Chapter three had any binding, how'd no not that I know I view missed calls. I don't think that from anybody down there, why, from cereal and this american life. I'm brine read this shit them all. We have is ok, they killed herself. One then, are you kidding me. Oh, my God, said everything that happened

it was unable to call yesterday his body was found yesterday morning, and it happened. Yesterday morning. I did happen between last Monday and Tuesday morning. Oh my god. Right now his mother, Ok Skype! I was just trying to get her taking care of them sure she don't go to a nursing home like us, and the White House detail pace. He drank some. I'm so sorry. Where were you?

It her, but where does my like trying to focus on his mom right now, but they took her to the hospital for evaluations to make sure that mean to make that John haven't tried to give her any of it, but her system with clear he's been healthy and everything she she knows. What's goin on, she understands to a certain point and she just basically wants to go home, in times of those still trying to take all this and I'm trying to follow your saying. But it's a shocking. The hearing you, but it's not all- registering emphasis talk. He emailed me the other night, like John sitting in the studio in days on the phone with Schuyler, I search my inbox for the last message from her written a goose

the pseudonym John used for his email address- I mean the last thing he wrote me a minute hidden, even good chanced solely read all this. He scented on Sunday, fathers day, eight, fifty five p m and it happened one night it's Wednesday now early evening, just three days ago, John was alive standing at the computer in his bedroom. Emailing me thinking of me sending me a graph of the increasing gold reserves of the Russian Central Bank saying what do the risky know that we don't know why we do this? We were told that someone has died, hold up our last interaction with them and point to the nearness of it in time to explain our disbelief as if time gives a shit, and I bet you did you probably get message back baby

we'll just Rebecca today like a couple hours ago. I understand why our failing I talk to you how far they. Me and John said on the phone for four hours no lie, you know how you can get in to talk to him and like not stop. We stayed on the phone for four hours and he was fine. I knew he had some issues, but he was fine. He talked How bad this world was like. The main thing we talked about the other night was how bad this world was and what it's coming to and everything, and how me and Jake. Bringing more kids and nobody else should bring anymore kids into this world because how bad it going end up getting and light,

are you Emily was fine? It was just like a casual conversation about. It was a joint cumbersome, John talked about committing. Beside he talked about it to me, and I knew that he talked about it to others. He never called me on the verge of anything like that. When it came up. It was usually very matter of fact like, of course. This is my plan. A minute do this someday, though, if someone might talk about the plans to retire or move, John actually wrote me several emails that Sunday fathers day the night before he committed suicide, though but the russian gold reserves was the very last, but there was a string of messages just before that. I'd recently sent on a series I produced for this american life about the frayed relationship between cops and African American, while I was working on it months ago, I had been so good about keeping in touch with John, so Finished I wanted to share with them, so we could hear would have kept me so busy

on Sunday night. He wrote me as he was listening telling me how disgusted he was with the police abuses, AUS reporting about reporting about how our country wasn't worth it, ending how he would let his mother lay over and die before he called his local police. And then he sent me an email title collapse list, which is the email that I saw come in, but didn't get a chance to fully reed, because it is very long. John preface By saying that he was inspired to send it after listening to our cop episodes and then the bullet points stark ninety nine percent of rhinos gone since one thousand nine hundred and fourteen ninety percent of big ocean fish gone since one thousand nine hundred and fifty fifty percent of great barrier reef gone since one thousand nine hundred and eighty five ocean plankton decline of one percent per year means fifty gone and seventy years ocean acidification doubles by twenty fifty triples by twenty one hundred, One million humans net are added to the earth every four and a half days. We must produce more food in the next fifty years. Then we have in the past ten thousand years combined earth has only

sixty years of farming left a current world, soil degradation rates on and on. It goes like this. Like his ledger of expenses and that's after disclaimer from John saying note that I do not include energy or economic issues. With this list. Its numbing I found a later. The John D actually write this list, its made its way around apocalyptic websites and common threads seed expect this thing to be wildly accurate, but after checking some of the statistics, it doesn't seem to be. When I look at this right now, in the shadow of John Suicide. I guess it's clear: this was a fixation of a person in a deeply depressed mental state. When I read it just three days before I didn't see that pal. I didn't see it as I was looking at it again today, just a few hours before Schuyler called when I finally sat down to reply to it and told him quote, this is fascinating.

I just saw it as the normal cynical John, be macro more had become used to. I saw it as a glass full, a piss all the world was a shit tend to John, and he bore every disgrace of that World S. Heart Schuyler tells me that, as we speak, Tyler her brother in law is at the hospital with Johns mom working, you get power of attorney, so they can bring her home and care for her in her own house, Scottish John called a message. Several people, the Navy, kill himself and the Tyler was one of them. It also Pierre The Tyler was the last person besides Dawns mother, to see him alive. I ask it: there will be a funeral. The working on that scatter says be: yes, there were likely be a service. In a few days, spouses it'll, probably small, just the goods and

Emily and Johns mom I mean I want to. I would like to comment see you gonna fuck. You know, I don't know, what's appropriate. Give out. I mean I was doing. I was slow, are we doing a story that involve John and I got to know women care about him, and now you guys and sure, where that leaves me as like. Who am I to this real this situation? you know if he wasn't it to this. I wouldn't have called before January. We're spoke, he warned me in an email quote. I must tell you it will take a long time for me to just impress on you what a crowd fuck town in county. This is.

What John was alive? I had trouble seeing the shit town, the John was seeing as parts of it, but not the full and glorious relief in which he saw it, but in the aftermath of his death a whole other story unfurled in front of me piece by piece, a story I could picture John lying out for me, but outrage and humor and sadness, maybe even written by one of his favorite short story writers. I could see John handing it to the next visitor he coax down to bid county as their bedtime reading saying read this it'll help. You understand this place. I've lived nearly every one of my days, it'll help. You understand me John brought me to bid county to search for a body of the man he believed wrongly had been killed by Kabir. Invert John hoped. If we could expose that murder uncover the body so to speak,

Finally, everyone would see shit town for what it was, but that dude in the fight with came from his wasn't the body that would expose shit. Town Johns was the day after I learn of John Suicide, I call Tyler to give my condolences and also because he was seemingly the last person to be with John, besides Johns mother, to see if something happened, the prompted John to do this. Now I tell him, I'm sorry, ask him how he's holding up Amelia. He searched telling me the story of the days and moments leading up to the suicide. I

from my own phone, but I interrupt and ask if he'd mind me calling him back from the studio. Came in, I saw em according to see no l, olonnois starts again and then yeah from fathers, diet They want to spend hours. I will make an way. Implants open how'd, you know I never had no dirty work by others. Just that aren't area they plan to spend Father stay together, but in the end they didn't because John, when did something a couple days before that made Tyler mad, I'm pissed off item, because about my young and one of my young. Over there. Flying in the soaring. You know them Johns it give given her ass. He wanted to of another you're, not here, and my little girl

was tat poking around said Johnny, you gonna, hurt a lot more data and he said well. You have shown in earth at Julia to our that's a woman's version, and I in that kissed me You know my little girl. That known, I thought, but body that made it forgot. One d say that I don't know how much it nowhere don't get a short while ago? We don't go to the house now Tom. Why? he's the other, but there Let me say this now from now so the next morning and talk to them all by scum. Certainly no, he called me. And I thought about no one, but I firelight that's wrong. That argument

how about broke down? Can whenever I was wrong. That's a jumbo. I just don't understand why you say that shit. You do. I said the shit that you, Sir I thought, maybe I concur handle, but when you say that shit and for a more girls, I swear I just. Take your body or should I just figured you'd China one way all the nations of the earth by now. Why do you love- what did I say to make you liar? He didn't have not one clue what he said that this may all really. I'm sure was he meant it as a joke that went wrong. You know, like that. I think I've what their talk on display. So he's thinking it by going up in foreign tourism, so did he say was sorry you? What did he say when told him my own

What about your balloon on the phone dune Tell me love me and my love em they're up at that moment Sandy, because the next month, I went over and this Monday June. Twenty second two doesn't fifteen the day John died toasters. They called it their fathers day. No, do your work or something we decided where's longer vision, donor, copper, wire. There in total body that out of our continent's grass with israeli our vision, I remember very, we gotta go I checked for the fuel spells had told us he bought on a small bottle of whisky and John with sipping it as they drove to the copper River John was getting the style, Jack and Blue as they rolled along old back roads where he used to drive with his dad who died years ago. They went by his aunt Gertrude Old House, his old girlfriends house.

Everybody's dead and gone Don, told Tyler Gonna got up on the run down there, but once we get to the river fine, we had a good time, and would you go talk about it? John DOE alarmed you just stop taking down to yourself John, enjoy laughin extradition, important day you're talking about. They not only through Hell, you know the jogging soil. Hell we weren't look deeper water than about ways deepen they wouldn't go nowhere that may hold them like a kid we waited up and down the river and stuff and our slip. No raw, some crawfish remarked mister shown some Aigner the fact that before so loud and clear. Does. It seem like he was saying goodbye.

I, hey. I wished by pirate upon the downward, really you Tyler unfairly. Sorry, I'm really sorry! really show you. At the end of the day, tell the drop John off in this house about, I was just leave it upon a wild turkey. One alone upon allow Turkey to hurt anybody goblin. I'm action eleven that job, but I dont get tired

being out all day, and I had to get back home to my kids, but he was taking me to come back over there back in his trailer with his girlfriend and two of his young daughters kept getting he's from John. He says John was imploring him to come back, come back, put your kids to bed and come back, and he also started threatening to kill himself Ajax make up a show, may get it got all the mechanism of law. They said So I can do to keep them both myself and the driveway You know a place. The whole My place just worry about our put down his, but you know this cancer stuff so many times and my old lady was sitting here on porch with me. Cuz, I'm I'm about to just go over there

As she said, Tyler Refugee. On an over every time. You got yourself. You're gonna go car, you from achieved. It just keeps telling me that he did begun down there. You jacket, love around John Cause. That's what he's got an agent just guns! Oh, I don't want to leave, I've been downer all day. He wants me to state on their owner, and I've got I was down there and I've got a bad in the town alone. So am I not get pretty much reside Meyer anyway, I declare Mama take care of you, I'm taking care of the dogs, the yard. Everything is locked. I depend on me, Sir Yeah you're, twelve, around

I went learn my admires down and wait for the next morning. Tyler says when he got the news he went to Johns immediately. There was police tape up, it was a crime scene. Johns body had already been taken away, but Tyler noticed something on the porch floor and stooped to look. There were Johns glasses twisted up with kind of blood or bomb and on the lenses. That's were John died on the porch man. If I had been our soil, I had been able to get myself obliged to buy. What's her get one,

mines or the focal point for about a year. I felt for Tyler Donnelly was John, as John put it himself a kind of hers, that's father for Tyler. He was the person Tyler spent almost every day with he was also his employer. His source of income and of stability total me about something else happened right after John died, the next day with the house emptied. He made sure all the dogs were fed locked up all the doors, and I watched her to the hospital about your mom. He means Johns mother, Mary Grace. I call him also All my way up to the hospital. I got a phone, it was from a married couple. Tattered and now the woman was Johns cousin. She and her husband said they just driven from Florida where they live and that they were at Johns Place right now with a local police officer trying to get into the house, which was locked, the police officer had told them.

Tyler, probably had the keys and the cousins wanted him to come back and let the men I should well I'm gonna go straight check all Mamma to hospital after young men after a year, they should know, The way we were gonna get some close our house, and you know it is sound and crazy from Don T you ever heard about them before they never Donald, told me that he had some distant curbs on working time and they want nothing, but I urge and drought and wanton moguls nothing will turn on and went to the House door back dancer. In while asking them driveway the hospital, the hospital room, and I got the mobile phone. You go and Mama told us in Mamma dozens are down from Florida. I should have been bother, are you sure will lowered now after well? I said there

your house Jonah getting enough it. What do you want me to do? She should do let them in my house she should have by anyone. When you reach the going on in my house. She said: happy Nose and a middle aged couple waiting firm in front of the house job on Driveway Tyler saw Woodstock copy nose and a middle aged couple waiting firm in front of the house job. Doktor Justice Ballade, as can be, I said, I'm sorry, You don't know me, but Mama told me But he died anybody in house. She said for y'all to come to the hospital in they blew up. They started touching me, the fellow whether sit down here by around. In my face mind I was areas that I won't let him in the House tat. It was angry, but he says he tried to stay calm, yeah, you haven't even where thirty check on that lie at the job. Don't give a about her, looks like.

And then the women were just shears customs She will not come back to this house and then thirty minutes later at the house, It was fun of me in the future. Don't you Pa Tyler had not yet. Cousins in the house. Instead, they were now I'll, marry graces, bedside and because the cousins were going on about how heartbroken they were about John Brooks, how glad they were to see Mary grace. They started naming relatives they had in common talking about family members who died over the years I swear to God. Where's was in there trying to burning a Mary just to non, can you tell me he says she told them. She wanted to go home and have Tyler keep taking care of her in the dogs that she was planning to go. Of her in the house for several years

she told them she wanted to go home and have Tyler keep taking care of her in the dogs that she was planning to go under the family lawyers office tomorrow and get the legal stuff in order to make that happen and how he says he unmarried. Greece also had plans to make funeral arrangements for John, the cousin protested a bed, but Mary Grace, insisted and eventually the cousin gave in she said: okay, if that's what you both want and they left Tyler and Mary Grace together, but the next day tatters As when he went to take Mary Grace home the hospital wooden release. Her John said Mary Grace at all times I've since large dozen, but she does have significant dementia memory loss. So, even though she was demanding that they letter leave would Tyler a caseworker said she couldn't, because they deemed her mentally unfit to make decisions for herself and Tyler is next of kin. The cousins are phased out

Some folks ain't, no good for nothing. My anna me, so they mad tellers. You're. The only reason there here is to cash in on Johns estate- I'm your man, Mama, pearls and diamonds down. That's good. No go to showed me the go. I don't know. Now I don't know John, those were worth millions, but more about mom and impersonal, foregoing installed in the Van Gogh according to TAT right now, as he and I speak, my grace has technically been released from the hospital, but she still stuck there because her cousin has come to take her out, he's pacing the hallways. He says frustrated, confused, crying

missing or puppies asking Tyler. Why John abandon them like this asking him questions he's also asking himself more after this. I've been told by Schuyler the jobs we would be small, probably just the goods and family and his mother Mary Grace born. I arrive at Green Pon present Erin Church. On this sweltering Monday morning, a week after John died June, twenty nine two thousand fifteen oil, far more people showed up, and I expected there. Thirty may be forty people

and I know who very few of them are- were gathered in the cemetery behind the church, where small, tent and some chairs, or set up for graveside service Johns coffin is suspended above an open grave. Next to the headstone for his Father Tom Mackerel, more, there is no headstone for John People Flickr.

On small clusters, shaking their heads talking, lowly muttering certain words that I over here again and again in particular the words so smart and genius. Thank you. So Tyler is wearing a black t shirt for the occasion, along with dark genes and boots, he's carrying a frame picture of John as a boy to give to Johns mother and one of Johns old children's books from when he was a kid. A toddler says it recently been reading daughters. I came to the funeral with the goods and family Tyler. Let our procession her on his motorcycle, but is clear now that we were right that they are not the ones running this event, a Cadillac pulls up close to the cemetery gate and out of the back seat, climbs Mary grace with her Kane, escorted by a middle aged couple, but I assumed to be the cousins everyone hushes as they walk Mary Grace to a chair directly in front of the coffin. We all moving closer to the grave, get it right,

an older man introduced. His brother ban was in a wheelchair, with a voronezh lap begins to speak. I recorder myself on this frightful, Father God. We say what I think I have been overwhelmed unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of. Immediately were praying and immediately and disoriented, because John was an atheist and not a casual, atheist or an atheist. By default later, he was a fervent, a critic of religion as the Moselle US evangelist. For the very first time I talked to John, he made clear how hypocritical he thought religion was how vacuous and damaging he could be straight. I mean about it. He created video mash ups of footage of worshiper speaking in tongues, dancing around and rolling on the ground,

citizens like this. You once mentioned to me in passing that his favorite Bible verse was Ezekiel. Twenty three twenty hidden recite the birth, but I've since read it. The choicest line is quote there. She lustre after her lovers whose generals were like those of donkeys and whose mission was like that of horses watch their job drop when they read that sweet little bit. Information, John Atomic awaited writing in his twenty minutes. Service brother been only talks briefly about John himself. One thing I knew about John, he says, and all of you are probably echo this very, very small, area rather says: there's a story. Someone told him the other day from when John was a boy Margaret to a local garage and asked if they had any extra motors. Her son can take

John got that motor and tinkered with it all right. He took it down and put it back together just before he put it back together. Just perfectly. He says and that's the story. John had a brilliant mine brother been says, mechanics collar for help with pesky motors and then we're back to scripture. To me, it was sad to see the life of someone with such personality, remembered with so little to see John honoured with a service, so utter devoid of him, but for the person here who matters most Mary grace, it does seem to serve its purpose near the end. As brother Ben is beginning the final prayer. She thanked him for helping layer. Under arrest they load. It makes me feel good that you thought so much of them. She says enough to put him in peace.

Here is a merry. Greece begins weeping Tyler's mother, whom I met for the first time right before the funeral standing Extra me she has tears in her eyes and his merry gray speaks tothers mom clutches my arm I'll always be with me in my heart and my mind, paragraphs cries. I just cannot bear the thought of not having him. The cousin puts her hand and Mary Grace further bent his conduct. There now she tells her God. Thank you again,

When the services over there, some milling about people give their condolences to marry grace then the cousins helper toward the car Tyler is there and for a few moments I see him and Mary grace talking. Then I see the female cousin intervene and guide Mary Greece away from him later. Tyler will tell me that he was just telling Mary gracefully loves her, that he hopes he gets to see her again and that she thanked him for being by her side and said he was welcome to go back to her house any time he wanted and then, according to Tyler, the cousin jumped in and said no Mary grace. That would be trespassing even without being able to fully here this interaction myself. I can still sense that it's a tense moment and as the cousins walk Mary Grace to the car, I can hear Tyler's mother half shouted.

I hope you do the right thing then marry grace gets in the Cadillac and has driven away one score your brother been reference to Johns Funeral with Luke. Twelve fifteen brother been told us. Take heed. Beware of covetousness. A man. A person's life consists

not in the abundance of things which we possess. Life is not stuff. Brother been told us death, though death can we have a lot of stuff behind. You can go very quickly from the spiritual to the material. The way Tyler understood it John wanted to leave him and his brother, something when he died, which was my understanding to John told me as much on several occasions and minutes before he committed suicide. John texted Tyler Saint quote anything you want in this house. You can have unquote. Obviously those communications don't mean much legally without a will, and that seems to be the situation. Tyler and Schuyler told me after John died, they heard that he didn't have a will, which was shocking to them. Seeing what's happening to Tyler watching the cousin squeeze amount of John Affairs, it doesn't seem like with John, would have wanted. In fact, it strikes me as exact

the kind of scenario that would have tormented him, someone who's vulnerable, like Tyler, trying to stand up and take responsibility for making things better and still getting screwed Tal, there's been a consistent part of Johns life in recent years. Meanwhile tell us, as the cousins haven't been around for decades. I dont think this was the clock makers intent. I find it hard to believe the german takings life without having This is the same guy who kept detailed track of every expenditure he made the loved every shot. His dog Scott for him to leave none of his affairs in order, no arrangements for his mother's care. It's weird, but I visited lawyer, the men We named Boozer downs and confirms that.

He didn't do anything that would help. The situation really know will John never finished it. He says, but then been going on for years, trying to get stuff in our wouldn t. We talked about it, never do anything losers as John discuss suicide with him too. And besides discouraging and from doing it, he at least tried to get him to make proper arrangements. For instance, he suggested they find some non profit or other organization to declare the property in the maze the dogs, so we can find some overheated historic trust. There are lots of things in he didn't have any faith in that they said, although some riches are just go, sailing and unnoticed take care of it anyway, and I've spent too much money and there's self about smart, thoughtfully ass. He was about some things. Why

You tell us what he really wanted at one point I ask Boozer were actually talking about here when it comes to John to state what efforts are there and that's when we get to that the Buddha comes kind of cryptic there s one thing he asked me not to mention the people. He had an idea of what he wanted it with its assets now, where they really did it at all now, so he told you get plans for his assets that he wants you to keep secret. Yes,. You didn't tell me where I was and how are you gonna do Tell me the form it was gonna, but he was gonna convert. They talked about being on banked? Yes, this is something John mentioned to me once or twice. I didnt pay much attention to at the time, but now that he's dead suddenly feel sick again, he said that he was on bank, that intriguing weight

he kept. His money and assets somewhere other than a traditional bank account John, it's probably a surprise, was not a fan of financial institutions. What happens in the case of somebody I'm banked, I've never had before sign of done. But I guess, if you think somebody has some valuable asset they ve hidden in the walls or in the mattress or something you go looking literally a treasure and I've never up there I don't know, I guess that's my best gash, while losers office invites However, it may be that you think I should talk to her. Name is fake gamble, she's Woodstock, town clerk and, in fact, Faye not Tyler was the last person to speak John before he committed suicide. She now go back to your office, a town hall

just down the road from losers. It's a small building with the mayor's office in it and the Woodstock Police Station and a common room. There retirees play cards in the mornings. Some game called skipper. But I want to say a month, becomes the municipal courtroom, females she met, John when she first started his clerk ten years ago had been? For but the woman had been town clerk before and once they took over. He came into her office one day and introduced himself. It was funny high energy sap because he hits interdiction was I guess you know who I am said no sir. He said aloud John Bay Maximum or an on that day, on you know, my name. Is John Bay, John, with swing by town Hall, shoot the breeze with vague. They compare how their plum trees were doing. He chat about Socrates and can't with the town building inspector fade, visited, Johns Maize and admired his flowers, but John would also complain face says about the way. The two.

Was run the economy, the state of the area he used town hall. The same way he used Heather's tattoo parlor faces in the building inspector, tried to get John to put his intellect to productive use to pick a project that would help the town and work on it. The inspector even game is first computer, an old one. They lying around to encourage him to do research about local environmental issues for them, but I never ended up happening and, in the meantime, John, it started calling for talking about suicide once in the last year, even called her at night, sounding as if he was about to go through with it should always be able to talk him down until last week. I was some aiding dinner after a funeral visitation and he called me on the phone and tell me: do you want this? Are you comfortable talking about?

I'll run after day, and it was our can't slack. He always answered he warned enough it was they get you're, not telling me ass. He said this is strongly macro, more which I knew who it was, and he said on such sort. You listen to me I'm going to commit suicide tonight just what you are doing. I call the police because if you data will shoot them, he was very high tat and ass. Saint John John Place. Just listen to me. Listen and he was like this- is not going worked. Not you not gone taught me out of this. She just listen to me. John gave way structures he told her to you, nice dogs, he told us- or to find an envelope with cash to pay for that in here Tell me about what he whispered.

Do it we had- and he was telling me step- must stay up about He was actually mixing something getting something the refrigerator, and he was- during this, and he told me what it was all the tests cyanide and that it would be quick

so I'll, listen, Inessa, John! You do not want to do the s and he says I'm doing it right now. I am getting at other refrigerator and then he started drink in the mixture and then he was screaming at me. Tell me had burned and how he heart, how horrible it was the pang, and then I heard the screen door and then the it just went totally silent, except for dogs. Barking. Fair, had no idea that hurt opened that's horrible overnight its reply and steal just of there's not a not that I don't think about it there that I don't have wake up in the end

Raymond about it or are thinking about him a night night free me. She understands that that someone hearing about this it could sound like with John did to her was cruel, like you must have an angry at her to scimitar such a terrifying, traumatic phone call, but she says it wasn't like that cheating get the feeling that he was taking something out on her fate is no. Why John chose to contact her? Maybe he just wanted to talk to someone he trusted. Maybe he thought she could handle it. She says he did give her other instructions besides to euthanize the dogs, but she's vague with me about some of them were she's, as he told her, where to find quote certain things on quote The quote he wanted me to know where certain things were, what those certain things are. She leads to. The imagination faces. John also told her that a bunch of Tyler's belongings would be in the workshop

face as John didn't mention anything that night about a will or leaving assets to Tyler and his brother. She says he had told her previously that he wanted to do that. Just like you told me, right after the funeral. There's a luncheon at the house of someone who works at the local bank, but Tyler and the rest of the good sense don't feel welcome there. So they go to tatters grandmothers places that this is their family headquarters pretty much all day and into the night. You gotta grannies, and expect to find some combination of Tyler's hanging out around the little concrete table under the tree. In back, which is where they are now having their own posts, funeral gathering,

people wonder in and out seeming a little out of it saying the things you say on a day like this things like this all feels like a bad dream, and I keep thinking. I can just pick up the phone and call him. The gathering includes Tyler's uncle Jimmy his moms brother, who one met up night in eighteen. Ninety three was beating on the door of somebody's trailer and got shot in the head as a result, and because it was too risky to take the bull it out, it still lodge between twenty two years later anyway. It affects the way Jimmy communicates. He understands, what's going on around him death TAT Day ass, but his vocabulary is limited. So, as Tyler tells me how hurdles that the cousin stopped him from talking to Johns mother after the service, Jimmy kind of just chimes, affirmatively in the background. What's folks, thank me. When I look at labour, they don't have a fucking clue. They look at my tattoo version

scurvy face. I guess I don't like the judge I am not certain after the funeral. Thank him none these folks even knows, may really and have no idea that are paid for the falcon tip a woman's came out area in all my simple shit, like that, don't mean he'll brings none of them have a clue. What I mean to that little woman now money money,

That's all I care about money, maybe Tyler's naive, to think that he could an eighty eight year old woman with dementia, to the roster of people he's responsible for taking care of, but it's sort of sweet that he wants to. It would be nice if it least he could stay involved in her life and keep some connection to John's life. Maybe take care of his dogs ain't. A man made take partners, funeral didn't get to speak at John Service, asked him if he had in mind that he wished he could have shared in remembrance of his friend. There's something you do what I wanted to say. You could say it now. What would you wanted to centre? Well, John Bay. He had a note that I care about his ass. He now cause whenever I live from their he'd say. I love you man

every time and I love you salaried urgently. And sometimes it say. Just cause. I say I love you, don't mind, I'm trying to get up you Bernie Thine, no John me down because I know what I mean a man. I had a little sugar in his time, but hey no you know he d never try anything we made lock at you, Norman, that's what you said here when John introduced himself to media II. He began quote me: I am forty seven unmarried sort of him like a ham. Let's just say I might be a fan of David, said

arrest, or in other words I my noble Audrey Lord and an ban, is if you get the idea of course that could get you killed around here. I took that to mean John was gay, though, when we talked about it after he told me that he'd gone both ways in his life and whenever came up, he never call himself just gay. It was always semi homosexual or a semi practicing, almost section. Or celibate homosexual. I haven't been sure if other people around here knew this about John, if Tyler knew, but apparently he does and he's fine with it, which is not nothing and good county. Where the same moment in the summer of two thousand fifteen. It is one of the handful of places in the country defying the Supreme Court decision declaring same sex marriage, constitutional right by refusing tissue marriage licences to same sex couples. I ain't got a queer bone in my body. Tyler says he is to tell John, but if you do that your butt, I can imagine John appreciated that about Tyler

Tyler will be the one who makes Johns tombstone it'll be a couple months before he does it Time goes on. No one else will get John one John loved old cemeteries and gravestones, and it'll start nagging at Tyler the Johnson, the ground decomposing into worm dirt without so much as a marker, tell her one of any money for it, so we'll find an old piece of gray, concrete, actually a leg off one of the benches at the table and back of his grannies house and he'll painted a rich brown so that it looks like a carved piece of oak or cherry. Almost the cement is curvy with a design in it like to base clefts the whole thing, once its painted will look like the flourish on a fancy pillar when he's finished it tolerable hall, the heavy stone into the cemetery and place it at the head of Johns grave, it shorter and squatter the most tombstones and will look like nothing else in the whole cemetery on top of the stone tolerable in lay a pretty piece of stained would indeed

she's burned John B Mclemore, one thousand nine hundred and sixty six to twenty fifteen, with his favorite photo of John sealed into it, with polyurethane a picture of John leaning back in a chair outside feet upon a table, shirt off his chest of tattoos and nipple piercings and its full glory. It's a version of John that was hidden from the everyday world version, the most of the people, whose funeral surely did not know the Tyler did what's the name of the book that funeral, just only just only John. I got it and I read it to the girls last night. Is it was everything I shiting I gave the girls a hug and try to get out the room as fast as I could, because I, just grandma down both the issues. He had been working as a kid. I won't be a fuckin, dollar of tar, attire yourself, lucky some which,

spell on him if he said he was this, he would be that, but he wouldn't know how to act. Being that say all its everything he wanted to be. He just John and it just broke me. Generate it to women, babies, no it's his book, they'll I'll talk to him. Tell time I no you most John Eighty and women two and was on we're not, color and John's books, daddy and stuff, like that.

I myself, Fucker John once said to me: Tyler, embodies everything I hate about this shit town in one convenient package. What he meant was a toddler was the product of everything. He hated a bite abuse, injustice, hopelessness and John was trying to counteract all that by helping Tyler as Tyler. You're talking after John his funeral, he tells me, and Uncle Jimmy confirms that he and John have recently reached the kind of understanding what he wasn't going to charge him anymore for general, upkeep of John's property, cutting the grass pruning the maze cuz, it's kind of like a possibility cause like it was going to be mine one day or something he told us. They wouldn't leave us no bunch of them cash cuz. He said we would appreciate it so he's going to leave us gold and

she and the property is going On our forty acres out there goes up. Book starve. Other tells me there's no way he's giving into the cousin so easily he's already begun. Fighting back

I'm going over to Johns Place, retrieving things he doesn't think John would have wanted his cousins to have stopped there as Tyler puts it, didn't need to get into the wrong hands the police of threatening with Trespassin, but he hasn't let that stop him because it puts the padlock on the front door, but would they don't know? He says that he also has keys to the back. He says he took Johns laptop and then he gathered up every stage of paperwork confined in the entire house, down to birth certificates in deeds and Johns grandfathers, railroad stock papers. He also took Johns vehicles right now tellers, holding at all here at his grandmothers house to protect it from the cousins he's also meeting with a lawyer. He's gonna try and fight the cousins, the official way through the courts. But if that doesn't work, he'll take matters into his own hands.

No Soma is here at last: the sky is over S town is produced by Julie, Snyder and me with editing from our glass. Sarah caning and Neil Drumming Winnie Danger. Filters. Our digital editor, starkly kind is a story. Consultants fact checking in research by Ben, failing Iceland is our direct operations. Lyra Psmith mixes the show and that tyrannies, our technical director, the S town staff, includes Emily Condon, Elise Burger, sent Julie, Whittaker and Kimberly Henderson Music for the shows proposed composed by Daniel. Art, a lot of Negro Road Pollard and that Mckinley Music Supervision by Damien, grief or website is S. Town, podcast, DOT, org lover webs. Special thanks to Andrea morality and sandy honing S. Town is the production of cereal and this american life,

and as long as she keeps yeah

As one.