This is optimal, living daily episode, nine hundred and ninety two, how to grow from your pain, part two by Mark Manson of Mark Man's and dot net and the river, personal narrator, just a moloch radiant, you frozen using blogs and books. Toby optimize, your life entities episode is sponsored by law. Roy Sparkling Water and all natural. Invite and only friendly and flavoured water, with a hint of fruit, essences, perfect You wanna know calories or sweeteners or sodium, but it is your version of water check them outlook. Roy water dot com, or are you fail, social network at Lacroix, water, that's, L, a c r, o, I acts water dot com in today's a continuation, yesterday. If he knew here would be best to listen to yesterday's episode before this one, otherwise be the middle and end of an article only, but if you all caught up, let's get right to part two. And continue optimizing your life

how to grow from your pain part two. By Mark Manson of Mark Man's and done that life after trauma trauma Greece, a distinct book or and after point in our lives. Mockeries moments that will likely never forget the extent that we can experience personal growth after trot depends a lot on the narrative we construct around this before and after point this. Nor while to ruminate about your pain to question the meaning of it all and to feel any combination of guilt shit fear and loneliness, does, can really sock, Yonah planes. Over and over again in your head, like a bad movie, are forced to watch in a theater where you're strapped to the chair, your eyelids or taped open. It doesn't feel real and each replay it was almost ass, painful as the last is like your brain punching itself. Run over again for months or even years on end, but I should be as it is, is actually occurred.

Your step in creating a narrative around your trauma. The narrative you construct will help leads you out of our quarters of your mind and ultimately, to a better place: ass humans, We need to make sense of the world around us and, like I said before, trauma rarely makes sense, as is happening to us So why should that narrative look like while there are a few things to keep in mind number one is not about deserving. Are national, Inclination, when something horrible happens, is to ask why me what did I do to deserve this? Generally, the younger we are, or the worst the experience, the more. We will naturally come to blame ourselves for our pain. We will come to feel that their these something inherently wrong with us and that we did something to bring this issue upon ourselves. The most import step, informing the meaning of our pain, is understanding that is not about deserving. That goes for ourselves, but also goes for others as well, is not

deserving pain is not a zero sum game. If somebody hurts us putting back, doesn't make it better. In fact, pain is the opposite. Pain is contagious. It's like a virus. The more we heard the more. We will feel inclined to hurt ourselves further and to her others. Further our own proceed. Shortcomings will be used to justify further destructive behaviors tat is ourselves and towards those around us is important, recognises and to stop it before it goes too far We did nothing to deserve our trauma. No, they deserve trauma. But deserving is not the point it's just something that happens number to a new appreciation for life. Number one. A close friend of mine died. It immediately made me aware of my other friendships and how fragile and tenuous they were. I found myself making them

Point of telling my friends that I cared about them and that they were important to me decide the effect of actually strengthening some of my relationship. Despite the fact that I had just gone through an intense loss because trauma process with the possibility of our own mortality and with the possibility that most of what we thought was true about the world, may not be it as the interesting side effect Supposing what we ve been taken for granted for most of our lives is extreme pain that hasn't Kenny ability to clarify what actually matters in our lives and remove. Any inhibition or doubt as to whether we should take advantage of it are not number three talk about it now What is don't form in a vacuum? They only exist when their communicated to others reaches a found over and over again that a strong predictor of personal growth following trauma is a willingness to open up about the trauma. Contacts of a supportive social network, find a friend a family member, a therapist, your pet and she

for your experience, your feelings, your doubts and your fears that surround your trauma, get out of your own head in share the shame some of the most profit. And wisdom in your life will come from your trauma, but that was We can never be realised if you don't share it in some form or another. There is this Big minor culture. Around sharing our pain unfortunately disclose Now we're hurting runs up against a number of taboos that we should be positive and pleasant that our problems are just that our problems. And that the self Reliance people means we get what we deserve, but squashing trauma only makes it worse. It festers infects us- and this is perhaps the greatest lesson we can yet from my Angelo her ability to transmit pain into a message of hope and empowerment is what lies. To her healing, not the other way around sharing our own personal pain that allows us to move beyond it basis,

on data just said, and intellectualize are problems to ourselves, but once we share and more meaning out in the world around us. Our pain become something outside of us and because, as now outside of us, we are finally able to live without it. You just wasn't to part two of the post titled how to grow from your pain. By Mark Manson of marred man's and done that he's the author, of the subtle art of not giving a if you can find it eyesight on or on Amazon, its highly reviewed and thank you again to a sparkling water for sponsoring this episode. If you're drinking sugary, fruit drinks or so. Does because you dont, like plain water, consider making the switch to Lacroix sparkling water a healthy? Alternative for you and your lifestyle, my fridges stock and every my business. Byerly comes over been having a different flavour, he's loved all the ones whose try so far, and there are fourteen Lacroix flavors I tangerine lemon and peach pair does also.

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