Taylor Nicole Dean was a self-described shut-in, a teenager who lived in her parent's home, surrounded by exotic pets. And then she started making videos on YouTube.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
This episode is brought to you by better for him a new podcast from eighty people. In each episode, Francesca Ramsay talks to visionaries in business leaders about mistakes. They ve made how they work their way through them and came out better for Listen on Spotify or wherever you get. Your pot casts. From gimlet reply off, I'm sure you ve been in any everyone to basically what we're gonna do today and I'm going to show you all of my animal able to think that we really can about the number of animals. I have I get told. Maybe you ve never heard of the masterpiece. That is all my pets in one video, that's fine, a year ago. I hadn't either it was this random. Enchanting
Youtube, video that I had just stumbled across and could not stop watching so quick little spin. Around of my room starts here. Goes around. You see this girl in what is an EU slightly messy teenage bedroom, but every inch of space is just filled with animal cages. Fish tanks aside. So here we have asteroid pachmann. Frogs literally do nothing, but I still love him and he is a baby. He is going to get about the size of a dinner point one day that she's walking around opening all enclosures, which turn out to hold these like strange and light for animals. There's crocodiles, kinks, hedgehogs, crested geckos. You goes on the junk ear side. He has some roles, another captain diverting closures Males don't get along, I'm not an animal person, but last year, whenever I was dressed out, I would just come back to this video and watch it. It just is
makes me laugh feel this is my shoe she's, my actual model, not actual model, nope, that's so nice poop for the video most not a part of this whole thing is a girl at the center Taylor, Nicole Dean for soft she's beautiful. She is like hair. That's always different. Color no silver, when it's not shocking, pink and she's, always in his bedroom, like bathed in the blue light of her aquariums, sometimes watching it I'd start to feel. But she herself was another one of these strange, fragile creatures like this bedroom is actually it'll, true area made for her how hi Taylor hey this is shutting. Almost exactly a year ago, I decided to call Taylor
I am certain picturing where Europe, based on your videos, you owe me, are you like sitting in a bedroom, surrounded by Pokemon, likely Cherson sitting on my bed right now. It's pretty much. My only furniture really my own in my bedroom. Everything else has just been taken over by my animals. Taylor has lived entire life in San Antonio Texas, her dad works in insurance and her mom sees at home to take care of her brother who s and health issues and talking to her, she told me like that were puzzle. Vibe had gotten from washing her videos just like the trapped in your room kind of thing. She told me, like that's, actually kind of my life in real life, it's been very, Edward for it, I'm very shot in real life of lake. I live my family. I don't really know people in this town, even though I ve been here all my life because of growing. By actually had added a lot of medical problems and this I said I promise
no. No I'm sorry what. Why was that? I had its. Why still habit? It doesn't go away but it was undiagnosed at the time. So no one really knew. What to do. I would fall I'm her myself, I just I couldn't get to school. I was always sick to my stomach migraines, so dizzy that I couldn't stand up in an out of the house all the time because we never know is wrong. Doctors actually diagnosed Taylor with this thing called. Download syndrome connective tissue disorder. But before that and had no idea what was going on. She was always covered in bruises. She would sprain her ankle. Just walking around her house does one time she, cracked her classical rolling over in her bed, so in the fifth Grey they took her out of school and she joined a homebound programme. I got really depends now is younger and just cause, I was lake in
well. Basically, in my own home, I was too sick to go anywhere, but I guess maybe that's also why animals became so big thing to me as I did it. I wasn't the most social person with people, because I was very I was very disconnected from everyone, my age, because I wasn't at school. I wasn't like anything like that, so it was very easy for me to get. You know, get attached to these animal because then they live in my home and I take care of them every day and it was kind of like, like a friendship. Almost at the time I spoke to tailor. She was twenty years old. She lived with her parents and she spent All her time, either on social media or taking care of her expensive animals, and she said that for years, her parents had been really worried about what exactly she was gonna do with her life. But she also sad that right at this moment, when I called her, everything had started to change. She had just had five per thousand subscribers, which meant that she'd been elevated to the
different level in the Youtube hierarchy. People started calling her asking if they could manage her and sharing signing with this one manager in allay she flew down for the first time and he took her to this party. The entire party was all Youtube errors and it was the first party I think urban too, and I mean now yet at twenty years old- and I went to my first party- and it was crazy- the party was bunch of other you tumors, jammed into one room and tailor who told me that she is deeply socially anxious and completely froze up to not know how to chit chat, I'm still learning how to lake communicate with people like wake in person? I guess I don't know I'm so used to online stops, though it is the difference like when you re here. Video! It's an internal monologue, Alma, yes, and out there. It's like people, GIS,
they're saying ask they is and happening so fast and all happening so fast and there's no language like take into like there's. We should take into account just there's always other aspects that I want to deal with numbers talking to myself. Terror seems to be on the verge of weirdly some kind of stardom, and I was very curious about why it look like for a twenty year old self described, shut in too suddenly, a famous for the videos that she made her pads on Youtube like what is a kind of fame even look like, and how would Taylor handle it? So I, if you don't mind I'll, just checking maybe a week or two out of sync from that shows our fantasies. You say you often talking you to actually There will be many months before I would talk to tailor again because you to fame
crash into her like a tidal wave right. After this conversation, her audience numbers went through the roof and this whole new, John or up on you, two had to grew rapidly around her and with it. Of course, Came all these competitors like Em Zadok, hang, I am today I'm gonna, be talking about one of my favorite invited, breadth: Madagascar, pissing, cockroach she's, like Taylor for and really and cockroaches than theirs. Tyler Rugby. What's up you guys, gonna show you guys all of my he's like Taylor. If she were Q boy with this helmet of hair sprayed hair, I wouldn't be showing you all my pack entirely title and those are just a big competitors behind them, hundreds of aspiring pet, stars. All China just grab some of those subscribers. Now, to get onto my pet rats. Black
great, how I love remit and this whole thing turns into an arms race. Please think about it. Every week all of these kids have to make a new video with a new reared. Looking pad she's a little had shot her name is Mau Mau, it's almost like how many paths can fit into one bedroom. I went there looking the two snakes and instead I came home with two dozen to cockroaches and tailor she's he's the one at the wheel, of this race, the person with the most followers and the most Patsy, One year ago I wouldn't even allowed to have snakes. Four times have changed, and now I own six, I bought a twenty two hundred dollar bob. I thought, oh, he friend what
you do for your weekend. Oh my god, I had so much fine. You know you know bath. I went out with her. Only went, has six parties and we ve got the wrong. It was the best weakened ever. What did you do? For a euro weakens Taylor? I gotta find new path, but then some tailors viewers are starting to say, wait a minute. This hope happen, he's getting way out of control and these people making their own videos about Taylor, they'll unequal dean. Let's talk about her no Taylor, Nicole dean Has a habit of acquiring animals are very very quickly at an alarming rate. There saying she's pet hoarding she's idea. What she's doing I talked to this one person, a miracle Sonny, I'm a fresh water tank enthusiasts.
So I know more about freshwater, fish and salt water fish, and I can tell you, as someone who keeps aquariums like that, is my talk concern son is a member of this online forum called grew gossip, which is all about Youtube celebrities inside. He says that she used to be the world's biggest Taylor fan, but her eyes were opened when she first went on, grew gossip and saw tens of thousands of post all dedicated to Taylor and the finer points of pack here. Can you give me a specific example of a carry thing that you were like? Oh I realise that there was an issue she gets criticized. Allied fur like you know, too small closures and something specific regarding paying. She gets criticise the lot for putting incompatible species
fish together according to sunny the thing that we should all really be asking ourselves. As is Taylor, Nicole Dean really fit to be a pat mom. She says that, like you know, she can't like it out better, do anything, but then it's like how are you able take care of all these animals like? Aren't you stretching yourself, then, if that's the case, but then you keep Bungay more animals like you. Can you can have it both ways? We are like the perfect pet mom but there are days where you're like suffering so bad you're in so much pain that you can't get out of bed. You know what I mean like there's some neglect going on there or you know you're not doing bad. You know what I mean for long time. The postern guru gossip are relatively tame. It's a lot of stuff about, like the illegal too seller. She bought those turtles from or whether she should actually be touching. This pachmann frogs with her hands but
in November. This thing happens: TAT convinces all the guru gossip urge that Taylor, Nicole Dean, has to be stopped short the boy friend at the time like I didn't know who Johnny Craig was out like earnestly like how weird? Why is he latching onto this young girl, the boyfriend Johnny Craig is thirty two year old rockstar and there are some legit they concerning things about him, like previous partners, have accused him of assault. He struggled with heroin addiction he denies accusations, and he says that he's been clean, but the thing. Good. Gossip is mostly preoccupied with is that Johnny does not seem good for tailors pets, Hague, I thought so every single video Taylor releases after this is turned over again and again for evidence that something dark is going on like the gecko incident was alive stream of her and Johnny Smoking marijuana. That's another
thus far and herds go on. Closure was in the background, and What does that mean that it was, in the background is that they were in the same room, poor ventilation, for a very fragile animal or the kitten incident. That was the mess she found to kittens a ban. Then, and rather than turning them over to a shelter. She aside, take them in herself sound like you know what to be honest, going take these two new one. Can I'm going raise them in love them tat? One's was a boy They share anything soon after one of the kitten sties and Thus gossip is just a flame. They are sure that either He drowned the kitten or tailored didn't know how to take care of it. See Taylor on Twitter trying to defend herself, and she just looks like this girl who never been to high school suddenly in high school on steroids, but its unclear to me
like how much of it is actually affecting her. It has been six months, since I first spoke to her and she's been just impossible to get on the phone everytime response to talk. She just doesn't show up, but then in November, the thing happens: she gets. To a public fight with her parents, it's over her boyfriend Johnny she moves out of. House and into a place of our own with Johnny and all her pants, its messy personal story and tailors to retreat. She's just posting fewer and were videos and what that guy it's been a little bit yet again since I've made a video, but I moving is hard. I don't even know if I remember how to talk in front of the camera. On top of all my things, my personal things I've been juggling. I just haven't been too proud of my work, so I've been in a
writers block? I don't know what the into version that is, numbers blog, but if it looks like Taylor herself isn't in great shape her Youtube career is skyrocketing. She blows passed a million subscribers. She starts attracting six figure advertisers and then, in March she gets the invitation. It's a playlist life. This huge you tube event, which is like the equivalent of tailor getting an invite to Woodstock or cartel It's gonna be her first big public appearance. Ever I decided to go and of April I Flight Orlando, and I arrive a day before the conference is set to begin. It's a this bland merrier right by Disneyworld and when I get there I mean Taylor Jasper
She just arrived from Texas was wearing by comfy airplane clothes. Her hair was candy pink. She said she just come to grab Ass for the conference. We rethink our she's a little nervous to meet her and to also excited. We make a concrete plan, eleven half an hour before we get there. I can very well we're gonna meet up just before her first event, this path to panel and after that, she's gonna. Do this big meet up with hundreds of her fan. And I thought ok, cool I'll, follow around the whole day. So the next morning, first day of Playlist live, I take the elevator down to the lobby. The first arise. The thing I am not, therefore, is that there are a billion fans, all kids, and they are.
All flogging, different, higher experience, a playlist live play like you're gonna, be such a bad language everywhere, walking way back at ten o clock in the morning, and I cannot find a single quiet, spy stand, which has meant opted into some kind of stage where a person will run up viewers for their amateur Youtube Channel whispered. Today we wanted me in your blog and every twenty minutes, or so some actual star would show up like a Youtube creator, and they would do this thing. That,
real celebrities. Never to date would weight into the crowd and chit chat with their fans like just hang out with them. It becomes clear relatively quickly that this is actually the point of this whole place of playlist live like these creators. Hollywood actors or singers like the weight actually earn their fans is by just being incredibly available to them. It's like the extrovert Olympics and in all of this Taylor is nowhere to be seen inside I meet one of her fans this fifteen year old girl, Nay Margaret. Who is explain to me why she's phone all the way from New York just to meet Taylor, Nicole dean. She has like these pay. Issues, like others in which actually like home school want when life for it and I totally relax
The school oxide call of chronic migraines. I avert vertigo and on social justice paid for Jesse, does he did? He was out another Youtube. I wanted. I met her at a different event, but on its comedy I gets innocence, but Lake I don't have to explain it in one of their own thing. Yeah, that's aren't you were saying like, oh my god. Oh my god. That's sorry, I freaked out Scotty Sire Scotty, who is he is part of the blog squad with David O brick he's really. Big humour. He has a panel later. That is actually singing one of songs. I keep getting sidetracked, isn't people here again of your having fun none of your in pain both because it's like also them a big. That's not them wait, I'm totally not seeing the correct person we white and then I'm like. We need to look at what
and it's kind of like you, don't know how to react initially, because, like you, you Mary, like these famous people, that everyone's here to see celebrities events not like so he's like movie stars and everything but like to us. I've never actually been to a place like this, where a teenage girls are completely Frida freak out about their idols without any restrictions. Events, no bodyguards, no guardrail, and toddy era came downstairs in the lobby, ready to leave, they have their lives, they had they ever the things that they need to do. I think it took him a good eats ten minutes to get out of that lobby. Has it started a whole mob around him? and I was part of what was in it, and I was actually right behind him, but, like he's, to get through to go somewhere, but so many people just swarm and what do they want to do? I mean here one thing: only food honestly: what did the people
what have you swear? Monroe's? We all wanted to hug me. I want to say hi and be like. Oh my god, we want our conversation. You you're famous, someone's calling me my mom is calling me. Yes, it's eleven, a m and the petty panel that first about the tailors in its about it, So I had over there. It's in the Crystal Ball Room, a big room with hotel, carpeting and colored strobe lights. It's basically a conference home meets shitty Club and theirs I upon stage does the moderator forces horses and right next to him See Tyler Rugby with lots of hairspray and next to him. I'm sorry. And right.
The very and is an empty seat. Teller. Isn't there This episode is brought to you by better for it a new podcast from HTTP hosted by Francesca Ramsay. We all make mistakes
better, for it looks at how mistakes have shaped the lives and careers of visionaries and business leaders and helps them think differently about what their working forty you'll hear from an entrepreneur who ventured out on his and so I went out. I took seven hundred dollars. I had in the bank, but my own pickup truck, took some flyers business cards. In a week later I had a business and H our role breaker, whose learned why we all care about work in the first place. You wanted to proud of the work that you do. You want to be able to tell your friends about. You ought to be able to feel like you're, making a difference. You'll hear how they work their way through their mistakes and came out better for listen on Spotify or wherever you get your pockets.
Show so Taylor never shows up for a petty panel. It goes on for one hour. People talk about cockroaches or horses in whatever afterwards, I asked the patchy verse if they have any clue where she is and they say no, I do cease Have any clue where she is and they say no, I do see some one in the crowd, though, who might an idea what's going on, tailors, mom and her brother tanner, I to them most immediately after TAT, it is in a wheelchair. His mom is pushing him and both of them are wearing Taylor. Nicole dean T shirts, Should I tried calling her I mean I tackles at her prevents from Jennifer has no idea where either, but at this point not worried. She says she, probably just overslept, which is fine he's gonna make it for her next event. The two p m, the great that's important one. We go at lunch
and while were eating, she tells me that this trip is actually really important for her. She and tailor have been in this fight the past few months over the boyfriend Johnny Craig, and She has barely seen Taylor and so playlist is a chance for them to reconnect he says, even before the tuna started, digging tale long been obsessed with Johnny, like his city, was the first one She ever thought when she was twelve years old, and so it was very big deal when he started this like flirtation with her on twitter which excited when he wrote back to her and they were like into each other yeah. I never saw her again the moment they started happening. She was gone like this, like this fast, like King Rinkitink, Taylor, Taylor and like this. What's going on, I could not figure out
hello. Hello, like you don't even know the world was around her from that moment on. She said that when Taylor first moved out and wasn't returning her phone calls, she used actually go to Johnny Crags concerts just to get a glimpse of her daughter like she would stand and proud, like a groupie and just watch her, We just sat there for a while waiting to see if Taylor Word call or return our text messages. No word. It's almost four p m head to tailors. Next to that, this is the great where a select group of Youtube celebrities are gonna, have just meet their phones. We arrive at the entrance of the meat up room, there's a boundary hi guy standing in front these huge tall doors, and I can already hear the screams coming from side in waves is as
we're standing outside space mountain them? Oh, my god, who is not that there freaking out about a written out about the material now has not yet learned regard about you blow. We go inside and I'm in this stadium, size, space, there's a bunch of table set up at the front side by side, for the creators are going to stand there and in front of each one. There's an infant row of chairs for the fans and each section is roped off basically, you sit in your chair and you wait. You're turned to go up and have a moment with your creator. I asked when the fans, whose waiting in the pet section about why she's like why she chose to be an meet up. She's, probably most interesting in this whole grew and, like all the media say, could get for Saturday. Why?
I don't know who is that, I think, is a man who is familiar with the creator star arriving one by one and the petrol section that wearin it's the last one, and you can see people here just freaking and anticipation. Breaker like they're, getting about their chairs screening their next and just like waiting see when the patch are to arrive and when they start to walk in its in reverse order of how many Youtube subscribers they have so first comes Tyler Rugby, then I'm Sadek. No Taylor, no Taylor, I'm gonna, be that's her mom. I can't believe in bailed out on them her mom is just found that Taylor, is letting down all these bounds, but then
This woman from Playlist live she Russia's over to us and she says, like we ve, been trying to reach your daughter. All Is she ok with me I know tell us, maybe somebody should not lower suddenly the whole mood of the place chefs some of the younger. Answer crying and Jennifer's mom to start structure, stirring up security people and now that she didn't show up to the morning thing and now this one and nobody can contact or we're getting a little worried. I've been taxing ollinger all day, I'm sure she's. At this point, I am not sure if the lady now that's one of the reasons I wanted to come was that something might happen in the least I could be. Why I dont know intuition we walk of terms Zadig, whose, like the meeting and greeting on these funds
that she and Tailor hung out last night. So I you have anything. Unusual happened his Beethoven's went down to the bottom organised. I think she laughed at about one month about. China has already told you about. I dont know after that. What happened? I know that she message that almighty this morning to say that she was getting sick. I heard the word comment by though I dont know at this point. We basically no two things. Taylor is not staying at this hotel. She sang at some house with her boyfriend Johnny, and we know nobody has been able to reach her all day. The local swat team shows up and they surround healers mom, and there asked here all these questions
straight away. Some of the questions quickly turn to tailors boyfriend Matter October, twenty first on line and later hour away from Oliver Photo Security, daddy's dead, in addition, ass the picture round to the risk of getting things they tell tellers mom. Look if we find her will call you she's, exhausted she intent or leave the Marianna, which leaves me alone in the halls of the hotel, where I keep getting stop by teenage Taylor fans who I interviewed earlier in the day and they all really worried. They asked me if I know anything they are hearing these rumor
that Johnny may be got Taylor high on heroin. Maybe she o deed. I dont know what to tell them. I'm this point. I just want to find a quiet place. I step outside into the pool area, just close my eyes for a second music stretched. I opened my eyes to see the most obnoxious spectacle. I've seen a playlist live There's a guy in a pink speedo named standing Andy dancing around holding a boombox while his friend rubs doughnuts on you there's a cameraman of course filming the whole thing: please
I think about how somewhere inside the hotel, the Swat team is probably going door to door with a picture of tailor its five p m. I had backed my hotel room and the moment I walk in. I gotta tax from terrorist mom open twitter. Now Taylor has posted a tweet. She safe and she's, actually pleading for found, Sir forgive her. She says accidentally gluten. She goes on. I let so many people down today and I don't even know how to begin to make up for it. If you are a playlist and care to the meat up. I was supposed to be out. I want to meet with you all in a few hours. If you want to give me another chance, she tells her fans meet me at the hotel, driveway ape
are Taylor, I my mind Are you guys waiting for I just want to say because, like die, you're gonna die when local. Now I'm really when there was a few minutes and suddenly they see her. Why are you here? Taylor walks into the room,
way. She's wearing the sea through black romp are printed with red roses and the girls just are fanning themselves with their bare hands. She is talking fast, seems, nervous, freaked out. Here fans telling Taylor. I thought you were dead and she says: oh fine, I'm not your fan after fan, using their like one minute with Taylor, to tell her how much like her? They are like how they too, love animals how they too have issues with anxiety and then one family Seen earlier she gets it, rather line toxin. Taylor takes a photo, and then I see her walk away. Hang on You tell me no prying, no,
all I need my eyes or watering them so like here, butter or pay for good. I did everything I wanted it Taylor sold dealing with a long line of fans and after what feels like several hours, I go up and say hello. She seems kind of blank like Her eyes are just glazed over her mom comes up, and ass if she's doing, ok now, none of us again is a moderate level. Water young has been here. I get back and tell her, so she still not feeling great. She needs to find a bathroom, so we go inside the hotel. There's hordes of people watching some other Youtube or Taylor. Six she's about to have a panic attack, and so I tell her you want.
Let's just go to the bathroom in my room, it's on the twenty first for the elevator, To this I pointed to the bathroom, I'm just gonna she's in there for an extreme. A long time and when she comes out, I think this sexually the only time I'm gonna be alone with her. She looks completely. Drain thou, so I tell her listen. I know we talked about doing an interview, bad habit. We just sit on the couch forsake. Take a breather. This place is very crazy theory. I say Father LEO when I first walked into the when I, like your parents, like I just when I first walked into the hotel, the lobby yester. When I just got here. It was like
so that the lobby look like and and just like how is he in an jumping up and down. He was, it was a Youtube earth. It was his walking through the he is walking Daddy Connie you just walk through the lobby and that's the people, this mass stereotypes, and even hidden announced that he was walking the re election tweeted Mercosur. Anything in that people still happened to be in the lobby, recognized amendments users, training the alarming people Poland at home and jumping on omen. Once upon a time Taylor was only teenager trapped in her bedroom in her parents house as you
making videos and these videos got her so much money, a boy friend, adoring, founds and now The two of us were in this Marianna Hotel Room felt like I was watching her realise the full terms of the bargain she'd made hi, I'm like at this point in time. It might be while I ran like in your home somewhere, but really because at home, I dont have a lot of time to adjust. Shell first of all I live with. My boyfriend so have much alone time ever because we're in what apartment together, so he towards he does music. But when he's not to and he doesn't leave the house unless, like we're both going somewhere. So I dont Arab China, shall I say I myself other than like when I take a bath or something like we see the same bad, I like he's always around constantly, and then I have all my animals and I'm constantly have to think about and feed and take care of and clean
breathing, and so your man sexting, but I just saw the big bad here- waiting widens waiting, ok, coincide, worthy in front and registration of them back to the madness after this organised May and must also go back to my boyfriend's. We're we're, staying and he's texting that at the bar and really wake him every one in the house laughed so now I cant get it into the apartment
yeah? You harms ass eager. Second, I just said I think she just needs a man, sir, my yourself about them, one not smiling. Yes,
I'm so after couple minutes they leave, and at this point I tell Taylor You can just stay here and whatever time you need she It's down on the couch and stares at the wall, I sit on my bed and awkward we read a magazine story. She continued staring at the wall for the next forty five minutes. And finally, she gets up Johnny's text. He says: come to the bar pick me up
We say goodbye and she leaves sheep. Eliminating is a producer for Russia, yeah.
Reply always hosted by Pga Vote and me Alex Goldman. Our show is produced by even if in any Viennan, Damianus, Katy and Anna for we are enter is Jessica. You are editors Our team, Howard and Sarah errors very quickly. I need your help with something we are not going to be producing new episodes in August. Instead, we are to be running some of our favorite episodes of the show ACT, where do we running some of your favorite episodes of issue and we need your help? Picking, those favorites figuring out. Whichever says we should play so if you want help us go to reply. Got limo, slash August and take our one question pole and tell us your favorite reply. Oxen thanks, we were mix by Red and Bobby Lord checking by Michel Harris this week. Truth he wanted to think given Gwynn our former intern, who did a ton of work on the story,
Thank you too Stephanie she and the any pet tubers who talk to her. All the critics and all the tail in fence, particularly Tony. And unicorn she has to Channel called its Tony. David Hernandez, who, as you too Channel called David, H, Z, official and ten thirty. Tailors brother who the channel called everyday dean. His mom strongly recommends it in that you should start with a video called capability. This boy is amazing. The theme song is by the mysterious break master cylinder met labour is driving with the windows down and the music up, you can find more episodes of the show on Itunes, Spotify or wherever you get your PA guests, thanks for listening, who sees him fitbit.
I still have the slow motion check and you need to put it back in there, but only for a second, not even a second. The moment in time will stretch out for me and I'll be able to hit the switch at the exact moment, the box lights out wherever we land, that's the planet is making this box afflict out. So let's check it out clear trainees eating their it
Transcript generated on 2020-02-13.