This week, with the help of tech reporters Ashley Feinberg and Katie Notopoulos, we venture to one of the darkest places on the internet -- our own search histories.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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its golden Alex, we're back me yeah, feel like not working on story for a couple gave me like an incredible reserve of story: energy and now I'm getting to expend at all in the world which feels awesome. you're not, and that is why you are going first, yes, so today's episode, I actually called an expense and as opposed to a story- oh god, I am intrigued so there Rapporteur, HU names actually find Burke she's been on the show before we. We talk to her about her uncanny ability to find secret social media accounts of like powerful government figures and celebrities she makes us look like. We have absolutely no idea what we're doing only show our she makes us real junior larceny, but I wanted to talk to me She had recently started a
newsletter on Sub stack, called trash burg. Ashley again did Harry you and I wanted to talk her because there was an article on their couple weeks ago. That was just like my this brilliant and deceptively simple idea which just had to do with like the weird shit, but she Google's ambrosia years ago, when I first realized that, like Google, with saving every single serves I'd ever made in its legal itemised less that you can decide Gothard unemployment. I started looking like searches from like years and years ago and went to sleep Taken aback by like how much I remembered like why I had like search the term like fish penis like some other bang five, why had you search the turkish Venus Ral? where's the thing a few years ago, we were the other guy having sex with a fish given malice,
Don't worry about it, yeah guy having sex with a fish tat- and I don't know- I haven't back my mind that I like to think what a desperately areas into alike search through other people's, far too serious to rethink its very it's the same sort of like unguarded and sort of. things are doing when they think no one who is judging them is walking. Then I think it's just a very liberating window into like a person the thing that I find so funny about the idea is that it's like on is the lack of context that it gives the universe of light, comedy of errors movies where, like a person, gets an accomplice. Using position where it was like their cheating on someone else and that we are no wait. I can explain yeah so actually has this idea. She wants to go through other people's search histories and she's. Ok, if I want to go through other people's search histories, it's only fair that I, let's only go through my first, so
she got a friend of hers, a rapporteur for Wired, whose name is Kate nibs to go through two weeks of her Google search history and the article that came from it was just like so funny. It was like very vulnerable and weird, like she was searching for things like ancient goths the main Nazi doktor Jesus Trump, Barbara Bush, cellphone Jesus Veratrum, yeah she's, like this weird window into What is on people's minds and how they use the internet right right? It's a little record of dislike every random small for you. Ve had like when you that Roma sleep in your like? What's that thing, and so with action, His blessing? We have a new segment are producer fully agreed to join, but not too air, her search history with us, but to sort of be like the lifeguard keeping us from like swimming out.
far into weird internet waters, and I dont have there- are gonna- be like this, but I sort of caution this one feels very much not for kids. So if you have kids listening, it's just like gross internet stuff, maybe maybe they can sit this one out low level, gross internet stuff thought about it again I welcome them first instalment of our segment. We are called Don't you wish? You were incognito reply producer in a fully hello, hello, Michael Alexander Goldman, just Alex mounted today I really yeah we just now what is written on your person? it's as my little Alex Goldman, so Alex isn't chirp or anything I feel like. This is like the kind of thing that people are going to use to. Like a look up. My my like my address and come to my house. We don't have to go that far
just think of interesting because it's like I don't know, I would have a six produce adequately its critical, but we are here for specific reason: yeah we're here for the zoo cigarette and, like you I said I am the lifeguard for this whole thing and as part of my duty as a life guard, I'm gonna walk you through the rolls before we bring on our guest number. One is no editing deleting for studying your searches before handing them over to the other person. Number two: is you can't just give like a single page of Google search results or Youtube search results? It's gotta be like a week like a lengthy period of time. The third rule is that
me and the rest of the file team will have access to both yours, Alex's and the guests, Google and Youtube search results and then, basically all we're gonna do is talk about a bunch of the D Fred searches that you guys find funny interesting whatever. Let's do it and obviously, in order to get this thing started, we need to invite on our very first in a girl guessed. The first guest is creating a topless who is the senior tech, Greater Buzzfeed NEWS and was on an episode show a couple years ago. She was the author of this incredibly difficult red list for many years, called the fifty worse things on the internet. So, like her, I think that she goes pretty deep as far searches go. Ok, let's do it is he or she is a warning? I a little bit of a on. I have a little bit of it.
Nickel lag where I'm going computer and I must raise my work computer and so I have forgotten, the young calves, It's a long into area there, so Alex Katy Ready the other thing a try. Yes, okay, I didn't they So have you done this with other people? Yet no notice? You are maiden voyage. The first thing I'm curious about is just like. We asked you not really look at your search history, but you had to Lake Compressor. Like a pdf or whenever a son to us, the Winkie must have seen some stuff and I'm curious how it felt the little use all wooded. What did it feel like when you re looking at it bad? Yet it may me sort of think of like the different levels of like, what's embarrassingly array like there there's one level that like did, I google, like
you, know, what's this rash on my but kind of the inner like something that might be like true embarrass, like very obviously embarrassingly of weird medical thing, but then I think this I was trying to think of like what actually feels like you would be super embarrassing. I think that some of the things I, would finally embarrassing would be like Google in the name of like acquaintances or something that feels that we have here. Also socially awkward was like I'm sure I definitely do, and everyone does, but it makes you feel like you're creep. The other thing felt embarrassed by which I was not expecting cause. It's like. Please something I do all the time is like that. What a lot of fuckin dumb top ten horror movie videos. I observed some of that No, no, I read it. I guess yeah, I'm! I just want to say Katy. I think you sent like twenty pages of your Google search history and, like ten of your you too,
history Alex use up like a hundred page as something yeah yeah. So there a lot more. I just want to know you ve, but by night, and the thing is interesting: we it made me- and I haven't looked at mine I know already what is going to make me like actually feel really bad about my youtube. History judgement is that it's going to reveal how much I've, let my child large you too, which is not something I am proud to be. I understand that I think we should go out and get started Alex, which of kiddies, Ouch history items you wanna talk about. First, a lot of your Youtube searches seem like they were for kids, but there are like a couple that they're they're, a coupled per in particular that I was like are these four kids? Are these four Katy and if their four kids like what is the deal
unlike the first searches. I want to ask you about because you have tons of them. Are fur nerve, gun videos on Youtube, yeah, that's as what a personal our they? What what videos? So I have a almost five year old son and he absolutely should not own Enerve gun, nor should he watch videos about nerve guns, but those two things at the only thing that he desires in this world. there's some have not gowns arrangement person. You a big now where the concept of Afghans years ago he isn't he had anyway. I'm edict they are if he has a handgun. Isn't like. There was appointed the beginning of the pandemic. I think you know everyone was like a little bit like
AIDS Pandemic. I guess we'll let the kids watches not screen time. They want where language out. In a movie every afternoon, when the pin Ariane and like I had a new baby at the time like I had a baby it made was like here just taken. I've had and you can watch you do. I dont care and that's where he first like started watching this nerve patrol stuff yeah. I saw a lot of nerve patrol what is now patrol, like literally the who, like the worst worst worst thing on the internet, possibly like it. If I could ever make like a fifty earthen things that will be judged on their fertile videos, it's like it's one of these videos of like it's a family that like makes videos of themselves like acting out scenes, shooting nerf guns at each other, and I once I like her life as I say: ok, actually, you can that's bad to know. He can know what
there were like so many can. We watch one nerve, but Europe will battles with dodgeball a guy. I think that the set up here is that, like something bad happened at the playground like there is a volley dodge while guys mean oh you're gonna play dodgeball. Oh, it's like a grown up.
Hitting a kid with about where the nerve guns they show a little bit later. Ivy this. You know what it's like. It's like. You know in a poor, now, there's the set up of light the guides living the pizza first. This is the pizza. Ok, so let me ask event pitch it: oh, it's Chuckie Chunky, Doll, Joker, but it's up to what is going on, and I mean this is a classic example. Like it, the plot makes no sense its purely just lively, Dodge signals of things. The kids are interest. Lies you mean guy in dodgeball. You missed, show I'm gonna get further in this thing: control much emergencies that that's different or move too good. To be true,
candid and sitting at a desk chair throwing a police wings uniform and behind him as an arsenal of nerve willows, blown hopeful, so ok I'll be down there. I think the worst dregs of like kid bait two, so it exists in this sort of women all universe. I spoke to someone else who makes nerve gun videos sort of interesting possibilities
the story on. Then they have to link exists in this like tension of they don't want to make their video so family friendly that they end up on the Youtube KIDS Abbe, because we might not make as much money yeah. So they gotta keep an adult enough to stay on adult you tube, but they can't make it so realistic that it gets demonetized but yeah. That's a feeling that the amount of like Youtube, and especially that kind of all you do is probably my most embarrassing, like deepest deepest darkest shape before we were figure of migrant goes a long glamour touch them. Right away. Ok, so Katy. What do you want to ask Alex about Cerveza research whenever you search one, I think our search more prolific stomach ache. So I like what I liked is then there
a lot of things where you can tell by the timeline that you can. You can like figure out where your mind was girl, like you start on one surge and you see the like stepping stone to the next one like you can see the thought process did it out and then some of them one kiss you don't So there is one where you in the morning searched compost, toilet cleaning, compost, toilet and then not long after HALO, slash up up up up up ok. Algerian describe what halo, slash figures, show HALO disease but videogame franchise, which I really love. I think that there are some of the best video games ever made, but I find due to play them Alex I mean I
have played all of them. The last one came out with five or six years ago and there's another when they're not like you, don't like repeat them. I don't I don't know I'm so I would a halo three as a game. I plead several times I, I really like HALO. I think it is incredibly fun game to play. It also raises very dense and pretty impenetrable storyline like its base, we nonsense like it doesn't make any sense to me. I've played all the games. I should understand it. I don't understand it. What I do know is that the main character in the game is named is named. To achieve a John when seventeen you might have seen John one, seventeen slash recommend that my answer to you is this: gigantic body, armor and
basically always wears a helmet. You never really see his face. You don't know what he looks like Andy talks like this and he's he's a real bad ass, an only talks about saving the world and he never gets above a little a whisper. Let me just show us whether these covenant Seymour fanatical than the ones we fought before some deal when your plane are you master achieved yeah your master chief he's like a character that stand in for the player and has like no personality Adina. It part of this actually within our thinking about.
Our thinking about a conversation I had with actually find Borg actually working time, a rule. Thirty four. This notion that like if it exists, there's poor another right, Slash VIC, is just an fiction that is porno, graphic or, or that is sexual in nature is last, though I think slash is specifically gay. Is it I think so I think canal Nikolay. It is, although, like it's the you know, if it's the traditional like Spock and Captain Jim HA, but that would still makes sense of the hill universe. Could it's mostly like motto: Marines running around
and I'm staying to myself like. I know that rule thirty four says our port of everything on the internet, but they can't be like this character, such a blank slate that he can't it can't exist like what are they going to write about? How are they going to give character to this like absolute absence of character, and what did you find? I found a lot actually like there's tons of stories about master chief having like romantic relationships with people with aliens in the story, with characters from other franchises. Unlike they dig at like I'm, I read some of it. I read that the naughty parts basically and they didn't give lake they made master chief way more interesting than he is in the game. Like you know here, longing. He had love, he had feelings, and you know he he was way more complex than just being like a genetically modified super soldier. That was conscripted by
the United Nations Space command into a war with aliens called the covenant, so you didn't see actual like Wales. Report, a graphic images. No, I wasn't. I was just looking for stories, but I guess now I'll see if their report to refugees have to imagine that there is an old, our masters Sheriff HALO, rule thirty four that image church, but so far I'm not seeing I'm seeing like I mean the fingers, Many, since he never takes his helmet off? It's like puff oil deeds wearing a space helmet Are you on rule thirty four dot x x, x, searching know. Is that a thing tat their several sites that are like that that are specifically need for people searching such as yourself? Oh there's a hook
We know that up, oh now, but I think one of the better sites for this I having looked at this kind of stuff before trying to find as this point of and exists is, is this rule thirty four dot? he'll dot net, which has comical words. I really got p h e, oh yeah. I, when I quickly looked at this sight there was in- I don't know, I guess, heard the news, but the pop beloved children's. third Eric Coral, the guy who read the very hungry caterpillar. Yes, he just died a genuine and right up on the little corner of this website. There is a little thing you can go. Very horny cash, I gotta admit I gotta click through back now opens
although my God, it's just the cut the very famous cover of the book, the little caterpillar, but you can see he has a large green penis erect Venus attached. When I was doing, Google images, there wasn't much master cheap were now graffiti, but on par he'll, theirs. a lot of him having sex with, like other masked, how many people so like the main character of the video game. Doom like that and then its it's all of the aliens from the game having sex with each other, but thanks thanks Kitty, did you find out what you are looking for, what the compost toilet I'm curious. You know I constantly think about, like I'm constantly fixated on the fact that the world's ending and then our children are gonna, have terrible lives because the text can be climate wars and all kinds of stuff. So
I I was like I'm always like what can I won't little things? Can I do and then I started reading about compost, toilets and has like this might be a bridge too far from this, like might be too much like hands on poop. For me to deal with. Why Why is that a bridge too far, I mean it's real, oh. It is just like your poop in a bucket with sawdust in it and the sawdust in the papers together and make compost, but it's like Can't you ve got a dump it out and clean it out. I don't know if I could do it like put together, compost and there's the very horny caterpillar. Ok,
he's ok, Alex. What's do one last search? What's the last one you want ascii about me am, I feel so tame compared comparatively, but I see I see what we can figure out this one small, but it's aimed at sea it, it seemed so specific unless there's some free. Unless it's a phrase that I'm not understanding you you, you searched Madonna hates flowers. I was trying to remember said: there's a video of her being handed a big bouquet of flowers and
that kind of flower that at the time, I could not remember the name of this flower and I was outside and I was looking at these flowers, big blue, or why bushy on things, and I was trying to remember what they were called. They could not for the life of me and I I didn't I was like Blue flower. And how can I figure out- and I knew that there was this video of Madonna being handed a bouquet of by like a fan, and then she like hands she's like on a hot makes. It feels like a press conference or something like she's. Do she says? Oh thank you so much to the person than two years during hinges like she selling offended that someone gave her like these flowers, which Adrian just a beautiful, You are the only reason I hate flowers, if your earlier, if you're either allergic to it or if you like so
so rich that you have to invent things to be mad at an. I think yeah she's round to yeah there's spamming period also, just like not like the way a flower smells like like. Do you like the way babies, rough smells, babies breath of kind of flower. He only just talking about. I don't get my face and from shock devils. It's like if you get a like a bouquet of roses from like the grocery store when Amber like. I don't know, but not stick in my nose and flowers if they some if they smell that fuck. That's fine, but it's like I'm not stick in my nose and fastest. It's like what it's like flowers are nice to look at. I don't care how they smell is not what they all small fine to me kick. Can I ask you one more thing: Alex there's one thing: the lake. Jumped out us. I'm entreat berries and cream lad. You you ve got now? I know why you Alex
I dont know why Alex chose. I think he chose to chooses each person sat for a while, just like send his favorite Youtube videos to for a while and so like a week ago, Alex Ray you're. I sent you that if you search berries and cream lad, you'll find a runaway. It's a starboard commercial, we're there these two guys we're standing against a wall. One of them's says: if you try these new berries and cream star Burst, and then you your voice, it excuse me did you did you a berries at the camera, the shots witches and it's like a guy wearing look like Scotland, Ass God in his very like high boots and unlike like tights, any look ridiculous, and then he sings Assad and does it debts and it goes berries and cream, berries and cream. The latter legs.
Is this really isn't actually what it meant was just like whenever I saw Alec some video next, I got a nice little impersonation. I feel that this is a very That was uploaded two thousand and seven, but I don't know when you suspect that was found, but it feels very two thousand and seven sounds like a proximately that likes skittles taste. The bow add campaign. Was aids were heard, fuckin funny one of those skills, as was legitimately, I found it really tragic. It was about a guy who, when every touch something it turned into skittles and everybody in their location. The cool thing you can do with with with skills and he's a cool is cool. and then you start talking about how sad it is that you can't touch anything and there's one line which is a sure comments handed the other day. He'll never see his family again, and I, like My guy, that's so sad and then that the ends with the phone.
In any tries to pick up the phone- and it turns in this ghettos- me gets mad and slams his fists on its debts give up debts anyway. I like dumb shit wherever thanks for coming on doing this Katy. It was a women to have supported both by look at my search, my google search as I enjoyed looking at year, your history, its I felt, I feel like. I know you better and yet not at all. After the break Alex considers leaving his attic.
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five years in a row according to strategy analytics eighty has over time thousand employees experienced in helping keep you safe. They received the most burglar eventually industry and help save more lives than any other home security provider. It's why millions of people trust eighty tee to secure what matters most, no matter what you want to protect. Nobody has more experience, helping keep it safe than eighty t get. The latest security upgrades from the largest name in homes, security visit, eighty tease out com today, Alex Coleman outdoor. Myanmar carry flow hi. How are you. I didn't see there in this video chat revived sitting here for thirteen minutes talking by children,
That's it! I do not like it's true and strew so of actually called you here, because I have one quick announcement I wanna make before we end the shell. Ok, so I had an idea that I want to ask ourselves about, but we're really lucky because you're in New Jersey, I'm in Brooklyn, like things, are changing like it's not that way in a lot of the world but like in York, things are opening back up, we're doing things again and it's made me curious to hear about the people who have been like sitting on changes that are really scary or really exciting. Like are there any things that you want to do man, No I've spent the last year in my attic. Plug and wires in the synthesizers? I'm going to do the exact same thing when I'm done? Are there people that you are going to finally see?
didn't get that I haven't been able to see my mom strength eighty this year, and so you know, I don't think she listens to the shows. I can say that I'm trying to play forfeit partly for her. That's big, the Florida birthday party stemming that you mean you planning. A birthday party feels very big to me. Can I ask like what are your plans for the birthday party I say in planning a birthday party. I more me like I'm planning on showing up, but honestly I mean, even though its small and not life changing it feels really big to go to Florida. Now, absolutely so I don't know that feels exciting. So so yeah, I'm glad you're gonna go see your mom, but actually like the question I have a people is
it was like, as things are reopening in some places. Is there like a big change that you ve just been holding her breath on holding a marathon throughout the pandemic, or maybe your whole life that, as things are changing like you're like finally gonna get to Gaza like? I know that the United States is in the super privileged position where, like a lot of people, are getting vaccinated, things filling their going back to some version of normal, but I know that, for a lot of places. That's not true at all. Yeah things are very different, pretty much everywhere else, yeah and so like, if, if your life still feels like it's completely frozen like you're, just stuck in covid land forever or if it feels like it's just getting worse, I want to know like what's the thing you're most looking forward to when things are to reopen where you are so Alex. Worst people write us.
You should write us at reply all at gimblet media dot, com and use the subject line eighteen months in our backs us, ah
I don't know everybody's starting on me about my attic. I like it up here how many synthesizers. Would you say that you ordered this year? I can count Passer Court contracted storm, the critic guitar, I I can already hear ass fading down on you traded, my only six for private sex
I see this episode of Reply always produced by me. Please away with Vietnam. and Anna Folly. It was edited by TIM Howard, additional help from the rest of the reply. All crew managing dummy remark, Hetty in Jessica, young, we're hosted. Of course by Alex Goldman in a manner Joshi this so was mixed by requiring with backtracking by Matthew Brown. music in this episode is from Break Nasser, cylinder, Marianna, Romano and our scope, men in our theme, Song is by the mysterious break master cylinder special thanks to actually find work.
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Transcript generated on 2021-07-30.