« Phil in the Blanks

Efficiency For 2022: Toxic Personalities in the Real World

2021-12-28 | 🔗

The new year is just around the corner. Are you ready to set new boundaries, stop reacting to others’ toxic behavior, become more efficient, and take back control of your life? In the final installment of “Toxic Personalities in the Real World,” Dr. Phil asks listeners, “Wouldn't you rather be healthy alone than in a toxic, sick, pathological damaging relationship with somebody else?” Tackle 2022 with renewed hope and strategies that work. Then, stay tuned for all-new episodes in January! http://drphilintheblanks.com/

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
It all begins and ends in your mind and what you give power too, has power over you all feeling He does is make you a really crummy partner, What is it I'm talking about I'm talking about this? Well, hello, everyone and welcome to the last: when the blanks of twenty twenty one, this maybe the most important conversation we have had all year. That's it statements of buttons and pressure or myself that we ve got to pay off here now I'm not going to waste any time reviewing what we ve been talking about in the series on toxic person, nowadays in the real world, because we ve been talking about those and the
This is the last time we're gonna talk this year. I won spend it preparing for what recommending you do as a strategy for attacking next year. A big one for New year's resolutions, their fun There's nothing wrong with that. Do for fun, but eighty percent, the people never make it to the second week of February, before the new year's resolutions go out, the window that not what I want to do, because what I'm gonna ask you to do. I want you to be doing in May June August However, I wanted to stick and That means lifestyle change. It doesn't mean. That, you make some emotionally driven promised you yourself because look well. Hours a myth,
make some commitment to yourself. It is based on willpower, cause you're, all fired up, you're, all emotional and It's a new year and I'm gonna get out there and I'm gonna do it. Anybody You do it when you're all fired up. The question is: Can you do it when you're not all fired up and how you do that when you now fired up, will you do it because you have your world programme to support you, To carry you along well, here's what I want to do list is Jim, and I want to tell you I want to talk about your thinking. I want to talk better relationships. I want to talk bout. Your habits and I want to talk bout. You be who you are and doing it on purpose? Think about that, because when we get to it, it's gonna be a big deal. I want you to be you on purpose, not
you re actively being who you are on purpose. You choose to be who you are you choose to be? How you are you too? the personality, you exhibit you choose the behaviors, you show. choose the attitude you have you dont ray to the world you're, not in a bad mood, because world was irritating. You choose your mood where the world's irritating or whether it's not I want you, be who you are on purpose. Let's think about that. Last week we talked about you need to decide who you are. You remember, we said in borderline personality. You sometimes hear these people this with their head in her hand, saying I don't even know who I am anymore. This is the antithesis of that. This is exactly the opposite. They sit there.
They are even know who I am anymore. I want you saying, I know exactly who I am and here's where it starts. Let's talk about you thinking Now I told you Anna tease At the end of our. Conversation last week that. I gotta tell you something this week that could improve your efficiency as much as forty percent. You're gonna hear what I'm get right saying: go. No, that's not true. And I'm want to tell you why you're going to say that before you say it, you're gonna say it because it does it have what we call face. Validity, and let me tell you what I mean by face validity.
something lacks face validity. If, when you look at it, it's not fancy, and why area makes sense. Fanny girl. Ok, I could see how that would work and one or two Biggest things in the field of psychology that has one of the most profound effects on your overall health and well being mentally, emotionally and physically is relaxation. Relaxation learning how to really relax. And you know why people don't do it more is because doesn't have face validity. They said no, no, no, no, no doc. I need something fancier than that come in here and go through a session with you and pay you three hundred bucks or whatever it is you charge for. you tell me, I need to relax,
what the hell. I do therefore got here. Gimme some real give us therapy. You'll. Tell me some fancy don't tell me, I need to relax him. A mother told me I need to relax, it doesn't have Face validity, so people throw it out, but the fact of the matter is what I talk about relaxation I'm talking about dissipating, muscular tension at a level. You ve never done it before clearing your mine disk, Painting all attention throughout your body, getting to a meditative state there you don't even know exist annually is not easy to do and it takes skill to get there, but it doesn't have faced validity, so most people poohpooh it. And what I'm gettin ready to tell you is the same way. It doesn't have faced validity. So
real, really easy to say. Oh no, so what I'm talking about I'm talking about this. If you we'll discipline yourself to stop multitasking. You can increase your cognitive and mental with, You should see as much as forty percent because research has shown us time and time and time again year after year after year after year, with population after population at different age, The different age group that multi tat skin, doesn't work and the, There are less than two and a half percent of the people in the world who can successfully multitask and let me just tell you you need to assume you ain't one of those two point. Five percent. because I'm willing to bet all. I can gather that you're, not those who
we call in the profession, supertankers and air very uncommon they a unique cognitive characteristics, their belief really cognitive, Lee, Agile, the able to, activate one part of their brain and in another very very quickly and get up to speed very very quickly in that part of their brain, because different task use different parts of the brain. You need to assume that ain't. You believe me. And I'm betting. It's not you! So you thank you Can keep a lot of balls in the air you're wrong. You are not efficient way, You do that and you can increase your efficiency. If you I'll do one thing at a time, get it done and move on, and that means turn off the television stop doing something else, while you're doing something else, get one
sing done at a time and move to the next thing you will be supplied, eyes how much extra time you have now. Let me tell you: people may us when they think they're doing what. I just said that people. Tell me: ok, doc, I listen to you. I quit multi ask turned off the stereo turned off the television. I got two kids out, the Roma stop multitasking. Now you didn't you stopped External distractions, but you didn't unclutter your mind you kept thinking about. five different things at one time. You were running a track in your mind. You were thinking about one thing, while you were working on something else, you just. Got rid of the external distractions, he's just like
While thanking relaxation is easy, you think multitasking stopping. It is easy. It's not! You have to develop the skills of concentration, shutting out the noise on the inside Clattering, your brain, all begins and ends in your mind, and what you give power too, has power over you. What you give power too,. has power over you. And how do you give power to something you pay attention to it? You Run in your mind, let me give you an example. I have talked to so many women, are struggling with eating disorders and see and Bolivia, and
trace it back. To when they were in middle school in her walking through the lunchroom and some Bali says: hey Fatty. Does some kind, a body shaming with them that Sticks in their mind And the boy might have said it wants or may be twice, but Then they take over for the bully and they repeat it. Ten thousand times. is just running in their head. I'll talk to you about guilt, grudges, NGO, two's feeling guilty. You may think that feeling guilty about
something is a redeeming quality. All feeling guilty does is make you a really crummy partner. You may think. Well, I been a very good husband and I just feel terrible about well, if you really feel terrible about it, then don't sit around moping as a guilty husband for give yourself a pie. Poligized and give off your lazy but and go be a good partner guilt like rocking chair with something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere all Just make you poor company so You feel guilty so you're gonna punish your partner by being poor company that doesn't do anything except punish your partner. Worse, grudges
somebody's wronged you in some way, so you carry a grudge carrying grudges like letting somebody live in your brain rip, free. they take up space in your brain. They wrong do in some way so now, you're gonna! Let him move into your head and occupied for the rest of your life or are you kidding me, then these oh two's! We all have certain things that when we get down on ourselves, we go to. These are what I call the go. Two's we just start beating ourselves. doubting ourselves, judging ourselves, putting ourselves down the need to decide what those things are when you're really big yourself up? What is it you say the most right those things down
and when you hear yourself do you need to put up to stop sign and say woe he does not gonna. Do this anymore, those the things you gotta got to get rid of. If you really want to stop multitasking, it is just turning off the television or taken you're, buds out, so you're not listening to music, while you're trying to read a book. Let's not just that, it comes from the inside out too, so you ve got to get mine, clutter, cleaned up, go look in your garage, you ve got one these grudges where you open the door and you can't even get in here. Mine, like that.
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three months evinced in ink when you choose HP, class conditions, apply, visit, hp, dot, com, slash smart for details, How does it feel if you ever clean that garage are, you can now all a car in there. You can see the floor is organised. It's clean. You got all of that junk. How does it feel when you org Eyes a chaotic room: does it feel Fred an revitalize, you go wow, it's like painting black wall wider, a white while black you can really see the progress. any go. Look. I did that to say why? You clean up. A messy Rome were we to garden, is just been overcome with wage when you get all cleaned out, is all fresh dirt, your wow. There was. Such a man ass before and look out needed is now thinking.
Your mind that way get all the clutter out of your mind like empty one ear give all! Without an out of your mind, empty it out, give yourself permission, bully talks, a hundred and twenty words minute. You think, twelve to fourteen hundred words a minute, so they might say at once, and you repeated tat acts. They talk, rewards minute. You think ten times as fast thinking many times. You could repeat that in a day a month a year. It becomes automatic level We call automatic thoughts, you don't and articulate every word anymore. You ve congested and collapsed. It so much that
just automatic, cyst instantaneous you ve got to stop that. For every thought you have there's a physiological coral, it goes with it. Depressed people have Different physiology than people that are depressed anxious people have a different physiology than people that are anxious, so use that word, think do anything about. Yes, you do when you think you're doing something about it. Your body is changing. How do you say People get ulcers using com, people get answers, works. There's physiological elements it go with every thought you have so you ve got to uncluttered you're mine and that's I said I warned you to show up today on the twenty eight with a pin in Japan. I want you to write down. You ve got
make a list, that's how you get things out of your head. You get them out of your head. If you put them on a piece of paper, you put them on the list, then you said okay. I don't need to remember him, because I wrote him down right here and I can fold it up and put it in the drawer I can put in my pocket. I can put it in the drawer I don't need to remember it because I have it written down. I don't they to keep goin over. In my mind, I have it on a list. And when I resolved. I can cross it off the list. If you wake up in the middle and not you think about it, put it on your list. get it out of your head by putting it on the list. It does no good just think about it. Put it on the list. You need to have a shit list of all the crap in your head. To put it on, List and when you put it on the list, you get it out of your head, give yourself permission and one
the things that you may need to do if you are having trouble achieving what I'm asking you to do is designate A time during the day where you're gonna say about all this clutter in your head. But ok, I pick the kids. school at four hundred and thirty or three hundred and thirty or I get off work at the bank at five, I'm going to close my office door and spin from five to five. Thirty, I'm gonna. voted to molest, I'm gonna say that time worryin about everything that cluttering up my mind. If that helps you to death, neither time that I'm going to think about. During that time, but no other time, that's my desert It is time to think about worry about fret about obsess about ruminate, about whatever you want to call it. If you need. Designated time to do that and do it, but outside of that time you do not
met yourself to go down a rabbit. All you have to uncluttered your mind. We are not going to get efficient. I said you can improve your efficiency, forty percent, if you stop Multitasking- more than turned off the tv you ve got to get. This out of here. This is like elevator music, you dont really hear it? Until I say: ok, less, listen to you one of the things that is done with this, there's something called Dialectical: behaviour therapy one the things they do is they try to get people to listen to their internal dialogue and, to the extent its negative self defeating they try to get them to change their, but they do one of the other things and doktor Lenihan came up with this.
And I was so impressed with what she did here for one the thing she did was to increase the clients, distress, tolerance, look. Everything's, not gonna, get resolved in your life. You may have a sister, that is just a troublemaker and that may not get any better. So we want to increase your ability to tolerate certain things where they dont trigger. You were increase your distress, tolerance. So putting all these things on the list doesn't mean they're going to all be resolved. Just beans are out of your head, where you don't ruminate about that means just over and over and over thinking about the.
So number one we want to uncluttered your mind. You can't stop multitasking and get this increased cognitive. Mental efficiency. Bless you uncluttered your mind, so late unplug the mind, the major smelting, but what is it I think about? What is it that haunts me? What do I go over and over over my head, I'm gonna write it down. It gives you some objectivity from it and as a If you need to designate time designated time, but let's clean up your mind and dont, get caught in this gale tramp dont get caught carrion grudges and don't get caught with the go two's just doing what you always do, because it's what you ve always done. Don't do that you can't.
Change. What you don't acknowledge always put this on myself. Well, then, stop doing that acknowledge it and change it now relationships as ever. Gonna talk about your thinking and we're gonna talk about your relationships. I've been. Talking to you about boundaries right social circle, cleanup, here's, a good rule, stop needing people that don't need you. He knows he paused for a minute, because I wanted to thank you. Stop
aiding people that don't need you? If you ve got people in your life that they just don't pay attention to you? They dont value you they don't treat you with dignity and respect. Then you need to get over those people. and you said well, got to that's easy to say. It's not easy to do. I didn't say it was easy to do said. It needs doing stuff. eating people that dont need. You know I tell people, stop chasing the wrong one, because the right, when won't run, I grew up with three sisters, and I would. I was next to the youngest, and even when I was twelve years old, I would see my elder sisters. Were they
chasing after some guy and I would say, look. that's not who you want. How do you know that you're twelve said because He was the right one. He wouldn't be running away from you. the right, when won't run, Jason home is the right one. They resonate with you. They click with you have chemistry whether it's a friend or a lover. It doesn't matter people that care about you that value. You love you. They won't run from you. They will. Drawn to you, you will bond, you will share things together. So tat up the social circle Urien. If you got toxic people attic clean it up.
I'd rather be healthy alone and sick with somebody else? Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you rather be healthy alone, then, in a toxic, sick, pathological, damaging relationship with somebody else I would like me: ok, I don't want to be alone, but if I'm going to do it, I'm not a bad person. Do it with decide that about yourself. Fish, you won't be alone. There are people in this world for everybody, and I want you to become a disservice. sharper twenty twenty two. When it comes to relationships, you need to have some discernment, I'm trying to give you some straight up rules here.
And here's one of the rules have faith in yourself. and then trust in those who earn it have faith in yourself. That's who you can try Issue, that's who you can go with this paste on face everybody else. They need to learn it. I was raised up in a Baptist church and the Bible belt, and we were talk. You give people the benefit of the doubt That's insane, certainly in this day and time of the transient society, but we don't really know people here what I roughly whortleberry transient society, you knew it Body in the neighbourhood of anybody that wasn't supposed to be
are they stuck out like a sore thumb, because we were very transient. We went to school two blocks away, nobody moved everybody was there. So, like sums ranger stranger danger showed up. You do go wrong here. Even then, it didn't make sense, give people benefit of the doubt. Why would you do that and you think and will not feel it's awful harsh? No, it's not you should judge them is bad either about say in their guilty till proven innocent up saying what you should do is gather information gap other data until you have enough to make an informed decision, you dont, give somebody the benefit of the doubt. You don't let them in your life. You don't loan them.
Funny you don't do all of these things. Just because it's a nice thing to do or you kidding me, you need to gather enough data until you can make an informed decision, see him in enough difference. Patients in circumstances try a little something and see how it works and if they show themselves to be trustworthy at that level,.
Then go to the next level. Eighty ceases raise your hand if you're not here, likes appalling abbot elementary. The best new network showed the season. Tb guy gives it in a plus around one hundred percent, says: Ratan: tomatoes. Ok, everyone! They stand for the pleasure of meeting except for Andrew who is taking a principle, fan national habit elements since the nineteenth century, one abc stream. For the past ten years, contact has been having students get ready. We connected five million students from low income families to low cost high speed internet, where working with both nonprofit partners, Anthony leaders to create over one thousand wifi connected lives zones in community centres nationwide. And now,
are committing one billion dollars to reach fifty million people with the connectivity, skills of training and the resources they need to succeed in a digital world, learn more Comcast, dot contact education applied to this work of some friends or turkish rooms. And I trust them- is Tennis Rand's, a hundred percent- and what does that mean? It means, if I make a day play tennis with em? I expect them entrusted will show up a hundred percent tat. They will not stand me up. They will not be an hour late when they get there. They won't be adjourned, Can argue over line calls in power? of their lose inner slam. Balls around or whatever they'll be pleasant, will laugh and compete and have a good time. I trust that that's what will happen, but that doesn't mean I take them home,
it doesn't mean I go into business with them, it doesn't mean I confide in them family secrets. I trust. I'm a hundred percent at the level of the tennis friend. It doesn't mean that they can't be more than that. They just start yet. And maybe they will be, maybe they won't and they probably trust me. The same way like you know, he's a good dentistry and he shows up Every time Eads Pleasant, doesn't she doesn't argue line called see place hard every time and we laugh and have a good time, and then we get our cars leave. That doesn't mean that they can make a decision. About my overall morality here. My politics serve. How would be as a business partner- that's not relevant if they were going to take
the next level, they would need to gain more formation. Do that have friends at a certain level and then, if they ratchet up, you need more information. Dont give people, the benefit of the doubt, Some people are loyal to you. and some people are loyal to their need. For you. And when the need changes, soldiers, loyalty. like they may need you for some work related reason and then, if they change jobs, you're no longer relevant later Here they were loyal to their need for you not to you, pay attention to people's motive.
Why are they doing what they're doing pay attention to whether people seem to be entitled or, if their accountable? You want people in your circle who own what they do? They don't sit around asking what you can do for them or what the world can do for them. Decide who you wanna populate your space will have the courage to cut ties. You I said.
Do you really judges set boundaries? That's why I was talking about that because now, as we go into twenty twenty two, I want you to go into it saying you know what I've kind of in a passenger in my life, people that are in my life or in my life cause they destroy their there there today as they were there. Yesterday I wouldn't choose to put him in my life. They were just there. So since we were there, they just kind of stayed there. No, no we're not going to be that way anymore. We're not going to have people there, just because they're going to be there today, just because they were there yesterday and they were there so cuz. They were there day before they're going to be there today, because you choose for them to be there. You're going to be you on purpose and part of that means you're going to choose your friends on purpose, you're, going to choose your relationships, a vegetable
Jews, my mother, I can't use my that no, but you can choose what relationship you have with them. You can choose how much of a party your life they are, and here this real, clear,
You don't have to react every time you can at this doesn't sound like a big one, but this is a big when you don't have to react every time you have a justifiable reason to be offended just because you can be offended. Does it mean you must be offended? And, oh, my god, are we a bunch of offended people in this day and time sums offended everybody. You don't have to be offended because you can be it's ok to let somethin slide pick your battles pick your battles.
You're in the last podcast I was talking about the paralegal, and I said: let me tell you something about this girl now some people would get offended that I referred to her as a girl and of a woman. Why anything by that. just a newer. I worked with for twenty years when I first met her. She was eighteen, she was girl. I was twenty years older than her. Just remember a fixture on that level- and nobody said anything about nobody got offended about that, but some people would get offended about what you called her a girl she's, a woman. I know she's, a woman is a girl in a manner and I can fix it.
My mind and of us are today I'd say: hey girl, just our relationship, you don't have to get offended every time you can find a hook to get offended pick your battles and it's ok to let something slide. You dont have to be twenty five, seven warrior you just don't have to be, you can be and of its important to use. Then. Ok, that's the battle you pick but understand. Every time, Your sister, your brother, you mother, you Fran. They know where you buttons are in return. I push one of em Thanksgiving, Easter dinner is not the time to solve your family problems. He should let it slide is important.
Now that need solving their ill, still be important next Wednesday, you Don't need to solve at Easter Sunday at dinner. If it's really important, it will be important Wednesday and you can call them and resolve it. Then it doesn't have to be resolved just because she pokes you at Easter dinner. This don't take the bay Be in control of yourself, you don't have to react. Every time you get poked drink control yourself. You say a thought. Thank you were no. Thank you. It's so nice. When you are in control, I have laughed with people that have jerk me around. So bad. You wouldn't believe it.
And they think I dont know if he cuz I'll still their laugh with them, because that's battle. I want a pic when I pick the battle. I will pick the battle. I will pick the battlefield. I will pick the battle time and I will pick the battle weapons I'm not going to. Let them choose all of that by poking me at a party. We may have this battle, but when we do, I will pick it up. I will pick the time the place, the rules, the weapons.
I will do all that tickets, they don't get to pick all of that and they may stand there and think he has no idea what I've done and that's just fine, like I said, keep your cards close to the vest they may think of why I pulled one over on him. do they have it in what it comes time for them to know? They'll know, but it's not here at my friends wedding. That's not the time to do this. We will deal with this another time, because I have enough control that I can pick another day another time, because somebody else agenda is more important than my own and I have enough control to do that and so
You you just haven't necessarily put that on your to do list. So that's what I mean when I say clean up your social circle and you ve got people that may say but, as you and like I said, you call me some bitch, but you gotta long distance are be in my inner circle. If you don't have my best interests at heart, you'll stand over there across the street and travel watch that me, but you not going to hit me in the head with one standing behind me. If I know that's who you are you're going over, there. If you don't, I will, but I'm not gonna have people it myself, circle that organ stab in the back, and neither should you now we talked about clean.
If your habits, the main one, is this multitasking? What other habits do you need to put on your? What do you do? That's not in your best interests, make a list check. It twice. And ask yourself why you're doing this? What's your pay off you dont do things and pattern. If you don't get a payoff, so won't you and if I, what is it you do, that is not in your best interests that you don't want to do any more and that's very employ And for you to identify, because I really want you- To resolve that you are going to be you on purpose. That's what I said at the top of this conversation.
Remember I started our conversation last time was saying: decide who you are. What's your image, what does things it defined yourself images the right to have boundaries? Remember that That's what I mean when I say that you need to be you on purpose. You need to be you on purpose. You need to decide. This is who I am I choose it I own it. I purposely execute this. I make no excuses for. This is the horse, I'm writing will evolve. A better horse tomorrow than it was today, of course, we're all somebody different today.
and we were yesterday, but that doesn't mean at the core. You don't know who you are. I know who I am I accept, who I am. I start in my own life Ill Mark TWAIN. Said it really. Well, he said the two most employee. Days of your life for the day you were born and the day you find out. Why isn't that profound? The two most impact days of your life are the day you were born and day. You find out. Why that's what I mean when I say be you on purpose. Find out, why figure it out claim it it? That's what I mean when I said be uni being essential, be relevant, don't just be.
Be unique matter where you are dont use, be furniture become meaningful, be in this world in such a way that if you weren't there it would matter. I do not want to be in this world in such a way that it, I didn't show up. Nobody would miss me. I don't know set to pay my existence in this world. Wars like I'll show up for radiation, smuggles ways where's that the rapporteur my days added new and I want wait, a minute, wait a minute! I'm gone! Oh, look for me right now: if our don't show, don't you. don't you ought to be we're like a week ago? We can.
Go without he'll. Be yours like I want to be the pilot on the plane, here by gets Azerbaijan all image pilots. A week ago I wanted a sick joke to this mission work. where I will be on the role of the pilot, like you can't go with that, Hold on weaker, leave without me. Central figure Self out, a role be who you are or purpose Mark TWAIN was right. There You boys pretty important he would be here and the other day is that you find out. Why why you were born now remember I said that the secret to success is to those things that other people don't know.
It is a matter of its as apparent does matter of its at work. Wherever you are, you need to be essential. I talk to you last week. about knowing who you are known? What currency is and stretching yourself and that means getting out your comfort zone. That doesn't mean
that is going to always be a success. Only journey. It's not I'm not telling you that when you stretch yourself, you're not going to fall and skin unis, but you're not going to do a face plant, but I'm going to read you a quote from Theodore. Roosevelt you've heard it before you probably just haven't thought about it for a long time. So I'm not read you something. You haven't read before, but I want us to focus on it. Listen, You ve heard it. It is not the critic who counts, not the man who pointed out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood who strives valiantly, who airs, who
Comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without air and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds? Who knows great enthusiasms the great divide, Sean's, who spends himself in a worthy cause who, The best knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement and who, at worst, if he fails at least fails, while daring greatly so that his play shall never be with those cold and timid souls. who never no victory nor defeat. It's not the critical counts.
Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. It's not that person sit back and throws rocks that counts, The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena whose face is marred by destined, sweat and blood. That's where the credit belongs. The man who is in the arena. and by man here he means human, not male or female, Male, he means human who face is marred by blood in sweat and dust whose, rise valiantly who comes up short. Who does actually strive to do the deeds, the one
it's in there and mixed up who in the ear, nose high achievement or if he fails at least he fails wild daring, greatly he's not talking about somebody sit on the sidelines, he's not talking about somebody in their comfort zone. He's talking about somebody that put it on the line and reached for the next level and he's not talk about gladiators here. This is metaphor right. The arena he's talking about his life. The uranium talking about is your life. Are you daring greatly? Are you reaching for that next level? Are you modeling for years?
children, what it means to live a life with passion, because I want to tell you if you are not living was passion, you need to find some. In this life that your passionate about, if your children don't have passion, you need to help them find something That their passionate about, and do that you need to put down those burden, set your carrying You need to unburden yourself. You need to give yourself permission to give yourself a break
carry these burdens. Long enough, give yourself permission. To forgive yourself and put those burdens down, I'm quoting people today for some reason. your Einstein said it really well, he said we can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking. We used when we created them. That's why I started this by saying. I want you to change your thinking. We can't solve problems,
by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. You gotta think differently. You got to change the way you approach this world and that's what I'm asking you to do and I am asking you To think about this, based on how to change what you want verse, being a slave to an agenda, don't be and reactive mode, In twenty twenty two, what I want you to do is focused on what you want. Don't get up and react to the world where you get up and do Monday what you did last Monday, just because it's what you did last Monday, is it? What do you want to do, and it is
What you want to do, then start a process of change to get more you want to do that? I understand if your work in his account and you dont, like that, you kid quit tomorrow and start fly Fraid out of Africa or something I get, that I'm not trying get you to be some kind of exotic dreamer, but I told you This is not, Dress rehearsal. You know what the middle word of life is. Yes,. The middle word in life is, if l, I e, if.
You don't wanna be on your death bed, saying what, if I had done this, what if I had done that you want to answer that question. So I want to stimulate you're thinking here with a few questions. Then you may think these are kind of silly, but bear with me. Hypothetical question number one: if you, a hundred million dollars to Morrow morning. What would you do different.
if you woke up tomorrow and you had a hundred million dollars, what would you do different. If you woke up tomorrow, and you were king or queen and forest here, in charge. It would be your top three priorities. If you could arrange one thing, that happened last year. What would it be. Just one thing: vigorous one thing: and in your life last year, your personal life, and what about the world
if you can raise one thing in your life that happened last year. What would it be. If you could ensure that one thing was going to happen. In this new year. That's arts in three days. What would that be. So those are four questions I want you to think about. It a hundred million dollars. What would you do instead viewer, king or queen of the forest? would be your top three priorities if you could arrange one thing in your life from last year. What would it be if you could ensure one thing, was gonna happen in this coming year. What would it be that will get you.
Started on the path. The main thing I want you to do on top of everything else. I've talked about here, and what about talked about said you need to clean up you thinkin You need to get that noise out of your head. You need. clean up your social circle, get rid of those toxic people. You need to clean up your habits, those things that are not working for you. I've said Johnny to be you on purpose,. No, you currency, no What you want, so important that you know what you want it would be so horrible,
You spent your whole life trying to become the best accounting in the world only to find out. That's not what you wanted, that what you wanted to be was a painter or a welder or a farmer, but instead you became the best account in the world. Or you became the best farmer when you want to be the best account. You need to make sure you're chase doing the right thing. The thing I want to put on top of all of it is find your passion. Fine thing makes you wanna get up. the warning that makes you excited about being alive. What is
that thing. That makes you want sleep fast cuz. You want to get up and get back out there find that passion, and if you have it, then damn you're so fortunate, and if you don't that needs to be your quest, what is it you're passionate about and if your vacation then great event? You're avocation application. That's ok to live, Passion is your job, your double lucky? If that's what you were to have the money to do when you not workin, then that's ok do But know what it is it there's nothing in this life that excite you not an it your passion about, and you need to find something. There's got to be something in this life, did you get excited about? Don't let
Another months ago, by that you don't know what at passion is. well. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Really enjoyed, spend in his time with you guys in the series it's been so enlightening to me. I've had fun preparing it. I've had fun delivering it. I've had a great time reading your comments and questions, and I want you to listen to this conversation at least twice and take notes on this done. type it out, I think, is good right that, because it puts you in production mode, where you write things out and This with at least one other person that you care about, but they got to started, the beginning, or a lot of little fall on deaf ears. You ve had a great holiday hope here
great new year's. I want you to be safe and take care of yourself. You gonna be in a big group you don't know where people have been you might want to wear masks mask if you're with family or friends, and you gotta know what their pattern is being you're, probably ok without it, but I'm not various disease, doc, I'm telling you what study after and what its told me Spin new year's with Robin and probably Jane, Erica, Jordan and Morgan and the kids. I haven't had a drink and over fifty years, so I'm not a big party or on New year's eve, so well only stay home- and I have a good time doing something back be safe on New year's eve, you're, a big city things or got out a country All right now be careful. Watch yourself, don't get caught up in something were done
involve you destroy wrong place at the wrong time. So be situation aware. I look forward to talking to you next year. I hope you ve been watching the show we ve been doing some exciting things and I really enjoyed spending this year, this time with you, so God bless you Happy new year- and I will talk Do you on the other side and twenty twenty two gutless
Transcript generated on 2022-01-03.