« Phil in the Blanks

Path To A Purpose

2022-01-04 | 🔗

“As we go into 2022, I want you to go into it saying, ‘I’ve kind of been a passenger in my life. We’re not going to be that way anymore,’" Dr. Phil says on his Phil in the Blanks podcast. “I want you to be you on purpose.”

In the newest episode, Dr. Phil and Dr. Charles Sophy draw a clear connection between optimism and living a longer, healthier life. Learn how to build positivity through neuroplasticity, good habits, getting and giving social support, and attitude monitoring. The doctors also debunk a dangerous myth and offer powerful tools to help you stay calm, present, balanced, and productive throughout the year. http://drphilintheblanks.com/

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sweep s w e e p, sleep work, eating emotional expressions of yourself and play regression isn't always pathologically bad. You ve got to do one thing at a time and stay with it. we'll happy new year. Everybody. This is Doctor Phil, as you know, since you to dinner to doktor, fill and fill in the blanks, and it is twenty twenty so we have a new year lot of people wondering, if we're really in a lot different place than we were this time last year, I'll, let you decide that for yourself this is time where everybody makes new year's resolutions. Look that can be fun, I understand, and if you do it for fun, that's great. But if you do it like most people, do it
ever amounts to much and to be follow me at all. You know I'm not a big fan of New year's resolutions because they don't amount to much by about middle of February. Eighty eight Five percent of the people have abandoned their new year's resolutions because you make him emotionally. We're all fired up on New year's we're gonna get out. There were good you'll lose weight, get a new job go back. School or whatever, but Emily. Oceans fade Emotions are fickle, so we don't really do much about it. Well, When I talk to you about New year's resolutions that we want so we want to set some goals. I've got some part guess out there that talking about how to set goals, how to make a gold. Measurable, how to identify the steps to get to it,
up a timeline, accountability and actually turn ago into something you can attain door talk about that today. What I want to talk about is not what you set up to do, but how you approach it and boil boy. Have I brought in a heavy weight to help me do this because I want to introduce this conversation Doktor Charles Sophie, that doctor so fee is somebody that I admire greatly. He is aboard certified psychiatrist. You ve seen him on the doktor feel show a number of times We tell you why he's there a number of times he's there, because he is damn good at what he does he's aboard. Sir find psychiatrist he's a forum, ethical director, your department, a child and family services here and allay which, by the way, he did for a
or of years until he retired from there, it was the largest agency of its type in the entire United States and his medical dry dear, he worked with families of every sort dealing with kids in helping them fine the best path. To succeed in this life he's board certified in three clinical specialities, actually Adele Psychiatry, child and adolescence country and family practice. He got his medical degree from Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine and he's been in practice for more than thirty five years, so you say my my show you seem on today show the view CNN, MSNBC Dateline, you ve, seen him lie different places, he's at Arthur and as a product of meat, twisting his arm and staying after him. I finally got him to agree to write another book which will be out sometime.
Later this year or early next year. I know you been working on it because I've been eating salmon manuscript is he's got along, so welcome, Doktor Sophie Yasser wants. If you haven't already be sure that you click to subscribe animal, to ask you. But I've been asking you before and added is call at least one person that you care about. And ask them to listen to today's pod gas and will tell you why, I'm Ready was Doktor Charles Selfie to talk about three things that can dramatically change your productivity and your level of success in twenty twenty two. So there's somebody you care about you care about their level of success, Dolby selfish shit.
share this with them, because these are evidence based things that you can do behaviorally mentally emotionally to enhance your productivity and twenty twenty two so call at least one person and get them to listen to today's podcast it'll be a gift that you give them. It is free. Legs back to fill in the black sea is your second time to be on fill in the blanks right. Yes, it is thank you happy new year we'll happy new year to you. I don't know how many times you been on doktor failed. You too, like not enough for me yeah well, certainly not for us. I could tell you for sure, because we get so much great feedback whenever you're on a shell, because your straight, you tell things where people can understand.
Then you really demystify a lot about Psycho Tropic medications and things that people really don't understand. So thank you for all you do for us. I thank you for the opportunity to be able to do it. I appreciate Well, you just heard what I was saddened to folks are listening, There are so many articles, written sway people talk about new. Here's resolutions- and I don't want to talk about those thanks, but I do want to talk about how people go about what they go about in this year of twenty twenty two being in quarantine, has had a big impact on folks, mentally emotionally physically and for them most part, and I won't say totally, but for the most part it has not been a positive impact. Would you agree? I would agree a hundred percent and I think it's because
people didn't take this time that they really could have been isolated and more in a within their own life and take inventory and shake things up. They fell apart and they were dealing with demons inside that they didn't have the tools to deal with him. Either they use outside tools have now let them too bad places, or they just have been stuff and now they're afraid to even leave their home. So yeah, I would agree do you think people have because of quarantine and, as a result, people's orbit their world has. gotten smaller because, of course, being at home, even working from home people have become. it seems to me they stay closer to home base. I ve been out there less and I think what people used to take for granted if this normal activities seems to be intimidating now, when I think about getting back out,
Therefore, some people have you seen more anxiety, stress, depression in people in your price To in the hospital yap, slowly emulated Instead of seeing this as a positive experience where you're orbit, as you say, a smaller is more manageable. So now is the time to really reorganise reply, organise and be we move forward with things by people I do not share their falling apart from the overwhelming anxiety of not having ever a structure that their usual and they're not upon their feet and their falling apart and they are afraid to leave their homes, neither of their overwhelmed with their right their anxiety and is now still exist their children. Don't wanna leave home go to school, everybody was using little nest, they didn't use it for the best options. You thought about this, a lot of us. to people about it loud as well, and I want to say to everybody: that's listening. If we're driving, you were somebody, you know,
I want to really encourage people to be patient with yourselves because I understand nobody asked for this, and this is certainly nothing I've ever experienced in my life and I've been around while an avenue, We're experienced anything like this, so I hope, as we talk about this, I don't want people to think that I'm being critical or judge mental, as opposed to just being descriptive because I'm always people believes you can't change what you don't acknowledge, so obvious warning to acknowledge the fact that we had this court teen forced on us whether you believe that it was the right thing to do or not it is the reality of what happened. So there has been fall out from at least be patient with ourselves about that, and we need to experience some forgiveness
for ourselves. If we're not behaving the way we wish, we should our children if their saving a little timid and maybe they ve regressed. Sir and by regression I mean maybe their functioning. The they were at a little bit younger age, one or two years younger than what they were before you're sick. Habits that maybe you saw when they were a greater to ya. Starting to pop backup will look, let's be patient. We can close this gap. If will just have some forgiveness and impatience in our hearts, but at same time, let's require ourselves and our children and each other to step up and get back out there and do the things that we need to do. I do think we can have some forgiveness patient with ourselves, because there has been some regression with adults with children.
Why is that a fair terms to say regression? Yes, I think it is very fair because people have gone backwards and it's not necessarily meaning is about thing, as we know, a lot of psychological theory show that regression back to a safer place. Emotionally is where people go with their any right like a problem so regression isn't always pathologically bad thing. It sometimes a safety mechanism for your brain did Henry Group.
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playing trivia star, because, unlike the challenge and it test, my trivia, knowledge and trivia star- has thousands of five star reviews and the apple store, and is the number one trivia game on the app store so downloaded today to challenge yourselves see if your memories really as good as you think it is just to the Apple or Google store and search for trivial star down I'll drive you star for free today and get ready to flex your brain muscles. Yes, I did more talk about Resolutions where I want to talk about was the way people do what they do and here's one of the things. I want to talk about, and that is, I think, everybody approach. this life with a certain attitude, and when we talk about optimism or happiness. I think a lot of people think that when you have success that we get happy about that. We're always happy when we
seed and, of course, that's true. I think people should be happy when they succeed but looking at a lotta research and Randal. You- and I have both looked at this because we ve looked at it together, I will tell the listeners and viewers what we're talking about. There was a huge studied. This was matter analysis and it was done Of two hundred and twenty five academic studies and what we're talking about Some researchers, one was Sonya LAB amiss. Key and that's l, why you be? Oh, am I r s K eyes so on a butcher, the name and we'll put that on the website. So you can. Read some of these things yourself Lie you vermeer ski king and dna strong evidence that there was a real.
The reality between life satisfaction and success, meaning that if you get happy you have a good attitude of approach. If you have some optimism that It leads to more success in your undertakings, though they focused on business outcomes. there's other research that suggest across the board that if you have a good attitude in the things that you approach that it recedes success, not just vice versa. That happier people more. mystic people enjoy more success. It's not just genetics. It's not just environment that there's neural. Ass diversity in the brain where it requires itself, and we tend to be more successful comment on that. Little bit Well, I mean I agree with that, and I think that we also have to let people know that, despite the fact that they started out, maybe with a rough beginning, work, dramatic life experience as a young
child or domestic violence or whatever was abuse of some sort. You can still overcome that in changing shift your attitude in your happiness, Edward. Nor of us, you just need to really addressed some of those issues and not to plug my new book. But that's what my book is basically telling people you can redo whatever there is that you're not like in life: you're not stop with whatever you can redo it and yes nor plasticity works people get happy when there are happier there more successful and all of that convention It's up to you, it's rather too. Well. I think that's a big thing that I want to emphasize here, and there is an author name. Sean occur, I see a war that wrote a book called big potential and he talks about this a lot and I highly recommend a book. I've read it. It's really good.
He talks about this study actually as part of that book and he talks about what I've talked about for years, and that is that when you come into any relationship what you bring with you, either contaminates or contributes to that relationship. All your learning history, all of your attitude, all of your beliefs, all of the things that you have learned and define who you are it either contributes to or contaminates that relationship and that's true in life. general. What we see is that if you develop new habits, you, maybe you ve been someone. It's kind of a nicer maybe you see a snake under every rock, maybe you're, one of those people that comes in just expecting bad things to happen in the self fulfilling prophecy takes place
well. The flip side of that is true, because the brain is very adaptable and that's why we call it neuro plasticity. If you do our new habits. The brain actually requires itself, and so how do you do this? If you say? Ok, you don't feel you got me at attend a little bit of a negative attitude am now Polly and the other way, I'm a so how Why change that? Will you be here save your way to success in this some ways. You can do that behaviorally, and this is what I'm talking about. I wanted very specific about what you can do on a day to day basis, for example, if you reach, of every day that you are going to acknowledge some good things.
Your life. You seven exercise where I had people make a sixty five item blessing list. They just had to sit down and ride out sixty five things that they consider to be blessings in their lives, and it is forced them to acknowledge the good things. it's important that when you acknowledge good things in your life that you write them down if you'd that, every day, every day for three weeks, you just write down five things that you acknowledge your positives, in your life. It changes the way you go through this world. Let's say, for example, you write down five things that your rightful for. Maybe you resolve that every day you're going to find three people in your life that you
parliament, maybe they're coworkers, maybe their parents at the school, where your children go to school. Maybe it's your spouse, your partner, someone, but some time during the day pick three three people that you're going to complement, you're gonna find something positive to say where you're engaging people in a positive way? I'm telling you your brow It will start Rewiring itself where you have a more positive attitude in your life and I'm warning people to start twenty. Twenty two with some of these positive that's because it leads to a higher degree of success and that surely happens. Bio chemically doktor talk about that little bit because I have always said for every thought: we have there's a physiological coral it when people think positive thing,
physical things happened inside their body. Absolutely late. Just take the example of riding on a roller coaster, when your brain is going up through that you're scared and you get physical feelings associated with that, when you're, fearful of something you get physical feelings associated with the fear of shifting the brain chemicals that are allowing you to feel and now you're fearful, so you feel it what is your brain, your body, always there, always in sync, so if you're going smile and write down five things at your grateful for three people. You're gonna compliment. A smile on their face after complement them. That then translate into something visible, as well as something chemical in your brain. So it goes without saying their hand in hand. They are and an end, and the other thing that I worry about. Sometimes is what I call face validity if something lacks face validity that me
That somebody will look at a solution, you have given them and if it lacks face validity they go near. I believe that's really gonna be effective because just on its face, it just doesn't look valid, unlike oftentimes, for example, you can tell people it would really help you. If you took ten minutes. Twice a day to go through relaxation exercises that would help you immensely in your disease management. They'll poop that their governing you know. I'd give me a prescription, give me some big machine to use or something because this relaxing for ten minutes twice a day That lacks face validity. It does. It seem significant enough for Meda there s a lot of faith in
and so they'll toss it when in fact it could be one of the most powerful things they could do, but because it doesn't on its face, seem very powerful. They will dismissed. And what I want to make sure we do this conversation we're having Doktor Sophie is for people understand we're gonna talk about three different categories during this conversation that you and I are having that can have a problem around. A fact On how productive, how intellectually efficient, Belarus going into twenty twenty two. This can be the difference between whether they are successful or not successful, whether they come out on top or there and also ran this could be one of the most important part
ass that we do all your long. If people give this, validity and understand it because we are saying here that, if you go at thing, with a positive attitude. I must say and be in some pie in the sky. Pollyanna, but with a positive, realistic attitude, it can be outcome, determinative a hundred percent agri. Yes, one of the things that there's a lot of research on is being socially active and I'm talking about receiving social support and giving social support. For example, let's say you are a career person. if you are socially active. You support co workers, meaning you engage them. Maybe you ve finished your work and they ve got things going on yet that they haven't finished
and you step across the island say: hey. Can I help in some way? Is there something I can do you engage people? You become an active supporter, the that is so important that it acts the core with longevity as much as exercise. Just the fact that you become socially active, socially engaged has as much do with how long you live as well. not. You exercise. An low social support has as much to do with longevity, it can be as bad as having high blood pressure that's how important this is. If you have a positive attitude and you in gay other people one of the ways this developing these habits, is to become:
socially engaged person, then it has The profound effect even physically, not just on your attitude but physically, and I've heard you talk about the fact that this correlates with happiness that people experience while their under stress, because they don't feel alone talk about that for a second, I mean absolutely because if you use the example you just gave of reaching across the aisles your homework the amount of happiness. Tat comes for everybody and the amount of positive outcomes for everybody, both people and that interaction is amazing. You're giving and that's a positive thing. You feel good because your useful your help somebody, you see the smile and the police on their face in the gratitude they get back to you, something isn't it interchange of exchange That is positive and every level. And that brings hope
is happiness. Brings longevity longevity bring success in all feeds on itself is circular. Isn't it all goes together? and there's a study that I, add in the literature and It was also insurance book. Big potential worried about social support during stress. I think this within Sean spoke as well, and I read the study there There's a point: seven one correlation with happiness. If you have social support win, you're in high stress situations. Because you don't feel wound so there's a point. Seven one correlation with stress now. Is that significant? Well, let me put that in context for you there Point three: seven correlation between smoking in cancer, a point three:
seven correlation between smoking and cancer and appoint seven one correlation between in social support and happiness when you're going They were high stress situation. That's how important it is that you be so socially active, and so surely engaged is a hundred percent right. I mean because You're doing is giving your brain literally a chemical break from the negative. Ass in your shooting in some positive idiots and chemical shifts in the opposite direction, you're gonna feel better, physically and emotionally with long term. Alpha, that's important for you, health, is important for your mental health. But let me tell you it
he's off in other ways as well in I'm talking not only about receiving social support, but I'm talking about what doktor selfie mentioned about giving social support. I want you to say some more about that. Why is giving so important for people's happiness and relieving stress and pressure for people to give to others, because in general. people feel if they don't feel their useful and that they have a role in life where their own life were the role and somebody else's like You don't have usefulness, you dont have a purpose really and that's the core of a depression and that's the course or self esteem self value, all that stuff, so you're able to give the someone, even if it's a shame, handshake much less a hub or help them with their work. That's a positive effect so many levels for yourself, because you feel it
useful at the end of the day and useful equals purpose equals happiness, equals self esteem. I'm so glad you said that as what we learn about ourselves. The same way we learn about other people right, we watch what we do. That's why we learn bout, somebody that works with us, for example, if we watched him every day there, the first one there they unlocked the door, they turn on the lights, they're, always there there always getting everything going and we know if we work two hundred days in a row and their there two hundred days. First, then we make an attribution them. We say this person is dependable, their reliable their resourceful. We make those attributions today.
based on what we observe them, do that's how we make attributions to ourselves and that's what you're talking about if you observe yourself being useful in other people's lives than you make the attribution to yourself, I have value people value me. They trust me. They look to me and so myself worth goes up because I observed myself being a value, do other people, and so our self worth goes up and we feel better Bout our existence about that existential question of what's the point: why are we going through this live? Well we're going through the life because we're impacting other people, it matter If we are not here exactly that's why people that are depressed and isolate themselves and withdraw from the society in themselves in their life, and the real treatment is too jumped back into it. That
we J how this pays off. the initiators are ten times more likely to be engaged at work. So if you, Somebody that reaches across the aisle you're, someone that engages other there's at school, or other dad's in the neighbourhood or whatever year, ten times more lie please to be engaged for them to interact with you and if we're talking about Work situation. People that are socially active are forty per more likely to be promoted, as a matter. What level weathered entry Will employ whether a mid level employer, whether you're an executive you're, forty percent more likely to be promoted, you are a socially engaging individual. You have a well, that's almost path: you're, forty percent more
likely to get a promotion. So that's why I'm saying that what we are talking about here can have a big impact on how you're twenty Twond goes, it lowers your stress levels, lowers your cortisol, it lowers everything that goes with stress and stress. Does always have to be negative and he's lost his now Angie and caring for your home just got easier, whether you need help with routine maintenance or a dreamer model, and you makes it easy to see reviews, compare, quotes and connect with top local prose. Who can get the job done right plus, you can see upfront pricing and instantly book hundreds of projects, no phone tat, just the work indeed done at a time that works for you and you got your to do list covered from start to finish. Look your next home project today, Anti Dotcom, that's a Angie! I dot com
everyone. I want you to check out Robins podcast. I've got a secret Robin Mcgraw with guest curve model and ceo of confidence. Ella police Ella gives the secret squad herself care tips and offers inspiration to anyone struggling with body image issues Robin and Ellen talk about how the love yourself through illness, hormone changes in pregnancy, forming a variable support system for all listeners. I'm gonna play you clear, but I've got a secret robin raw. Why your listing be sure to subscribe, follow and listen on Apple podcast, Spotify, or how ever your listing now the thing is, I was like thirty pounds lighter and I wasn't happy and I was restricting myself. Oh maybe I'll do gluten. Free may well do this, you know. Well, if I there is an urgent need this tonight, and I just let me know, food and all that control me, and I think it's not about the diet. It's not about how you look.
times I'd way, myself take a photon wait till I lost the way like it's just unless the amount of photos I used to have a before and after which have the timid and reach the act like you know, and it's like I was happy, so I think once you realize that that happiness will not come from the way and it's not linked to it- that's right, yeah. Sadly, sometimes it's like the way we look on the outside determines how we feel on the inside and that should really be the other way. Total. here we talk about stress, sometimes as though It's always a negative thing, but it can be a motivator. It's the steel that sharpens your blade ill very seldom. And I'm not saying never, but very seldom do we grow during our time off, work where because you'd basis,
I sell worthless. I can get you give me a few days or face like a hazard on Iraq. Agonies Ghana hang out, but it's weird were in those times that script just that. Try us that require us to rise to the challenge. Those are the times that we grow, that we manage situations and stress can be negative and oftentimes it is. It Creates problems horse bitterly mentally physically emotionally and otherwise, but it can also your motivator and if you ve thank you in a real high stress situation. Choose a few of those things that you can control your job your relationship, find answers.
Maybe your overall health don't focus on the things you can't control like the weather or other people or the stock market, or whatever don't focus on stressors that you, Don't have any input to focus on the ones you do have input to and see what you can do to ratchet those things down some, so you again observe yourself having some mastery over what it is that is creating stress in your life and learn that you have the ability to change those things. People learn
what they can control of what they can't by watching what they do, and we do have the ability to handle the stress in our lives. We can't distress correct I'll, absolutely in any one of the big things I tell people is to use an demonic that I put together call sweep and those are the five things that they can control and should control in their life and the life of their children from their sleep to the way they work towards eating how they deal with their emotions, what they do for fun and how they interact in Tibet, relationship or whatever they have to do with their romantic life. But those areas are controllable and those will bring you a mastery feeling that you have control but also happiness, because you feel you can control them. Plus you can drove him. To make you happy, I will list, go through your demonic. The first one asked you sleep. Yes, the quality and quantity is that you fall asleep. You stay. Sleep is a good sleep when you're waken up how important new sleep well
vital it's it's. Our energy is our way for our body in our brain to recharge and if it's not good, quality, sleep and you're, not down long enough and you're, not down in a good quality. Wait you're, not gonna, wake up in a good quality way. You ve been a field, exhausted, for your Dave and begins, and then you have no tolerance for life and you feel dejected. You're not gonna want to reach plus the aisle you're. Not gonna wants me to give you a handshake, you're, just gonna, isolate yourself and is the beginning of a shutdown sweep S. W e g peak sleep work, eating emotional expressions of yourself in play poker. The last one is play. Yes, that's really important right place,
important for people to set aside time, yes to get out of harness and do something they really enjoy, and they should be doing things with others, as well as by themselves, because Hobbes or a great self soothing tool to have when you're, in a time of stress, to suit yourself and their fun, and they should be things you can do alone as well thanks for sure, and it s really important and will list that went out on the site for everybody as well so, in summary, what we're talking about here is that you go in this year Actively monitoring and managing your attitude and really ask yourself. Are you a negative person? Are you fatalistic? Do you go into something deciding you know this isn't going to work out? I do you know I'm not going to be happy, I'm going to be a victim things aren't gonna be the way I want him to be, and if that's the way you look at things, that's probably
Oh it's gonna turn out. Now, I'm not asking you to be so pollyanna saying if you have a point, positive attitude and if you be Hey if, in a positive way, kicker socially engaging other people and you chain your internal dialogue. The things that you're saying to yourself the chance View succeeding in what ever you undertake personal life relation ship wise, career wise, your chance of succeeding, going to go up dramatically, so you ve got to decide Your attitude of approaches- and what you're gonna do to change it, and I gave you three or four things you can do to behave your way to sit, Yes and give your brain a chance to rewire itself by having positive habits
and when you do the habits your brain will require itself now want to shift gears. I want to talk about what I think is a huge myth. This is a big one, because if I can get you to stop doing get right to talk about? You could increase year productivity about forty percent, now think about that. I don't know what your level of productivity was last year, but if you could increase it, forty percent, how much difference would that make in your life in terms your relationship, your earnings? Your quality alive Forty percent is not nothing. That's
hell of a lot of what is- and I want you to quit- do it. I want you to stop multitasking the others. Did this before. But I want to take some time to talk about it. and what do I mean by multitasking? Well, one way to multitask is trying to do two things at once. There could be a simple is watching your favorite tv show, while you're filling out some reports you have to do it can be your kid. Why? King tv, while they're trying to do their homework or listening to music or talking on the phone to a friend while they're doing their homework, doing two things simultaneously, Another way to multi task is to switch between task before either worms done you do at a and b an you switch from a to b, Before a is done, you switch to be before being done. You switch back
Before I done, you switch back to be or three is doing who or more things in rapid succession where it is: bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, bang you're gone so fast from one thing too. Other that you never really get something wrapped up. now here's the reality. Ninety eight percent of us do not multi task effectively. Ninety eight percent of us do not multi task effectively. actually less than two percent of us are effective. Multi taskforce, I want you to assume that two percent eight you.
I want you to do- is to serve you are not among the two percent, and research tells us that people hugely over. ass to made their ability to multi task. They they go yeah. Ok, I got your multitasking start for everybody, but I have the. Building a do. I can keep a lotta balls in the mud, do mothers, people and no? No, you don't do it effectively. And this is such a myth in our society that job descriptions actually call for it. They say you got to have this trainee got to have this credential? You got to have this experience. You have to have good people skills and you have to be good at multitasking.
No, you don't because nobody is good at multitasking. Ninety eight percent of the people are good multitasking, whose riding these job descriptions. Where did I go to school, you shouldn't be asking people on job descriptions of your good multitasking as a requirement to get the job, because that lets out ninety eight percent of the people. What is it Doctor Sophie that makes people think that's the best way to go through life is trying to keep all tin balls and near one time and stood at handling. One ball, then putting it down and pick it up number to think it. Several things in one is, I think, the myth that people think if they're moving it quick manner, as you said and they're doing one thing after another: they're not even checking to see if it effectively task and pleaded as she said,
they're gone backwards and forwards, and just spinning between task that don't get completed besides. Moving at that high re state they're getting a false sense of completion and are really not completing it they end up in burn out because their exhausted from everything in at the end of the day you burned out with nothing really completed, and so I think it's a myth that they think they're moving fast there accomplishing, but really the end of the day. You're. Not do you think that people do this because it may and feel important because it makes them feel like all of you so busy. I have so much to do. I have so many things going on. I must be the most important person in the room. I think it's that, and I also think it is people as we talk about earlier, a sense of mastery and control over something and they think of it, the more they can control than war. They do the more they can control, but at the end of the day, you not controlling anything, because nothing is being done except your standing in
in place, well you're running in place because look in order for us to come. Lay the task we have to said ago. We have to address- defy the information we need to achieve it. We have to disregard irrelevant distractions, and then we have to move forward towards completion, that's a forced out process, If you're trying to do that on five different things come on no way in hell that you ve, set I've, girls identified the information needed to achieve the locked out, all the irrelevant distractions for all four. of those different things you're pursuing and identify the necessary action plan to get to each one in our effectively executing it the way you do that, because I tell you right now. The other four
already interfering with the one that you're trying to work on in the moment, so just by definition, you're not doing exactly us, your assuming there's nothing to be any barrier that comes up that derails you from even leading one that much less all final, so you can predict that nothing can happen either. Of course not an, ok how the brain works here- and you know this is my area. This is whereof focus most of my training and what I focused on in my practice is how the brain actually works. And this involves multitasking Rico. Meijer's the brain to refocus and that cost time there are task switch cost and
there's goal shifting so you're deciding to do one thing, instead of the other and when you're changing from the rules from one previous task to the rules of the new task, the brains having to accommodate to all lives and its having to refocus and all that time your spent refocusing reduces pro Tivoli, forty percent. So if you got somebody out there, this hell they're really great they their great at multitasking. They can run sales Florian therein here doing this, and do that doing it not oh, no! No, no Larry, using productivity, forty percent and if you are living under the myth of multitasking, then your wife working with less than all
your mental capacity by forty percent? Think about this, What are you the average iq? Let's say a hundred points, if you reduce that pro, Tivoli by forty percent there now functioning with an iq of sixty, is that what you want is that who you want taking care of your children is that who you want representing you with your customers? Is that who you want driving your kids to school. If you ve got a baby sitter and their drive in your kids to school, but their multitasking, that's why they say: dough text, DR that's a coup air example of multitasking, you can't
Dr an automobile at three thousand pounds fifty miles an hour while you're looking for the tea on your keyboard. while you're reading attacks, that's multitasking Errors go up. Mistakes, go up things, just don't go smoothly, think about texting and driving. That is the perfect example of multitasking and why it doesn't work by me. Multitasking does not come without I ass a then also low productivity, so it's a lose lose on all levels of people. Don't think that doesn't feel that later also, let me tell you what research tells us who tend to multitask these tend to be approach, oriented
reward, focused people, they consider the possible benefits of multitasking and their attracted to the higher potential rewards. They think it will get them. Their high sensation seekers, they need constant stimulation, they think all this lot of variety, if I'm a multi tasker their people that are convince their part of the two percent and, like I said less this degree, we a part of that two percent, I'm not your, not an their people that tend to have trouble, focusing. They have trouble sticking with something in saying it through to the end think about talking to your children. Maybe you get your teenager in there and you want to talk to them about Things going on at the house or what you expect from them if they go out with friends and why
you're talking to them. They got there cell phone in their hand and their texting. or their reading, an email or they're on their laptop play, a video game. How much do you think they're paying attention to you. And how much retention d you think they're going to have it? you're doing all that, while you're talking to them, in addition to being terribly disrespectful. There's no way in hell that their absorbing encoding, retaining everything that you're telling them and Neither are you if you go into a meeting and yours thing, their reading, attacks or answers. Uploaded hang on this case be eliminated, as the ministers will mean, there's no, no! No! That doesn't work.
And I dont know why we have gotten into this habit of thinking that we can keep ten Bosnia at one time, because we simply cannot end. It reduces your productivity, forty percent. If somebody Kennedy and said I could increase your cognitive functioning, forty percent, I can increase your productivity, forty percent, would you like to do that? You would say of course: well that's what we're Tellin you right now the list and one thing at a time, and you feel so much better and outcomes of me so much higher elevated. So let me tell you how to do this. Your first off it we're talking about in your home or we're talking about in your work environment, be a role model set up boundaries, crew a culture in your home in your marriage in your workplace.
being in the moment, one hundred percent you ve got to settle that culture as a say, whether its at home, where work set up the culture of say, look This is gonna, be a short meeting and requirement. I'm turning my cell phone off your turning your cell phone off this baby can last for thirty minutes. Everybody whither cell phone on or it can last ten minutes? nobody with their cell phone on so we're all gonna leave our cell phones in the other room or we're going to turn him off and we're going to be present in the moment. One hundred percent, while we're here- and this requires mindfulness- it really does. We are a clear
Bates society. Where we go online and look up something and there's click bait down there. We click on it and we go down the rabbit hull and were seventeen minutes into the mission and realize we haven't looked up the recipe we haven't answered the town from our daughter whereby seventeen minutes into the mission- and we have it that a damn thing we got rate, do you ve got to decide. You are going to stop multitasking. either record the tv show and watch it later or why shit now and do your work later, but you cannot do both. and if you tell yourself you can you do simply don't have the mental bandwidth to do it. I don't you don't we doubt we just need to be very clear about that.
and this is one of those things that like having a good attitude of approach, you just have to decide hey, This may not have a lot of face validity, but I'm going to do it in twenty twenty two, I'm gonna practice mindfulness, I'm going to come present in the moment, I'm going to focus on what I'm doing and when you do, up romish you you're going to achieve what is called a state of flow and the data flow is when you get into a subject enough that you greater peak efficiency on that subject matter, and that generally takes at least fifteen minutes for your brain to get focus for your brain to get alive alive and for everything to be shut out, and you get into peak efficiency of problem solving.
whatever it is, is required to deal with that subject matter. It takes fifteen minutes to come into full focus and Other everything you need together in order to properly deal with that subject matter If your switching back and forth, you start over again at ground zero. Every time you come back to the task, if you want to into a state of flow. You ve got to do one thing at a time and stay with it. There is no substitute now Doktor Sophie, what do we need to say to people for them to get how important it is to lead
brain function, the way it works. Well, I think it's important for people to understand that they want to use labels and they want to say maybe they have add or they of ADHD, which are all you know, components of impulsivity poured. You know, distractibility low concentration, lack of task completion. All of the things were talking about, doesn't matter. If it's a label, it doesn't necessarily mean medicine has to work, because even the patient that I treat with medicine still need to do all the other things that were talking about. You have to have self discipline, you have to train your brain, you have to do it because otherwise it is going to be scattered all over the place with low productivity. It's something we all have to accept about ourselves, no matter what, whether that lack of focus is driven by anxiety or frontal, lobe dysregulation or it's just who you are, you still have to get a handle on it in the only way to get a handle on it is to do the things were talking about.
But let me say one more thing about this. You may have heard me talk about this in the past and what I haven't talked about is this make a priority list, and this is probably going to change day to day. The set up your priorities, one through five, one through seven, whatever it is an if at any time during the day, you find yourself working on something other than number one. Stop what you're doing. And go back to number one or it shouldn't be number one. I'm gonna? Tell you why? I say that it's not just me. Because that's in the number one slot and therefore you should focus on it. We have a certain degree of bandwidth reserve. If I come back to my desk,
my getting ready to work on the show that I want to do tomorrow and I get back here. an answer, fifteen emails and ride out five or six and read two articles then say. Ok, that's got it nerves enough. I'm gonna get down to one came back here to do that's foolish on my part, because I have depleted my cognitive reserves by the time I get to reason I came back here to begin with. What I should do is come back here and began with my number one priority and once that's done then take some time to do the little knit noise, the emails, the Click Bates, the articles, whatever
but do the most important thing, while you have the biggest reserve of bandwidth available because your draining it away with all of those things. If you do before you get to watch, you sat down to do, and that is also important to understand for people that, at the end of the day, low productivity task distraction, lack of task completion multitasking. All of that leads to poor self esteem. You don't feel good about yourself where your purpose, if you're not producing and you're not producing, is best as you can I think this very important again you're watching yourself and if your letting yourself get chip chip, chipped away with
the miscellany of this click bait world. Then we never are going to be at peak efficiency, and we want to observe ourselves being at peak efficiency. Now I say there were three things that we were going to talk about, that we're gonna greatly enhance your functioning in twenty twenty two. I said I didn't care. What it was you ruin I just want to be sure that whatever was that, you were going to do it with peak efficiency and the third, Thing that doctor sophie- and I want to talk about- is I call mine clutter and When I say mine clutter, I mean how much distraction.
Is in your environment internally and externally, your physical environment, your appointment book, your inbox, all the unfinished emotional business you ve got in your head.
there's something called the clutter effect and it affects your life. Satisfaction, your physical health, your cognitive efficiency and doktor Sophie. Isn't it true that the brain, particularly the executive function in the NEO cortex of the brain likes order? It likes everything in its place and a place for everything and anything disrupt set, creates anxiety, yes and the higher rate of multitasking. That's done a higher rate of clutter. There is, and vice versa and their adversary inversely proportional to each other, so one feeds off the other and both are gonna, be detrimental to you as a human being overall. Well, the degree of visual distraction in people's lives. If they come
home and the kitchen is cluttered cabinet doors can't be closed because of receipts and bills. Hanging out it increases costs, leave overload. It increases cortisol levels, which is cattle a low level of the fight or flight response, maybe you ve lived. in the same house for thirty years, ok though? In thirty years? Look we accumulate things and there things value. I understand that raw been married for forty five years and across forty five years, we have accumulated things, there's no question about it, but if that creates clutter, And chaos, it changes your life world. It changes the way your mind.
Experiences, you're environment and it can actually create physical pain, It can create low subjective, well being even those that have a clue Chaotic environment are seven: seven percent more likely to be overweight, because. They have a chaotic environment, they have a chaotic diet, chaotic eating patterns and with horror. yours, which is the extreme level of clutter and mine, clutter if you do, what's called an F Mri, a functional mri. There are poor of their brain: better activated this.
Aim as if somebody hits their thumb with a hammer, its painful for them to live in that chaos and live in that clutter. Now, that's the extreme! That's where the harder Doktor Sophie that in these are people that you see these people- and you think, oh, my god, how can they live this way? Why would they want that? They don't want, if its painful to them to live that way, very painful, psychologically hateful? Yes, it's like. I tell people oftentimes that kind of clutter walking into your at the end of the day you think you're at home, and it's going to be a safe, nice enjoyable place, and if you walk into a cluttered kitchen, as you say, it's as well as you throwing everything in your hands up in the air, that's what your brain is doing when it hits a room like that, it becomes increasingly upside down its scrambles itself. Basically, and it's chaos all the time and that's what you been into a psychological and physical
smoke, which is really not gonna equally for productivity both to researchers at Cordell, cutting it Armstrong did a research project where they said people that live in this kind of. Cluttered environment are sufficient at visual processing and, by extension, This hurts relationships because they're so distracted by the environment, that they don't. We the Rome very? Well hell, don't read their partners face very well. They don't pick up on subtle clues because they get ass to the sea of inertia, so relationships get damaged, they have a much poorer mental health. They have less efficient thinking. So what I'm telling you is
If you're, in a situation like this look around you right now, if you're listening Doktor Sophia thy at home, take a minute and look around. What's the environment look like around you Is it orderly, is it tranquil or is it cluttered, overcrowded and chaotic, and if its cluttered, overcrowded and chaotic This is hurting you, it can't hurt you mentally among.
Finally and Cognitive Lee your brain likes order and you won't function nearly as well. In that kind of. Out of control environment, as you would, if everything was ordered, an not crowded where you had the ability to scan the Rome and it was kind of peaceful and open spaces, and it doesn't matter if you live in a small apartment or a big house. The question is: what's the density and how much clutter is there now doktor selfie? Let's talk about an cluttering the mind from
Yo you gave assured mnemonic my. How important is it for people to uncluttered their mind to get that quality sleep you were talking about. The US is a very important thing that people just never really learn a most. People should have learned it as a child. what's an infant where they learn to self soothe in their crib and put themselves to sleep or, however, they were put to sleep and those are the beginnings in the seedlings of self soothing and that should translate as you grow through your life learning how to self soothe yourself. That's why, in my pneumonic, I put play hobbies under there because you fly to learn how to soothe yourself a different time to unclutter your mind and unravel it, so that it can be a piece and if you don't know how to do that, Yourself, that's the biggest. Give you give yourself to learn how to self. If somebody's going to bed at night or they wake up in El the night and their mind is racing because they gotta
vanished emotional business, because they- these things race and around in their head, how important is it to write things down, even in the middle of the night, where they get him on a piece of paper so later feel like they have to think about em. Long does that help a hundred percent is the very fact of dictating to your phone. Getting it out of your mind in your body. Enjoy physical place. That's outside of you is just the act of doing that is a hundred percent helpful, much less, actually turning your brain down and because you feel You ve gotten control over those issues because there now contained somewhere else and you know even a deal with the net and that's very self soothing. So all the self soothing tools you can have it by the better. That's a toolbox. It needs to be at your fingertips, I can tell you for me the sometimes I wake up in our notice
In a dream, or my mind is right sing or whatever, but I'll have something In my head, or maybe multiple things in my head and I worry that I'm going to forget them. if they're so important, and why would I forget them, but That's in my mind, and I have a pad next to my bed, finally, if I just something down where I don't have to worry about forgetting them, then I give myself permission to say: ok, I don't have to keep thinking about Guess I don't have to repeat it over and over in my head. Then it really helps me. Let go of it and go right to sleep now. You say dictate it into your phone. I don't think Robin would want me to dictate in the middle of the night. So that's why I write it down.
the sheets of those are what the hell are you doing that and you have another very track. Oh yes, I'm getting at the physical like getting out of you and into a place that you feel is contained to bring your attention to the next day, allows you to permission to say, I'd, look up and that self soothing and that's what we need to be able to do. My boy still tease me today. because I used to tell em when they were in middle school and stuff I'd say I look we're gonna. Do you Homework Unita Big clean. space without any distractions eat a good light. Had plenty of paper and did so they do it. They use thing I'll come on with this early. Do a therapy on me here. They degrade impressions of me tell them that, but I would commanded.
Phoenicia the problem, they added a quarter inch on the bottom of the page or serve as a commodity papers cheap, but get a clean das get good lie, don't have clutter you'll get through with your homework and a third. The time, if revealed just get rid of all the distractions, get a good space to work and do this and they became adherence to it. They decide. You know what I'm through with this in a third the time before I did it. Before I gotta clean space and no clutter and no distraction, and they became believers because they wanted out there as fast as I could get it. I'm telling you you're, cognitive efficiency goes up. If you will de clutter your mind, so we ve talked about three things. We ve talked about a great attitude. And really you social engagement. That is just
so important, and I hope everybody will really embrace that because I think it's critically important. We ve talked about the myth of multitasking get rid of that simply don't do it. You can increase your productivity, forty percent and we ve talked about cleaning up the clutter in your mind and your environment, and it can make a huge difference in your trip through twenty twenty two. I truly hope people will say. Look I want to take this week. I'm gonna really work on that. Get that in a position now repeat your pneumatic one last time for a sweep sweep S. W e t sleep work for children at school, eating emotional expressions of yours
internet relationships and play which is Hobbes, and then she do those right and we will have their on the website where people can look at it and grab it. Have a few questions for you here right at the end, doktor selfie. If you were king of the forest, what would your top three, priorities be going forward into two thousand and twenty two for this world. What would you want to do? I would probably the great question I would probably want people to really regulate their life, and what I would tell them to do is follow that pneumonic as best as they can, because those five areas are critical to existence for themselves as individuals, their children, their families their home. The second thing I would tell people to do is do a better balance. When they're living through life make
decisions so that they are fifty percent coming from your heart and fifty percent from your head, not to have it on a balance, because if you have to illogical to logical of a basis you're not going to incorporate enough emotion to give too much emotion, you're not going to have enough lodging, I think that's a critical thing for people have a fifty fifty balance, and I think the third thing I would say is make sure that you have a path that you're following this leading to you feeling you have a purpose. So many people don't have a path and then don't have a purpose and there's no value in their life and they don't value. after that sad because their productive with human beings would have a better after the better boy? I love that. I love that. Third, when having pass through a purpose, is critically important people self worth.
If you could arrange one thing that happened in the last year. What would it be? But I would a race is probably the equality because I think unfortunately had so many negative impacts on so many people, especially children, that it has set them back, but hopefully we can overcome that with the kinds of it. I said I'd ask you: if there was one thing you could ensure that would happen in the next year. One thing you can guarantee this gonna happen. What would it be? You could have better self esteem and that's a guarantee if you just do the things that are supposed to be there, which presents a better life, better life experience Dark yourself, selfie, it's been an honour and privilege to have you discuss these three areas with me. It's this been critically important and I really hope everybody embraces a say.
and if they have questions to clarify these things, they'll get em too Listen, I'm gonna want to answer my hope, you'll pop back on to help answer the questions that people have. If they have them, I'm always hear what I look forward to seeing you on doktor feel very soon aunt. You thank you. Thank you. Much about ok, guys We will be talking to you next week and again: there'll be notes on the website. and let's use these three things to make twenty twenty two, the most productive here you ve had I'll talk to you.
Transcript generated on 2022-01-05.