger because he's got grey hair bit jinge and then he wore those wraparound kind of oak Style sports sunglasses, a very busy shirt and a Panama hat. He couldn't have looked more conspicuous. Also no one knows what you look like so you are your own disguise. My

so fucking livid that day. She was like, Look at him. - He dyed his hair. Think about that process. - He takes his anonymity very seriously. - Clearly. - Well, he did have that look in his eye that said, Don't notice me, don't bother me. - It's a bloody giveaway. - He knows that look well. - Doesn't your dad get obsessed with songs as well? - He does. He just plays them over and over again. and we once drove from Manchester where we grew up to... - Spain, Malaga, it's a long way to drive. - We drove. - Over two hours. And he made a CD for the journey. We were like, yes! Summer holidays, can't wait. The CD consisted of... Angels Carol, which is a Christmas Carol, and he put it on. Seven times on one CD and just play the same CD over and over again.

Every track was The Angel Carols ♪ Of a dangerous kind of a dangerous voices ♪ Ev, we sing you three minutes. - And we just played the CD. - That was literally it. It was like, God, I do love this song. Let's play it again, shall we? Drop. That pre-chorus. My mum was like, is there no Simply Red in the car? Is there no Annie Lennox? No MP people? No? OK, cool. Well hang on Jamie, you were in France recently eating. A lot. Yeah, didn't you go to something called flunt? Alice stop outing me as a flunch eater. Yeah, I did. I love lunch though. Sorry. Sorry. What the hell? It's a staple of my childhood. I used to go a lot as a kid. It's basically Like a cafeteria that you'd find in supermarkets or kind of motorway

service stations in France. - Is it like an Ikea cafeteria? - It is. It used to be really, really good. Kind of one of the best. - Appetaria's going. - In France. - Stop doing that with your serious face. - Sorry, is this the way you went with Rocky? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, Rocky used to love a flunch. - What is flunch though? Because is that free lunch? That's food lunch? - French lunch. - French lunch. - French lunch. It's unclear. - Such an awful word, it sounds like. Blunge or like... - Gunge, yeah. - It doesn't sound nice. Doesn't sound like somewhere hygienic for eating food. - No, much like the setting we're in now. So do you think the Rockies inspired by the flunches gone by? I don't know if that's the right use of flunge, but... Is it a verb or a noun? Do you flunch or is it a flunch? - I think you can go and flunch. Flunch with me? Go flunch yourself. Don't flunch with my heart. Take me to flunch.

Oh my. So yeah, so maybe on this table there could be, yeah, a little stick of shade, of course, some tatty floss. At some style of pedicodeine. Fondue of course. They'll definitely be fondue on that. Il flatant, of course, you know for something sweet. What's an il flatant? An il flatant is Rocky's favourite pudding ever. It's basically custard with a floating... Bit of meringue on top. - Egg white. - Ooh, flopon, sounds lovely. - Oh, that's some real insight. That's got to have formed a big part of his, what he thinks of as a French menu. - It was hugely influential for all of us. - Okay, so she's just gonna eat shit loads of flunch. - You guys must have been like the Brady Flunch. Bad, it didn't deserve a laugh, it's bad. Awful, I mean that honk as much as that hacklet. I bloody love a raclette. I've been to Brazil with them because I used to work out there and honestly, it is a hoot.

You anything you imagine is nowhere near as funny as the actual situation that you get. Brilliant story. To get some kind of rat trap or rat poison or something. I can't wait to come stay. - For a friend! Paul Sherrard, he was doing that, he pushed his lips up, was doing the teeth, was doing the claws at the face. Scuttling along with his fingers along the counter to try and get this product. And then the word is ratos. And that was the word. Same thing happened when he acted out diaries. In the pharmacy, the word is Jiahia. It's literally like, and then I'm like, yeah. Here, here, doing all the pointing. Never lasts so much in my life. Vomito was the same. Spent all the time acting being sick. Repeat the fate. The word was vomito. - Your dad's been trying to palm off a boat to me for the last couple of months.

- About that. - Yeah, he's got this old rickety fucking boat, like no engine, I think the roof's rotting off. - Yeah, that's Little Nelly, yeah. - Little Nelly, that's the one. It's been sea bound for many years has it? No. He told me you just use it to drink hot chocolate in. And a lot of wine. Yeah. At New Year. Fine. And basically he doesn't know where to put it anymore so he's like, James you can have it for free. I was like, I don't want to. I think one day I said I like the sea and he was like, James, you must have a boat. So now he's been trying to palm this boat off to me. But I found someone at work today who wants the boat. Did you? You're joking. Yes, so I've passed it on to them. So now him and Rocky can kind of... Hang on, hang on, wait. It's part of my inheritance, little Nelly. Little Nelly's sailing away. If you want it, you better. - Say goodbye to Nelly, Jamie. - I mean, I don't really want Nelly. I just don't want anybody else to have Nelly. - So were you gonna be like one of those people in the 80s that won a speed boat on a game show and had to have it on their front garden? - I was like, I don't know where I'm gonna put it.

Gonna do with it. You live in central London. Exactly. Dad goes everywhere brandishing his business cards. So Rocky, I actually have one for you. He gave me one. Signed one for you. Has he signed one for anyone else? A couple of people like waiters and stuff. Oh well then, that's fine. So it's limited edition. He like signs the check and he goes, I'll sign this as well. So here it is, this is for you. Have you seen one of these before? - No, I haven't. - There you go. So that is yours to keep. - Oh my goodness. - All of its contact details. Oh, it really is. You've got a direct line. Private number to the leather room. Benefit of the tape, he's just turned it over. I turned it around, and there is the signature.

A very lithe, young, I'm going to guess female body. - She's very svelte, isn't she? A little rib on show. - Look at those pomegranates. - Look at those pomegranates. I'm gonna get that laminated. Immediately. Why? Why do you need it laminated? Never in your mind. He did recently get a new laptop that he bought in Spain 'cause he didn't want to pay the prices in England. All in Spanish so he couldn't work out what was a full stop. Full stop different it's not the same it's quite extraordinary what they're in a different place yeah yeah and I thought you know what if you'd have had keyboard this whole time maybe your writing could have been excused but and so Belinda's now like Belinda Accents all over it. what's the inside

of your shed/pavilion like. We've talked about this a little bit before haven't we? We've all had the good fortune to visit it now haven't we? Yeah. I wonder if he'll describe it as we experienced it. Well he said big. So no. Just big. It's boasting. Is that what he said? Oh my god. It is big but he's filled it with so much crap. So much crap. That there's hardly any room to move. Yeah. There are also so many features of the pavilion that you can discuss. I can't believe he's not gone into them. It's as cluttered as his mind. I think it kind of is like a representation of him as a writer. People won't believe that there's two rooms. Is it three rooms? Yeah! Has it got a secret dungeon? It's got a leather room. Yeah, he's got a bed in there. He thinks you can sleep. I would never sleep in there. It's uninhabitable. Well, I think my dad sleeps in there when mum's throwing him out of the house. So I think it's more needs over desire. Right, sure. James, that's outrageous that they sleep in there at Christmas. I have slept in the pavilion, yeah. It was so fucking cold. There's no heating. There's no electricity.

Walls Jamie. Famously the windows are made of bottles. It is honestly going to be some sort of English Heritage site one day. Should we put the museum in there one day? The Rocky Flintstone Museum? Yeah! How's Rocky? How is he? Oh he's great! Yeah no he's good he um he's just finished building a conservatory. He's already... where's the conservatory? Because that would connect the house to the pavilion. - Brilliant, surely. - It's off the back of the house, like one side of the house. It's got like a big ass now, the house. Oh this is the hot tub room. The hot tub room, exactly. Sorry, what? He's built it with his own hands? Yeah. As always, surely. - Hot tub that he chose is so massive, it just eats the whole thing. - It's like a 10-man hot tub. - Basically, business meetings in the future in the hot tub guys.

- You imagine. First on the agenda everybody. And he's just, bubbles. - Have you tried this thing? Alice, move your eyes, get over here. - Next on the agenda, jets. - Next, lights. - But he's been very worried. - You know that the theft craze that's sweeping the nation this year is hot tub. - People stealing hot tubs? - Yes, I think so. - How? - You'd have to be very inobservant to not notice somebody going, doo doo doo doo through your living room carrying your four, what did you say? 40 person hot tub. - How do you get it out of someone's house or garden? But don't worry, dad's made his conservatory like Fort Knox. So, you've got to get in, let alone out. - Well, it also sounds like he's built the pool into the building, like it's sort of part of the structure of the building. - Was it a conservatory just for the hot tub? - Yes, 'cause you know, obviously, the couple of years we've had, you know, no travel dad furious that he couldn't get to Brazil, 'cause he loves Brazil, as we know. So we thought he'd take Brazil to him.

And it's nice. It's really cool in there. It's just very very very I was gonna say nothing says Brazil like a hot sub in a conservatory Is that part of the culture? They've made a tropical wing of the house basically Has it got a little bar in it? I can just imagine It does have a bar, yeah No Yeah, and some hanging plants. It's very nice To give people some context, it's a beautiful but kind of modest - A house? Like it's not a mansion. The pavilion gives it the sense of grandeur that we've described before, but it's... Family home and I would say now a big chunk of that family home is water. I remember I called him once and your mum answered. - Yeah. - 'Cause he was in the hot tub. She was like, can you call back? He's just in the hot tub. It was like 11 in the morning. I was like, what's he doing? - He's pickled in there. - I cannot wait for the big office day out that we have where we get to go in the hot tub.

Like a scene from 'Will & Deblin'. - Summer party. - Awful. Do you know, the first time he played me at episode of the podcast, I was in Spain with mum and dad and he went, Lectric, just listen to her. They've just made it my life. Magnificent. - Oh! - He was so proud. He, when you were ripping the piss out of him. You were rinsing him that everything it was worth. He was in his tars. Watching him listen. To it is brilliant. Yeah. When I got back and played the Lin episode, he was literally bouncing off the walls. He was so excited. I mean, he was writing. More songs but I've never seen him listen to an episode absolutely adorable because that's the thing we get asked most like how does he take it because obviously we do occasionally criticize him. Um, and people are always like, is he not upset? But he's just, the phrase I always use is impervious to offense. Like he's

He's just somebody who... - But he loves it. - Yeah, he loves it. - And he really thinks it's funny, 'cause he can see his own flaws. He's not stupid. He's literally like, That's fucking-- True. She's got me there. We've all got to know each other pretty well now, so I feel like we've done a lot of critiquing of you over the years, which you've taken very well. I wondered what your impressions are of us. How would you describe each of us to somebody else? Mmm. I think you're a very good cement. I mean very good if you look at a ready mix concrete product Hmm or cement as you guys in the States call it and in the States You're really genius because you don't believe in mess about with this stuff. You put so much water into it that it's really really runny. But you compensate to make it hard by adding extra cement which of course... Is it an environmental disaster? 'Cause you're utilizing more... Sorry guys, I won't go down that route. Anyway.

We ask. Your cement or concrete is runny. Our concrete in the UK and Europe is much tougher, much thicker. It comes out of the barrel of the machine of the truck and forms a nice little cone as it spills onto the thing. Now I make a lot of... Ready mixed concrete in my life. - This is just about concrete now. - And I would say that, Alice, you're the rocks. - The aggregate. - The aggregate. The sand and jamming is a cement and put the three of you together and you get a really hard mixture after 28 Oh, lovely. But it wouldn't work without the water, which is you, Dan. No, I'm the steel. Of what? We want to make reinforced concrete. Right. So who's the water?

- To Dad. - Well, Mum. - Oh, Mum's the water, of course she is. - Oh, well, that's very flattering. - Rocky's harmonica goes with him wherever he goes. I remember I used to live with you and we'd be like watching telly, just watching a movie or something. - They say about you, Whaaaaa! And you just start playing unannounced, unasked. You just start playing the hits. - He loves it. - I wonder if you can do the porno theme tune on the, on the harmony. - Oh, that'd be good to learn. There you go, Dad. Little festive project for you. - If he manages that, should we put that out? - Yeah. Do you know what? I reckon he's got it in him. He's certainly got the free time. Try and do the theme tune, Dad. Do your best.

Wow, that was terrible. To Rocky Plimstone everybody! Cheers! Cheers Rocky! Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. And here's a little bit of Dad's interview that we didn't include in the podcast. Probably for good reason. >> Okay, I have a little game that I thought we could play with Dad. >> We love a game. >> Based on some of the characters. Okay, so it's a game called Shag, Marry, Cruise, Dad. Have you heard of this game? >> Not really. >> So you can sleep with one of them. You can marry one of them or you have to spend a year on a cruise with them. - Okay. - Okay. - A year on a cruise? - So you don't have to do anything. - Yeah, have you never played this version? - I've never heard this version. I don't like the killing one because he can't kill his characters, he's just sad. It's hell. You might-- - Yeah, that's what I mean. - I'd rather be dead. - You don't have to sleep with them, but you have to be with them nonstop. Okay, so.

Let's start with an easy one. Belinda, Bella and Giselle, the Glee team. Right, well I'd love to sleep with... Linda any day because she's my creation so it's not good as she's your fancy - yeah exactly Exactly. Bella and Giselle. Right well Giselle has to be the middle one. You couldn't spend a year with Bella. You couldn't. Oh yeah. Party every night. A year. Yes, yes, yes. Obviously a fun time. Yeah, Bella for the cruise and Giselle for... - Second one. - Oh my God. - Marry, so wouldn't you want to marry Belinda? - Which is hell to good look her, don't get her wrong. - That's true. - I mean she's got alopecia, but I'll sort that out. - I'll have the alopecia. - A lot on a cruise, honestly shoot me in the head. - Okay, the Duchess, Hazel and Mr. Sweet juice. Ooh. Ah, right. Duchess, definitely marry.

Smart. And you're marrying up as well. You're marrying into the aristocracy. Hazel I would go on the cruise with because I think Hazel could be quite good fun. Great company actually. And sweet juice would be the... Shaggy? Yeah, fair enough. - Yeah. - And then the last one, Maeve, Petra or-- Elga. - Ooh. - That's interesting. Um, I don't know. Maeve, Petra, Elga. - That voice, that Petra voice is gonna. Great after a while isn't it? Yeah best get over and done with. Yeah that's my reasoning for the other two choices. Who can I hate the least? We'll shag Petra then. Yes okay and then we'd marry probably Maeve because she's Irish and she understands my strange ways of doing it. But she's evil. Oh I don't care about that.

If you didn't marry people 'cause they were evil, you'd never get married, Jamie. Oh, I mean, that is just a great bit of advice sort of by accident there, really, isn't it? It's like, marry the person. That can understand your foibles. I mean, your politics don't have to be the same. Yeah, she's a murderous maniac, but don't worry about that. - Hump and skunk for days, brilliant. - We should really get a drink in with Rocky. From Brazil which I think is soon he could come to London. Fabulous. Or we could go and hang out in that hot tub. Would it fit all of us in Jamie? - Push, yeah. - Okay. - This is a man who's been in a car with six people. - Fair, fair. Can I just say, I don't want to be in a hot tub at a push. Is that a fair thing to say? That's fair. Okay fine, London it is then. He can come our way. I loved that one. I really loved that one. He is a good act really, isn't he? I feel like Jamie's revisiting trauma for the most part. It was fun.

- Sort of dissociated and zoned out, yeah, okay, fine. - Yeah, thanks for listening and we'll see you soon. - We have a lot going for us in Fall River, Massachusetts. Historic charm, great bird watching, and an Amazon warehouse. MJ works there. She got healthcare on her first day. - For me and my kids. - They're a big birding family. Jose is doing a free tech program. His career is about to take off in... - Software development. - Full and part-time employees are spotting opportunities. Like these all across the country. Good for employees. Good for Fall River. Amazon. Every day better. So it runs all electric? Yeah, for short trips. And can switch to gas for long. Wow. What does your range anxiety therapist say? Dr. Feeny? Uh huh.

No more range anxiety therapy. Nope. Well, you're an inspiration to us all. to us all. It's selling Lexus RX lineup. Now with a plug-in hybrid. Click the banner to discover more. Experience amazing at your Lexus dealer.