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604: The Key to Experiencing Happiness in Life by Brian Gardner of No Sidebar

2017-08-06 | 🔗

Brian Gardner of No Sidebar shares his thoughts about people-pleasing with a different way to think about it.

Episode 604: The Key to Experiencing Happiness in Life by Brian Gardner of No Sidebar (Developing Habits & Personal Growth).

No Sidebar was created by Brian Gardner and is all about designing a simpler life. He and the contributing authors want to help you figure out what's getting in your way, at home and at work. They want to help you let go of distractions, online and off--to turn down the noise that disrupts the quiet of your heart and soul.

The original post is located here: https://nosidebar.com/people-pleasing

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
real quick i recommend listening to the show on spotify we can listen to all of your favorite artists and podcast in one place for free without a premium account spotify has a huge catalog of podcast on every imaginable topic plus he can follow your favorite podcast so you never miss an episode premium users can download episodes to listen to offline wherever and whenever and easily share what you're listening to with your friends on instagram so if you haven't done so already be sure to download the spotify app search for optimal living daily on spotify or browse podcast in the your library tab also make sure to follow me so you never miss an episode optimal living daily this is optimal living daily episode six hundred and four the key to experiencing happy as in life by and gardener of no sidebar dot com and i'm just a moloch the guy reads blog posts to you every single day tell you off to as your life to his post comes from the first of no sidebar which is a very popular
and highly shares simple living blog before we get to it if you enjoying the show please convey sharing it with someone either one on one or on social media every hope it helps and is easily the best way to spread the word about the pie cas so if you like it please let someone else oh that it exists in me a lot but first let's hear jays post as we optimize your life the key to experiencing happiness in life my brain garner of no side bar i come have you struggle with a people pleasing habits you just can't seem to kick consider some ways you can use this habit to your advantage is rare to meet a purse and who has a struggle with people pleasing at some point in his or her life is so survival tactic after all is how learn to thrive in a world that is highly relational and interconnected people who care how other people think and feel are better citizens better spouses better friend
better employers and employees in all around more enjoyable to be around the same i may be hard pressed to find a through and through people pleaser who has suffered the consequences of the tendency focusing much on what other people think feel or need without considering your own thoughts or feelings can we too helplessness depression frustration nan self entrapment if we stop caring about what people think or feel altogether we lose values i cooperation teamwork negotiation bartering and community that have helped individuals and tribes to survive and thrive for decades there must be a weight over on the detriment of people pleasing without throwing out the baby with the bathwater perhaps the best way to put your people pleasing skill to use is to change the way you think about people pleasing in the first place in other words it might help to step back and ask yourself if the things you're doing to please
others are actually pleasing them or if you just wasting energy there are two basic ways this happens the first ways to consider that leaving people unhappy in the short run my actually make them happy in the long run for example in a tea meeting and everyone in the group seems to agree about a topic but you disagree your tendency might be to just go with the flow it might seem in the short run like the entire team wants that from you but what if adding your contrary suggestion actually better for everyone in the group in the long run what if others in the group are sharing or same objections but don't have the courage to speak up what if your objections are important pitfalls no one else in the group has considered yet in this case speaking of might seem like it is making people unhappy or in convened in a moment but weeks months or years down the road you might have those same people thanking you for bringing up your concerns the second way
to entertain the idea that what is good for us is often good for others to when we assert what we want into a situation everyone involved tends to reap the ban that does not the way we naturally think about things but more often than not it is true a great example of this is a man who is miserable and his work but things he can't leave as current position because he's too integral to the organization he tells himself would be to disappoint to his family his boss and his co workers if you were to quit he stays for months or years or heaven forbid gates using the same excuse but the moment he finally admit what he has wanted all long he finds that while his team values him as a person they were wade by his lack of energy toward the daily tasks and could have benefited from some who wasn't unknowingly trying his feed through the work day where you fall in the people pleasing spectrum take a few minutes to consider how you simplify your life by russia
framing the way you think about those people pleasing tendencies no sidebar at work or not there are times when being in tune to the needs of others and quick to respond make you very effective in the workplace of course there are other times when people pleasing can be a deadly habit keeping small and preventing you from using their gifts or even getting compensation you deserve at the end of the day the thing to remember is this while a certain amount of collaboration is necessary to succeed in the workplace oftentimes the most creative progress happens when we stop trying to be who everyone else needs us to be anxious begin being ourselves no sidebar at home it should come as no surprise that people pleasing as a dramatic impact on our families and home lives especially since this is probably where our people pleasing tendencies found their start consider for example the very first
carson you are concerned about pleasing your parents rather than trying to short circuit the powerful paradigms and survival tactics we adopted as young children perhaps the most frame and we can do is learn to notice are tendencies and even laugh about them if we focus on perfection in this area were always going to feel discouraged or disappointed when we can focus on progress on the other hand we might see the changes we ve just to see all along no sidebar in your soul at the end of the day fighting our tendency to people please is an intensely personal and internal battle is ours rules that are at risk and we continually sack face who we are in order to please others we risk losing most valuable assets we have to offer not to mention we sacrifice on personal happiness no one better to stress this point an animal a brilliant writer who never would have moved the hearts of millions with our words if she lived these are audience or she listened to her many haters if you dealing with critics and
it is of your own and is hitting our people pleasing bun check out her manifesto show from brain pickings dot org is possible to find our own power and passion in spite of people pleasing it requires ray acquainted with that self we ve hidden discovering our feelings and needs and risking asserting and acting on them you just listen to the both titled the key to it rinsing happiness in life by brian gardener of no sidebar dot com you definitely can be risky oh yes the stream by thing it pays off more often than not especially if your manner is positive and doesn't come across as contrary and just for the sake of it if you know anyone who might benefit from hearing this post or really any of the others that i near here for you maybe someone is it a minimalism or that want to be interested him minimalism please show the the show them you can show them how to subscribe and a podcast upon on their phone that's easiest way orson them to old podcast dot com slash listen or this
in an apple podcast up on iphones an ipad has a nice sharing feature to you can text or email link clicking on the three dots next to an episode does a simple way to do it to anyway works and social media shares are always appreciated too nice way to give back and help someone else out in the process i'm sure they be grateful for it and i think they'll do of her today of a great son and start to your new week i'll be back tomorrow for minimalist monday with a really really comic
ocean i'm happy to be reading this one i'll see you there for your optimal life awaits hey this is dan from the optimal financed daily podcast which is a lot like this show except more focused on personal financed just in hand picks the best posts he can find from blogs and authors like we're meet safety mr money moustache and more and i read them team five days a week so if you enjoy this punk cast come on over and subscribe to optimal financed daily to and together we optimize your financial life you ve been listening to optimum living daily be sure they hit the subscriber to stay up to date on these new episode and heads pod cast doubt can that's o elsie i cast dot com
give as well as more actionable chips and resources to help you maximize your potential thanks for joining us remember your optimal life awaits
Transcript generated on 2020-01-24.