« Pardon My Take

Scott Van Pelt Live From Vanny Woodhead

2017-10-18 | 🔗

The Cubs are in trouble and Gordon Hayward is dead (broken ankle) (2:12 - 7:14). The guys talk about Barstool Van Talk Episode 1 that premiered on ESPN2 (7:14 - 16:11). MLB Playoffs and start to the NBA season. Hot Seat/Cool Throne (16:11 - 23:29). Recurring guest HoFer Scott Van Pelt joins the show live from Vanny Woodhead for an extended interview about how we sold out and what has changed at ESPN plus an update on how he's dealing with twitter trolls (23:29 - 47:52. Segments include Trouble in paradise for the Bulls, Explain it to ourselves for Ezekiel Elliot, Mike Greenbergs Dumb Rules, Protect the Shield, and Guys on Chicks.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
on today's part of my take we have scott van pelt the stuff he didn't hear from our debut premier episode of barstool van talk on espn two really fun interview scott is one of our favorite recurring guests we also talk can baseball we got hot see cool thrown an because it's wednesday guys on chicks before we get to all of that wanna talk to guys about draftkings it's week six and football season is in full swing which begs the question how is your fantasy football team doing maybe you drafted a dud in the fourth round or your first round pick is on the shelf with a bum knee the good news is it's not too late to forget the injuries an get back in the winning column with draft kings one week fantasy football will draft kings there are many ways to play choose between public contests with big cash prizes or private contest where you can complete compete against a group of your friends the best part is you get to draft a new team each week without any commitment so get to drop
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no prizes the contest is totally free to enter why wouldn't you try draftkings the game inside the game eligibility restrictions apply see draftkings dot com for details let's go it is wednesday october eighteenth and gordon hayward's leg is side ways well yeah it was the sound like real happy about that no i'm not interrupting taken demonstrators reels of burying the cubs right there so it looks like i don't like to me little shot at your man's hank at him these things like your own after all right so here's here's a story we're gonna get into a bar stool van talk in the debut in the premier hope everyone watch if you didn't it was espn to our new show it's gonna be every
tuesday night wednesday morning one hundred am espn two we're going to talk about how we put it all together i'm looking at hank right now as a collective group i think we've slept like four hours in the last two days hanks eyes or just completely read it so is that from lack of sleep yeah so twenty somewhere let's talk sports actually not how time zones work if you know anything it's actually like it's not always for twenty it's always work yeah if you're high enough all right let's talk sports you like sports let's talk sport i love sports seriously though and that gordon hayward thing yeah that was one of the nastier injuries that i've ever seen in a live game before it's it it was one of those ones where everybody looks away within you immediately run to twitter to try to see what like a all the slow mo replace all the angles it was paul george it was sean living sin it was kevin where for all you older people out there it was will forget he which was the throw back injury that we only got like one really good replay about our use all the all the older people out there yeah willis manages not remember house and
yeah he doesn't remember willis mcgahee and remember nine hundred and eleven yeah ok great so my favorite thing when it shouldn't say favorite the thing i think funny happy but not no i'm not kidding i'm not happy that i said the thing i'm misery cat loves comforting i am most i think is funniest when an inch let me stop you know not like that makes it easier to get them pretty anymore so excited for the season and then before you can even watch it on a single second let me let me handle this works as a fellow survivor of a foot injury let me just say it looked like suck but you should have drank more recovery water speak english we are like almost one year anniversary of when i got bit by a dog not steal your shine their record a word so you go ahead what what what i i notice is
there are certain injuries that happen in sports where all of twitter is just or oh my god and no description of what's happening and it's just a string of 'em later it's like ok so either we just like fired a nuclear bomb or gordon haywards ankles sideways i could think it was the latter i've spent zone one here you can't get well it's tougher to get cold for traveling if you only have one foot good zero hey
it was dislocated ankle right yeah here's a good joke that you can use okay hey lebron james you could learn a lot from gordon hayward about how to establish a pivot foot who okay the last dragon by the way i appreciated shift lever on travel shifty coming over the top here and he said celtics announced scored he were diagnosed with a fractured left ankle thinks that thanks thanks adam was it was it the fact that his foot was ninety degrees was that was that what tipped you off in addition sources are telling me that he will be seeing a doctor yeah it's rare that you get the structure in basketball when you get the structure basketball bad things have happened this summer at all this is exactly what happens we take prayer out of the nba so hank as a celtics fan wow how you feel i mean i don't it it just like it never he never was a celtic is true it's true no celtic for life now i did say there is a cruel there is like if you get hurt on the job for life goes it there is like a cruel cruel part of having an injury so early in the season
a couch where did that the two years ago or last year whatever year it is it's two thousand and sixteen right oh cubs world series champions he did it last year like third game of season it sucks 'cause you're like oh so hype so hyped boom injure hockey player to finish that shift that shift problem at the other game kevin durant lacks clutch gene doesn't get the ball off on time so that's got back in that you can kevin durant do you think you'll ever win an nba championship not not where he's the elf on the team now don't beta ball yeah all right i guess we have talked about it cubs stink and that was cup stock well so we can't wear you out on the poop well i'm not going to put meter the panic button i'm going to assume is firmly press so everyone wants to blame the bullpen which has been terrible question walks on walks on walks on wireless is just sleeping so i know but i think the real problem is the cubs can't hit anymore they forgot how to it's like joe boo we need hats for bats and dead
it's the bats come alive and like every witchcraft you could think of and then maybe the cup score more than one i am okay i wasn't panicking i wasn't planning until i saw mark to shera said the cubs need to win game four just put on some lucky underwear so anything that word were now in must win territory must win or can't lose yeah it's must win so this will go bus when it's going to be a fuckin' must win on wednesday night factor fiction joe maddon is a big like incense guy he's a big wine guy i would've probably yeah he's but he's an incense guy though he i imagine he's one of those incense guys that's not an incense guys he's just a i want to cover up my weed guy oh wait i thought we talked about incest incense incense yes since they have somebody is an instance capably just probably switch sir bob marley his little van switch up to smells yeah go to like lavender maybe some petulia as i was called patchouly actually actually whatever all the fish smell like
and then in the other game the yankees here's what they should buy me out hank the yankees i think are gonna win the world series i'm actually going to say that now they have the they have what we call the look i was gonna say the aura actually yes the or or i don't know i don't know or is it just basically when you when you come back to win at least two games in the playoffs then your team of destiny there's a distinct that you haven't seen in a long time but there is a distinct feel when the yankees have the aura and it's like you know whatever
is forty thousand drunk new yorkers with like backwards hats and jewelry and pick you rank just been screaming and hi top fades yeah what is this green is on underneath their jerseys that's your and it it it matters like the astros they're going to go into the game on wednesday but i go the aura is here team of destiny yeah first you can it's babe ruth this is the holy ground floor favor if it was actually that's after just a parking lot next door where do you think stephen used to be i like how the new yankee stadium is it's the same dimensions because they respect history yeah except they sold like all the advertisements to like mortgage banks yeah and like a subprime lenders all right should we get to our hot sequel to no let's let's talk more tv show real quick one do it not to brag so we are on tv we we don't plan on doing this all the time but i think it should be addressed causes are for sure maybe plug out so didn't watch you should start watching so it was an interesting week to say the least we work pretty hard at it i think i'm is it
is pft get serious time did you take off your pants it was fun it was a lot of work i would say evaluate this first episode like you would a rookie draft pick quarterback ok first question is your mom a prostitute yes ok no no it shows mom is a prostitute end of story but what i'm saying is like i think it should promise i think no it's not going to be perfect first summer we're going to build on it what you see like a month from now too much probably going to be very very different product and we put out tonight not to say that tonight's shows bad i think it's funny i think it's very funny be careful here would really the story is we did it we did the show in like four days and we put it together and what happens when you do a show in four days you feel good about it but you also watch it and you're like i wish you other chance at that i wish i had another chance to that so i think i mean i'm excited because i think it's going to be fun just like this show the
first episode apart my take was terrible i don't think i think this was a good yes what a partial grant us we just it's got it once we evolve once you get better i'm i'm it pumped yeah let me play that sand box for a while sir how to build a castle right exactly look into the camera i have trouble looking the camera go look in the game i had and we had a slight yeah we have what you can't i have trouble saying seafood theft yes see who i know who the f t th you know the problem was not to make excuses they ask is the phone very early in the morning all my gosh we're nine oh like god so we filmed at like what seven thirty we got all the clock we got up at i've been getting up at six am i don't know who who the gets up and so i will say this right now his attitude toward the people that are less okay and whatever but it's at that's ungodly do we you know what i noticed when you get a generally feel the same because the estate up washed yeah you probably have a a miserable face on right now i i notice that when you get up at six am every single person on the street just looks like they would want to be doing anything but what they're doing right that moment so one of the one of the grading the homeless guy who just like just taking a he probably is like i wish i was still sleeping yeah one of the one of the charms that we found for shows we stumble into a lot of of things end up being very funny and very like
engaging for audience which i love but i think tonight's was the fact that if your dog was watching which we we did tell you to have your dog watch if your dog was watching the show and you berman sounds your dog i will try to attack the tv we we had dozens of clips sent to us by viewers by howard winning watchers yeah like the mooch with their dogs just freaking out on the tv it also was it was one of those ones were like hey guys like act like you're excited to be in the prime time set really we don't have to act yeah we were talking cool this is our entire childhood right now yeah all right so tune into barstool van talk it is like we said tuesday nights wednesday morning one am tuesday night one of them one tuesday wednesday morning at one am so if you watched it alone twenty five hundred dollars there we go on wednesdays but
well no two thousand five hundred on tuesday he gets one hour or one hour one hour on wednesdays go dark sixty yeah make sure you watch we appreciate everyone supporting us like we said it's gonna be fun to watch it evolve we're going to fund like episode twenty like holy shit this is way better than me one but i'm still was good we're going to stand by that yeah i'm sure i was sure it's good let's let's look at the schedule aki look at this so yeah we we i mean we didn't play anyone tough this means now that we just played herself also might be good yeah yeah either a we're not gonna put we're not gonna cross it off yet all right let's get not see cool drum before we do that one talk to guys will blue apron blue apron is the number one fresh ingredients and recipe delivery service in the country transmission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone blue apron this by supporting a more sustainable food system setting the highest standards for ingredients and building a community of home chefs cooking
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or way to cook i also want to talk to you about our friend michael rapaport who's going to be on the show on friday he's in a new show called white famous it's on showtime it's an original comedy series executive producer jamie foxx and tom kapinos the creative california kacian it premiere on sunday but you can catch up and it's on show time like we said new episodes sundays at ten pm only insured and you're watching what are saying very like that was what was rap on it yep he was good at accent okay did go ahead go ahead go ahead all it's a check it out the new show it's called white famous it is on showtime sunday nights like we said michael rap we're going to be on the show we're going to talk with him on friday it's going to be fun white famous alright hot sequel thrown why don't you go ahead think ahead my hot seat is trailer park boys
come on man this is a little bit of a different taught seat then we usually have but unfortunately the guy who played jim lahey passed away who sang mundell no put him on see should heaven now this is just a little attributed to him kripp yeah ok i see you got see to a dead guy who doesn't know how to teach the tv show 'cause i can't keep going on anymore because one of the main characters and actors still going on yeah that's movie show that's one of those shows that i'm better than ours is pretty sure i would like not anymore everyone said used to be everyone tells me i would love that show and i believe them it's just who has time for another show yeah everyone says that i want you to listen that if you heard that just get i said that because you do have time for show it's fun you have time for exactly
exactly one more show all right and who's your culture how michael throne is our friend tom crean hope college basketball but start is gonna be a lot of coaches on the hot seat for already on the coach k and coach k after i've heard that the f b i's snooping around sniffing around do countries a guy co tom pain is our friend he's circle of trust friend love love to eat fun fact we told tom in that we were
possibly in to get a show on espn like three months ago we can't tell anyone and then the day we announced detects me is like i didn't tell soul tom green because it keeps you can keep a secret has anybody done like a one eighty in our hearts faster than tom well he's he's like our favorite here my lover alright we got pft my hot seat is big cat so big cat big time hot seat because the cubs down three zero good yeah you've got a diaper that's almost totally full full day prom so it's question around that also means we might get suicidal began on friday
if you want to sign that you need you know the suicide of big cat will not come out with a sweep because a sweep is just getting the kicked out of you and it's like well we weren't even close late that this right here folks is the premature spends on to set up a cat the company to win tomorrow night and then lose in heartbreaking fashion on thursday when i've already done the math and been like okay so we got lester and we got for you know can tana we're gonna be good we go to la we can win so yeah it happened and then my cool thrown it is number one the forty niners for the gambling lock they've lost the last what five games by three point to ask their cover machines i'm gonna keep riding those cow real writing those niners they're playing the cowboys this week as you given your yahoo account at alaska fries you know in advance my other cool throat is brett hundley because i have you saw mike mccarthy got asked if he was planning on bringing in call capen or any other veteran backup quarterback
carthy does this thing that he likes to do we just gets purple he turns purple and just screams at the reporters mumbles yeah because he's not bringing in a veteran he's got a great quarterback room yeah he's got hunley and then some guy probably named callahan i think that's never played a snap you know what i would watch i'd watch press conferences if they gave us that wide shot you can see that like it's just a little project you know little like not tarp right behind them and then it's just a regular room yeah i think those are always funny when they show shots because like michael card these not only mad he's not only purple in the face you screaming but he's standing in front of like a five by seven cut out of like yeah yeah right like white castles like white castle burgers it i mean the pageantry just it's wonderful so yeah he was screaming at the reporter not going to bring in a veteran quarterback and then my other cool thrown out in another one you know
fun no no no i don't i don't want to say anymore go ahead yeah i want it i want it you go ahead go ahead no no seriously go no come on it wasn't good hey can you help us go come on no come on and say that radio i think actually cut this i'm not gonna say why come on just say i just happen to have one here i'm going to work and when i say something don't have enough you want someone who didn't have another one so you can try to make cuts yeah don't cut this no radio is bad radio pfds mystery phantom cool throat cut it we'll never know yeah give me an apology okay all right i'll go to las hot school through hot seat pfds cool thrones i my hot seat is the eagles in this is quick just i end no the team goes just seems like it's too good right now you know
philadelphia can't have nice things so carson wentz a lot of buzz you stole my heart seat from last week did you have it just it philadelphia ok we're falling apart here alright so my other hawks eat i'll switch to my second hot seat it is everyone out there who's listening an also owns talk in larry the goldfish so if you watch barstool van talk we actually purchased a packer stock for larry in his name we didn't purchase it someone got sent to us by award winning listener hayden so shot out hated he transferred the stock legally to leri leri in addition to you didn't have a stipulation that i had a
wild rice yes yes oh hayden i'm sorry that i make fun of packers for owning fake stocks an because i'm so sorry i'm going to give this fake stock to my goldfish and now the goldfish is going to own a fake stock of the packers sorry sorry did so you better do apology thank you very prescient it your big man appreciate it i don't look at me like that so everyone who owns laree now has to make roster decisions this is what we call diversification yeah so not only do you own a share of a gambling goldfish but you also own a share of packer stock owned by that gambling goldfish soona packers or that yeah make sure that larry is in good spirits think good thoughts about him because he's making some very serious personal decisions this week do you think anyone out there realizes that were just like
but muddying all the waters with the owners of the owners of the owners and then we're going to steal all their money it's like how the nba does it ever going to say the packers lost so much money this year that actually were not able to pay you any of larries winnings because they all have to go to cover the packers lost hey breaking moose now that larry owns a stock of the packers were going to open sale of laree stock for one more week we do that yes i'm going to do it you know what fuck it fuck everything all of our bosses were doing it right so not only will you become a shareholder in lerri but you'll also be technically
an owner of the green bay packers that's over so go to the bar stool sports store right now all you gotta do is by the larry the goldfish shirt that says owner and you will get an actual certificate in the mail saying that you only the goldfish who went four and one this week so he's on a heater and he owns a team all right my cool throne is wrestling so triple h is a nutritionist do you see this you hear about this he got caught up in some kind of like each each steroid stinger some sweet to go on the air you think yeah well but they asked me if triple h does our our any steroids and he said no big because wrestling has very strict odd drug tests so cool throne wrestling it's clean everyone knows it clean triple h is he if i don't know if you follow wrestling which triple h he's gone corporate
so he sits in a suit all day and he has like a twelve pack but he doesn't do steroids 'cause it is it yeah 'cause wwe history stuff it's let's keep it clean all right let's get to our interview with scott van pelt from vanny woodhead before do that he got some force i do yeah i want to talk to you guys about indochino i'm a proud owner of an indochino suit it feels great it's it's great because it's made to measure my own personal experience of the neutrino was flawless i measured myself they sent me a suit it would look great i've wanted to actually like every every formal occasion i get invited to which is where the energy to suit because it's the only suit that i own but they're making it easy to get a perfectly tailored suit at an incredible price for you you can choose from hundreds of top quality fabrics and personalize your suit j
the way you want whether it's for work a wedding or another special occasion they've suited up hundreds of thousands of men and are now the largest made to measure men's wear brand in the world here's how it works you visit our show room i can shop online at into it you know dot com you pick your fabric you choose your customizations from appels depletes the jacket linings you submit your measurements and then you place your order and wait for it to arrive in just a few weeks and this week my listeners can get any premium indochino suit for three hundred and seventy nine bucks at indochino com when entering promo code pmt at checkout that's fifty percent off the regular price for a made to measure premium suit plus shipping is free that's indochino dot com promo code pmt for any premium suit for just three hundred and seventy nine bucks and free shipping an incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off the rack ever could i feel like it's been forever since i've vaped ok cool alright here we go
all right yeah i don't know all right so we wait for the table i just in case we can all right scott van pelt the first ever episode of bar stools and talk can one came to you're looking at one time it was me that like emma yeah we sure it's actually started let's start there three top how do we i get good how do we get rid of tv you're asking you're asking the wrong guy there big cat can no i think the key is keys to be relaxed so you're good there right now yeah nervous where's the vape pen it doesn't smell in here by the way yeah it does i meant i had and i had an idea in my head of what would be its itself it's it's fractionally worse it actually smells a lot better than it did when we were living out here so i can imagine
i never thanks for signing up around here i never know if it's my moscow warden vance wants is kind of like become one has both all right so how's your tv show during let's start with that i don't so we ran late no one pays money or you can't do cycle guide ratings how's it going yeah or
or failing as it is a place and as i know we're doing alright i think we listen we've we've carved out a nice little spot for ourselves running people kind of have an idea what we do people like some of this maybe they don't like all of them whatever we get what's your week it's been weak this bet that's a good right now it's winners because they're all losers that's kind of ironic in a way because you're so bad yeah but i care so what do you do you guys care about the goal officially you want to go first to do it yes right yeah well yes so that we can to fraud we've we've got the word fraud yeah for legal issues that we can to fraud are investors and then take all the money yeah right now i think larry has what like twelve hundred thirteen hundred investor yet so masters so what we've done is we've basically created entire ponzi scheme where the the the rock of the ponzi scheme the funds that come in the bus liquid are leri himself so yeah we warm you well understood jail right now for so that's a good thing for you have investors i i winners are bad but we have we have some fun some people like that conversely people like the bad beats a lot yes like they they just moved in so they we've we've created our own network of sort of production assistants or something awful happens like a sunbelt game that we're not
aging immediately we get that feedback from that from the pot the pot can i say though that the bad beats i sometimes can't watch it because they're so bad right if you've been through it it actually gets to a point where it's like i can't watch like the it's like a gory film like hi this is eileen it's like watching song one of the boys that don't yeah that room right exactly so it do you do you sometimes feel bad that you're really playing like a snuff film i understand that but i mean i had a i had a real blink chapter many many moons ago where things went really off the rails so in a way i think it's instant it's kind of instructed it's it's it's a it's a don't go in that room just don't don't put together ten
three team teasers i was one with money but now it is it's a guaranteed winner is what it is very good because he's he's just can't lose it and all that just take three favorite look as it takes well how many pounds is the camera add to you because i need i feel like i can put on some weight you're kind of a streaming at nine oo and in person it looks like the the camera but some like thirty extra pounds on your friend roughly roughly so people are gonna people are gonna have you pegged as like a nose guard okay i'm i get done terry po type yeah they got from the dolphins that coach could be using those cards wound well hello yeah there we go sure we troopers strippers yeah there it is not so yeah i don't think i know you see coke let them figure it is a good question scott weird turned yes
it depends on what kind okay snickers yes but not as far as we were candy bar are all you know what you're i forgot you're one of those i'm on tv you guys i don't eat candy well i i smashed candi i just wanted to reach these count as a can yeah we do that we actually yeah we had a little moment recently our our whole team on sunday nights we watch the sunday night football game and then we have our intern liam go out and get us just as much candy as possible okay and we have the realization like maybe this isn't so healthy because it's basically every single sunday night but right
you're saying it doesn't matter once you're on tv the checks are going to come in and clearly you sell it kind of require rolled up here and that's just boom right over there it all the candy you want that i'd say for breakfast receives put him in the freezer kids that's the next level stuff like everyone knows that and the only one one at a time one at a time should we should we be wearing suits why not look at you you're like such a journalist no i'm not it's just look at him he looks like you're going to court i mean as a lower maybe or maybe as a defendant it could've been i've been i got thrown out of court once i was a traffic it was a traffic situation and i was a pool manager and i went in a bathing suit and i was kicked out of court true story the judge threw me out said you need to show more respect to my court and i'm like i'm not even supposed
here's like as a witness as wearing a bathing suit does not was a one piece of service it was a unitard it was a super snug not it's not his bobbs merrill bob stoops was in yeah i'm really trying to keep that i try to keep their hands yeah yeah yes but not not me i'm more to soon i'm trying to keep everything sorted yeah sort of here down the middle no shoes for you guys you guys look great you're calling market share is famous because he wears a jockstrap nothing else on the suit that's i didn't know that breaking news always just millimeters away from from a really bad situation yep i didn't know that podcast dot yeah no no i knew that when it when it when i was there right right sir how are you thank you three i have a few my license is help yeah three times do rita how are you doing this one how are you doing with twitter trolls i don't know man i trust
which i feel like right now honestly right now everyone so mad at everything and everybody is that the level of anger is this donna xing lee high can't hide from it and so i'm largely just trying to stay away because you there's people are so mad about everything so i mean i'm trying okay i know you're trying what about gambling twitter trolls because that's a special breed i've gotten scott into it before where you throw out a pick and if you don't if if people assume that you're gonna win a hundred percent of the time and then when you don't you have held you do and that's a that that's that's why i'm not doing i'm i'm doing as well with twitter gambling trolls as i am with my picks which is to say not very well okay because when because when you win after somebody says you're not going
when you want more than anything in the world yesterday soccer is yes yeah the axon about that anybody on gambling tour that's not a troll like anyone who's just real i don't think so i wish i together and like this this is always the question of what's the worst twitter gambling twitter is is in v i p of the worst twitter it's definitely theirs is the via now i don't know if they're in the uber vip up top and we're like with jay z is that's in all look who's there oh i thought we were vip know you're kind of in body but there in my twitter trolls are definitely in the vip of the clubs where you did it all wrong because i am an honorary member of gambling twitter i'm like kind of just passing through when people like me but i don't they know i'm an idiot right so there's never like oh big cats going to get out like what would i goat out with so i think gambling twitter as long as you play it right and you don't pretend that you know winners
you're good but see i i i i do i do pretend yeah right exactly that's your problem it is my it is because i want so does all i wanted to be right i mean i i that's all i just wanna be able to go about that and then re tweet the guy that said your picks up but right now that guys right and so that's a losing battle for me right now when was the last time you took a fee you never take favorite adult yeah thirteen underdogs yeah in the worst teams you take little warmer steam i sure do they make your stomach like turn when you have the bat but not kansas never again kansas you off the list after last week no more okay i took a fate i took a favorite last year i took all burned against arkansas i think they were given like ten they won by forty so maybe this week it's just all favorites just shocking nick shockers yeah i just lay him about that sometimes you got to do it not as a whole bunch of dogs are like this which i know you do you do you actually look at the board and i i can actually predict what you like because it's like what
the games that i hate the most that's what scott's going to take and you'll win in long term well when we're still when i had to show back in the day it's a couple of years in a row and he loves to make fun of me 'cause i would i would just casually drop sixty percent 'cause that's what we're hitting and that's the gold standard test the threshold celerity very true yeah yeah i mean that's rest in peace in peace but i had a couple of sixty percent years and then so that made me think i really could get out and knew what i was doing and i had this clairvoyance and i could identify the underdogs no i just pick the games everyone else likes the other side up but this year the other side is winning you're just a contrarian you're looking to skip bayless of gambling wo what do i never thought about that but that's there's some truth to that here you you can really china were you we need to handle again the yeah
you got some weed out the hand dog i do have a vape which is basically the same kind of like the miles yeah story you just told by the way that every single person who's ever gambled has had that moment where they're like i figured it out i've had it you have your buddy who text you like hey i finally figured it out and they just got hot for a minute without again i knew a guy who thought he had a system for baccarac imagine being that idiotic like no no dude there's like a trick and i know it oh do you well then cool let's fly out private and just when the house yes oh shit that's not how it worked it wasn't actually system it was just a cool five minutes around a market inefficiency and scratch offs right i'm gonna get a games i got it shout out to the what i think is what is what is coming to call himself that now the consortium the conglomerate shout out to the conglomerate so i think it was something that you're dealing with twitter trolls another day not very you ever thought about developing like you know kevin durant like some some ghost account like maybe not not the fake svp
flying you know but if i but if i did i think i think i'd be clever enough to know when i was in that account of what i was you have to make sure that you're in like a different apple to use one with the website youth one with that you what you'd you'd hope if if you'd hope if you're going to go down that road in and pretend to be someone else that you do you have medically just in case he would scratch is just kicking it around submitted that he has twitter troll accounts but he's smart enough to sign out and no i really i really i'm not check the tape tape the table tell you right now the wind it will watch it watch our show one hundred am do check basis yes you're the leading and then you have to change the channel tell me when we sign off i'll say hey turn the channel yeah that will make whoever is coming up after you very happy nealon stand from that were actually the lead in the best part about this show is where the lead into the replay of the awesome people love that whoever missed you know louisiana
tomorrow or whatever please drawing so i can read and yeah you're going to you're not feel any thousand option i get a real question for you do you yes all right for a while quick because my questions again read it yeah we got ready yeah real question okay all right real question are you ready it's been for a very long time yep now many years seventeen year seventeen here are we obviously have been at our company for a long time and then there's an evolution process that goes for what has changed espn and how do you deal with like the evolution and things changing and people saying i don't like this guy used to like this and kind of a sell out seeing the whole point on selling out is anyone that tells you your cell on the people gonna tell you
yeah every single one of them would would trample their grandma to be on espn two this is there's just so so i so how do we how do we deal with this and the people who call cell the naysayers yeah the rabble rousers forgets them yeah turn off the shoulder it's hard to do it's it's it's easy to say hard to do because you you're going to want to retain the essence of what you guys are and what made you great sincerely i don't know what it's like what word i have to say to me and this is like you know you should do you should flash serious talk or something let's get serious yeah let's hope we do the browser settings browsers logo comes across right with that you know that is yeah well let's just see what we got going there with who done it's two thousand and seventeen right here like people have people watching that and this simultaneously which is kind of that's a whole other genres careful what we talking
how do you deal with it fuckem because who are they to tell you you're not supposed to be doing this right i mean you succeeded and now you're succeeding in a different place and it it's you've you've won which one is the one where you leave somewhere succeed or succeed you secede from the union so we should get it we should get a statue made for us yes sure but all the haters spaces understood if i if i go out people or i'm just out in the world and people will come up to me this is a true story more people than i can count in the last six months will say hey man i love you on part of my tank and i'm thinking well that's great we have a show if somebody just comes up to you and says it's kind of love you and pardon my take
question the honesty new breath you like damn it no i just i just hate us know exactly one of our relatives no it isn't it's warning listeners and there are everywhere but it is it's funny how many people will tell me that just because you we do again we have a tv show that were on so it's like if you like it it's midnight if you'd like to give out a bunch of losers sportscenter love sports a lot yeah yeah always has so it's a center of sport as it's the worldwide leader is the is the epicenter play sports we did long ago okay all right what does this do you play
right now i play old man in a van had loser what's your handicap because you always talk about golf do you play the game now i i haven't turned in the industry as people crazy because all go to the of the place somewhere in the say which you can get no no i haven't turned in a scores because you have to turn in the scores to have him again i haven't so i have absolutely no idea my handicap is and that makes people mad if i played if i played nine holes of golf with you i would expect to have a couple of three four bars maybe two or three bogeys and then that would be four holes to be complete disaster i don't know man at least so the good the good would look representative and you say are your decent off but then the bad would go jesus got isn't playing off at all so
brutal so that's a long answer your question i have no idea don't have one on a scale of ten tivo to john daly how many beers when you drink and idols ten people thank you also not i'm not i'm not a maybe that's the problem yeah it has a broad ranges yeah because i got buddies we play a par three golf at the beach and by the time that we play the second eighteen apart three one my friend has just had at least one beer per hole and he's blitzed out of his mind i so he goes deep under par golf talk yeah wait yes that's maybe that's it maybe i just need to get just a light on the whiskey i like you're thinking too much yeah alright last question were moved to the mount rushmore stuff okay make sure my ties you have you look great thanks bye yeah you look great i said to literally everyone gets in as an actual topless pay so little that little tip for you for when you have people on tv just tell your guy should look at all even if they look terrible i will i will do that tonight we just did that a lot you have a new set it's beautiful do you ever worry about like the set breaking down getting flat tire i don't okay so that's something we don't have to worry about in tv they were sort of just like decided phone this entire show out of a nineteen ninety two van that breaks down yeah you just leave it here and then they come up here have have a limo service you guys are tv stars just expense when did you become a diva how longer that's it yeah probably i'd say a couple of two or three years and then i was just like very demanding i'd start chesterton berating to help what's your what's your writer look like i demanded a gross of diet coke
i'd there's that i have some minions the caring the up and down the steps into the set that's the funny thing about this place and no one will ever believe it but we don't have our own we don't have so much as a parking spot writers wow there is the writer so tell me it's not wait but not it's not tough that's my point we're the same as the tree all of us the same i shouldn't say that i mean you're better than i wait i'm yes i've seen the commercial more wiggle room there might be more wiggle room for certain things but when it comes to like it's like it's not like there's no like there's a special green room type of thing or some like you get the good again i said parking spot just because i think maybe you have a parking spot i thought park we find a spot in a compact truck has one here though i know is that
yes i'm stewart danica patrick and his d patrick and it was kind of uh oh yeah danza different places it yeah it's classic so we're talking too much so yeah mount rushmore let's do some mount rushmore ok alright mount rushmore we need your top four teams that maryland has never beaten in football it could be because you love the campus it can be when it for whatever reason i don't think they've ever beaten state ok love core vallas sure you've never beaten played in a bowl game never beat him ok they've never beaten football game was at like the beef 'o' charlton it was like yesterday we have that one if you're free backing cleaner it was the vacuum be for the full the big vacuum the yeah well we're not being we never beaten i wrote i wrote down some teams at texas a and m filled with okay sanam don't think we've ever beaten
is this just underscores no i don't know i mean i don't even say anything no no no only played in that you know that we played him a couple of times i'm just wondering if you guys think that when you accept maryland is a big ten member that's when we beat you no i think you guys have to it's just a couple of the big dogs network we want at minnesota you want it minnesota road the boat just yeah just admit the rockers like you don't see is the same and you don't okay the same is yes i think our record label you elevated a record should be relegated were not maryland's not too far are you going easy are you guys in the leaders of the legends division i forget can keep track of okay we're not in either of those but we i don't think i've name for but i just want to establish yeah we're better than rocker and i'll fight you on this values you seldom see you think there's any way that maryland they're like at some point the big 10s like you know what just don't play football anymore just will keep it for basketball
oh i don't think that no i don't know i don't think that an as a matter of fact i think of dj durkin stays that there will be a time not too or from now when that then not just the minnesota's of the world that you beat me i'm telling you know that is i tell you yeah right so i'll try and do you have a loss your boyhood wonderment so we're play another real quick game what's the game called is actually good good practice for journalists you might want to move it good questions this on your show it's called questions we talked to first class mrs winters first grade class hi mrs winners we had the little ones a little tikes write down questions or requests their precocious first one please don't really know there definitely real
i mean i didn't want to ask this one but the first one was if i eat my boogers can i get on tv see that's real go ahead and pfcus first the first one is how does television work i have no earthly idea i leave here every night convinced that the whole this whole entire places rouged and nothing is actually plugged in i have no idea how anything actually work follow up is santa claus real yes one thousand percent don't lie don't kids santa claus is the spirit of christmas so you say merry christmas not happy holidays merry christmas i say i say merry christmas that's sure so so and rob manning and from that your your exclusive right now happy holidays thank we're an inclusive and
i don't i also read anything so much enough to do that right the next one from this is from timmy it's all right he said you make my daddy gamble so much that he sold my soccer cleats and now i can't play sports i'm sorry to me tell daddy to stay away from the exotics and trust the process just trust process yeah keep keep taking those terrible teams to gamble more more yeah yeah don't don't put them don't parlay you know what ortiz unless you tease favorites because yes i never lose we know what i always say you can't lose much quit and quarters including is for low right quitting is for quitters this one is from a shirt or something we have one from little megan here we do have megan wants to know if you could get away with it would you frame
snyder for running a ponzi scheme and have been locked in jail for the next fifty years and make him so the team to somebody competent i would i would not i would not be collateral sanden seat now see i am a real fan i just fifty years that's the that's the entirety of man's life so i would be i'm not willing to trade i'm not willing to train to and the remainder of a man's life for a return to glory because that seems cruel and unusual also because i'm older than you i remember when they were good you probably don't i remember a little bit yeah see i had a coke and that had superbowl two thousand seven hundred and ninety one whenever there was a coke can and then i drank it like fifteen years after the fact that pretty sick alicia something sweet like this really
voice actor alright last no i wouldn't do that that's cool that's cool last question for a first grader hi scott hi this room libby sure live hi scott my favorite show ever was svp and russillo yeah i thought you to combine sports and humor in an innovative way and and it was very unique do you think you'll ever do a show with ryan again or you too famous now and you've just left him in the dust first of all me unique is a word you can't modify the don't modify you need something you need to choose a six so yeah is it not you can't be very unique libya i just i'm trying to help you try to help you in case you end up with a show some day and that you could ask more plausible question from a kid i'm not too big for so long okay yeah we're still we're still kind of somebody's got too big for me he didn't want to keep retention i didn't want to keep having to be seen as a side kick even though we all knew it was a partnership yeah and i would just
they did some of that some not a lot but just a just a shred of what he and i used to do to guys just being dudes is something that ends up and then and then and then what ends up happening is kind of funny is that this company doesn't really kind of help lift that are elevated but didn't guys that come along and do even better and never us folks those these guys they end up with their own show yeah so the deuce what was it what was the question of this wall art yeah yeah i don't think we're ever going to do a show but here's the thing the good news is that you guys are doing a shell and so you you guys can just you can take it to places where we never got a chance to go through all from little libby here well let me follow up she she said did you ever because for not one time goes on the left at one time although we would occasionally our feet would touch on the air
bad right and sometimes you'd reach over and you'd like you had tried to grab something in it that would be the awkward hand touch yeah i'm but i would always feel the need to be like dude what we just touch hands and we both we both would recoil from that so you know i didn't get them all right scott van pelt thank you that's this we never know is in the law state what that's the thing is that interview with scott van pelt was brought to you by movement watch is it was founded on the belief that style shouldn't break the bank the watchmaker's goal is to change the way consumers think about fashion by offering high quality minimalist products at revolutionary prices with over one million watch is sold to customers in one hundred and sixty plus countries around the world moving how is his solidified itself as the world's fastest growing watch company i've got i think two or three movement watch is i wear sunglasses all the time as well they look great they fit great
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it'll be cake it's back from the kitchen all right let's get to some segments first up we have trouble in paradise but it's actually not paradise it's not just explain the entire premise for this segment yeah i always do last week it was the cleveland browns right right so trouble in paradise is the baby bulls yeah it's it's actually just a bunch of people sitting in a dumpster that's burning so it's very much like the cleveland browns yeah trouble in paradise the bulls in practice the baby horse hobby now the bulls have a special place in my heart these are not the baby bulls these are the bulls that i fucking hate and despise and want them all to go away these aren't your grandparents baby bulls these are your like step grandchildren's baby yeah so bobby portis apparently cheap shotted mirror tich and gave him a concussion and mac maxillary fracture which that's one of those ones where like
could be just you know a little bone got shipped off this cheek but that sounds bad when it's maxillary that's a very very bad injury because we're dumb and it starts with the three letters max so it's making it worse that's the worst injury that you can have exact maximum fracture of your hilarious so the so he's gotta have he's gotta have surgery there and what to do with bobby portis now this is a new to the bolsa everyone is going to assume right away i'm going to talk about you know michael jordan steve kerr getting into fisticuffs but no this starts from the top this is leadership from the top this is god this is john paxson who is famously gotten a choking match with vinny delnegro prob about a decade ago or however long ago it was so choosing matches culture sounds like the worst time ever i don't know what what is choking matches or who wins it's a good culture that the bulls have i am actually excited about this because i've also
i've always said if you're gonna be bad be the worst in and make it such a such a like carnival every single day a circus that people just can't stop watching when you're saying that it's a it's a problem from the top down with paxson are you saying that they failed to put up at like a sign in the locker room this is no punch you know project don't punch your teammate in the face of anyone have surgery and got a max injuries as they want to play even you have to admit for like these bowls the bulls that have to have like name tags on for photo sessions yeah it's a tree in the four situation now is likely to do two planets in the andromeda galaxy or nuking each other yeah and for a second ago that's cool i don't really care i i my favorite part about this is that both of these guys embody the bowls so much in that both bobby port
nikolai meritage they have had stretches where i was convinced they were going to be perennial all stars in the nba anything now they're in a fight an one of 'em is in surgery and the other one probably be spending forever do you think that this is one of the situations that maybe bring the team closer together yes apps whenever you go through that man if you go through adversity that actually makes you know fred hoiberg he's going to pop in an old dvd of animal house and really hit these millennials where they know the funny bone charles oakley probably punch some teammates in practice yeah one last thing the odds that the bulls would have someone punches teammate teammates get in a fight and someone and up with surgery after they
didn't re sign rajon rondo like does have to be off that i was actually gonna say mrs leaders right like what the yeah i'd like to it if there's ever going to be a year that there's gonna be a fist fight is when we had three office it's good to see some of the young guys like stepping up to fill that void yeah the roger left next up we have explained it to ourselves because we don't actually understand anything so as you go it is playing he's now in his third or fourth pass it's in ask that they're at a legal impact a past the legal impact legal appeal pass yes so nfl admits his is i'm reading this now the conclusion nfl admits that the arbitral decision is subject to judicial review such losers can work it just throw extra words in there just to fucking make the sentence as long as the thing if i'm reading it right now if you get enough lawyers in a room to write anything eventually they're going to write something so confusing that
requires more lawyers to sit down and write something to put it yeah and then turn causes more lawyers to sit down lawyers are basically a big pyramid scheme it's so you don't really produce anything they just make work for other lawyers and can you get rich i don't even know what the such review it would be hollow however if the discipline such as suspension could be imposed after see that you know you know what i mean you're just showing unfucking here just like the lawyers just once you start bringing latin to the equation here just spiking the foot purchased fuqing saying words that i've yeah you're right twenty five percent of being a lawyer is just right so many words that everyone just has this exact reaction where like i don't want to read this book here's now no nose in the lawyers you guess what i'll read it 'cause i get paid to do that and then i'll write five hundred dollars i'll write something about it that's been another lawyer will have to read interpret for that we know in america should do we miss woodshed what should you see just solve our arguments with any lawyers yeah every city in america should have instead of city hall just a wood shed where two people who did
we can go out and punch each other until one person is correct i like that i like that a tool yeah doing this i think i just invented the door yeah right whatever susie galliot he's going to court case in new york this is the final step you go to new york for the final step it feels like and then i'm waiting long goes in the foot that's a fairy tale i'm waiting for the day that an nfl appeals case goes the supreme court because it's going to happen yeah it could have happened with brady which i i would have been there to see like what certain people like hank hank got arrested for tom brady i would love to see you and your patriots fans like tail gating the supreme court yeah what an awesome sister thrown beers around darting nerdy and starting a imagine grok sitting in the supreme court martin roger goodell well please rise and he stands up search fist pumping yeah he's like you were in the club
now and then just start six thousand nine hundred and sixty nine ruth bader ginsburg that would be awesome can you imagine that visual she's like five she's like four hundred and eleven a hearn grok sixty nining wow put that in your brain right there alright so we next up have mike greenberg's dumb rules the easily baseball playoffs are occurring right now i don't wanna talk about it but what's going on with those no no we talked to begin as you're in good shape and function no now which i will be a show i will be playoff games are lasting longer than ever sell probably losing the kids we deal i greenberg's dumb rules to fix us maybe they should start before midnight yeah says was tough suggestion number two is allow steroids for the pictures because there is a problem with the slow game right celeb they can throw the ball faster yes get up to like hundred six or seven miles an hour i like that so you're saving a good like two seconds off the game each team should be allowed to choose one in forgetting this that's one out o
i like that a lot i am looking forward to seeing how dusty baker screws that one up yeah or sending every time you get out of the way how 'bout you can like dodgeball you can throw it at the runner that would probably help yeah the beer act actually debbie hillary said i will be losing pay head hunting yeah we'll poison mounted probably make it faster yep it's reports you put little treadmills on the basepaths like in mario kart when you drive of the arrows and makes you go faster it would always say about us or more runs knows which would be playing a learner see your your loot you're not following here when they run around the bases they go faster on the basis of speeds up the game but then the keep keeps going runs into the game goes longer i don't but that's the end of rock hill runs yeah the you basically just described like of seventeen hour cricket match yeah ok to go back to the drawing board on my treadmill idea right last with my creamer by the way it works here's what you do just turn the bass passing the quicksand just
they now turn it down now we're cut so people die this is the most mike greenberg tree by the way i saw this when i was looking up for my creamers dumb roles humiliation new car our and for the life of me i can't figure out how to turn the seat peter off it's not cold out i'm a puddle of sweat that's good mike that's that's that's mostly written that's mike being relatable men know anybody that new really nice car and you're just sweating these leather seats are too hot damn anyone else tickle as anybody else there had the problem with swap asking my leather seat in your audi five hundred thousand yeah hey people in the back you ever see you ever sit in your new lane range rover that's two hundred and fifty thousand dollars and you can't get that heat warmer off you know what i'm saying yeah those are stated that was my kreymborg doing stand up on his car you ever accidentally swallowing your diamond fillings the worst you ever try people in one of those things out alright mike greenberg
that that might be a new bed we have a protective shield these are down seven one slash two percent so well let's just get this highway fake news 'cause we watch more than ever which we said the times also i just want to notice that it just today felt like fall so that's probably it you can't watch you can't fully embrace football what it's ninety degrees it's tough to pull a ten hour day of college football when you're sweating i'm not really that tough yeah but for most more yes sir yeah yeah football we're it we're in peak physical football guy shape yeah but for a lot of people they need a break they would you know want to go like watch a movie or stay in air conditioner something lame like that but yeah i think so i did the math on it it's about one point two million fewer people watching as far as because that's like the size of an american city like a large american city we haven't had any new cities in awhile in america why don't we just why don't we claim the trash heap out in the pacific ocean and just put it
two people on their new city give them a team yeah expand after we lightened plastic water bottle why don't we just do what we did with the b b t and just have it be the dogs count for the nielsen rating that's a good point yeah we she's actually new things so everyone when you watch personal van talk next week make sure you treat us pictures of your dog watching that counts it does not always arrivals yeah i balls are about love is love yeah this is fake news people are watching and fell so much then get the out i've talk to anybody that's not watch i have not i've done it i've done a derren revell twitter pull in my mind and a hundred per seat hundred percent people that i know which is just pft hank and liam all watch a lot of football hey everybody out there in america right now if you stopped watching football say yes i didn't hear anything i didn't hear recorded last night so if you're saying yes right now tomorrow i didn't hear it's too late so if you're going to count all you people who are listening right now if you watch the same amount of football or more football stop
i delete it and then re download it okay thank you we have finally because it's wednesday we have guys on chicks guys are born why is it that you all innately prot possessed the lack of sing a kitchen timer when cooking frozen pizza all i bought casserole look only enough chicken wings okay these are little chart but god damn it i'm not taking the one point five seconds at that time do you all just in the u connected with engine ma'am like some sort of sundial yeah a notice of this with every boyfriend i've had and my father does the same thing okay i didn't know this was a thing i notice is very much thing because what she's describing i do all the time it's when you put the a pizza in the oven and you just to set a timer and in like fifteen minutes like i yeah that's been in for about like ten minutes or whatever and then you bring your pizza we have a three every time is there are two there are two times that guys have in our heads right there's now and there's later oh wait no you forgot one beer thirty
well then there's then there's darty hours starting that there's a separation between darty and nardin four hundred and twenty yeah so there's there's a bunch of stuff you time but when it comes to cooking i've got now and then i've got later hungry now hungry lady and i'm like i'm hungry now so i put this in then i'll get it out later and then i go and it's four hundred and twenty and i forget about later see this is the difference between someone who's moderately good shape you and someone who is let themselves go me i don't have hungry now hungry later i have i could always eat that oh yeah yeah you never know how can i get a chance to get a full course meal ten minutes ago and you're like hey wanna course meal for it's fucking late
five course meal course before course course manner as for a course meal five minutes ago and used like slide slowly saddam's he's a pizza under my nose mike yeah i can always eat also here's the thing we don't have time to kill minutes in our day no we did we by smells i think that she was on the right track when she said like the cave man yeah since yeah that's me i live my life like a caveman except the caveman with the couch who watch television all day looks at a phone basically is much smarter sup pmt a recent was having sex with my boyfriend and i know most guys like it when you call him daddy so it down to this my boyfriend applied by calling me monsoons this is way weird and daddy right should i confront her about this or just break up with an ace no because when you think about it all data the word daddy and mommy just mean that you've had sex they're like an honor when you get knighted and now you shall arise as sir once you have sex and you procreate your names daddy and mommy so actually it's technically the
sexiest thing you can say i never i never understood like sex talk like that you hot right now what do you do motto this feel good yeah it's kind of it in yet it's like that's the extent of what i got is it in yet are you sure a little bit weight maybe it's just a positioning add sinks too much let me now they all forget it all sort of pizza i'm hungry i could always eat sort of pizza and binge watch netflix for the next twenty hours ok yeah i think something then why do i crave
chocolate my period i can never get enough of it when it's that time can you help me understand why this happens to me thanks i'll answer this it's it has to do with the we were the things if they go through your body that fight the free radicals in tips no though like the things your blood that like a tax where what sells its accidents so has has actions you know what two things are really high in antioxidants chocolate yeah and red wine who and also human blood to but when you lose some of the blood your body is like oh i need to i need to re up so your options are one that's why you always want drink wine when you want to get drunk and that's why you always create chocolate so i just all i learned from that is the time i've been on my period in my entire life ok ok i'm in college and assegai met on homecoming weekend to a date night turns out he's twenty six is is it weird that he's coming
so what do you think his thoughts are slash friends thoughts wait he probably didn't tell us he's probably lying to his friends about how old you are you be my guess twenty six come on let's not age shame like you beat six thirty two fellas we just a random number it's it's half your age times to half your age minus two after age times to his that's acceptable limits that they don't need anyone except people were half your age times too yeah hey pm's the boys so how do i discreetly poop it work even though chicks definitely no proofs ok now it's fake yeah fake news again obviously not invite check yeah i don't know how what are you who you hiding from you just hear check poop in a bag and then you throw it out the window right yeah no you know what you do is you poop in your sock and then you put it in
trash can and then you put a bunch and then you squirt some soap and then you put actually i should stop because i put in the sink so people probably going to think i do this last one hey pmt slash van talk is panties so especially hank so that's that's only just found cheat on these i mean this person's literate so match made in i recently just found out through my boyfriend's on my arm illiterate i recently just found out through my boyfriend's internet history that he has been looking at porn so i got curious and clicked on one of the videos he watched however however when i clicked on it a list of videos that were all the way on the 51st page i feel like which is somewhat concerning can you please tell me what this means i saw this on twitter today we mean play you know somebody took a screen grab of saying like i wish had the patience of whoever tweeted
that they were on like the 51st page of pornhub your boyfriend's meme yeah okay so i mean so we got me you're dating a famous guy sometimes it's called research sometimes you've got to dig deep is internet fame we you got you got meme tank member we use the gym most member that member when our ordering the search just to up and not make it up and that one guy with us with with the boat house the and suck shut up to that one guy though who's still working still running that whole pizza hut pizza all time jimbo alright that's our show will see so on friday i think we have dan haren
and we also have michael rappaport wall who's going to be in studio promoting his new book we're going to talk with him who and you might make fun of him you might get fun we love michael rap on pmt death that's where his home is you might also tunein for suicidal big cat and he might make an appearance on friday so that if it's a sweep all have a day on the data including do have a day to be on my period and eat chocolate impending doom big cat is just as bad it's panic button love you guys
i mean
Transcript generated on 2019-11-16.