An excerpt from the book We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships by Kat Vellos.
Episode 1574: An Excerpt from the book We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships by Kat Vellos
Kat Vellos is the author of We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships. She is a user experience designer, facilitator, social artist, illustrator, and community creator. Her work crosses disciplines, but is almost always focused on helping others thrive by having more creative and connected lives.
Learn more about the book here: https://weshouldgettogether.com/
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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This is optimal living daily episode, fifteen, seventy four, an excerpt from the book we should get together by Cavell OS and I'm just a moloch.
Welcome to optimal living daily or the hotel de podcast, where I read to you from some of the best blogs, I can find anger permission from an sometimes books like today. I'll tell you more about the other cat at the end of the reading. So
now, let's get right to the excerpt and start up
eyes in your life.
an excerpt from the book. We should get together by Caravel off one of the biggest
Planes that comes up when people talk about friendship during adulthood is that everyone so busy all the time Kallas
he was about how hard it is to a liner schedules and make plans to see friends Philip our instruments.
Men twitter feeds, then yeah, it's true
full time. Working years are likely to be the busiest in our lives since they overlap with our child rearing years or grad school years more professional achievement years.
and are being in a grown up relationship years. This leaves a lot of people to see
from the delusion that there too busy for friends must be honest with ourselves. Maybe the reader
were so busy is because
There are also our Netflix binging years in our endless grow.
through social media years, a busy life looks good on paper, but MITS often a pain in the
reality, and it is certainly not a vaccine against loneliness our collective agreement to accept lives.
find by generalised business disorder as it's the only way or the best way to live, is a mistake that cost
in more ways than one research shows that the stress triggered by
Overly busy can lead to fatigue, headaches sleep problems, however
ocean, anxiety and more business can also be fatal to one of the things that the south, for it friendship.
The news is, we can change the rate of business in our lives if we want to and when we can change it.
We can at least change the way we approach it think about it and deal with it
Years ago, I attended a meeting called Oakland Neighbours table each month.
Different person on the organizing committee would hold a lunch in the kitchen or living room and lead a conversation on a specific topic by providing a few
putting questions to get things going today I attended seven or eight of us.
It hastily assembled turkey and cheese, sandwiches and sunny cosy apartment near like merit. The topic was business. Throughout the conversation, we
diverged about how business kept us from seeing other people as much as we like and from doing things. We
do more of. We talked about the subtle social pressure to stay busy, because busy people look productive undesirable. We also talked about strategies to avoid being so
busy and waste reclaim more balance in our lives was a lively. Conversely,
in punctuated by people's confessions, regrets and wishes for a more balanced life
ugly ashore, while later the meetup disbanded, maybe never one got too busy
first started meditating I used to think the best placed to practice would be in the centre of a crowded shopping mall. On black fright it, if you can find her
there you can find it anywhere a fuels,
way about trying to get on busy in bustling big cities. Dumplings
your environment defy it. It might seem like you,
far too busy to fit friendship into your life. But are you really will wake up
every day with the same number of hours on the clock, somebody will fill every
our second with activities, meetings and airlines to run to get somebody will have time to
read a book take a nap or practice the guitar too often we
our activities that allow us to report that were keeping busy, and we just
and play down the ones that make a sound idle. Your calendar is not going to open itself up on his own, so if you're gonna hurry at any
Hurry up and do less want to live a life that feels more free. The way to feel
Ray is to act like you already are. My friend, jet in London, has adopted a novel approach, acute himself accountable for business in his calendar, he's in practising eliminating the phrase I'm busy
from his vocabulary and avoid using that generic phrase as an excuse or Mansour for anything. Whenever someone asked them, how he's been
and he doesn't say I've been really busy. He tells them way
actually been. Spending is time on someone asks him
do something at a time when he has other plans he specific when he declines, if you'd rather exit.
As I go to a movie, won't just say, I'm busy that day he'll say I'm internal state. My finnish schools.
I have a commitment with myself to exercise at that time. He said that this practice makes him check himself to make sure he's not
just copying out by using a vague reply that modern society takes as an acceptable or even
global answer. An additional bonus is that, by being specific,
He was the other person in on more details of his life, but often sparse. A conversation.
Ten or leave them to feel closer to the other person. Wherever I catch myself defaulting to the habit of thinking
I'm so busy, or that my schedule is too busy
Try to remind myself that life is just an ongoing process of things happening.
Wasn't doing the things that happen to already boat in the hours of my life. I'd be doing different things
Every single minute of the day is filled to the brim, with that particular slice of life happening
we can choose to fill a single minute with whatever we want running for the bus. Giving along hug to a friend
Taking our booties, a deaf punk ray a postcard, your friend staring at our phones watch
birds on the telephone line or noticing our breath entering and exiting our lawns. If we choose to spend,
of ours and meditation retreat or at twelve different location, spread. All over town. Those twelve hours will be filled.
the same capacity, twelve hours,
in total. So in a way, business is less about
fullness of our days and more so,
the way we feel as those days passed by business is a choice and a mindset is an attitude
that many of us are addicted to identifying with Anderson,
Did your way of thinking that we are capable of setting aside when we're ready to feel or days and filler days, with whatever thoughts, and I
hence we decide would be more beautiful and fulfilling
you just listen to an excerpt from the book. We should get together by cat values. A real, quick thanks to anchor for hosting this podcast anger is the easiest way to make a pie cast they'll distribute your podcast, for you, so can be heard everywhere: Spotify Apple, podcast, Google, podcast and many more. You can easily make money from your bike ass to with no minimum listener. Ship anchor gives you everything you need in one place for free, which it can use right from your phone or computer creation tools like to record and edit your podcast. So it sounds great download the anchor app or go to anchor dot fm to get started. They get a cat she's, a user experience designer facilitator, social artist, illustrator and community creator. Her were crosses disciplines, but is almost always focus on helping others derive by having more creative in connected.
I have the full tied over the book is we should get together the secret to cultivating better friendships, come by her sight to learn more, that we should get together dot com, but leave it at that for today. I hope you have a great rest of your day. Thank you for being here and listening to me and for subscribing to the show I'll be back tomorrow. We're optimal life awaits.
Transcript generated on 2020-10-18.