« Phil in the Blanks

Strategies for Success: Living in the Age of COVID-19

2020-03-31 | 🔗

The coronavirus outbreak continues and with it comes an increase in stress, pressure and uncertainty. Dr. Phil discusses ways to manage social distancing. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey you guys know my wife, Robin Mcgraw has Robin Mcgraw Revelation, which is a great skin care products, and what of hers is called. Let there be bright. This is a triple action, brightening serum it brightens a complexion in an even skim tone with seriously fast, acting serum that combines Loomis Scan, lacked a gas environment, vitamin c its Robin Mcgraw revelation dot com. It's the only place. You can get it and run but now you get thirty percent of all products. Just use code. R M are thirty r M are thirty. What
about couples in quarantine- and let me tell you it is a different dynamic than anybody in the history of the United States has ever experienced. So you ve got a lifestyle that was based on true incomes. That's been shot off only person, you control is you. We always feelings you can feel. Are yours and your guarantee to have conflict about Billy? Give you a secret ocean, Well, it's not you. That means you found your way to fill in the whites, and you can guess the topic today. I'm talking about The corroded iris covered nineteen. I'm talking about this because it's what's on everybody's mind: right, listen, guys, we're the situation that has never happened,
in the history of the United States, we ve been through wars. We ve been through, the war of one twelve eight hundred who were a war one world war to the or South Korea we ve been through nineteen eighteen with Spain, flew. We ve been through all kinds of things in this country, but we have never been through what we ve been through. This country is on there. We now We have well over. Probably I guess two hundred million people are locked down this. Is it martial that we bear been to stay at home and shelter at all. Let's face it, that's creating a lot of pressure on everybody on all of us, think about what means. Never one nobody's worthy remained think about it: nobody's work
everybody had alive and since ninety Seventy we'd better to income society make about there in the night fiftys when I was word and growing up We were in a one income society. Dad work. Mom stayed at home in the only time off. Work is it that got sick temporarily arose out of a job for a while, then mom would come in and work and supplement during that time, and that's how you got through things, but then, in the seventies we became to income society where both
dad work and, as we move into the Eightys and Ninetys like seventy eight percent of the homes, both parents work and what does it mean? That means that the lifestyle is adjusted to a to income standard. Where the how she lived in the car, he drove the money you spare clothes, you bought the trip you took, everything was based. Two in jobs, one hundred percent of the trap and if anything happened to disrupt that, if one of you that's how much is a head cold thing. You were in serious financial trouble and now neither of us are working both mom and dad are out of work, both mom and dad are staying home because all jobs are shut down. So you got a lifestyle that was based on
few incomes and that's been shot off so now, you're sitting home and their arguing on Galileo about what they're going to do this it. Well, it's gonna be a two point: two trillion dollar package undergo the ship off twelve hundred dollars or whatever it is in three weeks, nobody's gonna freeway cushion, let's face it so that creates titular pressure. Then you got the pressure of. Am I gonna catch? This covered, I d them. I gotta catch the disease and talking about, are you gonna catch it or not? Nobody is talking about.
Fear. People have of the hell that you go through when you get it, the corona virus outbreak continues and will it comes increasing stress, pressure and uncertainty for the past weeks. I've been delivering shows from my home about this because, like you much I gotcha there they closed the studio. They said you gotta go home, we're shutting down here while we're shutting down. Stage, twenty nine were shouting down. Everything and everybody's going go home and work from home and listen. I didn't like but I totally agree with it. I mean with that like three hundred people down there and you can't have social distancing in every hundred people working in one Of course, I didn't want people to be at risk. Nobody deals with. It
Everybody go home and less work from home and will keep doing shows but then argues come from all over the United States without well. We can't be asking people to flee We can't be asked people to get on airplanes and fly when this disease is everywhere, so that doesn't work, because when people travel in do things it falls apart, people start getting infected and they start spreading it look. What happened recently when people didn't take it seriously in Louisiana, they went to Marty grow and there were four hundred cases within twenty four hours. Four hundred new cases in the surgeon General Jerome when I say let we're headed for where ITALY is Ryanair and ITALY is stacking body bags right, left,
and so people are saying: ok we're we're going to shut down for two weeks. They came and told us. Ok, we're shutting down for two weeks, and I said at the time No we're not! This is gonna, be one better in two weeks series this will be worse, not better in two weeks, because we haven't even approached the apex bill gates fairly bright guy says we're not gonna get you re backs before six weeks. Its wrapping up we found the mayor. New York city was on the air. Save our Morgan has a capacity of my had read and we're gonna hit that capacity and seven, let them the Chicago PD says they're not taking it seriously. Here were actually start finding people because you're not taking it seriously. This is costing live right and clearly we see thousands and thousands of lives lost, and this is a different situation.
Because when people go to the hospital and died from Covid, nineteen they're dying alone, they're dying alone, and why is that because loved one can't go be with them, because they're infected? If you go in there and hug them and hold their hand, then you can get infected you'll take their place in the bed with they pass away. I got a letter came in on Facebook, traced from Pennsylvania wants to know how do you deal with grief of a loved one who pay? this is due to Roma virus when you can't go see them and when they do
as a low with nobody there. You can't have a funeral well well. That is a really fair question. I can tell you that is a different time. As I said, we ve never been able to with this in, I just had to deal with this personally in my own wife, a couple it s passed away and you you are so frustrated because you can't have a euro. You care, have a memorial service There will be three hundred people that would come to other, alas, but you can't do that and they would take place another city, you can't even travel, so there has to be avoided
to all memorial. There has to be a virtual eulogy. All of these things are different in different types right now. So how do you deal with the grief of loved ones? You deal the same way. You always have their and you just realized that you're not this honouring this person by not doing the traditional timeline, because there will come a time when this country opens back up and you can have a look. Or your service and people understand. There is a value to this technology, where you can actually do something where you can go on Youtube in how something you can have a virtual eulogy. You can make an announcement and then you could disagree time comes that you will all get together and have a celebration of life.
For a memorial service or whatever you want to do, but you just have to acknowledge. We are in a different time and not feel guilty about it. You didn't create this problem, do what you can do virtually without putting other lives at risk. You don't want people to feel like they're compelled to come where they're dishonoring your loved one. That's not the case, don't feel guilty and don't make others feel guilty. Do what you can virtually and in time know that you will step up and honored it the way that you really watch, I understand it, we just having to do things differently. I got a question for Mr Michel on Facebook. She said her four year old, really, MRS his friends, and although they have faced time play dates for your own says, that's not good enough. I want to see my friend Then you're, you should
Are you worried about the long term effects of him not physically socializing with other children? Listen, that's a fair question, because children socialize they become socialized it for five years old. They bombed at this time, but I promise you that you can help head on Any potential consequences by becoming your child's play made as well, but kids build confidence and independence Do they learn skills like sharing and taking turns playing, whether it's with other kids or whether it's with their siblings or their parents? They don't have to have a deep bond with another child in order to learn empathy and sharing caring remorse,
all the things that go into being socialized in some of those things can happen. If you have a face, I played it where they learn to take turns. I learned to follow rules. They learn to do those things, but I say: is empathy and human carrying can happen with their interaction with pets, siblings and you, as the parrots. All those things could happen. So you're not going to start your child because for a period of time, so they are not able to actually physically be with another child. Other doesn't mean when they are able to do that again, that they might not have some discomfort right it first, because I haven't done it for a while. Then you may need to ease them back into their, but you can stand in further appeared. You can build those ports. You could build those tat, you can get up in the tree house and you can do things with them. So.
Mom, dad you just going to have to get in there and do what you can to be a playmate buck up and do that you'll be glad that you did and there's an old saying that the hours are long and the years are short. What that means is in the back yard drags on for ever, but they sure girl out fires. Did you say why those years flew by the hours are long and the years are short, just be glad that you do have this time and make the most of it while you have it make the most of it. While you have it and sees on to it now,. Very a new word that wasn't in our vocabulary even thirty days ago. So what is a cold idiot? somebody that behaves like an idiot when it comes
Disease covered mighty. These are people that just don't seem to understand the gravity of what we're talking about ear or they understand and are so selfish. Throw egotistical so entitle. The date is no care. Now I'll talk to you about your these videos span. They come up with every sort. Sir, this nursey bury. This is all just media this as the Illuminati. These are rich people trying to keep the young people there. This is all just Meda. I guess they think they just and got a budget that is parliament, and got the media down there to take pictures of Syria, de there those out there. They think this is obviously conspiracy. Then there are those who say: look I'm yeah. This is an all peoples,
these? I? So why do I have to be turning mile I fought because some other person is gonna die. They're gonna die anyway. So why should I be concerned? Why should I miss bring break. Why should I miss my problem? Why should I miss all the things that I you all my life, because some guy over here some woman over here that six thousand five hundred and seventy five years old is going to die. I shouldn't have to do that. Well, you know what yeah you should because that's called in, let's call being socialized. This is something that we all have to do to be in this life together. So you got anything consult. Who would be that self issue would do that kind of? Well, let's talk about that, because there are a couple of personality types they do. This narcissistic is one of them. Let's talk about who nourishes the star narcissist or people dead,
yes need, an audience. They just need acceptance, so they gotta be with the in crowd and they believe that they are entitled. They think they are special, They truly believe that whatever they do is their right. They have no empathy for other people. They are exploitive of other people's rights. They truly think their special and should be used so people to do special things and they believe they should have an audience for all. That is why this future generation breaks lady posted on the internet if their brushing their teeth or of their time a few or changing their shared by they. They have to have an honest rethinking. They measure their self worth is everything whites were used, they get on some social media platform
and these people are so in title that they believe that Rules don't apply to today that sacrifices should not be made by idea and therefore, if you say look the time that we just all have to make sacrifices and do things that we don't want to do. That requires maturity, and they just don't have that. No that's one personality type that you have to deal with, stopping think. If you know people like that who just simply don't want to pay the price, don't want to do things for the general good of society, then there is a malignant narcissist, and these are people that are actually antisocial
In their personality, these are people that yes fail to conform to social norms. So if the norm is hey, we're gonna shelter at home, we're going to maintain social distancing, we're gonna have a different level of hygiene, wash our hands clean surfaces, we're gonna respects base for mothers with social. This is it not now, because they are impulsive, they are reckless and self destructing, the reckless with their say either reckless with your safety. They are irresponsible, so they'll do something that is high risk, because I dont really value themselves. They sure as Hell, don't value you. So if you take someone with an anti social personality and mix it with somebody, the desert, a narcissistic personality, it put them
societal situation that requires that everyone work together and everyone get along and we're going to get this done. If I got to push the rock up the hill together, these people are not going to help they're not going to help push the rock we're going to keep disease from spreading. Then everybody's got play by the rules, the only why this spreads is if people stop connecting with another person, You have the disorder with you have the disease and you dont get around other people. You could get it. So. It runs its course within you and you now build up antibodies. You actually are part of the solution to our problems. All you have to do is stay home until that takes place and you go from being part of the problem to part of the solution, but they don't want to make this
sacrifice the hell with you. They want to go, do what they want to do. That's why Miami Beach was wall to wall with young people and when they close to beaches. They move two boats, five hundred yards offshore, because they don't care if they make anybody else. If they'll go, do that and then come back home and go to the store post office or wherever people are doing, a special things, walk right up to the make them sick and not care one whit about whether the doing tonight, so you have to understand that there are those people out there. That's why the Chicago Police Department is saying, if necessary, we're going to start fighting these people dollars. Every time we see the well well, I thought to share
We are the waiver just a few days into the lock down in no way Elizabeth Lynne, or do that wouldn't want to be happy with this people understand we have to cooperate here, so we ve got a problem here. There are people that just don't want to play the game. They just don't want to play the game now. What's on the other end of the continual you know, that's where it gets hard. Because, on the other end of the continuum, more people, better experiences, So much anxiety, so much fear so much depression. Its paralyzing room and actually making them more susceptible to disease. A serious is correct The virus and nineteen years,
There are more risk that we have to contend with in those areas have to do with mental hygiene. Because it is my belief- and I think that a lot of folks in the mental health provision that anxiety, depression and stress can do as much or more damage than the actual virus. That is being reacted too. Now. Why do I say that I say that because. When people get, is reactive to something as they are to the unknowns that way, dealing with here? It takes a toll on the human body. When you're. Under this much stress, it causes you're immune system to be depleted.
And it shows up physically. Those that are at risk, for dementia are much higher risk for dementia. If you have, cancer mortality goes up as much as twenty five percent function. All decline. If someone is elderly and have functional, they are with activities of daily living, their ability to take care of themselves to do things, to walk, to handle grooming. To do things around the house declined dramatically when they are paralyzed by fear and AIDS. I risk of stroke can go up as much as a third. When people are paralyzed by fear and anxiety having panic attacks, they stay this.
Eight of energy rouse allow at the top of this can be really problematic. Now, why is this happening is happening, because this is a death sentence. If you catch this disease, no, it's not a death sentence, the anxiety and oppression, panic attacks that people are haven't even committing suicide is disproportionate to the risk, because there's so much, we don't know about the corona virus. About coded nineteen. But what we do know is that eighty five percent of the people that contract this disease will have milder moderate symptoms for a matter of days.
Then they will get better and returned to their lives. Now think about what I just said, eighty five percent of the people will have mile to moderate symptoms. Will it be pleasant know that they will have mild symptoms and they will not require hospitalization. They will heal at home and get up and go back to their lives. Then, when you hear it said that way, does it see like you should be paralysed by anxiety of their does. It seem like you should become so the prayers that you contemplate, taking your own wife, no But if you watch the media around the clock, if you spend it
in hours a day glued to television. Let me tell you why that's not a reasonable representation of reality. I'm not trivializing this disorder, but the news reports sensational things. They report a worst case scenario. They report the bad aspects of the story. Why, because that's what people watch you don't ever turn on the five o clock news and they say today. Third now nothing happened. Why not? Because nobody would watch where? Will you go to websites and you'd look at
he's counters. How many cases have been reported? Germany decibel report. How often do you see the statistic? How many people recover almost never, but the truth is almost half of the people that contracted this virus in China have recovered. Now I dont believe everything the Chinese say for a second. I dont believe that they don't spend this politically, but I do know that an awful lot of people her have recovered. I do know that, even here that a lot of people that contracted this early have already recovered and our back to their last any in fact have created anti bodies that can create what's collar, convalescent serum. That can be used in the fight against this infection, with people that are at risk for really far down the disease burden,
There is good news about this in areas that eighty five percent of the people don't require. Hospitalization up those that do require hospitalization. There is a procedure that will tragically die it for them. It's one hundred percent. If you're one of those it dies, if your mother or your father or you died for you, it's a hundred percent and I don't it's trivialize or make light of that it anyway. What I am saying this, the majority of people will not help
they will have milder moderate shoot him. So why we shut the entire country down. We shut it down for those fifty percent. We shut down for the fifteen or twenty percent that are at risk of dying. If they do contract this disease, is it worth paralyzing the entire country for fifty percent of the people, most of whom are elderly you damn right it is we take care each other we take care or elderly. We honour our elderly and it's not just the elderly, although it is mostly elder we shut down our economy. Do we shut down our country for these people? Damn right? We do you do what you have to do to take care of everybody and if you don't think that makes sense
You will be there one day of your not already we take care of those people we get to say will best is fifty percent of the people I'll get it over. What do I care if I go to the grocery store and I'm standing next to live on the corner, and I give her this disease and she dots? That's not ok with me. It should not be ok with you. It should not be ok. With an eighteen year old boy, the university was spread break. If that's ok, then we ve, lost all human, but to be paralysed with anxiety and depression means. You are disproportionately reacting to the threat. Your reaction is disproportionate and it is even leading to it.
Increase risk of suicide. You ve gotta, be realistic and you ve gotta be willing to test your thinking, because if you let us get away from you, it can get there. You, I said at the beginning that I felt like the anxiety, the depression could do as much damage has a virus itself that it could even lead to suicide, and I have to tell you grab looking on computer data, for the messages I'm getting the post that I'm. I seen a number of references, both directly and indirectly, to people that Thinking about suicide, stealing law seriously girl like I'm overwhelmed by this and work. If you one is thinking about,
bring about in your own life. Pleased out. Please, though, because I can tell you there are people out here that care about you and I have talked with so many people that have attempted to take their lives and sail in fact, ninety four percent of people. That again, to take their lives and their so gladly do you somewhere. They did because things get better. What seemed like searching insurmountable builded climate time. Does it seem that way later the mood passes. The time passed. Things turn a rail. Then, if you around someone that's talking about it, take it seriously people to talk about it. In fact, do it see them searching the internet for ways to go out for their withdrawing from you telling people goodbye?
giving away all the price possessions take it seriously and listen suicide hotline use their these people won't do anything that embarrass you. They will ask you to identify yourself. They won't come kick your door doubt it goes up psychiatric Sylvie. They will listen to. You will answer your questions I walked up in. There are answers. There are people, they care game brag. Oh my wife again, you know Robin has Robin Mcgraw Revelation, which is a company that takes care of your skin and light Garcia. I've used the top of my head for the lab on this. They used it to test out some of these things and they really do a lot of testing on this stuff and one of their products is called today every day. All day Rosales, day lotion. Now this is
something that reduces redness and reveals radiance in your skin? Now this lotion TK? arms, Reseda, untamed, future flare up for a glowing healthy complexion. There's a high grading alpha, hydroxide acid, that goes along with antioxidants, vitamin k, peptides an ironic asked. And these are absorbed into the skin and it happens twenty six times faster because they have this dynamic, infusion technology that they got patented. Let me tell you, when you have a skin here product that they actually issue a patent on. That means they ve really got something special, and this helps you clear up your skin and you'd. Serve this as soon as possible? You can only get this robber girl, revelation, dot, com and Now you get thirty percent of all products. Thirty percent of all products just use code r m- are thirty aria, more thirty, hey
no we're coming in spring time. It looks like we're. Gonna have a lot of time sitting around home, so shopping online is the smart play you can give yourself a spring time, spruce up and enjoy brighter healthier skin. Thanks to my wife, Robin Regrows revelations brightening trio, this unique triple action. Skin brightening kid. It will help you shine bright all day every day by eliminating sunspots, rejuvenating dull skin in restoring you're youthful glow hydrate your skin. By applying them Durham every morning and cream cream every night and Foley, two or three times a week for a clear, bright complexion. This skin brightening kit features potent botanical extracts that work together to provide everything your skin needs to be at its best,
all day and all night long. This trio features let there be bright, star light face bright and twinkle Twinkle Eurostar and they all have triple x ray. Meaning serum and you can only get them Robin regrow, revelation dot, com and right. Now you get thirty percent of all products. Thirty percent of all products just use code r M are Thirty aria, more thirty Roy. Mcgraw revelation which is owned by my, wife Robin so you know its quality has a great new product line for adult acne. Now there to products one zap your covered all day long, which is day acne lotion. And relax. You're covered sweet dreams, which is a night acne cream,
I really powerful products for adults that have acne issues these products he'll break out fast, with out over drawing your skin Roberts new treatments for adult acne won't trigger skin purging or Blair UPS, when you introduce it into your regular skin care, routine, now sure. Also civic acid made from Willow bark clears pours to prevent future blemishes, while anti aging antioxidants, keep skin, and, if you order now and get this acne fighting, do. Oh, you get a fifty fierce son screen for free and you're gonna need that, because we're coming in the warm weather, as you know, you're going to spend a lot of time in the sun, you can only get this, it robber girl revelation dot com, Robin Mcgraw, revelation dot calm order now and get your free, fifty fierce sunscreen
and right now you get thirty percent of all products. Thirty percent of all products just use code r m- are, thirty aria, more thirty. A line from the sea road, and she said, how can I say, positive and protection for the isolation is making me feel depressed and sluggish listen, lonely. This is one of the biggest planes that can cause people to feel the press. Tonight, that's where you left alone, with your thoughts you're, always tell me oh, I don't like the hangar really my head. It's a bad neighborhood, you'll get. How do your own here think about other things? Now watch the media all day long because it will get. You upset, look The amount of time you spear watching the news: what's that
minutes in the morning and thirty minutes it right, he the source that you're Goin nudes, don't pick those letter histrionic and since then, obviously shares your source limit your time and if you, overcome this started a project, don't sit around in your pajamas every day lay in bed every, if you used to get it, every morning, and take a shower and get dressed and get ready to go to work. Do the same thing right now every morning? Take a shower, don't be a slight given up and get dressed. You're gonna have to do that soon, because this world is gonna, start we're gonna get back to wise and you don't want that to be difficult. Keep a journal right down your thoughts and pay attention to what you're saying to yourself and your internal dialogue winners do things losers, know what to do, and you may have behaviour It is exerts, create schedule routine. Listen, you want
Google way what you need the most. If you want to overcome, fear and anxiety, ceiling lowly and wars away. What you need the most, the old, people were the ones that are more at risk and there are less likely to know how to use technology go to To your neighbor's house, it maybe it's a few. Fourthly, out of your part Billy If you know there's an elderly person down there or an elderly couple, don't knock on their door and say hey! You don't know me, but I see you on the street or in I don't know you live alone and I'm standing sexually back for me because I'm respecting social distancing, but no, you remove see. Do you need can have on an errand for you, I'm going to the store, cannot pick up anything for you always leave it at your door, unlocked the door, What? If I let you and you probably don't wanna- give If ever to a stranger, I understand.
Here's mine, if you lay something called me, do you have faced time? I would love to be your friend. We could talk on space time. I care about you to be a well. You reach out to some one had become their friend and do something for them. You will feel so much better. And others not someone you, I didn't find call your church ass, the railway spreads. If they know someone give away what you need the most, it will soon you up faster than anything. You can imagine, because I'm telling you, if you want to feel better, you gotta, shaken up to break it up by me. Change Everything changed the furniture in your house moving around the catch over here, the chairs, overhear open the window. Playing music. Do everything you can possibly due to brighten up your world.
Don't sit around you. The fatal position ruminating had obsessing about what bad can happen, as I said start a project change your world change. Your environment. Gonna get dressed, you ready to go. We are not helpless. Here. You can change the corset your wife, even in isolation? That's what you do. You were the visually. How do you mean these things as a couple we're weeks into a self above quarantine, and I can assure you, nerves are starting to get Fraid under one roof and I've talked to the families that have your wife for children to dogs and the house. That was not.
Design for everybody to be home at one time. All the time and now they're home school, and so these birds were from the jobs to being teachers, get for kids and four different grades. One computer and they're supposed to do all this home schooling or one laptop, a media network it desert, So everybody gets pretty tents and look if you're having tension with your partner right now. That does not mean that you don't love each other. It doesn't make you married the wrong person. It just means that your work geared up for this You didn't plan for this. You didn't praying for the US. You just got thrown into, Let me tell you, there's a difference between baby,
situation like this by choice versus be order into the situation. Is a different mindset to allow the couples who are having sex because they're all the thermometer. For arbitration versus just ethically what they want to end. It becomes were really fast when you're doing along the clock on the subject, they go while after finding out of it, because now it's regiment is counter what's happening here. Racial order to stay there ought to be together like allowed it to use this been imposed on the people to the pockets. Relationships are negotiated, ended negotiations and never stop they. Just never. And we were being forced to be together. This merge, while we're under so much stress,
nerves are on edge, and the first thing you need to do is acknowledge their with no bridge here that this is a weird that it is an unusual sit down with your partner in say, while we ve got thrown into the shark. Thank you didn't. We were prepared for this, so let me ask you, this is gonna, be difficult for you, I wouldn't want to be with me all the time, and I am. How can I help? How can I help? list of things about me that buck, you is tell me, how can I help? I don't want to be a problem. Show me how I can and you're guaranteed to have conflict, and I'm going to give you a secret potion. Four minimizing were, and it is the rule I versus you
you wanna use. I statements not new statements. Here's what I mean you get a disagreement. You don't want to say well, you did this, but you made me feel this way and you just you know when you do that people immediately get the pussy as opposed to say. I feel this way based on what happened. I feel this way. Not you did that. I feel this way. Only person you control is you the only feelings you can feel are yours. So if you get into these dispute start using, I statements.
EU statement? It will make all the difference in the world and something that I said that I feel really strongly about. Is I want you to substitute the words, hurt, fear and frustration for the word anger. So if you're in dispute with your partner instead of saying, while I really pissed off, take that word out of your sins and say I am really hurt or I'm really scared or I'm really frustrated taking out the word anger, mad pissed off and replacing it with the real emotion, you're feeling, which is hurt, scared or frustrated will change the entire dynamic. I statements and replacing that word will make a huge difference,
More about that and how to handle custody when you don't want to put children at risk, we're talkin about couples in quarantine, and let me tell you it is a different dynamic than anybody in the history of the United States has ever experienced, because we have never been in a situation where the entire country were shut there, and I was just telling you how to negotiate in your relationship and how to handle conflict, and there is a trap you can get caught him. It's what I call a relationship catch twenty two. I was telling you how to use I statements instead of you statements and one of the things that you can do stay out of conflict is usually I statements and really be a listener. Haven't you
with your partner. Have you ever said these words? Tell me more. How many times have you ever said? The words tell me more instead of defending yourself or offering a solution trying to fix everything? That's what we get more fix. Everything were rescued that doesn't work? It gets you into a relationship catch twenty two! Let me tell you how that works. Ok, You start out where Europe set your wounded, and so your partner poorly tries to fix the situation And you re jerked that offer this year, the bad guy. What way with it
words you the one. It was well due to begin with, so you will not be the bad guy. That's the kids! Twenty two you're, upset and wounded. Your partner tries to fix it That's not what you were asking for. So you rejected you, wind up, be the bad guy, that's the catch! Twenty! Two! That's why it's important for both of you. Instead of trying to fix it say, tell me more, want to understand. That's all you have to do you dont want a weapon eyes. Your language you dont want to do recognize the crises reveal who you are, and you want to act as though there is a hidden camera. They're gonna take their supply it back on doktor fuel cells.
Whatever you do don't argue in front of the children, I have two rules about children, You'd, never involve them in adult content, had never ok, I'm responsible for things over which they have no control. If you do that, you give those children a big gift. The careful if Canada Rodeo she said, split custody. What best for the children right now in this difficult situation, My son's love have never been good. Should he stay at one parents for awhile or keep shuffling back and forth every week According to the CDC people with asthma, much maybe a higher risk of getting very sick from covert Nike.
Limiting the risk of outside exposure can be helpful. So I would tell you: is this you and your partner, your ex need to cooperate very carefully, and that means, if you're, going to maintain your joint custody and you're going to share time with your child racket eyes that you have to do so responsibly, and this is not an air borne citizens. This is what the economic just an infectious disease specialist repelling. That's not me I'm not either of those things, but I do have the opportunity to talk to them. In their say, this is not a mere boy disorder. It does hanging in the air. So you dont, want someone. There is susceptible to be outside
I had a lot so, if you're going to make the switch you to work together, pull the car in the garage with child in the car you Roy do than other garage. You take the child out. You make sure that the two of you are working at once. They have been in harmony to make sure that you protect the child. Any still has access to both parents. Put the child's interests head of your own interesting question from John from California who wants to know. Do you think what this is all over people will always sphere to shake hands with each other when they made with new way to extend a greeting? Well, you know, John, I have to tell you. This is a new thing. As I said, and you know, people are fist bumping and people are kind of crossing their chest with their hands
People are touching elbows, which violates the six foot social distancing by the way, but listen who knows what's gonna come out of the earth tell you that what I really am concerned about is that we do not react to this disproportionately. Now Robin and I one hundred percent respect proceed. Cdc said I here we are, maintaining social isolation, we are adhering to social distancing but what I fear is scary children, because children don't understand everything that it also understand and they could be made very fearful where they see the World S, people at it in a very scary were be careful that you dont cause you child to be afraid of other people and be careful that data
what's the media so much that they do see. The world is a very hard for whites. After nine eleven, the children were one the media without apparent thought. All of the buildings in America had been knocked me because they were saying it on all the channels from different angles and they thought all the buildings were being that they not just to, and they were here. I find that what the world was gonna be when it was over with. So we need to be sure we frame this with children and make sure they understand we're not help with you, dont, be afraid of the world. Just respect the fact that there are times that we needed be more careful understand that you are in power, you're, not a victim here. If you don't have to be afraid that substance good job on you it You're steal your health justly
they are that there are times there is a certain degree of hygiene is more important than we need to be careful about that. Let them know their powerful. They have, were and have a sense of humor about it. When you're washing hands make it again see you can get the biggest sides boy see it twenty seconds, you can get the biggest bell, lather going, so you can make funny? You saw why you wash your here, when you see who can be the most only from across the street. Don't let them isolate from people don't let them socially distance this, let them physically distance, but make that they maintain social scale, don't let them be afraid, make them powerful. Make them develop. New skill.
Nothing more information about today show log on to Dr Phil dot com and don't forget to check me out on any of my social media platform. Facebook, twitter Instagram. You can even find me on Tik Tok thanks for listening, stay, safe, stay! Well, we'll see you next time. hey, you guys know my wife, Robin Mcgraw has Robin Mcgraw Revelation, which is a great skin care products, and what of hers is called. Let there be bright. This is a triple action, brightening serum it brightens, a complexion even skim tone with seriously fast. Acting serum that combines Loomis Scan, lacked a guy.
Said and vitamin C its Robin Mcgraw revelation dot com, that's the only place you can get it and now you get thirty percent of all products. Thirty percent of all products, just use code are em thirty aria MAR thirty.
Transcript generated on 2020-04-15.