« RISE podcast

134: Gaining Financial Dignity with Stacey Flowers

2020-02-18

I love sitting down and chatting with powerful women who have had an impact on MY life so that together we can deliver advice and experience that I know will change YOURS! Today's episode of RISE is exactly that kind of conversation. Speaker Stacey Flowers is on the podcast and she's here to deliver some absolutely fire wisdom about exactly how to build financial freedom, the secret behind wealth, and what you can change TODAY to start bringing more success and more M-O-N-E-Y into your life. Stacey and I are both passionate about helping women achieve financial dignity so they can care for themselves, their families, and their dreams without relying on anyone or anything but their own skillset. If even just one woman who listens to this episode is inspired to go out and make changes in her financial life, I will feel like I did Stacey proud.

If you want to hear more from Stacey check out her website and follow her on ALLLL the socials @staceyflowers. Also, be sure to catch her at RISE Toronto next month - we still have a few tickets available so grab yours while you can and say hi to Stacey!

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The presenting sponsor of Rice is the procurator, zip recruiter the smartest way to higher Hey guys, Rachel Hollis and I'm here is my friend Trent Shelton was originally. Do I live in the dream? Man? We? U tell listeners, why we're hanging out together. We're hang it now because we are launching a new package straight up and I'm super except that the seller add, if you guys, are not already familiar Trent. He has millions and millions of fans all around the globe who come to him for a very unique style of coaching yeah. Varying rates of the point is realistic and put a stray from the hardened break it,
negative mindsets breakin through a withholding you back in Mostar, we haven't people's lives young for love that so, if you guys want here more you're, already listening on a podcast platform, go subscribe to straight up with Trent Shelton Detroit. Let's go get it. I Rachel Hollis and I've built a multi million dollar media company with a high school diploma and the freedom for me, Can I found on the internet in the fifteen years that I've been building and scaling my company, I have become deeply passionate about helping other entrepreneurs to do the same so each week, I'll be sharing tangible and tactical advice and inspiring interviews with the same intention. Bees are the tools to change your life and your business. This.
The rice podcast. What I would love to know, because I'll tell you how I discuss review but, I think it would be no I'll say I discovered you as I think it was an act of God. I always feel like the universe, just sort of conspires to make things come together. I was watching a Youtube video about. I don't even remember what and then you know how you tube serves up little tiny videos. On the side. I saw your TED talk and clicked on it. and literally within twenty minutes of seeing your TED talk, I had creep on everything about you all mine. I had sent you a dm on industry hum and ask you to speak a rice and the reason I tell that story for you, but also to our listeners, is I think that women's struggle so much with putting
themselves out there and wanting to show off their work or acknowledging it, and if you hadn't put that video on your you tube, we want to be having this conversation so It's a super super important too. I mean talk so much about power stand in your own power by I'm innocent. That your origin story is did not start from the place that you are now so will you tell listener those who you are and what you do in kind of the story of how you got to where you are absolute So what I tell people in the morning, when I do my show is that my name is Stacy flowers, real ass name cause. Nobody believes me I make a living through talking just like opera. I do from the stage and from the state. I talk about happiness in power, I'll? Do it the approaching with me coaching women to be more amazing, and then I do a visa influencing and that's kind of weird sort of our story intersected with you. Finding the TED talk him in finding other content on the internet.
Inside on Youtube. I've been documenting, restoring my financial journey after, like this big, huge, minor mental, like failure in my company starting with me, making about a hundred dollars a month working part time at a cafe. To now, earning about ten k a month net working part time and my company, and they like the kind of gay people that background, because it gives you the sky, but like how I am as a person in terms of the work that I'm putting out, but I think the other thing that really going on in my life right now. That gives a little bit where the backstory that I'm a mom of nearly eighteen year, old, human being, which would fill courageously when you you ever seen, Stacy you need to go look at her and ceremony now. You will not believe it's possible that she has an eighteen year old like I do. I know it. I see it as I verily believe it, and so like I'm in full blown like emptiness syndrome, slash how is my child, almost I legally able to marry in another another adult human being. If he wants to like it just it doesn't make any sense.
So in this very interesting space right now, I'm a company in my personal life with regard to those two things being there, and then but I left know is that I'm one eight, because the deeper we dive into haven't you on any? Graham, I don't know if you do any grandma things are going to talk about. Writing I and the queen of any Graham. It is our favorite conversation here at the office and I feel like when you know someone's number you're, like a We are you and eight seven you gotta be in its yes yea, I'm, an eight seven yeah yeah, I'm in a seven, but I like to tell people that, because before I knew that I was an eight like, I really didn't have a framework to sort of organised a lot of my experiences that led up to this moment, but the minute took it? I was I was now I live, makes it to meet those. It's been there really exciting. So that kind of a little bit about who I am now and like the work that I do now. It's really with Edward super interesting about that too
is that I don't know a lot of women who are eight? Who will confidently claim that number and if you don't wanna, know what we like we're speaking in a language right now, if you please, I feel, like I've talked about ten million times, you can go Google, But if you understand any Graham, you understand, the eight is the challenger, which often I'm sorry. He gets a bad rat, but also the eight is a world changer mother Teresa wasn't a Martin Luther King Jr was an ape like there are, so many powerful aids, but not a lot of women, of course you're you're home. is about power. Not a lot of women will own that. What was that journey like for you right where you immediately like hell? Yes, or did it? Take you a moment kind of come to terms with its give me a moment to come so privately as I can. Yes, I like, since I've no idea. This is who I am right, but it was a very private thing because then I'll
Oh my god, like all of the things that I thought as a kid, their true and lake. Now people not like people are gonna know, and so it was. It took me a little bit like what I like about the India Graham is it gives you liked the ring? that's how you like what what how you are when you're at your best and then how you are when you're under stress, and so when I looked at it. I was just like you know, with Stacy all of these years, that you ve been trying to pretend that you're not an eight. This is what making it hard for. You like this is worth making people's health a bad reaction to you being a woman who is as powerful as you actually are. What would happen you just kind of show up in your full eight no likes the what would happen if you did that and honestly lesson like what happened from you know, with my TED talk going out like that happen so? It's just like that was already out there. So when I started document my financial journey, which would really hard as it was such a contrast to the experience of doing a TED talk and travelling around the world, it was like,
hawk and travelling around the world. It was like. I have these two really contracting expire, and he's been unlike. If I'm gonna talk about it, I'm gonna talk about it completely in that direct came from me wanting to own my anus in being like, even in this space, where I'm starting over at the bottom, I'm still just as powerful as I was when I was standing on stage, delivering that TED Talk and since making decision has been just like the best thing ever? That's why I always like to mention it because just like when you know that at the core of this who you are attack like, why would you why fight it like why why rail against it any more and more and more embrace, did the more opportunities like rise have shown up that I've been able to say? Yes, absolutely. I will surely come to your stage and do my thing: leg, verses, me being, let all pick me choose me. It's like! I don't have that sort of thing happening in my life is much anymore. It's more people are noticing me in their? Like? Oh and I'm like yeah, been here lake basins lightly. The reason you didn't know it's because I was afraid
so really embrace the nature of a because, as you said, most women are not aid. if they are either it's not that easy do because people automatically assume that we're gonna be like this receive leg, zero tolerance, type personality and just like no or woman, I'm just a different tack, woman with a whole lot of power yeah. I love that too, because I think I'm so I'm a three for a three with the wings for how to say you can like understand stuff, but I think I'd had the exact same thing, when I was drowning in this anxiety years and years ago, and drinking too much and terrible coolly mechanisms. I it took a lot therapy in a lot of time for me to understand why that was happening, and
you many reasons, but the core of it was. I am so I'm a three m and achieve earthy. Don't if you are not as familiar with the integrated Stacy and I are but I am the most ambitious person I've ever met I want big things. I have big dreams and nobody around me was like that and definitely no women, and it was something that may in my immediate circle of family and friends, very uncomfortable and so I hit that part of myself like I fully pretended to be someone else to try and please everyone else and made this ambition is like the biggest part of me. I made it very small. And that was a rule of my anxiety for years now. It couldn't have understood it, but I find it so interesting that you talk about something similar with with like one You knew that you were hiding that part of you away, then kind of the whole world opens up. Can you talk?
how, though, how do you step in to power when you have been living in another way right. Ok, so think so I want to say this to about- could speak so like how to step into the power so like one of the things with the eight. So It's like you how you are dealing with anxiety and really back hoping mechanisms? I was doing the same thing because I wasn't being a corsair, so one of the issues with people who are in eight is that their deepest sphere is being controlled, and so they don't like- be controlled at all, and so they challenge a lie and they rebuilt and they real up against things a lot because they attempting to not be controlled, but when you're doing that and your neck, These someone who's powerful. It ends up putting you in very dramatic situations. We then turns into you then having to fight your way out of a lot of stuff. So they are at noticed that lag once I'd like you like. I was in a state of its I'll. This way at the table, when he seventeen experience something called nervous exhaustion and like everything
down like, I couldn't think I could barely get out of bed like I. body was in so much pain that, like I'd like I haven't gone to the doctor cuz, I couldn't figure out the pain and he was just like yeah. You know, I think you have fibromyalgia and I was like that's the freaking lutely. No, I don't think that is not a thing. That will exist in my body like that, is not a thing and it would end it was. It was terrifying for me, because I had had examples of women in my family. Who fiber Madge had so so, as the doctors are trying to explain to me that, like you know, me system is shutting down, and this was going on. I was just like you know what they're to be something that I'm doing wrong in life, because my body is having a reaction that it shouldn't have expressly since the nervous exhaustion was preceded by the peak of success like the peak of happiness, like. I should be on cloud nine right now, but I am in a devastating debilitating level of depression. So anxious that, like I, was like afraid to leave my bedroom, sometimes because I was just petrified of like what would be
there is so much in love with you. I feel like you're we're like we need till. I have dinner for four hours and dry wine and together cuz you and I have so many similar circumcision do you know what was at the core of the depression or or the anxiety at that? time, because I also have experience I getting to the highest high and feeling, like everything got worse, not better. Yes, so the core of it was when I was younger. My sister passed away in our grandmothers home in a fire and we were all in there and we all get but she ended a passing away and then after she passed away. My mom my dad like obviously lawsuits. so there was a bad reaction to that. A mere my sister's went to foster care. So there was this significantly. Of my sister to death and then there was this thing If you can't loss of like my family, because you want to foster care when we went to foster care, it was forever and they can
foster home for all of us that we were split up to buy, to sell for me out and I'm the dead sinner middle child. for me. There was a lot of trauma around losing my family, and what happened is. Is that the success in the joy that I was having mirrored a lot of the fund? enjoy that I had at my grandmother's house, like on the eve of all of that sort of cascading sounds kind of like triggered by your way and its me into the space of like, oh, my god. All of these things are gonna happen, but then also in the background, my family he was going to a crisis in it. Just so happened that they were all like moving into my house, and so not only was at the peak of my success and every single person My family is physically living in my home, so I'm having like this crazy out of body like, oh, my gosh, like this house, is going to burn down and somebody in here is going to die and I'm going to lose my family and it doesn't make sense, but all of the pieces are
ushered in such a way that it spoke directly to my trauma, so my the trauma would like till this out emotionally and mentally. I was responding to the stress and the pressure of the circumstance that high and not really knowing how to organise, organise it, and so then that was can it into the depression, and then it was converted into the anxiety and then finally, I was able to figure out that it was really the post, traumatic stress that had triggered everything. because I was deathly afraid that back something was going to happen to my family, all over again even mean letting them move into my home. It was because I was afraid I was going to lose them and I couldn't allow myself to have this much joy. While my family was in this state of like separated, if you will so it was, it was a very like it was a very challenging sort of it the way that it merely trauma so much, at least in that their possessions that we talked about it was like quite remarkable. My mother
as we say at all times. You think it's really remarkable how much you're circumstance here's your original trauma back. There have been no way for you to get out of this situation, without having gone through what you went through because it was so triggering in so jarring, what is fastest, most effective way to grow your team, just like we did through our new presenting sponsor zip recruiter when talking about them for a while were so excited to be in partnership with them, because I am obsessed with this idea of helping small businesses to grow and scale you can try it for free for free guys, there's like zero risk. It's totally free just go to zip recruiter, dot com, slash rise. It is a game changer for what you can do in terms of revenue and
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hey aren't next. Women's conference is only a few weeks away and if you have never attended before this is the events that will change your life rise is a three day: women's personal development conference, where we laughed until we pay our pans and we talk about things that we cry and we find community and we create the road map to changing our lives or businesses or whatever it is that you're working on. If you want to find out more your curious, what it's all about, I highly recommend you go check out the instagram and see what our community says. You can hear it straight from them. It's at: let's rise, dot, co and, if you're looking for the next one, it's happening in Toronto. On March this through the seventh that's Toronto March. This, through the seventh check out all the details at the Hollis cold dot com. If you have been looking for a nudge, if you have been looking for something to kick start change, I promise this is the thing
Did you know that you had PTSD at the time, or is that something that you uncovered once you started? Yet? Ok, but I thought PTSD about something else. So I thought I happiest de yeah for a totally different situation. I do not know that I have PTSD as a related to my sister dying and then s going to foster care, and then you know just their things that unfolded in the family, so that was that was new to me. I want to touch on that one really quickly for listeners. I actually just wrote about this in the new book was interviewing something recently, a guy who are really admire, and I had asked him if he had PTSD from something he had gone, through and he was like. Oh no, I would never. I would never say, words and be disrespectful to mean that trends and soldiers who who really do have it- and I thought, oh shoe. if you believe that this is something that only happens, and it certainly does happen to our soldiers and our veterans- oh my gosh in in May.
Save ways, but I had horrible PTSD and didn't know that I had it until I was an adult and I didn't understand what it was until I was reading a book about. I was reading, summons biography and they describe their post, traumatic stress disorder, and I was Oh my god, I have all of those symptoms and I didn't know mayan my insomnia, my fear of loud noises, my sensitivity that, like lights and sounds, and all of these things that still affect me to today. I just would love if you are listening to this right now and a just and Europe it there's somethin, that's tugging at you. I want to encourage you to go google it and look at the symptoms because it shows up in it always maybe you walk through just some kind of Sir trauma and certainly like oh, my gosh, the loss of a sibling and you're having a family. but up in all those. Oh, my gosh, of course, so may The reasons are listening to Stacy and I united on this podcast, so that you can go Google, something that is gonna, give you that
rules and the resources to talk about with your therapists or go find a therapist, because Kasza can control your life, Sorry, I took us down a whole other crazy tangier, but we're fills important, oh, so I want to touch back onto this. We started this conversation with you talking about. You are in this he's an of depression and and the pain in your body and how that was sort of the trigger afraid. Not the trigger, but Converse spring for you to the cattle as yet yet had a less. Thank you for that word. That's why I need it. It was the catalyst because I was like there have to be doing something wrong, because when things are going well like even if you're in paying you don't realize that you could still also be doing something wrong and I'll just like ok, so my insights don't match my outside and need to fix this or I'm gonna have five or Malta in that is now thing that I would have I'm gonna be depressed. I'm gonna be bed bow like I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. I need to fix this and I have a whole entire child that I'm
so parenting. While all of this is going on and it's very debilitating, just like ok, I here and I need to figure out how to get out of here with out like without in get out of here and away where I dont come back here because I had gotten sit before, but it was never as bad as this, because I think I had so much more awareness because I have had their pe in the past that the look out super aware of how bad things where and so the first thing that idea is, I was just like. Ok, I know medication tends to network for me because it knows me out and then I can't feel em in. I had this false sense of here then recovery and it and work for me I'll. Just like well, people keep saying food can change things. Let me try food, and so I found this book the ultimate solution, where he talks about an elimination diet and how some foods information and also stuff, and I love the book because for the first and I learned the connection between what we eat and that being Therefore our body like I wasn't taught that so I did. He know that what
was eating- was affecting my body in my mind and all the other stuff. So the first thing that I did was I cleaned up my diet and then what I cleaned up my diet and I found the foods that literally work, accepts me like potatoes. I eliminated all of those foods and then out because those whose were eliminated in combination with me go and therapy, able to gain some clarity- and I just like ok now What are you going to do because you need to rebuild and at the time I could at work I couldn't get on state. I remember I had speaking engagement and I was so depressed that, like they call my name, I went to this. The the microphone stood. And ass. I was looking out at every body like ours. so overwhelm the all I could do was walk at the stage and walk out of the building. I didn't say anything I didn't take a bit like. It was horrible so I knew I was ready to get back to like that level. Work out. Just like I don't know if you can recover from that, but I would just like you me to make money because you haven't been working and you have a kid and have to figure this out. So I was just like okay. Well, I need
storm I financial dignity. I don't have the emotional capacity to you, use my degrees and go to work or use my experience and rebuild a company, but I do know how to work. So let me find a job that will allow me to be able to work, but it won't be mentally an emotionally taxing cause. I really need to focus on healing full time so after so my die was under control than I made. The commitment to restore my financial dignity got apart. I'm job working out a cafe, and then I was just like. Ok, we'll money scenes be a big stress there for you, because the me coming in dress me out, but also the amount of money going out. Stress me outside, like I need to get my finance is an order. What better way to do that than Dave Ramsey and then telling everybody on the internet about it. So I can get some accountability, so I literally like opened up my computer was, I can't internet I don't know how to deal with money. I know how to make it, but I don't know how to manage it and I'm gonna learn how right in front of you guys, because the internet can hold me accountable, n it. What ended up here,
meaning is. I realize too that I feel very welcome talking out loud. That's. My therapy is incredibly effective for me and what ended up happening is that, as I was documenting my financial journey in real time, I really started to clean up my finances and the more my financial dignity was restored, the more by mental and emotional health and healing was brought back to me in combination with my diet. Changes in combination with me only working part time, and slowly but surely like. I was like ok. Well, I feel I can handle one revenue stream and my company. What would it be two monetize Youtube. Since more of you guys are followed me so then I started a monetizing, then I just slowly surely, like rebuilt, a company to a place where I was able to earn consistent enough income for me to be able to resign from working part time at the cafe and replace my income with my company and then I'm working on my company? My income is replaced now, Michael, like now put ourselves back out on the stage, because this is your top tell it. This is really what you want to do, but as you
back out here you have to come back out here with the wisdom that you gain in rebuilding your life. This way changing yourself in this lifestyle, because this is who you really are. You can get back up from this and be anybody else, but this person that you ve been within this very dark season, and so I would say that that's actually them Blake, detail practical way of how I actually walk my way back into the power. I changed my diet. I changed my lifestyle, stored, my financial dignity, and then I went back to using my natural and talents to the world and ultimately earn enough income to be able to afford to be able to take care of myself at a level which, in We need to be able to hear full time. I love that, and am I continued a trip out as you speak, because we use different words to describe these things, but there so much similarity. So if you ask me the two things that fundamentally changed my life,
I have said this many times. It is my health care, healthy and that does not just mean physically. That means mentally mostly as well, and becoming financially independent, those are the two changes everything everything I didn't know that money was also terms like there was trauma around money for me like I did. He know that being financially in secure turned. You to a different person like I had no idea and I'm so I'm like the middle child in my family, but I'm also the only person in my family, that's graduating from high school going to college. So I know I'm loved one in my family, who quote on quote, has made it so I made more money than every person in my family, at least in the last decade, have always made more money than everyone. But I don't I because no examples? I didn't know what I was doing and because I didn't know what I was doing. I was still just as insecure as if I was in poverty are I didn't have any money, and so when I finally
they figured out, how money worked and how to actually manage it. The amount of harm in my body and in my system like actually started having feelings that I didn't. Wouldn't allow myself to have because I couldn't afford to have them like theirs- like there was like a level of feeling that I would like. I won't let myself had those feelings, because I can't afford it and if I had those feelings, they will throw me off my game and I won't be able to continue to make money, so I can survive as soon as became financially secure at. I actually stop living innocent of survival, and I was like what this life of leisure and pleasure, like white, I ate it was the most I do other out, but there without they do other people live did you get any push back from your community of desire? Am deeply passionate about everyone, but women, especially pursuing a life where they are financially secure,
They don't have to worry about finances. They live within their means. They work to grow there, not just to become rich but to grow their wealth, so that generationally were breaking cycles and I get a lot of push back. I'm curious. If you do, you do it as well. No, I didn't I'm not on the financial side of anything like maybe strangers on the internet. More so the push back, but generally no like more. They were more people that were rooting for me and ruining for me to succeed financially been people who were like pushing. like you, don't need to do that or its unnecessary thou yard and have that more people rooting for me yeah. That's interesting, and I wonder why I wonder if it's a cultural thing, though yeah, I wonder if it's a cultural thing like my friends- and I were talking about this- is that the rise conference you have meant you had there's a portion of the work where you talk about fear of failure, and when sitting there I was talking to her now. Just like you know, I wonder if that's a cultural thing, because the
the amount of success that in predominantly why culture at access privilege, wherever you want to describe it, is just like. There's this idea that I'm not going to measure up to my cousin verses in the african american community, at least in my experience like my dad, fears the fear success because I'll be the one who makes it and then I had to take care of everyone, what I'm thinking the same thing, because I remember with my first book I wrote this bonus chapter where I was talking about hustle like hustlers, my love language. I love I've been a US. since the beginning like making it work. So many specifically white women. hated that word hated that word and said that to my friends were african American there were like. Are you kidding like we always decide hustle that is culturally, like you were working for something more. That was a respected thing and so I do think at an answer only because I was raised in the church. two
good girls. Don't hung about money, good girls, oh fine them a husband who will take care. I mean- and I know this isn't true for everybody- and so here. Listening to this, don't get your feathers in a ruffle, but it was true for me. I'm coming from southern coming from a Pentecost who church background. That was what we knew we were put across the? U S so like that was how I was raised, and I think I am so grateful for your perspective- of because I do get a lot of questions about fear of fear of success and that isn't something that I ever have carried like I think I'm probably said this may be a rise, but I got that question so often I never knew how to answer is. I was like all man all I. Why is to get further and further away from my childhood? where we really shovelled financially and where there wasn't anything in the refrigerator and where had to listen, my parents scream about how they were gonna pay bills. Lake
I heard on teller, Perry say once if you ve ever been hungry than you'll never be full, and I always think of, I know it will probably not a healthy way too pursue life, but I am, constantly trying to create, something that makes it safe for my family and for and not just my fear, and these children that I gave birth to but like my family, at work and all of these employees who are counting on us for health insurance, and pay their bills like. I am working to create a level of wealth that everybody is taking care of. So I don't know I'm with you sister. I love. I love their perspective because it is something where, I'm sure you have gotten push back for certain things, but that was definitely something where, when I hit the level success and grow wash your face. Like was this crazy? old thing one of the biggest pieces of getting you know,
beat up on the internet was then I was telling people to pursue making money and that fell in only inappropriate. and if I were you man, if I was a male entrepreneur out- and I was like rolling around my private jet and showing you pictures of that, everyone would think it was great, but because I was a woman, it didn't go over while so at. Why say, that's definitely a thing, so I dont get push back for making money in general in sharing with people that process, but I think culturally, for me it's more about how I make it like there are acceptable ways in my culture to make it If I go outside those bounds, those are the only times that I get a little bit of push back at what quietly you impact that a little bit more. What would be like appropriate and not set like okay, so, for example, like Amis speaker. So in me being speaker, you know like when you first and our speaking like there's a speaker ray and then, as you become a better speaker, there is a better speaker, Ray So there is a little bit.
Our community that says that you should not be paid for your gifts because those gifts are from. God and in them being from God like you should not charge at a certain level, for example. So it's almost, I was they say you can get paid for speaking so long as you are making sure you're using your voice, predominantly in our community and you're, not overcharging our community. So I go for lack of a bank refreshing to a white stage. An did compensated at a really with a really big jackets. I will you sold out- and this is like now, same, give big. They does have the money to be able to pay me so that before the very challenging thing because inside I'm not making up the rules for who has money and who doesn't. I have a is, but the pressure to run my business in a way that is in alignment with some
organisations that can't afford the fee that becomes an issue of pushed back in its just like you kind of have to get to appoint- or at least I felt like I had to get to a point where I didn't make that my issue anymore, I said that's your issued. This is this is the limiting belief that you have around what it means to be african American, because if this organization that happens to be predominantly, why can cut me the check of my speaker fee? Guess what I'm going to go? Deliver this message to organization and you are. I have actually heard that there is a there's, a woman in my coaching community who asked me about this exact same topic and a definite didn't. Have the full contacts that you're giving me but my my suggestion to her was choose to something that you'd deeply passionate about So we have a handful of things here. All his coat at where we will give money, I will speak for the military, so it's really close to my heart, so I will speak for free and have all over and have a certain one of those set aside at the beginning of the year, so that-
and yet people reach out you're. Just like oh my gosh. Thank you so much for the ask. I I have done my whatever you want to call those like I've booked up, but if you wanna submitted something for twenty twenty one, because what will happen is that you will give all your energy and all of your resources and all of your time and it beautiful and their organizations matter and there so great, but you also have built in pay. And a child care of and when you it's like, I feel like an unknown. You have seen as too, but I elegant my business when I started standing firm and say no This is what I am worth and I will not go down from here. Then everything started to but when I it's like you, you talk about power like standing in your parents, saying that you're worth something I would I would Think of it as the amount of males wages that I have spoken on, like I'm sure he met
you re Trent at sunrise, did you get a chance to meet trenches yeah, ok, soon track, and I have become really close friends, because he and I were the box- that people checked two years so try and I were always always ended up on the same sages and I was the only woman and he was the only african American every single time and the rest were all white men who were forty plus always and always in suits and there's me and Trent, and neither one of us are dressed appropriately and we always were like we would like huddle up before we go speak like yeah. We know why we're here we know why they they brought us here, but we're about to show them what's up like we're about to show them. What happens when you? Let you know us into a room, that we are in the right to be on this stage? Guy, I'm so so Pritchett your transparency, because its deftly not something that I thought of before you
and it's it's a challenging thing for people who are trying to build a business like as an entrepreneur like there has to come a point where your life, but this is a business and the suggestion that you made for her is great. That's actually what I do in my company. I have a set number of speaking engagements that I'll do for free or whatever, if he is and everything else like one. Those are gone. Those are gone for the year and then everything else, it's my rate, but I had to do the inner work to overcome the idea that, if of the stages that cut me, the largest checks in a year happen to be predominantly white organisations I had to do that work to not feel like that. That meant that I wasn't using the if their God gave me appropriately, that I wasn't caring for my community etc better and even like. In my training like when I talk to people about becoming a speed, like. Listen, why don't you go make these checks at whatever organisation can afford your re cause, that's actually you're ideal client, and then you can
serve the other organisations that are nearer and nearer to your heart, like I say it all the time like what am I think, just from just from the perspective of someone who's like them, blessed to have you honor stage and we're really excited. Have you on all the stages and if you re C is when now men all will bring your house down. You need a book for everything and she is expensive and he's worth what she charges, so don't even try. A bargain with her you are worth Who are worth worth worth it? So I'm just putting that out there, but for me there is. I am so conscious of the fact that I want to create a stage where Ray single woman who is sitting in the audience, can see herself onstage and I am striving so hard for and we're not there yet weren't, like in all the ways worth we're trying to make sure that we continue to reach for that and where I am conscious that we are not close because
till it really does you know I'm just whatever I would think like that guy grew up in the church, so I always tend to like go back to that in my head. But, like we talked about this idea of the of God, like the kingdom of God, doesn't look like people who are all one color or one size or come like we're all different until my stage reflects that completely, I don't feel like I'm doing a good job with opportunity that I've been given an of that about you and your company, like that's as so admire that about you, your company, it's really is really very heartwarming to know, specifically one didn't I'm fitting into part of your vision, but I'm not fitting into that part of your vision, Jesse. You can check box and fitting in it so that you can actually for free, Your vision and this dream in this work that you are actually doing to change the world, so I am so on like you don't even understand on my side when I got the idea I was like.
I want to make sure that you hear this and that you are honoured with this. You are a phenomenal speaker. Full stop one of the best right now like you need to hear me say that, regardless of anything, You are the nominal at what you do. There are lots of people that we sort of test out and kind of sea, or will this work will that work and there were so grateful for what they did, but they won't be. So that. We bring back just because it takes a lot. Not a lot of people can hold space for five thousand plus it's a very unique gift and it and it's ok of people don't have it, but we only can allow those on our stage. Who can do that very specific, thing, and you can do that so seriously. Stating fight Stacy flowers, dot, com website, every worker, vs the inky
Mank. Yes, of course I am, I not jump in all over the place, but I wrote down some words that I want to touch back on. They think they're so powerful. You said financial dignity. which is not something yet I've heard someone say before and I think it's a beautiful way to describe it. We you explained to the listeners what that means to you. Yeah. So financial dignity for me is as an adult person being able to cover, like all of my needs and my wants my ability to actually be able to do that and do it without stress our worry so one things I hadn't known for a while. Is that, like my ability to earn money was great, but my ability to manage money was really really horrible. So sometimes I can hat like that in the past. I would have a lot of money, but I didn't have a lot of financial dignity cuz. I didn't know where the money was going and so sometimes my knees actually wouldn't be covered. Even I had more than enough money that should have been able to cover it in so when
We started the journey. I was just like you know, I'm not at this point wanting to be financially free, I'm not wanting to be wealthy. I just need financial dignity. I need to be able to wake up know. What's in my account No. What I have to spend know what bills are paid into comfortably be able to say well, is how I'm going to take care of everything without stress, without worry, because, like an amazing I grew up in poverty. I didn't know like thank my mom is amazing, so, like there's like the level of poverty that, like I'm, only aware of that we have now am I wouldn't have money like? Are you kidding me, but I didn't know, and so when I finally did figure out like what, like Poverty is, unlike what being poor now having like have just like. Oh wow, like I need to make sure that I clean up that blueprint, because otherwise, I'm not going to be able to maintain dignity as an independent woman whose attempting to do life this this
me being able to care for my child, like my son, need something I need to be able to say yes to that. That's financial dignity, if he wants think, then I get to use my judgment but a need. That is fine. So dignity when you can, as up person say, say? Yes, I can provide that where this person- and I can provide for myself and for me in singly enough, like I came up with the term because I didn't realize I didn't have financial dignity until one day I was in the bathroom and I needed something that girls need once a month and I, literally was like sitting on the toilet like. I have no idea where I'm gonna go, like how I'm gonna, I don't have any money to go. Get these sanitary napkins like I've. I don't! and I dont know where I'm going to get the money within the time a period of how long I'm gonna be I'm up area itself, and I just just remember, sitting there and being latin. Why like? how could you let yourself get to a point where you have no idea where you're going to get the money to buy it? simply sanitary napkins and it in its in its decision
miss compounded because, like you, do have a job you know money coming in, so I dont understand how I'm in this state, where I can't afford things like. I don't understand the stress, I don't understand the tension and so on women are living in that level of shame. Intention and stress around their money and is not because you don't have a savings. I believe you know have an interesting is because you don't have any financial dignity. You don't know what you're money is doing. You dont know where it's going and you dont know why you're spending the maybe that's a better definition is nobody's ever asked me that before, but that's what the definition is its knowing, what your money is doing, where it's going and why you're spending on what you're spending? And if you don't know that you are, acting in financial dignity, because you will have that moment at the bank, teller or their moment for me in the bathroom where you're like? How did I get? you're, like it, would be different. If I were in, I kept saying to myself tat, I was a teenager different, but I am a fully grown adult with a masters degree I have no idea where I'm going to
this in an even ass. I was I brainstorming and I was thinking of the people that I could ask I was like. Is that my is that ask that I need at what what did I do? It loses yeah yeah. It was a year so is that part of the coaching that you do now or you coaching people on all areas of their life? Is it specific to finance? Tell me about that a little bit? Yes, okay, is sort of like its business coaching. But you know business coaching is life coaching, there's a quote that you had said before that you heard on a package that, like the this level of your put way hot on I'm gonna misquoted, something to the effective. You will not exceed your emotional and mental health capacity or something to that effect. To win I'm doing the business coaching. We inevitably go inside of the life side, which inevitably hits on money because a lot of the women who come to me it's like they know how to earn money in their business, but they don't know how to earn a consistent dollar and I'm If you want a coach to teach you how to earn a consistent dollar in I'm, I'm so big on consistency in the money side, because
when I got sick? I was just like I need to have money coming in, even when I'm sick, I need to have financial safety here when I'm coaching women, unlike I'm, not going to show you how to make more dollars, I'm going to show you how to are coach you to make consistent dollars so that that, you can make sound decisions in your company and inevitably we have to hit on financial dignity we have to hit on we're. Putting your head in the sand. Why don't you want to see that you made a thousand dollars? Why don't you want to see that? What use new bought this ticket? To this event? that was supposed to be a networking opportunity and in turn into anything, why don't you want to see that like we have, to go into those numbers, because so many women have great business ideas and in terms them executing it from a financial place. They don't realize that the shame the embarrassment in comparison. All of these things are eating away at the profits that would otherwise be in your company and issues that you a profitable company. You wanted to be something there
The things you you don't want to have to live to working, business. You want your business to work for you and a lot of women, because I think the way they were educated around many. It just doesn't happen that way, like even me so like so I've been obviously my whole life it in a group Pentecostal as well, and so so. The rows of many women are very, very clear when you grow up in a hostile, and so in my family we had something the idea of domestic days where, basically, on the day on that day you have to cook and you have to clean and got to do all the dishes. I hate doing dishes and in our backyard we had this big field and we had a dishwasher we were, I would like put dishes in the dishwasher and take them out my sister's days or hours take them in gaol: throw them away in the field: Hills Rail one day one day my mom bonus day saw me like take some parts and go through in the field, because I didn't want to wash them and when I came in here
decide. What are you doing out like? Oh I'm watching the dishes- and he didn't say anything then later on that day out like making hamburger helpful or something like that, and I intentionally poured more thought into it because I was like, if I don't cook whale deaths, have wanted me to cook. I saw my bones that also sought me sabotage the food and you just like earlier today I saw you thought the path and now you're sabotaging the fu. What's wrong with you analysis, I I don't want to do this. It was just like you know what you're gonna be a horrible wife, you're gonna be a horrible wife one day, and I was just like. I know you know what I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be rich, which means I'm gonna have to do all of this year, but I say I failed to say, like even like a kid there was this idea of wanting to have abundance of money. Cuz, I'm like a teenager. I maybe like one thousand three hundred and twelve like I don't know and out, but there is
its desire to have abundance of money, but because I was a woman, I wasn't really necessarily like encouraged or allowed to have those sort of thoughts and feelings, and so I find that in my closing client I attract women who want that level of abundance who want that level of consistency. But there's these moments that they had with their bonus data with their mama went whomever grandparents, whatever that crash, where they think they can go financially and what they think they can do, and I'm just like. No, my job is to clean it up and help you build an amazing company. I love that and it's so so necessary. Am again I'm just I'm thinking about these things. I just finished the latest book. one of the things I talked about was that this is not my thing. Obviously, we ve all heard this ten million times you talk about it to, but that you become who use around yourself with you calm, who you hang out with most full stop
and what, if you hours, I've, so many people who listen to those who are business owners or dream of owning their own business? When The thing that fundamentally change the level of revenue that I made in my company was when I started to interact with honour her nurse who had its first are exceeded, where I was in terms of wealth. I was an wit when I would go to a bit conference or something and you would you know there this conference is where the tickets are super, expensive and prohibition of Ben you know do something at that level, but it gave me the opportunity to hear people speak. Who were talking about. You know fifty million dollars when I was only making four hundred thousand and that meters, hearing like another human like our human made Fatima, and that was beyond what my brain could even contemplate and suddenly my worldview got bigger and what I
capable I've got bigger, because I was with someone who is at such a different place and I Do this with my core circle of friends, I am so honest about finances and where, where we are and what we're doing, because I want to normalize for them this kind of frustration, I thought we were just we're. Just hang out we can well sit around and one of my girlfriend said: ok, for real someone exe? to me. How do you? How do you build wealth like I've read something I've seen self, but I don't want to do. Make money like how do I actually build wealth, and I was like our- I literally raise my Andrews sitting. A bar was like, I know the answer, and I didn't know the answer five years ago and if someone had said this, I wouldn't have understood what it meant, but at times back into what you just said said, you make a certain amount of money and your mom he starts to make money for you like you are able to bring in revenue. Like you said consistently,
Are you having to go out and hustle for or ask people you have created a system or press that allows for money to be generated. Even if you asleep, and then you invest that money into the others. Sort of different things, but that money starts to make money on your behalf, but that something that I knew and if you'd all, if you listen to this year, like man, that's not, I don't. I don't know how to have consists. Revenue coming in and I dont know how to control man. You are seemed to say, sir. I now tell you that she had on this topic: go like stop bowling, if you can afford to have someone come alongside you and Hope you with these things, then do it does it will change your business and, if you can't afford it yet do like I did and I'm sure, like Stacy, did back in the day, read the book listen to the podcast watch, the Youtube videos and your answers.
Now like for free to work up to the place where you can afford to have someone help. You elevate, yep, a hunter, percent? Like a hundred percent agree, like you talked about, like the five people saw a kind of describe it as the core five people, and so this and the transition from last year to this year. My core five people, shifty rice, oh you- have come on board. You dont know this. I'm telling you now, but you have come on board as one of my poor five people you're now map here, and I talk about the peer, because this is one of those people that is overlooked so often, but like the peer is so important because they are stand what it's like to be in your industry in that and she's doing what you're doing, but to you, point about being in a room where you were wishing for for you, you were making four hundred thousand, and they were talking about. Fifty million more people to understand is that when you get into proximity of possibility, it changes everything Rachel I came to rise and you have changed everything,
just because of my proximity to you being able to host a conference with four thousand women in the room like Things have shifted in my company just because of that proximity to you just because of you being map here now. You are already sort of like a cyber appeared to me in terms of me, admiring your work and other stuff, but now that we collaborated on the first day derives its like your closer now and now. She's my average in so many people, don't we Invest to get in the room and issues like none are no, indeed to get in the room because, if, like you said when you hear a human say, some it's possible there's something that happens in your spirit. That goes real and it goes. I'm gonna do that too, and I may not do it the way this person did it, but they give at like in am sitting there and I'm like it. Rachel Hollis can throw yet after Bellamy Conference in an arena that, no longer a pipe dream. That is real. the team. That is a real
a thing it's like an but that shit the dynamic in the way that I'm, you know able to do things because I'm moving I'm intentionally saying. Ok, this is MIKE War, five on bringing this person in I'm pulling this person in closer because this person is gonna. Shoot me in that way. Much like you did when you were investing to be in the room where the conversation was about. Fifty thousand are fifty million, because when people comfortably say oh yeah, fifty million is what we're gonna do on the next day. Then your light not even the most amazing about that that expired. for me I guess I remember distinctly the first time it wasn't just the number it was exactly he said he said It's so casually. He wasn't friend of mine. He wasn't fearful, he wasn't a you know, nervous to call his shot. He was just like this is real. Instead,
a paradigm shift in once your paradigm shifts, even though you'll have the cognitive dissonance until you step into it. It's like you can go back. It's like once you ve been stretched. You can go back. No one will ever be able to tell me that you can't put four thousand women in an arena to talk about. health development over multiple days yeah, no one will ever be able to tell me that that's impossible method that something that's impossible, I'm gonna be like I'll. Have you met Rachel? Not you like, but you do but like until you're there until Europe in proximity to it, you'd believed that the person you. Don't believe that you can do it you're like, oh, no, no, that's for beyond, say no! Actually. For me, it's where wages is for whoever is actually dreaming other because before I came to ride, unlike beyond, say, gets to host things in a Rita. That was my paradigm now. My paradigm is oh, no women who speak on stages about self development gets a whole conference, is the area that quick there was the shift whim
only icons to let you know they might be out he's been in the game you like, I will thinking only entertainers git to host things in arenas. to knowing at my core that that is no longer a truth and you not on stage just as comfortable like every day you pop out I'll think she's really doing that blew my mind. I loved it who use around or self we're in matters that are so my so much and I feel like to its worth saying, like are our audience who got to hear you speak in Florida like we still get dams about you been there and I'm sure they locked on you well and are so excited. If you are coming to Toronto. Here in a few weeks, you better get your hearts ready, you're coming to Toronto right, I'm not making that up. Yes, yes, yes, yes, making it up. We out and San Diego in June, like all the things are just gonna, be a traveling. We're just gonna, be a tour group or can travel together. What are you
excited about in twenty twenty. What is twenty? Twenty look like for you? What's the big vision, I don't have necessarily a big vision for work. Actually, this year I decided that I wasn't going to do new sort of vision, new goals or plans this year, and I think it's because I'm in such transition right with my So my son he'll be the first mail in five generations to gradually from high school, go to college, I'm so tender and emotional that lag. I was like. I remember going like doing my strategic planning at the end of the year and talking to a friend- and I was just like- I can't see anything like what's going on. I feel like I'm blind and what I realise that I was actually looking at a blank canvas and I have never experienced a blank canvas before because I you know I was a mom very early in my life, so my whole life I've had you can it or someone else, and even though I continue to consider my son is just in a different sort of us he's like before I fill up back here.
This with what I'm dreaming of doing for my company or for my family. I want to give it some time to just like live in this new space, and this this new transition, so sort of that happening with my son, but even also there's a lot of escalation. That's happening in my company and rather than dictating out the way that I wanted to go. I want to kind of leave room for magic to happen. I don't want to you know, I don't want say: oh well, I wanna beyond these many stages are at this stage by the end of the year, because I add there's something about Blank canvas that I have right now that is so soothing to me that so You'd literally, can do anything so give yours for some time to explore everything. So what put on. There is a little bit more intentional because I also realise, because I've been, I love vision boards. I've been doing them since two thousand and two, like I love all that stuff. so realise that a lot of the visions that I had created in the past week
from wounds and insecurities an lack and trauma and stress- and I am the healthy that I've ever been in my entire life, and I want to live here a little bit longer before I start dreaming, because the path a bill, these things is so upset to me now that I know so my shell short by putting something up on that canvas. That's not worthy me going after right now, so tat I like that. I love that so we have talked. We have talked for an hour. We have I now and I'm excited eminent seriously. I want it. I want to go and have dinner. Maybe we do that one night when we're in Toronto view of time, because I would love to- you talk without something recording us and just here I am but hey. Thank you for saying yes thing, you for answering that dm and being willing to
Ben and absolutely crusher on the stage, and then you know doing this podcast. I know that just because I know how wonderful you are. I am sure that all sorts of people are gonna go want to follow. and find out more will you tell them where they can find you on social and what your website is? Yes, Website is W W W Stacy flowers that com- and I am Stacy flowers everywhere- on the internet, so Stacy, what than ie or no eke set fills important task within e, with anywhere Cato E. Why Stacy flowers and asked Stacy flowers on all the social on all the social awesome? Thank you so We might even taking the time, and I can't wait to see you in Canada. Ladies and gentlemen, did I mentioned I have a book coming out. Here's the thing: it's called get out of your own way sceptics guide to growth and fulfilment and wherein the priest cell window of windows.
I am super excited about having written a book for both men and women about the twenty eyes that I once believed that were keeping me in my own way. I have written this from them effective of someone that is totally different from right Hollis, even if the format is somewhat similar to grow wash your face, I wrote it from the respect for someone who's been skeptical of tools like this book or even the pot Castro listening to for ever and ever its through that lands that I'm talking about the ways that I was getting in my own way and I think in uncovering the true behind those lies. Not only did it me get out of my own way to help you get out of Europe's. There are two ways I want to say. Thank you for preparing this book. I have created an e course penny course. Yes and e course, a sixty minutes each course called finding your. Why it's a fantastic resource. It's available absolutely for free right now for having pure the book and if you
to get out of your own way. The book that calm right now and follow the problems not only we get to eat. You can hear the first thirty minutes of the book again get out of your own way- comes out March. Tenth, I'm super super excited about it, get out of your own way. The book dot com hit that link follow the problems, and I appreciate your support.