Grammy and Oscar winner Lady Gaga talks about the lessons she’s learned as an international pop star, actress and cultural icon. Lady Gaga shares intimate details on how and why she created her famous persona. She also talks about her personal traumas, her daily rituals of mental and physical wellness and how she learned it’s her life’s purpose to help heal the world through kindness. Lady Gaga also discusses why she recently became an entrepreneur, creating Haus Laboratories, her brand-new beauty company.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
We want to give you a heads up that this episode delves into some difficult subjects, including depression, suicidal thoughts and self harm. If these are sensitive subjects for you, please keep that in mind before you listen and if you or someone you know needs help, you can call the National suicide Prevention Lifeline at one. Eight hundred to seven three, eight to five five, I'm over Winfrey welcome too superficial conversations. The podcast. I believe that one of the most valuable gives you can give yourself is time taking time to be more fully present. Your journey to become more inspired, am connected to the deeper world around us starts right now: hello, hello, high! Ok, let's start ok yeah, so this is for our first vote
tell me why you're doing Israel's almost one I've been doing without which had been so kind as safe, Willie embraced House laboratory they beauty companies that have started and I'm very close friends that the auditors, even Gan, I've known him for over a decade and I really wanted to do something special for this issue and, quite frankly, there is no other person on the planet other than you than I would rather do the flat. Now. Thank you Thank you. So, first of all, I just want to say I first, you interviewed you almost ten years ago and Danny ten on the Oprah show, and I could see then and feel energetic lie you blossoming into self. You were at this moment where you were. Wide open to your own self discovery and self expression. I could feel that an
I want to know how have you become more you yourself in the past ten years. I I think after the past ten years, as my career has grown and change, and I've done different things, I've really big very mindful of my position in the world and my responsibility to humanity and for those who follow me, and I consider myself to be a kindness punk look back at everything. I've done and I look at what I am doing now and hunks. You know. Have they showed a reputation for being rebellious right and outsiders and allow of ways. So for me I really view my career and even worse, I'm doing now. Is it's a rebellion against all the thing?
then the world, but I seem to be unkind and what I do is true, my music, through my acting through my philanthropy and through The speedy liner fibre tories, its will you're a billion against the status quo of what is unkind and trying to break the mauled and say kindness, freeze, all things I know till the world. I nettled people, it's what brings us together at its what keeps us healthy and when you look back on these ten years of what you ve done and now what you're doing and what moment do you fields that you most were able to breast kindness, heals all things you now I don't get. You died at West Willie. My relationship with my fans and look under the audience and seen so many people.
That were like me, people that felt different, that didn't kill, scene or understood and then also seeing a lot of kids that fell. Afraid to be open about who they were and it became sort of an existential Experience for me, where I thought about what it means to be an individual and I wanted to fight for those individuals I couldn't in my mind, reckon with this idea of ok, I'm going to make music and sell tickets and they're going to buy tickets, my shows and going to make money, they're, gonna, buy merchandise and I'll make money, and then Just gonna go home and go to sleep in M Bennett,
in my head that equation in a one plus one didn't equal to. For me, it's kind of like all I could do was think about. How could I give back, and what I saw was that I would meet people and they would tell me stories and a lot of stories looked like. I came out to my because of you or I got kicked out of my house because I'm gay and I was homeless but your music in your message gave me the strength to find a job and to survive, and once I heard these stories, I made in this way. Foundation with my mother and yeah. I remember that back in two thousand and eleven in Boston. Yes, yes examined and that what's that was sort of the beginning, you know I have a responsibility to the world. I actually said this other day.
I'm just a media, I said I didn't do this for fame. I did it for impact and then the truth and Oh I recognized very early on my impact was to help liberate people through kindness. I mean, I think, it's him powerful thing in the world and in the space of mental illness. I viewed that's into word Tisch coolly, arts and then dropped out after a year, and I knew at first at my mother pretending to be your own manager and hauling your piano from gig, you knew it yeah well valid. Today coming to let him I don't know that was completely kind. That was a very cunning bad. You know I learned My mom opera, my mom, when I would come home from school if I was bullied and I mom. I don't know what to do. She would always sake with kindness and maybe kill. Em is an aggressive way of saying it, but
Vienna. She meant it in the most kind of ways which you meant was is don't fight fire with fire fight fire with water, is that where you got your moral threads from your mom, or your man in your dad liberals, your sense of your family did mine. Only that it was a sense of kindness and my mothers and extremely kind person, and you ve matter before. Yes, of course, give the house She doesn't have a main bone in her body. She doesn't operate that way. It's kind of like shoot when, when she was aid by the universe. They left the main part out, so we would you say you are actively practicing kindness every day. That's one of the virtues it. You are actively in practice with I actively cracked, his kindness. Every day, and I make sure the kindness is a part of my life all the time I actually also was inspired to be
that way through reading about Andy Warhol. Ah, he always said, please any always said, thank you and his studio factory, and I always thought that was so interesting in a somewhat so much power with so many people looking to them that the power of thing please and saying thank you in and gratitude. So for me, that's a daily practice and there's no one on my team that I work with is no one in the house of Gaga. That's what I call my team there's, no one here. That is unkind. Everyone here is kind to each other. I'm kind to everyone around me and also we also practise self kindness of compassion. I think that that's also important self love,
that's a form of kindness, and so, when you say kind, what does that actually mean in terms you your daily actions? It means other than saying please and thank you. It means you are what I would say at a very minor act of making sure that you are not me me me me me larsa, Nick all the time is right. Things are not all about you. When you are in the world things are about. This is us, but you know I know, and you know listen. I live in a beautiful whirl. I've often say when I wake up here in ten, a barber, unlike inside a painting, liberalising world where people are constantly available to do Whenever I need an, I marvel at that. Having come from where I come from
live in a world where everyone literally is at your Beck and call. So how do you manage to keep yourself your ego in Check York, kindness in full bloom when you have everything in your Gaga world, at your Beck and call, while I can are you what it is for me am. I could maybe a in the best way possible a poetic way for other people to practice practices. Yes, I've been around the world. I've been around the world many times and I have not just been around the world to perform but I've been around the world to do charity. I have seen the depths of poverty of famine, the poorest parts of the world. I have seen people that have absolutely nothing women that have children that they can feed because they don't have food there so stressed
they can't even breast feed their children, their children are starving. I've been to orphanages, I've had children wrapped her arms around me Maybe I'd like begging me to take them home I've done. Demolition work before shows after Hurricane Katrina to help with a woman's home aloft completely. Everything- and I did the demo work myself. So I've seen things that are truly the darkest parts of the earth and yet, What kind of incredible, as even in the surveillance in Rio, right some of the kindest people, I've ever met my life so see the world taught you what about yourself? What it taught me was it
I'm living in a mansion and moral canyon, and I have yes everything at my disposal for people to help may do my job right and same might be difficult and there might be things that are challenging for me, but there are so many when the world who are suffering and what's important, isn't I remember how lucky I am have that gratitude and then Agnes at every single day and spread of, and kindness around the world so that people are aware of manatee on a global level? I want to say, with the things that you have done, the most I think in the best in a way that now lots of people of following you footsteps. We see it all through social media. When you first started the born this, a foundation, you were making a statement
Two people to say the, however you are, is how you're supposed to be now the whole world sort of come along to understand that. I want to know what advice you have for people who are still afraid to be themselves who are living a false life. What do you want to say about a false life? You know, I think that what I would say that Chile is that it's not far off. If you are not yet in the open about who you are, I would have compassion for yourself that you're not ready yet and take steps every day bravery, Mary time, data, someone be brave fry yes, but it's not so easy to practice.
Shame for www, you are, and you don't feel supported by people around you, you're afraid. Shame is powerful and I can say, be brave. I can say in a love yourself, you know, but that's like it's almost instructive and like pandering by, might give yourself time. Allow yourself to take little by every day. That's it. I would say little bites of bravery, I believe one, the slaves on data. We we we strive for a kinder and braver world and to empower people in that way to take little bites of empowerment. Take little bites of bravery. Little bites of courage take little bites of kindness, whether it to yourself or someone else. I actually find, interestingly enough, like if I'm having a tough day mentally, I find that it helps me to help from one
So instead of worrying about all the things that are going on in my mind, I reach out to some one else and see how they're are doing, and it takes me out of me and it puts me in a motive kindness and then I look at myself and I say: oh you just help someone. You did a good thing today and then I I feel a bit more brave. That's it. I would say I wouldn't say it's a false life: it said that that a reality and that that reality can change in my lab change overnight. But if you give yourself time in your patient with yourself, it can change, That's actually also I made out. Laboratories should finance, I'm I'm not just talking about, because we are you I now for AL yeah, but guess I'm a beauty entrepreneur But that's how I feel myself. I do my. Why do I feel like this was the time start align like this. What made you feel ready to become a beauty entrepreneur? Why? Not only-
can. I fill a that. I have the time because I wanted to put everything into it, which I do with everything that I do. I don't just like put a company together high staff and have them do it, I said the sailor night, our launch of em. I said my fingerprints are all over this at the crime scene, but I wanted to do it because air had the time to do it and be I. I felt that I had the platform. And had built the foundation around what I stand for and what we stand for, so that when this company came out, it would be a rebellion in a kind way against the status quo of beauty as today, which is in many ways on social media, a competition it sub beauty pageant in a lot of ways. I feel
and a beauty pageant and what I mean by that is not in a demeaning way, but in a way that I think people feel pressured right to look a certain way to be perfect, to show off themselves to be famous for their beauty and I wanted to create a line that was in a where we begin what color right? We began at everything that come out so far and that were putting out his collar. That's a changed my life and I wanted to put our products and things that people could use It is right and put out a message that I hoped would resonate the most. You know that kinda harm could sit quietly, maybe in his room and put some make a bomb. And be by himself and look in the mirror and say this is how I see myself
Maybe my mom doesn't see me this way. My dad doesn't see me this way. My friends may not see me this way and I might not be ready to tell them, but this is how I see me am I wanted to open that door this this company exists in an influential space culture where we say that our house, your rules and everyone is welcome all gender identities so that submission of the line, inclusive of all gender identities. All gender identity is all identities- everyone I won't ever and every age you know at this is for every one. This is a company that is built on the basis of kindness of being inclusive, of being loving and firing, love. Of course. I love to inspire creativity and people, but not everyone necessarily wants to be creative with make up
maybe the might like it and they might not- but I just wanted it truly to exist. How does the line reflect your own style, aesthetic? The line reflects my own style aesthetic and that it products that you can either be very clean are very Matthew S and their very versatile. So that's very me sometimes I'm very clean and very precise. You know have my wing, it eyeliner and my precisely my and read because I like and other times I like to rub. My shadow on my face real greasy in look like a punk and for another aren't onto my hair. You know it's it's it's a line that you like to play some time. And I like to have freedom, I dont want to be told. I should look and that's what I want people to feel for
farmer joy. Is I'm not telling you not luck? I just want you to love yourself and if I can provide things that in some way can help you love yourself at their fall and whether you, where they make up or not, I just want the message of that wine in the beauty world to exist. Every time I share, with friends, everybody wants what. Why did you call it house yeah? Well, It was ass. If a guy right, yes and it's actually a plan to things- and we talked about this said the other day, but so our house is functional art from Germany, so you know like a couch or a chair, a clock. That's bow house are that's an invention, its art than that of its functional for humankind, also in an underground ballroom, dance culture,
in New York. They would call the different houses that would compete against each other. They were called houses, so people would have dance off and they would be like called house of something. So we began as house of Gaza and now we became house laboratories, and I also like it because it house implies home. You know your life, I want people feel at home. Make yourself comfortable, we all love, you. Have you been able to see any of the reaction to the line and how's that made you feel I have seen their reaction to it, lion and it made me really happy because, yes, people love the products that are
out of innovation in their good quality products for a lower price point which isn't really really important to me. I wanted people to have the best and not spend what they would normally have to spend on a product like that, but also, more importantly, what I've seen as people love the message and they feel so liberated and I'm seeing so many different types of people. All different types of gender identities coming forward with the main Gabon, whether their copying my looks or doing things completely our own envying, inventive. It's it's been wonderful, the Watchin and, like I said the truth, is that yes, of course, I want people to love the products, their wonderful products, but what I really want is for them to take that message and just injected into them. Hard and spread around the world. Aren't you constantly amazed at the power beauty has to uplift people? I just really
we're being in hospital where women were getting their fiscal is ended in Ethiopia, and handing out lipsticks, and they were literally trying to crawl out of bed to get the lipsticks in women Afghanistan, under their burgers, are wearing lipstick, risky, laid the Taliban doing whatever to them, amazing when they, when they take their workers off with our wearing white. We don't know the ass thing under their yeah, so it's amazing this the power the beauty has. Let Clarion powerful, when I felt so just not beautiful. I was young and when I was lashed college- and I know my parents were like not very pleased with me at the time I said I wanted to be a musician. I worked three jobs paid by and ran and I went to the drug store to buy, make up and eggs
mounted with color, and I looked at myself in the mirror, and I literally made myself- I invented lady Gaga and it made me feel strong. It made me feel powerful and I've suffered from depression, since I was a little girl, but oh, my goodness, like this Who were here about flew out of me? It would lay it like Clark, Kent and Super ran, except maybe Clark. Kent didn't have the mental issues that Superman now does not have for me. It gave me wings to fly and that that also, why refused to change? So, as my career progressive before was even famous when people would say like other make up is too much make up, there's too much better, that this to his over the top blah blah lie? You know for me, I was like this is my life force. This is what helps they fly.
And you're absolutely right. I remember a few times after shows where I met some children that have cancer that had no hair I've, given them my wigs and you can't land, like I'm or I'm sure you can, because you ve seen the look on her face. They just transformative. They laid up with happiness because they feel that something has been taken from them and it is a way for them to take it back. Beauty can be very powerful and it doesn't have to be because you're, gorgeous and near a model, makeup and up can be, can be powerful because it just makes you feel just a little bit braver and it's like sort of like saying. If you don't, beautiful on the inside. Maybe I can feel beautiful on the outside and then look at myself. Then I will find that in her beauty, that's how I found mine, it's beautiful,
I must say you have perfected the art of the shocking and dramatic entrance. There I mean my god, this year's at ball. You and Brandon Maxwell, so fat view less. But do I'm wondering do you feel pressure to constantly outdo yourself? Do you look that early success in some way or is it. Tackle on you in any way, not anymore. I used to opera. I mean I've gotta level with you, like one hundred percent, I used to try them rob. My brain is happy as I could about what I could do to. I would always glance at having shocking when I used to say shock art performance art, but I would use the word but muse, which is like basically pudding body into the sea this confusion where they can't look away yes, because there, so I think we did that. Looking at yes, yes
yeah. I got used to just go like what. What are you gonna do? Next, when I get an inextricable the ten minutes after the meat did after the meat, did you feel that way? I dont? What? Where do we go from here? Will the meat? Just quite frankly, I didn't think it was going to be a shocking to have one as it was amazing but that's just me. You know I. I have a sort of eccentric brain. So for me I was like, of course, this makes sense. You know I'm showing up I'm showing up to make a statement about don't ask don't tell I went to the event with soldiers who were discharged from me army because they were out, or they were found out and to me if you're willing to give up your life are country, does it matter what your sexual orientation is? What your gender identity is, you note for me, it was like flesh is flesh, so that was the intention of the meat dresses. For me, that was
shocking. It was shot to the world and then I went. I guess I was shocking, but then yes, I felt the pressure to keep up with that at some point, because I was sort of like I started to look I myself did in the mirror of the audience. You know yes, a split off then that went away and what happened was. I think I am. I have to say it's quite recently. After doing a star is born and working with Bradley Cooper and my experience even with you know what an Oscar slightly I just want to myself. You have a much greater mission on this earth than to freak the hell out of people. You know your mission is to bring people joy. Your mission is to bring people kindness. Your mission is
to give people a form of love through your art that list them off. You know that moment at the mad cow affair branded Maxwell that was meant to bring people joy, and you know it wasn't about look at me and my best dress right now it was not at all I mean it was all about. You know firstly with the theme of the the night was, which was camp and in a camp, is essentially insistence on talk from notes on fashion. She says that Europe can become camp over time rights, the things that were once not camp were considered to be normal as time passes if you wear them than their camp. So if I was to dress like someone from the sixteenth century all the time that would become so for me in Brandon
We started from the intellectual space and then we go ok. Now. How do we make this joyful? How do we do something that when I walk there red carpet, everyone is still there. Joy and I just elated by the happiness and am to me that's kind, that's using art in a kind of way, and I think you did that. Thank you way, so well received you know you put so you were mentioning stars born you put so much energy into stars born and then became one of the biggest movies of the year. What was it like when it was all over you feel let down. How did you say goodbye to both the character of alley and the whole experience or actually the character of stayed with me for Long time I had a real live a lot of my career, doing RO? I also come from making many experiences of alcoholism and
my did. You were good citizen batten. I didn't work which is in that sense is incredible. Wonderful amazing, amazing, acting teacher in common I or color to I worried, as you suggested, an incredible an hour for their issues with me every day and said I couldn't have done it without her and also Elizabeth Camp. Who they no longer with us. I did a workshop with her as well, so it took me a long time I I become the character. I don't know how you feel when you act but for me I I dont view it as filming a movie. I film it living the character, moment in my life, so thick it. So I I I will If it all again- and it too, a long time for it to go away and when I wonder therefore, a shallow, robust song for a film you know I I looked at it and Arab
order asked me when you look at that asker. What do you see- and I said I a lot of pain and it wasn't lying in that moment, I was raped. When I was nineteen years old repeatedly, I have been traumatized in a variety of ways by my career over the years from many different things, but I survived and I've kept going When I looked at that Oscar I saw pain and never, I think, I'd another anyone understood it when I say that in the room, but I understood it. And now, as time has passed I needed it taking you to get there at the pain that you had taken to get there, because you know when you're raped, particularly repeatedly at the age of it happened to you too. You would have PTSD for years about that.
Features day. I have pity on me: I have a chronic pain, neuropathic pain, trauma, response, weekly part of my life, I'm on medication. I have several doctors. This is how I survive, but you know what Oprah I kept going, and I was a kid there or even that adult out there that's been through so much. I want them to know that they can keep going and they can survive and they can win their Oscar and even if they look at it- and they see all that pain at some point, I now have it in my kitchen I now have it and I look at it and I see it standing tall say you know what so you are still standing and you I wanted to say I did then people as I can, because I've been to the grave and back
And I really believe and the ability to heal, but what I will say is I'm surrounded by kindness and surrounded by kind people, and they reminded me to be kind to myself, and that was how I was but then look at those that Oscar look at those Grammy son. I have nine Grammy's and lent kitchen know either it turned into them italian. I look at them and I go. You know why you went through all of that and you might feel. Well, banged up Sundays, but you know what you're still standing still standing, you're still standing
and you still guiding and you're not going up and now. My purpose is not to figure out how to keep shocking people, but for damn sure my purpose is to spread that message of survival through kindness, kindness to yourself. I missed. Others taking those little vice of bravery every day, little bites empowerment every day, that's how you survive and also I would back into anyone to try when they feel ready to ask for help, and I would back into others that if they see someone suffer, to approach them and b that kind person in their life and say hey. I see you, I see that you suffering I'm here, is her. Marriage is the greatest thing greatest gift I think we can give to eat. There I mean that's, why I think avatar and aims. Cameron is is, is one of the wizards of
our generation because get that message of I see you. There is nothing more powerful than that. I have to agree with you nothing more powerful than there really is. I mean that it will work with suicide and self harm, and this is a bit like a quick mental health run down of ETA yeah to recital ideation or self harm origin As I know it, Erewhile have girls TAT, so many girls My mom- and I always say tell me, don't show me because I struggled with that- and I M actually not opened up very much about this- that I will tell you, because you have a very giant following- and I think is an important thing for people to no one here, but I've been cut her for on time and the only way that I was able to stop cutting and self, harming myself,
was to realise that what I was doing was as I was trying to show people that I was in pain instead of telling them that I was in pain and asking for help and when the switch went off for me and my head that the cutting did not make me feel better you feel better for two seconds. Many then you about yourself when I realized that telling someone hey I I'm having and urge don't hurt myself. It's masochism sucking in itself masochism I'm having an urge to myself that defuse the urge, and then I didn't feel that I needed to show, because I had someone next to me that thing you don't have to show me just tell me: what are you feeling right now and then I could just tell my story.
And I know I say that with a lot of humility and strength, I am not ashamed that that is what I am very grateful that I dont do it anymore and I wish not glamorize it in any way. So anyone that's listening or reading this, I would want them to know that it doesn't make you a rock star to hurt yourself So what I would say is is, if you have those urges Palestine, shall I tell someone, tell someone and and and ask them to listen and tell your story I am an hole and hold their hand and a cry, and it's ok you'll get through it and the feeling it will pass that so my best friend always tells me when I tell her, I feel like I hurt myself. She says, look at me. She said you feel that way. Right now, this will pass.
Did you start at a young age, because all the girls that ideal with started like fourteen fifteen? Sixteen I was fourteen when I started getting better and away for a while and then came back some ways that I would suggest to people that struggle with mental issues or a charmer response or self harm issues or suicidal aviation or thoughts is actually ice. If you put your hands and a ball of ice, really really cold ice water or dunker head in a bucket of ice, cold water, their ways to shock your system and shocks, the nervous system- and it brings you back to reality because what is happening as a junior year, your Olympics,
aspired to the point that you're panicking so hard that you want to hurt yourself, because you want to show someone that you're you're panicking. I don't know how I'm hurting I'm panicking. I need help and if you instead shock your nervous system, it brings you back down and it takes that. Panic just said that as detected lower. That's it slows the limbic system down but we also use db d d beatin. I actually have a teacher. I take a dialectical, behavioral therapy. I did give each of these girls. I think that diversity is a wonderful, wonderful way too. Mental Health issues in the way of learning less so many girls at my school. Yes, it will.
We'll strong way of learning how to live, and it's the guide to understanding your emotions. You know, I always think about like it. If I'm thinking something, for example, that extremely not self loving right I'll make a list and I'll a list all the things that I'm thinking and for right. They think I'm feeling than almost all the things that I'm thinking and then I say, ok check the facts, and so I read all those things- and I say, are these things true. And usually those things are not true. So whatever I'm, laying I dont have the evidence to back it up and then makes you bet it's actually a dvd practice said then makes the mind. Go! Oh ok! I'm feeling this way, but if I checked the facts that the truth, this is not the truth. Like yeah. This is the story, I'm telling myself I was thinking. I don't deserve, love right,
and then you write down all the things you check the facts we will await with. None of these facts support the fact that deserve love, none of them. So then you go okay! Well, I validate this feeling that I'm having, but there's no faxes support it. So I need to know I need to go function and live life from us. Dvd. Does it's like in a go? Take a bath go work out, go smell, annoyance that is different from what you like go eat eat something you would normally go take a walk. Go exercise is lots of different things, a dvd teaches you and then there's also mental health first aid, which is something for the swift and based on this pudding in schools around the country, and that's my that's my big dream. Oprah, I won mental health. First aid in every school, immoral needs to be needs to. That's a much bigger conversation. I want to ask you, though, have to ask one question about Bradley. I was sitting in bright.
His kitchen. The other day he was taking of his daughter, and we were ordered some take out food, and it was just wonderful to see him lean into the dad thing and we were talking about the capacity he's a view saying. Isn't he a beautiful father is a beautiful father and person? he's all the way and we were talking about or all the rumours about you guys last year he said if, if they had been true, he never would have been to look you in the eye sitting: and then you said you had a gilt would have never let him take a will to look you in the eye that Beata. How did you feel about all of that? how they got all of that at the time you hold it so well, you know I thought I had quite frankly, I think the press is very silly. To be frank, you know I mean we made a love story,
if you think about Fred, Astaire and Ginger Rogers, you know, or you know, even though, a little mermaid and the prince right, it's like are we supposed to make them? I really believe that we don't like each other. I write for me as a performer and as an actress of course, we wanted people, to believe that we were in love? That's the point and we wanted people to feel about love at the Oscars. We wanted it to right through the lens of that camera and very television that it was being watched on and we worked hard on it. We talked, we tops what every movement we want. We worked for days, he first who is sitting here. Then you sitting there. First, I was standing one play something ascending another place than it was. It was. One might then was too has a wee. We mapped the whole thing out. It was orchestra,
It is as a performance- and you know people around with that, as you have out exactly what it did, you would orchestrated get as a performance to evoke exactly what he did at dead act. Is it actually, we truth when we talked about it, we want more yes, we did a good job that people think this is true. It's just that. That's that's how people saw magazines, I guess you know it's unfortunate and its Definitely not you're you're a celebrity over. I mean not to me here to me your powerhouse angel. There were all very blast you know how it is in our people. Just I do. They saw a magazine. So let me ask you you: do you like being single now, would you prefer to be in a relationship so thing thing do. I prefer to be in a relationship I like to be in the right relationship cookie, and what do you look for in a partner would
you looking for a sign to partnership for me I M looking for someone who loves all of me all the parts and I'm married kind person, and I want some one who sees no schism or separation between Gaza and Stephanie, because they are there in person, and I am proud of that. You know it took me many years to be able handle Gaga. And go she's me too, because she was really built out of trauma. I built lady Gaga after I was raped, though you know at some point I kind of had a look myself in the mirror, dressed as her. I'm go. Ok now you gotta understand me: you're, both you're, a survivor.
And this is where you are, and it's ok and I'm not looking at a victim anymore. I'm looking at a survivor and I want some one in my life that embraces all of those things and that love the survivor in me. While then that will come. That will happen when it is supposed to when I suppose, when is put your favorite part of the week of young every part of the week of your weak yeah, honestly, my favorite part of the week as well, I got a long time with my best friend bow she's, also by managing director, but I have known her since I was four years old.
And when we get to this thing out and spend time together. That's my favorite time of the weak. Well, that's what I was going to ask you to who's your go to person the people in your life. You can trust your friends. You hang out with that would be both would be about. I would also say my sister in our own eye, sister Q. May well grounded and she's a really remarkable woman. You know she's so immensely talented as an as a designer as a costume maker, jar as an animator. She does suddenly different things and she's just a cheese, a beautiful sister. She supports me and every single way and with clear that I have had in the last that I've had. I can't imagine having her, not in my life, just having that's that support how if each of your bed
members dealt with the impact of your famous. It made you closer in fame at first. You know it, your part a little by right because you're gone loud tigers among, I would run a two and a half year tore at one point that was difficult, but at the end of the day when I go to New York and I'll, be there at my father's restaurant or in my parents kitchen and tie in food, and having wine and it's the german Addis or an italian family, and then at the end of the day before it ends up- and you know they see me is who I am and what's nice as they call you, what do they call you they come Stephanie, ok, you know every once in a while. My mama call me algae in, or Gaza
my dad well once in a while, but never my sister, never my sister, I'm staff to her forever. I'm really focused on well being and wellness right now. Do you have daily rituals necessary for your own emotional, well being your physical wellness, what short which your daily ritual! the thing my daily Rachel S in them, our name I like to go outside and have coffee and set like and nature bet. Just about some time. You know with like this. Guy in the world. I know everybody has an have that luxury, so I feel badly saying that, but even if they can go for a walk or something I think that's really running about a little larger riding over oh yeah, yeah bad. So I set out eyes. Then I either order,
either I exercise first and slim, and then I have terror, because I do a therapy call almost every day to take care of my head because I have neuropathic pain. Any stress in my head goes into my body, so it it's very important for me to keep up with my therapy so that I can be as clear as possible so that we can keep me out of any any pain or, as as possible, but I do live with low grade chronic pain every single day. That's the problem is not my Algerian on earth and then after a therapy. I have my work that I do I'm and my passion. You know it, so it's either
making music going into the studio, writing poetry having and how flags meeting building our laboratories I've been doing, select sets its lack of photos. You know casting the casting the shoots making boards and very old school with this company. It's very funny. My seat, Yo Benjamin's, bought me an Ipad because he said this is faster, timid boards and I said, I'm off goal. I can't do it this way, so I work with this wonderful woman farm who, as part of laboratories team and she is incredible and what we do is reflect photos we print them out and then we'd make mood boards together and we we create
how the website will lock what the photos will be. We choose what makeup gone. Who would do that? Also with Sarah TAT are global, artistry director and that's why we're? I work. I do that I work and then I wind down and have a glass of wine or two and I go to bed and Watson. Silly television yeah what what's your favorite thing to watch these days, I'm waiting for the crown, come back. I say. Oh, you know it's really funny, as my sister got me into this cartoon, it's like an adult cartoon by its called Bob's burgers. I've heard about that I heard about it, but I just can't watch it of money. It says it is it's a very funny show, and it's about it.
Family that owns a burger restaurant and my sister and I watch it together. So I think I watch it because it reminds me of my sister, I wouldn't know What did you once believe was insurmountable and in the end, the solution you realize was so easy. I once believed that there was no way back from my trauma. I really dead. There was days Oprah where or I should say days, there were man if not an entire year or I could not off the couch. I was in so much pain and physical icicle, an emotional lamentable. I was in physical, mental and emotional pain, medicine works but
You really need the medicine with the therapy for it to really work, because it is part that you have to do yourself and said the medicine kind of got me to appoint, or I could get a little stronger, so that I could get a mental illness. The fibre, my Algeria, mad mad clarify, is as favouring I'm Burma out, although others theres many different theories about. RO? My a lot of people think that Fibromyalgia is a syndrome that is often a mixture of many things and one of those things in particular my psychiatrist believes, is trauma. Or abuse, though, for me, my fibre, my and my trauma respond. They kind of go hand in hand. One feels a little bit different than the other, but they're they're both a
either mental anguish or a mental anguish and then also a physical pain, the fibre for me is lighter pain. The trauma response is a much heavier pain that actually feels the way that I felt after I was dropped on a street corner after I've been raped repeatedly from on, so it it's the same feeling that I have then I took a recurring feeling, so there was a time when I was on the couch,
four. I mean at least six months, and I looked at my best friend bow all the time and I was just like I'm never going to get out of this and I'm just going to die like I'm not going to live and I'm afraid of myself I'm afraid of what I'll do to myself, I'm in so much pain. I can't live this way, I'll, never feel better and she just always used to tell me just hold on and just keep
in the work, and we ve got to Anna had kind wonderful people around me even following the work that has laboratories. She was there with me too. What sort of an out our patient work out of a clinic where they helped me, and it was because I had a psychotic break. So I had a psychotic break at one point and it's not funny because it's the worst thing that, while not the worst who has ever happened to me that one of the worst things ever happened to me, but I was brought to the e r d urgent care and they brought him who is now my psychiatrist. I dont want to expose them at this moment because I think you fourth fears. I'm just gonna and he's gonna yeah bear him for the moment, but I remember they brought him into the room and I said I was screaming, and so can somebody bring me a real doctor.
I didn't. I didn't understand what was going on, because I my whole body when it I fully dissociated, I was screaming And then he come to me down and gave me medication for when that happens, that medications called the lancet I am familiar with that. I have hundreds of girls, so there's no You can tell me. I have not been through an experience, our guys, like a landed in London, one of the drugs that I take. It probably the most important- and it helped me that day and that man and all my friends they saved my life while they really dead and all in all, I can say is that anyone that struggling with this, you can do it. I promise you
The worst of the worst can happen to you, but I would ask you to describe a moment when you experienced true race. Did you feel that moment of getting back into your body of coming back into your mind of the psychotic break then returning to yourself was that a moment of true grace, I have the Austin. Up all the time I don't I don't want to lie to you or to the world. I don't live in a state of total bless all the time. It's just simply not me. I do struggle on a daily basis, but I do have moments of major gratitude every day where I pray and they say. Thank you. And ice? I surrender myself in a whether you believe in God or the universe or whether God is. What manner a sound
I worry, and I says I surrender this pain to you and thank you because I think that actually what I try I do know how to answer your question. Opera. I think I knew that I would be ok when I came to the realisation that I went through this pain for reason, and I think the reason is because the universe or God wanted to show me something something more than just seeing what is hard and world but experiencing it. So then I could know we'll pain, will suffering and redirect. My spirit and my spiritual I'll be in my to help as many people on this planet as possible, because that's the beauty that I can make out of bed and come to the realisation that you now come to that, it's not your role just to shock people in the world. It's not my wealth is shot people in the world
you in my role as my role is to open the portal to the other. The Heavens and the universe and the other galaxies and save, tell me whispered to me in whatever language I will decode you whispered to me, how I can help you the world, and I will do it even if it hurts, but that for me, is my purpose and this make up wine It's just another one of those conduit for me. This is another way for me to reach out more kindness and for me to say but I'm doing this for the money would be an absolute. Why? Because, if I do make money doing this, guess what I'm going to do with it I'm going away. Yes, I'm going
where you believe life is asking about. This is my last question. What do you believe life is asking of us? I believe life is asking us to accept the challenge, accept the challenge of kindness, it's hard, and I love the way that we are our history with it very, very grave. History doorway and its unwilling trouble Goran Travel or an, and we have been before and we ve I we will continue to be, but I think life asked us amidst these challenges admits this hatred at missed this tragedy, this famine, this war, this unfairness, this cruelty. Can you be kind and can use thereby well, we ve talked in our in two minutes. I think we have more than what they need and certainly its
a joy, and I can't wait to have a real, thorough conversation about mental health. It's just now. Let me help me I'm anyway I can. I mean it would only be tee with with the girls that you work with education. I would absolutely love to be of service in any way that I can be well. I can chew, thanks for this conversation in your time is how much I love you. I love to you in detail, when rate and you ve been listening to supersede conversations podcast you can follow. Super soul on Instagram, twitter and Facebook. If you haven't yet go to apple podcast, unsubscribe rate and review, this podcast join me next week for another supersede conversation. Thank you for listening.
Transcript generated on 2020-01-09.