« RISE podcast

137: Dave's Book is FINALLY Here! (Get Out of Your Own Way Chapter Reading)

2020-03-10

Guys, I can't believe the day is finally here! After working and hustling and dreaming and planning, the launch of Dave's first book, Get Out of Your Own Way, is upon us. If you're reading this then you can get this book ANYWHERE books are sold, and/or by clicking this link! While this book follows a similar format to Girl, Wash Your Face, Dave wrote this book from a very different perspective: a self-help skeptic who struggled to change his mindset and live a better life. If you know someone who can't seem to get out of their own way ~ MAKE THEM LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE! It just might change their life, like this journey changed Dave's. Listen for an introductory conversation from Dave and me, followed by a reading from the book! I'm so proud of him and can't wait to see this book help people all over the world.

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Something HUGE is coming this month - it's your favorite bus without wheels - Audible Presents: The Rachel and Dave Hollis Variety Show LIVE in Austin + theatres across North America! On Tuesday, March 24th, you can catch the first on-stage edition of the Start Today Morning Show, followed by a live recording of the RISE Together Podcast, ending with a dynamic interview with Dave Hollis about his new book led by none other than his wife, Rachel Hollis. Attend in person in Austin at the historic Paramount Theatre, or catch it in one of 800 theaters streaming the event across the US and Canada. Grab your friends, call your mom, and buy your tickets today! Bonus: All US attendees will receive a free Audible version of Dave's book. Click here to get tickets -> http://bit.ly/varietyshowpod

Dave's first-ever book, Get Out Of Your Own Way, is coming this March! This book is for everyone, and we mean EVERYONE: women who loved Girl Wash Your Face, men who did or didn't read Girl Wash Your Face, personal development skeptics, personal development devotees, anyone and everyone who has a life and knows it could maybe get a little better if they could just get out of their own dang way! The best part is Dave has created some really cool extras, like a FREE e-course, for people who pre-order the book, so get to it! LET'S GOOOOOO! -> http://bit.ly/gooyowpod

Y'all. We are still pinching ourselves about the latest news out of our podcast network - Trent freakin' Shelton has launched a brand new show with the Hollis Company! That's right, Straight Up with Trent Shelton drops new episodes EVERY WEDNESDAY! Trent brings honest, raw, life-changing wisdom straight from his heart to your ears on a weekly basis. His style is so unique, his message so powerful, we just KNOW this is going to be your new must-listen podcast. Subscribe to Straight Up with Trent Shelton on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts by clicking this link!

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The presenting sponsor of rise. Is it sip recruiter the smartest way to higher? Guys it's Rachel, Hollis and I'm here is my friend Trent Shelton was originally I live in the dream, man. We! U tell listeners, why we're hanging out together. We're hanging out because we're launching my new podcast straight up and I'm super examined seller. Add if you guys are not already familiar Trent. He has millions and millions of fans all around the globe who come to him for a very unique style of coaching yeah rearing The point is really. I can put a stray from the heart and breaking through those native mindsets breakin through a withholding you back in Mostar. We have
He was laughs Yang for love that so, if you guys want here, more you're, already listening, unapplied cast platform go subscribe to straight up with Trent Shelton sort. Let's go get it. This is a very special episode of the right pod cast because my husband wrote a book. I did read a book and we really wanted you guys to be able to hear all about the book and so we got special permission to share a chapter of the audio book from Dave's new book. I'm in a stop say the word book get out of your own way, as the very first. This is like. These are the first words of the book. The introductory chapter is the thing. In play in full on this episode, the rise podcast and it feels
saying that we're doing together, because the first chapter is is self help for broken people. Oh my goodness. because I got in two personal development and are realities. Books hindering therapy and Dave was very uncomfortable with that, like. I know a lot of you have partners in your life who are not supportive of your growth, I thought you were getting into witchcraft. No four Although you didn't think I will now I did, but I was. I just didn't believe that growth, the thing that someone who wasn't in some ways broken reached for which is like now sounds like such a crazy thing to think: what's not crazy, it's poverty! like a very when they caught fixed mindset that you think there's sort of two people in the world right. This is: is it curled, whack YAP? So there's six mindset and growth mindset and fix mindset which Dave used to be
believes that everything that you're ever gonna have. You should have worn with an growth my That would just how I have been my whole life is you can learn anything you can and you can create anything you in whatever, and so when I start to really gone this journey for growth. He was like what, what women you identify, that there are these tools that existed in the universe that can help you become better, and I thought someone who needed tools had to first admit that there was broken this or not as like, fully formed. perfect human, that, of course I know it's perfect, but the idea like meeting to raise my hand and ask for help or finding a tool that I can apply to something that wasn't working in my life indicted me for not being awesome, and I didn't like that idea, and is. Started reaching for growth something that I was very frustrated by and it for I think it was just that you
The idea of you waking up early in the morning, but really I can like acknowledge now that I didn't like the idea of you potentially out growing me, which is such a crazy thing, Two! I mean it's a second. It's a super trigger right. I think it's a trigger if you are in a relationship with another person,. and they are in some way sabotaging unhappy with rolling their eyes by like groaning at you pursuing your greatness, probably because the idea of that right, like staying stuck in mediocre, is something the threat is the possibility that you'll stop liking and loving them. When you evolved into the next like level of who you are so if that sounds like you or you're, just a creep, anyone a creep on our relationship and how this exact scenario played out.
please enjoy the introduction chapter two day, palaces new book get out of your own way, a sceptics guide to growth in fulfilment. I Rachel Hollis and I built a multi million dollar media company with a high school diploma and the free information I found on the internet in the fifteen years that I've been building and scaling my company, I have become deeply passionate about helping other entrepreneurs to do the same so each week I'll be sharing tangible and technical advice and inspiring interviews with the same intention. Bees the tools to change your life and your business. This is the right path asked, this is crazy
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zip recruiter, dot com. Slash are I s: e zipper, cruder, dot com, slash rise, sip recruiter, the smartest way to higher. I drink a handle, a vodka in a day and a half by myself, Well, I was supposed to be watching my kids, hello. I know what you're thinking What's a handle a vodka? That's not your first that well I'll. Tell you anyway. it's that picture they sell at Pasco. Fifty nine point, two fluid ounces of roughly forty shots. I drink all the vodka, all of it that of the year after working entertainment for the last two decades instance. That saw me as to our manager for beyond, say. While she was still it s, these child launching tv shows for Fox made celebrity talented, an agency and, most recently working
seventeen year GIG Disney as the head of sales for the film studio I hit bottom, despite being met to my best friend and having for healthy kids, the NICE House and the fast car. I found myself feeling stuck struggling. reaching the low point all started when we decided to go on our most ambitious vacation ever yes, I'm gonna be that guy who complains about a vacation. We rented a Ass for longer than we ever had before twelve days in Hawaii Grab, therefore, kids ages, eight nine, for and for months we are idiots and we took off for parents. Eyes on a flight, I was handed the near final word, doc version of my wife's new book girl, wash your face getting my first glimpse into just how transparent and vulnerable Rachel had to.
added to be, and in the vanity alarm bells kind of way, just how many of my deepest insecurities would be exposed and how much of this everything's great trust me veneer that I worked so hard to maintain would be challenged by her work off. on that first day, racial got sick, and by that I mean demons have inhabited her body. Should we go to the e r? Let set up the quarantine from E t kind of sick. So I did what any good dad and husband would do I left her to rest. I called for a sitter to come in care of the baby grab this book of hers and made, drink to enjoy by the poor weather boys played. My plan seemed so good in a way that now I see is divine. This was a combo platter for the ages, a personal funk running into its second year me being in the early days of therapy more on that in a second,
the decision to read a book that would trigger many of my insecurities that lived and breathed in the funk and therapy ah well drink a series of drinks, one of my issue- avoidance specialities. At this point, it all made for a very bad decision, I got the chapter five, the one that paints a less than ideal version of our early years and casts me in a light that I'm not proud of, and I Lord less soda with the vodka. When I made the next drink by the time I got chapter about how much we struggled and our sex life. I stopped pouring soda at all. We were at the beginning of a twelve David Kay. And though Rachel got better on day three. I never recovered withdrew even more than I had already withdrawn Had it been the morning put on headphones I went on long runs only they come back and keep those headphones on and against the picturesque backdrop of hawaiian perfection. I'd turn on a basis,
video game that I brought and shut myself inside. with another drink, while my family enjoyed the beach front. I showed up like an ass for the entirety of that vacation spiral to the lowest point of the valley? I've been headed down for quite some time, Rachel's a huge farmer market. one morning when she suggested that she was ready to explore the island and hit that market. I told her. I was just going to chill at the house that look on her face HANS, my dream. I want to make a joke about it here, but, honestly, I'm sorry. for that do not showing up for something so simple. It's embarrassing! It sucks I knew it in the middle of it knew it. At home and really knew it when we got back and had to have a talk There will be a handful of moments. You look back on that you can assign meaning to for having had a role and fundamentally changing your life when you met your partner when
You made the decision to take a job and up propelling you forward, etc. This talk This decision, we made that my wife made to wait. Two and have a hard, hard conversation about the trajectory of our lives. That was one of those moments for me. The day after Hawaii we sat on our bed and Rachel worked against ever Out of muscle memory and her being we're both recur, in codependent and convert. station on this scale, isn't something either of us had mastered, but the stakes were too high to worry about that. This was going down. She laid it out in such a simple terms, but those terms rocked me to my core: I'm going to reach for a better version of myself every day, I'm gonna whether you decide to do it or not personal growth is one of the most important values in my life. So I'm going Pursue it every single day.
Are you going to choose to grow every day? Are you gonna tread water If you aren't growing- and I am in three months where we still have much to talk about on date, nights in six months will still make out. As often in a year will we still be going on dates in three years. Will we still be married and quote dagger too the heart. Someone should have yelled clear before she hit me with the paddles to the chest. It was that fast, through a pool of embarrassed. I'm sobbing this much tears. I realized it was up to me to make a choice did I want to grow, or did I want to die did. I want to rise to the level of who I knew I could be who'd. God made me to be I want to have the marriage I wanted to have we, the father I wanted to be. Of course I did. I always did.
I've lost my way, but now now I knew it more clearly than ever. I knew it because I'd been forced for the first time to visualize the possible future. That would result from my inaction. the future that sat in front of me if I didn't take this seriously. If, take massive action to change what I was doing or not doing and here's the thing. even though our most likely scenario was a world where I didn't make changes and simply lived in a marriage where we drifted apart, I still forced self to imagine the absolute worst case in vivid detail. Because I needed the leverage of the most brutal things I could think of to get off my ass and move it off the map. Not having my best friend by my side, switching weekends with who had the kids once we separated continue, to withdraw without my right hand there to hold up a mirror in
I visual position, I went super dark. I saw overweight, unshaven, barely sober lonely version of myself. That could be. If I didn't snap of what ever it wise that was holding me down. It made me sad it made me angry, I felt shame and disappointment. It was just the kind of thing I needed. As the kid say, I was shook pain, can be incredible. Leverage the possibility, under utilizing. Your potential can be incredible: leverage, painful obvious truth. The dear that you could be more got your own way should wake you up in the middle of the night. The idea that you could have been more and might look back at the end of your life. With regret should be this, go greatest motivator you can tap into it seems failure to say that I did never think about Rachel and I'm getting divorced. I honestly hadn't
I'm going to bet that most people don't give a ton of thought to it before they find themselves past the point of no return and wake up to see they become something irreconcilable. The notion of ear reconcile differences as a rationale for divorce was a termite heard, but never given much thought too frankly seemed like a convenient term for people who didn't wanna work hard enough on staying together. How naive of me, when I'm honest I can see now that we were in the early stages of a path that leads down that irreconcilable road. Where why doesn't know themselves anymore? Doesn't she are the same set of values for their life for their relationship. By grace, we were waiting into confrontation, while reconciliation was still very much something we could accomplish together. Don't get me wrong, I
and a good husband and father, but I'd careened, into a slump that threatened everything I built everything we built and to put an even finer points on it. I've been good, but my family deserved great. I've been good and they deserved exceptional.
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honey. You ever take goober. I take goober all that, and what do you do if a ride go startlingly off course? I scream well. That is because you are not aware of ride check own no nicer scream, that's code for Roger, ok, we'll. So, if you are not already aware over, has this great safety feature for one thing, everyone who rides or drives with goober has access to an emergency button in the app that quickly connects them time. On one and if Bialik Dave- and you are in a new bird- that for some reason like it goes off course using gps and smartphone sensors ride check as I go what's goin on it just keeps you like peace of mind, see that's the technology yo. What's going,
I, like the right check, is just one of the ways over is committed to safety, learn more at over dot com, slash safety, that's over dot com, flash safety, but vision, of my future, where I'm not as close to my wife and kids that created urgency. It forced hard conversations with my wife. It required some hard looks in the mere desperate times, desperate measures kind of stuff, and it can me up to personal development as a thing I might need to get out of that right. I could just puke thinking about it. Before I tell you what happened next, let's rewind a few months before Hawaiian when Rachel took her entire team to a four day. Personal development content a full on immersion with all the music and fanfare? She
been spending more and more time, reading books about personal growth and was excited for what the opportunity to grow. Her team might look like in an event like this. I didn't get it, I didn't get the book she'd been reading or the impulse to attend the conference. So I I rolled behind her back and left her to live her best life. While I continued to descend into my worst. I was suspicious of this kind of event in these kind of teachers. Thinking them and their kind charlatans of sorts peddling feel good, mysticism too weak souls. If I'm totally on I worried she'd come back talking about this cool cult. We had the join. Fortunately, for me, it was way worse. My wife came back on. ere she wanted a jump around and do all these inside baseball things that only people who have been kidnapped for four days knew all about, and this thing I didn't get turned into this thing I didn't like. I didn't like that she was on fire what a terrible thing to think, but I didn't I
like it not because I didn't want to be your best self. I didn't like it because it exaggerated since between her now knew better self and where I was, and that contrast felt Worse now than it ever had, she started waking. five a m every morning, every single morning. What was that Kool aid and why in the world did invade our home I figured it would wear off, but it didn't and in a movie her credit for now, even though it really frustrated me, which I expressed with my exaggerated Once when I'd roll over ass, she got up. She never stopped She made a decision to keep doing what she knew was going to make her a better person tomorrow and she did it even though it was bugging the crap out of me that choice the decision to unapologetically reach for a better version of herself. It had an effect on me over time what started his anger
sadly, in hindsight, fuelled by my insecurity that she might out grow me if she continued to evolve, slowly gave way to curiosity what the heck has gotten into her. How come she see, like she continues to grow into this better person. How can she keep doing so much better when I seem to keep doing so much worse conversation about going to therapy came out of these questions, I started to ask, and I was finally willing to address the space between who I was, and where I wanted to be the space between Rachel growing and me dying. It was a catalyst for me to take a first step, as Robert Frost once put it. The only way out is through, as it turned out, I had to get into it and work through it. If I was going to be able to get out of it. Robert Frost has been right about so many things, but this it turns out was his most poignant observation for my journey. If I was
make it through all my crap. There was only one way I had to wade through Dang Robert Frost. So now, a few months remove from her team revival and about a month before vodka villain Hawaii. I start my time on a couch for me. Getting unstuck took lot of hard conversations and even more work, I learned how exhausting it is pretending like everything's great when it isn't, I learned as much as it's possible to change your life for the better. Before any of that happens, you have to dig in to what keeping you from a more exceptional life in the first place, you have to do the hard work identifying and acknowledging the stories. You tell yourself that control your life and keep you running in place. Starting therapy is hard you're picking at school, you're looking at scars, maybe for the first time in a long time that have long past, but maybe haven't totally been dealt with or healed. It's a bit raw you're making
so vulnerable, I'm doing a terrible job selling therapy its work before its extraordinary, and I in the work phase. I had a really unfavourable outlook on this whole idea of therapy. I mean if I went to the gym tell everyone I knew about it. Probably. complain about how sir? I was to remind everyone that I went I'd. Even post video We swing in the battle ropes on Instagram, to make sure me being at the Jim, was known to all but therapy. I can imagine bragging about therapy. I felt sorry for people who needed therapy there's shame wrap in meeting. At least there was for me who needs therapy. For. I went I was positive. I knew the answer: crazy people, weak people, broken people. well, who don't have support of people in their lives, women ladys. Reading this I was a caveman back then, but definitely not men. So much of what was her
they me back at the time, came from how I and I think most of us grew up believing men were supposed to be I showed up as a husband father employ human. So much was connect in some way to society's expectations, either how manhood was model for me or how being a man was taught to me by the old around me this collection of expense, and ran on a loop. In my unconscious, as a foundation for how to be telling me exactly the type of manliness, society calls for in defining masculinity. According to the law models from my youth. This was an ideal I chased, but never quite achieved. I'm the son of a contractor, and I can't nail to boards together to save my life. I don't know hunter fish, I cry. Even thinking of at the end of Rudy. Does that Make me the right or wrong kind of man. I honestly. The one thing I knew about being a man was that real man had their lives together, real
didn't need help real men, sir. They didn't need therapy news, Flash that's total crap. It just is its ally based on expectations. Have been reinforced generation to generation and hard wired into our brains. Failure makes us or its on us as fix everything or vote Ability is for soft people all ideas. We need a challenge and will, in this book I needed an interruption to my regularly scheduled programming, a departure from what society dictates as right and wrong. I needed a tune up, If the warning lights on your car come on, you take it to a mechanic to get the car checked out where the warning whites in my life had been flashing and I've been seeking the warning lights rather than finding a mechanic breaking
warning light shut up for me as I regressed into a lesser version of myself by meeting the things. Do I dare call them feelings bubbling up that I didn't like with headphones. Long runs full drinks, video games and every other form of withdrawal I'd become so pushing my feelings away, that didn't have a handle on what was actually wrong. This uber on a couch facilitated by a stranger whose only was objectivity and lending an ear reed. The warning light systems, I'd suppressed and allowed me to have a fighting chance at addressing what was keeping me from the sense of a film, and I was in search of here's the truth. You can see your guns and keep a leaving that real men. Don't start that that or you can be fulfilled. You can feel uncomfortable about asking for help or even ro, you can feel strange about letting your guard down and become a little vulnerable or you can connect, people, you love on a level that actually matters
so I got over myself and I saw a therapist and yes, it was good. Yes, It was freaking, weird and uncomfortable. At first, I fell dread when I knew I was heading in stumbled at first to be honest and open, to get into a rhythm and out of my head and passed the worry of what other people might think if they knew and then a couple of actions in when I wasn't paying attention it was suddenly no longer a negative thing. I even started looking forward to it. It was a spy, where I could sit with. Someone who didn't judge me didn't correct me, didn't try and explain things and frankly did even at the beginning, really try to fix anything. She listened ask the right questions and sat back as I threw up all the crap I've been struggling with. What did we get into on that couch? The big questions that came up as I was crossing a crazy bridge, the bridge that was going from my thirties to my forties,
is an interesting one for a man, at least it was for this man, two thousand two hundred and forty at more or less gone the way. My twenty year old self, it imagined I'd, progressed well in my career with Mary, best friend, we had a thousand kids in a nice house into the outside world in those carefully crafted Facebook posts. Things were great, but somewhere in the midst of Crossing that bridge, I started asking bigger questions. Those big existential question You only usually ask milestone birthdays, though this time they didn't last for just the birthday week. What am I on this planet, for What does it all mean? Is this really as good as it gets? What was the meaning of the last episode of lost, ok is no answer to the last question, but the others were coming up on a loop and that loop was running at a time when my life had become a bit comfortable, everything seemed good and fine, but I'd have plateaus at work and in my personal life I was being chow.
Do well in this spaces, and by that I mean I'd, stop growing, I didn't, and if I it as that at the time, but looking back the absence of God lining up with my milestone, fortieth birthday, was a catalyst for an awesome meltdown. all we are doing a community wide challenge and it's totally free and I am challenging you to join us. It's called next. Ninety days and how can we be? In original thought for leader for the next ninety days, we're going to need our community we're going to need accountability more than ever So I want you to head over to the Hollis code, dot com, slash next. Ninety
the House code, dot com, slash N T, X, teed, nine, zero and join us every single week Dave and I will be teaching on a different topic. Things like perspective or region for joy or dealing with anxiety in these crazy times. We are going to give you so many free resources and surrounded with community when we did that at the end of last year we had six and fifty thousand people sign up and we feel like it can be bigger than ever. Together in a community of like minded people unless learn how to choose our minds that no matter what is happening in the world around us. I never thought a mid life crisis was a thing for me. It was a thing, a gnarly awesome, battened down the hatches kind of thing that wasn't fine as it unfolded, but that produce some
strawberry fruit and a true appreciation of this notion of fuelling yourself to grow, I mean yes, it prompted me to ridiculously we of years. In way too much money into an nineteen. Sixty nine Ford Bronco that we now effectually call the incredible hulk, but on a deeper level, The experience of going into that valley is something that I am grateful for now I'm climbing out. I realize I'm climbing something that doesn't have a peak. I appreciate It's a never ending growth journey that I'm on therapy softened. The soil. It took a thing that was taboo and turned it on its head and in becoming a negative turned positive opened me up to considering more in the personal development space as it turned out Rachel bodice tickets for a personal development conference. Before we went Hawaii I just started going to therapy was waiting into my mom and against my better jobs.
When I said yes to a thing that I knew had worked well for her, but that I was still on believable skeptical could work for me. I did it to make her happy. It still felt cheese And cultish, and in some way, an affront to church and the faith, I grew Ben being enough to make me hall like seeking at a teacher who wasn't a pastor somehow marginalized my beliefs, plus I had grown, and the same society that most of you did, and I believe that self help was for broken people. When I think about it now it doesn't make a ton of sense the stigma existed in my mind, or in society generally did not apply to all men in all spaces. The greatest. leads in the world. They know. They can always improve. They show up the off season to shoot free throws when no analysis in the arena and hit the weight room like it's their part time jobs and nobody thinks there broken its. Same for the ambitious young account exec, who gets an mba or the tradesmen who picks up new skills on the job site, be
better and reaching for that. Better version of themselves is not something to be ashamed of. It gets them to a place where they scorn points earn more money, stay employ, longer, have status and respect and all the things so In the same rules apply when it came to reaching for more internally. Working at a muscle in your arm does imply that you had bad arms, for they were strong, but for some reason digging in so why we do the things we do, how are motivated our habits? What we focus on that work seems to conduct and something at our core that defines us as either stronger weak, fit for more or destined for less born with. It we're not. But can I let you all in on a little secret All of us could benefit from reaching for more internally from improving our mental health. All of us, even you. When I come to find is that no self help is not for broken people. I was struggle
with broken this, but not broken. In fact, none of us are truly broken. Can suffer through seasons of broken this we have areas that are have been fractured, but we are not broken in and of ourselves. If we know this, picture? We can admit the places where we are damage and apply this after those wounds and once we get out of our distressed places Help is also for whole and healed people who want a richer, fuller life It took admitting where I was damaged in applying us after those wounds, to see how it could help that ever revealed a huge gift once I was out of my right. I saw that the continued application of those tools can also take a healthy version of me further than I ve ever been before. As a husband as a father as a man
now here's the thing if you're already super into personal development, you're up early with a meditation and writing in a gratitude journal and listening to every growth, podcast searching for meeting with Viktor Frankl controlling your mom certain setting your intentions and all the rest, but none of them Maybe new and I've got some better books from more accomplished authors in the self help space I'd like to refer you to, but if you're thinking Those guys are modern day snake oil salesmen who get rich by convincing insecure people to fork over their cash. I git you, I used to be you I'm writing this for the person who isn't feeling what their selling and I'm right because I was there just a moment ago, and been shocked by what happened in a very short amount of time. When I pushed aside my perceived notions of what Sir help really means who it's for and what it can really do for the last few years, have benefited from investing in reaching for a better version of myself, using the two was, I once made fun of
I've changed my entire life left. My job move, my friend really from LOS Angeles to Austin found my purpose lived more fully into and up to the potential that was given to me by my creator and it wouldn't have happened. If not me saying ass to one thing I swore I'd, never say yes to. I went to a personal development conference, Rachel Bodies, it gets and my attitude about going was reluctant and for grubbing until we had our hard conversation after Hawaii I came out of it. I can't two going all in two jumping. and down to doing the meditation and drinking all the Kool aid, it felt like a nice substitute for vodka and frankly, I needed it to work. If I was going to start making my way out of the muck, I still felt stuck in, despite my taking my baby steps at therapy about
week before the conference. I was out back with our boys attending to one of our nightly rituals called ask any question where our boys ask mostly disgusting question. that, I promised to answer honestly. Nothing was off the table that night, my middle son Sawyer, who was seven at the time, asked in innocuous. What are you most afraid of him fishing for tarantulas or scorpions, and out of my mouth fell not living up to my potential cheering up a little bit right now. I'm writing that sentence. I dont even care. If you judge me I've been living below my potential for such a long time living into my very worst fear though, as Rachel and I took off for the conference, I had that conversation with a new loop running in my head admission, I was gonna, go to this stupid conference and I was gonna go all in. I was gonna, go, do it and
figure out how in the world I could live up to this high bar of living into the potential I've been given. Yes, in the end, there were parts that were cheesy and you ass I jumped up and down a lot and yes, it was uncomfortable and yes, it absolutely changed my life. There are plenty of things that weren't for me, but I have to give credit where credit do that conference fundamentally changed the way, I think about self help it offered tools that allowed me to bear understand. Why I do and feel the things I do it shine. A light on the lies. I was believing that were holding me back and it gave clarity on the road map I could follow. If I wanted to take control of my life, I came back on the same kind of fire that Rachel had come back with the first time around. I started getting up at five a m. differently about what I wanted, my life, how I was going to get there, and whose permission I needed to chase after it. I started asking quest
about where else I might find fuel like the fuel I just received and in doing so started a journey that would introduce me to other people in this space, authors and pod casts and couches that would change, my thinking about what I could or couldn't be, how much was possible. And what societal constructs I needed a live inside of, or is it not for me to live outside of to find fulfilment the biggest thing I learned during my time. In self help was the Thai between growth and fulfilment you can fly. Things short term to make you happy, but if you want to be truly for build you need to be growing and in to grow you to put in the time. Do the work and learn to kick the lies. Putting limits on who and what you can be in this book will deconstruct the twenty lies that kept me stock
In the hopes that you might avoid my mistakes as you relate, in fact, we ve just above the first one right here in this chapter- the lie that self help. Four broken people get out of your own way is a call to arms for anyone who is interested in a more fulfilled life, who, along the way, may have lost their? Why and now wonders how to unlock the potential or show up or for the ones they love. In doing the hard work of embracing growth and examining what lies, I believed in why I believe them. I've become a better man for me and for the relationships that mean the most to me in my life, you can to make the choice to reach for more the table a set now, let's get into the lives, we all need to stop believing to get there. Hey guys, we like this book, you can grow literally anywhere it's in physical and audio copies, theirs special additional target and barns and noble, there's a spy
she'll addition on audible, where I'm reading it and then, after I'm done reading it rachel- and I have a conversation about it. But go pick this book It is literally available everywhere. Books are sold. guys it's Rachel, Hollis and I'm here is my friend Trent Shelton was originally. I live in the dream, man, we? U tell listeners, why we're hanging out together we're hanging out, because we're launching my new podcast straight up and I'm super examined seller. Add if you guys are not already familiar Trent. He has millions and millions of fans all around the globe who come to him for a very unique style of coaching yeah rearing. The point is really. I can put a stray from the heart and breaking through those native mindsets breakin through a withholding you back in Mostar, we have
He was left for love that. So, if you guys want here more you're, already listening, unapplied cast platform go subscribe to straight up with Trent Shelton. It's right. Let's go get it.