« Pardon My Take

NFL Week 2 Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes, And An Ernestine Bayless Monday Reading

2019-09-16 | 🔗

NFL Week 2 fastest 2 minutes (2:42). We recap every game from Sunday in a whip around the league (10:42). Does Big Ben see a Vet instead of a doctor ( 40:32), does Pat Shurmur suck? (34:12) Why is Kliff Kingsbury such a coward? Bengals fans hate Andy Dalton. The Dolphins are historically bad (31:07) and the Bears have no Offense and more. Who's back of the week (78:39). Football guy of the week, Respect the Biz, and a Monday Reading about Ernestine Bayless and her new book "Balls!" 

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
on today's pardon my take nfl week two we do the fastest two minutes we recap the entire league no guest mondays were doing it again back by popular demand everyone seemed to like it so we're going to touch on every single game we also have a monday reading a very special monday reading and football guy of the week before we do that i have a new off from the cash app so i'm going to flip it around 'cause the cash app they wrote this ad i'm going to read the whole ad but i'm going to give you the new offer first because it's unbelievable the cash app wants to hook up our friends in the gambling community for football season so tweet your cash tag two at part of my take with your losses and bad beats and they'll select a lucky few degenerates all season long with free money holy shit that's pretty
holy so were brought to you by the cash out the cash up as most powerful way to send spend and save your you know the cash ops number one finance app in the app store what you might not know is that you can also put cash app in your wallet with the cash card it's the only give a card that offers instant rewards and comes packed with premium features even a credit card can offer like bruce you get ten percent off your entire purchase a door dash and even save every time you shop at whole foods or target plus more your favorite places check out all the booze available to you right from your cash app and use them instantly when you swipe your cash card cash card has no fees and a credit check is required to get one just insincere things when you add a boost cash app is also the easiest way to buy sell a deposit big point most big corn exchanges take days for bank transfer become investable through the cash app it takes seconds invest as little as one dollar and boom you own bit coin welcome to the club download the cash up now through the app store google play store now and get your cash card for free tweet cash app your cash tag to add app part might take treated as well
and some of the hook up some with some bad beats and losses and download the cash app with referral code barstool annual receive five dollars and another five dollars will go to the aspca a true win win so download now ok let's go
it's part of my tape presented by on bar stools welcome the part of my take presented by the cash app download it right now use code partially get five dollars to yourself five dollars a s p c a a true win win today is monday september 16th week two where it's good to be back teach behind a paywall boom just like we always hoped we starting diarrhea chili town where the 49ers faced off against the nfl league leader in passing andy dalton job
mix in a water looked hungover sunday averaging one dot five yards of rush was it friday because debo samuel showed up and stole the show jimmy grappa go feasting all over cincinnati like it was a san janeiro hey boom who put on this is spaghetti in my sentiment in my chili i think i got to the diarrhea what no moon hits all ride like a big spiral pie that so more george skittle tasted the rainbow in the forty niners look like i did back in the eighties when a young small was at candlestick park watching no catch all how to time passes by niners forty one seventeen dick to take him home read in the motor city we go where the san diego superchargers squared off with the detroit lions in an old school slugfest fast take me home tonight had to get to paradise that he missed work
but the lions overcame a fourth quarter deficit and were any money down the stretch speaking of id money my good friend from from from not now teach my good friend eddie money gone too soon once said baby hold on to me what other will be will be so eloquent line start taking charge of time hey good go oh no way in h town where it was gardner it's raining men shoe hallelujah as the jaguars had a ferocious fourth quarter comeback and doug marrone said utah give me two but couldn't get a point break jail in may it's in ramsey told doug marrone if you ain't got no giddy up then getting out my way as the two exchanged words on the sideline with that little noz x did y all the kids sing boom huss it's got all the horses in the back back back back back back back back back back back back back texans thirteen jaguars twelve turn off
frozen tundra where two nfc n tucker lots face off and aaron rodgers once again treats his cousins like shit ported my french by matt leflore ha hall absolutely skull fuck the viking so hard it looks like mike zimmer is going to have to put that eye patch on devante adam sandler left everyone happy in madison as big daddy aaron rodgers is finally acting like a grown up instead of a boner dog as his new french coach looks on into the ho ho ho ho oh they honor the great part start lebo sunday i remember what a young swamp wasn't getting honoring bart starr oh how time passes packers twenty one working fifty hi i'm the colts have directv and on the titans and i have raible it doesn't
like mike raible will be cutting the cord on his penis anytime soon after the titans coughed up a late lead in nashville aigis on sunday jacobi briskett bert the tight ends and left shaped like a dry rub and the ageless wonder adam vinateri adds to his hall of fame career with an extra point this guy's never gonna retire colts nineteen titans seventeen this'll is what the fishermen of tie xi in japan don't want you to see the way the world's most intelligent animals gasping for life as it's hunter's watch home for more than two minutes this dolphin struggles to stay afloat finally distressed
exhausted it can take it gives way one last thresh of its tail before its cap is drag it away to be slaughtered patriots forty three dolphin zero in washington home of the russian box where prescott was back in the ussr you don't know how lucky you are cowboys jason witten at five the odds of blake darwinism as he proves yet again and survival of the witnessed for that i did adrian peterson who is uh huh these cracks last week and i talked in tribute to his performed form of child discipline stumbled and bumbled to forty five yards and the redskins fans aren't so keen on on their playoff chances after two start cowboy thirty one their own stands twenty one
to the meadowlands where the g men went up against new york's number one team the buffalo bills josh dershowitz was racking up the barely legal bills in scoring on the giants who were stuck at fourteen say kwan means business barkley was the lone bright spot for the giants with one hundred and seven yards and a visit to pray dark but these aren't your father's she may there the gentleman and they stink hate each yeah boom no one circles the wagons like the buffalo bills bills 28g men fourteen the new york football giants there not go to get him oh mile high a michael vic fangio turn the dogs loose on mid stravinsky all afternoon long as drink famously said is flat
how late i said only partly i only love the height and the spirals i'm sorry and the bears are left wondering imagine if i never missed the bris keys to quote the famous eddy pineiro his game winning kick with god's plan god's plan their sixteen broncos fourteen to los angeles where the saints found themselves on a teddy bridge over troubled water as jerrod simon and garfunkel carved up the saints defense without drew brees the new orleans said i got an alvin kamara i love to take off all the graph so mama don't take my dome sweet home away as i head to seattle for another road test before heading home word bound to grams twenty seven saints nine refs seven we finished in oakland final football game or a baseball field and the always electric patrick my homes lighting up the scoreboard we have patrick down on level three cap the game patrick to you
she goes back again i've owned miss playing on that old ball field you know also baseball player just like my cool dad so making these that there are the diamond reminds me of the old ball game did you see that god supply candy in the crowd holy cats that that was tickled my funny bone
i'll tell you was neil mosquito to see coach reid in the black hole because just about every time i see him he's consuming the milky way people forget in the draft the bears took a trip whiskey with a second overall pick while i was still on the board but heck it looks like they made direct decision because mitch is bawling out he be he be flaco today and shoot out for the ages good job is win win win all around all right week two in the books while we saw on monday night football but weak to mostly close yeah uh i mean it was a wildly to i feel like everyone got injured we have a million injuries we did that that tweet that everyone loves to do like it's only week to when we've already lost on then just less drew brees ben roethlisberger's sam darnold who is he injured
yeah his new cleo sis's urge you have to nuclear assis is you don't have one so we're gonna do the uh we're gonna do the recap of the entire week to know guest again everyone loved it last week i think we're gonna do this every monday gets a touch on every game yeah just me and big cat fucking a football just like you will go for today's episode that is also after we too you have to say there are more questions than answers big towns these team big time so actually let's do this before we hop into like the sunday afternoon games let's just do the game we just watched the atlanta falcons i think are now eleven in one in home openers in their last twelve i finally get paid back for always betting on the falcons which i've lost way more money then i won tonight but it felt good and news flash the eagles are like insanely injured already in week two yeah everybody took a trip to the tent today it was kind of a crazy game i thought the eagles are going to win it at the end here julie's husband made that catch i thought when i first saw it that he made it to the line to gain
but it was a parallax angle so you didn't get there after all carson wants i think is is still pretty good well he does he does this thing where it was like the perfect carson wentz game where he wasn't very good to start everyone like this guy he's the league he's supposed to be a league m v p then he gets hurt that everyone says well he's hurt so that's why he's playing bad then he played great and almost brought them back to victory like in two different drives not when the game was on the line and you look at it and you say oh yeah that's why that guy is so good and everyone thinks highly of him but now we leave week too and be like ok is he heard or is he not hurt right it's crazy to watching the falcons play because if you were to compare this game to what they did in minnesota last week
it is a schizophrenic team they're the two personalities of dan quinn he either wants to kick a field goal on fourth and short or fourth and long matt ryan i don't know what it is he just when he gets to the red zone he just decides this is exactly where i want to be to throw an interception he threw three picks tonight the falcons are lead the league and this is a stat i haven't looked up but i'm going to say it lead the league in fucking up in the red zone yeah no that's not an advanced analytics that i just came up with that the falcons lead league i'm going to one up you and say that going back to two thousand and fifteen they lead league and fucking up in the red zone every single falcons game comes down to them fucking up in the red zone that's why they won this game because they don't even get in the red zone they just threw like three yard screen to julio jones and let they should do that more often throw a seventy five yard touchdown stay out of the red zone entirely like from they do better when they're inside their opponents reds alright which would be what's known is that the browns owner yeah the shop's own reds or whatever that is yeah well the color spectrum the is no orange you get a pen to
check on that right well yeah either way the falcons are back and the eagles now like you said more questions i think everyone on the team is injured everyone's injured with the falcons alshon jeffrey retired i think the falcons are in the catbird seat my favorite term of the nfc s because that division is hot trash you're going to get some hot trash trees yeah i'm going to dangle this out here for right now i'm considering pudding the done chain on the panthers i mean that makes sense because the panthers we talked about friday but kim newton's broken right and whole system's broke right they don't have anywhere to go without cam newton well maybe uh what's his name will greer well gravier that's right okay so let's do let's start with the one of games i want to start with the forty niners and bangles thegame that hank was most looking forward to yeah ah the story here is did you see the video where someone captured a bengals fan sending a text to his friend from the nosebleeds and the text read fucking andy dalton
i hope he dies on the field in the second half so i can run on the field and stop on his corpse that's pretty strong yeah i mean that i don't think he really minced any words there yeah i'd like to see him try to get on the field to stop on this court i feel like if andy dalton dies on a football field i see his point because they should just like let him lay there for a while they should just like let nature take its course have him decomposed slowly on the field they probably will was probably better facilities than the bangles would have any ways to spend money on on ah undertakers and corners in cincinnati here's a fun fact though for that guy who wants to murder andy dalton league leader in passing yards through week two and adult how many yards you have today he had ah i think he had like four hundred yards or something three hundred yards he had four hundred yards maybe week one and three he's leading the league with like seven hundred and fifty yards or some somewhere around there yeah they're never going to give him up no any dalton needs to be the bangles quarter
back in perpetuity until you physically can't do it until he does die on the field it also was one of those classic games where all if you don't have three hundred eleven yards today all the problems the bangles had last year after week one everyone's like maybe their fixed turns out none of them or fix the offense of line stinks and the defense really state is defense isn't very good at all they i don't know what to make of zach taylor yet i'm trying i'm trying to get a vibe on him and he's a tough guy to vibe out on because he's like he looks like an assistant coach on the sidelines yeah it looks like the guy whose job it is to catch the passes for the quarterback and then hand the quarterback the ball right he doesn't pop on the sidelines he doesn't have a thing yet he needs we need to figure out five he is he i would say i would go as far as say's he's got a sketchy vibe always schedule yeah he is sketchy because you just don't know what he's doing he's one of
these guys he shows up at a party and all your friends that are girls look at each other with like the side glances i don't know is this guy is he going to let andy dalton be the quarterback all year without weird vibes this also was the jimmy g game because he actually played a good game which everyone's been waiting for and on top of all that i love when we can just count on things in the nfl and because kyle shanahan mike shanahan son we can now count on the 49ers always having a no name guy be awesome it running the football yeah well i breed up he's not known about but he's pretty good still he will plug in anyone and they will get a hundred yards i think that their starter got injured i might be wrong on that i think you got it he got banged up and then breed is the guy that he's always been the the fancy football players like if he just got more touches he's made he's like the new duke johnson essentially they had three guys who had over ten cut touches raheem most dirt
am i saying that right yeah jeff wilson junior he sounds like a race car driver and map rita and they just ran the ball and ran the ball two hundred thirty four k russia between yards between those three guys and i just love it because it's back to old school mai chan and we're like whoever they put in that system he'll just we'll just rip defenses up his own blocking one you got yeah and you can the when you can exit when you can like go to sleep no saying these things it feels good yeah put your foot on the ground get down hill alfred morris could do it you can do it yeah it's like kyle shanahan and belichick are the two guys that come to mind that fucking hate fantasy football owners so much that they almost get a sick pleasure a sick perverted twisted pleasure out of ah not like nobody being able to guess who's gonna get the lion's share of the touch is right in the back field during any given game with belichick it went so far that he was i'm going to put aaron hernandez back here for a game and i'm going to let the murderer get four dot five yards per game
the guy's name who had like four touchdowns and then got cut gray no yeah don't know the guy went on he was he was on the cover of like sports hills yeah was great wasn't it was great join us yeah and then he like looked at bella check wrong go back to the list of team plane i love it that can't do that the 49ers are classic team through two weeks there are two now and i have no idea if they're good or we that they're good i got the record says that they're good but we're not sure if they're good next week they get to play the steelers which i also don't know at home bad or good at home so we won't know until probably till the rams week five um all right next up we have chargers at lyons anthony lynn you're a fucking idiot that's what i wrote down because anthony lynn went into this game without a kicker on dde had his punter kick field goals he missed them both is the same motion and they lost by
three any mr thirty nine on a forty one yard in and it's like what what are you doing i also the the other thing i noted was matt stafford is like a junk yard phil rivers he's like a less accomplished phil reversed they both have the same vibe where they could throw in a horrible interception or they could bring their team back in the fourth quarter and like swiss with stand multiple injury he's in in hardcore socks and blind side so i never see the blind side stack coming right and they can throw the ball around the yard yeah they don't feel pain and what time enjoying about phillip rivers at this point is clear is he's always had that weird shotput motion where he starts from his shoulder it's getting further and further away from his but he has no like he doesn't bring the ball back at all it starts in front of me it's like a chest pass every time he throws it and he can make it go forty five yards if he needs to yes but he's fucking fun to watch and you seem within us the nuns in the front row in the pregame dapping him up he's like alright solidarity all i'm not gonna score just for y'all
yes also lions fans lions fans are i think two behind raiders fans for most hilarious costumes that they all wear on sunday okay so it's just a whole section of them that just think it's completely normal to dress up like lion you're forgetting about mister cat in carolina give a desk one guy i'm talking about the lions fans 'cause now not to brag but we have directv at the office when we actually get to watch like the live feeds of the game games there were so many shots i could get my phone out fast enough of just lines fans dressed up like animals yeah and to add or looking like the give a blow job to a robot and dressed in all silver and weird i like that about yes i know i look like the the into troy that's how you just go to a game it's not like you don't go with like a a work group or anything to the game you've got your hard core die hard season ticket fans that you've your family has spent like being neighbors with every sunday our eight sundays
here for the last forty years and so they only know you as your name when you're dressed up bucks fans are sneaky like that all your friends are too but do you do all you know about lines fans is that like season ticket holders for the detroit lions think about this have spent every single thanksgiving with the detroit lions in not their family that says that is that supposed hardcore you can get yeah i'd rather like now i'm not going to do anything with my family i'm just going to go watch the shitty life you should read rather get noted on by c three po yeah and put my my gold glitter all over my face show up at a game and watch the giants lose or the the lines lose by thirty points on the other other thing i had here melvin gordon not a great day to be you then nope austin i clear had a had a pretty old he fumbled but he had a pretty good game and so melvin gordon paid austin act we're or you pay off the debt archers update he is now paid the chargers i think six hundred thousand dollars and they've paid aust mackellar seventy five thousand dollars so they're just they're
happy with the situation because they're making bank the fumble was very big and dan ball security is job security so if you're melvin gordon just rooting for him to continue to fall if you yeah if the term fumble itis gets attached to him yes he's got the form was then you can make a case that you need me back our personal goal dot com slash p m t if you want to watch all of our up so it's personal goal dot com slash pmt we got a big gas coming on wednesday if you want to watch that it's an awesome way to getting drunk beer there on all our taller than grok vikings packers yes dalvin cook is awesome the vikings went away from the play book that we told them works don't let your quarterback be a quarterback don't let kirk cousins throws the ball more than ten times in a game he threw it thirty two
that's that's almost four times more than ten how many completions do you think he had a thirty to seventeen fifteen fourteen fourteen fourteen completions out of thirty two with two interceptions the vikings just run the ball and play defense and their defense figured out matt or sorry aaron rodgers in metal floor in the second half 'cause the packers looked unbelievable in the first half and then they completely shut him down in the second half but they had kirk cousins who had to bring him back and you can't do that you can't you can't let kirk cousins who you pay a lot of money to throw the football throw the football nothing in this world will break
your spirit faster than having to be a fan that gets excited for kirk cousins on the sunday because you have to talk yourself into it if you're a vikings fan right you like he's going to put he can win this game for us i tried to do this for two years in dc and it is so depressing being like kirk is going to win this game for us and actually like believing in him going into game and he's the worst kind of quarterback because he's the kind that's good enough where when he fucks up it really it disappoints you it's not like these nathan peterman where he throws interception you like uh that's nathan peterman funny he's not fitzpatrick where he throws a pick six and you're like hilarious he still in the league he is good enough to give you enough hope where then when he fucks up he totally like drives you into deep depression he's he's like a magic i back in the day when we had the magic eye books and you just have to go cross eyed to to try to see what you want to see you have to you have to go cross eyed every sunday morning if you're a vikings fan to try to see
a quarterback yeah you just stare at him for long enough and you think that eventually quarterback will pop out and you like nope it's still just piece of dog shit yeah it's another one that's like a shitty ok i'll turn the calendar to october maybe it'll be quarterback then not to break character or break the show up but how much computer battery do you have 'cause i'm like about to die i'm at eighty eight here you go you got it you got more than i'll give you some juice alright yeah i'm swimming in power over here also not to break the show up with that shit as a as all time sure other sure yeah peter man fuck you
not to break also not to break the show up pink whitney's let's talk about him real quick for any use tools out there who've been off the grid for the past few weeks we teamed up with our partners in new hampshire and vodka to make our signature drink the picked pink whitney official after rounds of taste tests we came across a seriously smooth blend of pink lemonade flavored vodka and we knew we had to bottle this one up the pink whitney is perfect over ice children's shot or topped off with a little club soda either way this game changer on deck for your tail gates and watch parties this fall and if you can't find a bottle yet tell those pigeons at the liquor store to get some cases in stock brought to you by our partners in new amsterdam because the official vibe to the nhl they're on a mission to help you find your wins all season long pick win is actually delicious i like yet is the lad solari good friend and i really need has a drink named after himself can you believe it not a pride of scituate massachusetts
fastened whitney's and chucking nuts that's what they believable that he has his own drink the pink whitney's check him out new hampshire and vodka okay cole tightens the field was on fire yes the speaker got fire game that was awesome i love this happens every now and then wasn't there there's you come to our lives well i think maybe the lines are maybe was the saints there's a dome that had the turf on fire right couple years live from like a pirate to make this was a speaker that was completely engulfed in flames only explanation i thought aux cord they handed swag aux cord swag kelly pump some shit pregame he had that spotify list going absolutely it was a viking funeral for a country basically so the real story here is adam vinatieri is going to retire tomorrow well we first reporting you don't think he's holding a press conference i would assume adam bennett terry could be holding a press conference in calling them
eat together on a monday morning for any number of reasons we don't know this is going to be like hey i fucked up i'm sorry guys i fucked up yeah hank let me ask you this ad vegetarian going in the hall of fame as a cult or as one of ours a patriot patriot one of us you think so more rings more ring i don't even know played longer played longer in india though right and all the two thousand and six i think but you don't there's no memorable adam vinateri moments on the colts super bowl form there's nothing i like me i didn't have a lot of nothing that's just credit in your memory of like have been terry game winning kick you there are many of the rams here's what i remember from his time in indianapolis when he made a field goal and then tony dungy said that guys good on the side on the sideline there you go music i've got
he he's gonna retire is money is what ms what he missed two extra points in a field goal then you missed extra point yesterday or last week to have put the colts one so that's got to count for something and the titans they are a classic team where you think you don't know what they are but i know exactly what they are and they just played ugly ask games and marcus mariota is most frustrating quarterback in the world to watch there's a gentleman's agreement between every team in the nfc south afc south that says we're never going to play a fun game to watch together yeah it's all gonna be ugly fast and we're gonna just we're gonna win twelve to thirteen we're going to win at seventeen to fourteen and we're gonna do that every single time we get together no one's going to like it and then when the playoffs come around no one's gonna know how to bet on this i feel like marcus mariota is allergic to throwing three
yards he can't do it i can not do it i think that's fair i think that's totally fair to say that i also think that jim irsay is gonna go hog wild down in nashville tonight after winning a game there and by like every single guitar in opryland that jim irsay outfit that you treated the other day when he was wearing a suit coat and under armour sweatpants oh yeah and skechers holy last year for once that guy's got style no asking and that's going to be so awesome though to be so rich that you can wear whatever the fuck you want and no one will say hey man you look like an asshole i know it might robert kraft shirts for years it's a white dick ular sure sure it's a ridiculous shirt but because he's robert kraft no ones gonna be like history craft why wouldn't you just get a color that's the same color is your shirt
kraft exudes ex and his date models were in the fashion which is clearly know nothing yeah dude you're right on real if you're this rich you can you know just where sweatshirt and be like well it actually cost two thousand dollars so if you can't hate on it if you're wealthy then you can just wear the exact same thing every day steve jobs did that that's true the lady from that scam company take your blood did that no no no no no so yeah yeah liz with homes that every successful person is a bit old billy make far he wears an orange jumpsuit every single day yeah only very very wealthy people can do this it's are they really is what it as this as a kid say goals are to to some day be so rich that you can dress like an and have no one say a word and last yeah yeah i know i know what's what's our which by the way i there's a picture out there floating me today at last i got it i got you some squats you want tobe come around
corner no asking what's oversight what what it looks like just falls out of my and what is sir mix a lot savored asking do all the side bins and sit ups but don't lose that big cat off i need scott sober needs to get here i think my bucks bigger than yours yeah probably i have a i don't have a big dump i got a woman is like a big old chunky yeah okay hank patriots forty three dolphins you're actually on why said hank pft yeah because you need to answer my patient yes no you're dolphins you're dolphins are are going to go down as the worst team in nfl history and you said they were going to win seven games i would rather i would rather be on the wrong side of the worst take of all time then be on the wrong side of mildly bad take because i've been i i've been in in both situations before more often than not but getting something coat so colossal wrong as the the dolphins going in sixteen there verse seventy six that would be so i would be proud to have an all
all time bad take like that and you only bought it though only the worst part is you actually did think you're like ryan fitzpatrick's going to get him a few win only the great ones can be so confident in something so wrong and not willing to get off that before they die i'm going to be like andy dalton on the field dying on this bad take i think ok they probably won't seven seven from here on out make if it's patrick is looking for a trade and they're trying to trade in which is ridiculous because he was a first round draft pick last year they've got their try to trade can you drink to try to trade drake okay i get tricks the father developments are going to break i think they're going to break a record this year for biggest point spread they have to write they well they play the patriots in week seventeen so that one might not count but i'm looking at it right now like the next next week they're playing the cowboys at dallas i don't it's probably going to be able to get it probably like one thousand seven hundred and eighteen as the spread
and let's just say one of the one of the pick six is today wasn't entirely fits magics full tells herself okay so so i have a stature you first is the dolphins are being outscored one hundred and two to ten they're basically an f c s program trying to play in the fbs it's it's getting bad they are ah i don't even know what like jacksonville state or someone who's trying to who's trying to play obama every single week yeah so and i this this might actually get to a point where i'm gonna start believing the alabama could beat the dolphins if they trade enough of their guys s oh there are one hundred and two to ten is their total points this this year so far through two games the patriots scored more points on defense in a one minute and thirteen stretch during this game
then the dolphins have in a hundred and twenty minutes on offense okay so all that tells me is that by being so vocal about saying that i'm going to bed on the dolphins cover the spread i motivated patriots he had they feel they feed off the hate well so the other good thing the only silver lining we have for the dolphin season at this point is brian floor as continues to put in josh rosen in give us josh rose and stat lines josh rosenthal line seven free teen ninety seven yards in an interception so thank you brian floors because we can keep the josh rosen line bit going when you just throw him to the wolves and so weird because 'cause he does it in these blowouts and he's like yeah this is a good time i'm for this guy did learn to yet with no with no pros on the field and a team that just wants to hold the shutout let's throw him in there and see if you can make some magic yeah it's awful it's off of the time
yeah i think we got the funniest part about that game was that and that last drive like the game is over is forty three nothing in flores and bella check were calling timeouts like stop the clock 'cause they didn't like bella check they want to score and i think it was just like a old buddies going against each other like even though it's forty three nothing and everyone just want to leave like we're not letting this game and i think belichick hates floor is now i think that ever since he left he's like you're not one of my guys you're not loyal the only the only assistant that bill belichick actually likes is josh mcdaniels because he's the one it was so loyal that he turned down a job he fucked to come back and you fucked over the cold so it's a band of rocco love he absolutely loves josh mcdaniels 'cause you ruins franchises that arrivals with the patriots so in bell check fashion hank 'cause the patriots are obviously unbelievable and they're going to it's offensive
i mean i don't know it's gonna be him unbelievable to antonio brown like them targeting antonio brown to make them happy three or four times the first drive was like come on but because bell check you know he's gonna sit the team down to be like you didn't do well what do you do about stephen discuss ask 'cause he always two extra point he's terrible miami and he missed the field goal he it's like he's like like ninety percent in all time and he's like seventy percent in miami so that's just my anything just the real problem is the snapping that's the only thing that i've noticed watching the film you can tell that david andrews is not not playing because the shock on staffs are getting kind of kind of slow
okay so there's a there's an issue at center that we have to address them okay breeding search of a couple more tells into his solve your home but on soft bills the giants bills so let's start with this pat shurmur last year said about josh alan he has a chance to be a starter dot schirmer your for king idiot disrespectful pat shurmur is still starting eli manning eli manning didn't have a completion until the second quarter and eli manning i'm woke to this he's putting up enough stats that if you look back at his like the box score yeah you can reasonably say to yourself ah not that bad he threw for two hundred and fifty yards in a touchdown couple interceptions but if you don't watch the game you can basically sell it like maybe it's not just the lies fault but if you watch the game its allies fault they basically just ran the ball
the only time they had success was the first driveway they just ran sake one five times are only scored a touchdown all by himself we should all be hoping that the giants win as many games as possible to get eli to stick around as much as possible because as long as you're in the playoff hunt there still there not are still star does not they're not mathematically eliminated yet i'm not a math genius and fits patrick but i do know that they're not eliminated after two weeks the dolphins are the only team that's officially mathematically eliminated but yet they should absolutely we should be rooting for eli manning to play well for the well honestly from to play well just for the giants to win just for them to win not games they'll they'll be to read hence the with the with them at home and ab and then on the other side josh alan the i'm doing a torch update torch being passed from cam newton to josh allah can love him
the best running quarterback shot all the haters of which there were many josh allen is really and he's spectacular and pat shurmur saying that quote and josh on going in and shoving it in his face fuck yeah dude that's all i'm gonna say fuck you dude josh allen to ah the reporter asked what do you think you showed new york fans and he's like ah were in new york right now we're in new york we're actually number one new york were actually in new jersey right now they won the state championship you mean the people watch at home the i new york the new york state championship goes to the buffalo bills there too in no in metlife stadium i wouldn't mind making buffalo the capital of new york i'm down they should they should do it like that if if the bills are the better team than buffalo boom amelie gets all the state documents the charters all the
at all these lawmakers have to move from where ever the capital of new albany albany they have to take the big train up to i think it's the same as buffalo yeah so maybe not albany syracuse and buffalo are those things that like they're all the but they're so far apart you're albany is buffalo without a football team and without wings yeah so it's like you take the only redeeming the great danes the best parts retains a great danes were never sorel albany okay great danger there yeah that's a that's a better i mean it's great mascot that's all you got you're the best thing about you is that you're not new york city yeah purple and something that's the basketball team albany university of new york albany that's pretty sweet name for a team to the great danes can i ask you a question ah are we sure that pat shurmur is a good coach and i think he fucking socks i think i think he's just got he's got a pouch in his back that day
if gentlemens hand fits directly into so we can make him do whatever he wants this is awesome because patch server is a classic coach where there's this management owner weird like fight and you have a guy who won two super bowl as it is going to be a hall of famer new i manning so everyone kind of glosses over the fact that pat shurmur might actually just be a terrible coach yet give me been back to back i miss mcadoo at least he had he had the balls yeah he had the ball suspended from a game that really made no sense but he did it he went out there and did it was he had the weird haircut i don't even know what pat shurmur's hair looks like he always wears a full ball cap i don't know he's got it you might have a mohawk it's just funny be might be totally bald you get these coaches that they get put in these situations where no one will blame the coach even though that seems like what we should be saying because he is the one who keeps starting eli manning that
these decisions schedule minin marija and mister mera sorry but yeah pat shurmur like what he's he's gonna his records gonna be insanely bad if the giants keep losing i think they will he's going to be yet but he'll get it he'll get to keep his job 'cause you'll be daniel jones guy he seems like a guy that's going to transition very easily into being like assistant general manager somewhere yeah i feel like pat shurmur's a good football coach if you take out all the elements of coaching football he looks the part right you know my son i i use some was pretty good at vanderbilt the cover gets notre dame i won money on there you go switch he's got that go i like him for that reason he just he seems like a guy that just is destined to spend his entire life at a football facility of some sort just punch in and punch now also schirmer probably the boring his name yeah football wise in the league yeah i'd say schirmer schirmer yeah yeah yeah and pat pat shurmur hat schirmer sounds like i'm having a stroke in diary at the same time had schirmer
would you say or do you starter pat shurmur yeah if you i manning was a name so it will be pat shurmur he also that that actually are in there it makes you think you're saying it incorrectly pat shurmur and it's like what you're making me think more about your name that i want to yep we we've spent too much time talking about a stupid fucking name already yeah pour sake one that's you on another note yeah poor sick one ah hey hey hey hey hey i saw everybody i don't know the elbows and nick did did the shoulder bone anybody connected did the middle of this bone looks like fun a bone there i wanna i wanna throw on this boot i'm pretty cozy just just toss it on and and that little photo bone injury just goes way they built
no i know your your elbows all tangled wingly not sure like to help you make a few good you if you're a new listener we're talking about the seahawks in the steelers game and big bend getting injured for the billionth time in a row this one actually thinks i think it's real he thinks it's real to you definitely the no real things into it was weird looking at it it just didn't really even see what happened he just it looked like he had this funny bone yeah you'll put on his walking boot and he will get in front of the media and he'll say over my dead body just mason rudolph get to play anymore i'm not going out there even if i'm hurt which i might not be because of a dog that just yelps every time
you know something someone drops the keys at a time in a decade port comes near my paw he you make and and we have to take you to the vet and it's like seven hundred dollars every time you fake an injury big baton i i wish you would be shocked if the steelers just half of that on call for him for big bend we do listen we we want to give you a real doctor but we actually have a lot of buyers here and they need medical attention so we're just going to have you see the vet every time and he'll give you may be a little treat have use it and then send you on your way it tell you what this is your new this is going to be individualized trainers name cesar milan and he's just going to make it this code is really calm assertive put this calculator you'll be fine he had the quickest trip to the training room of all time today before halftime he went in and came out in four minutes yeah so we left goes in the tunnel i think that game a try think all that can happen he essentially walked into the training room far did and then walk back on the field
a few better is like a baby burping yeah and then they like open we need to have you someone's got to look at you and what it looks like was the tommy john yeah what is that where the ligaments yeah he ucl it did come in the indian gripped the curveball upright citizens ligament what it is but yeah he's like it's all tingly and he can't grip it he can throw it and if that's actually the case he's probably going to be out for awhile if ben actually does fuel pain which the jury is still out on if it's not all phantom stuff but yeah that would be something to have mason rudolph who big bend notoriously did not train to train to take over his job if mason has to come in for him and then mason in his post game comments was doing the thing where he was given it all up for ben he's like but you know i'm i'm ready to play if ben will let me yeah yeah i'm so scared of ben roth lis berger and what he'll do because ben roth is burgers in that weird spot similar to eli manning where the what he's done for the franchise just keep scaring over
whether he's good or not and big ben is better than eli obviously don't get mad steelers fans but he could get anyone fired at any moment you could just create it just well he probably can't snap his fingers because you can't feel his arm anymore his left hand but yeah he would be like well he there's no way he knows how to do that with his left that street right you just click with his tongue big fire that guy he's probably so psyched to have like a numb right hand so we can go home and just jacket constantly 'cause i got entire weekend on a date with a stranger fellows i would just imagine him going into the locker room and the doctor like grabbing his arm and just wiggling it and he's like oh my god are they going to have to amputate it doc like ben you ask this every time an extremity is hurt yep and you just you just twisted your elbow little do you want to go back in like no i don't because we're probably gonna lose steelers though is this the end of the mike tomlin steelers because their own to now has he lost the locker room their defense does not look good and they've invested
but in their defense and big ben is i would say at the end of the road it's fair if it is the ucl if it is the tommy john thing then there's no chance to be able to i know josh allen had a similar thing last year yeah where he had like a pinched nerve or something weird going on but if it's bad then i don't think he's gonna be able to play i think that this could be the
beginning of the end for big been which i'm very very upset about it mister rudolph wasn't that bad no he wasn't he was decent so you get to the point where like okay well maybe mason rudolph is the guy either way the seahawks now to know they're for real they find ways to win what's his name lock it is the new doug baldwin russell wilson just throws it to whatever's in trouble whatever needs a first down and it works and yeah i did i mean it was i i think is more an indictment on the steelers and cause week one we said the pictures are just that good and mike tomlin just can't ever beat the patriots but then tat tat your home opener and the seahawks come in and it feels like it's a game you should be able to win i don't know i don't know where the steelers go will dickey metcalf is pretty good too yeah so it looks like he's gonna be good reds on target he's like he's his biggest faulk he's like if kelvin benjamin was it when kato for like two months he's got that this that agrees calvin finchem and yet i'm gonna call from now on it's cut up the
cut up and he can run different routes that i'm told because i've seen a lot of videos on the seahawks main twitter account that show him running like a dig route that absolutely sucks but there but they say like you can do other things he had the five cone drill of tom brady right yeah that was that was what it was you can't turn and that's fine so yeah i think and james conner got hurt too so steelers in trouble yeah their medical staff is working overtime so that's also russell wilson suck it sliding today i don't know if you saw that he was terrible it usually is one of the best 'cause people forget he was a baseball player so he knows how to slide but he was terrible he was in his foot caught in the turf he was like diving forward at heinz field though field you have to yeah but i was thinking who are the all time worst sliders in history at the quarterback position i gotta a flag goes up there flacco didn't remember the time that he just shattered his his knee brace
yeah you are like forrest gump you live you live was my number to you i looks like he's going to tear every every single bone ever break every bone terror every single ligament in his legs when every try slide ben roethlisberger's pretty bad too because you just don't just kind of fall yeah he just put his face for yeah i'm ready that's where want to go to to that blade of grass the quickest way to get my land putting my face on it yeah and then rg three obviously yeah three for sure are not every time he slides i just think i actually think it's going to explode speaking of rg three the cowboys red skins even though he's not on the red skins anymore but hello is b jack continues his you should pay dak tore that killing more continues his i'm actually real offense of coordinator jeez and gear what is even to hear tore and i don't know
red skins are just one of those teams that are just floating in no where floating aimlessly have roles identity they have no like their coach will be their coach for very long i why don't they just plain when askins that's a good question but why it will because the trade for kids came in case keenum is jay gruden's ideal quarterback a white white when you draft a quarterback in the first round i mean the same thing with daniel jones i don't know why you just don't it drove me crazy we'll get to match but it drove me crazy when when the bear did that like just play your guy because my my sean salisbury actually changed my mind with that because i always was of the belief that if you put a guy in early any any fails he'll have you know like it will be hot he'll see things in it won't work long term you can get basically scarred but sean salisbury said if if a guy
its guard he never was going to be the guy anyway right yeah i mean like you either have it or you don't either have the ability to overcome you know getting beat up and take your lumps or you don't so might as well just do it now because if they play case keenum all year then now between houses a rookie next year what's the point i actually think there's some v said from like a gm perspective to not playing your your quarterback his rookie year because the person golden ticket will it with its own ticket which is like job security number one jeff fisher taught us that for a long time yeah but also it's less likely to be labeled as a bust if it's a second year player coming in for the first time like right now of duane haskins was in an absolutely sucked
it's really easy to be like hey that's a bust and cider yeah but if he comes in his software here or a second year and he doesn't play well it's like oh he's not going to work out he's not the future but he doesn't get the bus chain put around his neck like he would if it was his rookie i just don't understand why you wouldn't if you have no identity as a team and you have no playoff hopes and you're just kind of floating aimlessly at least give your fans some hope with a guy playing we do have an identity a clown car full of butt holes yeah it sucks and the cowboys are good the cowboys are great permission to go there on dan snyder yeah dance so great owner dan snyder sell the team great now i'm talking to you right now you're you're great as as as thirty one other nfl owners will tell me you are a great owner and they love having you as a part of the league so he can kick your ass all the time but sell the team you're a guy that grew up rooting for the are words you care very much about them
right now your legacy is going to be the person who destroyed the thing you love the most in life that's actually kind of cool legacy if you sell the team then you have a chance to be known as the person who saved the thing that you grew up loving the most he likes he loves he loves the redskins so much she hugged him so hard he suffocated yes that's kind of cool he looked at how much love you have it's close that crawling under christopher's bought yep little does that christopher yeah that offer was high on iran is dog yeah because he was so high on eight years on the junk and then they try to save their heat because that crawled under is bought for warmth the end because that was just sat in the rear yeah or any problem haven't haven't you know i got upset yeah well i don't know what the that deep on hl started nagging him about killing killing her dog it's like woke up woke up and came into the bing one morning and there you were with your hair in the toilet water disgusting
no sylvia's intervention that was all that was the letter they wrote to dan cider sell the fucking team you have a chance to be the person who saved the redskins by instilling yourself bye bye yeah yeah either sell the team or just like jump out of your helicopter yes commit the bloke who are do the three old chilean revolutionary trick and throw yourself out of the helicopter okay so cardinals ravens cuyler murray pft don't get triggered earmuffs collar murray looks even shorter like every single week good he's getting shorter good i every time i see him what made the cut short he was a show off we were to combine it clocked in at five ten feet short yeah he's very short and shoppers also get a big helmet he does which will cause he's so sure he's like a walking bobble head and it's kind of cute watching them play back there yeah i didn't really run the ball this week a backyard baseball guy exactly exactly religion was in pablo yeah yeah looks like publishing goes in in red and white and
yeah i don't know if he's good or not yet i think that he's better than he looked in the first half it takes some time to get kliff kingsbury's system worked well here's where i don't understand about cliff kingsbury and i hate coaches in general we you know we talked about the the eagles falcons game i love doug peterson i've said it many times he goes for it he takes moments and he grabbed him by the balls he's like fourth down i don't care kliff kingsbury you're supposed to be this offensive genius guy you're supposed to bring up this up tempo you can't beat us offense that's why you were hired the cardinals in the red zone fourth and one of the four field goal fourth and goal at the three field goal fourth and goal to two field goal what the fu
fuck dude you could have won this game if you just if you just said hey we're going to go it if you go for it and you get two out of three of those times you win the game and i think that my math is right yeah yeah my math is right they lost by six they would have eight more points so you just need to get two out of three of those converted maybe that math doesn't work out either way go for it go for it more often go for what you're saying i don't understand if you get if you have four if you can't get one yard then i mean i would rather die i would rather lose trying to get yard on fourth and goal on the one then just holy die kicking field goals every time you get down there i think he's just terrified going up against the fence is that don't play in the big twelve so he's like i i can't get a first down here and it's not i'm not playing against tcu anymore i'm not playing it's baylor you know what i mean like just you just if you're supposed to be this guy why are you turtling so much and you have color murder you can't you can't get color murray into space and let him get you a first
that seems crazy also your name can't be cliff kingsberry and be a pussy when it comes to going for right your guns yeah exactly you're hot you're on the sidelines you're wearing your sunglasses air race looks hot no matter who you are if you put on a pair of cool shades yeah you should be going for more often i agree with that also had written down here that larry fitzgerald is never going to die no his big but somehow it gets why open guess what he's got a buck to get wide open on a four to one yes exit just box mount box amount he's a guy that has the exact opposite of u and hank jr mercy yep he's got a little bubble but he can just stick out there get some separation he's a guy that no matter how long you plays in the nfl i will always be able to identify larry johnson just by his early for jobs you just from his body tight yes his body type is is very unique to any other player in the league with the with the dreads in the in the bubble we even if the dress worn around yeah he just looks different as wide receiver i don't know what it is about lamar jackson get ready be
does week five we're going to get and it will be deserve id if he keeps playing the way he is we'll get the lamar jackson for m v p talk yeah because he had almost four hundred yards rushing and passing through everything you went for one hundred and twenty yards he was slicing and dicing them up so get ready for it lamar jackson is the real deal is it time to say that maybe lamar got better this offseason because they got rid of their diva wide receiver joe flacco um interesting we'll get to joe flacco he stinks well he stinks he stinks all right jaguars texans doug marone is fighting his players and we lost well it was it was a ver is disagreement on the set afterwards that he doesn't even remember it he doesn't recall the fight it was a very football guy thing to do it was over a challenge so ramsey wanted him to challenge a play and ramsey shoved them yeah coming off the field so doug marrone had a right to be like hey man i'm the coach i will also say doug marone going for two on the road love that yes i love that movie so that's the thing
like if you're at the end of the game of a game and it's one point and you just to touchdown i always say like you're on the road go for it like what do you have to lose go for to try to steal one on the road but then it's at home i always say go for your at home you the crowd behind you you just always go for always go down by one at the end of a game just a fucking go for it because you know what this is this is one of those situations where your team will love you for doing it because there's nothing that a team hates more than you putting your faith in a kicker right and garden meant you had a awesome drive to talk you know to to get within one i'm a big believer in your offense is humming why would you take them off the field let them go for to let them try to win the game right there on got her gardener minshew i mean he is we're gonna get you in football guy the week he's swaggy yeah he's awesome and i'm excited to watch him every single week you know why i love garden
menchu's because he always looks like somebody that's dressing up as gardner menchu for halloween yes he's got like all these costume he's got all these different looks about him and they're all equally swaggy cool and weird and every single one of them you could go as slutty gardner minshew and pull off a halloween costume no problem also his dad pretty easy on the eyes i don't know if you saw him in the stands his diesel that is a diesel get looking me too yeah yeah big time delphia he had a visor on the hair was flowing you look good is it time to ask does gardner you have the hottest dad of any nfl players name again flint flint yeah issue changed it to gardner because it's out sort hundreds i linen fernet sucks yeah he does but we already knew that yeah but now it's official he socks he approaches the line of scrimmage like levi on belle with mono young takes its sweet time in the backfield takes like five steps and then tries to make it to say he's a guy that he will average two dot seven yards per carry
every single season until he's at least is trent richardson we were passing the torch better than i know he's better than that but it will in the similar vein of just kind of getting up the line and not seeing holes and just getting tackled every single time after two yard maybe he has trouble phobia he's terrified of singles yeah he can't see very asymmetrical hole i'm go with that that's what it is i i before i label them as officially having triple phobia i want to see some screen shots like we go trent richardson of like hey he should have gone here this week in oh my god the texans are ruining dish on i can't believe this please get free dish on from bill o'brien three tweet me retweet really retreat maine to sean watson has been
segment yet is good at it i mean i can't stand these people it's they pretend like this is the first time a quarterback's been run by coach welcome to the nfl the national football league h three games for more sacks that's a record yeah yes all right it's not great e x e ike's to sean watson gets his kicked every single week art chiefs raiders
just chill out patrick my homes it's too much he's shown everyone up he had four touchdowns in the second quarter ready for this these were his last five passes in the second quarter forty two yard touchdown pass thirty two yard completion forty three yard completion twenty seven yard touchdown pass thirty nine yard touchdown pass he threw three touchdowns in his last five throws in the second quarter any had every single completion over twenty seven yards somebody's put together the stats of if if patrick my homes was not allowed to play inside the thirty yard line how many touchdown passes you have in his career it's insane how any read get so many people up and how many games he would win if he just wasn't allowed to to play inside the thirty it's crazy he is sold god damn good and yeah i mean he's just i don't know it
and it was it was just perfect coincidence that the bears just can't score touchdowns in patrick mahomes had four and one quarter why is that it was just so weird coincidence because of the same time let's talk about their cars where mitchell was drafted john gruden derek car that is going to be a messy messy break up their cars not see it happening he's not good junk room is going to have a stroke on the sideline and the thing is you're not going to be able to tell when jon gruden has a stroke because he always does the scout with one side of his face anyways yeah and so no one is going to know he probably has already stroked out a couple times i so derek carr is so weird to me because i don't think he's good but when he is good he is like a gunslinger and you gotta let him loose and it feels like jon gruden is doing the opposite sometimes where he's trying to get their car to not make mistakes i think derek carr is the type of guy you just have to tell him just go do it
and yeah they'll be a couple mistakes but you also be able to throw the ball around gunslinger feels like a rebrand that derek carr put on himself yeah he probably did he finally got that into the media yeah it's not a bad narrative to get out there if you suck enough at quarterback just like whisper to reporter like you're calling me that yeah that's why throw that's why throw seven interceptions it just feels like he i don't i mean that that relationship was never going to work and we all know it's not gonna work and it's gonna be extra awkward when derek carr has the house that he's building right next to jon gruden las vegas like we go to you yeah that's going to be weird living is pool house rumble go over to john green's house asking for a cup of sugar yeah it's it's not good and derek carr i feel like he is he's got too much pizzazz for jon gruden to fall in love with his quarterback yeah like he's a little bit too exciting that say
something about how jon gruden likes his quarterbacks he likes his quarterbacks to be just like a blank slate like someone who's either been around the league for long enough that they're just burnt out and hate everything and don't have passion one where the other like your jake plummer at the end of his career when he was down in tampa bay right he that's what he likes or he likes a rookie that he can mold into having that same person he does like derek carr because derek carr has been established in in oakland yeah he got sir you know quote unquote the franchise quarterback for the readers in so it's kind of his house that you're coming into some juggling can definitely get him out of the house and it's happening sooner than later nathan peterman's gonna play or michael in on yeah he's going to play as well i'm excited for that i'm excited for the messy messy break up work work
to the nfl fuck you for the four or five star time i can't stand it i didn't know this game was in oakland now a reasonable person would say hey big cat you had literally all week you had actually like six months to know this game was being played in oakland because there's a schedule you can read it you can do all that and i say fuck you because i'm always at the four o'clock witching hour time i'm like losing my brain trying to win bats trying to hold on and then trying to put in new bets while the old bets are still being played out on don't look at those kind of fax so i thought this game i'm was being played in kansas city i said kansas city i won the bet but i said can city minus seven that's stealing no one goes in a row and beats them yeah and then boom turned on the game there's a baseball field and i was confused as hell
so the same made a whole lot more sense it just make him the same don't give us that one game that you have to be like oh fuck i gotta rush in and get this bed in we're not in kansas anymore is what you should have said when you pull shares that but yeah i agree i want a pull should i agree just like they there should not be a four or five start time in general yeah every game to start for fifteen yeah it's it's bullshit it's bullshit give me some some some time of a bathroom to form and let me let me go take a shit after the early games are done because you know you let me put on pants for the first time at four hundred and five there are still three or four games that you bet on for the one o'clock games that are completely up in the air give me a second to feed the dog that i forgot to feed his breakfast when i woke up in the morning yes give you give us like a brief resp ite from it somebody tweeted me i don't know who was i lost the tweet but they had a great idea which is at the at the las vegas facility for the raiders at their new stadium that they're building they should have on the field turf a baseball diamond like it now
but not the actual dirt but the color alert yeah well into the fields are like i think though i think vanderbilt does at vanderbilt has not dirt but it's i think it's colored field turf all round maybe that maybe i made that up yeah i don't know whatever if you did the right the warning track is not to then that's what it is feels like a school that would like try not to get its players thirty right yeah at all yeah go run to penn state did that's fine all your problems they'll cover up problems there okay ah little he doesn't have a dirt warning track kind of defeat the purpose of having a warning track that you can feel underneath your feet that it chain just as you have some point of a warning track yeah yeah
i don't have a dirt one try yeah i have a color that's one thing yes he's the point correct i agree okay let's talk about the bears offense let's talk before we do that let's do velveeta fell vida is the richest creamy as cheesiest thing out there and it's not just mac and cheese pft you wanna tell me quickly what how much you love velveeta i love the most i love about via isn't nice autumn surgery day rates you go home and yet the shells yet this city's going to start around all right is also vita will be to make schools stir unique richness creaminess cheesiness and melting this will be a makes the cream yes mac and cheese and you also have the veto for your case so dip for your tail gate specials they have it all it's quick and easy to prepare with no additional ingredients necessary only velveeta can deliver that extra creamy cheesy goodness a melt unlike any other the vita makes for the perfect game day queso dip the leading abel's consumers easily make great tasting meals to feed their whole family capable of being used in a wide variety recipes and meal occasions nothing melts like bill vida nothing melts like bella vita mill vita melts the creamy s and fell vida is giving fans an opportunity to win it all inclusive trip for four to the air the sec championship game and thousands of instant prizes
got score with bella vita dot com for details that score with bella vita dot com for details bella vita the creaminess cheesiest most delicious dot to green mac and cheese out there i lost my train of thought real quick because i'm scared about you so creamy doing that and so check out will be to right now score with a view to dot com for details for trip for we're going the sec championship thanks to val vw cream too yes the bears offense let's talk about a big cat they're doing what our pio's this is now first of all we want there's one hundred and eleven a win is a win tough to win this ugly one ugly win is a win okay winning ugly still counts as winning meltdown avoided the bears are a parody of every bears team that's ever been created and that means the defense is great and the offense just makes you want to cry puke do everything
except watching and it's so fucking frustrating and i don't even know at this point like we go the bears go back and forth it's one week like week one the bears don't run the ball mitch throws it forty five times and you say how the fuck is that ever gonna work then you go this week where matt navy doesn't trust mitch whatsoever to throw the ball even ten yards down the field and guess what you can't win like you can't move the ball when that happens so you end up with mitch storing for one hundred and twenty yards and running the ball more than a passage just figure it the fuck out i don't know what the answer is and i know every to say well mitch thinks i listen i don't think he stinks i think they need to just
you're out a way to win with using the things that he's good at i would think that if you have a dominant defense it actually hurts your offense because your offense gets so solo home run being a rally killer exactly get some self conscious about yourself you're like oh man there's so good and we're not as good and then you play worse 'cause you don't have the same confidence guess what though you gotta kick her we gotta kick her eddie piniero unbelievable gods plan he doesn't make that kick if it's they were bought mile high but i don't give a fuck amazing mile high he made it by ten yards down three yarder and the bears are one in one and i think every single game is going to be exactly this just a pain to a board game awful football game where the defense is fit like rogue one smith is a stud eddie jackson is a stud khalil mack is a stud and i know what broncos fans are gonna say the job of roughing the passer was bullshit fine if you want to say that that's fine but guess what they called it like that all game because a leonard floyd roughing
or whatever the i don't even know what the call was he had one that was equally as she landed on the yes so they were calling a shitty game and guess what we ended up with the better call at the end you can't really blame it like it was pretty even evenly poor officiating throughout it was consistent and dick stockton marks players were getting so pissed off up in the booth so if you want to wants to fight gear bowl so he wants to go down there and fight him because he wants to be like you don't know how to play this position he wants to fight him he also wants to fight roger goodell he wants to fight everybody human dick stockton was basically standing on top of each other in the booth they were so close side by side there bulls were touching i don't if you saw that that was just like they had their arms around each other the whole time just lamenting about how this great game is going to shit and it was yeah the officiating did kind of suck especially on those two calls one of them i thought the one against the broncos was worse though because it was
as mitch was in the act of passing and he put it in the land don't know littlefoot calls bullshit gear poles was so bad that they showed there was a holding on the broncos and they just put garrett bulls on camera and they're like actual was on a different guy and schlereth he said well they should it was all different type of your polls held to yourself he was also holding you can call on every play the mark you know i got you cool mac eighties lunch and also i'm ready i'll say something nice about joe flacco he won the game he stinks but he had a nice drive at the end when the bears were completely gas in the use of the whole altitude thing as a chief which was real but can use as a cheat on your kick in this trial so it goes well throughout the two goes both ways even though it literally just goes up but yeah it was with flacco he's never been excited in his life he's ever been upset his entire life he's just kind of always there yeah joe flacco is is the lead leader in being
the league leader in being there he's around at all times he's always hanging out you know that you can count on to put together one good driving game but there's nothing that he loves more in this world than throwing a ball into the flat yeah joe flacco is a fetish and not well four three yard out or not well it's thirteen seventeen he sees a guy in the flat it's a gym verbal meme joe flacco is the boyfriend and there the girl next to him that's his girlfriend is completing a pass more than twelve yards downfield on third and long and then the girl that's walking by is odd inaccurate dump off passed to the flat it is loves it and he's not your
you think that you'd be better at it for some don't you love so much so but he's not that he's always around some guys love feet some guys love letter he likes throwing a ball to is tight and that will get tackled for again engine to yours it is true he is always around in like the greater nfl narrative season to season he's he's like your fifth friend that you don't really want to hang out with but you know that if you have to find someone to go out with you can always text me yeah i'm in yeah i got nothing i never have anything going on i appreciate you calling me a text your first four friends that you actually like in the fifth one comes up you like you talk all right well yeah i guess we go out with joe night let's do it look his dad's rich also my other note is vic fangio had an all time outfit on
and i say the volume one is lots of built gets yeah higher and higher is getting it's good he looks like paul chris step that you can't win like boring yeah not win like that thank you got if you got to change your look i know you don't think it matters but it does yes so the bears it was a win that was exciting but also left me being like work kind of because i don't know how we're gonna keep winning games like this when we play like the broncos are good and the bears barely beat them good news for you you know you have next week the rescue exactly slaughter back to my house the the was a what's any bernard hit the two sound
oh beer rings beers back to my house quick nap boot rally yeah take quick nap before monday night football we'll do it we'll do a mayor's bet on this game but i have zero confidence congratulations on being too and one who feels good okay last game before we get to who's back in some football guy the week saints rams drew brees is hurt and he's hurt bad and he's gonna be out for a while i think he's going to miss half the season oh yeah eight weeks thumb thumb is not it is not good and it seemed like it was similar to what jay cutler had a few to a few yards heels no found the there you go make phone died i was and that's what he had that is going to have to have some surgery i think i don't think it's me i only wanna see drew brees for many weeks and if we do see him and he got set out and he's like i was going to play he's going to be bad yeah no you can't group of all like that so he basically got hurt giving a high
five at high speed to earn donald right he will also got her who also got her later on yeah so now teddy came in and ted is one of those guys were you want him to play well because you want to get that whole stink of him getting hurt and the vikings puking on the field on the practice field and carried off crying all that behind them put all that behind me i want teddy to be back and be good quarterback is it seems like a nice guy they seem like he was on the verge of being good when he got hurt but when i watch him play it's like watching the linda brothers do that the tight rope thing yeah where i'm watching and i'm excited but in the back of my mind i'm just i'm thinking that the worst might happen yes everything at all times also sucks to be to some hell because essentially you
who are sean paytons guma and you keep saying hey when are you going to divorce your wife and settle down with maine and guess what he's not he's not going to do it he's not going to give you are still going to be his guma taysom hill is a slam piece you are in a friday nights for guma nothing less you know what you are and be happy with it he must be upset he must be like pretty pissed off that soul sister champagne is definitely been saying in in conversations behind closed doors like taste them you're like i love you more than i love drew what some day we're gonna we're gonna get a place together in a run away we're gonna i'm gonna get this marriage annulled withdrew and we're gonna get married in order to make this official have kids and everything and then this happens is like what what happened yeah oh i'm your guma ok i know where we're i know where actually yeah he's a guy you fuck he's not the guy you married yeah so sorry tease him um the
screw the saints sir he's a guy you soak yes he's for the wrong guy yeah the rescue the same saints again yep so that's fun that we get to do that again my favorite move the sean penn did was he tries he does this a lot he'll throw a challenge flag on a play that he can't challenge just to make the refs watch more real lays in the play that they fucked up yes great movie it's just get like a little extra like five to ten minutes of berating an official to their face why do they blow it dead it was never blow it dead don't know they're tired let him play they're tired they just want to yes so the rams gut it out you know they actually kind of dominated but i don't know how you judge the scheme without drew brees so i don't know i mean drew brees is gonna be hurt this might be we said that before the season this might be the end for a few of these quarterbacks it feels like the end for you i well i might eli actually if you said big ben drew brees and eli who is the safest eli probably
yes yes he because he always goes self sacks himself i was asking hank this earlier hank tween the the fan base is the patriots and the saints those are probably the two ones that have like the biggest gripes biggest rivalry against commissioner goodell and the nfl who would you say is kudos biggest rival i think the saints are because the patriots fans i was lucky enough to be there twice had been there as the dell has had the hand then the one party trophy they get to boo him which kind of gives them dominance over to dial the same haven't had that you know that come to jesus moment they haven't got to like it laugh in his face and rub it in his face so and they're the ones with the fire in their belly they're the ones that are still like they have something to fight for it's not a rivalry if you if it's one sided right right what you're saying right right so until roger goodell suspends antonio brown and the patriots for signing up and robert kraft mister kraft
getting hand jobs then at that point you'll still have the domination over being like what are you three in one against goodell something like that to know since i mean to placate the flavor to it also sought out to one what i'm gonna kick yeah i'm gonna okay sir to in one since deflate gate so yeah you guys are dominated the saints are basically get those whipping boy yes whatever goodell needs to flex his authoritarian muscles he called in a favor to the reps against the st just make sure you someone gets off on okay let's do who's back pft before we do that do you get a quick something for me yeah i got a quick something something from our good friends at c b d m d football season is in full so playing in everyone but the patriots is fucked watching tom brady bill bella check antonio brown josh gordon demaryius thomas not anymore james white an recurring guest slash thirst trap julian edelman tortured tortured defense every week is going to be
but luckily c b d m d has a full line of high quality premium cbd oil products help you get through these dark days whether you want to drown yourself in pictures stuff your face of dummies or you need something to keep your dog for being scared while you're screaming air defense to just do something c b d m d has you covered better than the patriots cover the spread and even if you're pats fan like hank and me you're going to need some see we need to handle the pressure of planning yet another championship parade to make it even easier to stock up on c b for the season cbt m d is offering the eight of you all's twenty five percent off your next purchase at c b d m d dot com when you use the promo code take at check out again that c b d m d dot com promo code take at checkout for twenty five percent off your next order only one team gets to bring home a trophy during the year but fans of all thirty two teams can experience potential of premium cebu oil price
with c b d md hank where where do we stand on sixteen and no talk i feel good about it oh yeah eighteen you know eighteen to know okay my official prediction was one random loss like one fluke loss in the regular season so this is a tough stretch there caves uh all right let's do who's back of the week seiki question promo code take waited seiki question eighteen and take eighteen and oh you know he said eighteen and one because they're gonna lose again doesn't reset he predicted that zero ninety no no no you want todo es war no every day said eighteen and one they're gonna have one regular season loss and win the super bowl hank just curse the page we did he said they're going to go eighteen and one ah si key question promo code take you get ten dollars off they could lose a regular season game and then going to promo code take hank my seiki question is who or who is back
all my who's back of the week is former recurring guest ash ketchum who ash ketchum pokemon legend we we had him knobs i i would love to have been doing the shell for so long that you could have definitely convinced us but i'm the guys on the news but he won his first pokemon chain which about for twenty two years already routed over trying to be the very best that no one ever was steve young monkey off the back she got really was curse of the goat are you go he won the aloha cup first place champion pikachu's on his back ass i mean honestly like is one of those things where he's been he's been he's been going out for so long i was such a kid when he got in the league for him to finally win one of
it's huge and i can't wait for the east sixty on that domino what is grass ketchum ash ketchum sounds like a country singer that uses auto tune way too much has like they're trying to catch passes like hatcher ash at such as sketchup ask catcher a k a hans okay margin okay that's good it does so he one using the the ticket you card will pictures as as as boy his right hand man well of course because isn't to get you the best yeah it's like you know what to get you is like his like the show you know ash ketchum picture like there are buddy buddy okay god if you're if you're looking at like the ppr like player rankings like pekka choose not up there oh why is pickett you've fallen off you know he's just like a glue utility guy yeah okay gotcha so it's the best cards are black lotus then or zard muthu i'm so fucking lost bulbasaur or squirtle the turtle
you're the squirts squirrels like the lowest one right yeah yeah charm and i that squirrel turner was so cute blast toy that goes a goal scored all then all the sore thank them last toward where did catches mars finish instrument automatic together different tournament mother who's back the way they should do the same thing the bulls are back in the news because if you flip their logo upside down it looks like a crab fucking robot fucking a crap yes so there's some positive news chicago wait their logo the bears were wanted one asshole you take the bulls logo and flip it upside down and looks like a robot bang yeah this goes viral like every five years i was gonna see it does look like it a robot fucking your crab is basically what jason went into the redskins this weekend in maryland fun facts ready for this fun fact the chicago bulls are the only team in nba two never change their logo that's really fun that's a fun fact great maybe they should if there were no there's iterations of the little they've never changed it that is fun
it's fun right yeah yeah things that were cool back in nineteen said it was a fun fact great today fun fact fun facts called history pfd your homes back my who's back of the week is tim tebow so yeah i'm tina i forgot so tim tebow i think he set all time records for me and who's back he's been back probably like seventy times in the history of part of my team had take t tim bad take tim it was back on friday he was on first take our maybe get up with what eating one of those shows and he was talk about the nc double a and he was saying basically that the nc double a our players shouldn't want to get paid they should want to be there so that they can provide joy to the university and joy to fan base and there's too much greed in this world already and so paying the players would add to that already pre existing condition
of people wanting to get paid does tim tebow realize that not every player actually in fact i would say ninety nine dot nine hundred and ninety nine million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine percent of any football players do not win a national championship as the quarterback and become like the darling for an entire state and basically we i have money forever because of that if tim if tim tebow drank he would never have to buy another beer in florida it's insane that he can't for one second okay maybe it's not suite for everyone else and do you see rebel got him or what he said he got him good tim tebow in his famous speech like his promise speech rethinks florida yeah who's had less sex tim tebow or down rebel who because you have to match
and that too weak at ravel like every time he had sex with his wife i think he's only had to count one you can only count by children because i think he only banks to procreate anything else is a waste of time and he went into his bro yeah that's just having sex twice what fast yeah um so tim tebow on his famous promise speech was actually wearing his logo that he was then going to make money off of a soon as he graduated from order so he was already like playing grannies off to brand himself and make money off of himself which goes completely here paper paper critical to what his whole point is like you got to play for the team and just love it and love and being prostitute ten tables thought process ana was essentially like nineteen thirty nine yeah it was listen st listen when tim t will play florida he had a team full of so
selfless players around him like cam newton percy harvin aaron aaron aaron and as in riley cooper okay so like well well there there they were focused on one thing and that's football and that's making the fans happy although i do i do kind of acknowledge one part of this which is if you're a fan if you're a diehard florida fan there's probably part of it that sounds kind of cool for one of your players to have as much at stake in the team as you put into it words i guess that's just because two people weird is like this this guy would play for free yeah and your sucker if you say like i would willingly did not take money if it's being offered to play by the way can we imagine we're recruiting trip must have been like for urban meyer to be visiting tim tivo and like urban leaves the house and thirty minutes later tim t bows like a head coach meyer all yeah you left a briefcase with thirty two
dollars and i wouldn't let you let you bring the police you left your briefcase here i wanted to make sure that you got it back before he got on the plane to the conversation socks because it's essentially either people saying that uh college athletes is like indentured servitude which it's not or people saying there is not enough money when they're clearly iss just figure at the out to figure out it's one of these is more than enough money and it also is pretty good it's pretty good deal right now if you get to you know being a college athlete do you want athlete is probably suite for other things but they should probably get paid a little too if you say they do get paid because they get that's a domination all that his kid took a trip to italy that's right yeah well then just pay me when you get mad at me all right my whose unless you play for tennessee because your volunteer there yeah that's in the title that's the contract that you sense uh kind of a kind of ah related
my who's back i have two of 'em my who's back is urban meyer because urban meyer said he misses football so you think that actually could just be that because he's definitely going to coach so shut out all the people who said that he actually was retiring for real this time you're an idiot and then my other who's back is forgetting that baseballs on some days inn remember september is like total no man's land for and i watch probably eighty five percent of cubs games but when those spring his ankle today i even was like fuck i forgot is helping playing right now 'cause he looked like he died yeah i know that picture was it was not funny but it was funny high ankle sprain it was yeah that sucked i mean the cubs are snakebitten this year but it is one of those things you forget it's sundays every other day i know like cubs are playing everything like that sundays in
call in nfl's going on you just kind of forget that baseball's happening october comes back because no one forgets playoff baseball but september like there's just think about that there's just like fifteen sixteen other sports games playing well and if those going on they should do so it's and we're trying to stand out they should like to color russian so they should end the season september first we tried to do color rush yeah they just they even that's always that's how bad mob is the up color rush yeah their color rush was taking away all the colors yeah yeah very stupid mlb okay so let's go to our segments including football guy the week pfc you got a couple things for us yeah i want to talk to you guys about my friends over at zip recruiter ah hiring could be a slow process we all know that ah want to give a background about a little story here dylan mr which is a really zip recruiter customer who used a recruiter to hire for his company cafe altera all right so
oh this is his testimony based on his employer story kaffee el toro's ceo dylan ms quets needed higher director of coffee for his organic coffee company but he's having trouble finding qualified candidate so we switched to zip recruiter zip recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you it goes out it finds them for you it's technology identifies people with the right experience invites them to apply to your job so you get qualified candidates fast dylan post his job on zip recruiter and said he was impressed by how quickly he had great candidates apply he also used up recruiters candidate rating feature two filters applicants so he could focus on the most relevant ones and that's how dylan found his new director of coffee in just a few days with results like that it's no wonderful we're out of five employers who post on the program we get a quality candidate within the first day see wiser recruiters effective for businesses of all sizes tries to preclude it for free at our web address
cruder dot com slash pmt that zip recruiter dot com slash pmt zipper twitter dot com slash pmt the smartest way to hire these segments are also gonna be brought to you by pellet on i've gotta pellets on bike in my living room i've been using it i'm getting back in shape it's a new year's resolution for wait did jewish new year start i don't know yeah for no not yet i'm told not yet but i'm getting ahead of it i'm using my poets on bike i've been on it like twelve times in the last couple weeks why does men's health call the pellets on bike the best cardio machine on the planet well let's break it down you can't find a workout that keeps you engaged out there all the time so pal aton built an immersive cardio experience with real time features that will always keep coming back you can work up a great great sweat at home for less than the cost of a studio class i love my pellets on bike it fits right in my living room i used all the time i don't have to worry about going to the gym if i don't have a lot of time i use it on friday night after we got back from an interview not cross say where we were it was someplace pretty cool but i got back which was meeting some friends for dinner i got on the pellets ended a twenty minute class got in took a shower i was able to get a workout in in a time that i otherwise would not have been able to it's got a compact four by two size on the bike so it can fit in virtually any space in your home no matter how small and
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if i comment on that which in itself is the comment on that and it's a crafty football guy move saying wait was it find he said yeah i'll get fine i'll get fined for started fine for the rest of my life i comment on that okay yeah it's a great way it's like i'm not touching you yeah it'll get yet since i'm not going to talk about it but here i'm so i'm so mad about it because it was so bad that i would be fine for the rest my life if i talk about it here's a list of all the things that i'm not going to say and i'll start with the most egregious violation and i'm not gonna comment if i were to say the refs are absolute buffoons and totally fucked us over i could say that but i'd be
and fine mmhm so i'm not i'm not going to talk and i'm actually i guess it he he strikes me as a guy that has like his bedroom at home he just writes on it with all the things all those grievances yet or just like scrolling sharpie across every wall will reset it before you just always he looks like a sweaty dog no matter what he's doing he is your sweaty and just a mess and is always turning like bright red he's got the hot in these callers who wears golf shirts but it's callers get so up there like you know when you when you someone really wears a golf shirt and that you take the couple buttons down and then the what colors are so far apart like how did that happen he's got bacon neck on it on his polo should you fight your shirt trying to put it on this morning he probably does you gotta start your day off with a little competition but i see him doing is like almost doing the hulk every single time he gets pissed off so he grabs and he starts to rip but then he hears like his wife's voice in the back of his head like will don't tell your shirts
a guy i promised her i wouldn't all right next up we have bill belichick who said if you don't let them score you can't lose that's fact that is a fact that some analysis for all the people at home if you want to win games don't let them score that's gonna be big bands new take next week yeah that's that's just as smart as saying have to wait can we checked it half the teams is this week have the teams it loses not yet because we haven't had one football correct gardner menchu just for being gardner menchu he was looking unbelievable getting off the plane he did his stretches in his long before hand confirmed in an nfl locker room jockstrap jockstrap i see a gardener menchu just
in government you get some on football by the week and then last one injure yang who is running for president correct yes and he said why would the democrats have a democratic debate or democratic debate on a night where there's football because aren't what is a football team like voters watch football too yeah which is a fact fact yeah and do you mean i would say that it's probably better to do it then because then like you can't no good say hey you're an idiot or no one can watch while joe biden's teeth fall out of his mouth right so there's a lot there's a lot to be gained by bearing yourself underneath football broadcast because you're not going to lose the presidency in this debate or you're not going to win the presidency in a thursday night debate but you can definitely lose it if enough people are watching right and so yeah if you've got if you got pinkeye if you've been eating ass or you had your lower dentures fall out into your wife's butt hole then it would be a bad thing
we'll see you on live tv andrew yang is a football guy though yep i think i think he's got like the turnover chain except for taking your guns yeah like i am an and a big snl no guy he's big universal basic income guide twenty i don't know it's like a salary cap for america so everybody gets one thousand dollars a month which fuck you when i you know i told him like if you gave me a thousand dollars a month i would spend it on the most ridiculous ahead it's my book exactly i would i would just sport i would bet a lot more on sports and i would buy multiple sea doos yes it would be great it was what if universal basic income if you meant like like basic like every month yes i'm gonna get everyone gets pumpkin spice latte is in our los and boots all right to vote for football guy the week we'll try to get them all we're going to put up the pool tomorrow so vote for it next up actually add breaking news
losing high read my waking moving and finally becoming a man the lines have been released thirty three thirteen and a half guess that line we should have to do that just so i think that's a good idea we'll do that write that down we should do that for a whole show okay you gonna be like relatives we could do with caskets that line new guinea cousins are no actually chart those guys are good yeah actually love cell arm in arm all right well well i mean i don't love actually strong word i respect them he is the godfather of white podcasting i don't know why we got down this road all right anyway ah guess that lying in a fucking two for tallis dallas miami so weird when you finish my cat thirty dallas miami yeah uh sixteen and one slash two twenty
and in one slash two i told you the dollar going to break record i'm going to take the office that dolphins are going to break records this year with how ridiculous those lines with things up fit in there we go that's when number one again as friend on the season thank you that's always the case respectful to the patriots patriots and jets there you go hey yeah that is your pot get a headache jack thirteen a at jets patriots address a ten one slash two oh no no no no sorry it's in new england who you are literally fifteen and one slash two i grew seventeen okay we won't do any others know you hank you're right that is disrespectful that's crazy yeah add fuel to fire there's minus six and one slash two of washington yeah there we go that seems about right that breaking moves abroad to buy chocolate for your curry that tastes real good um right to respect the biz for the washington redskins because they have the worst press box in the world
as edward are pointed out among several other correspondence that were in dc for this game it's just it's stuck in a corner and it's under activity underneath an awning so snyder you should be thankful that snyder gives that see to you for free because snyder usually makes you pay eighty two hundred dollars to sit behind a cement pillar which by the way is does obstructed view seats should actually be going for more than the seats were you can get a clear view the redskins sucking every week yeah it's you're doing you a favor yes that's actually the minute he yelled at ex field yeah you don't see what's going on they should just give you a c where you get punched in the face until you black out and don't get to watching the game you forget that even happen and then somebody steals all your clothes off you see don't look like a loser wearing red skins gear just shut up in like your diet coke it's free probably not actually right now it's probably not what it is but it's just expired by
ten years um okay let's finish up with our monday reading ah this one is from the new york post and it is called what it's like to be married to a two complete psycho skip bayliss and it's by email us that's right she's written a book we are members of the urn hive on the show here's a crazy thing they look alike yeah yeah it's very bizarre i i needed her to more like look it's more like an old bag like i was hoping it was you know she's she's attracted attractive but she looks like skip it in a way that shit yeah as attractive is skip bayless could be as a woman's woman that's ernestine i love it because skips are and it was like i don't know what it is about this woman but i'm absolutely drawn to her yes it was because she looks just like him so so there's a
back story they do a little flex where it's like what bayless is describing is how we watch his games and he and his wife five thousand square foot condo that is three rooms seven tv's cool flex but anyway so we're going to get to the good stuff here so when skip ernestine fourteen years ago this is where we pick up that's it yeah and they actually were engaged they dated for eleven years and then got married three years ago then yeah you think you are young lovers you think artist in you think that they've been married for sixty three years and skips only like sixty five ok so she so when they met and they were like courting each other this sounds very romantic skip said i told her i'm married to my job i always have been and i had this weird feeling this could go somewhere i told her if it ever does
you'll always be eight or one eight to my job she hates me telling that story but it's the god's truth at least i devote divulge myself up front which i think she grudgingly appreciated cool that like i said love is in dead no i let's keep in earnest i like that at least he was being honest that i mean if you're getting into a relationship with skip bayless there's probably a lot of things you need to know ahead of time but you definitely need to know that at any given moment skip might just flip out and start ranting about lebron james kwai leonard and t bone yeah alright so for this story she emailed the post to promote a new quick read book titled balls how to keep your relationship alive when you live with a sports obsessed guy this is a parody book title i love it falls
togetherness thing on the show boys five balls ah i can't believe i can't believe she beat my greenberg's wife to this one dot eight balls like that that's the upset of the century isn't it yeah this this should be written by my cream well i don't think that she would use balls in the title she would have like test ese you know took us is took it the thing around the other side of the truck yeah scrotum took it all right so she earnestine says we don't have a moderator who lives in the house hilarious get it like they always moderate on the you know she says they do not argue all the time but she also fits her life around his games and his two a dot m weekday wake up calls though they sleep
in separate rooms during the week his treadmill workouts can be heard from her bed she wrestles to fall back asleep but always rises a little before four to see skip to the door and wish him luck in his verbal tv battles with shannon sharpe that this is really truly romantic she make sure their afternoons are set up so skip does not miss anything in sports sports is sports in his veins earnestine said if you cut him a little footballs and basketballs will come out that's pretty sweet skip is a sports guy skip doesn't miss a game sounds like this like this like a children's i feel like you skip wrote the neat skip and he loves sport i think yeah i think wrote this paragraph and this is the most in during version of skip i like that they sleep in different bedrooms during the week during the week meaning we can on weekends it's fucking it's like long distance girlfriend in college visits were talking like some walls are getting blown i think about that for a second if it's a weekend skip bayless is
fucking ernesti yeah is it friday is it friday is it friday past five hundred o'clock on the west coast because right now skip is all and one of ernestine's very is or if it's all our crevices yeah good for them yeah i think they have a they they have a relationship that seems unconventional yep but it works for them there's probably a lot of times when they're trying to fox maybe if this is like around eight hundred or nine on the weekend she's acquits matter skip you can't get it up and he's like it's just that damn mason crosby field goal god damn it make some cross bar it should have gone in it started out going to the left and then turned to the right all right so
when they started dating erstein's mother evelyn told are these people just all named like from the 19th century earnestine and evelyn told her she had to make a decision about these games is he worth it she said she decided yes fourteen years later she wrote the book to try to help others deal with significant others who are addicted to sports or a skip puts it a bit nuts about games i lose it said skip i'm a psycho i vent i say words that i can't repeat that i'm ashamed i say gosh darn it got started quiet's good yeah this lebron guys not that bad but it's jinxes where skip is completely psycho in his words everything has to be just right because he evidently has cosmic powers i believe in god but i also believe in jinxes said bayliss answer a question that did not include god in it that's such a good inter marcia so good at this like a little so uh it turns out last year during the f c championship game when tom brady was intercepted in the end zone by the chiefs reggie ragland
it was caused by ernestine ruining skip zen brady did that because she stuck her head in to ask me about something that was completely irrelevant skip set of ernestine asking about a letter he had received this is crazy then all think about this hank bradys goat status is literally all because of skip bayless yeah the guy behind the guy is because
yes whenever tom brady's playing well it means that earnestine is far away from the er seen staying in her bedroom where she belongs at least two doors in between myself and earnest ing tom brady's player fuse could be shorter than mine and we had a battle all night long we kissed the made up i'm gonna add this and went to their separate bedrooms ah we kissed and made up of the end of the night i said i'm sorry but it is just a jinx rule that you have to honor this this is truly psychotic d'oh do you think skip in the middle of the night feels a little bit randy sometimes makes walk tiptoes down the hallway and knocks on ernest ings door right before his treadmill workout yeah ah they usually honor friday nights is date night unless there was a particularly big game it's all about compromise earnestine said i don't think it yeah i guess i mean it sounds like a lot of compromising coming for view both people both agreed yeah compromise with skip we both agreed to yes sleeping in different bedrooms she has learned to make it work which is the point of her book she has the greatest thing she's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me skip said
get emotional about it because she's so real so true and so loyal i don't know anyone who could put up with me but she has from day one we're not we're not just good together we are great together damn it's so slow that's so sweet love and i love all of this is like a story about scenes book and she's quoted like three times it's just all skip bayless is quote so they know what sells that they know the sizzle they are currently being greeted
skip would do the interview for honesty in a compromising said that script would we give all the quotes for this one i think little theater in turn out there skip has a second family was stephen a smith during the week yeah that's why he makes her stay away from an and sleep in separate beds i also like that we have like a whole story a a whole book that was written to explain why skip bayless is a cycle path i think we do need the book we knew our well look at his twitter although and skip bayless is mind this does this book serves to humanize him a little bit this sure is like anyone it does give me hope skip bayless can find love anyone can find love true that's true of a man who if you caught him baldwin phone calls pop bones everywhere it's like it's like uh opening up a bag at the gym class in third grade balls everywhere yeah god bless him yeah okay i would watch a skip bayless sex tape though oh for sure it's beyond both are in very good shape yeah watching those soon like that's like one the first thing you would want for watching a sec
they should absolutely should absolutely do one where he's on the couch watching a game and she pokes her head and he's like not now tom brady is playing my cowboys are trailing in the fourth quarter and she like there's a little striptease the sex tape doesn't actually involve any sex at all it's just her trying to initiate sex getting naked and skip bayless ignoring her and then her going back into a room with an eight by ten of stephen a smith that's our show will see everyone wednesday huge guest bigger than gronk very big yeah love you guys
coming
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it's part of my take presented by bar stool sports
Transcript generated on 2019-09-16.