« The Rachel Hollis Podcast

533: 5 Paths to Growth that Can Change Your life

2023-12-13 | 🔗
This episode originally aired March 20, 2023 Have a question you want Rach to answer? An idea for a podcast episode?? Call the podcast hotline and leave a voicemail! Call (737) 400-4626 Sign up for Rachel’s weekly email: https://msrachelhollis.com/insider/ Watch the podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/RachelHollisMotivation/videos Follow along on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/MsRachelHollis/
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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when we become interested in something when you become intrigued by something that our inner b in are our sole are who we are inside. However, you choose to look at that. The diversion of us expands with the interest it expands. It gets bigger and that when you do anything that brings you closer to the version of you that just expanded internally, that is passion. That's excitement the the vibrational level that shows up when you do something when you move in the direction of where your spirit is calling you too, because you ve expanded in that way. Those are the good feeling vibrations but when you are
interested in something and your sphere, it has expanded and you don't do anything in the direction of that expansion. That's where boredom comes them. That's where stuckness comes in. That's where dissatisfaction comes, that's where anger bitterness, That's where negative, lower vibrations come in, because you were living. In contrast with what your spirit is calling for. Hi, I'm rachel Hollis, and this is my podcast. I spend so many hours of every single week reading and listened podcast and watching youtube videos and trying to find out as much as I can about the world around me and that's what we do on this show. We talk about everything
life and how to be an entrepreneur. What happened dinosaurs? What's the best recipe for fried chicken? What's the best plan for intermittent fasting? What's going on with our inner child house therapy working out for whatever it is. My guess are into. I want to unpack it so that we can all understand these our conversations. This is Information for the curious, this is the rachel Hollis I guess I had an idea for this episode and I feel like it's one to one of those that, like I sort of get a nudge from something something
in my head or my heart, or hopefully something greater and bigger than me. Who has some better ideas than I do, but I want to talk about how to change your life, which I have done a lot over the last decade. I've talked about a million different ways to change your life, but I had this thought for an angle on conversation that I don't think I've ever done with you guys before and it seems sort of. interesting to me, which is you find yourself in the time periods where you know that you need a change, but you don't know what kind of change. Maybe your feelings back or maybe you're feeling my gosh? My life is really good that give you stepped back and you do your gratitude practice and you look at it and your honest with yourself. You know that you're so blast Life's good, you have everything on paper that you know you thought you
on it and you still feel dissatisfied. Are you still feel frustrated, or maybe you're asking yourself just to yourself? You don't say to anybody else, but in those quiet moments you're like is this all there is. And we're not supposed to say that were never supposed to admit that because it feels like, if you do your immediate. We have people pounce on you and say like you should be grateful. I wish I had you had, or your mama and you'll talk about how hard it is to have a three year old and in some other mom will be like. Oh, I wish I could go back to when my Nature was a baby and my people, rum,
you're right to feel frustrated or try and take away your ability to be sad about something actually was having this conversation with my teenager last night, I was driving him home from sports practice, which, by the way is I do talk a lot of crap to myself and my friends and my boyfriend about how much time commitment. It takes to have your kid in sports and my kid is not just in one sport using in literally every sport that you can sign up for really wanna honour that for him, because that's his thing and that just means I have to drive a lot
I do joke about it a lot and talk a lot of crap about it, but this new season of baseball has started and it means there's one particular practice that it takes about forty five minutes, both ways and the practice ends at eight thirty. So it's like late at night, at least for me, it's late at night and takes us forever to get home, but I forgot because it hasn't been baseball season, for minute that we have the best conversations you now I really find out. What's goin on with him, I really get to talk to him about some deeper stuff, and I was grateful for that reminder last night that it's very easy for me to sort of only look at this in one way and forget
oh. This is my tends to connect with him in a way that I will not get too otherwise. So inevitably we end up talking about qana deeper stuff in these conversations and these rights home, and he was talking about a situation that he feels really frustrated by and as an adult, it's easy for me to look at what he's frustrated by and kind of go in my head not out loud but kind of thing. Ok, this isn't fair. Like you're, a young man, you're frustrated by something that someone else is doing What they're doing is really none of your business and they are allowed to be who they are and all of these things it's very easy. I could see. Be a mom from on high and give him this advice
we're talking through that last night, and I was doing my best to not put too much of my perspective on his experience, but just allow him to unpack it. But the one thing I did say to him as much as I was kind of trying to talk him around and give him perspective from. Potentially this other kids point of view here are sort of these five reasons that this may be. Is your thing not there. thing, but also I want to honour that you for fresh aided by this, or that this makes you feel sad, or this makes you feel. However, it makes you feel, because its unfair ever to tell some one that they aren't allowed feel how they feel, and we do this a lot. We do this allow, especially with our kids, cause we're like we no better!
and if you did not listen to the conversation, I have with doktor shall folly about conscious parenting. Liese go listen to that. It's a couple! Episodes good, so freaking good, but essentially that goal of being a conscious parent is allowing them to kind of become who they are and not tell them who they are, and I think you and I probably have experiences based on when we were raised and may be how we will raise unless you are like the one percent of this audience that had you know, really cool conscious parents back in the seventies and eighties of the nineties. But most of us did it most of us had parents who are
in their best, but didn't really have the tools and skills that we might have liked until a lot of our parents, gas. Let us- and I know that word gets tossed around a lot and it gets toss around like this trendy thing, but really gas lining is when you are using your influence on someone to discredit what they know to be true.
Or to take away what they're saying is true for them, and really manipulative people will gaslight you enough into not being able to trust her own judgment, and I think for you listening to this. If you are then to fight with what I was saying at the top of the episode that maybe you find yourself in a season where you feel frustrated, are you fill board or you feel discontent or any of those things and you're afraid to say them out loud, because you don't wanna, be judged for thou or because you don't want someone to tell you that that isn't true, that's not a safe space for you to process inside of sulphur! Today's episode, I'd love for you to feel the freedom to be honest,
with yourself as we have this conversation to be honest with yourself about how you're feeling right now or maybe not even feeling freshwater sec. Maybe you just know that life could be better. Maybe you sense that there's more, for you may be you You just know that you could feel better in this experience, whether that's emotionally, spiritually, physically mentally. However, it works itself out for you. In this conversation I just
you have the freedom to be real about where you are. I think that the reason that people freak out when we say that were feeling any of those feelings, boredom frustration that we feel stock that we feel on shore is because, typically we say those things to the people who are closest to us. We say it to her husband. We say to our wife, we say to our best friend or a parent or our sister and most of the time when someone hears that kind of thing, the entire conversation stops being about what you just said or what you are feeling and starts being about how what you said makes them feel how
that make them feel about your shared life together. How does it make them feel about their own life and where they are there's something about this concept that really like freaks people out? It might actually be more effective, more productive and healthier for you. If you are feeling these things to just process them internally or process them with a therapist or process them in your journal to work through the way you're feeling with out involving some one else, especially- and I am going to make a sweeping generalization that is gender specific and take this or leave us, but
most men now. I should say that I dont know if all men do this, but a lot of men that I know my ex husband, my daddy, MIKE her boyfriend. If you tell them. a problem that you're having their immediate response. I'm like an pausing cause. I just want you to complete the sense like we're in turkey. Is they want to said you are telling it potentially You are saying a thing because you want to process it. You said: okay, we hold space for me most men. In my experience, hear you say that you have a problem and immediately think I've got my marching orders. I shall fix this bless so for what it's worth. Let's just process this you and me, and let's talk about ways that you can change. So, if you're,
knowing that feeling of uncertainty or you're just wanting more your craving something, but you don't know what it is. I thought I would talk. You threw one two, three, four five different ways that you can change your life. These are not specific. This is not lack walk every day and you have a better. It's not that it's essentially five different paths. Imagine that you are at a crossroads, you're standing at a stop sign and your look here.
Five different road you can walk down now, certainly ya'll. There are more than five, but I'm going with the five most obvious to me. The five path that I have walked down that have changed the trajectory of my life in major ways and that perhaps you haven't consider get before. I tell you what they are. My one request: don't assume that any particular thing I'm gonna mention is not for you or not for people like you, and I we tell ourselves these stories. We say like well, that's for people like my sister who are super motivated or that's for my partner, because she is really good at that kind of stuff, dull assume ever that something is not for. You
I cannot tell you how many times in life I have gone years or decades, seeing something that I thought was cool, but just assumed I'm not talented enough for that, I'm not graceful, and for that I dont know how to do I've, just sort of taken myself completely out of the potential of something being for me and in doing so messed years of what would have been a fantastic periods. For me, when later on, I discovered that, oh, in fact, this actually is totally.
for me- and I love doing it and I've missed, you know thirty years when I could have been trying and I'm going to get to that, we're going to talk about those specifically, but just assume that everything is a possibility for you, because if you want to change your life, if you want to improve your life, you want to make it better. That's a freaking fantastic place to start is to assume the possibilities are endless and you are worthy and capable of trying anything, you find interesting, hey guys. This episode is brought to you by the first ever toyota grand highlander. We are deep in the midst of fall. And for my family, that means road trips, mostly involving me acquiring one million pumpkins for real. Nobody cares about the bumpkins, but me, but I loaded,
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like me or if it is taking care of other people around you, we can spend it's time pouring out in the season that we dont think about? resting in ourselves and if we're thinking of investing in yourself, I think that therapy, and specifically better help one of the greatest gives you can give yourself. The season it's entirely online and designed to be convenient flexible and did to your schedule in this he's in of giving give yourself what you need with better help visit better help, dot com, slash rage, and you get ten percent off your first month, that's better help hd lp dot com, slash reach all right. The first path, we're gonna talk,
that can change your life and I'm gonna start here, because it doesn't at first glance, seem like something that could a hobby, no four well. I promise I promise. These are all good. We really good today, but I intensely tried to pick something that you wouldn't think would be life changing, but it One hundred percent is: please allow me to pitch you on why you need a new hobby. Ok, let's go back to this idea, at there were all of these things that I assumed growing up were not for me and in fact a lot of the things on this list. When I look through them, there were times where I thought that couldn't be mine or I didn't have the knowledge or the skills, or there is no way I could change my
in that particular way, but a hobby I think, is probably this has happened. Most often I've told you a million times about, When I took up long distance running, I had a partner who decided to sign up for half marathon. He did it when I was seven months pregnant. I couldn't do it with him I had never been a runner. I couldn't I never exercise, I didn't do cardy. I didn't know how to do. Many of us and always assumed that it wasn't for me and I hated it like. I would have told you I hate running, I'm sure I said that publicly many times, but then he did it and I fell.
jealous. I was like all that looked really cool. I like that there was a training schedule. I like that. You got to good or re stay. I like that. He got a bed and a meadow just seem so cool the picture seem cool. So I promised myself that, when, like after I had my son, that I would run a half marathon as well, so I had four word and whose now ten and a year later so the same half marathon that my partner had run. I decided to run and just if you ve never done it, it was a disney half marathon. I talked about disney races forever. I think they are the best planned, organised, funniest, most joyful, most magical things on the planet. I highly recommend never done one book,
the spencer of as hell by, if you ve, never run a race, you don't really understand why it's more expensive until you do a disney run and then you do like another run the tax price and there are no porter parties and everything's disorganized and the pavement is torn up and you like hurt yourself, I'm just saying: there's a reason that their expensive I took on long distance running and absolutely fell in love with. It fell in love with every part of it, I think what felt so good to me is that, as I was doing it every new mile, I logged when I would get to a mile or a mile and a half for the first time when I would get to five miles later, when I would do higher numbers. When I got to eighteen miles when I ran eighteen miles without stopping every time. I did it all. I was.
literally shocking myself. I dont think of myself is naturally athletic. Definitely not graceful nations that have speak those things into action, since, but I'm pretty klutzy, I'm not you know. No one's ever seen me walk through a room and been like, oh my god, the grace the shrub. No one saying that they're, like oh who's, that it's weird she looks like she's, bouncing in high heels, the remote she's wearing sneakers. It's just like I'm not There is something really powerful about surprising myself, and I cannot say this enough. It's why I'm pitching you on a hobby, because if you do something that current does not believe you are capable of you, ve, always one,
and to play electric guitar or you've always wanted to go horseback, riding you'd love to take a tap class. Maybe you want to get back into soccer because you loved soccer, when you were in high school at like this, is so boring king, powerful and relevant to the way that we see ourselves is that you start with some interest you like with that. Seems interesting or maybe like me, you start with some jealousy, maybe use someone rollers looking at venice beach in their fortys, and you like our awoke snarking about you know, oh well, must be nice to blah blah blah, and then you realize that the snarky enos is coming from a place of Joe see because they're doing something that secretly you wish you could do, and then you just sign up for the thing you take the lessons you by the states. You do it
and you do it enough into you. Have that moment of, like click wholly crap. I didn't know that I was this person, I didn't know that I could do this thing, there's something powerful about doing things that you didn't know you were capable of doing my most recent version of this is learning to ski I've talks in a lot and I'm talking about it a lot because I love it, and I cannot believe that I love it. I really can't I obviously my whole life. I saw people skiing in my head. That was something rich people do cause. Skiing is really expensive and I definitely in growth in a family who knew how to ski or could have afforded it anyway. so the first moments gang was in my early twenties with an axe, and it was a you know. Joe
kind of a sucky experience all around, we were like saying in a cabin with some random people from work. I was like a bunch of guys and then me and the guys were, like I realize in retrospect, all really broly and that sort of aid, my ex become really brodie and order sort of game- the environment. For that to happen, I just remember being like this sukhi trap, and so I had gone. I didn't take lessons You know I didn't really know anything about how to do it, and so, when I did it, I was terrified and I did it pretty badly. I was proud of myself
for doing it. I was proud of myself for getting down the bunny slopes a couple of times, but it was so terrifying to me that I kind of like check the box and was like alright. I tried that not for me and moved on with my life and subsequently now. Twenty years later, I have a partner who's, european who's, a skier, fabulous skier and does ski trips with his friends, and he as talked about skiing since I met him, so I sort of knew eventually, I was going to have to go on a ski trip where I was going to get to go on a ski trip, but I kind of though I'll just go and I'll be there for the app re, so ap re sky is like after use. Yelled at you go have happy hour essentially cause. I didn't know that. Maybe you know that, but I didn't know that, because I didn't grow up skiing, And by the way, what a glorious tradition that is just like, oh, you are freezing cold. You have
worked out. All day long, you ve been the mountains. It's beautiful and now we're in go sit in this cosy are on the mountain and have glue vine or an ice cold beer or something amazing and adjust its whole thing. I am loving scheme, and I'm still not very good at it, but I'm officially have skewed enough now that I'm not scared, so I've done seven ski days this year, which is a lot more you go for like one or two days all years, I've done seven ski days in a month and a half which is great is not enough time pass that I got scared of it again. and yeah, I'm really loving it, and I cannot believe how much I'm loving it and it's shifting the way. I think about myself on so many levels. Skiing is a ball ache like it is
so much work to get the gear on and the boots it's like heavy hard you gotta care just like an, I can be a fossil chew guys I can. I can yeah, and so I dont naturally gravitate two things that just are like so much work, so the hobby is kind of the same as when I took horse, guiding lessons when you do horseback riding lessons. Your round animal! It's scary, european could throw you not only that, but when you're done you got a wash the worse down. You gotta like clean up their poop. You gotta do things and I love stuff that puts me outside, of who I perceive myself to be, because if you do a hobby that changes the perspective that you have about yourself, it is impossible for you to do that and not go. Oh well,.
what else am I wrong about? Am I wrong about how well can do financially, Am I wrong potentially about what, I'm worth when it comes to my relationships. There is perspective, shifting power in picking up a hobby. That the old challenging that you're, not a hundred percent that you can do and you do it. I read the most incredible thing this morning during my morning. Retain the most incredible thing. It was talking about emotion and manifesting, unlike vi racial levels and I've read about this extensively and a read about it for years, but it
breeding about? It causes everyone, so I like this morning you find, a line or nugget or something that shifts the way that you look at this thing you ve been looking at and what I heard this morning was the idea that, when we become interested in something when we become intrigued by something at our inner being our our soul are who we are inside? However, you choose to look at that that that version of us expands with the interest it expands. It gets bigger and that when you do anything that brings you closer to The version of you that just expanded internally, that is passion. That's excitement that
the vibrational level that shows up when you do something when you move in the direction of where your spirit is calling you too, because you ve expanded in that way. Those are the good feeling vibrations. But when you are interested in something and your spirit has expanded- and you don't do anything in the direction of that expansion- that's where boredom comes in. That's where starkness comes in, that's where disease this faction comes and that's where anger bitterness, that's where negative, lower vibrations come in, because you living. In contrast with what your spirit is calling for: and to that end, basically everything. We'll day of your life every moment of your life, you can do a check in and see.
Am I being guided by what's inside of me and my moving in the direction of this thing that I am passionate that I love that I'm excited for like is that happening or em, feeling negative emotions in my feeling. These other feelings, If I am feeling those other feelings, it means I'm moving further away from who I know I'm called to be. Oh, I just thought that was really cool. I love that perspective. That was a esther hicks in case you're, curious, so yeah. I think you should get a hobby, I think hobbies seem trivial and sometimes even having a hobby might seem selfish, but having a hobby can change your whole life. Verbal vacation homes come with twenty four seven life support So. If you ever need anything, you can reach a real person in about a minute
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together memories and treasured symbols in a way that, as unique as the person, your gifting pandora loves. Unbar. Next find a store near you or shop online at pandora, dot at the oh, my god, I have to tell you. So this is a big deal today. You guys, my oldest is sixteen and he got his drivers license and this morning was the first time that he drove himself to school. So I made him When he got there, it's just said: I part is horrifying mom. So anyway, I made it there and he's alive. Thank goodness! Oh wow, I have a sixteen year old who drives that's crazy, okay, so the first way that you can change your life is a hobby. The second way that you can change your life. Don't ignore this one.
Is to change your health, but you guys know that already. I want to mention it because Maybe you need the reminder. Maybe you need the knowledge Maybe you need the call to kind of get back on the path you started at the top of this year, and maybe you have already found yourself diverted from it, but if you're feeling lethargic, if you're feeling tired, if you're feeling you know, are your hormones swinging like mine were for years, it took me forever to balance out my hormones and any of these things that when you sort of check in with self, you understand that you're feeling badly in the season, not because you need to make a change and maybe not because you need a hobby, but
because your health is and where it should be. Maybe you need to go back to therapy. Maybe you need to see a psychiatrist. Maybe you need to start eating in a way that makes you feel better. Maybe you need to start moving in a way that makes you feel better. That honours the body that you have not the one that the media tells you you're supposed to aspire to. You know we I have talked about health in a hundred different ways on this podcast, with all sorts of different experts in theirs loads of information. You can find not just for me, but from people that are far wise. then, I am on the subject, but I do know that. Changing my health at different times in my life changed everything else getting healthy physically a decade ago changed everything. It took my life in a completely different path and change
seeing my health in terms of mental, an emotional while being that happen more than once. It's it's a fork in the road it take. Takes you just in a totally different direction, then you were headed and it gives you clarity and peace of mind and helps you to be a better human, a better friend, sister partner, mother, husband, like whatever you are. It's gonna make you a better meet a better entrepreneur or like if your health is an intact. Nothing else is gonna, be there You know you could be a billionaire and if you have deteriorating health, there's there's no. enough money in the world. Steve jobs like he was that steve jobs died prematurely, And all the money in the world could save him from that. Your health is found the additional and your wife so knocking
into a deep dive on why you need to take care of your health, because you know that I know you do. But I want included on the list in case. You need the reminder today, you know You are taking care of yourself the way that you, your spirit, calls you too, if you feel like you're, not don't allow one second of shame to color that awareness, because that shame is just going to slow you down. It's just going to make you feel worse, it's not going to motivate you! It's not going to give you momentum, so I'm going to serve! You is not going to serve you in any way, so I give it power one of the most important things we can do when it comes to our health is just to see. What's really going on, see it as it is, don't make it worse than it is and don't make it uses for why it is the way it is just like be real.
Real with where you are coming off- backside of the holidays. I always have to have that checking with myself, like ok you not being able to about your genes, has nothing to do with being about start. Your period you can on your genes, because it's the first week of january- and you have lived your best life over christmas and that's fine and well and good, but we have to be honest about that, so that we can make a change we gotta get back. and to the way that we. No is going to make us feel the best. That's the conversation with there's no shame there is no spiralling out because I, from a million past experiences that, if I shame my of about, my health are actually just were a bell and go further in the other direction. Because I'm an emotional eater? And so, if I make myself, feel negative emotions with my thought process, I'm a reach for the exact opposite of what I want.
but if I'm just real about it, like ooh, look had a good time arrived right, fantastic, let's, like lay off of the beer now because it's time to back in the direction of a lemon water and feeling better. The third way that you can change your life is to change your work, and in this sense you can change your work and one of two ways. The first is to continue doing the same work continue. The same job or the same business, but to reignite passion and purpose around what you do. So, if you're feeling this, you know discontentment with what you do every single day. First of all, life is too short. Life is too freaking shore, and there are too many ways that you can make money to stay indefinitely in a career
you hate and man, even back in the day when I was working, three jobs and I was so broke Even then, One of the jobs I had was like. I was in a, and I was a god, eighteen or nineteen o the baby and one of the jobs I had was working for a like a manager like a talent manager like she. You know if you are an actor or whatever and she would quote, unquote manage your career and it was just gross. the office, the environment. Everything about it seemed sue shady it paid well, but I hated it every single day. I went there absolutely hated going to work and I did it like a month- and I was like now I'll- get arrested job I'll, be a server our hostess I can go, you know work at starbucks. I wasn't assuming like oh, I can for sure find another job that will pay me ten times as much
I because I didn't have much experience, was very young, but I knew I could find a job that was at least that good, but was a better environment, and I think far too often we're getting stuck in rats and assuming that this is the right choice, simply because it's already in place. You know the ball. The ball is already in motion, so we're just going to stay here right. This is just what it is, and so I'll just be stuck here at this crappy restaurant job or I'll be stuck here. You know working at the bank robbery zack here being a teacher is my mom wanted me to be a teacher, but absolutely hate it like life is too short. Life is too short to go to work every day we spend most of our lives at work. View work full time he's been most of your life at work most. Waking hours, certainly it is too short of an existence,
put yourself in an environment every single day where the people are awful or your boss is a jerk or you doing that thing, and yes is a bit of chaos to make a career change, but literally this episode is about how to change. The first step is that you gotta stop being so afraid of what will happen if you change in fact change anything today make a change then make another change then changed something else. Next week, like you You are so terrified of change that you are willing to stay in an environment in a relationship in an experience that you know is terrible for you. You might not be ready to make that drastic of a change, but do something different do something different so that you can see that you alive and you are fine and it all worked out. Ok, I'm not sure
had I not experienced fifteen years of pursuing change. You know started with little things like hobbes than became about my health and became about my work than before. Financial changes and every time one little change stacked on top of another, so that I felt more empowered entrusting of myself see. That's why we're terrified of change is because. Maybe we ve been taught to rely and count on everyone else around us, and so, if we make a change that pulls us further away from that core group we were, that we're gonna be stranded, but the truth is: Every time you make small changes You live. You teach yourself that you
can jump without a neck, because you, are the net you Who are the one who will catch you if you fall once you can. To count on yourself? You take ownership, full ownership of this experience and you can make bigger changes and I'm not sure if I didn't have enough fifteen years of pursuing change, I dont think I would have had the courage to leave an eighteen year, relationship that had stopped being healthy. Long before yeah, and I'm not saying that you need to make that kind of change, but the foundation of learning to trust myself gave me the courage to make a massive life change. That was very difficult.
still is difficult and a lot of ways, but I know that I can count on myself and I think if I hadn't pursued change so enthusiastically for a decade and a half, I wouldn't have been able to make that decision, so health hobby work with work. I told you there were two ways so one way to change your work is to just change it to new job, to get a new career, to go to a new industry or to get a new job in the same industry, but a better environment. The other way is to stay, right where you are but to find. In a way to give it meaning there's a host of reasons why you might not be able to make change in your career or your business right now, but you and certainly pursue the same career or business, but attack,
a greater why to attach purpose, to attach passion to it. There is a fantastic quote by I think, set godin who says the opposite of quitting isn't just continuing on as you are the opposite of quitting, is re, committing with passion re committing within. Hence it getting really excited about what it is that you do fine
a why in it that is greater than the one you currently have, that takes a lot more soul searching for me personally, it's easier to just make a big move than to try and work on what's here, but I have found that when I re commit with passion when I work on what's here, those always end up being the more fruitful efforts they take more effort, but the reward is greater the next week, but you can change, which is really good, is to change and grow in your faith, your spirituality, your consciousness. What do you believe about god? The universe? you believe about what is out there. What is bigger than ass this one, I think just ends up being.
fascinating, I'm a I'm a big reader and I love learning about other people's perspectives, and I This one's really really credible, because, where I was little. I was raised in an environment that said, anybody who didn't believe how our church believed was wrong was evil was sent for was dangerous. And that narrative is hurtful and freakin terrifying. for so many reasons, but I think the biggest reason is the divisiveness that it creates. The walls that it puts up, but also the. Hubris that you may have the sense that you, somehow better than others. If you have that kind of ideology, if you think Your way is the only way that your god is the only way that your religion is the right. Religion is actually the most
narrow minded perspective. I think you can have, and it's worth saying that, if me talking about this is making you feel a certain way, you're feeling some anxiousness if you're feeling, potentially anger and you're feeling like that's, not right like this- is the way it's supposed to be like if you're feeling those kind of emotions. As I'm saying this right now, if you're being triggered, by what I'm saying right now by the suggestion that you could. Learn about other religions and ways of thinking, whether if that's triggering you two negative emotions, day- and that is something to look again and unpack, because if your faith is strong, if the relations if you have with your creator, is intact and strong. It will never be affected by the way. Some one else, beliefs period, if, were faith and your relationship with god with your creator, with whatever you believe in, is pure and strong and kenneth
and then it will never be hurt, By the way, some one else chooses to believe by the way someone else votes by the way someone else loves you're being triggered I someone else's religion or some one else's perspective. Thus, as way more about you than it does about them. I am forever is founded by americans in particular, who passionately fight for the beautiful things about this country. There are a lot of things about this country that are fucked, but there are a lot of things about this country that are beautiful. Great and we passionate we proclaim to love that we are a free country that we have freedom of religion, that we have freedom of speech, that we have free
to be whoever we are, but then often the people who are so passionate about our good, country and the freedoms that provides get super freaking riled when any one uses freedom of speech and it that match without ideology. If you love this country and you love the idea. Let's just go for Your speech that we have this. incredible right to freedom of speech. Why would who ever be bothered by some one else saying that they don't like this country because of the history of inequality because of the history of racism because of the history of oppression, because so many things like I just if, if me even say now, or the idea that you're like scrolling through facebook- and you see someone saying that they don't love america.
and that makes you wanna- buy and you're gonna tell them what foreigner, what We, we are getting more and more closed off where, buying into the mythology that we are disconnected from one another and getting fired up about something getting up. Going into a negative emotion or negative vibration, because the way some one else chooses to speak to love to believe to act. Man. My thing is: if it doesn't hurt anybody. That doesn't hurt that person and it doesn't hurt anybody else and go to your thing. Could do your thing, but when it comes to faith and spirituality. There is there so much fear surrounding it,
so much fear. I think predominantly if you were raised and certain religions that said that its where the highway, and the older I get and the more I study and learn the more I pritchett the perspectives that other rules just leaders of other faiths, I'm reading a book right now on seek religion and These incredible teachers for interest perspectives on the way to live your life. You know I was raised in the christian church, but I will, I definitely grew up believe being that the jewish faith was very different and my own. Which is weird, given that the bible and christianity is based on judaism and the old testament and vienna. That's how the bible star it's it's wild and I know not. Everybody is gonna even track with this, but
instinct, is that a lot of you were also raised in really specific upbringings and it can, In your whole perspective, when you are just open to more what else What else is there alarm? The book starts with the most beautiful story, told by a seek leader about, the light inside of you and what it means to light your own corner of the world. It's like the most beautiful perspective, but there's a version of me twenty years ago. That would have been scared, literally scared to, Red and other religions perspective, it does even makes sense. which is why I wanted to include this as one of the things that contains your life is an openness, an openness to growing your faith,
spirituality will only connect to deeper to the creator. They are trying to be connected to I sort of wonder, if the reason that we get so scared of this is because often times, if you have a deeper connection with god, I think it loosens the connection you have with the church, I'm goin off on a I'm goin off on a danger in here for a minute or the closer you grow in your relationship to guide the less that connection to your creator needs a conduit of. search and you may still absolutely go to church as this beautiful practice that you have to feel more connected or to be inside of a community but you understand, as that faith grows richer, deeper, more beautiful,
You don't need anything to access your. Are you don't need a priest? You don't need She don't need those things, because god is new. God is all around you at all times, and so I think that's why it scares people a little bit cause it's like whoa. This is the most powerful relationship you can have And potentially you're having it outside of like the parameters, someone told you you're supposed to yeah, that's my perspective on it, and yours can be very different but deciding to grow in that way deciding to change in that way. I'll change everything, so it's worth pursuing the last that you can do your feeling a little some. Then, and you wanna chain.
Up. Your life is to change the quality of your relationships. This can be friends, family. Your romantic part but these are really crucial foundations in our life. You know who you choose to spend your life with. He choose to make out with the relationship you have with your parents with your siblings with you, children, the quality of the relationships you have with self- and I say, quality because They talk a lot about raising the ceiling. Have you ever heard someone referred to that in business or if you're talking about finances or well thor, whatever they'll be like raise the ceiling like expand, your hurrah. Lessons, make it bigger, make it grand or make it all those things and You could say that with relationships right, you could be like. I want to add more friends to my life, or I want my. You know romantic
partner to be like? We can't keep her hands off each other and we act like china yours or make it all the time so passionate and exciting and all the stuff. But I asked We don't think that that is the healthiest way to pursue change when it comes to our relationships. I think that the healthiest way to pursue change is not to raise. The ceiling is to raise the floor. It's to change its to change the quality of what you are willing to accept inside of your relationships, it's to put up boundaries. It's too say: never again, will I accept less than this, because never again, will I offer less than that So if I am not willing to offer less than this than by god,.
I am not willing to accept less than what this is. It's not expanding. The ceiling is raising the floor. What's beautiful about that that you have a new foundation You have a new standard of of. Quality of how you want to show up of how you want and also might mean when you raise the floor, you might taken the elevator three floors past most of your crew? I will I saw something came through on like real the other day. It was a preacher, he was saying Your flying, like an eagle. and you wonder why your flying alone and its because pigeons can't fly to the same heights that an go can he's like. If you are wondering why you can't fly higher but you're sorry, did by all kinds of friends people who
good time or whatever, but you can't sore like you. Just can't really get yourself to the next play this is because your an eagle trying to fly with pigeons cause pigeons can go so high up and some I am raising the floor and raising your standards means a year and a raise them right over the heads of people you, should be in your life anyway. Change is not for the faint apart, so I most people won't do it. So I most people stay right where they are but putting our boundaries to keep yourself safe and sane and emotionally supported. Even if that means that some people are no longer allowed to be in your life battle change, everything. The interesting we enough there, five different options. given you- and there are more right finances would be a big one. Your contribution to-
world with, It- has all kinds of things I could add to this list. but any of these five. Any of these. we'll make you more receptive to changing in other ways. If you and change in one of these categories. Why start with hobby view can two rollerblade. When you never thought you were the kind of woman who, in her sixties, would be learning to rollerblade You can do that. Suddenly you're like you know why I'm gonna change the relationship that I have with my sister and I know I can do is I didn't think I could do this thing, but I did and now I know him capable all of these things worked together flight teeth on a zipper. They all sort of zip right up. They all support each other one after another to your standing at this. Stop sign your standing at this time. roads in your feeling stuck. There is no right answer. There is no right path, but there is a wrong one.
The wrong one is staying, right where you are because you're too afraid of what would happen if he stepped out into the unknown. Try something Try anything try any one of these paths sue in any way start doing. Research if you can get pumped up about something see if you can get excited like. I started following scares on insurance. Like I m, must gear, and I'm like you, this new hobby, that I've learned to do, but, like I get myself excited by images video you too, I cast like I research and like fill my spirit film, I feed
Well, everything I'm seeing with this new thing, I'm into if I was pursuing health. I do the same thing. If I want to change my relationship same thing, faith same thing: first, you research. You arm yourself with information. The second thing you'd do to change his study. Get books, watch youtube; videos, listen to podcasts, maybe go to a conference. In my case, I wanted to learn to ski. So got lessons steady. It pump yourself up with the research learn study It is your doing, and lastly, you gotta play it here. They say knowledge is power, knowledge is not power. Applied. Knowledge is power. Gotta take these things that you ve, learned and start living your wife and a new way.
occasionally not every once in a while change is in every day decision every freaking day you wake up, and you make the decision to keep the change in motion, because if you stop and take so much momentum to get going again, but if you just keep the ball in motion, even if it's like by tiny little inches a month from now or six months from now look back and you won't even believe how far you ve come, I'm unease one more skiing analogy for you: it's the really scary to ski so a mountain if you're not used to it and wanted it My friend amy told me that her dad pulled her when she was little. Was yes, you're scared? Yes, it feels fast. Yes, your on shore.
we are ski down the mountain and their stop and rest and every time you stop and rest look backwards. Look up the mountain and see how far you already come and seeing how far you ve already come, gives you the courage to speak a little bit more. I hope that something I said today was helpful guys, and I hope, if something I said, Today, stirred you up or major feel a certain way that you'll take a deeper dive into that is why don't you- motion without cause there's. Somethin in us a calling of spirit, I think that we need to look at. Or an area we need to unpack, but if you're feeling a sense of this time for change back pay attention to that voice inside you, that's calling you in a certain direction, I'll be back soon
with more info until then, I just want to remind you about the podcast hotline. I do So where I answer collar questions, you colony, leave a voice mail, just like old school can do it anonymously. You can tell me exactly who you are, but the number is seven three, seven, four hundred for six to six. You can also find it in notes, but call and asked me a question may be what means a deeper dive on something I said today, or maybe there is an area haven't talked about or maybe there's a person that you're like a rachel you have got to talk to fill in the brain celebrity or offer or this person, because I think, would be the best combo. Everything in the show is a reaction to you got is building it for you guys and what you're telling us and white loving so keep it coming. the hotline, and until then I Well, leave you with a reminder in case you ever heard someone say a recently. I love you.
And I'm rooting for you, the rachel Hollis podcast, is produced by me rachel, Alice its edited by andrew weller and jack, noble. Verbal vacation homes come with twenty four seven lives, support so, if you ever need anything, you can reach a real person in about a minute If it's four am and you need assistance, the last thing you want to do is wait to talk to a robot or girl. After all, life support is an amenity. Every vacation home should have further private vacation rentals for you and your people I spent a shopping, beauty, has everything I need for everyone on my list ready to give free.
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Transcript generated on 2023-12-15.