« RISE podcast

73: How To Gain Control of Your Money with Rachel Cruze

2018-12-04

Everyone can agree that finances is a touchy subject and I think especially for women it's a topic we don't discuss often. That's why I was so excited to interview Rachel Cruze, #1 New York Times Best-Selling author and speaker on gaining control of your money! If one of your dreams is to be debt-free and your struggling on where to start then this is an episode you should totally listen to. In the episode, we mention the Start Today Journals -- there is only one of three covers left, so if you're interested in grabbing the last cover in round two before the next covers arrive in March, hit this link --> bit.ly/2FMQ4rU Check out Rachel Cruze: https://www.rachelcruze.com Follow Rachel Cruze on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachelcruze/

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
You guys it's Rachel, Hollis, and I am here is my friend, Trent Shelton was originally I live in the dream. Man. We? U tell listeners, why we're hanging out together right now, hang it now, because we are launching a new package straight up and I'm supermax seller. Add if you guys are not already familiar tramp. He has millions and millions of fans all around the globe who come to him for a very unique style of coaching yeah. Wearying rates of the point is realistic and put a stray from the hardened brick. Do those NATO it's broken through which only you back. In Mostar, we haven't people's lives and young for love that so, if you guys want here more you're, already listening on podcast platform, go subscribe to straight up with Trent Shelton. It's right. Let's go get it.
One of the cruellest things that I get to see as part of my job is the manifestation of the product or products that I dreamed up and created and figured out how to do like. So many of you as a business owner, you get these ideas in your head and it is incredible to get to watch them come to fruition, and I started dreaming about one of our most popular products thus started a journal. I served dreaming about this a couple of years ago. I had been doing this daily practice based on several different people. I had heard about several different things and I'm gonna put them together into one daily practice, which was every single day. I wrote down the dreams I had for my life, but I wrote them as if they had already happened. There's something really powerful about claiming a goal as if it's already done, and I rode down every day- and it was how I set my intentions and then I would post about it on social and so many people. What are you doing? What is that? Where do I get that journal nose like guys? It's not a journal, it's just a notebook, I'm just riding down the same thing every single day, but what I think is interesting, as business owners or creators is often times. In fact, most of the time your audience will tell you what it wants from you and I kept pushing it off because I was like you guys. This is not a big deal, but it was an people kept asking for, and I finally just thought what, if I turn this into a product and I started to dream and plan- and I literally taped pictures to the wall of my office, of what I dreamed that my journal would look like and the intention behind it, and I wanted the covers to be really pretty, and I wanted it to be something that you could do once a quarter and then, as you completed, each journal. You'd have a stack of this evidence of how intentional you were about your life and we figured it out, and I mean you know some times we messed up on the shipping and sometimes we rest up on the interior. But we failed our way to where we are today, which is the start today journal in the hands of hundreds of thousands of people. So incredible such a blessing for me to be able to go on Instagram and see hashtag start today journal and see people all over the world using this practice as a way to
in the direction of their dreams. So if you are not familiar- and you want to check it out, you can go over to the Hollis code. Dot com forward, slash shop and find out all about my favorite practice turned my favorite product and, if you're not in the market, to buy. Remember that episode. Seventy two of this podcast gives you the exact step by step so that you can do it in whatever note book you have laying around for free you not to buy a product, but you should be doing this daily practice. It will literally literally change your life. Welcome to the rise podcast. I'm Rachel Hollis and I built a multi million dollar media company with a high school diploma, and a Google search bar each week will be sharing tangible wrecked advice or inspiring interviews with the same intention these
the tools to change your life, right sister. I am so excited to have you on past today. I have had the distinct pleasure to get her dinner with you before and I feel like this is a chance for the audience to get some of that also wisdom, girl time, but I gotta have so if they have never heard of you, which seems impossible. But if that were true, can you please tell our listeners who you are, what you do and how you got there? Yes, absolutely were things Rachel for having me, I know it so funds be able to work together and do this I appreciate its so I am Rachel crews and I'm a financial experts in the personal financed space and I travel and rights and speak and have a Youtube show and to content all around personal financed, specifically helping people. Gain control of their money, everything from budgeting and getting at a debt to even talking about,
neurons and investing and taxes I get very, very technical, but all the high level of really helping people gain control of part of their life. That usually is a very stressful point, four people which is their money, and I love really said that foundation and a table for people and giving them a plan ends. I grew up as Dave Ramses daughter, so that was kind of my aunt Euro into the question of where and how do you know this in from outside? But yes, it's funny, though, because people just assume growing up his day, Ramses kid that we had like mutual funds parties in the summer lay all the stuff and really growing up mom and dad were were very normal when it comes to parenting in that sense, but they did teacher how many work since I really grew up with this philosophy. Kind of this financial bubble of learning. That debt is like a Ford,
Our word like you just never borrow money. You always save up and pay for things as kid. For instance, we are never given an allowance. We were always on commission, so you work work. You don't give aid in a really like this is like the environment. I grew up, and so, when I graduated from high school and went off to college is when I realized that not everyone had these tools and our toolbar. If you will, it comes to money, is all my peers were getting into student loan debts and they, like No, I didn't even know had a budget, they are getting into credit card dead and all of this at eighteen nineteen years old, and that's really when I realized the need for this mess edge, and so when I graduated from college, is decided okay. This is what I want to do with my life, and so my men, it started out relate for high school students in college students and now its gravity
did. I guess, followed me if you well through my seasons of life, now that I'm married, I have two kids and I'm a working mom, and so a lot of my continents around that as well. So it's it's been really a crazy journey over those identified about nine years now, full time and it's just span a dream, a minute so fun I love it so, but if someone's listening to this- and I feel like I would have been this person like yeah- that's a good idea and all by it, I don't have any money or but I'm deeply in debt or like if you're vaguely I'm sure about how to even get started. What is the advice that you give to people the number one thing you must do and it's the number one mistake people make is at their just not intentional, with their money, because a lot of people answer in that kind of you know tat nor or that that perspective,
I have no idea where their money goes. They don't know how much debt they have sent me. We don't even know really how much they make after taxes. I mean they just don't know. The state of their finances and such really hard to be purpose. With your money when you're living It's almost there to deny alright you're you're, just nodding aging in this because either you're fearful or you're a pathetic, whatever the reason is, and so the budget is the number one key of getting on track, and that is doing it every month, listing of all of your expenses and in the goal would be your end comes before the month begins? looking at the next month, and so this is what I want to make in the following months of your own commission or your or your income fluctuate you gonna, hafta guesstimates, it's kind of This is what I think we're gonna make, and then you can make changes brought the month of that if that number is off, but you take that income for the month. My
as all of your expenses and you get it to equal zero, so every dollar is assigned to a category and that's kind of your spring board of starting off, because what that's gonna do is, Veal, a lot of your spending habits where you're spending money, if you're not saving money are giving money or in a sea that- and so it's really getting in trawl and once you do that for a few months it may be a rough few months. Have you never done before, but after doing about three months are gonna start to gain control and then that's really where your eyes are open, like wow k, and then you figure out ok how much debt your I have. How can I start. This often really getting to the place where are not only debt free, but you have savings and all about so we have a whole year. We call the baby steps around rooms, a solution, so its vote, some work content, can find all of that on Rachel Cruiser comrades Abrahams outcome. I love. I love is India with thirty, starting with what I said at the beginning of the first step is getting out tonight because I think, or a hundred per cent
my family, we were not re silence, not imams. Each I'll be right up to be of it to be conscious of money where YA edge, you're, no remark by the way very normal. Yes, probably because it was something we struggled so much money actually that it was sort of dislike. Let's not look over there and we don T see how bad it is. I definitely walks into marriage like thing God, I'm married to someone who is we basically responsible, because I was just like Now- have an absolutely no, let him a credit card to the target and hope that I've got it to cover these three pillars. So I love the idea of getting getting honest with yourself because you never gonna get to replace you wanna, be. If you can't stop it, yeah- and I would say to Rachel that you know your
personality. Actually, a lot like mine, like I M, a free spirit. I am spender, naturally look you're either. Naturally I save our spending and I'm a spender. I I'm not the details and so like what you just described, unlike that literally, would have been me a if I hadn't had these like foundational principles, growing up budgets Courage when that is If you relate to Rachel myself in that way, they know I'm spend their. I love to spend my left to live in a moment you can still learn these tools and still be who you are like. I still will always enjoy spending money. I've learned how to save and I've made a habit in my life, but I still get this. Thrill of going to target area like, but I know what I can spend right in the budget. It's like. I have categories and my uk I'm spending and control, but I still of Jimmy, I literally was just on. I think, Banana republic calmer before we got on my bag. My husband clothes. Consider, though I d shop, and I love it so and so you can still enjoy life but be in control while at the same time
fine. So interesting about money, I have owned my car. Any for GOSH over a decade, and actually doing copy at its on the new book right now, so this is fresh in my mind, I talk about the idea of having this limiting believed at that mass and therefore about money and I hate to administer this is embarrassing, but for years and years as a business owner- and I say this because so many women who listen to this broadcast owner and businesses- afraid years in that space. I didn't really know the finances of my company at all, like my attitude was: do we have enough to cover Gabriel? Do we have enough to pay? feels great and we're doing good times, pain on time. Often here I couldn't for a truly scale, and I couldn't ever caught expenses. Because I was too afraid to dig in to what the financials were too afraid to do it? Because I didn't understand- and I think a lie
of women, are in that place either with personal finances or business finances. They need oh, that they don't know answered You afraid to even try and the crazy thing is what would actually give you more confidence is just to admit that you don't know entered dig into the. How how do I learn ass? What book in a red? What Pakistan I listen to, but yours oh caught up in the fear. What's gonna happen for not knowing that you don't just, like live into that space? For me, it was like, if I admit that I dont understand a balance sheet, that I dont know the difference between about she and appear now then ice. Be allowed to run this company so a lot of shit around that you line that people have a lot of shame around personal finances as well? Oh absolutely because not only is it an intimidating part of your life, just you're explaining right, I mean the business side theirs. This is an pianos and bright. All of that
his intimidating, but on the personal financed side, there's Ellen and so that the people don't even want to get near because they don't understand and they don't want, asked questions. Could they don't wanna, look dumb, what's so interesting about personal finance, which is very common even with your business finances by it is oh much about your behavior It's really not a lot about had knowledge, because the two real we succeed in your personal finances? Your needs no a ton. Would you really don't like all of us know? If we don't have the money we probably shouldn by it like we probably should be saving right. These are basic com in principles that are so easy to understand, but it is so hard to do, and so what happens as as we stick in this and that we keep doing the same mistakes over and over again, because we don't want to change because the changes uncomfortable and to say, ok, I'm It changed. I'm gonna try to live on a budgets because
you're, really when you look at its its fifth grade. Math I mean it's income, minus expenses equals zero and so that the math of it is not that difficult, doing it and actually putting it on paper. And seeing it that's the scary part of the behaviour that is so hard to change, but when you change it and you get over that terrible feeling it's amazing progress and how quickly you will see progress because actually decided to care and I think a lot of people that are in denial when it comes to their money. Out of my encouragement is, is usually your situations, probably probably us not as bad as you think it is, the unknown as what is scary. It's all these numbers in your head, the sphere of not wanting to the bills are login to your bank account fear, is usually mostly time greater than your reality, and once you get it and see it and take the scary monster, you know like open that open the closet door and and and really you to look at the monster, the vases. Ok, I'm in a do this and you can
that usually saying. Ok now it feels possible seemed impossible. Now feel so doable because, again you you put things out there and you actually are living in your reality. Instead of this make believe world so happy Do you think that the community we have especially, I think, when we're younger how much you their attitudes towards money effect. Their attitudes towards money affect how we spend our money. Oh, I think, Normally I mean who you hang around with. I really believe as who you become, because you are king up on habits and if your friends don't care, about money right in and they don't care to know I'm going to play. Instead, I'm just wanted to go on this great vacation. I just want to go out to eat all the time. Oh don't worry about it that lifestyle is going to make you if you're, in contrast without say, ok, I have to say no to myself, because I don't have the money to do those things and you start comparing your life in your lifestyle to others. When your prince in your values are not lining up, and I thought to say that No, I dont have friends that the ILO
I'm that do money very differently. It would be very, very difficult to to and financially and really again stick to a budget sort, sacrificing your lifestyle to get out of date and do these things when you're, And don't really care as much, and I find about two three women. I talk to majority Their friends, don't think that debt is big deal and they don't want a budget that doesn't sound fine. That sounds restricting and they went to live in a moment and so on. How do, but I talk to friends and even family dont get it. I would say a lease find a Sunday, you hope later Mary, it's your spouse or a good girl, friends or some one. That is good, with money and has your value system to talk to again. It's gonna be really hard of your isolated to do. Stings when your friends are doing the opposite. If you will- and I wish, I need a quote where it's already, but you need to start off the top of my head and I don't, but there was a way study done by millionaires and they talk about that a millionaire show that they are
friends are within, like twenty percent of their income level or some like that and its because, not because just rich we're going out virtual, but they Would it be around people that that work Reno work hard on their entrepreneurial day? They do things that make that that they win in life. If you will- and that is what are attracted to and that's the end up being friends with enough that you will choose in time. What because we know that time is sold, limited and of Europe know if you're do Roger if you running your business and you have a, husband and you have kids and as I all this stuff is going on your time, parliament and you have to be very selective of who you hang out with and so hard to see or value system lining up with other people's values. The summit, that's when you, I think, connect and have even about our friendship
hey all our next women's conference is only a few weeks away and if you have never attended before this is the events that will change. Your life rise is a three day: women's personal development conference, where we laugh until we pay our pans and we talked about how things are we cry and we find community and we create the road map to changing our lives or businesses or whatever it is that you're working on? If you want to find out more your curious, what it's all about, I highly recommend you go check out the instrument and see what our community says. You can hear it straight from them. It's at: let's rise, dot, co and, if you're looking for the next one, it's happening in Toronto. On March this through the seventh that's Toronto March, there, through the seventh check out all the details at the Hollis cold dot com. If you have been looking for a nudge, if you have been looking for something to kick start change, I promise this is the thing
I mean I think it's it's funny it the first time that I got to meet you. I was having dinner with you and Chris you right now and that check came at the end of the night and ethically me. The three of us split it and I remember the baron's job, like you, ve done it ever car increasingly hard. I ve got a credit card. I was like mortifying because I'm like oh look at them like walking the walk and talk even live over here in my master judgment angel. Now you got not at all, but I just like us, but there are so many things. A really not just saying this. I think you know it like a supermarket. How much! I love your dad like what I have learned in business from onto leadership and all of the car It is such a big sanch, but being merged in in the culture of Ramsay. Is what made me start? the question like just
even being on credit cards, because we are an interesting we are. Interesting like way of thinking which you guys, like yourself I told you have always shown crackers, always we pay them off and for at the end of everybody butter, it always having done things. I remember saying that you like, because we really good credit you're like, but why do you need credit? If you have money but you never really would never occur to me to pay for something with a debit card. The idea, no it what it and I need. You are my oh yes, but I am taking this. Is you guys do you're gonna laugh at me, He bought her office when we move to Texas in cash, which we have never an hour and then is the influence of you guys. One hundred percent like we're not supposed to be a death like Rachel, would not what is your allies self, but really it is who you are surrounding yourself. Listeners encourage does Listening MIKE, I get
and I want to go to dinner with a Ramsay but I follow all the Earl I'm social media. Feel like that's a great look at you for appreciates your employees, rights, active Ramsay, but the bay. We always is people who are getting out of debt of James a levy so great tat. It saw an aspiring suddenly like IP last thirty thousand dollars in student loans in a year here I paid off or how we owner has more cautious that these people were celebrating getting out of debt, and I don't even have to love that I'm just like you do so you can hang out with people relaxes are really encourage you to consumer in your media yeah. So absolutely because again- and I think our social media countenance a great point- how much set in who says so of your way of thinking and your expectation of life like I had a stop following a bunch of fashioned bloggers, because our my whole instagram feed we're all. These are beautiful women with these amazing clothes, and I started
so you ve started to sleep in a distant it meant, and this whole idea of all if I could just have that I'd be happy and Canada spiral, and after looking at these things over and over economic Whitman, Do you, like? I know in my head the truth this is so silly and I'm looking away. It's not worth me in their scrolling and seeing this day in day out, as I did, I'm followed a bunch of unlucky by magic fashioned bloggers by any means. I still follow a few, but, unlike this is all I'm looking at in my spare time and I'll? Let you know what it's just, not worth it and so being careful again, even on social media through your phone. Is it so easy to compare your life to other peoples, like real and the best part of it? why, for being shown in the most best perfect way Anna, like you to make sure I feel so insignificant and not cool really when it comes down to it. So I'm always ok, Virgil be prepared as open up Instagram, even of just like you have to remember the reality of what's going on around here,
quick break to tell you a little, but something that we have been working on at the Hollis Co Nicholas Start today. Journals, that's right or daily practice of gratitude goal, setting wrapped in a beautiful design small badge it's out for the second wave, but we're already sold out of the two of the three covers. There's just a single one laughed and I can t as a person who is using it on an everyday basis, is a massive difference maker rounding myself in gratitude. In setting me up to chase go every day Hollis Codec, super curious about what it feels like to have built a family business at the level that you guys have built it like. What age were you when
We, the company, was started that, where you were you born or is it so that it it was before your time No, it was right after I was born so moment, add filed bankruptcy. Actually, the year I was born, so It was doing real estate and- and I was born in april- and I filed bankruptcy in September of that year and so out of that whole part of their story dad. I d again to what the Bible has to say about money. What common sense has to say about money because he was like. I have all these financial degrees after my name and I fought for bankruptcy like what is going on and so really getting to the heart of what makes when financial in Germany, we talked about right. These basic common sense principles by putting them into practice, is what's difficult and so he's very teaching all these things, you gonna get a Sunday school at our church, Bulgaria was like super like below basic levels. But low key,
then slowly but surely there was also a radio station, unnatural that was actually and bankruptcy, which is funny, and so they had like a few free hours and he was a clog it on, and you know, talk about money and then can from there like wrote a book and those are very, very gradual process a few well, and so all of that- and I was you Know- you three years old, when a bunch of that started happening with the radio. All of that, and so I did grow up with like Shipping Department was in our living room from the year that likewise this sort, I would stress, envelopes and stuff books and envelopes and help ship things, output labels on the front of packages and all of that and then as it grew, we were very much so part of it. I like we would travel to events on the weekends and work the backbone tables. I remember I was for Tina. My sister was sixteen and dad set us down after all day and he was like, ok, girls. You appreciate this ritual, but he was like. I want you, growth open up your own business and you can do it
there. You can do it separately, but I want you to learn how to run a business, and I want you to learn a base. European l she'd. I want you to learn expenses. I want you to figure out something you can do and we like looked at each other really why this is so stupid. Like you know- and you know, I really want you to do this for a little bit, and so Denise and I my sister, we opened up a snack business at the off. So there were like the indifferent kitchens and the office building at the time, and so we compete with the vending machine prices, unlike did the whole, either as we caught at your integrity, snacks because and pay for it, and so the ass, the better on the opposite. With that last supply about twelve to eighteen months, it felt like five years for us, but in so doing now, and then I started speaking with dad when I was fifteen years old. So I would travel with home and
on stage and pitch our kids products with a whole kids line about how to teach kids about money and so I would you get up and to those like little tad minute and sell those kids products and then I'd get it cuts of whatever soul. Whenever I saw in the bank book table, so I did that through high schools. I was speaking in really immersed some kind of life through the Indo High School there and then in college. I can unplugged announcing that's one of the college and enjoy it, which was totally great, my mom than a deer expectations of us being in the face whether that is really what a week to do and what are we ve, called to what are excited about, and so after college in my story goes from their authority said earlier, but started yet do another full time. So that's all that to say long answer, but from the very beginning we were a part of it and again I do want to stress to people at here, because if you have a business it's running, you have kids number one. I think it is such an amazing environment to grow up when your parents, entrepreneurs and you get to watch them
decisions and talk to your kids about it and like really than the way, but then once they get old enough, let them make the decision to they choose to continue on in it or do they want to do own thing, because most miserable by I had the most miserable thing, be in the world to be part of a family business when you're not have when you're, not living in your gifts and your passions and Europe, all my dad was doing this. I felt like I had to know it has to be your decision to do because that's we ve studied a lot of family businesses and the ones that succeed and transition on are the ones that people are in their sweet spot. Doing what they love it so often women, especially who are building small businesses are, they haven't Etsy shop, they're, doing direct sales or whatever it is, have a lot of guilt and shame about.
Wanting to have a business like they feel like. I should only wanna be a mom like they struggle to whatever, but if I have to decompose highway from the kids in order to have a drink cells party or whatever it is, they have a lot of shame wrapped up in it, and I love that my especially my two older boys, who are eleven and ten at the end of the month, have watched like me work. And now a decade in their getting to see the fruit of that labour Ariane Special, like I know that only Business means that I didn't have the time that a state mom gets like. I understand that I made that trade off, but the beautiful thing, It's that my boys do not know a world where a woman cannot build and run a successful meteorite than they do now. A world where, like in their minds like oh you just you, worked really hard. You really really hard, and then you can answer
the special for yourself and I love, and you have that line that everybody says eleven away? Tell me lie about Ireland live like no one else. A later you can living give like no one else there so yeah encourage anyone who's in that speech today we are struggling with. Oh I'm in this business tricks you for my children but yeah, but but what is the the awesome things that they're gonna get out of? It are one of the values that their learn by watching you build something. So that's right and I think to kids a resilient like like they are the it's amazing. What's you, what you're pressure and what you think in your head and putting them on your kids when they may not even feel that we gave him were growing up. Dad travelled a time I mean at night. He was teaching financial peace, university or nine recourse in person alive. Like three nights a week, coming all that and I back on my childhood am I do- and I remember I remember going on dates with my dad and he would pick us up and get it
us up in a well dressed and bring me flowers, and we would do that in my head. It was like all the time I was did you like. I think I did that four times now you that every middle school Vasco game that I cheer tat looked like you. You know he did a picnic. Bored and things in life and really That's what I remember. I dont have this scarring idea You know only saw my mom and ever saw my dad. No, no, no like it. Even in my mind again you're there for the important things if you are able to be and your presence when you are there and you're, not on your phone, your on social media GMO when you're with your kids, your with your kids and then when you worked or at work, and you work hard and your kids are seen as observers, so male your dad or or mom. In that case, I would say, you're Kids are resilience for sure good job. I love that. That's good wisdom, s good wishes
two here because I feel like and that it really is about the intention Amity and the quality time. Yet you have those memories of such cool things, and it's not that it was every day bullets that, when it happened, It was. It was really intentional. How has your business? How has your were changed as you have become mama I'd say definitely has changed in the sense that I pulled back on travel side travelled a time before kids. They ten. There was a speaking engagement. I may I just did it, and even in the early days at so many things for free and I was like Joseph anyone want to me- I was there really made those those sacrifices early arms, I'm so thankful. I dead has now that I have the girls I'm able to pick and choose what I do Morceau and because the Vatican, travel basely in half in these early years and when I'm pregnant and all about it, just miserable fairly way that they are an airplane and all that so said that part as well.
Shifted, I would say the most, but but in others time. I think my works exploded even more since my curls up- and here I mean I have I've- had to books since thou my started, the Rachel crews show on Youtube, and I mean like if anything exploded on that and which is so cool and so yet another everyone's life looks different right, em and you're kind of have to pick and choose, and so for me it's that, but again it potent things as when I try to be added, so I've kind of decided olive Amelia my three year old, all of her first, I really want to be at so like her first Dave Preschool wanna be there. She had a first day of ballet she's, never taken ballets, I put her imbalances. I've always wanted to be abolished and I am currently living just for a few years, and so I wanted to be there for that. I was there for that, and so you know to me like there's. There is definitely that that I have chosen to be priorities by an two months valleys and be every Monday, and I will be there if you had some one else. It's gonna be taking her and said: that's, ok, she's, ok with them! She's gonna be ok, so so yeah.
I would say it said, shifted. I think priorities but travel the most. That's the most! That's change for me of pulling that back. Some lucky assets to be hers. Is it something that keeps coming up and in what I'm sayin her travelling or people are asking questions and email, and so I really want to be intentional any time that I have the opportunity to speak to another mom who was working at the level you are working. Is talk to me about how you ask for help because so many women are like Rachel you do I like, or how do you do about it? How do you do it all? I'm like a don't I I have Lillian Vault husband. I have an assistant, and I know that people in there means on the internet to freak out when you say that their like you'd love your children, I'm like now get out of here. Be sucking. Do you get out of it? But I do think that so many women in media, like hoo hoo
Our listeners have heard from most are like actresses and singers end there his dislike wall, like you just really organised well I get out of here. You know you have three nannies it the irish people are not talking enough about asking for help, and so women at home were struggling. Don't know that you should so whether that look like in your life, I remember talking to Christine Cain and are no. If you know who she is, but we cannot have that health on church and ultra. She is like amazing. He's like my mentor of like who does on steroids and has to girls two zero MIKE I'm always like Christine. What are you doing? How do you do it and I'm her telling me she and James I mean she was unashamed. She said I outsource what can be outsourced so good and so everything from like someone,
as laundry someone even for her. She hates cookie, saw her things like I pick up dinner, or I have someone cook cook at me, like I don T cooking to this on my thing and so things that can be out sourced outsource them. If you are able to if you're in that financial space or you know or wherever you are and your story and in your life, whatever you're able to outsource outsource, you can't outsource, hugs came source. You have certain things when their certain things that, as a mom you're, always gonna be a mom, and those are things that you want to be a part of your kids, life and and talking to them and being in their world and knowing them really really well, and does I think can't necessarily outsource and so that the things you and Georgia and I have learned to do and honestly I was little bit like now elegance. Arizona with the war would be, but, like we're friends like oh, I hate doing laundry light ok with that. I grew up with a moment. She did everything and that's not my story. That's I can be my wife and so things that growth
Shopping, our nanny goes go shopping, so I come home, I'm not grocery shopping. I am with my and if I have a house, cleaner. I can give you my no, I think I said then they now I have ever Fulton housekeeper. I would certainly Rachel and I had the housekeeper, but I was like unites Macaulay Do you clean the house- and I just did it once a month, because there is still a little bit of that guilty ironic, if it's more than once a month that feels Tommy access should be doing a just two weeks ago. My husband's I beg. Can we put? Can we do it like every other week legacy is such a huge get when we come home, The houses like spotless like just me, what kind of a weird hurdle for me emotionally. We, like ok every other week do that and that so stupid. Why is it a hurdle for me? No Rachel embrace that, because I don't wanna be vacuuming and clean my baseboard on a Saturday when I could be my girls and looking round the park so yeah. So that's my thing out. But you can outsource and
and I'm great with that- and I had my second baby. A lot of people said to like asked for, ask for help- and I remember thinking, ok, I will, and I did it so much more with care it. When I had Caroline verses, my first one amelia- and I have I know, they better memories with my second as a newborn, then such a more relaxing memory, not only knowing what you're doing you're on a new mom anymore, but but still I in a sense people caught lazy, but unlike IRA, lying in bed for two whole days and is holding a baby on me, here on me and I was like I'm just sit here, because this is ok and I consider which is hard for me to do like I'm gonna. Do it, and so all that to say yes, also what you cannot source and be in a moment with those with those kids when you have those moments for sure- and I would say two things for this- is to remember that and if you,
It is not necessary, even a financial thing. So if you are looking for two hours a week for yourself TAT, just go literally, do anything less and have a breakthrough. Sterile mommy's need two hours trade with. Another man, hey I'll, give you two hours on Thursday. If you give me two hours on Tuesday like there is, if you get creative with how you are asking for the help that it will I trust you money, I also think when we were earlier and our marriage we were like, We really wanted a housekeeper and we can only afford deeply once a month just exactly like you're talking about and we gave up dinners so that we can afford bank is now is more important to us than getting to go to like blacking s really wanted to be able to just have someone swimmer, Toilets never I met whenever I'm speaking- and I talk about this. I say what I was told him any and every Fulton Housekeeper- and I I know for a fact that there are women in this room who just start in your head
be nice and everybody last because half the room thought that, unlike what ya how in the world do you think that I could produce at this level by myself, I can't and if I keep that truth from you. If you lingering somehow running this company and drawing this much right in these books and raising for kids in keeping my house clean and feeding them great music. If you think that then it's gonna stop you from even trying, because you can do it well, I can't do anything. Rachel's ran in the world's wallbury ass, no man. We ask for help legit away other things so fast. In order to be able to afford the help, because we have family by ass, there isn't action like as long as we ve had kids, we don't have any family around so have you didnt pay, for child care. Are you so if you can get it and you're not accepting the help, but you sister come stopping a martyr, ass, forthright yeah,
yes- and you know- and I find people want to help and then you can have it away, and then I get to do the same like that. People want to be able to help you as well, and so that's that's a big thing. Point to be able to help you as well, and so that's that Your kids are entertained. My kids, upstairs you know at a certain age and then you Amsterdam way and then I get to do the same like like people. Why to be able to help you as well, and so that's that's a big thing to remember. It takes a village and yeah it's good. To be honest, I know that's good Rachel spoke to me. I think it is clear that in the new book called it could ask for help its eye- and I say this in there- I was watching the today show four years ago when there is a very big celebrity, who is releasing a very big lion of products and she also has a slow. Husband, Lecter Superfine ass. They have kids, and they asked her man busy mom. You have all these points. You have all these businesses? How do you do it?
She smiled and said. I'm just super organised and I wanted to pass and swore. You know That is untrue. I know that at the level that their operating at they have massive help, but the money. Entire. She doesn't know that an ocean- you saw this woman say that and now she's thinking that shit. It's just not smart enough, just not organise enough, just not the sheep. Try hard enough now, she's the she feels depleted because you are honest, and I will be the one hour raise my hand and say a girl. I get all the help that again and you should do any good, It's important to because I think like What matters is show your kids doing. How are you doing here All these women are beating themselves out because they don't think they're doing things quote the right way. When the reality is that there are other kids do in pretty good
their genuinely good people. I know they have jerky days, but their genuinely good people. You know your love each other every what you know everyone's doing a good look at the evidence of your good work and stop beating yourself up, because it didn't look like that person's Instagram feed. That's right! That's and I think to and in my kids are stolen little young for thus my three autumn, just now, starting to like tat in a little bit more. But it's amazing when you know your kids on a deep emotional level, that's gonna It's gonna be a lot of your saving grace, because if you are working parents- but you don't talk to you kids, you not know them, then I could be the more more wounding ripe and even having a working MA, my cabinet and arms that it doesn't know you and so being able to sit with your keys. And my parents, I am thankful Gazeta like does. My husband grew up with similar parents to that your jesting gauged and how they are in an trying again schedules are gonna, look different depending on the seas em but have- dinner's together, like as many times as we can sit down as a family like we try to do it two to three times a week and just it together
amazing, when you just ask a question list sit down, no their friends being part of their worlds that are important in full and influence them and you're gonna have a hold on how they're doing, and so it's gonna get nothing put judgment on other moms. But like the thing that scares me, I even think about like a middle, soon and high school when the case was dubbed the room shut. Door, and you know nothing about them. You know what, They're doing you don't know you don't know their friends. You know how they are: that's the scary place for me as a mom like I always want to be in tune emotionally because that means, but I leave for three nights and trial when I come back there scarred and and freaked out no date, that a mom, I love them and I know them, and so I think that that's a huge part of parenting that again we're just tapping into pointed out. We ve made a priority. We have always said from the beginning. We were to know our kids on a deep level. And I honestly I feel like the is. The Miller. She three. Yes, you re not without a tangible talk, no know about you, but you can just mentioned
Now, absolutely! Yes, I see you it's about its knowing your kids but its knowing them as individuals. That's right has every one of our kids is so different and they need to be loved in different ways and they need to be discussed the different ways and is so important to have a relationship, and I I want to encourage too like when, when my kids were very little, I really serve as a model because I was like you have. This is terrible. I said it before, but I like this is not for me. I this is that you know toddlers and I don't like it and it's not an I had so much shame. I thought it was the worst mom ever means I didn't like toddlers and now I have this is eleven and I love lion. So much because I like having a conversation. I wanted to tell you about what you're doing I want they go and business trips with me. We have so much fun and so
encourage those of you who are in a season where you're, like I'm a horrible embrasure, I'm a horrible mom, because I do not like this two year old. No, you just sit there, a jerk. It is not your fault and it does get better so good. So at this point I, like you, covered every topic. Anyone could ever need Gas- oh my god, you're perfect life. Now the re checks that waiting here. Thank you so much for taking the time and sharing your wisdom and and your grace in your friendship with me and with the audience. I know that their people who are listening, you're gonna, think differently about what they're doing to finance is and how their speaking in themselves and how their taking control of being intention also actually want to acknowledge you for that, and thank you so much for,
percent of the time lost, thank you. Rachel thinks we're having me on always so fun so fond of you. We should hang out on more than just this pot cast, which means The next time you on interim or Facebook or Youtube be sure and type Rachel Hollis into the search bar and check out, all the fun things we have going on on your favorite platform. Ladies and gentlemen did I mentioned- I have a book coming out. Here's a thing: it's called get out of your own way. Sceptics guide to growth and fulfilment and we're the priest window of windows. I am were excited about having written a book for both men and women about twenty lies that I once believed that were keeping me in my own way. I have written this from the perspective of someone that is totally there.
From Rachel Hollis, even if the format is somewhat similar to grow wash your face, I wrote it from the perspective of someone who's been skeptical of tools like this book or even the pot castra listening to for ever and ever its through that lands that I'm talking about the ways that I was getting in my own way and I think in uncovering Truth behind those lies not only help me get out of my own way, it I'll help you get out of yours. There are two ways I want to say. Thank you for preparing this book. I have created an e course. Any course yeah in the course of sixty minutes each course called finding your, why it's a fantastic resource? it's available, absolutely for free right now for having pure the book, and if you How to get out of your own way. The book that calm right now and follow the problems. Not only we get equal ass. You can hear the first thirty minutes of the book,
and get out of your way comes out March. Tenth, I'm super super excited about it, get out of your own way. The book dot com hit that link follow the problems, and I appreciate your support.
Transcript generated on 2020-02-16.