« Phil in the Blanks

Oprah Winfrey - "The Path Made Clear"

2019-04-09 | 🔗

Dr. Phil and Oprah Winfrey have been close friends and professional colleagues since she first invited him to be a regular contributor on The Oprah Winfrey Show over 23 years ago. On the latest episode of Phil in the Blanks, Dr. Phil says that he’s never forgotten the help Oprah gave him. He also reveals that he sends her a message - at least twice a year – “Just for the purpose of telling you how much I appreciate how much you’ve done for me and my family.” Hear more from Oprah, and learn all about her new book: The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life's Direction and Purpose, on this week’s podcast. Featuring anecdotes from her life, as well as the lives of renowned figures such as Brené Brown, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Elizabeth Gilbert, Jay-Z, Ellen DeGeneres and others, in the book Oprah shares what she sees as a guide for activating your deepest vision of yourself, offering the framework for creating not just a life of success, but one of significance. For more information: https://www.drphilintheblanks.com

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
there's no way I would have ever been on television at all. If I had never met you and we have never done what we ve done, never thought about it a day not a day. I have the disease to please for a long time. You know that it's not like, but we do or have done changes the world, but it certainly change the narrative,
the worst thing you ve ever said to me: do you know what it is? Nine? Ninety one, ninety two when it I say you know, when I started fill in the blanks I said I was gonna, get to talk too interesting people about interesting things and my friend upper Winfrey is the best example of that. I can think now mono Fora for almost twenty five years and I've really getting to know her in every walk of life and I've got to tell you people ask me all the time is over a really as nice as she seems on tv.
And the answer is no tv- doesn't even almost capture how real, how nice? How warm and house insist this woman really is she's got what I call a health engendering personality. You can not be around Oprah without feeling better about yourself when you walk away at once. You get right here is just to France sitting down in talking about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and what's happening in today's world. You were also going to talk about her really exciting new book. The path made clear, discovering your life direction in purpose and in this book she talks to some really innovative fog leaders about what strategy sized embraced to be who they have become indiscreet right to be a fly on the wall and listen to sit down and talk about things that matter to people who care we're gonna jump in all that forty seconds. So do nothing small. Why clutch issued in touching left many you eat at the time, and you didn't just run with Ukraine.
The Baton company tell me, they taught me. Well all my You were the food. Labour God are you to be here with you now fill in the blanks studio the. When did you start this then? The summer really, I was working on it for came into yours within a shortage in the summer I had about thirty five in and before I did my first one. We saw a about twenty ahead. You stay ahead, stay so now you can leave and gone they k, and maybe they call right- and I have a second, when starting in a couple of weeks, analysis of a murder by doktor feel ill. We did all these cases and some going in depth on like the first one. You're killer thorn, If she rose Gypsy rose, the who That's going on here!
I'm the only one is every interviewed her. Why the review to imprison when the wood means, which means you break it down, and I urge all further his figure out why they did what it is and how they did. It saw you talking to them about it. You changed the murderer. Really, you didn't know what they're doing That's fascinating! Actually, like I told you, I saw the one with the whites family do him. Why did he do that? What was he thinking? What that is at a sociopath Rosetta was of malignant narcissist sociopath, so malignant narcissist witches front of the straight narcissist, whose just really follow themselves. This is malignant in that these people
we'll kill you and think that get away with it. That's a different kind of brain in two different color circa. There was talk of already lightning vain Mamma. How can we wings, but I'm fascinated by this item, and why are we so fascinated by it? I won't even know: well all behaviors, continual right what you're talking about in a pathway, clear, all behaviors on a continual. So it is, meanwhile the yes, I do, everything is from why too dark yeah and the darkness. Dark. We re they too because we're on a continuum, but you thank you This way think about for you would have to go from where you are now yeah to do what he did. How demented would you have to become ass
Would you have to be you can't even imagine going there right now? You can imagine going there and also believe in the deepest part of myself that I couldn't go there, that I'd rather take my own life into that. That's why they get away with it, because we don't Are you coming because we don't have the constructs to go there. We can't even conceive of it, so we don't see it coming. That's how mothers get away with mugging people, because when you walk up to somebody on the street- and you say do you have a high yeah? Will we don't? We can see the someone's gonna walk up in unison here? That's why our mind? Does it go there because we're not on that ended at bay? That's why they I know that in the use that three to four seconds shock to get there Anyone who is your money? They know it the criminals know that they know we don't live in those dark shadows and the user to there had been well. You just now the most about human behaviour.
I mean I'm telling you I was stuck in a burning building. I would look, if you in there somewhere, could you be the God be follow. Follow me Papa you right out. Well, I know Can you believe I we rolling no good you believe that ain't that take. Can you believe that we started at a time when the most tumultuous in my life, and now, I think of it- it's been over twenty years right. It feel lake, oh yeah, that thing happen. It feels like a sort of like a lip on the radar screen of my life, but it was such a big thing at the time trial and how I once CSI dearly, Only client has ever done that however, blunt mo you're, the only cloud I've ever been in a focused group when you open the doors come running in the middle of focus group. I've never had a client do that ever really
you can run it in there should know I'm not a bitch seriously, I'm not a bitch. I'm honestly, I'm wanting to hang out with me like that. Oh my gosh. I know I pray you never have to go through it again. Why does being on trial? Why is it such a taxing thing? You know I had a big revelation when I was on the witness stand for two days in a row and the big revelation to me was it. Everybody goes through trials in their life. I have a big life so now, I'm on trial, but Peter trials of cancer divorce difficulties challenges in their life, what it feels like a trial- and I thought oh I'm really on trial- and something about that just was very calming to me and then all trials sort of stands outside your person Hood your speech, to try to tell you who you are, and I have that moment as apply the Kyoto was yelling and spitten that me that only
What you're saying is not true, and he was saying this woman is a liar she's a liar, and I haven't molecular what he sang is not true that I had set up his entire clients to fail in whatever in the beef industry. You know you were there. I urge you woke me up, and you said what is happening here. Yeah, what's goin on here yeah, I thought that the beginning of. That realisation in it so interesting. That use. In the past. Clear links in chapter nine or ten you say do Try me because I know who I yes area, that harking back me too that time, because you say Try me because I know who I am. I trials when you're the target yeah trials in the courtroom were like a microcosm
legal trials in the courtroom, we're like a microcosm of life, is like a little miniature lie. We're gonna connects everything down right now find out who you are yes, it's fair you're at a crooked table. It's like every stacked against you and we're going to find out how much you believe in yourself and how much you're willing to stand up against the machine I'm telling you this because we're such good friends, you are the best witness I have ever had in all the litigation saint because you were so calm at the centre? The loud and more animated they got the calmer you became yes, that is true, and I didn't know what to do. It was like throwing ball against a wall it wouldn't off? I have to say it was one of my, if not the most, certainly one of the greatest spiritual, seeing lessons of my life. That the louder they became literally the calmer. I got because I thought
there is no weapon formed against me, shall prosper and remember when my Angelou came down in choosing the jewish used and remember when my Angelou came down in choosing the jury. She was like in the back room. My a came down. She had her whole pray in committee and they were in the hotel down the street pray and for me, because I was on trial for saying so bad about a burger, but my I was gonna pay em up and Maya had said to me. You go in that court room. And every morning you look the jury in the eye and you repeat in Your own mine in guide, I move and breathe, and have my being this like acts? Seventy two or think I became familiar with a Bible verse in India I move and breathe and have my being, and she was saying that that is how you gonna move through this trial. Only
you- have God and the sooner review and you be in the centre of God, and that's that's how I did it. Actually, it was really one of the great spiritual trials of my life. You got calmer as it were. Only I got calmer. I was crazy, the beginning, a lotta path. We should know Florence AIDS from far away a lot of I gotta get solve the problem, even pie, but as the time or on an eye. Learned so much from that being able to share those lessons with other people is also important to me now. My was a big help, a man she watched through there. Oh did you way ahead of the game are sure. Yes, yes, it was after that should If you would marry that's mother, a chicken for is I wouldn't mind smothered chicken Braille, like it's a good thing for the chicken lunatic and now you got to do a lot of impress into impress my Angelou. You know that
see right through only thing mouths shut we won data and trials. He said. Do you ever Moreover, do you just watch the whole time? Instead s now at his watch and study, she said you keep it up a shirt river water, it's so interesting. I may I this is true for most people, though you look back at your life things, it felt though challenging at one point or things you know the journal since I was fifteen on and off and if I, didn't write specifically what the thing was that was troubling me. If I go now. The other night I was just going through dryness was going through a door. I pulled out a journal that I'd wait. In two thousand three, two thousand for two thousand five fastened to see what your life was even ten fifteen years ago. The level of happiness enjoy. The journal that I discovered was just ass. I was about to move into my new house in Santa Barbara and the level of joy and appreciation that I felt then
I still have now. So this is really great to know that oh gee It seemed like that. I felt when I moved in here, I'm still carrying that every day I wake up the going. I can't believe I live here it's also interesting. When you look back on things that were troubling you, if you don't write the specifics down, you can't remember what it even was our mind has a way of protecting us from that's. Why we don't remember the pain of surgery will or childbirth. We have a way of walking those things that is called perceptual defence, if you think back, during that time is difficult as it was at trial. Think back about. How much fun we actually had cause, you were doing the show in the little theatre. Yes, we were sneaking off in toy odor yeah. Go to trial you and J we're going to K, Mart forget it. I'm saying you were done him. I can't believe what you and yet for nine. Ninety nine. There were some really good times yeah and the fact that
I remember that little bed and breakfast we were staying in a lot of people in my team, were like we ve got to get back to Chicago, but it clean. I felt safe, and I just thought I will make peace with. What is right now bloom, where you planted to do we have a good time with the times, and actually it was during that time that I recognized in our car rides back and forth to court as you were helping me through that time, is when I recognise its a saving of Maya had said to me years ago, when I first interviewed her, and she said Girl- and I remember thinking the same thing- are you boys is due. I remember the first, I'm asking you to do come on there and I remember the first time you came on the upper show, and you were your usual frank self. You hear me.
To tell it like it is and reaction from the audience was like. Who is this guy always saying there this guy, letting him he's just saying whatever you want to say, he's running all over and I said, don't take it down turn it up. You told me turn it up to turn the heat up you not be illustrate within was you are with me. You were with me yeah you had me, the wall, the show you I am proud of my instincts were that will I tell you what little twice a year sinew, yeah message just for the purpose of telling you gee. I appreciate what you ve for me and my family
You ve, never forgotten. I love that about you never met about. I never will I mean it. Wasn't your doing pretty good. Now there in Dallas she had to Christmas tree where now been a house ahead at many Christmas trees is one upstairs one downstairs China corners not around. Now I mean what in the world are. You know Robin now live in the Big Dallas live where the great last year we really did, and you didn't even want to come to California. Remember you wanna moved it. Oh, I thought you had a passport to give him. This is like a forward lay only want to come here and I, like it, you know we ve lived here longer than anywhere we ve ever lived now it is now really we if your longer than it, we ve been here eighteen years now, so now this has become home. Greg model yeah, which was the first person that emit Gregg Muddle and Roger King, and we ve Roger of course you know. I've spoken is celebration of life when we lost him.
Greg a year before we started there's been eighteen years, I still play tennis together, three or four times away, you still have the same people. That's pretty incredible that you know Carla's still here everybody. So here we still got the same seven cameramen ahead the first day, no We actually one of em passed away just recently all minds. We had to replace where the airline is was here. The first day their body seems to counter stay, and this is what our again security guard. It works. You in my niece was here the first day, thereby seems to contest. I This is what I don't get. You know, you started doing your honor! I knew that you, you know I was so happy when I think was four years we did. The show together was for for when we decided to do the show and whom we did some of your five I'll get some of the effect, and I started to call those because it now.
After it was some days were heavier than other days, and I'd have to say that, on the days of the you were on, I was always so happy. I used to call it. I get to leave my brain at home today feels going to be there. I didn't leave my brain at home. I can just sit in the audience. Let you do your fail thing. Yeah five or six shows your ages ago. Layered and yes. Well guess it was like crazy, and you still going strong, I'm having a good time, you're, never gonna run out a dysfunctional people. No truth, no no people say- it's crazy world now, there's a lot to do in its so funny how its change something back. When you started yeah to win started. Hemi years had you been on when I started, because it was in ninety eight. So I started eighty six side down what twelve years here Much has changed since then, but even from when I started here,
things were dealing with now this. What I started, the first text had not been said. There were no smart phones, there was an eye. You too, there was no snapchat. There was no none of actions and where we are now doing, the whole world, how completely new world yeah. When I ending the Oprah show. We were doing a number of shows about p ball putting their, gadgets down and be able to spend time at the dinner table and what would happen if we took your? You know your gadgets way now you couldn't, do it now nobody's given up their found? No no is given up their phone or by looking down that's right there. Now you couldn't even to the concert triple used to waver, lighter YO now allows their phone now it turned on their flashlights, unwavering back and for how we getting any better as a culture, we're getting worship, interpersonal skills and interaction, because people down engages much anymore. I contact actual.
Engaging people in a meaningful dialogue is being replaced. By short hand, Forty character tweet, an instant messages and all that people are, messaging people inside their own houses, seriously Thakane texter kids coming. We No, I'm not hungry, come anyway. No who told you about it. I think it's funny, but I'm sure that's true earliest room. It's funny. Now is is. That means there is a town there's a breakdown dating people
we'll talk for two years on the internet before they meet yeah. So by then they know everything about each other, and so they dismayed and go to bed chord in power over the way you type we're losing some of those skills, standing percentage of young people within an hour being on the internet or income act with a predator. You're being groomed within an hour being on the internet. Whatever forms that go beyond now to control. I did two hundred and seventeen shows on predators in chow, molestation doing the Oprah show, and I don't think I even made a dent in it and certainly now could not because it's beyond anything any of us can even imagine your ability to groom and have access to children as much as we talk about a loved one hundred fifty shows or something on it, and still
next week there'll be a girl that got out a bedroom window. I try to go made a fourteen year old boy and got there and he was thirty nine and she the car anyway, then you say what the hell did you see they're not listing or because they're here and at school there hearing it on television, their hearing it everywhere, but they still do it. Does anything surprise you now I mean you ve done the range, the spectrum of behaviour. Does any Surprise you as soon as I say, no Chris what happens or something like tat, you think my God as soon as you say: no somebody finds a new way to be evil a new way abuse children, the elderly, thirteen children that we saw recently amended is just astounding to me:
people will go and adopt children to abuse them gas, and you think what to hear, if you don't want him to let our case in California last year, with ease, drive off the cliff yeah. I now that is still standing to me. So you do get surprised and I also gives surprised at the strength of human spirit because I'll see someone whose head to bury their children and I'm taken if some managerial Jordan, you just have to make me the who I see strength of these people that our resilient and come back and I'm just humbled by it like. How do you do that? So I'm sorry, as by that to see both ends of the continuum where people are so inspiring to overcome things. We ve had victims master violence. Were there significant. Others have knocked him, das them with gas set them on fire, their burned over ninety percent of their body. They survive
come here and say, I want to help women not be in a situation here. Come on the air for the first time ever seen in public guilty fleetly scar, tissue and all they say I'm here to help that kind of thing. I remember a situation where women had been still The husband had given the recorder too. He is thirteen year old Son to film him, beating his mother She then came on to talk about it and why to help other people recognize? The symptoms of domestic violence before you actually get beaten down to the point where you can't get yourself out or feel that you can get out so people who feel brave enough to take those stories and use them to help other people to see the light for themselves. That's why we we do really matters? Because people do
here those stories? If we don't tell you imagine, had you just remained and by the time I met you, you were already out of the business of doing so. Logical, work, roar patients, but imagine If you will the number of people you have been able to rescue from themselves or led them to the law. Weight of discovery for finding other counselling for themselves. Compare sitting one on one in office? doing with a shovel versus the of the army of back oh yeah yeah. I do see that because people tell me sometimes they. Why would somebody come on television and do the as yet versus doing it privately? you don't know where to go privately outright and we ve been in their value rings because nobody's ever ask them before the try. The majority of people have never actually been asked how they truly. He'll about any thing,
I've had so many people tell me that they used to come home from school in the fifth grade and mother would say you have to be quiet, doctor one over on yet and now they're here on the show with them. Fifth or sixth graders, while saying now, my fifth or sixth greater comes home. I'll, tell him hey, you have to sit, and you can't talk right now here and it's come a whole generation. I know because its twenty three years since you and I started being on together slowly out its thinking Finally, the ownership of seventeen twenty three year has now been born, grown up and have kids. Are there oh yeah it's been a long you to have it so rewarding for me to run into people all the time I just with someplace in girl started crying, and she said you don't know you don't know, and I got the idea. So. You came home from school and your mom was in home and you are
such key kid and you watch your show every day and did you like? Yes, as I did, and so I got so I raise you, help raise your right. You want a young inventor, I read your elbows, you did. I do a good job and he says yes, so the fine that to be one of the greatest rewards of the work that I was able to do for those twenty five years and now continued to do. Of course, if we didn't do it and it wasn't done, I think there would be a. I don't think I'm saving the world, but I think it is advancing the narrative. I think we are making mental health part of the narrative we wouldn't have been otherwise. I would agree with that. You know, because when I first started in eighty six people were adverse to even receiving counselling. It was I would never go to a counselor and my gosh in the african american community. It was like heresy, I mean. Are you just like yeah so
just ignore such a stigma. So I think that that's part of what you ve been able to do for sure. Remember what you said in have those two chairs facing each other: Diane Diane squeeze the Cologne, Diana heads and people facing each other and what I could feel from the very first day you or on the show, and people were like who is this guy? If people could see the real you in full force telling them about themselves that they would. To be told about themselves and ate a week. We turn that thing around to the point where we were like I want to build? Tell me like it is because we went from trying to find people to tell it like it is. Do people like please led Doug Norville, tell me like it is because you joy was ok, yes, very much. Ok and I That is true, though, that so many people are just looking for. A path
looking for a way to discovered the best themselves. You think people basically good, I think, can be- and I think you said it well in the past- made clear when you said it's our job to fight and our purpose sway and to honour that purpose. It is a job. I think too many people wake up every day and therein reactive mode, they do what they do on Tuesday, not because it but they want to do on Tuesday or because it's what their call to do on Tuesday, but because what they were doing on Monday yeah just what I am authentically I'll? Do it just because that's what I was doing on Monday, so I'm going to do it on Tuesday and then on Wednesday. I'm going to do it because it's what I was doing yesterday totally reactive mode instead of actually sitting down and saying now wait a minute, what am I really equipped to do? What am I really meant to do, and I think that the biggest tragedies
Seen this happen so many times is: I've watched people spend their whole lives working to become the best at something they didn't want to become like they become the best. I can where they become the best chef where they become the mill whatever, and they didn't even want, and that is what they wanted to be the best in the there and they say I've reached all these accolades. I've got all these degrees of achieved all this, but I wanted to they guitar, so they be the best is something they didn't want to be the best tat and then it's over, and I think that's terrible, I think that's a terrible terrorist and there was a time, whereas demoniacal professors at the Catholic School, a business in this round. Ninety nine, ninety right after the trial actually many nine eye, and then I started the magazine and I could not great pay there's an do. The magazine Louis Show, so I gave it up, but I remember
teaching leadership course there, and one of the things I was saying to the students is the same thing that I say in this new book path made clear is that your real job is to figure out what it is you come here to do and get about business of doing that, and unless you do that, you will never actually be happy and I remember one of the students saying to me. My parents have spent over fifty thousand dollars on my education and now I'm here it is, you know, school. I'm gonna have to go and be what they want me to be. They have to I'll try to help pay some of this money back and I said so. What is your life worth what your life is worth under? Fifteen thousand honest the student who is: are you with me in class and was going to be an investment banker when did it traded for of yours, hated it sent me a letter after a couple of years saying I finally get what you are saying and now I'm a photographer. I'm sorry, photography business, and I realise that the reason I didn't do it is because I was
fraid of the risk It was so much easier. Just do the thing that my parents, when it me to do rather than men, to take the risk, but then, in the end, what is your life worth is what I say so I was. I was really happy to know that somebody came around. We are, you said something interesting in the book. You said on August for dated nineteen. Seventy eight, with my first day, working on a Baltimore talk, show called people are talking here. It was also the last day I had a job yeah. I was unceremoniously demoted and it was the day I experienced the first spark of what it means to become fully alive, yeah. I remember that just like it was yesterday. So what was it before then he had been a news reader, which you did well I've seen it tapes you did well, but what was it about that that then you were you, said this is what I meant to do. High cholesterol
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Well was so interesting because I have been trying to get another job as a news reporter anchor one and I had been demoted from the main six o clock news they taken off of the six clock news and had put me on this show called people are talking, because I had a twenty four thousand dollar contract and they didn't want to have to pay me Let me couldn't wasted, couldn't wasted but she's a player overhear, wonder ways doing by thousand hours of eager. Put over there and till the time you know. Been covering news stories are recovering a new story where I started to realize that the can public. Doesn't here very well. A drunk drivers have to kill, not one person, but seven it's coming from choir rehearsal
school bus before people pay attention- and I saw this in the pattern of the news, because you know Experience was every day in this business of reporting, the worst that goes on in the world and it just made me not feel hole complete, but father was, in my ear literally said, Do you not find a job like this? Be twenty five dollars would obey you? the Bible devalued legal review you be, which is whether my given my twenty five thousand or so you better, I quit their job because You're not gonna, make this kind of money, so I felt sort of a responsibility to like Ok, I remember the first time my father actually say ten thousand dollars and he came home and said I did it. I've got ten thousand dollars in the bank. I've got to savings in the house, is almost paid off. Would movement aid now ten thousand so I was always train to live beneath my means so
idea of saving half of what you made saving all your money was how I grew up. And also saving for the future. So I wasn't going to like quit that job we're making twenty five thousand rosier- until they demoted me, so you know they had to pay thickly fire me in order, it'd think about now. What am I going to do and so on? put me on the talk, show after I had been demoted because I was too emotional. I would go stories We stand at the crime with the people, sorry. You lost your house in a fire and then I get written up for it. I been called in Winfrey, we saw you on tape and you're standing out. There grew those who have your Roddy radio voice. Yes, yes, yes, so I always felt streamed like I was pretend being to be Barber Walter's, and I really wasn't you know I was now you so. The first day I was on that talk, show it was a car.
Will ice cream man talking about his multiplayer routes The best we could do and any from all my children and I actually watched all my children during the day when man, I think what was I do with my life- had come home and watch soap operas, but I felt like y all this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Rush we talk, you're talking to people and you're, having a reaction to that and even those reaction to the you know, flavors of ice cream but you're having a reaction to it. Actually allowed to express yourself. So I was hooked. I was hooked up first day and haven't had a job since no use you don't believe in coincidence, is so. What do you believe in? I believe that there is a lot that half of that. I believe that their is a calling on everybody's life and that that call is constantly trying to pull you in the direction of your highest good. The highest self and
Oh, I don't think it was an accident that you and I met and that it had to come to the who knew that that's what that beef try was for. I wish I didn't tell him that I haven't said hey which, on the show without trial. I don't think that was a coincidence, and I certainly don't think that me, having to be demoted because I wouldn't have ever quit or would have never quit, because I would have had that whole. Up bringing in my head. So I believe that This preparation meeting the moment opportunity and I can say that is true for my life I can say, is true, certainly for what I saw in your life. People may say: oh may I just lucky that Oprah winfried that you had that trial, it wouldn't have been lucky. Had you not been ready, and so the same thing is true for me in that moment, and anybody else who is listening to us right now. The opportunity shows up and there are multiple opportunities that show up, but if you are not prepared in that moment than theirs,
such a thing? As luck, I think you got to seize the moments for sure and strong belief, and I think my people don't agree with what I'm your right to say. I don't think crises or does Asters create heroes, They reveal who the heroes are or who the coward jar gap when I like a hurricane hits and You find these heroes that swim back through the water and the people and bring him out That person was a hero before that hurricane. Here, that's why they were just revealed by the circumstance mom? I disagree with that. I think a lot of people think that somebody sitting around and they just become super man in the moment and I don't believe that I think they were a super man before it yet and that's just
the track they ran on yeah, and I firmly believe that do yeah and if they didn't sees that moment and do that, as I see it all the time, these heroic people that do heroic things at critical moments those were he rose and you're, just fortunate that you met them at that time and didn't mess with them at the wrong time, but it's also feel don't. You think it is true that I remember what two years ago in her aching Harvey to seeing this at the end of a news cas this act, american guy who was up to his opportunities in water- and he had his boat out there and was CBS. Actually, the interviewing him he said. Ah, this ain't, nothing. This is just Texans do ended, just warm my heart so because I thought in this moment this guy
I feel, like he's a part of something bigger than himself in this moment all say nothing. This is just what Texans do in these people come from. Every walk of life doesn't does matter how smart they are or how educated they are You remember Robin Sister. They got down near the acid. The God which eighty per everybody's folder learn. This was in the middle of the country. And they race to this gas station no country boys sitting in there. He races out sir clothes off burnt his hands in acid dances. Her with hoses at all in tells a guy, Dr Honor, you need to go as fast as you can towards Oklahoma City. I will call an ambulance made you all this. Has anyone is stranger just together like foreign morning, while one guy, this guy afterwards offered him a reward is like the Gabon Mubarak.
What are you talking about here? was there she needed help, assist, wouldn't give me his name is like dark billion worry about it. This is the guy that yeah and it was always there was it could be that way raised it embraces out. There does what he has to do he's burned and stuffs egg over it it'll way to work out orbit, Where are those people? You know you never know where they are, but thereafter yeah. And it was always there was always there was always there. He was supposed to be there that night for her right. Thing is true for fame, though I may I remember saying this to you years ago and it's true The things that I am actually most proud of is that I am the same person. I was- and I know, there's not just because I was reading my journal recently and I think the same things and feel the same way about stuff, but you know my better still on the ground and is wearing better shoes, but if he is still on the ground
because what fame does what they eat the attention does. Is it puts a magnifying glass, so you get to see who the person really is, so you actually just become more of who you are You know. So if you jerk, before you just become a more magnified, jerk right through stiffly, drew you said something else in the book. I want to ask you about this when you gonna have translate for me. You said my deepest desire is for people to get still enough to dignify what makes them unique and connect to hope possibility and fulfilment in areas of their life? What do I need to about that? but on the other hand, they made no splaining, but I mean, for average people yeah there. Dont use words like hope. Possibilities film uniqueness in connection with it
oh about oh yeah, ok, it just means get still enough to connect to what are you really want get still enough now to the part of EU. That is pure and whole and that it is literally the voice of God in you speaking to you through you and what I have learned glad I learned it at an early age is that the voices of the world will drown out the voice of God. If you, who are crazy enough to listen so still this is a religious practice for me practice stillness in the morning. I practice I go to bed in order to actually like com myself from whatever the day is I just sort of get really really really still before I try to fall asleep. Psycho, for me, and even this morning when I knew I was gonna, have a big full day and I was gonna be coming to you. I got still under my oaks, so that whatever comes from me comes from me in a calm,
clear with this ice of Miss clarity and with truth, come no bullshit, unanimous that it's not a fake so much so that we started. I don't even know, we'd started so that you just come from Europe. Well, we ve known each other We can do that adheres reach them ask in this by the way, I've got a guy on my advisory board here and now we have this picture by advisory. No, I didn't know you have a way where they advising you for We think we have an advisory board. It's made up of the top minds in psychology, psychiatry, medicine, sociology theology, really and so they have a really complex case. I can to all these people and their from the top learning centres in the country Harvard Yale, Stanford University taxes. When you start they won
we built it up, only ended the first with three four people. Now it's been an average of fifteen over the last. If you had a new case that you think is really layered, and maybe it's particularly intense in neurology, allow something, for example, Doktor Dan Siegel who's, the doktor of psychiatry, you say allay medical school. I was I'll tell you that he has a booklet he had written this year and there's research that says that if you take even fifteen or twenty minutes, today to be still mister to this really get is Tt Jake says in the path made clear, here we are viewed him. He says you to business and everything out your head and you really still that actually one of the few things. It is scientifically proven to be anti aging reality,
actually allows your brain to repair itself in rarely your whole body to actually move backwards, in very positive another with science to Tibet. But I can certainly feel that in myself I feel illumined from the inside out do does refresh you, it's like stage for sleep on steroids, review, rule yet still, and do that. So I see where it makes sense. But my point is this: if you mass lows: hierarchy of any new engine is physiology. Safety, Levin belonging seem in itself actual situation, I think alike. People. Don't ever get past physiology witches survive. What do I need to food and then safety were I dont get killed in all. That's what I mean about being reactive. I dont know what we have to do for people yet still enough to recognise what unique about them, so they can
to hope, possibility and fulfilment, because there it's way high at the hierarchical mosey. You can't do it until something really bad happened to them right. They are forced to do it and I know you have, because I have to interview people who have lost everything and in the midst of losing everything they find What really matters for themselves you find out when you ve, lost everything what you actually need to a decent and good life for yourself, you yeah, but what What people to understand is weak leap tall Leap, tall buildings in a single bound saying the other day when I was younger, I used to hear people say: you're. My philosophy life is- and I should like a must- be really shallow, because I don't have a philosophy, I fear, and then I realized I actually do for me. It's pretty simple: like don't reward, bad behavior. I mean things like that where the winter
do things losers don't want to do. I mean they're just things that I govern myself by an when pay. Read this book and they need to read this book. I don't need to read this book. They need to study this book. They aid to the National reside thing right. It is yet another Scott Beautiful, still images in it. I mean that on purpose here, look at this and really be still yes, and one of the reasons I did this book is because I have so many girls than I am mentoring at my school, in life now school and continue to want to go to school. I said: ok, it's enough, but the gradual, whereby there is this, let us get into the world, let's get a job and get a job here, but so many of them, even after finishing school, are so Looking for what is the path? What do I do? How do I figure out what I'm supposed to be doing? What is my purpose? How do I know that the decision that I'm making he's gonna be the right decision for me and I think so
Much of your twenties is just about trying to figure it out Jim I'm trying to let them all understand and that the ass will be revealed to you as you spearmint and try new things and oftentimes, knowing what you don't want to do like from. In my case, knowing I did not want to be a new report on the rest of my life helps info what you do want to do. So you know I don't want to do that and that's really important and I agree hoping Stability is high on the on the scale when you just trying to get you rent paid, but in all to be able to do what you need to do to find clarity, the get the rent paid. There needs to be some stillness in order to make real decision making that is, gonna move you forward in your life. She only gets really profound what you said about figuring out what you don't wanna. Do yes, second lopped off a whole lot, like you said one and you want to do, was be quiet day to be didn't want a job where you had to be quiet and so
That takes a whole lot of behind the scenes. Sort of stuff- yes, you don't work out in a field, you don't want to be behind the scenes. You're gonna be a refer. Now, listen I added to offer a day. I was working in a store where I had to organise the socks and when they were told telling me telling over the salt girl of a, but I was not allowed to talk to the customers. You cannot talk to anybody so people would come by and I'm not allowed to even speak to them. I can be it a job where I am not allowed to speak all day. Zippered. You got a funny name anyway, and another debate. You remember your name, that's what I was dull change. It goes nobody's gonna. Remember them, Asia, the others, mineral I just what people do not be like ours and take you. I have a philosophy, patient or purpose the relation to do this all in one leap, this start off by saying: I'm gonna be quiet,
think about what's important to me in my life right now, right wasn't: how do I categorize there and also isn't one of the best questions is? What do I want? That's the question. The question? What do I really want? Not I'm told I walk out what I am expected to do. Not what my dad did. My mother wants me to do. What do I want? and the doesn't mean you being selfish because the better you take care of yourself, the more you have to give to others if your emotionally bankrupt You're doing what else wants you to do? Then you dont having to give to your children or the your mother, you Father anybody If your emotionally bankrupt the you cheating everybody around. You take care of yourself, so you can have something to give their body else. That is why I believe I used to try to avoid anybody ever thinking or feeling them. I was full of myself. It was like the worst thing anybody could say she so fully herself. Well, I'm not!
full of myself. But I wanted to be full to the point where my cup runneth over and I have after offer other people and I'm not depleted. In my own life, you know everything about getting older, though, is that teaches care less and less about? What can he be happy? We ve been that happens. It's the best thing about getting older. You want to say. Oh really is not a problem for you. We closer argue to the end, but you never had that sea I'd have real bad. You never had it. I had the disease, please for long time. You know that, but I've never had the need to be loved by strangers. Really ex groom don't know of any and soothing is no matter what you do. Somebody's gonna have a problem with it writes a lily. Ok, what you do! I could start my car on sunset to keep from running over a kitten and somebody's gonna say that arrogant, bastard block traffic on it today here. So what
Somebody else I some so eventually would want to do yeah. It's me. Are they get there, though? Oh yeah, I think your I ve, just as we did, they d get older man. That's a beautiful thing about getting older than I think. And to remain healthy and be able to look at your I and have no regrets about it because you know, I've always lead with kindness. You know, I think I have I the best when I can do something for someone else and That person really appreciated that. Why the letters that you send me you, no idea really have no idea, then that's all I ever wanted. For many ways and know that oh, this is a thing you ve done in that this thing is appreciated by somebody that it was received in the Spirit in which it was offer You know the last when you said it was. I called yoga, usually this latter builders, road musical, send it to meet ended in failure
no longer exists, gonna, another energy. You I'm going to read it to you immense, so we're both on the phone like wage costs. Is really good, and I know how much words mean to you. It's true, I think Oh, you can offer some one your sincere gratitude for them. Being in your life, your sincere gratitude and appreciation for something that they have done and that you can feel that in the way that that person as off I don't think, there's anything better. The man, It's all my girls, the first year I had all these girls and they are going out by me. Flowers and Teddy bears, and I please do not. I don't have there's no room in my house for anything else. Just there is another beer give me your words Gimme a words I want to know what This experience means and so last year for my sixty fourth birthday, one of the girls, the girl, when Stanford gave me a little wooden box. Would sixty four reasons why I love you with.
Tiniest little things- and I didn't you know nor We recognise about myself students. One of the best gifts had never received, so I took the lead, the letters you ve given me over the years, the best ones and I've put them in their own little frames. In my security door, so I have them Will it could lead to hear that? Yes, on record and leather that matters, because I don't think people when you say thank you enough to you, you did try you do, but you know there is a wonderful line in the color purple. That's why it's called upper. Beware: the show characters speaking to the silly character, and she says, I'd go through, all the trouble making the color purple.
I get so pissed, when you don't notice the color purple, because you went through all that trouble to make the color purple and then you just walk right by it and don't even notice- and he says cuz what God loves most is appreciation I think that is also true of humans people, humans. Love being appreciated, even if they didn't do it for that purpose, he has even if they didn't do it for that purpose. Because you don't do the things you do for there are well there's no strings. There's no expecting ass now, but I will say this: let me just go on record. I had no idea. I did not think that doktor Phil thing with last seventeen decent. No, I did not. I thought even said to people like him to a three seasons. He's not get bored with, it needs to go on, dies, entered I'll, be back in Texas, you'll be
little did? I know that you would own Hollywood that there would be fill in the blanks and doctors and the balls in Birmingham now there is an entire empire. Little did I now hope that you'd taken, I can do it well, shit, you laughs, look alike into it. I mean. What you and J and Robin of DAWN, it's great while Yama taken over tv, come all well my ideas, you gonna, do some, do you mean real it all to you? I believe that I mean go. Olympia. Couple did ya, did we RO projects with Serbia Studios right now on things, working on, and I loved the Morgan several with Jordan, and he has a new single that he dropped yesterday
She's going crazy, so he's havin, fun, Jays, havin fun would only go you. It's gonna be joined career even without YO. Go. Don't question is who is coming here and I'll be in jail assistance yeah, he's gonna. Tell I wish to proceed. Is gonna be a rock star and yo? I dont know if you would have been like you television empire people like I dont think that what happened that's? Why can we not even that trial? I do not think that would happen. Also. I don't exactly remember at the trial ever said one word to one person I never gave interviews now I will say who are you I'm not here here s. What I always say that you who are you now about who you are you mister introvert? Who would have thought this all others he'll tell people that I'm sure they don't believe. I know it. I do not believe I do know my my hill is a cocktail party, yours and mine, and I do vodka. You don't said yeah my hills, a cocktail
Party, because think, I'm very interesting and I'm not interested in what I have heard. Small talk right, revealing you don't think you're very interesting in USA, and I will give you a you what I think- and I know I know what you are us oh, don't put our jealousies, NATO's more terrible, low paid work, worst, the, where No. I live in seen you at parties in your like over in the corner somewhere your lake behind Robin, the worst thing you ve ever said to me? Do you know what it is? Ninety nine, due to night out where the Tina Turner Concert Hall, who what did I say, we're the ro right, yeah, maybe two saying Erica's. Nobody in the front row accept your security guards who other back to the stage watching you.
Trains run over me matter, but they're watching you and of Tina Turner when we ve been back, say I'm at her and everything. Thank you. Like really end of this week, an hour in the concert official tap on my shoulder and what she said why concert are. You watch us as was said cause you watch you up, clap lock up so off work. Also, do you watch you know I've been in another area and not in this. When I didn't, do you rob and look like backups ensure over there you go about from the jerk. I do remember by night, though it was, I have another for you about the book. You an answer yet translate again. Life is about growth and change and when you are no longer doing either
you received your first whisper. This is in chapter three, which is about Whistler's way, but I guess there are ten chapters in this book and it tail off tat. Is our full is one. But this chapter three whispers you say growth and change It's not happening that your first whisper. My question is How do you know the drill? prince between growth and change. A healthy way never being satisfied and being caught in ascendancy where you always climb and climbing climate never satisfied with anything the matter what you get, no matter what you do, what you do nothing! there good enough. How do you no the difference. Well, I think you know, difference by the way you feel so I would have to say- and I think you can it has to this- for yourself to that The ascension feels good and solid. Every
tap along the way, and you would know this now, having built an empire. The effect that This feels good and now ok, now I'm gonna move to another level, and now that still feels good I'm growing I'm changing and for me, the more will you stop growing into new? discoveries a new way of seeing things a new way of creating things. That's the first whisper that you need to do something to change when you feel stock or you feel like life is in moving for you anymore, or you feel board. Bored being board Just like you said yourself. If you ever get bored, that would be if you ve a board. Then that is a signal, a whisper to you, that something needs to change. That explained it to me, you still value what you have. Yes, you have achieved or are doing like maybe you're working with disadvantaged children yeah.
Now. You want to work with abuse women and expand you're philanthropic activities. Helping of others or open a school or whatever does it mean that you don't real value. This is much you just want to reach further absolutely, and unless you look at using example, I mean so You were doing the talk, show doing that very well, sir, successful and decide it. Oh gee, there's some other areas that I also might want to explore. Lead try this so you created another show, so you make the doktor. Then you do that, then you say well, you know what we ve done very well in this non fictional format. Being able to create talk in different forms, then you say I don't know what made you say it or think you could do it, but to say I'm gonna get into creating dramas. Well, that's
exactly what I mean by the ascension and continuing to grow change develop. Of yourself to the next level than the next level in the next level, I don't? U, r? U keeps you challenge and when your challenge, you keep thinking aloud, he pure juices flow on and what made you think you could create ball with J came and said your undervaluing how interesting everything you were doing before I started doing this really. And I think we should really take a look at that the cells based on you, write that yet facing her doctrine. Symbol is that it fell yeah. So we ve from that, and then when we do that, then they said what we want. Some other things, and so we create some other things, and they said that first, where you nervous well, they
Oh me doesn't always happen this way because it does not happen. Here's what I mean where you nervous about moving into I was nine time I was nervous about the execution yeah, because I can't go on screen and do it so you ve gotta, stay back and and delegated. Let somebody else do it. That was a nervous part for me. Cause you got all. You can do all that yell at somebody else. Do it, but we ve got a great system like a whether these really good here, look just like. Don't you think exact back your personal input glasses on our support, I'm so proud of what you all been able to accomplish its really it's one of those things were certainly know that what we did in the early days opened a door but, as I say, open a door. You took the baton and you created a baton factory
again, you didn't runway. They created a baton factory. There's no way I would have ever been on television at all. If I had never met you and we have never done what we ve done. I had no aspirations to do it. I had no, I never thought about it a day not a day. No day. I mean you, don't look like this and go on tv around TB looks like Johnny Depp or somebody our George Gloody argument, a member. I did my first book, you said: oh you'll, see it. It's got his big o bald head right on our care nascent file. Gm is, it is maybe the trademark right yeah What are you gonna do real? That's when you are you're, gonna, grow hair that happen somewhat next for you what's on your path, my as is now going The next level. Actually, I'm excited to be working with Apple there in a billion pockets.
And to be able to create content that gets exe owing to the world in that way. Actually My first series I'm gonna be doing, is on mental illness and to be able to my time in telling those stories in a way that help people see it and bring it home to them in. They said they see themselves, creating the world's largest book club gonna be doing full shows out of apple stores and streaming them around the world and whenever there something of particular interest to me that I feel like oh gee, I could use a wider platform to explore who's. This idea this subject to a world people, that's well, do do you feel challenged by it all very excited about, like you were when you were doing the operation it's a different kind of excitement, because I've mellowed into myself, you know, and so then I was just
over so many years I never didn't even look at my itinerary until the thing whatever I was doing was over because I was just being pulled. And pushed into so many different directions. And now I pick and choose what I want to do what I want to do it. I love my home so much so that I spend as much time there is. I choose to and build my schedule around what I want to do when I want to do it, and I do anything without thinking about what it is and how it's going to effect overall, the balance in my life, so I may have reached epitome of what it means to manifest. Who wealth in your life, because I don't feel like. I just have my he and things I feel that my friends. I feel like the girls that I've raised, that even you know. I call them my daughter's, even though I didn't give birth to them. I feel like
the people that I associate myself with. I feel like my surroundings fill all of it is a source of great wealth and richness to me the relationships that I have the friendships that I have the way that I move through the world. All of it brings us since of richness. To me. Are you working life. Then you were when you, once the network, which was twenty hours a day. I am working much less. I really have a really pretty balanced life, so you're, really taken time actually, like I wasn't here, I'd be out in the yard right now torn up taking time for myself taking time to be with Stedman to be with my friends to be with the girls to end it into also keeping myself stimulated with work that I love her beauty, the time along the way to stop look around diameter? Well, what yeah
when I think that what we were talking about earlier, it's not like what we do or have done. Changes the world It certainly change the narrative, I think that, having a show like mine and prior before me, there was Donoghue, and now you having this continuum. The culture helps reflect the culture back to itself and how people see themselves in ways that can improve their lives. It doesn't mean that everybody who watches is improved it. Certainly there with the offering of people in being able to improve them their lives in something that you share with me years ago, when I was upset over some guest who didn't get it. I was ain't got even after all bad and you Diane Museum and she still didn't get it, and you said you not doing it typically and necessarily for that person. You're doing it for
all the people who see themselves in that person. Or I don't wanna, be that person you for all those people so I continue to be rewarded by not just the woman who people like the women who came up to me crying saying you know you raise me by rewarded by knowing that thing that Maya had said to me when I told her that, oh, I am so sorry you, Mr School Opening and she said I couldn't be there and I'm sorry, it wasn't there, and I said: oh, it's gonna be my greatest legacy and she said you have no idea what you're legacy is now idea. And I was like. No, it s coming legacy and she's I do you hear me as I do. I have no idea what you're legacy will be and she was making biscuits and she put them down, and she said it's everybody who's ever watched to show and decide I'm gonna leave my abusive husband, everybody who said I'm gonna get on a better diet. I'm gonna go get my blood pressure, checked everybody who said I'm not
hit my kids anymore. It's every she said. So everybody in the audience watching the audience, the guess the experts, something you said, think somebody else said the It is all a part of the legacy and you have no idea how wide reaching how them infestation of that work has affected. Everybody who seem the show, Its worldwide oh from Sweden, from all over Europe and say, but What you said I took with my mother and debt write a sadness changed everything you think those who need. I did five years ago, Ryan, that is your legacy. Every life you ve touched she's right about that, because you talk about everything that happen. You say what is here to teach me ass, an I think I've been so bless because
I can honestly say everything I have ever done prepared me for what I am now doing nothing has ever been like a total outlier right, I mean nothing's wasted on ever spent a year selling shrimp out of a day and then a mother river. Everything is either been csi or private practice or reason arguing and rising omitted. It's all right. It right here to being able to do the things that I'm doing in its true, sometimes a worse gas or the best teaching tools. Yeah disabled go. Oh my god. It sounds like me on ever say that again, yes, one of the best lessons ever learn for me was there was a woman in the audience stood up and said that has been achieved on her and she didn't know she could go forward and she Didn'T- and you say, to her that don't- have to trust him if you trust yourself and now
teach that in class dog prevails, and that was just somebody in the audience to sit up and said that and then this Jim comes out of your mouth. But I feel when I look at the the path that I chose and clear to me now than ever before, but when I look at it, I dont have any kind of regrets about it. I just think at an amazing life J, J and Jordan. All the time will come walk in the That's why they are they the red light, Flash nearly audience in air and staff. Tell em both guys do get ready to go on tour and say you stop look around you are live in the dream, tat both of Jane George. I say: don't let us where's by you so fair, because it's the journey, not the destination, I mean enjoy every step of the way. We absolutely really is
oh you're busy, so I'm going to let you go, but I'm going to tell people where I'm going to put some excerpt from the path made clear on the website that goes with this podcast, so people will know, but they really need to get this book and put it by your bedside and read themselves to sleep at night right. You really need to do. That is think about how many of my books you sold so now, I'm so, and you know what this is a thing. I did this, as I said, for all my girls in what I want to happen. Is people's lives to continued, to be revealed to them by something you read in this book or whatever you used to guide you on your path, but I'm in all my proceeds, whom this book they go to the boys and girls CUP of coffee. Go Mississippi and build the boys and girls club. I think now what thirteen years go down
and they need money to sustain it in some taking all the proceeds and giving it to that for kids grow up. Just like I did run from rural, Mississippi solutions for more shoe lives, not for more shoes I'm gonna, be using it for anything other than help. Another kids, and what a great thing to do is like you grew up dislike. You did, which was not exactly wealthy, not exactly it. May I just say Rural Mississippi is still rural. Mississippi go back and I went back several years ago. People still sit on the same porch in the same beat up rocking chair on the same dirt road. Statistically other day. That said in Rule America and it's worse in the Rural South, the eight percent rule. America has no mental health professional available to them at all, not psychiatrists, not psychologists, low, nothing zero Nata, nothing
so there without so when you have somewhere like boys and girls club where people can go with responsible adults yet to support them by bands. Yes, other not latch key, they get somewhere to go with adult, put her arm round her shoulders so you need to handle? This is worsening, do all the difference in the world. It is up to them to term that's what we're trying to did you do and a good thing here. Thank you thanks for coming over new. In this way, I just want to fill in the blanks. If you filled it applies fine feelings of lies in your party cast out and subscribe for free. So you know Miss episode.
Transcript generated on 2020-01-24.