This episode is brought to you by progressive mode. if you aren't just listening right now, you're driving cleaning and even exercising but what, if you could be saving money by switching to progressive driver, you saved by switching save nearly seven hundred dollars on average, an auto cost immerse qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now quote today at progressive dotcom programme, save casualty insurance company, an affiliates national average twelve month savings of six hundred. Ninety eight dollars by new customers surveyed who saved with progressive between june twin, twenty one and may twenty twenty two potential saving Will very discounts not available in all states and situation I love this number

when it comes to picking dairy products that are aligned with your values, sometimes a choice can feel overwhelming. That's, why just beauty at all to beauty comes in their conscious beauty at all to beauty. You'll find products that of certified under the programme is having clean ingredients, are cruelty. Free are vague in order sustainably packaged. You can even discover brands that make a positive impact, meaning there of giving back at their core shop in store online or pick up today. Hey guys, it's rage. Welcome to another episode of the show and a new at the sound of our series. Ask rage live so hopefully you have seen me talking about my podcast or that I might

right now it's called happy in the same pants and it's a conversation about how we hold joy at the same time that we hold pain. How do we hold goodness at the same time that we hold grief? This is something that have gone through a lot in my life, and I wanted to have conversations with the all about it. I will tell you that the tour is like ninety five percent funny Stories we are having a blast. I hope that you will join us in an upcoming city. It's nashville atlanta come into san diego sack. men toe and a few more that I have not announced yet, but in every single city, stop I do alive q and a with the audience so as much as theirs. Funny stories there's also real talk. There is also a unique conversation that can only happen in that specific city and that specific room on

this particular night, which I love. It means that every conversation in every single city is slightly different than the one before it and today I wanted to bring you some of those moments from ass great life. This is where are women in the audience have asked me questions and so far on tour? I have had questions about everything about how to make a change in career, about how to start a small business about how to help a college aged child with emotional insecurity and how to help them sort of find their wings and fly. I have had questions about losing a parent. I've had questions about, finding love, I'm getting it all, which is so fantastic because something magical happens when we all get in a room together. Not only am I having a conversation with the person asking a question, but you have this group of five hundred women and a few good dudes who are

holding space for truth and the hard stuff and working through things and there's something incredible that happens when you're looking at another person and your seeing your own story reflected back at you. I thought, then: maybe I would like to hear these stories and that's what I'm bringing you today be. His are a couple of really cool moments from the tour and I'm going to put a link in the show notes. If you want to grab your tickets, I dont know how many more cities I'm gonna, be adding. So keep your eyes peeled, or what's coming next, and I super super super hope that you will come hang out ass and laughed at all made cry little definitely get some motivation, but also meet some. Like minded people in your community. I I'm rachel Hollis, and this is my podcast.

I spend so many hours of every single week, reading and listened to podcast and watching youtube videos and trying to find out as much as I can about the world around me and that's what we do on this show. We talk about everything life and how to be an entrepreneur. What happened dinosaurs? What's the best recipe for fried chicken? What's the best plan for intermittent fasting? What went on with our inner child house therapy working out for you, whatever it is, my guess or into I want to unpack it so that we can all understand. These are conversations. This is information for the curious. This is the rachel, Hollis podcast. Ok, this says

sure what is one piece of advice you have for someone who is grieving. This is from no well know. Well, do you want to talk about this? I said yeah she's right near here, I make just so noel knows if you have been in this room or if you're in this room and you have gone through grief or are going through some kind of grief process, you just raise your hand, so she understands she's, not alone now. I think most of us in our life will go through I think tells what's going on. I just wanna to you tell me who you really helps me? I lost my mom two years ago. I'm sorry you to some of the strand and my person and been through a lot since then. But your last book that you really really helped me. So I just want to say thank you and thank you. So Tell me what's going on that, you feel, like you, wanted to ask this question like it still something. That's really hanging over you, yeah

I am having one therapy for about a year and my dad is. remarried. He just told me this week, so it's kind of a lot yeah. So that's bringing up a lot of different things. Yeah and the thing that's bring out the daddy's get remarried. What one of the emotions at your feeling, I just feel like my mom is going to be forgotten, impossible, absolutely impossible, We can feel her in this room. You can tell how much he loved her key rice feel that yeah, and she's with you like always always always with you That's never gonna go away, Do you and I dont know your situation or the contacts you dad could be a super jerk and if he is screw that guy but

Our party view part of you that could understand a desire to move on for him or you feel like. No. He should wander the earth forever sad like I understand why eyes doing about. What's best, yeah, but it's still hurts a man. Do you like the choice? he's. My move out of one part of our only met her one. Oh yeah tell you know, because men are dumb, ok, they they do that. Sometimes they are like bounced back four days later, married wages you're like what I think what pops in my head number one is to understand and to be great with yourself in this process, because greece is along its long in feel, like sometimes in life, people want to get over our grief faster than were able to

why are you still sat in a wise is still happening, wisest, something and when it something that's especially internal to you feels those kind of impossible because now you're trying to meet the expectations of who they want me to be in this moment, not hide your actually feeling and Am I it's probably in my head is lost baby. I lost the baby and I couldn't get over it. I could I could ever has ever blood the baby had a miscarriage here. I just could move past it, and it was this deep. internal thing, because nobody else will

Actually, nobody else really knew, and I I just didn't I I couldn't move and I just wanted to cry- and I just wanted to be angry and I just wanted to have bad days, but I felt like I needed to be stronger. I needed to show up- or I needed to do the thing, and that process was very long for me and it lasted as long as it needed to and for particular thing for us. Maybe for the loss of people. I loved. I have lost a lot of people in my life sometimes it so he turned, and nowhere sunday It still takes my right away Sometimes I don't even know how were here and I dont know how we're going in to July, and this I don't want to talk about it like it still that raw for me that don't know how these things happen like how is someone here one moment and then they're not put this is life,

so you have to allow yourself to feel whatever you feel to process what, you process and in case you need it Sometimes we all need a reminder. emotional boundaries are not you telling someone else how to behave an emotional boundary is you saying to someone? If you want to interact with me, this what's allowed? If you don't want to, just me: go do you. But you are allowed to put some emotional boundaries in place with your dad right now and say to him. Like I told you, we get it Happy for you on some level. You can understand this a little weird for me, so these are some of the things that, like I'm, not gonna, feel I may I don't know what it will be like for you, but maybe like I don't feel comfortable. do the engagement party, I don't feel comfortable doing this thing or because that where I'm at in my process. I love you are ruining for you, but, like

I need you to not. You know, make out with her in front of me or whatever and emotional boundaries, you're saying if you come into my space. This is how I need you to behave and as you go through this grief process, you have to hold your emotional boundaries in place. Don't try and be the good girl Don't try and be who everybody wants you to me be, who you need to be in this moment. and, if its helpful, imagine yourself as a younger version of you right whatever I think we all have an age should have been frozen inside of us. Maybe you have a point shove yourself. When you were ten or twelve or six. Imagine that you are taking care of that little girl that's really use. I mean the hardest time in this moment and so even it's hard for you to maybe stand up for yourself, because you are like I'm an adult. I should be able to handle this right. I see you laughing right. You're like I should be stronger. I should it's not only you is a younger version of you that showing up right now and

screaming and crying and grieving for her mamma and yours you're, trying to deal with that. And now you ve just seen- and this is such a hard thing- that we all have to go through. Maybe for the first time ever you just your daddy is a human right. That. its brutal when we realise that all stuff the we go through, that we make mistakes on that we don't know how to figure out. They also walks through that road so you can own hold space for the fact that he is human, long as you give yourself that same grace, because I bitterness and rage comes from us giving other people a gift we dont give ourselves, it's like me, getting mad at the kids and like aggressively cleaning the kitchen

Because I'm like, I just want to rest and you guys just get away around, I have to do all this, the vendetta what really going on in here is I've exhausted and I Do you ever do that as apparent agent or or to be your spouse? In your mind, you're like oh, I wish I could just sit around and watch old episodes, brazen anatomy. You totally can it's like we do these things for other people. We give them grace and in the lot of ways, grace is giving someone be opposite of what they deserve in. That moment, were only able to pour out that grace on other people for giving it to ourselves just go slow and also not even kidding, do. You know about a rage room

do you all know what a rage room is? They definitely have them and told us only five b, the shovel. Yes, you go into a room, you put on protective clothing, you take a bath and you beat the crap out of like computers, tvs, glass, bottles whatever. like stuff comes out of you from like your ancestors. Like things come out, you don't, even though you are mad about like seventh grade stuff comes out of you. It is amazing, allowing that stuff to come out when it needs to come out whether its tears, whether its anger, whether its laughter, whether its sleep, it's like whatever that is, allow your body to process it and just know that it takes a long time. You you're welcome guys given up three

I recently when on a fifty mile hike, that's fives oh, it was one of the most physically challenging things I've ever done in my life and my sidekick mike. copilot was kion aminos for serious you guys. I have Qian minos for a while to help me with my work out, but this was the first time that I had certain quickly use the minos to give me an extra boost of energy in the afternoon when I want to have any more Spress hope, because I had already had too much Qian minos are backed by over twenty years of clinical research. You mix it with some water and it tastes amazing, with all natural flavors, its non gmo sugar free. hundred percent vague in so, if you want to say goodbye to three p m slumps and finish your day off with natural, lasting energy check out key.

On a minos to save twenty percent, a monthly deliveries and ten percent on one time purchases just go to get key on dot com, slash rage! That's g! t k, I o n dot com. Slash are a c h to get your fundamental supplement for fitness Qian. Knows I have four children all at four different ages and whenever You have kids, what you don't think about is before oldest enters a grade. You ve never been in that great. Before so staying up today with the test. And what they need to be studying and how to best prepare them for school bat. That takes a lot if you're a you wanna be doing everything you can to set your kids out for success. I excel

is an online learning programme for kids. You can use it on you, computer, your phone or your tablet. I accept covers math language science and social studies through interactive practice, problems from pre k to twelve great you guys, I excel. Even has skill plans for specific text books as kids practice, they get positive feedback, a war. and clear explanations when they get a question wrong. Memberships at only nine dollars and ninety five cents a month with school year. Ramping up now is the best time to get. I excel miles. You can get an exclusive twenty percent off I excel membership when they sign up today, just head too I excel dot com, slash Hollis! That's I excel dot com, slash aid! Oh I'll, I ass to get the most effective learning programme out there at the best price

ok, like this the last question and at last week in phoenix all of the questions were about parenting and it was a little worried tonight, not that you couldn't handle it, but I was like what, if there are parents in the room, they don't want to listen to me talk kids if thing if you dont have kids and you hang out with me: I'm gonna convince you. Just live your life free and easy just your balls right off just get him out. Ok, what is your best advice on parenting, a young adult I've? nineteen year old daughter and she struggles with she struggles on her own and I struggle when to help and when not to help Do you want to talk, or do you want me just to ok, great, fantastic, oh well, see we already had a moment we're coming back again. Chando your nineteen year old, daughter,

Can we get a microphone robots and where you stand up for us and tell us your name, I'm karen, I karen I rachel so tell me, what's going on with your daughter, ok she's, nineteen and she moved out right the day she turned eighteen and decided she got it to go to college in another state, her dad nigh, assisted her ok she's on her own. She hasn't done college struggling job after job after job. She gives it through of this She talks about how it has been very hard for her because she was so much to succeed, but she can't hold the job. She doesn't know why she says. Sometimes it's hard for to get up in the morning to be able to go and even think going to work. She has for money all the time and ok stop giving her that I did ok, great that's step. Animal is seen as

yesterday. Ok right, look at our sins, like I did that twelve hours ago. I give it to her, I'm just distant, but the thing that rattles. because I'm gonna be fifty five. I have a younger daughter whose artistic and she with a little longer than we had planned, with my all this, she talked about suicide because she said mama, I'm worried about getting infected. I don't know. If I can do this and I struggle I don't. I can we sleep at night because gosh I like this is a

I believe it is therapy by the way. Now this is group therapy. Don't worry I'm going to make you laugh again, intimidate you're going to be fine. Don't normally do this? Oh I'm! So sorry, and I want you guys to know too that Karen at the top of her no, I literally wrote sorry exclamation point exclamation point with her question girl. I literally wrote a book about that. I do I do apologize. I read to her every person in this room, especially esteban is holding space for you right now, Every person in this room has their version of this. So don't apologize. There's a one hundred notes in here and the universe had me pick out your card so that you could stand here and understand that we're all holding space and that we see you. yeah so just be here with us,

so a couple of things. Let's approach this first from just being nineteen. Ok we'll take we'll talk about the emotional stuff in a minute, but just being nineteen years old, being nineteen is so freaking heart It always was hard and always will be hard, but now it's hard with the screen that shows you a perfect life that you are not able to achieve right So at any moment she can pick up her phone and see a bunch of people who are just doing it better than she is so why would she be motivated to get out of bed every day? Why would she want to keep showing like all of these? Things are stacking, it all feels hard and she has a perfect example of all the things. She's. Not that's incredibly daunting. So on the one hand, for a nineteen year old, who is just being nineteen. My my advice and I dont have a nineteen year old, my oldest sixteen, but what I would say is you to stop saving her.

you have to stop saving her and I mean financially you'd, be like baby girl, I'm here for you. We will talk it through. We will be here we're your cheerleaders, we're here for you in every way, but if, who keep saving her financially. She has no reason to go to work. and you could say. Oh my gosh, I love you. The junior college here in town is amazing. You're all bedroom still available like momentarily, got you. I don't if that's true but like come on back, come on back to salt lake city. We got you forever, but if you want to do this, if you want to pursue something, that's hard gonna be hard, and so, I think, what I'm one entirely with my kids, and I think it is really important for this generation for teenagers and the young teens is. Us to explain that line. is hard,

life is hard. It is hard to get your first job. It is hard to figure out how to hold one down it's hard to figure out how to pay. Rent is hard to figure out how to not like blow all the money on your credit card and then end up in debt, like all those pieces are difficult, and at least for me, maybe not for you guys, but at least for me. I learn how to be an adult by failing as a teenager,. I learned what it was like to have your power shut off your phone shut off. I learned that if you are going to have your current possess, you park it around the corner from your house so that the man can't find it like you get yourself in situations where you go never again I never want to go through something like that. Again, this experience up so much that I went to work hard to figure out how to not do it again next time now That being said, it is terrifying. How much! teenage girls especially are

struggling emotionally, and if you look at the science and you look at the data, there is one thing started in two thousand and eleven we saw suicide rates in teenage girls can start to rise songs. I grow. Depression grow, one thing start in two thousand and eleven, and that is social media being available to anyone anywhere all of the time, so It's also something that we have to be talking about to our kids, to our teenagers, to our friends of like this, thing is not real life. This is not real life and what our turn tell my teens, especially, is I'm like when you go on to something when you get off of it. If you don't feel better, if you don't feel energized, stop doing that thing. My instagram feed, if, if you follow me I'll, share alot my story so that I like it is almost exclusively

spiritual stuff someone's like here's, how open your third I am like yes, but that means tell me everything dog videos, things that will make you cry jokes and like pictures of the ocean. My feed on social media is joyful. It makes me so happy and anytime I encounter something in there. That makes me feel less than not is cool like I start go always out what ads are supposed to look like. I didn't know that, like anything that I might unfollow that fast Why would you continue to go to something over and over and over? That makes you feel like shit. if your phone, whatever you're doing on your phone, is not improving your life stop doing it?

And if you don't understand that a phone and scrolling obsessively on a phone is equal to numbing, with alcohol or drugs or porn or obsessively shopping, or whatever like this, is the new addiction. and it is hurting our kids so. She has had something stacked against her since she became a teenager, It is the environment that their living inside out. So I think- the best of your ability. If you're genuinely concerned, like she's, really struggling with this, then why don't you just say you know everybody that we're not always ready to do the thing we want to do yet and if you feel like you're, not ready to come back come back. You comforter still. I just watched it the everyday ready to go, but understand that if you come back it's so that my biker gangs, but

their stand, that if you come back it's so that you can have support from our community, not so that you can still struggle to go to work like that, let's get back, let's get in a good vibe. Let's find you some people that you can't. Let's find you some things that you can do like. This is a great solution for you, but it's either you gonna have, With your mom and dad, which kind of sucks when you're nineteen, so that might be catalysts enough for her to make some moves or europe gonna come on back home and we're gonna to figure this thing out as a family, but the other thing that I just want to remind you and every parent in this room. Is it doesn't matter if your kid is two months old or nineteen sheikh and feel the way you feel about her, your expectations for her right now Is that she struggling and she can't handle it. That is your expectations. and you are one of the most pivotal forces in her life and that's:

something bad that you are doing. That's like mama thing right, but if- that's what one of the most important people in her life thinks that's what she's gonna think about herself. So when you interact with her- and this can be something you do when you're not with her when you're on the phone with her when you're anything and you're energetically sending her good thoughts whatever I want you just to start like obsessively thinking about how awesome she is, what are the characteristics that make her special? Why is she the best focus on the stuff that she is so good at and let that feel you're being so that every time you interact with her like right now, if the rock came out here, because he's one of my favorites throughout if the rock came out here- There is only one energy that we expect the rocks or walk on stage with There's only one our expectation of the rock is that he's working on stage as the mother. If, in rock, and so, if you

Spected, the rock on the phone and got someone who is really low and really depress, unlike couldn't get to work on time, you'd be like holy crap once you but instead, when she tells you that she's really struggling to get to work on time or whatever you're like honey, I'm assuming you compassion you feel with her. You meet her where she sat because that's you expected to find. so changed the energy that you are bringing to this relationship use discernment about whether or not this is something like baby girl come on back home, but no matter what you guys decide to do as a family expect greatness from her expect So let's expect that she is going to soar, expect that she is going to blow us all away, expect that maybe she takes a year off and kind of figures herself out and then she goes and makes the whole world expert, because she so may expect that

spectre of yourself and expect that of her. Can it ass Karen. is this something that you ever struggle within yourself, anxiety or fear, or worried that you're. Not enough! Yes, can you everything you said, I do do that when I get on the phone with her, she has no idea. I cried. Oh, my husband to my friend I like you. This could she's so smart drain, amazing drag me about mary inches yes, I do. I do do you actually believe it here no, no, no, when you're telling her like they are you there's like, but do you are you? What I'm trying to get out is like energy, that you give someone,

you told us I'm worried about my daughter and chando- knows you're worried about your daughter. There is no way that you are interacting with her, no matter how much of a year later, you are there's no way she's, not feeling that, even if it's a conscious, that's true, so just it's something that you can work on in yourself. It will raise the energy that you bring to the right to the relationship. I know it sounds weird, but the kid in your life, it's annoying you the most I'm not saying she's annoying. But if you got an annoying kid, sir obsessing over their awesome, qualities right, like all that there really funny- and there are so sweet to the door when there now having his tail on fire, whatever like just focus on the good stuff, because what ever you start to see becomes a reality, maybe she's way stronger than you realize and I know like, There'S- there's lots of factors in this one.

without you know a couple hours, does it just a few ideas is like me her with an energy that sees who she could be not who she is right now have a real honest conversation about what needs to happen in her life and stop, leaving her financially. That's what I very much hope of getting here going to give it up for her ok, true story, egg lands best eggs was my first advertiser ever back when I had a blog, so I have a special place in my heart for the

only eggs with more farm, fresh, delicious tastes, plus superior nutrition, like six times more vitamin d, ten times more vitamin e and twenty five percent, less saturated fat, then regular eggs egg lands best better. Take better nutrition, better eggs for more information and delicious recipes visit egg lands best doc The I love to see the beautiful clothes that people where on social media or on a red carpet, but I'm gonna be honest. I'm a genes and t shirt kind of girl. I am for as long as I can remember I like, those that are comfortable that are breathable and that hold their shape. That's why I like cotton, cotton last longer holds it shape and if you

I have clothing that at least sixty percent cotton. It's less likely to be achieved and clinging. There are also health and wellness perks of cotton. Typo allergenic an released, Odors and stains more easily in the wash it breathes. Well, it absorbs moisture, and it just makes me feel good, so don't forget to check the label and make sure its cotton the fabric of our lives the. so what's going on at work, I hate my job. You Hey you're job, I love what I do, but I hate the amount of work it costs me and I feel like I'm missing my kids life because it yeah anyone else identify with what denser yeah. Ok, jen. Can you give us an example what that looks like I would I start work every morning at six p m at home, so I work from six to seven. Then I get my kids up. We get ready, I take them swollen than I drive into the office,

and when I work until about four thirty: five: thirty: ok, what do you do? I'm accounting manager, ok and then a contract company. So and why that many hours, others just how much work, and then we just laid off my co worker, so I've incorporated her work. Is your company? not my company, so it's your company and you're making all of the money that they saved when they laid off the coworker right right right, okay, so just just cause! I just want to. I want to track this and I'm being a little bit silly, but sometimes it's very helpful to hear someone just repeat it back to you, so you work twelve or thirty. Hours a day. Guess for someone else s and he just took on the workload of someone that they laid off. So I could save funds you don't get any of the profit for the company? right, how have you been at this business saddle before years next month? Ok, have you started looking for another job? No, why?

for the reason you said earlier, I'm too busy to take on one more thing that fuckin real, ok. Here's the thing that I want you to understand if Jane, doesn't touch in with her intuition and understand why she's making this choice, because it's not that you too busy, if you don't understand why you're getting their job and repeat this again right. So have you ever done something like this before taken on more than you shut up taken? Another bluntly stuff: ok, and is That you love the company law, I've ass, you love your boss. I absolutely let my ok and they have no other option other than you last year, two of our. So there was four of us and then one left cause. He moved to washington had a baby moved,

we hired someone else and then the senior who was above me also quite at the same time and my boss is trying to retire. So I feel a little trapped. do you have anything like this in your life with family or parents? Were you fellow? Can you take care of them know? I have the most supporting family? Ok, when it. Are you the only human on the planet that your boss could get to do this job? It feels that way, but most likely. No, of course not. There is always someone else. I can do it right Are you the only mamma that your kids king, my case sorry, I not noticed that before yeah yeah, I guess it's a really decent thing to want to take care of some one that you admire and that you work with for four years, and that has done these things. every yes to the boss- is a note. Your kids.

I feel it yeah. Have you ever just tried to say I can work from nine to five and I've actually just started recently just kind of adamantly saying I'm not going to keep doing this land and are they respect yeah yeah he's very respectful. So why are you so start work at sixteen I'd like to see my nails and start the day that way, but I probably should do my own thing at six. A m o work out things like that. Do you think it's possible that you might just be in a routine? Yes, I no, I think it's drinking and putting some energy away. Instead of drinking I myself in the work, yeah yeah work. All ism for sure is a way that we distract ourselves. What would happen if, on Monday morning, at six a m you just

add, coffee and meditated and do some gratitude. Work maybe took a walk, probably helped my blood pressure a lot cause rather than having medical issues because of it right. I can be real with you right now. Jen absolutely and my kids just lost their dad you can see they take his medical issue seriously. I'm really sorry of oh! No! No! I don't want you know, I'm really sorry about that. Inky anyway. Thank you, but I just the talk about this a lot of this idea, That we are as sick as our secrets that when You don't take care of your health because you think man next week next monday, when the kids are older,

when my boss retires. When this happens, then I'll take care of myself. Then I'll take care of myself, and I you know, I saw him the day that he died and I can tell everybody in this room. He didn't think he was going to die. That night tomorrow is not a guarantee ever ever we do not know how many days we have left on this earth. I have done so many conferences, so many conferences, where here a month later or two months later, that someone who is in the room dinah in a car accident. You know Six, something happened, died of covert and in that room, they were sitting there, they were jumping up and down, they were planning. Their lives are like I'm about to be the best mama, I'm about to be the best friend I'm about to do this, and this and this they had all of these plans for their life, because they thought that they had some day, and this is it. This is all you've got.

Monday. What? If it's your last monday, I It's crazy and it sounds so morbid, but it could go that fast. if it did, would you be proud of the way that you're living your life? Would you be proud of how you show up for the kids? Would you be part of our you're taking care of yourself, and I dont say that from a place of shame, and I hope you don't feel that. But we don't know when it's done. we don't know one! That's it you keep showing up in this way. If you keep burning the candle at both ends, if you keep putting the blood sure go if you keep. If you keep, if you keep me we find maybe live to be a hundred, but what is the quality of your life break? How does it have to get before you make a change.

Do you know the answer to that question? I got pretty about a week ago, so it's I'm already making changes could not the best it's a very slow process, but there I'm addressing it the medical side of it at least. I wouldn't have talked about him tonight for sure. I said that I feel really strongly that you need to hear that. Thank you. Don't don't fuck around with this. I won't Like maybe you are sitting here tonight for this moment too, your how serious it is even if it's not even if like The angels are laughing like she's living to be one hundred and fifty we're going to cryogenically freezer and then bring her back later. That'd be weird, maybe, but just in case live like tomorrow. Isn't guaranteed live like tomorrow, isn't guaranteed. There are a lot of ways:

to pay your bills, there are lots of ways to show up for this boss and this mentor that you love. There are a lot of. Energetically love on them to support them the friend to be there for them, but to just say and you have a fantastic excuse for my health. I have to take a step back right now. There are so many ways that you can do this thing. Don't say that we're too busy this this moment this body? This is all you've got, say it all the time. What do you say, I'm too busy inside all of that yeah. It's a lie. It's a lie: you're, not too busy or too distracted, Slow down, that's the name of the game. This is them. The monitor, I keep saying to myself, we're gonna slowdown when a slow down so that we can be conscious, weaken here with this is saying we can hear the guides are telling us so and see the signs? So we can go,

a comedy show where a czech pulls us out of the crowd of two hundred people at random and has an entire conversation about our house. Has that's what the guides wanted tonight there no accidents Jan make a promised us make a promise yourself. Not and mess around with this anymore. I promise I will not mess around with this anymore. Because you're not one more, I'm curious, what more we talked about. Thank you for that honesty. We talked about em. this idea of why we keep doing things that we know, we shall do why we're not listening to the inner wisdom and she said that she shovels with it and business. Is there anyone else who feels like their struggling with mindset or relationships or yeah yeah mack?

I, if you raise your hands like hearing you give them. I am the call in the cold, give it up for nicole the boy you're going to love my right. I know you're so happy that you raised your hand right so tell me how you feel like you're struggling right now, and so I've always struggled to listen to my intuition in relationships I've always knew here and here like run for the door and I wouldn't listen, and then I got into a relationship I was listening to here. You know and everything's great, and then he left, you know just out of nowhere. So it's like if I listen to my intuition or if I don't it's like in relationships with ministers? Has anyone ever felt like she feels we raise your hand,

we turn just look at the room, real quick, just cause. I want you to know that you are not the only one. First of all come here? That's how get out now climb back up here. Ok, now here's the thing. I know I'm public going to you stuff that other people have told you, but in the same way, jen lesson, I want you to hear this as something that some someone bigger want you to get time. He didn't leave because you listen to your intuition. He left us he's a fucking area because if he wasn't he'd still be here with you, he be there

uncomfortable, like metal right. And I know its brutal, when someone that you want doesn't want you back right, that's brutal, Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't get how maisie you're right so I ask: what can we just be real for a second? Was he am? I guy that place our common now? Are you who he hooked up with many other? Why right was this? Guy was the reincarnation of Zeus right where this

is about him that, like was everything, perfect, perfect, perfect or whether perhaps things that you were like pay emotionally unavailable. That was the big thing. So you said your listening to your intuition, but that you or what guy who was emotionally unavailable? And so what I m going to tell you? Is you weren't listening to intuition? this inside of us? This is divine. This not you This is something much greater than you. This is the wisest version. This is the biggest it can even be contained in your body. We train get very small and very quiet, but this thing is its god within, its massive and it doesnt air incorrectly. so when you were with this man and he was emotionally unavailable to you,

I'm guessing maybe take some boxes in your imagination of what you wanted in a partner right so like on paper, maybe yeah. So are we sure that we were listening to this and not to this problem so he's emotionally unavailable, and how does that make you feel abandoned abandoned? How did that feel in your body anxiety, anxiety. Where does anxiety show up for you like where in your body, can you feel about it and my stomach and you're so dumb anxiety in their stomachs I'll tell you that anxiety for me is in my heart. My heart starts to pound when my stunned mc gets upset, which just happens to be your gut, and your intuition? It shows up here. so he started to feel energy here you he felt negative energy here here. What would he

I do that made you feel emotion like he was emotionally unavailable to you, and so he likes to deal with things on his own, and that was the reason that he left that he wants to deal with something on his own and and I would always have to push the conversations and yeah so and when I, He just wouldn't like open up where you anyone ever dealt with an emotionally unavailable partner and it always works. We push them right. so well, yeah howling! We lay scattered about two years, two years I'm in a maker sweeping generals- sean and gas. That you are now mostly in a relationship with what Then your imagination.

can someone who's emotionally unavailable, not meeting you half way. We go into the world looking for love, and we think that we're looking for what we saw in jerry Maguire unless all of us up you complete me, nobody completes you. A relationship with two half people trying to complete each other is called co dependence. To be in a healthy relationship, you have to be a whole and complete person meeting up with a whole and complete person, and for this guy I promise you do not want to be with someone who hasn't figured out. behold, complete because No man, woman, anybody who was hole Would be in a relationship for two years and be emotionally unavailable to you, but I think a lot

of those things you know in your heart of hearts right here, you know what was net gary he feels like a gary women com Gary jerry. It wasn't right for you, gary, I appreciate the fact that your glasses match her skirt, matra sheila. so more important than gary and why he's an idiot and why he wasn't meant for you he's on his own journey. Let him like give him up to god. It's fine. What does the future look like for you, not ass. All exactly sir, you hoping to find love is ok and that will have that manifest in your life right now. Look what you actively doing! Oh I'm doing nothing right now, because this is reason o k. I also its new ok, maybe like three weeks ago. Oh

ok, ok! Well, first of all, let me give you and then I'm we're just gonna draw the next six months for you. I don't want you to look at another pain honestly a year honestly, because here is my thing, and I know that because I have been with two men sat a lot of wisdom, but I feel like Someone has been with more, I feel like they would agree we don't attract into our lives. What we want we attract into our lives. What we are we attract into our lives? What we So if you go out into the world- and you start looking for love, you are going to attract some at a very similar vibrational level to you right now right? now. You are hurt, disappointed right what else sad brain

you're all of these different feelings that you have going on and you and put on a cue scar. You can go out in the world, you can go meet someone, but you going to attract someone. That is some version of what you are right now. So, if you want, track? Someone amazing, become someone amazing. If you want to attract a whole and complete person, do your fucking therapy do your work figure yourself out, go to greece. Maybe I don't know, I'm serious, like goes, go, travel, go see the world become uninteresting person do interesting things. The crazy shit happens when you go. Do that you me other people who are doing the same thing. I dont think that, go out and the world looking for love. I think you go up Well, because you love yourself and you find people who are the same way so a year like the year of you, it's the you,

of you, it's figuring out who you are what you love. It's also staring in a mirror and being very honest about how you contributed to this thing. Because let me ask you something: ass earlier on in the night. When did you now in your heart of hearts the gear air was and emotionally available to you, prime beginning in the beginning, like a month a month and. So what did you tell yourself to convince self to stand that it will get better, that it will get better, ok The thing on in here, like really look mean that right now. When someone tells you who they are believe them you. haven't you an incredible imagination? Your creator

I'm literally looking at you. I can't help painting pink bloom. paula, Do you are you a reader you book, nerd yak into takes, wondered, ok, so You have an idea. your head of what love looks like man's looks like. I want you to work on, giving that you yourself take yourself on an adult. sure when you see an opportunity when something looks exciting you're, like I don't know, what's gonna happen, do it for the plot point do for this chapter of your life. You have to figure out who you are and you we'll have to love yourself so much. That you would never let anyone else into the romance novel of your life. Who didn't deserve to be there? Ok,

Fuck Gary the rachel, how is podcast is produced by me rachel, Yes, it's edited by andrew weller and jack noble. have you heard? Slinky offers the news, you love for less weight. You look sound just like me, I get the EU and the sea these programmes on selling tv for less you mean you're me, but for less money, a lot less I'm the favourite news programmes and more on selling tv starting forty dollars a month, everything great about me, but for less money, which makes me greater than today, if the news, you love and more or less start saving today, visits Linda com to see your offer life come

with a lot of decisions, and it can be hard to know the right path. Sometimes a therapist can help you map out what you really want. So you trust yourself to make great choices and feel excited about the future. Better help offers convenient professional online therapy on your schedule, however, you want it by phone chat or video call. Let there be your map with better help, visit, better help, dot com slashed stitched today to get- and percent off your first month. That's better help. H e l, p, dot com, slash stitcher,.