Hi guys, how is everyone I am not gonna why it's very cold in austin, Texas and perhaps all my winter episodes are me just talking about a cold. It is by its thirty three. Is our hi today, and I understand that there are other parts of this country in this world, but it is much colder but three: the high my weather, tells me it feels like twenty four, so I want you than I sitting in my podcast chair wearing multiple airs, wool, socks and also sitting on a heating pad like I'm a lizard like I'm a lizard on one of those hot rocks you get at the pet store, because

is I'm just looking out the window and it just looks brisk and I'll. Tell you honestly cause, I beg you guys will dig this. I am also looking at my boo. Hoo is outside in this there right now put up chicken wire? Yes, I they have decided to get chickens and I know, there's all these things going around about the price of eggs and dissolve stuff about eggs, and I just feel the need say that I have decided to get chickens before that trend, because Our family eats more eggs. Then. I mean it's a thing and I figured while we can have these pets that we love and give cute names to. Slash everywhere,

Send a while they lay us an egg and I'm not gonna, put to me pressure on these girls to supply us with our full backing question of eggs that we through an a week, because I just like a lot, but as is this cold weather calms down, I'm getting some chicks, I'm gettin some some chickens and we got the cutest freaking chicken coop. You ve ever seen. Why. And this man the project, so he did the chicken coop. And now is on the chicken wire and its twenty four feels like twenty four, and this is what happens when you daddy european- they're like this, where there is nothing to him, he doesn't care, and also just loves a project, so I'm I'm recordings, while watching a gorgeous man put up chicken wiring cold. This

what's living, this is living guys. This is, as I said, sit on eating bad, that's what's happening over here and austin Texas today, as we embark on another episode of ask reach anything hi. I'm rachel Hollis and this is my podcast I spend so many hours of every single week reading and listened podcast and watching youtube videos and trying to find out as much as I can about the world around me and that's what we do. On this, shall we talk about everything like and how to be an entrepreneur. What happened dinosaurs what's the best recipe for fried chicken? What's the best plan for intermittent fasting? What's going on with our inner child house therapy working out for you, whatever it is, my guess or into I want to unpack it so that we can all understand these

our conversations. This is information for the curious. This is the rachel Hollis podcast. The ask me anything: this is where callers call into our hotline, which you could totally do anyone can do this, and this is my third year of saying that some day. We're gonna, have a dude call it thousands of women colony and over the years, never one time a guy- and I know you're a city because you stop me, you stop me at the story. You saw me. The airport near like the gym and you're? Like embarrassed? Hey, my wife got me, you know enlisted whatever I know you're there, Chad, brad, Caleb kyle. I know you're listening, don't be afraid, Colin, but also anyone can call in and you can ask anything- that's the name of

The episode and the number, let's see if she can remember it off the top of her head is seven three, seven, four hundred four six, two six, you call you leave me a voicemail like it's nineteen. Ninety, seven and then I go through the voice, smells the team and together and then I answer, a train theme them so today were from our goals, were talking specifically to really good questions from two women at totally different stages of life early twenties trying to figure out who you are what comes next? How do you stay focused when he got so many people set of speaking into what you should be doing and then we ve got, serena calling in from las vegas in her thirty married has a kid careers going gray and trying to figure out what Comes next, so we're gonna listen about those tickets.

And then I'm gonna answer questions and hopefully there's some in these conversations that are helpful to you here we go. Let's start with Jordan,

hi rachel, my name is Jordan and I'm twenty five years old, I'm as a young adult I've really struggled to stay focused on my goals, just because everything in my life feels like a moving target for my physical health to my career, my mental health, my social life, even my general interests, I just feel like short term. My desires are always changing, there's just so much content and different perspective on what's right and what's the best in all of those areas that I feel myself flip flopping all over and just changing my mind on what I want. I feel like I'm just so easily influenced by outside factors that when other people tell me how great their opinion is, I believe them and just completely change my goals and habits to align with their perspective. So I can become as happy and incompetent as I perceive them to be, ah, but my faith in their

in its leading until I find someone else to fix it on because of this, I just feel super unfulfilled, unlike I've been standing still for seven years, so my question is: how do you find out what is true to you and how do you actually make traction on gold when there are so many shiny alternative than different routes to take everywhere? That you luck, ash. Looking for your answer, thank you free, fantastic self awareness, Jordan. I just want to start their because as at twenty five, I did not have the self awareness that you have to even understand that could potentially be foot flopping or changing HU I am or who I believe, I'm supposed to be or what I believe I'm supposed to be aiming at. Based on what I'm saying and The really hard part for people in their twenties people in their teens. Frankly, if you're forty fifty sixty the hard part for all of us,

now, if you're a seeker, if you are someone who is trying to figure out how to be a better version of you, however, that manifest in your life And you're doing that right now, in this time period and twenty twenty three, you are in David, by so much freaking content. There's so much kind. Out there. There are so many things that are trying to, your attention that are trying to fire you up that are to take you down a rabbit whole? They have a and they have perspective. This is amazing. When you're trying to find out specific guidance, I would like to train to run a triathlon when you're looking for something very specific. How do I go from couch to five k. How do I write my first book like when you're looking for specific information, amazing

because you can follow other people's road maps and other people's recipes for how to pull off the thing you're trying to create. But when it's not specific, when your open you're like twenty five? What I want to be, where do I want to go what matters most? Why am I here all of those big questions. The dangerous beautiful thing about that is that answers, are literally endless and they can lead you in a thousand directions. That sort of take you nowhere. So what I actually think you should focus on. I think goal for you, Jordan site, anybody else. Listening to this, who hasn't figure this out yet. You're only goal should be good to know yourself, who are you who is Jordan, what is she entered?

what do they love? What are they hate? What is their greatest dream like? Oh, if I could just do this thing, I could meet this person or, if I could be in the room when this happens. What, those things at a mom, I notice that you would rattle off on a list of a genie popped out of a lamp and was a jordan sister. You have whatever you want like you need. to know what those answers are, because if You know what those answers are than you know who you are less and at dinner one of my kids was like. What's one thing that you want to accomplish by the time you're fifty cause, I just turned forty so like. What's one thing you want to accomplish by the time you're fifty and Like one row, I can't even answer that question. I can tell you a thousand things I want to accomplish by the time I'm fifty

because I know myself really well and also by the way I didn't know myself over twenty five, but I know myself well at forty and a guitar You all these things that would be so exciting for me to experience, because I've spent the time Getting to know me in a perfect world Every single being would oh themselves out well, but fortunately, we don't live in a perfect world, we live in a world that is trying to offer solutions that can never be external huh, who you are jordan Something that you can only discover by going inside, but here's the thing as humans. I think every time that these kinds of questions start to stir in our being every. something in us is like exam.

Actually, where you are right now, where you're trying to figure out who you are and what you want and you're looking at a bunch of different options, ev, the time that happens? We get scared, because those answer crews are found in like an uncomfortable place Those answers are found by breaking down to the studs and rebuilding the foundation from the ground up, if you, wanna get to those answers you have to go through you have to, through our impact Some stuff. You have to go through the party of yourself that you do really love. You have to go through the mistakes. You ve made the the truth that union to face all of these things are inside of us. in our evolution is on the other side of all that stuff that we don't really want to deal with so

ninety nine percent of people will do including me back in the day when I was younger, Is when these kinds of things when these kinds of questions would bubble to the surface,. I would do a little searching I would be on. comfortable in that searching and I would decide that the answer was a relationship I needed to have. Or the answer was all I need to find my partner, ok. Well, I found my partner and then a couple years. go by and then these things start to bubble up again and unlike feeling, uncomfortable. Oh, I know we need to say. And by our first townhouse, that's what we need to do and then a couple years would go by and the vienna joy of all of that would sort of wear off the law. of.

Familiarity pops and you get used to these things that you once were chasing and you know still small voices inside of me raising her hand me like hey, you don't know yourself you don't know who you are your father, In all of these other people, you're tryin, this stuff you're reading a magazine, you're looking we didn't have social media at the time, but you're looking at other people, for the answers for how you should talk, dress eat be all of that stuff. That starts to bubble up again and, unlike I am I think it I'm for me to have a baby real talk, real. Like true talk, I think if women in their food these fifty sixties, older women. Allowed to be honest without being judged. I think

We would be very shocked, at how many of them- and maybe this is true for men as well made huge debts. Decisions like getting married or having children syn We because they were, sure, what else to do. they were in this place of Who am I. And so they looked to an external solution. and to give them the answers. I don't know who I am with society, says all become a mom, the and no matter what for the rest of my life, I have an identity. That I have received, based on my relationship to another person, because nobody teaches us that worse was to have an identity. based on the relationship we have with ourselves and straight up

You can take. My word for it now you can remember this twenty years from now and go oh yeah, I get when I was your age Jordan. I have one year old, in fact that baby that I had at twenty four years old, which just I can even fathom at twenty four years old, I had my first baby and today literally today, when I'm recording this he turned sixteen years old and all Things they say are real. I wouldn't trade him for anything in this universe. I would take a bullet for him for any of my kid at like you guys know this stuff. We, you don't need me to add the asterisk, like yeah ends. its grey and all those things, but I know looking

back now. I understand that I made. decision. To get me It's so young that I made the decision to have children than while the second one was an accident, but now that I didn't make a decision on but tat event. We find myself with four children? I did. these things, because I wasn't sure who I was I had no idea how to figure out who I was, and so I did what society told me. A good girl should do, and I I hope that by me saying this, someone out there will be like oh dang, that's what I'm doing right now or Maybe it's not even someone who's. Twenty five may I'm recordings episode because someone listening to this needs to hear you say the saloon into what you're feeling is not? U adding another baby to your family. Actually,

get a lot of questions from me, was saying: should I have another kid and I feel like if you have to ask that question, the answer is no. I feel like the only people that should be having babies and frankly, this is true for marriage. Those huge like changing things. Should only consciously make those decisions, if like You can't even imagine another alternative. This is the best thing that you could ever imagine then, yes do that, but both a committed relationship at that level and being apparent those two things require so much of our being, they are not easy. They can. Give you a lot in return, but they are not easy. really freaking hard and

ass, the rewards can be amazing but hear me they are so hard and may come at the expense of you. getting more time with self That's ok,. but you gotta know what your signing up for and most people don't most people are like. Oh, this is the next square. on the game of life, you know I graduated high school, I went to secondary school. I got a job, I'm gonna buy a house I'm gonna find my partner or or whatever the order is for you, whatever your family of origin, thinks you're supposed to be doing. Like well, I'm not sure it's like people who are like not sure what I want to do with my career Simon, go back to college and get an mba. Why bro sis,

you don't know what you want to do with your career, but you do want to add how many extra dollars in. Student loan dat that you can add another degree You don't know what to do with it. It doesn't make sense, but all do these things. Thinking that an external answer, Is going to tell us who we are so Jordan if you want to know what I think you should do, I think you should commit the next three years. Three years I was going to say five, but I feel like that will freak you out so that ex three years to figuring out who you are Have you ever seen that movie runaway bride? I don't love you, seen it cause you're. Twenty five, so it's a little

later than your time, but it is Julia roberts. So perhaps you watched because you love around but in this movie, It's been engaged like three or four times in every time. She goes to marry the guy. She runs away at the altar. It's a whole thing, richard gear. He writes about it, blah blah blah at the end of that movie Julia roberts realises that she doesn't actually know who she is she's only because A version of whatever her partner wants. to be so whatever man she was with, she should have became that guy, the rock star she was a rocker, the sports guy. She wasn t four it's like whatever they were into she became and most humans. Are you The least swayed in to this line of being. because we're like, why not really sure so all just sort of go along for the ride.

So at the end of that movie, duly Robert sits down with a twenty plates of eggs, scrambled fried over easy just every way you can make an egg and she tries them all, because she, and actually even know how she likes her eggs? She only has ever liked the style of eggs that her partner has so Jordan. for three years, you're only goal is figuring out? Who you are How do you like your eggs, what he went to. Where is your favorite place to vacation on planet earth? Who is the best band to see perform wife? What are the top five books that you believe every human being needs to read before they die. What, Is the most beautiful piece of art. that exists in the world today. What is something that every

single time you hear it will make you laugh until you pee your pants a little bit? What's the best meal of your lifetime? Who is the smartest person you've ever speak life. I mean I'm just making up a list of stuff. I like your list. be totally different if you're really into music than you could come up with twenty different things in the music category that you're going to explore to have a deeper, conversation with yourself, if you're really into food, that to your food, fantastic. Then, here's thirty ideas over here that you can take it on how to make bread learn how to sharpen your knives get europe. Chickens go to france and become a chef? I don't whatever your into literally anything. Can be an indication of the direction the head

Well, I'm really into K pop fantastic. exploring. Maybe you move to korea for a year, I'm not kidding Maybe you go down that rabbit hole. You see like BT, ass, live in concert twenty two times and then you're like honestly. This is not is not who jordan is great, but you just tried something, and you tried something: that you made up you didn't let anybody else give you direction on how you were supposed to figure out who you are, no that you don't want to hear this, because when I was via would what my eyes, if someone told me- but it's will you have so much life ahead of you, Jordan? I turned forty. Two weeks ago, I literally feel like I'm just getting started do you like? I barely have scratch the surface on the stuff. I want to do

the goals I wanna to the person I wanna be. I am barely getting started. I That to you, because there is this epidemic in the twenty something community. Feeling like they're running behind they feel like they should have this figured out. They should have that figure it out. They should know the answers to these things, and it's just be s o. My lord me, at twenty five, I can't I remarked nice that person, I'm trying to think of what part of me at twenty five is still part of me today I mean I was trying to think of body parts. But then, like your body regenerate, so that's not even me at twenty five. Is there anything

I even loved it too. I guess my child, you're gonna have a short list if you get be forty and you still like all the same stuff. Do all the same self aided the same places read the same books watch the same shows something's wrong There is no way that you, as a seeker at your age, trying to figure out yourself, are even club it's going to resemble the woman that you're going to become, and if that's true, then you can be very forgiving with yourself about the amount of time this is going to take. So I say three years three years just try some stuff. experiment and, if you're, not sure what to experiment with. I challenge you to put one activity on your calendar month, just one that you have never done before, go to a place in your town. You ve never gone or go to a place in someone else's town

never gone change things up, try new stuff. Whatever your into? There are classes on youth, bigger watch videos for free, my ten, son has decided he wants to be a fashion designer and so for christmas. I got him a sewing machine, he's learning to sew by watching youtube videos, and I don't tell him- I said this, but he's terrible at sewing. His fashion design, beautiful I've taken pictures like us, I'm working on his creations, just in case he becomes a super successful, because I want like the picture of like the first time but he's teaching himself it might ten year old, can learn to so using you to Jordan, Twenty five you can free can do anything. The key Is that you have got to stop paying attention to what other p? look around you are trying that's their journey. That's their path.

I just did an episode if you want to scroll back adjusted in episode on comparison and how to stop comparing and if you feel like you, keep looking and looking at how some one else is running the race and it throws you off your own course go. Listen to that episode. It's got all kinds of ideas for you But what I want you to hear me say what want? Everyone listening to hear me say: is that the answer to who you are We'll never be external I'll, never be outside yourself, inside of you is the essence who you really are. and inside of you is a piece Your creator, both of those are constantly whisper, and guiding and giving you intuition. and if you really want to figure it out, if you want to get a jump on this.

Jordan, I did not learn this until I was thirty five, thirty seven you can get A twenty year headstart start doing. This work now have the courage to go internal, not extra and if your listening to this and your fifty five or seventy two It is never too late to become who you actually are. But the only way that y'all are going to do. That is if you stop looking at other people for the answer to that question. Look at other people for directions! Look at other people for a recipe Two other people for specifics. If you want to specifically know how to get from here to hear, but if you're in an exploratory stage,

It sort of nebulous and open and you're not really sure you're going that that's internal work all day All right now we have a question from so rina, my name thirty years old, I am indeed about industry- and again I am really happy with. Where am I

career, wise or my marriage, and you bring talks right now and I have a six year old. My question is: how did you find your what's next, since I was in highschool, I always had that pool at least three to five years out, and I I've achieved most of them that I've been putting myself when I was in my late teens and early twenties and mid twenties, and now I'm thirty, and I was able to achieve all of the things that I had set for myself, but I I feel, like I don't know what I'm not necessarily striving to be.

a director in the industry by any means or, but I I feel like I always that'd- be wants for my remain, and now I'm not running running out. But I I don't. I don't know what next and I I don't know, if that, maybe it's time for change or or what what have you, but, ah I don't feel stuck. I I still feel very accomplished for what I've been able to do? I just I don't know what's next, for you know in the next, where I see myself when I'm thirty five or when I'm forty and I just feel a little like- I I I guess you could say: oh right serena, I love these two questions paired together because I'm gonna give sort of similar answers now, in Jordan's case,

I recommend going inside right. I reckon and getting to know herself. It's not even a bow, a goal or us and level of attainment it's about who the hell am I and what I would say for anybody at any age is that that is an issue incredible goal to have but for serena. What I think I'm hearing is, that you have experienced a lot of goal. We've met and a lot of success in your career. in your relationships. Would it mean makes me wonder is if the next goal for you should be, something utterly personal, something that isn't gonna help you at work Is it going to be a box that you check off that you know the way Can look out and think yeah that's it is really killin it over there, but something

you have always wanted to do while you marinate in that serena, let's just like put a pen in it for one second- and I want to speak to the importance of goals. now? I know that there is every kind of perspective that exists out there, but y'all are hanging out with me, if you're hanging out with me, I have to assume that you either. Are goal oriented person, or you want to figure out how to be a goal oriented person. I tend to attract people and community who are working on becoming a better version of themselves. I literally wrote a whole book about this, but I just vehemently believe that every human being should have a goal that they are working on,

The beauty of being human is that it doesn't matter what the goal is. I've if I've set at once have set it a thousand times If your goal is to be the best baker in your town, if your goal is to run a mile without puking, if your goal is to be come the ceo of a fortune, five hundred company or an actress who wins, an academy award. I don't care what the goal is. But I do believe you should have one not because of the goal, but because having a go and working towards something it gives us passion. It gives us a sense of purpose. Gives us a direction to head when we feel sure in fact, even with Jordan, the goal I gave her, still a goal. The goal is to get to know yourself. It it's something for the outside world, but it was a project that she could work against.

I believe, if we don't have goals. that we run the risk of a year goes by five years. By ten years, goes by and we have nothing to show for we weren't even really present in it. Have you were had those times were like a man to buy your like. What literally why happened in january or like six months, you like. What did we do what our family do? I dont remember anything because you are not present in your life. You not press in those moments. You have no sort of markers or state in the ground. That say this is what I and this is who I am, and this is how I showed up in these very specific ways. I really believe a goal is essential, especially If you are someone who already is an achiever, I tried to just not havoc

for a while. I was, I will maybe come out a covert and, like all. the things and I felt like life was so hard and I was trying to figure out. Maybe I've been doing it wrong the whole time and I was like whoa just like not gonna have a goal, and just like be yes, that is for a level of ascendant I am not there yet I mean. Maybe I will be some day. It's just not my personality. I am deeply in love with a man who is, I think I've told you guys before like yoda, and he just is so good at being at present he's so freaking present he's just then he's just chill and like life unfolds before him beautifully it all just works out and he's like that great, a love that

I love that for you bill, and he looks at me like over her like and then I'm going any just sort of some als and like loves me for who I am, and he helps me to be more present, and I helped to be a little bit more like ok. But what are you gonna do with the thing what and to do with all this opportunity. but what I ve learned about myself over the last several years is that I personally, I need something to work towards I need A mission I need an intention. The beauty today is that you know five years ago, or something, for instance, with this podcast my gun, all would be, I want one million people live they like something crazy right. I'd have these lofty. Ambitious. I gotta do this thing and I realize now- totally ego driven, because if I,

could do that thing then made other people would like me, and I would feel a sense of achievement for being the right kind of person or whatever be ass. I had to work through now. I still have a All my goal is to one of I have so many goals, but one of my goals is to produce the best possible pie cast. I can for you, guys to do. My very best, to put my whole, are an intention and. We made this intention as a team are those small but mighty team. We made this intention gosh last year for sure, and it was clear First, we are trying to figure it out and it was a little hard to our minds around because we used to have numerical goals like we say we want this. Many listeners who are and now you're saying we just want to do really good. We want to know that were giving our all that were giving our best

and ironically, just that henchmen not having a crazy lofty goal, but just having the intention of doing better work has made the show explode. It's big than it has ever been a new list. You're coming and all the time you guys are being so incredible and sharing the content putting it out in the world. but I really don't have a numeric oh I'm not saying? Oh, I want this many listeners, I'm like I just want to do really good job, so the way set goals is very different, but the goal still there. I have to have something I'm working on sort of like an extra special thing and right now. This extra special thing for me is work related but sir, enough for you. I think my instinct is. this needs to be the time that you really just do some and for you, so what something you love like. Maybe you love so much in like your little embarrassed about it,

you have always wanted to rollers gate? want to be one of those cute girls down at venice beach, doing I don't know. maybe you're really into ballet and he loved it when you were little girl, but you do it anymore because once were grown up, we stop having any value with anything forget make money off of it. So people will judge us if we take a ballet class in our thirties like what something you loved, you always want to write a horse. maybe want to get into rock climbing nevada has beautiful places free to climb. Maybe you're gonna start hiking Maybe you're gonna sign up for that marathon. Finally, they even promising yourself for years, but my challenge to you is to find something that is only for you. This is for everybody if you need a goal to work on, if you like, you ve crushed it in the career success world- great, let's look internal

It's the same as jordan, but a little bit different is what is a project you can work on for yourself and what I wrote down when I heard your question was the importance of passion. being passionate about something is not talked about enough. And I dont mean berry, unhelpful at find your passion, There's a lot of marketing around this idea that we as human beings are supposed to know our action and the thing that we are passion as if one thing is going to take care of all your passion needs for the rich. Of your existence, I just don't believe that I have been passion about different things at different times in my life, and I think it's ok to change it up and have it be different, but I think it's important for every Single human being to have something that their excited about,

we hear all of these stories about burn out or feeling better or being exhausted or feeling stock and is counter intuitive, as it might seem the or to a lot of those things- is feeling passionate about something. I think too often. we try and make ourselves feel passionate about someone else's passion. You know like you're, your husband, really into crossfire so you our doing crossfire because you wanna like hang out pan and also you're, not really sure what your passion is you're, like all try this any freak. Hate it or you like to have to hype herself up into going. When there are so many amazing ways that you could you your body to move around and do things that you love. Why not experiment

and figure out what your passion in movement is. What's your passion with food? What's your passion with music I got into the most intense conversation yesterday with a teenage girl. my local summer, moon, which is coffee shop because I walked in and she was listening to florence in the machine and I love once in the machine and she was singing a sort of, secure florence well song and I was like singing too, as I was like waiting in line and we should have locked eyes and we both had the like. Oh you also love. We ten dread. We are now best ease, even though you are set- teen and I am forty and she was like. I love. And I said me too- have you ever seen her in concert and she was like no it's on my bucket list and I mean we're like magpies like I was oh, my gosh. I would

and nobody would go with me. I literally could not find a single for anyone. C4, it's a machine, so I took myself to the hollywood bowl. Like I flew to allay. I went to the hollywood bowl by myself to see them to mason concert. I had the best time I was like for it was just like, if a vampire and fairy had a baby and then that maybe performed like haunting yet romantic songs for you all night and like made, you fill a theory all and also somehow like dark and emo. Oh my it was, and we just work we off because we're both passionate about thou artist about music about life shows in the same way about books. I am the same way about documentaries. I have seen and passionate about a lot of stuff and in those moments where maybe I feel like. Oh my gosh- I've just made a thousand lunches this week and dinner

as and put the kids to bed and bath time and whether it can be monotonous. Life can give monotonous if your life never gets monotonous. Congratulations Mind gets monotonous, but why, relieves the monotony. What reconnects me to myself is passion. any for not short your passionate about serena, then I can listen to the answer I gave to Jordan, but essentially both of you. My direction is the same, get to know yourself and do it on purpose right, dedicate some time serena to a personal goal that you can set for yourself by yourself. That's what I would do having something that's just for you. Specially. If nobody else gets it, that's the most fun we need to normalize

having goals that nobody else gets. I hope that far you're from now. I dont have to answer. question. I have answered a bill, in times, which is what, if I am to something or what if I have a goal and my husband and understand I or my mother in law doesn't understand, or my sister doesn't understand it. I hope that five years now I don't I don't even get that question anymore, because You ve just normalized You. have a right to the things you're, interested in if nobody else gets them like this. Thing that we ve all bought into that we have to do with everybody else does and be like everybody else and into what everyone else is like. No, in fact guys, I feel like so.

I'm trends that we see out in the world are awesome. Right, like I've, learned so many trends on like how to properly peel, an egg or baker, pasta, dish, that's delicious or maybe like a hare trend or make a tender, something that made my life better, but there's also trends like that are just making our society worse. I keep getting served on instagram. I keep getting serve these reels. Of women, who are my age or in their forties that are taking videos of light teenage girls. here, there's a really popular there's one right now. It's like a b full teenage girl whose use I know what their call, but you know, had bands where they look like triangle

There were like plastic, you wrap it around your neck when you put it at that's like these, like almost like sharp teeth that older her back. If you, if you know than you know We had them when we were teenagers and theirs is beautiful. Teenage girl who's trying went out the amount of videos I mean I have been served at least twenty video Of women in their forties, talking shit on this teenage girl for trying out this hair ban. And all of the commentary is the same, I'm like say miss, unlike I'm, getting. I've got I'm going to like calm down but like a commentaries the same as like. We already did this. We already had this blow. blah. Who do you think you, you know why get a freaking life. If you are in your forties, if you are grown ass, woman and our spending. Your time making video

tearing down any woman but tearing down a teenage girl, shot it is so like what are you? Do I get it? I get that in the rams gonna find that real and it's gonna do whatever, and it's gonna show it to a bunch p. And then you're gonna get accolades. because other women and therefore these are like yeah these teenagers, like I get it, How to stuff is coming back. I get it. I see that I am like. Oh ok, yeah. No, we yeah. We were the ones with this crunchy, yet we got the like. I get it and it's funny to talk about how we had those trends long time ago. I bet if social media existed when I was in middle school, our moms or our generation would be like this girl. China dress, like she's, wearing bell bottoms like this. Yeah we invented those bell. Bottoms like history is just repeating what Do you think your unique? The fact that,

this many. I know I'm gone off on a tangent, but the fact that this many grown ups are, Oh, you would take my skinny genes out of my cold dead hand like it's so intense and so crazy, and I No, why instagram thinks I want to see it because it just makes me angry this is not a trend worth being part of what I am both to add on social media, whether I want it or not, and for each and every one of us. There are trends that the public is doing it becomes a normal life. It's normal. For a woman and her forties to be making on of or bullying a teenage girl on social media, and hitting hundreds of thousands of views and we think that's normal. Does she is not normal? It's embarrassing its

ego driven, it's unhealthy We should know better: it's grows this is just one example of so many Things that are normal, that we accept. But you want to start a u to channel about doing you can't warring, what you're afraid of you you wanna learned a tap dance. Will you think people are going to judge you because someone, your age, someone your size, someone from your background shouldn't be doing tap dance lesson, Our society thinks it's more more to do the crazy shit

but you're embarrassed because the desire of your heart, this thing, your passion about, isn't normalize, lets you analyze it just scroll through instruments scroll through tiktok for twenty minutes and joy, No all of the things that are now normal and accepted yawl. If that shit Can be normalized then we can normalize women, girls, teenagers, grandmothers, end, body pursuing something that makes them happy, even if no one else I know I got on the soap box. I know I On some tangents, but that is what happens when you ask me anything. If you listen to this and you're like ok dang, I want ass great a bow

I mean literally anything. The hotline is seven three, seven, four hundred for six to sex I'll, be back soon with more information. Until then guys, never forget I love you and I'm rooting for you The Rachel Hollis podcast is produced by me, Rachel Hollis, its edited by andrew weller and jack, noble.