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142: How to Hold on to the Rope

2020-04-14

Hey guys, this week’s episode gets a little emotional, but I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t rooting for you. In this unbelievably hard time, you can choose to fall back into negative coping mechanisms, or you can dig into what actually works. Let’s show up for ourselves and the people that need us during this season, with some tools from me to you on how to develop better habits.

This week's theme in our #Next90DaysChallenge is Habit! Want the full 45 minute course on building effective habits absolutely free? Just go to https://bit.ly/risenext90 and enter your email to access all fourteen weeks of content, plus a ton of secret goodies, absolutely free!

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Do you have a question for Rachel? Wanna share your work from home stories, or have a question about what to do as you move through hard things? Give us a call! Seriously! Call (737) 400-HOCO, and press 1 to leave a question for Rach or Dave (or both). Press 2 to share a story about your journey - it can be about your Start Today Journal, attending a RISE conference, coaching, or anything you want!

The best part? You only have to share your name and voice if you want to? Let us know when you leave your message and we'll take care of the rest.

We can't wait to hear from you ;)

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Straight Up with Trent Shelton drops new episodes EVERY WEDNESDAY! Trent brings honest, raw, life-changing wisdom straight from his heart to your ears on a weekly basis. His style is so unique, his message so powerful, we just KNOW this is going to be your new must-listen podcast. Subscribe to Straight Up with Trent Shelton on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts by clicking here -> http://bit.ly/trentpod

Psst.... hey you, yeah - you! Have you heard? We're doing a brand new challenge, and it's called #Next90Days. Who will you be 90 days from now? How do you want to show up for your life in that time? Head on over to https://bit.ly/risenext90 to learn the deets and get started.

Dave's first-ever book, Get Out Of Your Own Way, is OUT NOW! This book is for everyone, and we mean EVERYONE: women who loved Girl Wash Your Face, men who did or didn't read Girl Wash Your Face, personal development skeptics, personal development devotees, anyone and everyone who has a life and knows it could maybe get a little better if they could just get out of their own dang way! LET'S GOOOOOO! -> http://bit.ly/gooyowpod

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The presenting sponsor of rise is zip, recruiter, zip recruiter smartest way to higher hey guys, it's reach our houses- and I'm here is my friend Trent Shelton was originally you don't. I live in the dream man you tell listeners why we're hanging out together right now, we're going it now, because we are launching a new package straight up and I'm super except that the seller add, if you guys, are not already familiar Trent, he has millions and millions of fans all around the globe who come to him. For, a very unique style of coaching yeah rearing rights are. The point is really, and put a stray from the heart and break into those negative mindsets breakin through a withholding you back in Mostar, we haven't people's lives young for love that
if you guys want here more you're, already listening on a podcast platform, go subscribe to straight up with Trent Shelton Short: let's go, let's go hey all its Rachel Hollis and welcome to this week's edition of the rise podcast. I am taping mess in my home office where I am and weak five of my family's quarantine. I'm sure, just like you are, I am making it work while I am working from home so shout to anyone who has also figuring out the joys of the virtual workplace this week. I wanted to dig in to a topic that I dont want to use the word controversial because it's not like. I am, I hate drama, and so I don't want to do anything that perpetuates it, but it feels a little bit like theirs.
we have two camps on social media, about the way that we are supposed to be in during this time and I fall very distinctly into one camp and then I know a lot of people who fall into the other camp, and so I want to talk about those things today, but before I wanted dig into that, I want to start by saying. That no body literally, nobody gets to tell you how to deal with a global pandemic. Ok, ok! This is unprecedented. This is a time period where nobody was prepared for it, and nobody has a perfect answer. So if you hear the advice that I'm gonna give an you're like that, doesn't feel right. In my
spirit at all. Oh my gosh, then don't listen to me. I am only ever sharing information. That is what is helpful for me and is how I am processing this time or even before a pandemic, how I process life or learn to deal with things or learn to navigate. So I'm only ever sharing what works for me, and I am speaking from a very specific perspective with a very soon. If a worldview and my own past and my own information that informs the way that I believe so any too. I'm that you're learning from a teacher you should always take what makes sense to you and leave the rest. So before I dig into my view, just be mindful that this is my view and if it doesn't work for you, that's fantastic. There is probably another teacher who was handling what's going on in the world in a totally different way.
Might feel better for you, so that is my disclaimer for what I am about to say and now I'm about to drop some fire some preaching, because I do have a very strong opinion. And I'm gonna share it and you have to know something about me? I am. I grew up very non confrontational that was sort of how I was raised to be in it, so something that I battle against today. But if I really passionately believe in something I will battle to the death for me to take on a topic that I know will rub some people the wrong way means. That is something that I believe in
Deeply deeply- and this is one of those things I Rachel Hollis and I've- built a multi million dollar media company with a high school diploma and the free information I found on the internet in the fifteen years that I've been building and scaling my company, I have become deeply passionate about helping other entrepreneurs to do the same so each week, I'll be sharing tangible and tactical advice and inspiring interviews with the same intention. Bees are the tools to change your life and your business. This is the rise podcast, so there should have two camps when it comes to how people are processing what's going on. If you are listening to this six months in the future, I hope that your life whew, thank goodness, that we are no longer quarantined because there's a virus going around. But if you're listening to this in April twenty twenty, then you will understand what I am talking about so the first week of making the decision to go virtual at our office.
I had a really hard weak processing, everything that was going on and a big reason that I struggled to process it. I will be very honest with you. I believe I shared with you guys before, but maybe your new listeners, you dont, know this about me and Dave, but we are very conservative when it comes to money and finances and we pay for things in cash and we don't do things on debt, and so, when all of this started to happen, I didn't have worry about our family. Very blast, we have paid off our home. Where were we we knew we would be ok, I didn't have anxiety about our family. My anxiety came from my business, so I have tried to be very responsible with how I approach business finances as well, and so we had
If you can't cash reserve and if you're, not a business owner, the idea of having a big cash reserve is that you want to have at least six months of overhead peril. Everything
ready to go so that, if something bad were to happen, you would be ok. Well, something bad happened, the market crash because of what's going on with the virus, and so that first week I could see very clearly what was going to happen, and I can see that the way that the economy was going would mean that a huge portion of our liquid assets in the business that money that we set aside for a rainy day would be eaten up and what a blessing that we had the reserves in the first place, because I know so many business owners who are really struggling because they needed more cash than they had. But the hard thing is that if you start to eat into your cash reserves- and you don't have any plan for more money to come in your going to very soon be out of business so that first week I was like. Oh my gosh- oh my gosh, oh my gosh. What are we gonna do and I am not a person who ever sits with a problem, for
I am a big sir. I am a dewar, I figure it out and so that first week I even go back those of does podcast from three or four weeks ago. Where I talk about this, I immediately went into ok, let's fix it, what we're gonna do what's the plan, how we moving forward, because I take the responsibility of leadership very seriously. This is about my team. This is about making sure that their ok, but even in making those decisions and and and moving swiftly and pivoting fast.
So then, I still had anxiety. I saw I told you guys this. I still had a few days where I drink too much vodka, where I had a second cocktail when I never have a second drink, but I was very stress, and so I fell back onto old bad coping mechanisms to help me deal with the of what was going on, and I had that and then I saw backup I stood back up because standing back up after having fallen down or having made a mistake, having chosen copy mechanism. I wish I did any of those negative things. The choice to stand back up has become so familiar to me that it feels normal now to do that, and so
as soon as I kind of got myself back together and I centred myself again and I went back to my routines and I was starting to feel better as soon as I did it. I started talking about how important it was for all of us to be reaching for a better version of ourselves. I started talking. I told the story of how I was struggling. I told the story of how my great kid habits were the thing that anchored me back to myself. I started talking about how much we have to fight to be a better. Version of ourselves. Even in a season of crisis. I've done a lot of self reflection in the last ten days as I've seen sort of this pushed back on the internet of like. Why is this something I? we also strongly about. Why is this something? Most of the time I would say, Oh, no, you know you do you and sort of like all d me and I'm like no, no, you know why. Because I was a little girl who didn't have people in her life who were
fighting to come back from that that negative place, So I will do this work because there are children right now there are little girls just like me. There are little boys. There are people right now. Who are counting on you to show up and be strong enough and maybe me writing opposed sunset. Or maybe me recording this podcast. oh, she knew and cheering for you and challenging you to believe that you are more Courageous than you think you are maybe this is the thing that's gonna make you stand back up again so hear me say it if it doesn't sit well in your. if you, like, you know what no rage I'm in a season of morning, then I freaking respect that go mourn. But if you are someone right now, who's like I don't like the way. This feels I dont like this anxiety it's it's making me a worse parent. It's making me a worse.
Peter. It's making me feel bad about myself. It's making me Make bad choices like dude you are the one that I am talking to. further that you guys are all over the internet just like. I am right now looking for great solutions and if you're, king, for something to compliment your diet. Andrew lifestyle explore some Cora the car has a queen boutique that complements you're eating journey with the organ. Cole. Food based healthy snacks supplements and heartwarming tease their round out rituals beautifully You know, I'm all about drinking all the water well, you can give your water, a beauty or detox boots with the car as functional beauty and detox water drops at a drop The cars chlorophyll rich detox water drops to your eight ounces of html for an
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Stay strong to stay connected to stay, focused We have to work to inspire, to innovate, to build new solutions, but for all all of this to work. We have to work together at zip. Recruiter, weakened, employers and people every day, but today is different. We are part Ring with first responders government officials, the medical community, the innovators and the manufacturing transportation and food distribution industries to make sure we are finding the right people for the right jobs right now. Let's work together, zip recruiter, dot com, slash work together. See we're doing this week in next Sunday days. That's about habits, habits, the importance of habits.
What I wanted to talk to you about today was how do you stick with habits when its heart? How do you sick with habits in a season like this one, and the answer is that It has been a part of your routine for so long, and I M gonna get into tactics. I promise that I am, but I just, want to establish that first, if this is the thing that people are like, you know why I can't I can't not handle her positivity. I can handle her telling me to move my body and it'll change my mind, I'm just not into it right now. That's ok because me showing up often We as me showing up as the same person. Here's here's what you need to hear the Poor message has not changed. How you get those results has, let me say it again: what you need to do has not changed, but the way
yet the results it just became more difficult. It just became harder for you to get in these habits every single day, because life looks different. Now circumstances are different. Now mindset might be different now, because you have external circumstances that make you worry. Maybe you ve lost your job, maybe your partner just got followed, maybe your partner is an essential work or maybe you're an essential worker. There's a million different stories listening to this podcast right now,. It means you have your own narrative for how this will work out for you. But I know for a fact. I know for a fact that if you live though, rest of this season, however long at last, if you live this season with intense analogy, if you fight to SAM back up again- and
if you say man, I don't know what the world is going to throw me, but by God I am going to try and be the very best version of myself. during the season. I know for a fact that will come out of this stronger than you went into it. I also know for a fact that if you are going to grief- and if you are going to allow yourself to have the space right now, if you are going to that, that is ok but what I want you to understand is that you are going to have to build your self back up, no matter what if you feel like you're in a season of grief, feeling be there, but I understand that the ladder to climb back up is you're going to have to happen either way. So what I M trying to help people to do is to cling to the
rope. Ok, I want you to imagine that Greece is its whole. It's a hole in the ground, and I am speaking as someone who has gone through horrible trauma and grief that has lasted for years and still continues to be a part of my life. It's like your digging a hole and you can find your way out, but the longer that you stay in the whole without at least look hang up without at least holding on to some sort of anchor the longer you stay. There should have been floating around and kind of unmoored in this space of grief the longer it will take you to claw your way back up out of this hole.
And so what I M trying to do as a teacher right now in the season is give people, ideas and tips and tactics about how to hold onto the rope. For some of you, it's coming like time that rope around your way tying and not around it and just having some kind of small anchor to the earth for other people, you might be able to stay positive. Most of the time you might be able to cling to your habits most of the time, but the
why, though, why is major hear me? If you have people counting on you, you can't live in the whole if you have babies, counting on you right now, if you have teammates counting on you right now, look out. I want to be clear if you are going through true grief right now. If you ve lost some one pupil lost your business. If you look at your truly grieving, you have to be able to do that. I'm not talking to people who are going through a true grief.
I am talking to people who are filling their heads with what is happening in the world around them who are watching the news constantly who are wallowing, who are freaking out about what's happening in the world, even though they don't know anyone personally whose actually been affected by it, and you know what I'm talking about an you know such you and
you know what I love you enough to piss you off. If you are freaking out right now about what is happening in the world and it hasn't actually affected you in any way, except that you are safe at home in quarantine, and you can't get the same groceries that you use to. You are not watching your partner choked to death because of a virus, because I can't get air, you not watch it. That's not you. If you are now experiencing true trauma or true grief, you need to hear me right now.
You are so freaking blast and if you have people counting on you, you can not stay down. You can you camp and if you think that you can shut this park s off because we we're not gonna be compatible. You- and I, because I took on the responsibility of being a mother, I did that I chose these babies. They didn't choose to be here. I chose to be a mother and if you chose to be apparent than you signed on for the responsibility of keeping your head straight and staying centred and staying strong, even when its heart. Wanted to be a leader at your company, you signed up for that. you signed up to be a leader for your team. You own your.
Business, maybe you own several businesses you signed on for that. You wanted the accolades that came with leadership. You wanted the money that came with leadership. You wanted that these people went in to a collaboration with you they signed on, and they said I believe that this is something that I can trust to take care of me, and so you have to fight with em thing that you have in you to be strong for them. You have to this is not the time to feel sorry for yourself. If you really look at your life- and you can say that this is scary, what's happening in the world and its hard and you're, not totally sure what this will mean for you, but it has yet affected you personally, but you're, allowing yourself to drink too much
watch Netflix and free cow and spin like how dare you, people are counting on you and yet You are strong enough. Yes, You are brave enough to voice in the back of your head keeps telling you that you need to bow voice in the back of your head is telling you to pull the covers over your head and then in a weeks or months been it'll, be ok. In a few weeks or months you could lose everything, stand back up. Your habits matter, because how you show up in this world right now sets the foundation for every single thing that comes after it. I know that for a fact,.
and there will be people that disagree, and I respect your desire to disagree. But this one this is not the thirty seven year old woman. This is a seven year old little girl who wished that this was a belief held by the adults in her life, so willing to lose fans if it means that by challenging you, I can create some leaders. So let's go. here are some things that you can do to hold on to your habits. Even when it's hard lime fired up, I am fired up, I'm going to go to battle get a fist fight. I don't know how to fist fight, but I'm going to figure it out. Okay for real, going to calm down cuz, I'm all fired up, but these are things that you can do to hold on to your habits, even when
hard luck rise. Podcast is all about this. Idea of how do we level up? What are the tools and tactics that help us become a better version of ourselves And I think that one of the greatest tools- in my life has been therapy. I am deeply passionate about how important it is to be able to talk to someone who is in a part of your regularly scheduled programming. I love getting to talk to a councillor because they are now they don't know my family, they, no, no, my husband, they don't know so they don't have any allegiance or any preconceived notions and having that our to work through, what's going on in my life, has been sacred. For me, it's how I learned to deal with anxiety, it's what I did to manage postponed
Depression is how I navigated the loss of my brother is a huge, huge, huge deal, and if you have been thinking about going to therapy First time or maybe getting back into therapy because you're walking through a difficult season, wanna make sure that you Oh about better help better help is an online resource that matches you with a counselor and it can be a councillor for whatever it is your struggling with depression or family conflict anger relation
It may be, are not sleeping, maybe you're, dealing with trauma or self esteem. There is some one that can help you. They have three thousand: U s license surface across all fifty states, but it's available world wide. You can go on to their website and take a quick questionnaire to be matched with a councillor who deals with exactly the thing you're shovelling with you can talk to your counselor through four different communication modes text, chat, phone or video, whatever you prefer, and you can start communicating with someone in under twenty four hours guys if you need help, stop waiting, stop putting it off start. Looking in two, what's gonna help you get better and if you want to find out more, go to better help dot com, slash rise because rise.
Cast listeners get ten percent off their first month with the discount code. Are I s e? That's better help dot com, slash rise, the first I wanted to tell you guys: is this kind of Member said that what I want you to do it, at the same result, but that achieving it might look a little bit different, so I at this point. You know all about my five to thrive. These are the five things you can do every single day that will fundamentally change your life. If you are not sure what I'm talking about, you can go back a few episodes. I did a whole podcast about
Also, if you don't know what I'm talking about, join our next ninety to challenge, because that's a huge part of what we're doing you can go to Thou Hollis Code, DOT, com, Ford, Slash next, ninety, in any event, five to thrive with these five things that you do every single day. These are grounding core habits that have helped. Over the course of my life, but one of the things that I'm allowing myself in this season is, I'm being a little bit more indulgent that I typically would with myself. But it looks like this, so here's the thing I want you to write down for taking notes be more hard core with yourself on the things that were your form,
negative coping mechanisms and be more lenient in the areas that you know make you feel good, but don't, but don't have the possibility of turning into something that becomes a negative copy mechanism. Let me explain one of my really terrible Kobe mechanisms from the pass was drinking too much. If you have read your wash your face than than you know, this is something that I struggled with, but for me it was a very slippery slope and something that I am very cognisant of today. So I really pay attention to alcohol consumption. I'm also super lightweight, so it doesn't take much for me to feel like I'm having a good time in this season. I am being very hard core on alcohol. More than I ever would, even if I don't feel like I'm struggling just because I can. I know that that can so easily become something bad again, but the flip side is that I'm being more lenient with myself in a way that makes you feel like I'm sort of indulging a little bit, but it's not something that can grow and become worse. So I am novelist sweets person. I am a salty person. I love french fries, I loved her tea chaps. I could eat potato chips like I'm a salty kind, a girl
I don't I liked deserve, but it's not something that I crave and we have had dessert in our house, this entire quarantine and sometimes I've had it, and sometimes I have it, but normally our family doesn't bring things like that and to our house, because we eat very clean and I'm just like you know what wearin we're in quarantine, so I'm gonna be more lenient, but I'm being Lena in an area that I know one would be like a nice of a tree. If I got to have cupcake, that would be a nice tree for me, especially if I've had a really grew week at work, but that's not something that I ever I'm gonna go binge ii because it's not my vice. The flip is if, after really hard weak, I go and have a drink that could
We turn into two or three, so I want you to think of something in your life, because I do think that is very important that you stick to your habits. Lotta people are saying where illegal. Why does it even matter like? Why are you wearing jeans, I cookers about genes? Why we're in a bra when it you know whatever another jokes, but there's some truth to them, and I think that it matters because it reminds Hu, we are, I saw, wake up every single day and I take a shower of Well weekdays and you can shower and it put make upon and do my hair every single weekday, because it's part of my routine and I really want to be mindful of like. If I stick to my routine, then it helps me six other routines, like green Jews and taking my supplements and drinking my water because it feels like I'm fulfil
During all of these promises that I made to myself, the next thing that I think is really important in terms of sticking with your habits is to get accountability. So the easiest thing to do is if you have a partner that you can hold each other accountable for the great habits in your life like guinea, probably our second week in quarantine. We were sort of eating a little bit too many sacks. We were having a good time. This is when I was I I think I bought a bag of tortilla checks at the grocery store and you might think, I'm being a weirdo, but I actually have a problem with towards Egypt's. I will eat an entire bag and I'm your leg years old up, no fulfil its its problem, and if you do that every day, even if you're, not a doktor, you can agree. That's not a great choice, free life, so I was gone a little crazy with the chips and I went stamina like hey. I need you to help me. I'm you know I'm having chaired that you haven't chips and then maybe it becomes nachos. Unlike the whole thing and losing oh, my gosh you're right, we ve been going crazy, so we just would have will hold each other accountable so having some accountability with a partner or a friend is so keen to sticking with your habits. You want to surround yourself with people who believe, like you believe that you need to stay centred that you need to live with intentionally that you need to reach for more. If you don't have that in your life right now, you guys sign up for a ninety to challenge. It is one hundred percent free every single week. There's a theme this week is habits. That's why I'm talking about this every single week, there's a theme there's a classic time, our long class about habits. Last week I taught a forty minute class about joy. The week before was a forty minute class about perspective, and when you sign up for the challenge you get access to all of them in our learning portal is a hundred percent free does not end up cell is now going anywhere. We literally created the content because we knew that our community was struggling and we are doing it for the next three months so through July. Fourth weekend we are doing this in community. There are hundreds of thousands of people all over the world hashtag next. Ninety challenge: if you want to see how people are you.
In their lives, if you need accountability, I am telling you how to get it for free right now, so stop making excuse the Hollis code, dot com, Ford, Slash next, nine, zero! Ok, the next thing that I want to tell you is when you are trying to hold on to habits, you have to be modeling behaviour and seeing behaviour of people who have great habits. So all the saying in the world at this point, but you know that you are a combination of the five people that you hang out with most. So, if who your surrounding yourself with right now is your sister who is freaking out and your mom, who is also freaking out and really negative,
That you're, seeing on social media, how are you supposed to be inspired to be a better version of yourself? You're? Not you need to a have the community around you, but be you need to be learning from teachers? You need to be learning from teachers who are living this every single day who are clinging to.
Their great habits and their great routines and are teaching you how to do it as well. There is so much information. Oh my gosh like you could just go on Youtube and you could spend literally the next week just watching videos that would fill you with great insight. If you want to take another step and we want to set of dig in deeper, have you heard about rise? Live it's the first time we are bringing our conference are wildly successful, personal development conference. We turned it into a virtual event. It is happening on May second streaming all over the world. It is eight hours of programming with me and John Maxwell an end. My let an air Thomas and Donald Miller and Jan hat maker and Dave like it is going to be amazing and the least expensive ticket is literally forty dollars its forty dollars for eight hours of programming, there's all sorts of
ex and add ons that you can do, but if all you did wishes dig in on that day with these powerhouse speakers for eight hours, talking about the idea of courage and leadership, you are going to get so much out of it. So much you guys the influence that you have from teachers and other people in your community matter. So if you don't have any great teachers or men towards pouring into you right now consider rise, live may second, the Hollis co dot com is the pews banner right there at times press the button for life. You can find out all the info. You watch the video you can find out more and if you don't want to do, live off the money, don't make an excuse everything that you want to know how to do better exists right now on the internet for free go! Look it up. Falling back on your habits, is the thing that will sustain you right now, whatever those great habits were, but for all of this started, if you were given in a worker,
Few times a week, if you were adding more greens into your life, if you are spending time in prayer, if you were getting into meditation now is not the time to quit. Issue was Easter and saw somebody posts of people saying like I just I didn't do anything like because you couldn't go to church or because it couldn't be with my family, and I decided to do nothing. People were armed with their kids but like because they couldn't go to a wider family function. There were like, we just decided to link below key and do nothing, and I was like how dare you I'm sorry, I'm I'm I'm sorry you have to understand. And that I know what it feels like, I just know what it feels like to be the one counting on someone who doesn't have it, who doesn't pull themselves through
And so I saw this post yesterday and I was like you know why Easter had nothing to do with you being able to go to church and where- and I stress in view of the christian faith that was never would ease, there was about and yeah. I was sad. We have never had less than fifty people at our house for Easter. In my life truly. And yesterday it was seven of us, my kids and my niece, using quarantine with us. That's our normal Easter, but I still put my heart into. when I saw showed for my life and for my family, I saw fell back on the rituals of what we have always done. This is not the time to throw out everything that worked. You guys. This is the time to do. Egg in to what worked consistency compounds. Consistency com
We are not created by the things that we do with intensity, we're not created, we do not become who we are going to be, because we did something two or three times with intensity. We are what we do every day. We are our habits. We are good, and bad. We are the habits that we do every single day. This is not the time to give up. I dont know what people are. Thinking is going to happen if they mail it in. I don't I truly dont know I dont know. What do you think will happen two months from now? If they just do nothing for two months, I dont know I guess maybe they have that ability. Maybe they have the ability or the finances to just chill to just wait, but not us.
Not you not me if you're still here, it's because you are trying to be a leader to and you don't have the ability to sit and wait. You have people counting on you. You are counting on you you worked so hard to get to your dreams and twenty twenty you worked so hard to get This year we were all so excited and twenty twenty vision and here's what I'm gonna do and here's where I'm gonna go and listen to me. That person is still in you. Those dreams. still there they did not. Go away because This chaos, you can still fight for who you want to be, and the beauty is. You're, not just going to come out the other end as who you want to be you're, going to come out with someone better you're going to come out with someone stronger you're going to come out as someone with more empathy, you're going to come out as someone who is more grateful for their
sings. This season is going to make or break people and who you become is entirely dependent on what you cling to cling to things that are good right, cling to your faith, cling to your rituals, cling to your habits, cling to the things that make you great they're, not big there, not a dangerous they're, not loud. Maybe that's why more people don't do them because they're not sexy, it looks like moving your body. It looks like drinking water. It looks like doing the work on your heart and your mind.
It looks like prayer, it looks like conversation, it looks like you being real being real about how hard it is, but showing up anyway. You are strong enough. You are strong enough. When anybody tell you different and when you try and put positivity in the world when you try and reach for joy, when you refuse. the laid down and die just because it gets hard and people give you crap keep going.
Keep going. They don't have to understand you for it to be the right choice for you and your family, a leader is willing to keep going even when no one understands why a leader knows there, why you know yours don't quit now you are just getting started. Ok, guys! I'm gonna! Stop preaching out you now. I hope that this package was helpful for you. I truly truly hope that you heard something that made a difference in your life and I'm gonna. Ask you to share it on social progress are always free, but it helps so much if other people hear about it. So if there is something that you do
screen shot a picture of your phone and put it on social and tag me so that I can see. Let me know what you thought and let me know how you are showing up as a leader. Next up, we have our necks. Ninety days, teaching sneak peak right after this message from one of our sponsors.
Yeah all. We are doing a community wide challenge and it's totally free and I am challenging you to join us. It's called next ninety days as an. How can we be intentional thought for leaders for the next? Ninety days, we're going to need our community we're going to need accountability more than ever. So I want you to get over to the Hollis code: DOT, com, flash next. Ninety, that's the House code, dot com, slash N T, X, teed, nine, zero and join us every single week Dave and I will be teaching on a different topic, things like perspective or region for joy or dealing with anxiety. In these crazy times. We are going to give you so many free resources and surrounded with community. When we did this at the end of last year, we had six hundred fifty thousand people sign up and we feel like it can be bigger than ever come together in a community of like minded people unless learn how to choose our mindset, no matter what is happening in the world around us,
come back everybody, its weak three of our next ninety days, challenge and its habit. Weak I've got special sneak peak for you from our full course all about habits- that's available now in me now ninety days portal. How do you get out? Says to this magical port, all full of free content. Well, we ve put link in this episode, so wherever you are listening to it Apple Spotify are website. You can click the link that says now Ninety days enter your email and that's it you'll get inside. Access to everything we really so far, plus some fun surprises on the horizon. Not only but you'll be joining hundreds of thousands of people all over the world, just like you who are coming to using this time, hard as it may be to build a better foundation for their lives through positive habits and a stronger mindset. We ve seen so many incredible friendships grow out of our events and our facebook groups, and we really,
next Sunday days to be away to safely virtually bridge, the distance were all experiencing in the world so visit. The link org to the Hollis, CO, dot com right now to join us and now here's a priest, You of this week's lesson on habits. Well, hello, everyone We got here Dave here to talk about habits, its habit, weak. here in the next ninety day, challenge and man. Our habits import, especially during this time I think you know this, but in case you dont know this. Lord eaten. Ninety percent conservatively forty to fifty percent, but forty that ninety percent of the things that you do on an every single day basis are low, Being inside of your unconscious, they are things that you are not thinking about and that means that if you are not consider it of the habits that you are putting into play,
especially during times of crisis, especially during times of quarantine. Where things are totally upside down, then your habits are in fact leading your life. Instead of you leading it, and so we're gonna talk about habits today, because of one I think a super important to understand how to really get to the bottom of what the science of habits actually is. What. Our habits, how do they work? How in standing how they work might actually take a little more control of that. Forty to ninety percent of the things that I do on every single day basis to engineer, though kind of life that I hope where an engineer me you showing the way that eat help, but also just a little bit of help in thinking about how to identify where your triggers, come from right. Your habits are reaction to something happening in your life.
And the more that you can get connected to and understand. why you're triggered where you're triggered, how your triggered, what your usual behaviour is when triggers show up and how to in understanding a little bit more, how you get triggered or understand a little bit more. What you are routine is when you get triggered. Maybe you can free up. Some of the things that have historically been a little more reflux with some proactive whole intentional action. So when you start with this, this is a little bit of a side rout into habits, but I think it's important I want to ask you a question: what are your personal values What are your personal that one of the things that are important to you, If you were to make a list of the five things that you value most in your life you value most in your relationship that you value most when it comes to your health, I am not just talking physical health, but when it
to your yes, physical health, but also your mental health. How do you think you're emotional, health, how you feel you're spiritual health. What you believe me sexual health, how you connect intimately with all of the health threat when you think of how you want to when it comes to your hell's. Why? Do you value what you value. What are your personal bags and why this is important. I will take you back to one of the more important times in Twenty twenty. For me, it was a bit very very beginning of the year, at the very beginning of the year. I went and said a few days. thinking about what my personal values were Thinking about the kind of year that I wanted to have in this year, twenty twenty and I started in in a somewhat strange way. I decided to go looking backward at the times in my life, where I experienced pain
and I wanted to in trying to identify over the last five years of time, where I experienced pain, see if there were any similarities in things that were happening, the variables that we're presents where there were there? Any things that happened consistently during the times when I experienced pain and one of the things it turns out. That was a very consistent variable. in the times when I experience pain over the last five years of time was when the Person I suggested I wanted to be right: the values that I hold and how they might have me showing up, consists ITALY on an everyday basis for myself with a further people that I love that, person that I said I wanted to be was, including ruin there was dissidents between the person. I said I wanted to be, and the way I knew myself to be showing up at the end of the day right. The way I felt about myself when I was
by myself was a fool. Did by this space, this distance, between who I said, I wanted to be what my personal values were and how I knew myself to actually show up right that space that dissidents, the income groups that existed between them personal values and my. Actions was shame was regret, was under fulfilled potential. Was me, not be the person I say I want to be the reason why I want to start with what your personal values are. Is the Answer to what habits should I consider for me showing up in the way I want to start with you actually understanding what your values are what person you hope to show up as consistently. For me coming out of this exercise, such like great clarity moment in my life.
I had the boil down to a pretty simple math equation. I would Down to what I call and if then statement I want to be an exceptional husband. Then I have two intentionally pursue my wife, then my counter needs to reflect my intention for an exceptional relationship with a date then I have to prioritize intimacy. Then I have to put down technology and have conversation. Then I have to create a trust by sharing the way that I'm feeling than I listen before I actually respond when she's telling me something, then then that right- I want to be, father, whose close to his children then I need to connect with them one on one. Then I need to
find a way to put technology down and have conversation with them about how it is going. Then I need to model for them the way that I had hoped for them to shop in their life by showing up for mine, then than then right. If I want to have the kind of relations with God, I would aspire to have on an everyday basis, then I need to be consistent and how I spend time in in the garden in devotional are in something that might have me connecting. If I were, Beale, certainly physically, that right and so the then statement you can do it for literally anything in your life, but the fn statements of my life, were my attempts to close the gap between Hu. I suggest that I'd like to be this many of my personal values and how I have act consistently to create, can grow ones
We, the vision of who I'd like to be and the kind of behaviour is I'd, have to leave it to honour, everyday basis to have person that I know I can be or that I hope to be the person. I know myself to be when my head hits the pillow at the end of the day, hey guys, it's reach our houses, and I'm here is my friend. Trent Shelton was originally you don't. I live in the dream man You tell listeners why we're hanging out together right now, we're going it now, because we are launching a new package straight up and I'm super except that the seller add, if you guys, are not already familiar Trent. He has millions and millions of fans all around the globe who come to him for a very unique style of coaching yeah rearing rights. Are the point is really and put a stray from the heart and break into those negative mindsets breakin through of withholding you back in Mostar, we haven't people's lives young for love that
if you guys want here more you're, already listening on a platform, go subscribe to straight up with Trent Shelton Short: let's go get it.