« The Rachel Hollis Podcast

575: CARLA HALL | It's Never Too Late to Take Up Space and Enjoy YOUR Life!

2024-03-12 | 🔗

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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You have that power. Hi, I'm Rachel. And in this show, we talk about everything. Life and work, health and healing, relationships with others and with ourselves. These are stories for the seekers. These are conversations for the curious.
This is the Rachel Hollis podcast. My family, trying to find a nice way to just say that we never had much money, but that's just what it was. I never had much money. So a very regular meal for our family was a pot of beans, like a pot of pinto beans. My mom made it all the time and I hated those beans. I just, from the time I was little, I hated, I thought they were so disgusting. Now I can't tell you anything that's more delicious. It's so comforting to me. I love beans, but as a kid, I was like, never. I will eat nothing rather than eat the beans. - See, I love beans. My mother doesn't like beans for that very reason. She went to a boarding school and they always serve beans. - Really? - And she's like, she's even- - She's like, I'm good.
She's at a senior community and she was eating a soup and here she, I'm looking at her, pick out all the beans. She's like, No, I refuse. Yeah, yeah. I love beans. So in New York when I was feeling homesick, I would make a pot of beans, grains, and cornbread. Cause where are you from originally? Nashville. Nashville. I didn't, I don't think I realized that. How old were you when you moved away from Nashville? - When I went to college. - Okay, cool. - And my mother just, we. Go there for holidays. - Yeah, it's such a good city. - Yeah, yeah. - Did you grow up in the music scene at all? - No. - Okay, you're like, no. I want to know. But I wanted to work at the Grand Ole Opry Museum, like the Hall of Fame. And I didn't get that job and I was very kind of salty about it. And still, I can see the squint in your eye. You're still feeling that way. I'm so pumped to have you back.
I'm so pumped to like-- - Yeah, it's 2020! - I know, it's been four years. - Oh my God. - And honestly, almost as soon as we had our first conversation, Talking about the kitchen and tools and whatever, and in like the last 15 minutes, you said something that I was like, she will talk about spiritual things with me. And then we did for about 15 minutes and we got up and I was like dang it I wanted to talk about that for five hours Yeah, so I've been looking forward to having you back to just have a conversation that maybe is about Food maybe is not. Yeah, I like it. You're here. You don't have to talk about food at all. I've already talked about eggs and raisins. Okay, right. We've checked. Yeah, we did it. Well, you were saying a minute ago, you were like, my 60th year is all about this. So do you set kind of a.
A vision for the year, a word, like how did you come up with what your 60th year would be? Interestingly enough, so yesterday I was talking to Tavis Smiley and I've been talking about my 60th year ever since the middle of last year and he was calling it my 60th campaign. He was like, I want to celebrate you and your 60th campaign and I love that so I'm going to adopt that. Yes. It's about me choosing where and what I want to do because I truly believe that this life is mine. It's mine to do with, it's mine to find my purpose, it's mine to... I can't you really can't mess it up if you bet on yourself Yeah, you really you really cannot and if I could stress and I know that in my body I get chills I know that in my bones that everything happens for a reason
And when, and I, and by the way, let me just say, I pulled this card because I love cards. And I'm gonna read it. - Yes. - It says, To begin the practice of allowing, I must get out of the way and let spirit give me direction. That's how I live my life. - Yeah. - That is absolutely how I live my life. And so at 60, I am doing things that I was afraid to do before. I was a theater kid, and I knew that's what I wanted to do and then I was. Rejected when I went to BU, Boston University, so they were going to defer my admission. So I ended up going to Howard. I mean it turned out to be a really great decision and
I majored in accounting, so I sort of-- - Whoa, big pivot. - Exactly, because I felt that rejection so deeply that I just went to the antithesis of theater. Then, because before that theater saved me, I was a really shy kid, and then my mom, and I saw my first play, Bubbling Brown Sugar, when I was like 10 or 11, and then I was like, this is the thing, and so I ended up doing theater, but then it rejected, it saved me. Rejected me and then at 60 I've decided that I'm choosing it now. What? This is so cool! I'm working on a one-woman show. Shut up. I freaking love that. Okay, there's so many things you just said that I want to go back to. First of all, none of us can imagine you as an accountant. I'm so glad that didn't happen. No shade to accountants, but I'm so glad that the world got to meet you as you are. And the second thing that I. Tripping out on is imagining you as a shy kid. 'Cause you're so, I always think you were just like vivacious and full of life.
And hilarious and interesting and all of these things. So do you really feel like it-- doing theater that helped you like crack through that yes and I was I'm borderline If I take a test, I'm borderline introvert extrovert. That's the thing that people don't know about me. I think very deeply about things, which is the introverted side, but theater gave me the permission to be myself. Like I had the thoughts, but I would never express. And I think there's some times in my life where people like, You're just loud. Why are you being so much? You're just too much. And that makes you sort of like shrink into yourself. But the fact that I-- the thing means I'm supposed to be the thing and we don't give ourselves permission to be the thing that we feel. I'm literally supposed to do this thing. Yes. And we... Limit ourselves and we look at other people to determine what and where and how we're supposed to do a thing. And I'm like, I'm not doing it anymore.
And I learned that on the chew. I learned, I mean, for like the first year of that show, I was like trying to fit into what I thought I was supposed to be because people were telling you what to do and in a new experience, you depend on people to help sort of navigate your presence or how you're supposed to be. And. And then I was just feeling like, like if this jacket was like two sizes too small, I'm like, oh my God, what? - Yes. - I can't. Finally, I called a meeting and I was so frustrated by a series of events, I called a meeting. I was like, if you didn't think that I would want to cook with this person because I'm from that generation, that's your report card and you fail. And if you didn't think that I wasn't doing the job correctly and you didn't share that with me, that's your report card and you fail. And so in the moment I was like, I'm gonna get fired.
I want to say exactly what I feel because I'd rather leave this job with my head held high, leave the job being myself and staying in a job that isn't me. Yeah. After that whole big thing and I was crying and I was everything and definitely I was there, I brought her along and basically she was shrinking. Like, I'm not with her, I'm not with her, I'm not with her. - I don't know who this woman is. - But the executive producer was like, Okay, you're ready to get to work. So I bet on myself because I was supposed to be there. And that's everybody's life and they're so restricted because they think that they have to meet some other person's demands. Or vision of themselves that they never find their own vision and what they're supposed to do. Yeah, I identify with that so much. And it's funny, I got to interview Jada Pinkett Smith last week. And she had a very similar story about as an actress, the way that people.
I wanted her to dress. And you said the thing about the jacket and for me, it's all it's flat shoes. Because I'm on stage a lot and I only saw examples of the other women on stage if they got to be on stage were in. Heels and a dress. So there's literally footage of me early in my career and I'm on heels. 'Cause I don't wear high heels, and I'm like wobbling like a baby giraffe trying to speak to people. - What I can think about is how awkward I am in this outfit, but when you first start, you're so, it's like, I know I want to be there, but I don't know how to be me. In that spot. So I'll emulate what other people do in that spot or I'll listen to the experts want me to do. And it's so crazy. I don't know if men feel like this, but I think for women especially, when for lack
Better description, like our style is messed with. Even if your style is like, I don't have style, I wear jeans and a t-shirt. If your aesthetic isn't there, it's like you're not. I don't know it feels a bit like a cage. Yes 100% and to that point I don't think various shows and produce like executive producers realize how important a stylist is because if that stylist gets you yes you are Comfortable in your skin and you can be yourself. - And you feel like a million bucks. - A million bucks. - You're like, I'm on, yes. - Otherwise you're in that small jacket or that big frumpy thing, you know, and you don't feel like yourself. I look back at some of the, and no shade to my dear friend who was the stylist, but I swear I look like an old woman on the cover of one of the two books.
I'm gonna tell you which one, you'll find it, you know which one it is. - We'll go Google Image. - And it just wasn't right. And the thing was, I never shopped enough to find my style. So I never, until the clothes came in and I'm like, no. And I just, it's a feeling. No, and I'm very quick at, I like it or I don't. - Oh, no, no. Oh, I like this. No, no, no. So interestingly enough, you talked about the heels when you went on stage. Because I'm tall, people think I'm not going to wear heels. My whole thing is put on platforms. I'm gonna be 6'5. I will be. Six five in those big old shoes and looking at hey, I'm sorry, but Yeah, because it's the opposite of what people would expect I have decided to feel my space. - Take up space. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's so good. Is that something that has come about?
Like more recently in your life, is that an evolution for you? It is an evolution. It started, I want to say around 47. So, and it is continued. Even more so I think when I was around 55 and once I hit 50 I was like oh it's on yeah I mean you I mean what was there a reason why you think or we just like it doesn't matter I'll just do whatever I want so you're you're at least 41. 41. Yes. Do you remember walking through the door at 40 feeling like, well, you feel a certain way at 30. You don't care what other people think. You kind of feel like, hey, this life is about me and what I want to do. And at 50, there's even more freedom. It's about how I want to project myself out to the world. out to the world.
And inside, I felt like I was 80. I felt a freedom to say things that I had never felt before at 50. And so every milestone, birthday, or decade, I felt a cracking open and freedom - Yes. - that I looked forward to when I turned 60. So this entire year, by the way, for my 60th campaign. I'm accepting birthday wishes all year. - Yes, I love this. - 365 days. - I love a birthday, like a full year celebration. - Yes. - I'm here for that, yes. - This year, I turned 60 on May 15th, and I'm a dragon, so this is the year of the dragon. - Let's go. - Come on. - Come on. - What? I feel like there's even more freedom and the choices that I make.
More than anything, I'm looking at the people who cross my path and, and why they're there. You know, those are the things that I am like this freedom and, and honestly, who my consciousness pulled in, you know, I'm very aware of that. Going back to acting and doing a one woman show. Is that something that the team of people that you With like everyone was like hell yeah or are people like what they're like oh my god okay good they're they're like we didn't until you You said it. It was like, of course you should do that. Even when I mentioned it to other actors, I'm like. - Yeah, you should do that, interestingly enough. So when you move, I was saying to Johnny, hey Johnny, that I'm doing this talk on quitting with joy. You know, not with stress, not with anxiety, definitely not with guilt, but with joy. And because I quit so many things...
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Will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. Can we before you go off that because that is really powerful, it's like especially I want women to hear it. The idea and the this talked about a lot like historically, that to become who you're meant to be, it's not about adding things. Stripping away. It's a removing of everything. You know, Michelangelo said this, like when he was carving the statue of David, it's like, how did you make that? I removed everything that wasn't David. That, that's like what we're doing. It's the stripping away of things. Would have us believe we need to buy something new, do something new, have all of this stuff. And it's really like, what no longer serves me, who no longer serves me.
What should not be in this sphere in order for me to move to the next phase. Because even for you to be surrounded by a team of people that are like, hell yes, do this thing that is so different than what you've done before, even that tells me that you've aligned yourself so that you have only people who get where the evolution is going. 100%. So cool. And when I choose those people, it's very much a gut thing. You know, and I choose people because even my team, I'm like, Like we're rising up like a box. We're not rising up like a pyramid. Top and everybody's down here. No, we're rising up. So I choose people like, what do you wanna get out of this relationship? What do you wanna get out of this thing? I will help you get there.
You want to get. And then we all are like, like this is the nucleus of our team. And we're all raising up, but everybody has their path of what they want to get out of it. The reason I talk about the show and how it with the theater, I wanted to do that as a child. And because I wasn't stuck in a particular way to express that. I mean, I'm on television and people will say, Oh, you're doing it already. But had I been so stuck in a box and rigid about what that looked like, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have had those experiences. People can see it because I've been on television doing it in a very different way. That's real. It's funny too in life how every once in a while I'll catch myself living out a childhood dream. And I don't even realize I'm doing it because it happened so differently than my childhood self could have imagined. Like you think that it's gonna go like this and it goes
like this. Yes. And then all of a sudden you land in that spot. That's right. Crazy. I found yourself, because I don't even actually know the story. I mean, the first time that I was aware of you was Top Chef. Right? you working at a restaurant before that, or you were like, I'm a home cook, and I know that I can be great on camera. How did that happen? - So I had been to culinary school, I worked in restaurants, I had a catering company. I didn't even know about Top Chef. It was at the end of a season during the holidays, my husband was watching Top Chef there. Another season was getting ready to come out, and you know how they binge all of the shows before another season. So I just sat there on the couch, resting, and I'm seeing this show, I'm like, Wow, this is pretty cool. You know, and it was season four. And I went to work, and somebody said, Oh, you should audition for Top Chef. And I'm like, Oh, that sounds really cool.
You know, but I'm a procrastinator. One day, somebody said, I had a dream you were on Top Chef. And I was like, Wow. And then I got home and I had a call from the production company. Crank call, so I was like, I'm not calling them back. And then, but I had a couple of, I said, okay. I wasn't gonna call you back, but okay, I'll call you. And it was real. And it was, and so then when I went to the, somebody, they said somebody had told us about you, and I went to the casting call, and it was in upstate New York at CIA. I asked this woman for a referral and it turned out that she was the one who gave them my name. I had no idea. Cool. No idea. So all of these things were sort of aligned.
- Yeah. - And I left the interview. I was back at the train station, getting ready to go, just sitting there for like an hour waiting for the train. It was 20 minutes, maybe 15 before I was getting on the train and I looked at my phone, there was a message. And I'm like, Oh, hello? They're like, Carla, can you come back for... Or another round of interviews, the message was sitting there and I just said, Oh, let me check my messages before I get on the train. And it was just like everything, the universe literally picks me up and puts me where I'm supposed to be. - Is it always that way for you? Wow, that's great. - It happened with my husband. I'm there for a week. So anyway, so all that to say, so I was on Top Chef. I said yes, but every, all streets and signs pointed to do this, to say do this. - How old were you when you did that? - 44. I want to say that because there's someone right now who's like, Oh, I can't do it. My chances pass.
I'm 38, I should have figured it out by now. So 44, you do Top Chef and that launches you into something new? Like what happened after that show? - So I did it, they called me back to do it. Again for All Stars three seasons later. And I said, Oh my God, I don't want to do it. I hate it. I hate it. - Like competing. - Stressful, yeah. - It's stressful, I don't like competing. And also, can I tell you, before I did Top Chef, I did a lot of spiritual work. I was working with a spiritual counselor, and I was so centered. By the time I did that show, nothing could knock me off my center. I was there on that talking about spirit guides, I was like, Yeah, I'm not gonna stress me. You know, I mean, you know, right? Little kids. - Yes. I did it, I didn't want to do it. They called me three times to do it again. I said, I really don't want to do it. My PR company said, don't do it. We're just getting you to the point where.
You have your own brand. And then somebody said, Make it part of your business plan. And I hated catering. The only reason I did Top Chef All Stars was because I didn't want to cater anymore. I said, I'm going to go on the show and tell them I don't cater. That was the only reason I did it again. - Yeah. - Yeah. And then that, I was fan favorite, and because of that, I was seen for the chew. If I hadn't have done, people like, You should have won. I'm like, No, because if I had won, I wouldn't have won. Going back. If I didn't go back, I wouldn't have had to chew. I can see my life how it plays out. I don't have any regrets. And that's the thing that I try to tell people. Don't have any regrets. Everything you have done has led to where you are. I believe my lessons and the people who come to me are the messengers for those lessons. I don't hold them in contempt. Them in any way but a messenger like the mailman of my lessons. It's as simple as that. I love that too. The idea of like boldly
stating what you will no longer do. You know, it goes back to us saying like, you have to strip away and you have to let go of things. And I'm positive that someone's listening to this right now, knowing that they are holding on to something or continuing to do something even in their business that they do not want but they're so worried about scarcity and what will happen and how will this go that they keep clinging to this thing that's no longer serving them. That's a hell of a way to do it too, to just publicly be like, I don't care. Anymore. And then by the way, sometimes I'm like that's a problem for future Rachel. Like the current Rachel is gonna make a decision, future Rachel's gonna have to But we can't do this anymore if we want to move to the next place. So when you came out of that one, you go into the... Interview for The Chew. Does that process for you feel overwhelming? Does it feel like, or are you just like, yeah, I'm vibing, this is what? - Yeah, it was, it was.
It was a cattle call. They were seeing a lot of people. And I remember being there with Marcus Samuelsson. And-- I got to do Chop Jr. I was a judge and so I got to sit next to him all day and I was like, I'm in love. He's so great. He is so great. He tells me so my my recollection of that moment was just being very free because I didn't know what the show was about. And I was just talking I was like blah blah blah blah blah in this and they they would throw out conversation starters and ask us to talk about it from a food perspective. And I was like off the wall because that's how my brain It's not gonna be anything anybody's think 'cause I'm the weird person, I'm the weird kid. You know, suitcase, where you going? Oh, I would love to have this. I mean, I can spin anything. Like that's what happens in my head. Marcus said to me, I knew that you were the one who was gonna get that job because of how you thought. Because you were not cookie cutter. You were absolutely like this person.
Who thought outside the box. In the meantime, I remember Marcus I said I don't drink and Marcus said I don't trust a chef who doesn't drink. And that's what I remember. It was so funny. We were having two different experiences, but a year went by and they did not choose me. - Oh, wow. - They had a whole other cast. At the last minute, they decided to recast and they called me in. I was there with Clinton, like the five of us were together for 20 minutes and they decided this was the cast. It's like 20 minutes and three days later, the deals were signed. - Oh my gosh. - I'm telling you, the universe was like, girl, this is what you're doing. - Why do you feel like, why? Like what do you feel like it is about your practice?
Your way of seeing life, 'cause I know I'm not the only one who's listening to this who's wondering, probably Johnny's wondering too, like, okay, well what do I do to get a little bit more of that? Because I feel that alignment sometimes. And, but not all of the time. Not like, there are times, I'm like, well, what are we, and then wait, is this the thing? Are we moving in this direction? And I try to listen to that inner wisdom and to slow down and to understand. But what are you doing? Do you know what you're doing? That makes it so that you're in that. Flow state? The only thing that I know that I'm doing, and I've been doing this metaphysical work from 31, so half my life now. The only thing that I know I'm doing, because it's not necessarily conscious, I do meditation, I have a spiritual group, the only thing that I know that I'm doing is remembering the past. I was taken care of before.
This works, I know it'll work again. That's the only thing I do. I know that my spirit guides are with me, even if I don't know Their names, hey Dr. Baboa, I know yours. But the only thing that I have to do is to remember who I am. And to remember the support that I have constantly. You've always had, yeah. God, that's good. It's so simple, too. It's spring guys, or it's very close to spring, which means it's very close to the time of the year where I start planting my garden for summer. And this year, I was really excited to add a lemon tree. Not from a seed, but like an actual tree. Did you know that fast growing trees is the biggest online nursery in the US with more than 10,000 different kinds of plants and over 2 million
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You're sifting and you're gleaning for, oh, that connected to that. And if I hadn't lost, then I wouldn't have gotten this. So you're looking for those connection points. - Yes, I'm looking for those connection points. And I'm not saying that horrible things didn't happen. Because they did. I remember when I was dating somebody, a good girlfriend, she came to visit me from England and she starts dating this guy and all of a sudden she's like, Oh, I'm going to And I'm like-- - The guy you were dating? - The guy I was dating. And maybe I wasn't dating him. Maybe I just thought I was dating him. I don't know. So I wasn't always present. I don't know. But I remember having a sense of duty to take her to the train station to see her off. He was driving. She was sitting in the front. I'm in the back. I'm at the train station because I'm a Southern woman, Southern belle, and it was my...
I felt my duty to see my friend off. I don't know where that came from. And he kissed her goodbye. I got in the car to go back for him to drop me off. I got out of the car, and I barely got out of the car before he sped off, and it felt like two of my friends had died. I mean, I was crushed. I mean, when I tell you, I mean, I was crushed. My cousin gave me Marianne Williamson's book, A Return to Love. I read that book two times. I lived with it for a year. And she said to me, my cousin--
and said to me, You will see things differently in a year or so. It was almost a year to the date that I was like, I see things differently. And I remember seeing them and being so blessed that I got out of that relationship and I was able to celebrate them. At this point, they were engaged. And I was able to, and I said, I am so happy for myself that I can be happy for you. Right? That relationship never happened. It was, I mean, you know. But that was the beginning of my spiritual life. - Really? Wow, because you were trying to get through something that was difficult. Gosh, that's good. I feel like that's where a lot of people.
Land in that work is you're like, what does any of this mean? Why am I here? How am I supposed to process this? Yeah, I have honestly started Return to Love many times and not finished it. So I feel like you just gave me a I need to sit down and like dig into that work. Yeah. What are some of your other favorite books? Oneness. Oh, wait. Oh, my god. I think it's by Kasia. I lived with that book forever. I remember when I met my husband and I was carrying that book. He was like, Oh my God, you've had that book for two years. Is there a sequel? Is there two-ness? You know? I was like, Okay. Yeah. Oh my gosh, you know what I was reading for Top Chef the first time, Awaken to a New Earth, Eckert Tolle. Reading that and I remember I got there they go through all your stuff and they're like the only books we allow are Bibles I said well this is my Bible
Did they argue with you? No, they're like, Okay. What are you going to do with that? Exactly. What recipes hidden inside this? Calm down. How funny. So that was Awaken to a New Earth, Eckhart Tolle. He's a big one. I'm totally getting this wrong, but I feel like I remember when we spoke the first time that you, are you in like a group? - Like a goddess group? Okay, okay. - Yes, oh my, what? - I was just saying, 'cause I remember, I was like, I want to be part of a group. So I-- I feel like step number one is you start reading, you start learning. Then I think there is this longing to like, how can I connect with other people who are into this sort of conversation so I could just talk to someone about it? Was that your story? - That was my story. It was a sense of consciousness. So as soon as you start thinking. About things and you have experiences, other people come to you and they will say one word. They mentioned the universe or divine order.
Oh my God, right. And so you gravitate toward them and then you're like, well. Where are you worshiping or studying or are you a part of groups? And so it was another chef Jennifer Cox who told me about the Athena sisters that goddesses and I just finished a whole session with them and we're starting another one in April. And interestingly enough, because I'm out here, this group is starting the only time I could have done it, the only time with my. I could have done it was in April. - Cool. - And so I believe the universe makes space. One of the things that we were working on in this, it's like six months, and I knew this group was really special, like everything was clicking and everything. We had to make these declarations. About something that we wanted, and something that was really hard to say out loud that was sort of in our gut.
Declaration that I made in the beginning so seven months ago now was I Said I want to be a scripted And they're like, okay, well, hold on. I'd say, wait, hold up. I want to be a financially successful. - There it is. - Scripted actor. You know, 'cause I was like, you know, so sometimes our declarations aren't fully baked and you will get one thing and you forgot to ask for the other thing. - God, that is so real. Where you're like, oh, I got, you're right, I did get money, but I wanted more than $10. - Right, or I wanted a husband, but I didn't want him to be married to somebody else. I mean, whatever, you know, I wanted a relationship. You forgot the other part. - When I first mentioned that, it was really hard to say it out loud, right?
different than what I was doing. And then every day we read everybody's declarations. And it was in a week's time that I started seeing these things come to me. And then I was like, Oh my God! And I started meeting people. And I started feeling comfortable in saying what I wanted. And so. And then finding somebody to help me write my one woman show, 'cause I started to say, Wait a minute, I see it. So what am I gonna do with this energy? I'm like, I'm working with the energy. I have eight other women working with me about this declaration. And so that's how things start, and you will find your people. And if you believe it, your consciousness, like working and seeing it. Like I see myself, I go to bed looking at myself on stage. Somebody asked me recently, And because they have me in such the food space, I said, Who do you want to...
Who do you want to share a table with? And I said, May I change your question to who do I want to share a stage with? Ooh, yes. - Yes, that's so cool. When do you think that will happen? - I am putting out into the universe in September. - Of this year? - Of this year. - And will that be in New York? - I don't think so. I'm not asking for New York. I wanna go to a place, it's me and two other things. I may be in Oklahoma, okay? - Okay, we'll come. - I really wanna go to, I know where the markets are, where my fans are, I wanna go to those places. - Yeah, that's smart. - I have a lot of information even from the Choo, so I know where those markets are, those second tier, third tier cities, I wanna go there. - Yeah, that's really smart. I love when people...
Well, I started to say this and then I didn't. Well, is it your life story? Is it something totally different? - So it's my life story. It's vignettes about my life. Some of the vignettes are my black excellence and how I look at that. I don't talk sexy. Hair stories like going gray and all the things. Menopause, that one's. The vagina that sat by the door. - Okay, we're putting a pin in that vagina that sat by the door and we're coming back 'cause hormones are my favorite. Conversation ever, but keep going. I want to hear what else. No, and soul food rap. I'm gonna have a friend who is a playwright and writes musicals. He's writing a song for me.
I don't really sing, but I'm not tone deaf, but I'm gonna do a song. It's really about doing every single thing that I wanna do on stage. And I am a big fan of Carol Burnett. I loved Carol Burnett. I love Lucille Ball. I'm very physical. And I'm calling myself, I call myself also the unofficial Quaker Oats girl, but also the black Carol Burnett. So that is why I'm owning that. - Yes, why not? - Yeah. - It reminds me not at all the same thing, but there's a fantastic documentary. About a one man show called love Tom and he is a really successful country music writer who had this Body of music over like a 40 year career and he just decided to do a one man show and he. The sounds like hopefully it doesn't sound too mean.
Can sing, not enough to be a performing artist, but obviously enough to sell his songs. So he tells the story of how all these songs connect by writing back to someone who basically sent him a note and said, I've been doing this for 10 years. I cannot get a break. Nothing ever works. How do I keep going? And the whole one-man show is him saying, this is how you keep going. It's so beautifully done. But what inspired me most about that was it was just nobody was asking him to write a one man show. What he was known for. He was not a performer and he just did this thing because he wanted to do this thing and it's such a great piece of work. I'm like, yeah, man, let's all be like Tom. - Yeah, just do it. I mean, and I know Danny DeVito is an actor.
Danny DeVito did a one-man show where he has all of these things, it's he and his daughter, he has all of these objects that mean so much to him and they're all his on set and he goes and he does these stories about... These things. I know Beverly Johnson has a one-woman show right now. Isaac Mizrahi does a cabaret. Really? What? Wow. I'm gonna blow your mind on this one. So Mark Summers unwrapped the food show? Yes. Yeah. He has a he has a - On man's show. - No. - He's doing it in New York in April. I'm so excited. So this, and it's a good time for people to come out. First of all, they don't cost as much. I'm not doing it for that reason, but I've learned so much about the process, you know, as I'm going through and why it's viable and why the dream is still alive. But let me tell you, going back to the vagina that sat by the door. - Oh yes, let's talk about our vaginas. - So there was a, So there's a book called The Spook Who Sat By The Door and it was about.
A black guy who matriculates through the CIA. It's set in the 60s and nobody really paid attention to him. He kept his head down. He was very smart, did the test, And then he goes through, he works there, he learns about the CIA. Is it the CIA or FBI? I can't remember. And then he gets out and he starts working with the Black Panther Party. But he has gotten all this information. The black man, the spook, the black man who sat by the door. Nobody unassuming. I think that's women at this age. Menopausal. We are underestimated. And so we could take over the world and nobody would even know until we're like bam. So that's why I'm like the vagina that sat by the door. - Yes, yes. It is this thing that I, I'm in, I'm paraminopausal and I'm like, let's go.
The switch and be done because I don't understand why I need to go through all of these hormone fluctuations. I don't I don't get it. Like could we just be at the part where we're wrapping this Up. Where are you in the are you in menopause? Is it done? Yes. I mean, I'm in a puzzle. My mother still gets hot flashes
- Oh, wow. - Sorry, y'all. If that's you, sorry. I don't get hot flashes. I do have some of the other symptoms. And let me just say at 41, it is a blessing that you know what's happening to your body because of these conversations that we have had. I didn't know. I didn't know until somebody gave me a list of things and I think I was around 49, almost 50. And I was going to a place to get laser hair removal. And she was a doctor. And she was like, by the way, where's your cycle? And I'm like, what? And she gives me a list. And so I had, again, the universe, I had a fairy godmother when it came to menopause. And I'm like, yeah, I have this and this and I have night sweats and my brain fog and all the things. And I'm waking up in the middle of the night and I didn't know.
- Used to, so all of those things, so I had somebody sort of shepherd me through and send me to the right doctors and talk to me about bone density and all of these things. And I was so blessed 'cause so many women do not have that. - Yes, yes, it's why every woman that sits with me, I'm like, How are your hormones? 'Cause very similarly, I did not, I have no idea, not even just menopause, perimenopause, I had no idea how my cycle worked at all until I was 37 years old and I was experiencing what I thought was a mental health crisis. Like I couldn't get in control of my moods, was wildly swinging in both directions. I would have rage, I would be crying, crazy brain. I was like, I need help. And I went to see a neurologist to have.
Brain scans done because I genuinely thought like here I go you know I guess once you hit 37 it's like all downhill and in the intake forms I was filling out all of this stuff and God bless this doctor who just looked at the forms and said oh I think you have estrogen dominance like let's run a blood panel I think you have this but in the interim just go Google what the symptoms are. And it was there were ten symptoms and I had nine of them and the only one I didn't have was decreased sex drive Because I wasn't in a relationship. I was like, I'm not having sex anyway, so I wouldn't have known. But everything else on that list I had, and it was like a breath of fresh air. I was just like, Thank, there's an answer. So every person I sit with, I'm like, Tell me everything. And it's really funny, every once in a while I'll have a woman that will sit down and I'm like, Tell me what's going on with your hormones, and they're like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
They don't want to talk about it. They're freaked out. And I'm like, What? Yeah, exactly. No, we have to talk about this. We have to talk about it. You're cooler, you're better. I believe that every day... It's like I grew up watching Oprah. She was my babysitter. Yeah. Was a latchkey kid, came home, sat in front of the TV. And I remember as a little girl, every time Oprah turned a new decade, she was like, This is the decade. 40s are it. Then she was like, 50s are it. 60s are it. And so I just assume, according to Oprah... It's gonna keep getting better the older we get. - Let me tell you why I ran a marathon. I ran a marathon because of Oprah. Oprah ran a marathon at 40.
Well, that's what I'm doing at 40. I'm gonna run a marathon. - I literally saw that the other day. I was Googling times 'cause I'm running the LA marathon next month. And I was just trying to see like, I had run it, I don't know, like eight years ago or something. And I was, I barely lived. Like I was so slow. So I thought, okay, let's actually have like a solid pace. And when I Googled what I should run it in, I don't know why. The top result was how fast did Oprah run a marathon? She didn't just run a marathon. She actually ran it really fast. I'm like, you know what, Oprah? You don't need that. Stop being so excellent. - I ran it in four hours and two minutes.
Okay, I ran my first marathon in five hours and 32 minutes. So you're winning. - I am, I'm competitive and I'm kind of joyous inside. - I'm telling you, I ran, but it was like, there were turtles that were moving faster than me on that. 'Cause I was like, just don't stop running. But my version of running was, it was questionable. So this time I'm like, you could do better. - But I took six months to prepare. - Yeah, I did too. Truth was it was in LA and it was this freak heatwave so it was the beginning of February and it was 92 degrees. And I mean people were dropping like people were passing it it was crazy. The fact that you finished. That's all I was like just live. That's the only thing you have to do, just live through this. But this time, we're gonna do four hours. That's great. - And then I was like, dang, where can I have taken off those two minutes? You know, the sub threes. So my mother was there. I branded in France, in Paris.
Reason is because I said if I go I buy the room because I you know I'm thrifty if I buy the room I buy the ticket I will train so I had to set my mental game up I had imported three friends who were gonna be watching me right another friend was doing it and And I planned it out. I told my mom, Hey, I need you to be here on the right-hand side of the street. I get there, she's not there. I get to the next spot, she's not there. And I'm like, Oh my God. What the heck? - My mom's lost. - Right, right. Mile 22. You know, Ally had 4.2 to go. Mile 22, I see her on. Left side of the street, Kala, kala! I was like, and she has a picture of me like this. Right? And so I couldn't get over there. I keep running, all of a sudden I hear, My mother's in the marathon. I turn around, my mother is running.
In the marathon with my bottle that I told her to give me at mile 10. Bless her heart. And I stopped and it was just like I hugged her and I was like and I could have looked at that was what took my time but that was what gave me time. Yeah. When I tell you the universe gives me what I need. My mother was The marathon it took me you said my mother was in the marathon with our black coat long black coat bless she's like I'll catch up oh my gosh is she a big inspiration to you she is such a big I mean She is so kind.
My mother is so kind. When we went to college, she said, Get to know your postman, get to know all of the people that you do business with, get to know those people. She was a nurse, always wanted to be a nurse. So independent, taught us, my sister and I, our independence. My parents divorced for the second time when I was seven. So I just, I mean, strong women are just around us and, but she is kind and my biggest fan. Yeah. - That's so cool. What does the rest of this year look like for you? 60th campaign. - My 60th campaign. And by the way, there are a lot of amazing women who turned 60 this year. - Oh, really? - Yeah, Michelle Obama, Kamala Harris, Vanessa Williams. - I feel like Sherry Yard, who was the pastry chef. - I feel like you should have a joint,
With all of you. I know, Wanda Sykes, Sejita Entertainer. This is gonna be a hell of a party. Up low, Keanu Reeves, Steven, Stephen Colbert. Yeah, there's so many people turning 60. - 60 is the new 20 is what you're saying. Yeah, it's the place to be. What's coming next? - So for me, I have Chasing Flavor that's coming out. I have a new children's book that's coming out, which honestly, I'm so excited about it. Is this your first one? It's my second children's book, which I am super excited about. It's about spending time in the summers with my grandmother, with my sister and I. So it's Carla and the... The first one was Carla and the Christmas cornbread. The next one is Carla and the tin can cake party when my grandmother taught me to cook So they all had this theme. And the one woman show, what else? I mean, if there are some surprises, Universe, I accept.
- I'm open, open to what it is. - I'm working on like a line of cookware and things through QVC and that was a project that had been. For four years in the making, but I love thinking about the way that things work. So when I'm talking to engineers. It's like sort of that accounting brain and putting things in order. Yeah, you know, I'm just It's now figuring out what my gifts are. You know, and I think it was two months ago and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm 60. I feel like so young. But then I was like, wait, I know stuff. Like I know stuff. - Of course you do. - But the thing is, it's not that I know. Any more things. I am confident in what I know. So I'm not second-guessing what I know. I know stuff, you know, they're like, Oh, you're so good.
I'm good at this. I'm good at what I do. I spent a lot of years doing it. I've got my 10,000 hours. I've done it. Yeah. That's a big deal though, to get to the place where you can own or like take ownership of what you know. So funny. I was just thinking this morning it popped into my and maybe for this exact moment. But I remembered years ago speaking to a woman who was, I had a website, was a blogger, she had a website, she was a blogger, she And she would do events as a blogger and she had product. She was just killing it. Everybody else who was a blogger was like, dang, she's killing it. In her town on business and invited her dinner. We're having dinner, you know, she kept
Telling me stories about what she, but she would say, but I mean, but I don't know what I'm doing. I mean, I don't, none of us know what we're doing. I'm just over, I'm just, I'm just a wife. I'm just a mom. I don't know what I'm doing. It's just my hobby. She kept saying it over and over. And I finally, after whatever amount of, I was like, I'm sorry, I know I just met you. Stop saying you don't know what you're doing. You clearly do. 'Cause everything you just told me is successful. You have a team of people that you employ. You're like building this great business. Stop poo-pooing or like not acknowledging the knowledge that you've worked so hard for, the places that you've gotten to in your career. 'Cause it's almost like, I don't know, I feel like if you keep verbally bashing the things that you have been given or the things that you have created, Diminishes like that's gonna go away because you're I don't know you're you're sort of
the well of creativity. 100% but also the universe is giving you these things and telling you these things and what you're doing is saying no not me not me not me and by not believing in it nothing supports that dream and all and it's not humble I mean humble the whole humble brag has no place right it has no place For women. You know, just own your power, own it, say that what you're good at doing, because there are enough people who are gonna tell you you can't do it. So you shouldn't be one of the ones to say that you can't do it. Did you ever worry about coming across as overly confident or, 'cause I know you said like, people told you, like you're too loud, you're too much, or whatever. What did that look like for you?
- Yeah, I mean, I did. No, I mean, yes, I did. But I think if I were to say anything, trust the process. Because the older you get, everything sort of finds its own, water finds its own level. That whole river, everything flows like the river. You have some branches in the river that pushes you over here. You have a rock pushes you over here. Everything flows like the river and everything will come together. So what that looked like to me Second-guessing myself, not speaking up, thinking somebody else knew more than I did. That's my thing. I still, I get so frustrated with myself. I'm like, How are we still learning this lesson? Same lesson, different.
An expert like why do I always lean like oh you have a penis okay you must know more than I do about this thing that I know how to do so yes it'll the universe is gonna keep teaching you though until you learn that it's gonna keep teaching you I just with two things I remember right after Top Chef and I was cooking with Tom Kalieka was there Michelle Bernstein In Gavin Kaysen and myself. And I think it was just the four of us and we were doing a dinner at some casino. I'm doing my thing and I look up and I see all these people who had judged on Top Chef at one point when I was there. And I had a panic attack. - A real one. And I was like, and I was just like, I don't know anything. I don't know why am I here? And it was just this big thing.
And I must've looked like a deer in headlights 'cause I was like, and she's like, Carla, are you okay? Are you okay? Because whatever the fear that I was feeling was registering on my face. That was the bit I mean and I remember like it was yesterday that that fears like oh my gosh Why am I here? What why did I think I could come and why did I think I could cook with these people? And I've been to I'd be cooking. I've been doing all these things Like, Oh my God, what the heck? - So crazy. - Yeah. - But it keeps showing up and I think like, it's helpful for everybody to hear those stories of those moments where you're like, You forget who you are. You forget who you are. - I had just listened to a podcast and you may know the person. He was talking about shadow work. Justin, he does a lot of spiritual work. Justin, I don't know his last name.
Google Justin and Shadow Work. And I had never heard about Shadow Work, and it was about all of these, the conditioning and the things that keep showing up. Because unless you look at it to see what the conditioning is, you're gonna keep doing it. And 'cause he talks about how you need three things to be sort of, not successful, but as you move through your spiritual life. You know, a spiritual practice, to take action and to do the Shadow Work. But if you do two of those things, like if you take action and you're doing the spiritual work, you're not looking at all the other things like all of that conditioning that keeps you spinning in this thing.
Like really looking at why these things keep coming up. It was fascinating. And I listened to it like five times. - I have a great book on shadow work. If you need one, I'll give it to you. - I need it! - Okay, perfect. - I didn't even know about shadow work! - Yes, I'll give you one on the way out the door. Well, because I actually, I sat with, probably like five or six months ago, sat with spiritual teacher and she, it's very funny. So you pulled the cards from this bowl. She started looking at the cards and she was like, these are, there's no, there's no difference. Here. And I was like, What? And she said, All of your cards are only positive things. Not only positive people. And if you only see one side of yourself, then you believe that's the only good side of yourself. And you also have hard stuff. You have bitterness, envy, you have things that you don't like, but those are also you and the more you try
And deny those parts of yourself the stronger they become. So she leaves that day and of course I'm immediately googling like what is the best book on shadow work? And I'm gonna hand it to you as you walk out today. There is I'm sure I've underlined it in the book. There was some piece at the beginning of that book, which I'm of course forgetting now that I was Like, holy shit. Like this is, it was like just a completely different way to look at the wholeness of ourselves and the part that we want. Make as small as possible and how shadow work it's-- - And befriending those parts. - Well, and the cool thing about this one is that every chapter it's a different teacher or a psychologist or different people giving their perspective on it, as opposed to just one person talking about shadow for 500 pages.
So can I just tell you? So in this moment I talk about how the universe takes care of me. So the thing Shadow Work came up and I said, Oh, I'm not going to mention that. And it came up again. I said, Okay, I'm going to mention it. You're telling me that you have this book that you're going to give me. Yes. This is how my life works. Yeah. Yeah. And you're... And also, again, I want to say this to people who maybe don't look at the world this way, you're looking for those synchronicities, you're looking for the connections and you will find them. I had this conversation, my oldest son was having a hard week at school and I was encouraging him to look for different kinds of people. Positive people, more joyful people. He was, we were talking about for a long time and I give him every direction I've got. I'm like, here's a spiritual perspective, here's the mama perspective, here's this. You know, let me this is the oldest like trick in the personal development arsenal, but look around the room with me and I'm going to
count to 10 in my mind in 10 seconds I want you to find as many things in this room that are the color blue you dare you down he's like absolutely so I I start counting to 10 and he's looking all around my bedroom. This is this and he comes back. I said, How many blue things did you see? And he's like, Eight. He's like, That, that, that, and that. I said, Okay, how many red things did you see? What? I didn't see any red. You didn't tell me to look for red. I'm like, I know. We look and we find. So if you want to find a different reality. Which we get to shape this, right? If you wanna see something different, you have to. Focus your mind on what you want to see. Because this was so eye opening for me to first learn, was this idea that I could focus my mind, that I could change my perspective.
I grew up in an environment where that was not at all what, you know, sort of like, life sucks and then you die like that, you know, and there was nobody who taught me those things. So that shift in perspective that you just catch those moments like, Oh, wait, notice how I said that and then she had the exact thing that might help with the next step. But you have to notice if you want more of that. That's exactly right. Yeah. It's like when you... - I saw a new card, now all of a sudden you see it, your consciousness is there. But the other thing for me, because I had these really hard, I think the universe, we're gonna give you some really challenging experiences. And then you look back and you're like, you saw the signs in retrospect. So right now I'm like, I just need the universe. Hello, Carla, hello. Just whisper to me. I don't need to be pushed off.
The side of the cliff. I really don't. I, so I, I am like, - Yes, yes. - I need a little tap tap. You know, I listen for the tap tap. - Yes. - I don't need the shove. I don't need the push. I don't need the barrel over the. The waterfall. The waterfall. Yeah. I don't need that. And I think that, and so when I look for people to surround me and to no diss of anybody, but if they have dense energy, I- - Okay, wait, explain what that means to you for someone who's not familiar. - So sometimes people, they see the negative in every situation and they're just, there is no lightness there, it's just dark and it's the dense energy that they haven't worked. Through and so no matter what you say to them they're gonna see this negative thing and I
I'm not an overly, like, oh, everything is great, positive person, I accept like challenges. - Yes. - You know, but that is very different than for you not to see how that negative thing If you move through it. - Yes. - Yeah, and I know in certain times of my life, maybe there's like, was dense energy, but I chose to move through it. - Yes. - I chose to see it and move through it. And another thing, and I tell people like, I believe in reincarnation. - Me too. - I believe that I am born into this black body, black female body at this time to get the lessons that I am meant to get in this lifetime. So I look for those too. I look for those and I befriend those lessons. And so I speak up as a black woman, because maybe the challenge is to not speak up.
Up or to not be sane or to but I speak up I'm like okay what would this black bodied woman do in this moment? Yes right the the well the idea too of of the dense energy is such a good way I mean Described as dense energy. I remember years ago working with a energy healer and I was that in my brain it was colors. Like I would close my eyes and imagine certain people that I knew and the people that there was a lot of, that ended up being a lot of issue with always showed up as red. Like when I, I don't know if that was aura or whatever I was tapping into, but they were red and just me starting to look at inner in that way was a quick like, oh, that's a, I don't know why, but I'm reading that person as red, which sounds a little wild. - Red road, red road.
- Exactly, but I did this again, same conversation with my son the other night, where he was thinking of one of his best friends that lives in Austin, which is where we used to live, who-- She's just a dream. Like, I want her to be my best friend. I have a girl crush on her, which is weird, 'cause I'm a grownup. She's just wonderful. And I said, Okay, this is actually a really great way for you to identify the right kind of friend for you. And he is, my son is very. Whatever brain is like the mathematical engineer, like the spiritual stuff, he'll be like, okay mom,
With me, but it's not his jam. But I said, okay, here's what I want you to do. Close your eyes, and I want you to think of this girlfriend that he, we all love. Think of her, and just what are the first thoughts that come to mind when I ask you these questions? So I say, what color shows up? Just because for me, that's a really helpful thing. What color shows up? The first word that pops into your head when you think about her. And then think about her energy. How does it feel to be around her? I want you to think of a descriptor for that. So he opens his eyes, and I said, okay, what did you see? And he said, the color was green, like a light green. I said, well, that's great, that's heart chakra.
She's all loves that makes sense to me and I said and what word I think he said like loving or whatever it was It was just like a beautiful word to describe her and then I said now What was her energy and he's like, I don't know really how to explain it It just felt like warm and soft and kind and I was like, yes That is exactly what I would get when I'm thinking about this person. So okay now let's flip it once you think About the friend at school that you're having issue with. And there's nothing wrong with this, you see a teenage girl, like no shade on her, but I just want you to feel the energy difference. So I said, okay, same thing, what's the word?
What's the color? What does the energy feel like? And he said, you know, he's like, It's a navy blue. I'm like, Yep, I can see that. And then what's the word? He's like, Lost, which feels lost. And I said, And what's the energy feel like? And he's like, It feels like, I don't know how to describe it, mom. It's just like, it's not there. There's not a lot of substance to it. And I was like, Dude, that is the exact, that is exactly what I pick up when I interact with this person. Again, being a teenager is hard. Being a teenage girl is impossible. Like nothing against this girl, but based on what you just said and the experiences you're having with this person, does that track for you that that would be her energy and you're having these experiences? And he was like, Yeah. And I'm like, Great. So if you want more- Friends, like Vivian, who we love. If you want more friends like Vivian, then you have to just take a quick moment and it's that fast that you can tap into someone's energy to see like, does this feel like that?
energy that I want to attract into my life. Because I'm hoping that by teaching them these things young. Maybe saves them like a million years of time and pain when they're my age. Yeah. But, but they're still going to have their... Bumps yeah they're gonna flow like the river and hit a rock yes i mean you know yeah and i'll love Yeah, did you always believe in reincarnation or is that something that you felt after you started your spiritual journey? It was after I started my spiritual journey, but my father talked about Like being cremated and things like that. My mother did not and I feel like my father did talk about reincarnation Okay, which was I mean I'm saying it's just surprising because, no, not really. But it was really, I think, around 30, 31. Yeah, it's not something I definitely did not grow up with it. I was raised in a very strict religious home, so that would have been like, you're worshipping
Like, how could you believe in that? But as I started my spiritual journey and kept reading books and learning more and more about it, it just resonates with me so deeply. I think so many of us have stories where we're like, Why do I know this information? Or you know, you go to a friend who went to another, she was in England for the first time ever in her life. The driver that she was with got lost and she was getting really nervous because she was late for an event, she's an author, and she was late for an event that she needed And he was like, just trying to like figure it out on his phone. And they didn't have Wi-Fi. It was like a whole thing. And she was like, you just, you're going to head down here and you do two lefts. And then you, when you get to the church, you're going to make a right and bah, bah, bah, bah. And it like came out of her mouth and she was like, what? And he did it. And she got there and she couldn't for months. She was like, why did I know that? And so there were all of these little things people would tell me.
And it just really resonated with me. And then I think like everybody read Many Lives, Many Masters 'cause you're like, this is what I gotta do now. But the idea that our soul chooses this life, that the one that really was powerful for me was that our soul chooses our parents. - What? That book? - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. - I mean, and when you think about it, you are born to your parents to give a lesson. And so it's not the other way around. Treat their kids like they're the masters. When it's the child who is coming in to teach them what they need to know. - Yes, yes, that is so real. - Yes. - That is so real. And even the idea of you going through your life and going like, what, what?
Why this body? Why this person? - Yes, yes. - Why this moment? - Yes. - Yeah, yeah. - And the thing is, when I think that way, nothing is insurmountable. And when there are hard things, and I know I can do hard things. And so when something feels like, even if people will say, yeah, you know, and this happens to black people, I'm like, yes, but I'm gonna tackle that. I'm going to stand in my power in this moment and deal with this. Yeah. Right? Because if I give my power away to it, it's not helping me. It's not helping me overcome the challenge that this body. And this lifetime brings me. What does it mean to you in any situation to be giving?
Power away. What does that look like? So when you walk into a situation and you someone someone says something to you that you don't believe like for instance and I'm doing a cooking demo and I know how I have to move in this cooking demo to make it flow for me, but I allow someone else to change it to tell me that I have to do it another way and I agree. Knowing that It does not work for me. Like your shoes. You gave your power away to the vision of the high heels, knowing that you were going to look like a giraffe. And you've been walking the hills, right? You gave your power away to a vision or an illusion that you thought you had to succumb to.
Do it all the time. Women do it all the time. When you think someone else knows best and when you stand in and maybe it's not as daunting to say power but when you stand in your truth that works for you and you understand what that is because I realize that I have to speak up. I believe that when Something is coming up for me to tell somebody by not telling them I denied them That exchange that they were supposed to get from me. Yes. Yes There's a great quote which I think is like Dave Ramsey that says to be unclear To be unkind. Yes. Yes. It's like when you were saying that you talked to the team on the show and you were like, if you didn't tell me
how I could have done better, that's on you. 'Cause like, I'm over here trying to do a good job and if you don't give me that feedback in relationships, in jobs, in life, that's really good. Like to give someone that, like this was the moment that maybe you needed to hear this from someone today. - And a lot of times when... What we do is we step in and we think for them and we're like, I don't want to say this because they're going to feel blah, blah, blah. You don't know that. Yeah, you're projecting. - Yes, and it is up to you to say the thing with love. I mean, if you're not coming from a place of love and a place of good intention, then that's a whole other thing. But when you are coming to a place of love, they will receive it. - Yeah, yeah. - You know, this is, I love doing this.
And she probably ready to kick me out your house. - No, no, you stay forever. - But I love when I'm at a restaurant and I'm gonna invite you all to do this and you have a waiter who's just all out of sorts, not good. They're just like, Eh, you know, eh. And you just decide to send him warming thoughts, him or her, you're like, It's okay. Just see yourself, it's okay. Here for you. You know, you got this. Whatever is, whatever has you stressed out or you know, in anxiety, it's okay. And I'm just gonna send, and just, and like the color thing, I tend to send pink and purple, you know, the violet flame, and just watch them change. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I get that.
It's so powerful. A lot of times in doing that, let's say you are at a lunch and you allow that person's attitude to affect you, then you take it and then you take it to the next level. Somebody else. And then it's literally right. And then now you're in the car. Now you're honking your horn. And now it's all the thing when you could have stopped it. And you could have changed somebody's somebody else's trajectory in that moment of who that person's going to see the waiter. And yeah, you have that power. Yes. Oh my gosh. Okay, I do want to talk to you about one very specific. Because it's my latest obsession, I feel like you'll go there with me. And probably already are there in your own way. My newest thing that I can't stop thinking about, and I feel like the universe is like giving me books and little nuggets all the time, is this idea.
So inner wisdom, inner knowing that still small voice inside of you, that that is actually you in the future. Oh. Okay, so this is not like, it's not super common. I haven't heard a ton about this. But I just read have you read integrity by Martha Beck? No go on. Okay you're gonna she doesn't it's not the whole book but she has this one moment where she touches on it and when I read this I have chills just thinking about it. I literally started bawling because I was like, That is it, exactly. So I saw this little written thing on social media or something six months ago that said, For those of you who do inner child work, where you go back and you visualize yourself loving on or caring for your child.
Yourself at a younger age, okay? And then you have this sort of healing moment because you've gone back and you've done work with yourself at a younger age. Well, you know, the whole thing about our brain doesn't know the difference between what we imagine and what actually happened, so it's actually very healing to do this work. So if you go back and you do that with your younger self, then could you presuppose that every time you have a voice Of wisdom that shows up inside of you, that that is actually an older, wiser version of you that is giving you that advice. And it just resonates so deeply with me. Like I freaking get that. And there is this thing that Martha writes in the book. Where she's talking about being a young mother and just deeply struggling and she...
Alert if anyone wants to read this book but she's deeply struggling and she's rocking her newborn son and she's crying and she doesn't know what she's gonna do and she's spinning out telling herself all of these things that are gonna happen and she just hears this voice say are you sure? are you sure? that's the only thing she could hear was like are you sure? I'm gonna cry again and then she's brilliant storyteller later in the book she He is driving or something and she remembers that moment. Oh, thinking of younger me, her son's now an adult and he's thriving and she's Thinking of, oh, poor baby sitting in that room crying over all the things that you were-- and she could see herself thinking of all the things that were going to happen to her son. And she just thought, oh, sweetie, are you sure? And she realizes in the moment what the voice was.
I'm literally reading them like, Ah! So my, people ask like, Who's your hero? Me, at nine years old. I am trying so much more in my meditations to tap into her wisdom. What does she know? What does she believe? What does she love? What is she thinking about? 'Cause I feel like she'd be like, girl. Your baby's gonna be fine. He's gonna find his people. He's gonna find his friends. He's gonna be great. Or like, don't worry about this is not something, you know, I am obsessed with this idea. I'm hearing it for the first time. - Okay, good. Maybe the universe wanted you to have this one today. - I accept. - Okay, great. - Thank you. - Yes. I'll give you that book too. - Oh, my God. - Okay, perfect. Numbers yeah so as you read these you could text 100% I mean great this is
And so don't you love it? I love when I connect with people and you allow a conversation to happen the way that it is meant to happen. And again, the universe takes care of me. I know I've said it so many times because I mean, it's happened even here and everything that I need, I think. Everything that I need that I'm building in this year and the things that I'm working on. So by the way, Pluto is going into Aquarius. That sounds exciting. Okay. Okay. Okay. Pluto was in Cap- Pluto is the planet that does this death and rebirth.
So whatever you have to work on, you're gonna work on it. It was in a very fixed energy in Capricorn, banking, all of those things. It came in 2008. We had the banking crisis. Okay? It stays for a very long time. Like the last time Pluto was in Aquarius was 248 years ago. Oh, wow. Technology, it is live and let live, it is group energy. It's gonna be a really beautiful time. It's gonna be here for 40 years. Beautiful time for people to find their their tribe and to work with them and and when you think about When I think about astrology, like astrology was technology way back hundreds and hundreds of years ago. No astrology in order to get a medical degree. It was the technology at that time.
We're talking about AI and all of this technology that's happening. Oh, it's going to happen. And I know I sound weird. I feel like I can be weird right here. Yeah, you can be exactly who you are. I can be whoever I am, you know, and say these things and I'm really excited. And even if you don't believe in astrology, it happens with you whether you... Believe in it or not because it will I mean it's a pull but this is a really good time for Spirituality to and spiritual growth so I'm saying that because of the books that you're giving me and going into this time to work with Them not against them so that I can you know again own my power. Yeah Oh, this is so rad and I could Out with you forever. Yeah, but we should actually tell everybody if they're not. Already hanging out with you online. Where can they, we're gonna do all the things. Where can they see you? How are we getting tickets to the show? Give us all the details.
Carla Hall.com, Carla P. Hall on Instagram, Chef Carla Hall on what X, Carla Hall on TikTok. TikTok And then, so I have my new show, Chasing Flavor, which is on max. And then just, I'll keep you posted through these. About my one woman show. - Cool, can't wait to see. Oh, thank you for coming and hanging out. This was awesome. - Thank you. - The Rachel Hollis podcast is produced by me, Rachel Hollis. It's edited by Andrew Weller and Jack Noble. Your business was humming, but now you're falling behind. Are buried in manual work, tasks are taking forever to complete, and getting one source of truth is like pulling teeth. If this is you, then you should be.
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Transcript generated on 2024-03-14.