« Phil in the Blanks

How To Make Your New Year’s Resolutions Stick - Part 1

2019-12-31 | 🔗

It’s the new year! Are you making resolutions? If you plan on reaching your goals, tune in to this week’s Phil in the Blanks podcast where Dr. Phil tells you how to increase your chances of keeping your resolutions. Learn how to program your environment, keep yourself accountable and make your resolutions part of your schedule. For more information: https://www.drphilintheblanks.com/ See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
All three tasking does not work. The next import thing. Is you have to listen to your body, not the clock on the wall, worse thing you can do is confuse activity with pro. Tomorrow starts twenty twenty, the new year, which means it's time. You talk about New year's resolutions. Are you somebody that makes new year's resolutions? If you are I'm getting ready to tell you that trick to make Your new year's resolution stick because I'm betting every year, up until now, they ve lasted a little while and then gone away, and there,
is a trick. Get rated tell you what it is and to tell you how to increase your efficiency and twenty twenty five five hundred percent, all starting what whether means dry weather, so you need to winter, prove your skin. Now Robin always says happy. Skin is hydrated. Skin and she's got you covered with everything you need a winner proof your skin so be sure to smooth on layer of robins fifty fears, espionage, fifty moisturize or incense great every single morning, as your last skin care step before your maker Finnish every day, with Robins Hydra, Quince, more surprising night crane before bear so when approve your skin all day every day, with one stop at Robin Mcgraw revelation DOT com
Ok, here we go in twenty twenty, I don't know about you but I'm really optimistic about this year, and I seem to have a really clear view of what's going on. Maybe that's because this twenty twenty and the suggestion Stability of the year is to have twenty twenty vision to see clearly have Clare all the things that I'm looking at what I read, We do think that the first of the year, it's just another day. I get that just three and sixty five days in the year and January first is like any other day, so why We make resolutions on this day. Well, no, it marks the beginning of a new year. So if you're gonna take stock, if you're going to do so, how to change something or some things your? Why not do it at the beginning of a calendar year I mean you could do it on July, 18th just as well, but since we all seem to observe January first, then why not do it now? A lot of people do
and I wrote down some of the people that you may know that made resolutions at the beginning of twenty nineteen, John Mayer, Sir. His resolution was to be more thoughtful in considering news, real I said: stop shopping and quit being late. Amy humor resolve to rally women to support each other she handler resolve to lean and to love and take more career risk machine? Obama resolve to remember that. It's ok to tell people know Bill Murray resolve to make more resolutions. Marilyn Monroe back in the day, He resolved to go to acting class every chance. She got an never ever miss. So what's your resolution? Do you have something specific and when okey about why that's important in a minute and it's ok,
have more than one, but you don't want to do a shot gun approach. You want to take a rifle approach, focused on something and go after it. But here's what I know about resolutions most people make them between sixty Seventy percent of people make new year's resolutions, but only eight percent of the people actually keep them. Think about that Sixty to seventy percent of the people make new year's resolutions, but only eight percent key. And you know how long it takes before they break them. For the resolutions fall apart and go away January, twelve, they last an average of twelve days. So that means you. Twelve days, if you do it the way, you normally do it, it's a what will resolve well, seventy,
one percent of the people resolve to go on a diet. Sixty five percent resolve more exercise. Fifty four percent lose weight and latest. Do that? Generally they don't even talk about diet or exercise just lose weight. Thirty two percent resolve to save money. Twenty six percent resolved
got a new skill or a hobby, twenty one percent to stop smoking. Seventeen percent resolve to read more sixteen percent to change jobs, fifteen percent to drink less and only thirteen percent resolve to spend more time with their family. So how bout you what's your resolution? What I want to tell you is that you need to pick something: that's your thoughtful about and that you have a passion about, and I want to dispel you of one huge mess and that's the myth of willpower. Willpower is a myth. If you think, okay, you know what I'm really excited about this. It's new year's day. I've got this fresh energy, I'm going to get out there and I'm going to do this and I'm going to do it by willpower, I'm just going to get up and do it, those
the people that fail by the twelfth of January. You absolutely cannot do this by willpower. Why because willpower is fuelled by emotion, and emotions are what their fickle they come. They go. I'll pumped up now you're energize, the emotions are running high. Your passionate, but what's gonna happen in a week from two weeks from now it's cold outside you said you were gonna jog, but Neil feel like it. Well, that's when the oceans leave you and solely entered, He goes away. You just don't have the energy. So if you're not gonna fuel it by willpower, then what are you going to fuel it by well? You're gonna feel it by programming. You're gonna, set yourself up. Forces
DAS, by programming your environment, to support what it is you wanna do, environment is terribly important, and programming your environment solely it pushes you or your go instead of in page, you in pursuit of your go, is critical to your success now think about it. I have said before I can cure any addiction or break any habit. If you give me environmental control, I can cure smoking one hundred percent of the time. If you let me, go all the environment, all I have to do is strap a parachute. Do their back. Take him to the Arctic parachute, a man they are cured of smoking. Why? Because, it's not a tobacco and that environment, environmental support, and him to lose weight. I gotta do is put him in the fall
the environment than I can control the pursuit of any girl. Now those are extreme right. So, if your gold, you want to lose weight, it. So if your gold, if you want to lose weight, I'm not gonna pair cute you, or even tell you to parachute yourself into the Antarctic. That's the extreme! But less thinking In the more realistic version, why does it- work in the Nordic will, because there's no temptation there. It's not target rich environment, you're not gonna, be able to smoke there eight to accede as their whatever it is, because he has a pure environment, in the real world, by extension, the more you. Can clean your environment up of temptation of opportunity to change it from a target, rich environment, to a target impoverished in Aren't you gonna have a lot better chance of success, and I'm talking about things that get right.
Go to the simple aspects of life. For example: if follow to is to lose weight and there is path. You follow to go to work every day you park your car in a parking garage and you walk a certain path to your office that goes through. The food court, where you smell the food, you see the food, it tempt you because you smell the sinner bonds over there or the muffins or whatever, then just change your path go up. One floor go over the phone. The court then go down another floor, two things will happen. One you ve just walk to flights of stairs. That's a good thing too.
You avoided temptation alley walking through the food court, which means you programmed your environment to push you towards your goal. Instead of putting yourself on temptation, island program, your environment, so it pushes you toward your goal. Instead of put obstacles in front of you. If exercise is hard for you and you've tried it before, and so you go to work, you get home and you decide okay and then I'm going to change and go to the gym or whatever that is failed. You then take you exercise stuff with you to work and stop on the way home, because once you get home it's harder to get restarted, go out and go to the gym
do it on the way home make it part of your routine. As you drive by the gym, all you got to do is pull in program yourself. Put it into your schedule, make it part of your daily routine, don't go home first. If you want to make It happened, make it part of your schedule programme yourself for it, and if you want to do it with a friend, don't let them do it with you, but don't you put your success, pinned to the tail of a friend who's not listening to this podcast and not learning what you're learning, because your success then is driven by them Besides, I don't wanna go, then you don't go you they want to follow you fine, but you don't hello them do it by yourself. They want to follow you five and then you ve got to understand that listen the next year, twenty two:
is going to go by whether you're doing something about your go or whether you're not think about what I just said we're sitting here today January, one the now Thirty days is going to go by whether you get started, pursuing your go or whether you don't wednesdays, gonna go by Thursday Friday Saturday and I can promise you we're not Superman super women. We don't leap tall buildings in a single bound. We may Small changes in
small changes add up, small changes. Add up. You may think, I'm so overweight. I'm never get this weight off. Will you know what the average weight loss when people get serious is one to three pounds a week. So let's just take the average and say to if you lost two pounds a week for the rest of this year. That would be one hundred and four lb by this time next year. Think about that one hundred and four lb by this time next year. You think about one hundred and four lb, you think impossible, but it's not if it's just a couple of pounds a week, some weeks nothing next week, it would be three next week it would be
next week. It would be nothing but the average across time little changes add up to big results, so recognise the times gonna go by whether you're doing something or not. So you might as well set something in front of you and start taking small steps toward it. Look some day is not a day of the week. Get your calendar out and look there's Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday Friday Saturday, But there is not some day on your calendar, so you're, not gonna. In shape some day you're, not gonna apply for that new jobs some day, you're, not gonna. Ask that purse
that you ve just really been wanting to get to know out to dinner some day, you're going to have to get specific and set a time line, a deadline, the difference between a dream and a goal is time line and accountability, and we're gonna talk more about how to achieve specific goals in part two of New year's resolutions, but what I want to talk to you about now is your efficiency, because I want you to be highly efficient when waste, pursuing our new year's resolutions, the goals that we set, the things that we want, I made a pretty bolster. When, at the beginning of this podcast I said that I was going to Tell you how to increase your efficiency by five hundred percent five hundred percent
you didn't hear me wrong. I said it five hundred percent. That's a pretty bold statement. Don't you think now I'm going to tell you how to do that, I'm going to tell you some things not to do and some things to do. First off. Let me bust a mess and you are not the exception. You may think you are the exception, but you are not the exception and here is the myth: multitasking Wirtz multitasking. Does not work. You may think hey, I'm really smart. I got a big brain on me. I can look in the mirror and see it. I got a big brain on me. I can do for five things at one time. I can keep a lot of balls in the air on young Emmy energetic passionate. I got more balls in the air than a juggler at the circus and I can keep them all in the air. No, you can't know you can't the research is far
and wide multitasking does not work. You just simply can't do it. When you do context. Switching meaning you go from one subject matter to another subject matter: you do your efficiency by twenty percent, so you're working on one project and then the phone rang, so you jump to Another project, your efficiency drops. Twenty percent And once you do get to the second project, you have what is called a team. Gin residue. It takes time These three minutes on average were you to refocus to get back to peek efficiency on the second subject matter at the same level. You were at four. The first subject matter now again
this is really widely researched, so I'm not just making this stuff up. Multitasking simply does not work. Then. Let me tell you something else: it people have confessed to forty six point. Nine percent of the people confessed to something called production. Shame they admit to be thinking about something other than their doing so you're doing one thing but you're thinking about another. Now let me tell you why that's a problem, that's a problem be cause you're. Dividing your intellect think about somebody. That's giving a speech public speaking and this person has a public speaking phobia. They have eggs, eighty of being in front of a large group, so they're out there in front of the group,
and part of their intellect is focused on message. There delivering and part of their intellect is focused on whether or not their succeeding. Whether or not being judged whether or not people are thinking there doing a good job of it, doing a good job. Are they liking? What their hearing are they wanting to get up and leave? Do they need to hurry up because people are being board? Will you what's happening. Let's say this person has a hundred and twenty, I q their smart. There really well educated, well versed their smart in the subject matter, but now the route they're giving this speech and they ve divided their consciousness in half. So half is going to the speed and half is going to their anxiety. Ok, now their functioning it about fifty percent efficiency. That means they're giving a speech with about sixty IQ, sixty IQ is devoted to anxiety? Sixty IQ is devoted to the subject matter, so what happens now?
They really do get judged they really Do a poor job, something other doing and they divided their attention right down the middle. They ve got two voices inside their head. One is saying attention right down the middle, they ve got two voices inside their head. One is saying people are staring. You people are looking at you, people are judging. You, and the other is saying Here- is the message I need to deliver its life listening to two radios playing at the same time, but thereon different stations. If you ve never tried to do that, give it a shot. And see how frustrating it is see how efficient you are at what you're doing, and I promise you it won't be very much. You will not be efficient.
Because you ve divided your intellect in half, so trust me multitasking doesn't work when you switch context. You reduce your efficiency. When he perceived it takes twenty three minutes for you to refocus and don't be part of the almost fifty percent of the people who are thinking about one thing, while they're doing something else, You know I see this all the time out. New world people will be sitting at lunch. Bob will be with Jeff. And he's texting somebody on his phone. The entire time you know, I always say to myself: if You don't want to be with Jeff. If you want to be with whoever your texting, why don't you get up and leave and goby with whoever your texting? I see people doing that all the time their walking down the sidewalk texting. Some one else
Then why are you walking down the sidewalk if you need to communicate with this other person or people why are you there? Instead of here you obviously don't have your priorities in order. If you need to be doing something else, go do it but don't be doing a and thinking about be. So how are we going? Increase your efficiency, five hundred percent, whenever one you're not going to multitask so you're not going to drop twenty percent efficiency, you're not going to take twenty three minutes to refocus and you're, not going to
thinking about one thing, while you're doing another. So here's what you are going to do, you're going to focus one hundred percent for two hour intervals, you're going to focus one hundred percent for two hour intervals and here's when you're going to do it. You need to identify your peak time during they now. This is different for everybody, but you need to ask yourself when it is for you is your peak time of day, where you are the most alert most efficient most on the ball, most people, that's gonna, be in the mornings. Most people- that's gonna, be in the mornings, not for everybody, Most of us are less distracted into mornings. We haven't been through
so much noise throughout the day that we have all of these distractions, so it's gonna be in the morning. In fact, the most efficient I am the most clarity that you're going to have is probably going to be right when you first wake up there you go have a lot of things that you have to do at that time in the morning, but there's an alpha state that wherein, when we wake up in the morning, were not quite awake but we're not cool sleep and there Is a moment of clarity there where there's no external noise. Stephen Cutler worked with a large group of executives
And found that most of them had their greatest productivity times in the morning and it makes sense right you arrested, you dont, have fatigue, built up and in his book, the rise of super man. He talks about finding that best time for you to focus and then got to decide. How are you going to protect that time? What do I mean by protect that time? Well, you have to make an appointment with yourself and you ve gotta, put a big fence around it and means. You cannot allow yourself to be interrupted with emails. Phone calls Door Knox whatever, and this is gonna be the hardest thing for you to do
here. What I just said, you cannot allow yourself to be interrupted by emails, phone calls and Door Knox. That is going to be a major paradigm shift for you Because you go in and sit down at your desk, you go and sit down at the kitchen table wines wherever you're doing whatever you're doing? And you put your phone? and face up right there and you at your ring IRAN and every time it paying you look at it. It's a have larvae in response it dealings, you look it things, you look it things you look. If you do tat. You are not creating a two hour interval. Where are you We're going to be at peak efficiency, because you are allowing yourself to be distracted and go do something else? How many times have you gone back to your office? To sit down and do something gone into the kitchen
get away from the tv and the kids sit down to take on a project, and you opened your emails. And thirty minutes later you realize I've been here for half an hour and haven't done a damn thing. Except answer emails you wasted thirty minutes, you have to prioritize task and answering emails text messages. Things of that nature can be at your less productive times, you don't want to spend your most productive times doing tat dont required near as much of your efficiency as your top priority.
Hey today, Dr Doktor, or or shoved. I think you're gonna find really interesting Eve all heard about these brazilian but lives. I know you have you see him in the newspaper and on the internet, and people are trying to look like different celebrities. Asp with a mother and grandfather of Dania. She died after getting a brazilian but lived in Miami earlier this year and then there's is beautiful. Woman came Michelle she is on a hit. Reality show love and hip hop, very talented, aren't Basinger and she just gets very honest about getting black market but injections and all of the surgeries that have been required to help her recover It is so odd to get someone this high profile to acknowledge what they got into here and I think it's an inspirational story. Then we talk.
Some others that have gotten these black market but injections they don't even know what inside them, with the help of several days cheers, including Doktor Orton from the doctors. I'm gonna help Marlene get to the bottom, no pun intended of. What's going on medically now too, Carro Wednesday January? First, we talk about a family. This divided Born between two men Betty Covenant, Philip, are involved in love triangle. I know your love these things, however, Betty's been married, Philip for twenty nine years and Betty claims that he allowed her to step outside the marriage because he wanted open marriage. There really to greater about whose idea this was but Betty says She did explore meeting other man. She he fell in love with cabin that wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't part of the deal and Philip admit to these heard her in the past, but Herbie
Xavier, is really made him angry and their two daughters say their parents are just hypocrites. They said they raised them to follow the church and now they're not behaving this way, and it gets a little tents on state. I can tell you, because I've got both of them here, Kevin and Phillip, and- like the way those two were interacting, so I cannot cleared the deck a little bit the Thursday, the second its show. We call the wrath of my mother wander. Let things get low, wild with AIDS, very passionate, guess call one. Her daughter, Tiffany told her mother that she does ruined her wedding among other things, but want assessed. He's just make. It applies about her and she knows why she says it's pay back
Rwanda having an affair and abandoning the family want says her bipolar disorder. Major do it and she does some stuff at her daughters, wedding that are so outrageous. I actually thought I was gonna have to host the audience down. I mean they were so upset with this woman. You this won't believe it this so involved. It turned into a two part show, so it continues on to Friday. This gets to the point where this Rwanda, steals Tiffany's twin brother's wedding rings. This thing was pretty outrageous, but I get it calm down and we work through some things, but you're going to find this interesting weddings make people crazy, you'll, see what I mean.
Alex wrote a book called risk. Why you get bored? Would you worked lives? We observe what we have seen in the workplace for many many years. That is the two hours wearing you can really get into the problem ill solutions that are gonna, be better than if you spend ten hours broken up by meetings and bouncing around with e mails and phone calls, and we ve seen this over and over and over you ve got to be laser, focused a short period of time. So there are some steps you ve got to follow. Number one is to find your optimal time to work. As I say, most of you are
I find it in the morning and then you're going to have to protect it and protecting it means turning off the phone, putting up the do not disturb sign, taking all the distraction away, you ve got to get them away, and then you ve gotta, give yourself the right can directions to do good work now? What do I mean by that. You want to work in well lit uncluttered space. That gives you hopefully. A share. You dont have a lot of bad ground noise. You don't have it heavy going radio blaring, you ve got a good workspace. You want a clean, uncluttered desk, fresh air, good light.
Plenty a room. You want to make sure that your blocking and removing internal distractions, no social. Media, no news, no email, all that stuff has got to go away and then it's important that you choose a daily highlight. You ve got to pick what deserves Europe now. This is so important. I have a rule I'm kind of a list maker and I'm getting encourage you to do the same thing. You should set priorities, and I'm too about priorities, for your circumstance is we're talking about work
here then? What are your work priorities if we're talking about home, getting the home in shape? Getting everything done for the kids at whatever it is? You have to list your priorities. Number one number two number three number, four, and that any time you catch yourself, not thinking about, were working on priority number one. You should stop you're doing and get back to priority number one. If you have not done anything you can do on priority one. Why are you working on something else, because now You're trying to multi task now, you're refocusing you do not want to do that If something is important enough that you put it in a number one slot stay with number one: it's not that important! Then dump in the number one slot. Something should be done. For one on your priority list and here's. How
you should decide what goes in number one. It should be time sensitive if its evergreen doesn't matter whether you do it today or three weeks from now. It shouldn't be in the number one priority slot, because it's not time sensitive, it should be something. You have a passion about. If you don't care about it, One way or the other you dont care of it gets done. You dont believe that it makes a difference or matters did it shouldn't be the number one slot, because you don't have a passion for you don't believe in the importance of doing it. Number three there, it would be some pay off to you for doing it. There should be some change that is affected. In your life or your day. If it gets done, there should be currency that you harvest. By doing that.
So if something gets into the number one priority slot, it should be time. Sensitive should be something you're. Passionate about something you reap a reward for when you get it done and if it doesn't fit those criteria. It should not be in the number one slot the next important. Is you have to listen to your body, not the clock on the wall now. Here's what I mean by that. How many times have you ever sat down and started to read something that you really needed to read and because you got still you just couldn't keep your eyes open, you get like two thirds of the way down the page and you're, just fighting that you can't stay awake range telling you that you need to take a rest.
You are a whole lot better off. If you will take a five minute power, nap start over. Then, if you fight that for two hours you ve, probably just had a shift Of energy, where you were racing around now, you settle down for a minute, and so your jets, Argius cooling and your body wants to go to sleep for a minute. That's ok, don't fight it. Let it happen, but then wake up. Even if you have to set your alarm on your watch, wake up after five minutes and then get end of what you're doing your body will naturally crave breaks research. Which has told us that to ours is the maximum time that we can work at peak efficiency before we take it,
We are really going to be at peak efficiency if we work and stretches of twenty five minutes, followed by a five minute break. There's a sleep researcher by the name of Nathaniel Clubman, who says that our minds naturally crave breaks about every ninety minutes of intense work, everybody's a little bit different, but listen to your body. If you start to feel a little fatigue, get up take a break. Go outside for ten minutes. Go walk for ten minutes ago. Do something to shake it off, maybe you're someone it needs to do that every twenty, five or thirty minutes take a five minute break, but you string for five of those in a row and you ve gotten yourself a very productive window, but listen to your body
There's been a lotta research about whether factory should have to shifts, or they should let the first shift role into a second shift in this work. Sixteen hours, instead of an eight hour, shift and bring in a second shift. The hope was they could this? Let that first shift work overtime because they would save benefits. They wouldn't have to do a thirty eight percent benefits package for the second shift, so they would just keep that firstly of rolling, but what they found that mistakes went up in the second eight hours, because fatigue said in so is very clear. They were way way better off by bringing in fresh people that were not fatigued. They, if you really want to do what I'm talking about here,
and I mean really increase your productivity, then you have to bend the rest of your day around this productivity window. Joy, Mackay Railroad article with rescue time, and he talks about the fact that you start with your productivity window build everything else around it. The lesser important things have to take second position and I believe, very much in the pre MAC Principle, the pre MAC principles. As we do less desirable behaviors in order to get access to more desirable behaviors
Now, what's a real world example of that mean, don't you tell your kids? You gotta eat your vegetables before you get your dessert eat your peas before you eat your cookie. That's how you get them to eat their peace which are healthy. That's how you get them d, their spent each other green beans. If not, they would fill up on cookies and care. See and never get there healthy vegetables. So you say: look you got do this before you get that you have do your homework before you can watch the simpsons? So No homework? No Simpsons! You have to do that. As desirable behaviour homework before you get access to the more desirable behaviour, the substance. So if you want to be five hundred percent more fish,
Then you were in twenty nineteen. Then you ve got to do what I'm talking about. You have got to set an optimal time for you to have a two hour window to work and protected at all: cost no Traction no interruptions set up a priority. Have a good workspace prioritize. What's important focus on listening to you, buddy and been the rest of your day around everything that you ve put inside that window. When you get in the habit of doing that, instead of running around like a chicken with your head cut off multitasking. Do this? Do that asked his? Do that call them do this? I promise you your productivity is gonna, go way way up the worst
then you can do is confuse activity with productivity. You can get to the end of the day is how I got I was busy today. Would you get done this just try stuff really make a list. And if you hadn't get most right on the list, then You just been run around in circles and confusing activity with actual productivity, completed projects, I'm talking about how to be efficient, how to prioritize and get done what you need to get done, people that study here functioning people that study human efficiency understand what I'm talking about. If you take this human functioning science and apply it to what we are talking about,
regard to new year's resolutions, then you're gonna become one of the eight per centres. You're gonna become one of the eight percent that makes a resolution which has ago Programmes are environment. To achieve it ends. Stains their pursuit of the girl, where ninety two percent of the people fail at doing it, what an edge that if you move again to do what it at that A whole lot more to it a more to how to me. That resolution really attainable and really worth attaining and that's what we're gonna talk about in part two how to set up a resolution how to set. Go and create.
The environment and the formula for achieving. This is a goals acquisition technology that I have to industry before that was abs, allude life. Changing for the people who took that train absolutely life changing and I'm gonna give it to you in part two. New year's resolution we'll talk next week,
The holidays are about peace on earth and here's a reminder from Robin be sure to create some special space for yourselves and pamper your skin. During this hectic time of year with peace out, I'm done Robins myself, cleansing toner her this soothing rose, infuse Miss will come your way with its own supply. Cotton pads. So just a spray and assume I believe your skin super clean ballast and hydrated gets rid of every last speck of that glamorous. How are they make up? Not to mention excess oil and dirt that can clog your pours, use, Pisa I'm done after a marathon them all when they're just isn't time to wash your face, is also great right. F the work out after a long flight or a long night, a party of get your Mysel cleansing donor, everything else. You need for healthy holiday skin at Robin Mcgraw revelation dot com,
Transcript generated on 2020-01-24.