« RISE podcast

156: Living Your Life Straight Up - with Trent Shelton

2020-08-04

Everyone's favorite motivational powerhouse Trent Shelton is BACK on the podcast and we're covering it ALL: how to connect with friends when things are hard, how to protect your peace, and basically everything you need to know about Trent's brand new book, out today! It's called Straight Up (naturally) and it's for anyone who could use a jolt of motivation in their daily lives. Click the link below to check it out!

Listen to me when I tell you you NEED this book in your life. Go to https://bit.ly/straightupRISE to get Trent's book, out TODAY! Also if you need more fire in your weekly life, did you know Trent has a podcast with our network? You can listen to it here: https://megaphone.link/CAD1044682688

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Look: we've all either been through it, are currently going through it, or will go through it. That's just how life is: once you think you've got it all figured out, it hits you with something you never saw coming. Grief? Check. Divorce? Check. Global pandemic? Uh, CHECK! That's why I wrote a new book all about conquering hard things and coming out the other side a better, stronger you. It's called Didn't See That Coming, and it's available for pre-order here: https://bit.ly/dstcrise

Two of my very best friends are launching a podcast with us! It's called Everyday Lesbians, and it's like sitting down with a couple of your best friends to chat about all the things: funny things, hard things, movie things, things we don't totally understand (like TikTok???). Join Beans and Sami every week for a bit of fun, and listen to the trailer here: https://bit.ly/EvLpodcast

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The presenting sponsor of rise is Zapruder zipper cruder the smartest way to higher
so this week I announced my next book. It's called didn't see that coming it's all about how you put your life back together after your world falls. Apart actually wrote this inside of quarantine, because I wanted something that Ya'Ll could red eyes. You transition out of the crisis of a pandemic and then inside of writing it. My world fell apart, and this is a story of how you keep on going. This is a story of the tactics and the tools that I have used time and time again, when I have gone through a brief or loss or trauma. The book comes out on September, twenty nine and you can find it today you can free order were ever books are sold and, yes, I am narrating audio as always, but if you pray order, meaning if you buy any time before September, twenty ninth- if you go to didn't, see that coming new book dot com, you can get my one our course on how to rebuild. How do you rebuild your life free one, our course plus a workbook that you can print out and utilised to start the process, something that I thought I could give you to be helpful as you transition to whatever comes next didn't see. That coming is when you book, and I hope that you will check it out.
I Rachel Hollis and I built a multi million dollar media company with a high school diploma and the free information I found on the internet in the fifteen years that I've been building and scaling my company, I have become deeply passionate about helping other entrepreneurs to do the same so each week I'll be sharing tangible and technical advice and inspiring interviews with the same intention. Bees are the tools to change your life and your business. This is the right path. So I wonder whether you work but european cast, but our most just want to have a conversation about life. Quarantine life in the climate that were living it just anything that from your heart, you wanna talk about like. DE again. Europe my wife's leg,
the reality of the situation. I think it's am I laughing river. For we are on this point guess I got a message from somebody I'm not gonna say their name on here, but it's really interesting people's response to Oh you mean going through a very public card training in and this break up understood of the different ways, people responded to it, and I was this curious. It was fun, because I knew I was gonna be talking here today and I was like, I wonder how this nurse when it went like too what what it felt like for you to go through coming out of the foul and kind of leg who were those people you thought like oh, were these are my real friends and then croquettes or people who kind of reacting differently than you thought when you go through something hard and if that's an
and you tried had before you a lot of MAR Currency- is the round like when you lose things, because it's all me alive, taught me a lot about. You know who was really told me. A lot about, you know, cared about certain things and all Instead, this light, will you here rock bottom, you was Who is really your life in the attic not for me now start to realize. Like ok, there's this guy, the people who love me for who are you rightly it doesn't matter- was tired to my name. It doesn't matter. You know what I go through, they love for while and then there was another group that I Love me for what I did and who I was, and I knew if I lost that, and I would lose a lot of people I always say, when the benefits investment: U S, when some people's Lord, he stops is out there prepare me a lot for life, I do now. You know what I saw
it was hard. I mean I was disappointed. I was upset and it was it was just a weird space in my life, the shore. I think I am I surprised by, people who have reached out, I think primarily like a there. Isn't there? Is it like a group of people who are reaching out really just on us from like a gossip? perspective. They really just wanted to be inside scoop, warlike know what was going on and then- and I was really surprised by people who reach DOW cinnamon. Position light How can you shouldn't be doing like here? You know this is, for you should call you could end up. Like you, don't know my life for my story, and so that feels you don't know that who us away. We know each other, my husband and I, and so it felt that felt deeply hurt folks. Man that didn't you think that you know and can someone else how to live their life or, what's best for them feels
while there is a like an eye for the first time in my life, because I'm I'm very get it confrontation? and probably this is like me- not being better competition but our Spock people. I couldn't people wrote such that I thought was inappropriate literally just like I do not ever need to receive a collar tax from you again Then I also the push back from The community now This is something I know you ve experienced in your career of doing something that your community perceives as not what they want to hear from you. And the you know today. I posted about the bird and it's a really freaking time to be? Launching a book in this would have been my choice, but you know how these things work get to just decide all you know it. Actually I in changing my launch day and that's not
Papa, she works is so much money and people's effort. That goes into this thing, and so even in announcing the book there were people mediately horrid, just like I'm so disappointed in you, like you, ve. Let me down all these things about my The war is like you, a stranger down feels really- and I know I've seen you get this backlash when you have spoken up about. Show any quality or black lives matter or any of those things that your community will push. Banks are like all lead. Can use It's got a lot of an mirror. In time there has been a big deal for you to be like no screw. You guys, I'm in a speak. My truth, this is the truth. And I learned this just wait, Marcie newly just people in general, the majority of people in Ireland, early on. Is that people are there for what they want from you.
I, and as soon as you, stop giving them what they want. Then it's a problem so I made up my mind a while ago. I'm always do it for me. I was for me, and if you don't like it, then there's always unfollow, but I'm not I'm not gonna. Like a madman, drama myself crazy. I live in a prison to please other people. Like I've done that before, because this is just a reality. Those same people rhetoric, I am pleased by the same people that we'll be there if everything possible rise, so there's a guy. But people, that's gonna Robert, you, no matter what it understood that you know. You're gonna go to our times understands it. You're gonna know maybe some things that go against, but always I knew you know my heart, you know, Sir, if you notice stand for you know who I am and This is what I believe So it s always got me boy, I'm the prize at times when people
that's what I like about a statesman are grounded that pilots to use your falling no more. I can't believe it and I'm just like wisest surprise there. Like what I believe in our talked about like the right thing. So this it's only the people had been today is very few. People want to stop giving someone with they need from you, then they'll builders mission, just as in other words, how was it felt for you inside of like the last four or five miles. I have this condition. Then, with LISA Sybil, you the other day about what it feels like could be a creator on social media in the environment that we're living in so we went into quarantine and then people on their funds more than ever and there should have looking for guidance, and then we see The world like like were still in a state of racial injustice, and
they like how gross that gets on social and the place that people take that to and the reality is the closer we get to the election, the worst. This is going to become like the more device and it's gonna become. How is it for you to be creating and that space right now. Are you creating in that very leaning into it? Or what do you do it so it was suffers. You know, I think, corn say nothing for us, everybody liked it exposed and things then maybe I thought I dealt with ardent even knows there like I've been noticed in my anxiety is like I don't know. If we I'm in a place like anxiety like more than ever in, so it's really maybe really double down on protection. Happy Ethan, during work is this for me. So let me Do you feel like anxiety, is coming from not been able to
out, like you normally would or do you think anxieties is coming from social media unkind of the push back there our biggest relating to pull back from social media access. Think it's like. Maybe so, maybe the pressure of used to be talking about this. You should be sand. There's. Nothing is everything I mean. Leaning on the urine sexes, though it's like you, know, Tristram sport. Right, I'm so we find to figure out. Ok, do play, do we not play in and the obvious to a business things. Things have change, so and you know your mouse you to be the two responsible railways is a lot of stuff like take a break, but also- and I can't take it breaks it so yeah trying to figure out. That is why, like that, that was the thing whenever one person in quarantine, there was so much stuff of leg. You know quarantine in jail or like we're just gonna sit. I hang out until this is over and man. If you are an entrepreneur in this world you
can't you literally cannot, or you will not have a business I am the queen of like having ash. Having read like reserves and savings and all these things, but it that matter, because we are living in a world right now that if you are not producing he's going on for so long, you'll be out of business, which is terrifying, like you said, if you're supporting other people- and I do find it- so interesting, because every single person that I know who is a crime on Social who has an influence on any capacity whether they are. Why lack asian market doesn't matter. Everybody is feeling this pushed back of you should be saying more. You should be speaking faster. You should be. You should have an opinion on every single thing. That's going on in the world. You should have an answer for me like it's like every being on social and such big waves.
Sort of made. People like, I feel them. I have felt at times like I'm like em. I crazy. Do you know I beg of you felt like that with you. People are you like you guys, I don't know it's. It's more what I am hearing this from everybody that I know who creates content, and this might not be like the most positive to tell people, but I'm just like you know it. The council culture right now, and it's like that. You can count on me for not stand at them. Always thing is like show me the way like wire, aren't answer saying I am responsible. Certain things that are more talk about is not my job to talk about everything in the world about still lead to begin right, then it's a push back either way right right. If you speak, they MIKE was back Not if you don't say something pushed back on that slots are we will do, is pure for you, because, at the end of the day, Europe, is what matters right. Keep going back. This am you know how about this a little bit, but some
Things that were happening socially, happening right in the midst of David. Breaking out. And nobody knew that answer I was not in a place emotionally, where I could put anything out into the world, let alone thoughtful and like inside, like I just I wasn't on social at all, and so the maybe the prospect. As for my audience- and I understand why was you're not speaking about these things- that really matter enough deeply hurtful to us because you're not talking about these things, truly was I'm crying on a forward? like I don't have the ability to do anything, and I was so. So am. I was so sad in an angry if my hell for like not being better not being stronger and not being able to have these conversations than I thought. You know why you're allowed to have a moment to grieve right now and let
Let my life be my legacy like allow my work to be one, represents me not a single, well written post on social media because they like a lot of influencers and businesses. Right now are sort of checking that box they're like saying we want to say and then immediately on Monday morning, they went right back to the way things were, and so it feels to me man if we could just if people would allow a little grace to like lead slowly all of us as humans wrapper minds around the new world that we live in and what this looks like and how we move forward from here. It's it's crazy. This hill evolve super cool.
We see how is being at home three kids Maria. Must you have your own space? We open a sort of like in category I dont were laughing relic was so often raised will emerge, you didn't really does rather gonna go will deal with their like me bill, I Marie's sphere. I was a kid. But I am working brass and guilt by an like. You know, so I He's been easier, but obviously has led me to a training, video alike, They do so called everything on the background and so on. But I've learned to just push through it, and so it's been tough with the kids. I think at first you know not being to get out not being able to have an energy released from them in ourselves, and So we try to put some things in place to help us and I think we can adjust it. A bit now but you know has not been easy now sure for nobody, and I think it is so
crazy, like clutches speakers, parents for a minute, it is so crazy to me that all over the place all over the world. And are working from home with their kids. China do third grade work on a with their teacher. I like it, Why old at its and I'm I was if we are listening to his books trend and I are in taxes- and so I you know, Texas is a little bit like you know, we had our shot guns and her whatever you can't tell her to do so part of his life I guess liberals they combine, I might give these taxes are trying to make these kids go back to school. I am, for, I am sure, let's go cowboys and I we thought we're gonna have to go back to school and we're not and self breakin sad cause it's,
Oh I not like do you build complied pull my hair out. It's so crazy training. It his kids, to do work and do your own work. At the same time Go working remotely with Team is the new normal. I know the new normal over here, and I have no idea when it might change. This new way of working requires teams to be more collaborative. Ever they are Monday Calm offers a flexible platform to manage any team project or workflow online, bring your team. Together? So you can continue to collaborate plan, and track your work money, outcome- is a project management platform that makes effective teamwork possible near or far you think all your team work in one place and coordinate.
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these rumours about its features like ok. What do we do in his ears in made a decision on decision on a it's, but it's like. I just think how long it's going last. I I know there's gonna be sometimes repercussion, said the kids grown up in this generate on you find this force education last July. A hundred per cent- I am, I am like that, we're questions of this will be so long for our kids, because number one: how does this change education in general alike? Do you really want? Maybe now I just do my education survive on. You know phone collar whenever, but also I'm so fascinated to see how this affects, this is, maybe I may be being weird, but even think like how does this affect their immune system?
right, so I give you a little kids that would normally be an preschool right now and for a year they don't go out in public, which means are not exposed to germs, and so they don't like it that kind of stuff like what it things that will affect us for years to come that we're not even we can't even see it, they think we're already like both you and I are businesses have been drastically affected. You know there is a time why Months ago you know like rising each other, about how much wrong road like I would freaking pay someone to. Let me go on the road right back. Then go anywhere on a business. Your brain now that would be so fine what like trying to do. You know it is lacking I've been able. I mean you too, which are self David inspired peoples. I was kind of steel, hopefully, but it's not the same as what has been when it was that these species is like my friend prepare myself is this: he sat by
funny how guy his prayers, sometimes in the various ways, totally I think there I mean. I can't Are you the last time that there was eighteen months and not on purpose, I sort of fellow to this, but there is eighteen months where I was on the road every week and that's you off That's no way to live, and so too have had to have been home since March There are the negative parts of that right, but there are also our like man there beauty and the time to read commit to what matters to be with the kids like. There is good news, the seas and even though it's been spent at times. Did you write a new book in in quarantine? Are you added it somehow was done before currency occur? So tell me tell us to all of us about the new back yes, I caught up and is turned into the union,
I wanted to do you know my book that I wanted that for you, a book that was targeted for young adults and just a that's life not though the cornea advise that we got growing about certain topics like this is why you don't do this, but it wasn't like the railways and so on. Straight about The two different things his broken down its well sections that army from everything from relationships to mental health from dreams, Ngos and are, if you like. I don't understand, Well, I know I love the greatest you. I think I a great book, but this book is like me so I got just feel like if you watch my videos you're, like okay yeah. I feel like Trent straight up in this straight in the bookstore. Are these not have allowed people? That's all its aimed at teenagers. I just don't think, the Rome conference
Read it please what eleven suddenly anywhere from week to read, read and understand all these are twenty five, but I really feel like it for adults, too, They may be some the parallels you might be last gonna get his black eyes, some adopted, but it ways are greater than that of and you started Like wasn't your first speech ever you're, like speaking their kids, tell ass. They really like ours, must target. It was schools. Flowers like ours speak anywhere. Savages did up cultures Teacher is an option x elementary, supposing it at first speeches like she likes me some case. This cry, like three pounds and later to it, there was because- taught me how to be straight up, because you know a kid, you can't you care fluff, you can't talk. You know It worries and understand ceasing to be real. Taught me that that will also taught me that you know the things I went to my life? I wish I went ahead. My parents are great, went away why they told me a lot
I will I wish I were just ass. The more straight up top the private it helped me not mix. Mistakes that I may do you there there's all of these studies about the power of kids having men towards them their lives that are not their parents. As we listen to beings and totally different ways if they come from someone besides, you know mom or daddy's, telling at exactly what she was to do. Do you have a lot of ice? It give a lot of younger kids in your community, or is it mostly like their mom, love you and then there, like you, needed earlier this guy. I think I think so, but above yapping demands definitely but enormously protector tat. I was seeing your on mere Kilmer Tik Tok in watching I do not like you, I've been on it, but I just really sorted. Rather than a love me. Are you kidding I
like months ago, a man in the world, but I'm currently- and I just haven't- been on any social, but I love Tiktok and I love to talk for kids today, because I feel like Still, Graham, is this sort of picture perfect everything has to look a certain way and it's like Tik tok like come as you are, which I do love, I'm that's all at our youth needs is something that you says. I came whatever you are whatever into like, there's a place for you here absolutely gambler and a simple things they arrived at the alone also the best current form. If you just want a mindlessly like not do anything, you want a squirrel light. Tik Tok is the jam. How have you liked having upon TAT, I loved it yeah I'm still love me like this bastard, I love it. It's been away from me A therapy release has been away from you
militating along form- is dated things that maybe I can There are social meetings? I don't have the time, and I just feel like is connected and too. He's been normal relationship. Were me with my audience, I felt like you know, so I love it honestly, like any tomboy through something my ok. How can I not just talk about it myself, but how can I allow my situation may help other people so has been european also his education by the people, and what kind of conversations for people who are listening? Who haven't gotten a chance to listen to your progress like what are you talkin about on there everything I would say you know anything reminds us of August some I mean why use the word person of elements that by disrelish and ships friendships, obviously, with the time with a black lives matter of equality, ever think three or four episodes. On that. I'm interview. My dad is different people, an arm like you need to some real top and Phil. I maybe it's like
Your homeboy does Talkin to you straight up. I think a lot of people like yeah, whatever the conversations of the topics that you wanted to dig into most regarding all of that? with the equality and everything so what actually yeah, I'm sure What did business a thing so when it happened, you talk about this is that there happened. You know people will be. The hate me to talk about this is that there are, like I'm, not active this. Obviously, but it's stuff that I mentioned throughout my career with speak like an two thousand and sixteen things that happened to Dallas not talked about these things and audience I wanted them to understand. Sometimes a bit doesn't it is now front door step if it doesnt affect our lives and really don't worry about it. Some the show them like hey, like I've, been through these things, In our experience you know he cried
we have experienced profiling and I just jealous people like it. That was me. How would you feel, the thing that I would like to address the most selflessness like the end of the day. If we in the community are in a world where it's like rolling word of ourselves. If we believe in a whirlwind only are what about me, because that happened to me because I had he been allowed to do this. I would do this. What about me, what about me? They believe in their type a world. We will never fix what needs to be fixed and kids- and this is what really drives me like. I worry about Tristan. I worry about Maya Marley. The world are going to go up there, so I got to make sure I do my part to be able to say. Listen black white brown different non EC status whenever At the end of the day we came is wrong as they were led me. I was sent away. Let's get to know each of us had his heart conversations, tat we ve all been You things like we backers patient,
where our views about it- and I know he vice versa and I think that's what it takes to be able to come together, have some understand absolutely right. You feel like people receive out well, When people follow me yeah well, we didn't want those people anywhere. I always feel like. Those are then, that this sort of goods that what you are saying earlier, a bow whatever. If you're listening to this, it's like whatever it is that you believe and that's the conversation that you need to be elevating and having because conversations that, like I will battle to the deck over this topic, because I'm soap sure about it, and the same goes for you, but when people are king or not even asking typically their demanding that everyone speak to the topic. That is most passionate in their heart its,
yes, as there are some employers who will comment on every single thing that is happening in the world all over the world, because they sort of they feel like that, their required to but I think that that loses its power, because, if you are talking about em single thing. That's happening to me so too, big, noise that your audience is not even picking up, but If you know that these are the things that the person you fall is passionate about that it's like in, passivity, algae BT, Q, elevating black voices like I will battle to the death, because I believe in it so much and if you, and follow me, because you hear me say that I believe that some one who is transgendered or gay deserves the same. A quality that you then great. I don't want you in this. Unity anyway, because we're never gonna see eye to eye, because we disagree on this topic. Sweeping there something really powerful about real
fighting for this stuff that you believe in most, and I just find it wild that people would be surprised that a black man would have. A strong opinion about black lives matter. People are crazy I don't know and you know the funny thing about allowance. What's it, like you say like I'm, not a treaty of water, like I'm, not a person, there follows the Trans, just because I know as a beginning Larry, I know, is remind me some views, that's not what I stand for represent the thing that at all, you know deeply me up. My even when you re like is racism, is anything or ever this land is her life ass, like ass? They looked at the fruit of our life like to me. That speaks anything more than a post anything. Any statement I can put out is look at the front, and yet I see what I'm around see what I represent an
I tell the girl s like. I want to see the fruit you can talk. I won't. Let me see the political life in their solution. We care about what, and I think this is this idea like being in real community with people. I beans found out, then I was getting divorce because she called me to ask me, why had not commented on what was going on? That's how my best friend found out that I was in the worse, because that is the relationship that we have where. She is like because she didn't know what was going on, he's. Ok, I'm just checking anchors. It feels odd that you're not commenting on what's happening. I was like you know, and that now I'm telling her what is happening in my life, but I also think that this is the path, or of having friends who don't think act. Vote, believe look like you look or any of those other things, because
he didn't come. Is she not knowing what is going on sheep? That's that's the role that she plays in my life. Would you do I man? Why are you not speaking on this thing and I'm like this is what happened I'm really struggling in life right now. So happy it was more it's more info and to me that my friend, holds me accounting. Oh and knows who I am and my heart then two million people, on social media. Do you know who I am, and I really do keep coming back to this thing of like I can understand how much not being more vocal about everything that was happening was hurtful to something I fully understand, and if that means that you have to follow me because you're hurt by I I own, that but I go back to this idea of like let let me do work, My life be the last we see. Let me keep showing up. Let me
keep learning! Let me keep elevating. Let me let allow that and you will see what Looking for is just not going you perfectly packaged and written by a publicist go out on social media. Hi. It can be difficult, but if you're, a company that currently trying to hide you face a new difficulties from, if we re opening the doors to finding the right person for a pivotal role, product fulfilment solutions was one such company they needed to hire and organise detail oriented executive assistant, so they turn to our We're presenting sponsor zipper, cruder, zipper critic, powerful matching technology finds people with the right skills and experience for or job. In fact, four out of five m. Horse who post on cruder, get a quality candidate within the first day, and that's how proud
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My friends I mean, obviously you are a very dear friend of mine, and you know this. Could have easily been. You right it could have easily been you and winning Think of these young boys. It could have easily been Tristan. I like fucking hate, saying that that's the tenure but that is the reality could have been means that, It could have been beans. His brother, like my friends, that I think that that's I hate it this, but I do think that often times people the big thank you said they dug acted to somebody that they know they make up stories about who that person was or they try and make it easier for? Why that and how will this? Oh, you know, em with Brianna with George whenever there like they make up these reasons, for why that and say no, because its happening to white people it's not it's not the same way. It's a beans had this sermon that she gave when
This is going on about an the aurora shooting and like it that man can walk into a movie theater until all those people and walk out in handcuffs. My kitchen. Shot up of people and he walked out of hand us alive what someone can it pulled over for us the speeding or during a cigarette out a window or be asleep in her own apartment. Not bothering anybody like it's, not happening to white people is not sorry, you don't need me on this but this is not. The EU the thing I love that reminder for people and I hope that they will listen to your podcast about this of, like these are real breaking people. These are daughters and sisters and Mothers and friends, and you have to make
them a real person in your mind, or it is just gonna, be a statistic to you and it's never going to fire you up, because it's just a news report it has to mean more to you than just like its sorry, now you do. I told people that is, and I had to check because I'm always like that like I'm, always myself be ok before I say anything like what could I do better and hope it. I was saddened by this whole thing is that if you know see yourself as a part of the problem. The you never understand. How are you have to be a part of the solution I m the same level maybe hopefully that people beware giving like. Don't these what is. The matter gave you that sound by my mother. I say my mother, like maybe hopefully long white, beware cancer about or maybe these her bow and what about it? He was. I love. You know this is cancer, other people, s things is stuff like that, like how would you know will be? I will be
how would you only black? How would you feel and happening just do people dispute over our reasons why should happen where you'll be furious, yeah, that's it, that's what you're doing we are trying to justify such You know you want to happen in your own life and that's hard to explain to people like that, they cannot. You know but the mere back on them is like no you're right. I don't know I thought about it like that right and that's the thing is that people say when peace we'll say black this matter, then the push back is, will all lives matter. You know, and it's like yeah all lives do matter, but entailed lives have as much value in the eyes of America as white lives? Do We have to have this conversation about black lives, because it is not equal? It's not an because these things are happening in such enormous rates, and it's not just in terms of these brutality, it's also like the
of women women of color who die in labour, whose babies dot like the how you taken care of in a hospital setting or in the medical, but it's like across the board, its wage disparity, it's on every single level and its sole right. To me that people want to hold so tightly to this lake, like this idea of you you'll talk about white privilege people are like I'm. But I doubt I dont have money. I don't have access, I'm not privileged. I know I'm not caring run privilege and they miss the entire point of what it is that it is there are a million micro aggressions that I know have happened to you that have happened to beans that have happened arose these, like some, my best friend in the world that you ve had it with your entire life right
man I have not had to live with, and that is the definition of privilege that I don't do that if you get pulled over or update gets pulled over. That is a completely different experience because of the color of your skin. I stand as it is absolutely like employees in is not to say, friends and a lot of great and always all evils. I all I'm right on many good guys. Sadly, but I still have like I were like what, if I know, I've done nothing wrong. I literally worry in I'm just like man like. Let me make sure everything is right, because these are stated the hell am I by my dad, had to say like rather Europe, on the right. You got respect authority because your job is to make up your job is to come back to this house. So you better not do certain things, and so always stuck with me. Is like galloping. As the moment. For me, I'm not me over, and you know him and wake up
Why was it paler and for no particular reason and they were like rooms of our car indefinitely, this waiting to get it like free. Judging, because maybe the stereotype Pittsburgh understand stereotypes Lindsey, but our me, import over and the guy was like. What are you? Doin and I was like well, I'm going back to school is like what school you go to and I was like a Baylor, never like what are you really doing like what it like? What do you have in the car like? What are you doing out here this late at night, cuz, I'm going back to school and then I thought of my school ideas that play for privilege in itself right just that they're holding us stored with any sort of active. Let me go so things like that or about the stereotype, a car like. Why are you in this far rather it is, is it is up in I mean I could share hours. It is exciting than I had they're alive. You will understand why why black people are like fighting so
Are you know for this, because it's not just one instant, he knows a lot by products, spears or some other than knowing your family. That experience that only one of my best friends and we got Cuba. We support and that was suffer me because I was the EU is in a position where he might have been in that position, but also he wasn't in position to get killed, and so they were so much pressure with me being in Fort worth, and it's like three years ago was like you to come here and speak out and other stuff, but his dislike day. So those The waste have affected me personally in my life was also a star, and I mean I think This is why, if you're listening to this man, I cannot Explain enough how important it is to being community to do like to be friends with people who are not like you, because I was only five years ago. One of my girl and who had two sons were teenagers. Their black was explaining.
That, from the time the boys were very little all had taught them how to behave in when they were with police if you get pulled over in a car, you keep your hands on the steering wheel. Yes, sir, no man like that the time they were lit, all that this was poor. Of how she raised her son's was how to be safe. Winner couples you over and again this is the definition of privilege, because I live in a world where police exist to protect me. Keep me safe, It is not the same world that you were raised them friends tell me park as I was doing, and she was I knew she was like she never thought about like this? Is why, when I get bored, I run things like a mother got to stay behind. That was our thing like I'm gonna private up is sticking to me, I'm just like all the other, kill? But I'm just like man like that thought of this, even so
It happened in the inner rain sucks man my commitment to this is You bet I wanna keep saying at Essen, keep saying it publicly. Is that the vat answer is Knox. I know there are four for a lot of white people who are listening to us. Have this conversation right now and the end There is not too then reach out to trance. A mile or beans or your black friends, and have them explain to you what you are supposed to do next, because I think that now as a common reaction is sort of. You know as a white person getting very flustered, and you want to do the right thing, and so you go, and you say, tell me what to do, which, in again is putting the thing that I need to own, which is that I was raised in a country that taught me to be
says whether I meant to be or not so then that need to take ownership of that, and I also need take ownership of the journey to because there's a difference in it's a big deal to say like I'm, not racist verses. I am anti racism does it very different. So what I would say right now is that the answer is not to Dm Trance thought. A comment on his staff and be like tell me what to read. Tell me to watch tell me what to listen to their. There is literally so much content that exist right now. For me, but to go, consuming, listen to transplant cassock. He said very credible books. There incredible documentaries, there's so much that you ve arm yourself with the knowledge, do not make your journey and your evolution someone else's thing too. Figure out for you.
Because I do- and I don't know if that's your experience, but I have friends who are like not like on social mainly relate to stop asking me to tell you what to do. Right leg heard so many conversations ceremony the question I was ass. You like, do you feel like it, and this is my friend understand from this. From a library one of you like you fill. It is want to know, because maybe it's going make me feel uncomfortable or I don't know, because I love you then I don't know what to do and dislike, holding it that or this time, probably both. I really think that one of the best books it there's there's two when a little bit easier, I think than others. But white fragility is an awesome book to read
and then the one that is harder, but we should still read it all right, really struggle than she says that the beginning, you will struggle reading this book is whites. Lemme see me or me in white supremacy mean right, supremacy and chapter in that book is broken down into these things that are just sort of explaining the. Why that we feel the way that we do, but a big thing is that the idea of white fragility. If your listening- and you don't understand that concept- is this idea that when white people learn about the black experience they become fragile. They become side, they lash out that that that they internalize it Eliza as like, I'm bad or I'm wrong, or I don't know what to do in a freak out. They like can't handle the way that feeling or or abuse this sort of truth. So I think it two things. I think it's one when you start to read thing
it's hard to consume and how I am, I want to be very careful and say that my commitment and ass is: I want to keep elevating the teachers who should be agonies conversations, which is not me, a white woman, so I wanna keep elevating voices who should be speaking on this, but from my perspective I have challenged myself for the last couple of years, too, intentionally follow teachers and speakers that that challenge me so The way that I should have look at this. And this is something that being stopped me years ago, is now and that it should have the differ between Martin Luther King, Jr and Malcolm X, so Martin Luther king was speaking too everybody so he's talking, people back from MRS we're all in this together. Malcolm acts was speaking to black people figure
about white people seeking to black people, and so I intentionally follow tee some speakers who are having those conversations we're having more Malcolm X kind of conversations, because we I found myself getting like give Oh that bothers me that at the end then am I know this is her experience this is heard story. This is hurt narrative. This is her truth and hers speaking her truth Why in the world? Would that bother you? You should want to know whatever other person is experiencing even if its uncomfortable, so I think it's both of them things I think. As you began this journey its peak, you know I dont think that we want to be faced with how we when you're right. I think, there's a lot of conversation. And going back all the way to civil rights movement. I'm like the moon
dangerous. People in this conversation are white. Liberals who thing they're doing the right thing who think that their showing up in the right way and art, It takes a lot of humility that I don't know that a lot of people have to admit that, like whether you intended it or not, you are wrong, and are you willing to saying conversation, even if it feels painful to you and even if its challenging soothing, you can understand better. Unlike MRS, I think this is the most important like and if you are in community, no matter what no matter who you are Fiona Community and everybody in your community is just like you. You are missing at big I don't think I'm anywhere near the woman that I want to become I'm nowhere near the activists. I want to become no, I'm not even close like. I feel like I'm just every damn sight, but are you in
definitely miles further down the road. Then I would be if I didn't have friends of different cultures of difference. Actual orientations coming from different places coming from different religions, so yeah. I think I think it's both. People don't know, and I think they get scared and I think they don't to hear that they ve done something wrong, and so they in our we we'd just sort of put our heads under the head under the covers in I it'll go away, and does a lot of times. You know For that that's the reality is that for white people we do have the privilege of like looking away and looking at something else and not having to face this thing. Our
I have probably heard me and my new dog wit talking about open farm and honestly, I wish I could. Don't take my word for it take her word for it, but she can actually speak So what I will tell you is that I wanted to try open farm before I would commit to having them as a partner here on the pod cast, and I I'm such a big fan of the fact that every single part of this pet food is traceable, so you know where it comes from and how it was grown. Their food it is made from real ingredients, so things like Grass FED wagon beef or ocean wise approved Wild caught Pacific salmon and they add in non gmo fruits and vegetables like pumpkin and spanish, with absent. Firstly, no fillers and here's the thing maybe you're alive
why should I care about dog food? Why should I care about cat food like they just eat, whatever? Honestly, pet food. Food is some of the most awful price best thing that exist in the world today and we feel to these members of our family that we love so much? So if you care about your pets. The way I care about Geoffrey and about wit, then check out open farm see why they have ten thousand. Five STAR reviews visit open farm, pat dot com flash rise and use the discount code rise to get. Twenty percent off your first order. I mean I anything it's it's not just. This is like sort of all over the place to its like. If your listening to this and your straight, and you have feelings about people who are ill. Gb teach you like that.
To me that I was just says like men, you don't know anybody who is. In that group of people, because if you know like, I feel like every every cent- maybe not yours but like I'd like everybody, I knew grew up, was like one gay uncle right, but did you right, like their family, had learned from Ebay his room for like forty There is no common barbecue, if you didn't grow up without, if you had no perspective than its easy to hate what you don't know exactly why my best always just undressed, even if I can't relate trying to understand, open their shoes right and, as is all across the board, and that we we do it. Job as society and doing that I feel like we resent us out our bubble and we don't want our bubble to be pop. We don't, I don't want to be disturbed and it's just is good, but nothing happened this year. Is you can ignore, like this?
everybody's front doorstep, like you either you know. They say something, but you had the least you can really turn your cheat. You have actually see this round is hope that across the board that people can be look at people looking at him and just leave the principle of love than ever. As you yourself right, then. I just think that would be a lot better place that we operate like that, can ask him so am I can be be stirred up with, may be Trent Shelton, my friends when this is happening. So am I missing very close beans and rosy who you know and my instinct? eyes to reach out to you more trees out to Stacy. With two like checking with my friends who are my friends, but not like my best friend in the whole world. See how you are doing, but then I honestly because then I was like. Does that like? Does that feel like How dare I even taken with track? Because then I am, I know I don't know
and so I'm curious is like, as my friend, if you felt Like you would have liked to me to have handle that different with you know, I thought ways and I didn't know what was going on your lightning right, but I know you: like I again, I know who you are, and so I I always think about this. I know it. I know it. Damn for I know what represent so If you like obligation why'd you gotta get me up again. Are you ok yeah, but I do know who you are too. In that sense, you know, maybe It is, you know, says a lot don't on, and I know I m yeah. Sometimes I just intermarriage person so like something It is too high emotionally and so you're gonna do something. So now I didn't. I didn't Philistine, I believe about it. You know, I guess just be honest. I made it colonel with people.
Not only are like. Oh, what are you know? What's Rachel do yeah? I know a lot of people had that said that I was like this is like. Obviously you gonna respond with. She was from it, or at least in response to that. So I just then I guess yeah? That's my about it. So I knew I the person you haven't you you feel like. Is there a way I'm just thinking of this from like, people listening, who have a similar experience of lake How do you like, obviously, the whole other conversation, how people with a platform show up in this time period? But how do if you're listening to this- and you have people in your life, that you love very much your black and you are white and Europe? How do I be supportive in a way that doesn't feel like I'm making this about me or I'm being fragile or like? Is there a way that you feel like men? If someone did
is or someone didn't do this, and I appreciated that that tax of checking and with me not that you like, speak for everybody, but I'm just curious. You are an introvert, so over like I don't want to make this is going be I don't wanna, make it about me. You know like it was about. George Floor, a Brown a tailor all these other people- that? I've been wrongfully murder. What, for me, wasn't like I get checking up on me cool, but our ready. You check your life and fixed up and do something you know it. And contribute that way, because that's the last and change because just turn attacks and say: hey, you got it. I do not know, anything
saw anything so from me. It was like I do, but I must make sure you know you do whatever it. Is that your heart to do you know about Conversation are no give back. There's a lot of people often think this. I know that you have two speakers media monopolies, people that didn't say a word on self made it a deal more than the people that I know of one right. That was my old things like. I want to make this about me let's see how we can come together and take some stuff, one of their conversations that I've had with being a should use. Had her book come out last week when conversations that she's been having is also for people, So not make me the only conversation that you are having with black artists creators, writers speakers, because a book is not about. I mean she definitely speaks about growing up as a boy woman in America, but that's not what.
Books about, and so this has happened like the only conversation that people want to have with her, what she's like man? I love it. You know people want to have this conversation, but Please, like there are incredible business owners, artists, creatives whatever, who are doing work that has a literally nothing to do with the color of their skin. Who happened? be black like can you talk to? I am about the work that they are doing and not have that. Be the only conversation that that they're having absolutely related percent because, as you were saying: there's you know, even if it You know when the challenges that I gave the people were, as you know, using your privilege. And this is not just raised privileged budgets- even meet There's people is also media because I'm a big thing. Also me, honestly out I'll, have privileged certain things. Other people have itself How can I bring somebody else
or Salem someone else. I would never have to me, and so I think it's challenge and people are pretty much the same thing when it came to light Look at your business, the get your personal life. And how can you up somebody that might not have opportunity that you had or because of maybe color they might not get the respect that they deserve and upload Emerson spotlight on them. In their gives me a thousand crass happiness, more important than anything you're not into the day. I love that I have in my new place? I have am I like send out a bunch pictures and I moved away like just wanted some, pictures they're, my house, and I have a picture of all of us on the stairs bathrobes. Indeed, it makes me so happy arise here. I, like those are great harm, owe so much bad
key away, so we can all hang out again. I miss you and Miss Maria Maria. When will we the funny? I see a man like secretly. Well, I'm the funny agar revolve around us, probably solve body a wheel Ivan getting trap, we will be on my calls a grip beans, erosion, SAM and will be will end and then someone who's will remember that time, the Maria she's so funny, I cannot wait until we can all be together again hanging out in real life. Fourthly, on yeah, of course, will I need your map on the when you read yes, hello. I'd like can probably arranged that I know the producer. I want to you with about same question. Maybe same question. You know say what you no to say in talk about as much as you wanna talk about, but, like the same you asked me about reaching out. Did you have expectation for me?
to reach out to you when others don't happen now. I think when it first happens, I was saying kind of at the beginning. I was really surprised. I felt like people crawled out of the woodwork and I didn't feel like most of them had the right part about it. It felt kind of like here I am here to talk, I wanna and it just felling why we ve never had an intimate conversation. Why would I have on with you now so it? I am you we actually have been such a good friend, because you just me tell me that you're praying for me and that's. That's all anyone can do that the messages that have meant the most me in this time. Honestly, like you have done their LISA. Does this, where people to say
or a Mally. Does this, though they'll send you know and they say, don't respond, which I just really appreciate cause it's like. I don't need anything back from you. I just want in another and praying for each day. I'm thinking about you and those had been the ones that are really loves am like. Just am Dean has been really a really incredible friend. You know for both of us live hand, but he I just people who, just like hey, don't send me nothing back. But no that now that I'm here and I think we obviously when you ve been with someone is on the day that I have been together, all our friendship, Sir interwoven right like you, both of us are friends with all of our friends, and so I think that it's a really interesting. For for people navigate as I go. How do I in a shop for both these people- and I would say for listening to Us- and you have someone in your life like that's been the best is- best girlfriends. Those are my like. Those are my peeps. Those are
talk to those who I cried do, but the other p Well, like my you know, it would not be appropriate for me to call you knew I just people who, just like I'm thinking about you, that's like the best thing that I think anyone can do in this time period and I'm trying to be really honest and not pretend that I'm better than I am, which is very weird as a as with someone who's on social media? Has a platform cause? You know you and I we want to put positivity out into the world. We are left people up and so It's very hard or awkward to suit of be like. I want to be present my community. I've been online with these people for a decade and now I'm not crossing, because I'm crying in today S want them to have to carry that
so you know. If you look at my social, I haven't been posting a time and what I am proposing is like here is: my dog is like. I dare not, maybe what people are used to seeing for me. I'm trying really hard to be honest. So, like we're making and set me up and they say how are you doing? I say: I'm, ok, I'm not good! I'm not going I know that I will be Sunday, but today I am just okay and that's That is what it is, because I think it would be so disingenuous for me to pretend, like It's all good when it's done. We Sunday but right now, I'm just ok. We appreciate your own at eight, a m even you're vulnerability ended, transparency, you know, we appreciate it and I'm just don't say this with what we have is: not it I'll get it, Example yourself during his time and they use everybody you been if everybody you ve committed all his time. This is for you to see what people need it.
Be there for you, what love is the port software? We appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you, man, I appreciate you I'm so Superman. I see that you're. My railway friend, like I love and genuinely so blessed by you and Maria and Sunday well, buying out will be a real life of that will be backstage. Will we so excited to like be at an event again? San, Diego right now, that'll be everything, and you know what that is going to be the most epic event of all time, because It has been pushed and people have been waiting and when we come back together, it's gonna be so raising will take place next year. It lay in summer of twenty one yeah. I can't June or July care. Remember the dates I mean, maybe July, but and that that was like so sad and so to move those. I mean you know how much heart we put into those events to disappoint.
He bore sack, then am I just no, I think we all need it right now to hate trends you were listening. I can't believe anybody doesn't know where to finding civic ten million followers something bananas like that, but, Can I out with you online so for himself anywhere, is the ground. Tik Tok facebook you to display my name up up up our family, and the podcast is straight out real straight up at the book. Is straight up, and it comes out today said this area on the but comes out and yeah. I wanna, be. I told you wanna, be under paragraph podcast. Let's set it up.
What's up everyone, I'm beans- and I'm saying- and this is a shy about us every day- lies the ends as opposed to being parttime. Lisbon is anyway so exciting for you to be here, so we can talk about serve like movie, use sport, Sammy's watching on Tiktok and also what is it. I didn't wanna make the perfect lazy weekend cocktail what's going on a renewed and what is that doesn't make you all and so much more to contract with us and take us along on your air or paying with us at work here. Once more, we can write a note, doesnt scribe. Now I never miss unobserved.
Transcript generated on 2020-08-04.