What’s love got to do with it? Find out in our Valentine’s Day edition of Cosmic Queries when co-host Chuck Nice gets down on his knees and pops your questions to Neil deGrasse Tyson and biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Skip the commercials support star talk on patriarch to listen to every episode, commercial, free. The first is filled with secret cinemas trees, leaving us with many questions to be answered. We find ourselves searching for those answers as the very fabric of space science and society are converging here for the first time. What what do you say recently the domain the brakes daddy a glimpse into grandma. Ass, the brain they get lab. To do this,
but this story you host meal, the grass twice in your personal astrophysicist in my day time hours. I am the director of New York City, Hayden Planetarium, as the American Museum natural history, but by night on your host I'll go with me chuck nice jack what's up crime fighter. This is a special edition of STAR Talk. It's it's our Valentine's day, addition winter, but oh yeah. Oh you, you, you, you ve I now week we could potty handle that our own, but we bring in some expertise, yes, and if we can agree and Helen Fisher she's been on start talk before and it Nook anatomy of love the anatomy alert and because it is rare,
my reared Cover Helen Fisher, you like the world's expert on my love, marriage relationship. You work further, the Kinsey I met there, the Kinsey Institute, the Kinsey Incentive is the famous Kinsey the famous galaxies really studied Lovey did it is very good way before everybody else did he did when excellent, an institution which is sexy, actually steadied about sex? I wasn't, he did love sex. We really broken to study in love. I mean people really thought this was by the supernatural part of the stars, but put my love got to do with people pine for liver, it kill for it and dive already was powerful brain systems on is that lumber sets out what you just said incited sex. We agree that happening. I think if you asked me to go to bed with you and they say no, thank you. You don't kill yourself, but around the world for yourselves hellish Yahoo killed rejection. Well, nobody takes rejection. Well now nobody gets out a level I've
We are all tsars, Mademoiselle, an addiction. You know a very powerfully, wonderful addiction when is going well, probably horrible addiction. What's going poorly but anyway, you say: is it a sex or is it love? I have mentioned this to you before they either we ve evolved three distinctly different brain systems for meeting and reproductive. What was the sex drive? One is the feelings of intense romantic love, and the third is feelings of deep attachment, and I think that one out of three not is now so for this. For this additional start, talk, we're gonna, be we're soliciting wish list of questions from our fan base through various media platforms and all about sort of Valentine's day in Libya, ass in all that goes with it. Yes, I've won, live anecdote just to start off with so in the medical community, there is a disease of lovemaking, which risk collectively called
Ariel diseases, and that is actually named after Venus reeling. Goddess of love, also the it's a form of Venus. Is Van era right. In fact, the russian space missions to Venus we're all Calvin era been era, one Vanessa, tube and era. Three medical doctors said: oh here's a disease because to love making and love and beauty, and all that go with it lets name it after Venus, so they call them. Then aerial diseases, then we astronomers came along is that we need a name of some of an alien who might be from the We're not gonna convent aerials. Now really word is taken exactly where to invent a non legitimate word, and so your venetian, if you're from Venus but you're technically, you should be veneering area. We have an aerials, come family
in its resolution of further social ladder, thing about that, as doctors gave us the term for VD, which actually has the same Valentine's day is VD as well. When you out I think about how shall entire day venereal disease charges in a minute. That's good practice is now. Where are mainly in the name of what you say and has never been a good day for me, neither Emily's working on that day so check. You got some question. We have to see them and how is it? You know, I'm just here too, like direct them to how it goes out of what one these are. Our cosmic where's, of course, like you, said aquareine take it from all over the internet. So, let's start off with Chris re coming to us from Twitter City Red is his handle. Evolution is about the natural selection of traits. How has love evolved and
treats were left behind, so that's a guy. Now, that's a really good, and I wonder if I can add to that. If we think of love is distinctly human, but does not preclude other animals, especially other mammals, having same sentiments and white. Whilst would we say over the love, birds right would analogies our love to what we know or two birds. Three the glaciers really on the table, and let me start with the with the evolution of it and the brain. You know I put people in brain scanners and study the brain circuitry of romantic love efforts
me about your guys. I wouldn't say you know how to talk about your foreplay report. Put your made through the brain. Stem cell really does love your current, getting their brains gear. That's how we started this brain scan and that's what we do. You know you can know every ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake and then, when you sit down and eat tat cake, you feel that joy. In the same way, I can do everything you can know about love and still make the same mistakes everywhere, just to be clear and united. Chocolate cake is really just chocolate yeah sorry, just this year s congregate brain system. It came from other mammals, it came from other birds, all kinds of animals feel attraction to certain creatures and not attraction to others. You know too old, too young to feathers out of order. Anything antlers too big. It says that if you don't want to, I know that the bottom line is we did evolve animals out of this.
I want to say: you're antlers show me your anyway. The bottom line is this: brain system came out of nature, so long before mankind came down out of the trees began to stand up and two feet began to need to form. Monster, whether young and the brain circuitry for romantic love began to evolve to in order to make us focus on one particular individual starts making pro but you can see that in other mammals, politically was a form paramount as you know, you'll see an immediate attraction from of one animal for another, and you know that their going for it. In fact, this is the evolution of love at first sight, the rigid attraction, or is it just when mate? How, during which time did you ask them? We did actually IKEA them, studies it when a female chimpanzee, for example, is in heat and in in esters, show copulate with she almost all of the males, but there's some she won't copulate with and is because she doesn't like em
he's a renowned a whole. The bottom line is these are different systems, and it just the sex drive, will get you out there looking, but then its romantic love, that or attraction and other animals or magnetism animal magnetism that enables you to sift between all these other animals and focus on the one that works for So it's one thing: if they don't sleep with with you, because ITALY, they only one other person, but their sleep with everybody, not you and as bad, yet It's all bad. Just now that the reason the Panthers that they had wherever in San Francisco, that they ve been trying to meet that the reason they didn't mate was because the female, like the mail, you go
yeah? You got this is a major and important point, because no animal on this planet will copulate with anything that comes along. They all have preferences and we evolve that system for preferences and then, of course, when we begin to stand up and two eggs female began to have to carry their babies in their arms instead of on their backs, they began to need somebody help him out, at least while they raise the child through it, and so this brain circuitry for animal attraction evolved into what we call today romantic or anything that was left behind work that way Unifil question nobody's Erasmus sure the ability to share we're, not an animal. He has very well or a jealous animal. You know I mean I was talking last night to some people or Polly by an and they really do have to work very hard to keep their means. Several partners. People actually believe that damn you, you can have several partners, you slanders bravery, swingers are the sex sex. They their swinging for sex.
Polly Amazon is around five years so that their romantic, so they want to keep their deep attachment to one partner. And then have a lot of romance is on the side and they say they can overcome this. This jealousy and they you know that the self deception and all again they were too hard on it. But the bottom line is not we're, not a good animal. We don't share well and because we also cheater, as you know, I mean it's. A big is it's an example: so so any mormon tradition of multiple wives, fry man, then this is your saying there there might be an evolutionary force that makes that not stable cause. They sat in doing it four hundred, so you know. Eighty six percent of World CUP is permitted man to have several wives, but actually wrong. Now I can be, I can tell you- can be a real panic. I think I do
as time. I knew a man and in in islands of new guinea, where three wives, and when I asked him and me, why did he said none here from what you will do that again like us? As I understand it historically the plea that in particular the Middle EAST, as it I've, come to understand it that was initially put forth as protection for women, so that, if you actually get romantic evolved with a woman, she actually you had to. Take care of her exact. So so it was a matter of accountability who you were was also ecological reasons but tat. You know, most societies permit a man to have several wives, but only about five or ten percent of men. In almost all countries, we have several ways. Can you gotta have a lot of money? A lot of cows lot to shape a lot of education, something to get to women to share. You saw their cultures where a woman has multiple husbands only we feel among the very rich of southern Alaska. Traditionally these people lived in these are
tell goes in the men went out fishing area, everybody, the native peoples of Alaska motive. Nevertheless- and great, twenty first century issues as to what degree Dewey what intimacy with one individual individual and what degree do we want a ton of me that great balance between the two is is something we all have to wrestling. What intrigues me is how we cherry pick the animal kingdom If a woman is sharing several men, you know she can have a baby every nine months where The man is several wives he could have. A lot of babies have for me is that one's job sign or more, but the problem with Polygyny Polly, meaning many gaining meaning women- is it that women fight? Sometimes they try to Wasn't each other's children about Bobby problem or keep it there
That is due, you think, combined and we too pretty squabbles demand is human where appear binding animal, but it was also an animal the to eat. We seem to do both and I think one of the great twenty first century issues is to what degree Dewey what intimacy, with one individual individual and what degree do we want a ton of me that great balance between The two is is something we all have to wrestling. What intrigues me is how we cherry pick the animal kingdom to use as examples of how we want to behave I will say, oh and eagles will make for life slant they'll make for life, oh cable, but how about the what's the one that just as sex as often as it can with as many other, all of them all the rest of the rest need us. Nobody needles, even even when we have not found a naked may read, the name. Moran has two sub species. One of them made for life. The other is just
yeah, moors drifters? They bore them. Something with is the prairie vote, yes, amiable Short made out. Maybe that's what I mean is not one of them, and we know the genes of that that the genetics of that and then you take what one of the genes from one of those prairie those that does made for life and put him in A non pair binding miles or something and it'll start to form the pair bunch driven biology to to I'm feeling of attachment is only put detaching gene in the ones that would otherwise be tat ass. It happens that the wandering Jean does that make him wander. Do we haven't really found a wandering Jean? We found a genes in which you attach less There's one gene in which the, if you have no couple their Jean Ear, the most in among men. Actually, it's a study of men from risk. The least for Mr Leland Jean are going to be more promiscuous in the end to genes that are going to be them actually not promiscuous, but instead unstable relationships that are going to lead to promiscuity. So with Chinese, but you know what of security coefficient,
This amount in the sweet dating rounds right, but you know what it's important, even though we have predispositions, you can say noted them. You know, because, we're leaving civilization. That's why you can't you know people can be am quitter bad habits and then some of it is called four men as well as just where we would just to be clear, just to be clear. There not habits if we print genetically predisposed, so they can they can. You can overcome existing genetic predisposition because we live in civilization, where certain conduct is necessary and it was said, and they you just get too many people don't tell sultry and forty two societies and you find it even in cases where you can get your head chapter is not even adultery. There's merk through things there's transgressions of our society, the lights. I mean. I think that
Most of our crimes of passion come because people have been, they ve lost a tool of the glass from darwinian perspective. They ve listened life's greatest prize, which is a major partner. Wow only to rethink something's gonna, you gonna. Let us move on now is for its due estimating stuff man all right. Let's get down to here's, one from the team poet given to us from Twitter, shorter and shorter. Hang the team poet, three hundred, and twenty two I want to know is human love. More than chemical reactions as an interstellar has unrealistic ended. What thanks for the critique inside the quest? This case people miss that moment in interstellar, right where an Hathaway his character says. Maybe paraphrasing love is something that transcends, even right it's love that they're using to communicate with us through basically space and time for this.
Time and space time. Continuum. Love is the language that transcends the space time of itself. Over can tighten the question. How much of your research tells us that love adjust electrochemical in your brain and it's nothing more or less than that? The bottom line is everything is electrical and chemical in your brain I mean everything, don't you think of anything do anything feel anything any kind of DR thirst, conquer all of them. Doesn't premier? The fact remains that we reached on continuing or care, and now my heart is broken, and then we make a whole lot of things out of it, and we may be one of the things I mean all of the love poetry from around the world, and we know our plays poems are novels. Sitcoms valleys are operas r, r are met, saw legends. I mean the world forget points urge that was cut, conspicuously absolutes, I've gotta go ass, wise and that just the spectrum of human emotion, of which love is one
one is actually a drive em it's the bristle was eight pages big drivers love no question about it, in fact that not even the opposite. The opposite of love is indifference. That in fact you can hate love somebody at the same time now that I said I and my parents absolutely why we get the forenoon Your enemy plentiful girlfriend, instead of her husband, was a wonderful marriage, but she said you know what sometimes I hate him, but I always love em, and so these are different brain systems and you can fly from one of the other, its indifference, that's when you are killed when you ve killed the patient, but you know what it's DR, this is not even an emotion comes emanates from brain little factory in the base of the brain tat is lies right next to the brain regions that orchestrate thirst and hunger, because this is so essential to survival and has been for so long
because, if you don't have babies, uniform bourbon, you know pass your dna unto the earth under your your line. So it's just it's basically that the second greatest driving force and in an hour and are being which the first is gotta eat. Yeah. Eating link makes you live another day in our having sex will make you live generic. You want they have another. I mean that's how you really gotta you're right, I think, is relevant, for instance, when the rain president, principally the choir baby, like it. So it's it. Is it reducible in a fundamental way too? I I came up with three in the less so here's the there's their sex is food, sex and shelter. We were three things that we need for our survival, and so we ought to be pretty. Majestic and the acquisition of those three have selling and also, if you don't never seen it. But he kill themselves when they couldn't get something to eat.
But I certainly seen people kill themselves when they couldn't get a particular sweet. I couldn't get them out there. You go around me. My garage murdering somebody for bread in the right place when it is acting by your carrier, won't kill yourself. You kill somebody else and that's why you're, ok, there's a journals. Our jails, ass, much were filled with people who have crimes committed a crime of passion, and this is a powerful brain systems. What people will do for love is out of this world and particularly around right now. You know I'm than chief scientific advisers matched I come, and between the day after Christmas and Valentine's day, the amount of people going on that site and other sites increases everywhere from thirty two sixty percent. This is the time this is the season for love. Season I need a good looking for it when Startalk returns will be back with Helen Fisher, then she'll be advising us with answers to all the questions you had on. Why we're so depressed,
browser its varied. Hey. I've got no secret for you When I consider singing all of the ads on this shell Just one way to get out a hearing there go to patriarch. Since last, star talk and supporters at the five dollar level or higher to listen the star talk ad free, you can download all current episodes into your favorite park has player and ever hear another commercial on star talk ever again, you will definitely not after hear me sing. If you support us at patriarch dot com last talk radio I mean I'm just sing. I mean just saying.
The future of space and the secrets of our planet reveal star, This is our talk. Him we're back with Chuck NICE Microbial Sir Ellen Fisher expert extraordinaire on matchmaking and how to keep a match. Why why why relationships and how they began in the first place? And you you were consulted, we were founded consoling to match our com is that right started in two thousand and five so earlier they started and ninety ninety five are going to use. Seven president
we make, I seem to be the the importance of the company of the company area are currently seems to be the institutional memory. At this point, we gotta so check what questions you have called from our our listening, so you know I I recognize this handle as somebody I know on Twitter, so I figure out go hidden. Read this. This is from Ben makes tv and he wants to know this there's! No one love me! Oh yeah, and I'm I'm I'm gonna. It's because you pleasure you saw publicly on the train of ideas can bring gap. That ban can forgive deploring. Let me let me broaden the question how in and ask these there's someone for everyone, so
there is, then the person who can't find love is not looking hard enough and not looking hard enough. You, you know. If you go on these dating site, it does require some work. First of all, he's probably to pick a in a lawyers, under his guns were confirmed for four. Let me know when in doubt lower your standard is. This advice is giving us Alan. I got your book here, the anatomy and loved you telling us reason to say as a huge part of the brain. Was as to overlook the negative and focus on the positive. Do it all the time, and we want to when you, but one of the problems meaning people online is you know so little about them. When you start out that you over you know you overweight, those few things that you No, no! That's why you and you break it up before you, the more you get to know somebody them we like them. You gotta give people the chance in. Oh, I see now that is a chemical thing, because an approach gonna get in trouble. If I say this,
The same can edit this drug? Ok, here's the truth! I have often sat and said to myself why, after eighteen years of marriage, they're. Ok, no protection from himself a pronounced faded away from a microphone table in scale as possible. Name in love, long term? We have. I and my colleagues have put dumb seventy people into this, who were married an average of twenty one years of your mind, the game, I'm still love. That's point back away from the MIKE juggle you're right. I said ok, but I'm still in love. I mean, however, in old now. Listen to me, don't you know what listen, if I were to put it down on paper? I should not be in love them. I should
on railways snowy, I should not be the woman, I love her to death and there's nothing. You can do that's wrong and if I were to actually go and see all this stuff there? I probably would be like now like that? No, I ll go so if you, if you, if you dickens, I would like to start my release nothing here, but in total, with Workin, for God, it's the best thing ever. Let me so hellenes and leave Nor do we want to deceive us talk. You are lying two years where we know here is in love with your wife. I wouldn't have. However, looking the negative ended a huge part of the brain. It enables you to do that and bless it. So so, but let me let me give me come into backdoor there. If you do have a list of what you like someone and then you put it on one of these websites, and then you find someone that matches it. The premises that you're that's your soul mate.
Truck is saying, is if you laid out the inventory, if you laid out the portfolio of then no He wouldn't never met her in this way. I would never met her this when I read that there are real, no, you wouldn't matter, but why would meter, there's things about that woman, the you really like that ring deep into one of love map? What of it websites that are matching people up, inciting enticing them in these very well. What is it farm family dad kilometers darker farmers can made other farmers, meat and meat with other farm lifestyles, so that you can understand that the bottom line is that these are not dating services. These are introducing services. The
We true algorithm is your own human brain, so the faster you can get out meet the guy or girl in the bar is away in a street. There is just giving you a whole range of people, and then you got to do the job. We can give you the people, but you gotta do the job and that's what's really thrilling. Would you agree that if you pre proof, if you prescribe what you think you're going to be attractive to, that is greatly restricting your options, the partner country at least Have any there's a potential through their right? I learnt its lesson. Staying at home and looking for somebody on the couch is certainly gonna. Do much for your options. I mean environment, as you know, people. Do you mean through your friends? How? Maybe you made it work? How many people do you mean when you request the Finnish there and you run through all that and then are you going to meet people now? Thank you.
Dating service is introducing services, receive you a much broader range, then than we have ever had in all of our agreeing, where even the ones that specify that cause there's J date for drivers and written lately, they ve there's like a white people. Why why people me, but why, they really have a hard time like people me to which I told her friend, how could I haven't we? The white girl on black people, may not reason is that do do why people actually prom finding other. Why people in a country that the apparent all these. Why people live in Detroit? That's that. But that is why I don't know where I can find it and why prevented a web servers and this meeting? me many more people on these Dana's eyes than we ever do through all of his plus throughout your life, and we ve got things like our time, which is for people over fifty men. I can't stand in a buyer and have the perfect
right by your cell yourself, short their Helen right. Now you have my support. One of the court's you re very, the total through which we told our boy here get out there and how to carry out the House get out two thousand men right. As the answer to your question, I will keep my way, which is just a bizarre. The round that ran out their question should someone change himself to be more attractive. Other people should they got through a make over. They change their hair, should they other than the minimum hygiene that we expect in society totally. Do that, if their desperate for love, let me Jenny Wren, then, if they find that person to that person fall in love with what they create for themselves. It is not going to fall in love with what we created for no matter what, even if somebody fits somewhat within Europe,
Matthew overlook what doesn't said a new focus on what you do so well, you're, not merely here s. What it is. We have this We evolve as small children, we grove and we if we create a list, the unconscious list of what we're looking for a partner. And then you see the perfect person at the perfect time and if it pretty much in your love map- and you get rid of these me, what you what you don't like and you just focus on what you do it. So that's that's good, but what was that other? You know I'm saying that you know what you're saying makes a lot of sense. Should you change yourself right now and on the one hand, the answer is no I'm a man because don't worry she's gonna do there, do you have to work in the guard and be yourself man, because what
Will you, whoever you are, that is not what you are going to be in two year is a good day for US girls. You will have a lower level dialogue did. Let me tell you I've. I have a friend that I saw has been twenty years since we ve seen each other, and we are we got to hang out. I was in Philadelphia I know him soon southern twenty years, and it is your place. It's hometown, at the end of the night he was like? Well may you you really have any really had he's, not marry a cook he's just me did you change falsely now them marry them gay ass, the most thing, because I think you need to change to listen if his network in your mother, how to make some changes, but I wouldn't certainly make any changes visible. We it's very hard to make changes in personality. You can be somebody else, but it's
ironing out of carriages and addressing of energy at all times, and as it turns out, you know you turn off by being who you are? You will turn off some people, but when you find the right one that presents gonna really love you, so I wouldn't make huge changes. Sure you, you know you can you can change your hair and, and stop swearing, earth or in a red a little bit more, so that a better economy, comfort, change scenario that might make the other person comfort good without Billy, totally and utterly Nelson, which exemplify ok this prize, you don't like of you and you know you can work on that. Do you know I should say she's going to work on your turn. Oh you receive an exquisite. Let's say let us move and do their work till you know women always scramble intimate to. Please me could break. We don't know that. That's what you're doing for us. You disappear that way, and we think I, while I really like that, not knowing that you spent five hours crew
That nominal just sitting down doesn't it was a very profound which you just because that is the difference between what makes a woman appreciate you, because you noticed what she did. You just gave the true male perspective, which is where appreciative of it. We just think, like wow it's you. This is how you work with we're completely deliberately oblivious thing. We will actually took effort in time to make everyone. It looks that way. You're just like Ok, we're we're idiots re. We can. I know I am for me, and I don't think you're idiots, Blida Yang yeah, that I'll keep to myself seven, and actually we all right all right here we got. This is Ray come to us from Twitter as well, It has a very simple says, Saint question, but I think it's quite an in depth when you look at it, why does love hurt
oh boy, oh yes, but I gotta say: that's that's pretty prolific. What you just said asked it really. So we ve put a lot. People into a scanner had just been dumped and the brain regions that become active when you bid, then dumped is three brain regions linked with intense craving a brain region link with physical pain, physical pay, physical pain, a brain region and actually aspirin helps when you're rejected in love with as an academic article and then also anxiety. That goes along with the physical pain and you're, also brain regions linked with trying to figure out what went wrong that caused the benefits. What happened here and I think so the brain is in overdrive. It is in the eating a terrible state. This is why we have all these crimes of passion. You know, and why does it in her because you ve lost once I said I, you know life's greatest prize a maiden partner, you, you lost the ability to pass your dna onto eternity. Nature overdo it to be
We are still only really really suffered terribly and is basically two stages of getting rejected. The first is protest. You just try to win the present back you're trying to seduce you try to threaten you, you'll try to make I'm jealous and all that and then slip into this incredible depression? Unless you get them back, then they again, in which case you slip into indifference like. Why did I ever once you what works, and what do I keep them? you heard that other people say that, yes, you read about it charges, but I think two things a real part of the brain centre. There was once a question about a big part of the brain become incredibly overactive. You know you can't each can't sleep, you can't stop crying disruptive to your human physiology, yes, and to your social since these are, is an actual set. Its actual so, and you can say from being rejected for don't tell me a broken heart. You die from heart attacks and strokes, so the stress of Eritrea.
Break it. S actually manifests itself sit physically, you end of dying of a stroke or how to turn out as a driver. Don't mean system in the beginning, negligible that energy and focus and motivation and craving and then after why you can't get em you finally give up and you slip into a sort of a profound abduction. Ok, as a corollary to this, there are people who are in love with people they ve never met. Yes, isn't so now, are they they're? Not that practicing do not them the mating partner that they got to know intimately, but nonetheless the sentimental there it's a crash. I must largely teenagers, but it can be somebody at work. You don't ever dare come close to budget Are you. You feel that it'll go home grown agree with a teenager thing. Is that more women? And when you get older, it's the male stalker of the of the women of the world? men, volume of faster than women? Do they fall of more often than women do when they meet somebody that they like they want to introduce them to friends and family sooner men, what a move
in sooner. Men have more intimate conversations with their wives and women do with their husbands, gives women have their intimate conversations with their girlfriends and manner two and a half times more likely to kill themselves when our relationship is over so and are the more while some amazing Just to be clear, I think we're we were more likely to commit suicide in all categories. Apparently, I think so, yes on the site, it out right right, sunlight, a delicate managers complete We must stop, and also to say it's a bunch of love pussies what it comes down to get em again. Women are pretty bad. Believe me, I've had my my gouges. So ok, so we ve establish, It's it's real on pain of Morocco is not imagine Albania just get over it. Does I break into wagons and get over exactly is in effect a wii. Later. You can't remember any physical pain in your tooth, but a week later, you're still really suffering from romantic rejection. So that's baggage. I think that several sherry baggage Zuri true to the fact that
they say for every for every year- you together it takes six months to get over. I dont know the that's interesting. Yeah they say so for ever, if you're too good, at some point- they would take longer than your life. Your actual life expect exactly overly depend on who you are or what you're other alternatives. How much you invested in it? I won't you, there's gonna, be many forces in how you get over it and it's not your fault, the couch together, because they know to take. The train saw a when it split up. Didn't bother dogs, coptic ones our talk continues. More of our Valentines edition of cosmic worries
the future of space and the secrets of our planet reveal star, die, we're back on startup, Valentine's day addition retirement beauty and all that goes with that. We need help. We got Helen Fisher she's, like a veteran of the show here, thanks what you do you want. So many talk shows what we want hours to be your favorite
there is already a miser welders. Finally, somebody emits don't tell us that we do want to show you where questions from the internet s ideal would be less jump right back on this Melissa Mccurdy from Facebook says, is the state of being in love, considered mental illness or chemical imbalance. In other words, are you crazy to be love with somebody. I don't think so I mean is that you're gonna do is the most important thing we do with allies, but you are a little crazy. I mean you, you can't eat, you can sleep, you forget your coat you in order to get to work. You forget to feed the cat, you don't call your mother obsessed, it's an obsession, rights or wars on account of some kind of mental disorder because you're not like it's a natural, DR, it's a natural obsession. In fact, I think that all of the chemical addictions hijack this basic brain system that evolved for
natural craving. So we're trying to actually to say to the medical community that there is a very positive addiction when it's going well and probably Harbin negative addiction what's going poorly, but it is an addiction addiction centres become activated and I want to call it. A metal doesn't like an album resource as it is. Who is there any of Robert Robert Palmer? Tom is well face it during the debate. To look at the models has on applying lips. I would not like to see what you really already hawk jets by those thousand early MTV video, for my guys, that was like our poets and set it for centuries, I'm in the oldest laboratories over four thousand years old, and this describing love exactly the way we describe it today, right location, even though it disrupts our normal functioning, our responsible functioning as members of society because of its frequency among we, human
you're, not going to say, is essential purpose and inoculated disorder. We're gonna, say it's it's something with it. It's like them today, where they have drugs living with this disease rights. Courage, live, will teach us how to live with our love. That's what you're saying I would basically say that an awful lot of people be happy. Believe what they love me where people have madly in love, think of nothing else. They don't care if they forget to feed the cat they're just happy happy. Really I mean therapies If its agenda that we know what you just did, their you'd actually described the textbook case scenario for a person addicted drugs. I don't care about anything. I don't care for feed the care that there is a big difference as many big differences there I mean what you know. The right love affair is going to give you a tremendous pleasures. Gonna give you optimism, it's gonna give you hope. I mean you drive Doberman system up when your madly in love, you get energy focus motivation. You know when you take drugs, you not getting necessarily
and by the way the drugs gonna began to Morrow morning when you wake up its children hardy money. Tomorrow morning you mean nine o clock at night sounds good. That's that's professionally, for there are outside the upside of this wonderful addiction, fundamental contribution to society, pianissimo, ok, All right, we gotta here with a little move, move on up. This is Joe patent Gill for important Portland. Oregon coming to us through Facebook might write this biologically. How does the love of a pet differ from the love of a person or love of an object mean a person's love of a pact, not a pencil over the person, not love of a person for, even though that's a very ancient I'd like to know about that knowledge about it up.
Like you know. I don't know she studies nonhuman animals, I now my dear because you have to understand duskier me every day you keep talking, I put in your machine. I think my dog ones to bang me there's a constellation of traits that link with feelings. Permission, to use that word in that way. For me, oh, I think constant, yes, good end among those things are the drive to actually have sex with the person, and you really don't. Most people want have sex with a dog, something you have many of the traits linked with romantic love. I mean the obsession, the focus, the Euro, you think you're dogs, the best looking dog and all university. Only dollar, that's a lie that counted setter, etc. So it has some of the characteristics of intense romantic love and feelings of deep attachment that second brain system, but you don't have any of these sex sexual things and it's the intimacy or physical, intimacy s,
It's that apart. Yes, ok, so so here's the fall in love with your small baby to and in a u can fall in love with all kinds of things, but yes that sexual component, that's miss form over the toaster yeah yeah. I just don't have sex there'll, be hard, where it so, I have a question in animal. Frontier dogs were basically bread for their loyalty to humans, among other property, and so you know, there's an old saying, be the person who your door thanks, you are how, under you, don't think you're the greatest thing ever you calm, no matter what
nay, the dog had no mandate that you are the best person there ever was to happen to them. So that might might fool you into thinking that this is a relationship and the person appreciate you for who in what you are now cats, not so much on my so. Do we have data to show that people have stronger relationships with a dark than they do with their case because of the dog is reciprocal in its in its? Yes, yes, and in fact, and in other college, chick bade him in and a man at the door walking down the street down, picks up my girls.
If his walk along with a cannot love dogs, the whole movie with that title, love doggies, is basically advertising that he can take something. That's a pretty low boy, maybe he's good meeting material is actually that data takes up the poor, but you know dogs or peer binding animals. Naturally, only three percent of mammals form appear, but to really young and all the while wolves faxes, coyotes dingoes than you know, and dogs form turbines and the right to travel in packs with what we do, but they will now be one female who are they really bare and everybody else a helper? The nest? Oh, oh, oh so tat, not one male mating, multiple, like a pride of lies, not in fact these acts as a genuine, so that all correctly so this is why we ban so easily with them is a matter of fact. Anthropologists think that its dogs, it picked the body. Thus inviolate along with us,
and left of food. By very well We do not start on cosmos. We did like a whole episode in its title and they will shall become shepherd. Well, you know dog, sir. I mean it's Andrea's poetic. She got the bears a poetry side of her that contributes to the scripting citizens where they came from. So it's ok so that real, oh yeah, I get Israel and if we create a lot of the oxytocin you know the brain system for attachment is the oxytocin system in the brain. I think what people, men and women get out of their relationship with their dogs are the hugging and touching and everything in order that dries up the oxytocin system in the brain, linked with fuel
of attachment? Attach? Oh, yes, and it probably is the same in the dog, but it certainly in that feeling any human being. So you know, as you put your arm around somebody's, you hold hands with them, as you hugged them, as you learn to sleep in their arms you're. Driving up this ox utopian system and and and and it's a feel, good chemical, no question about it, I don't need you. I got my ex oxytocin pills. Need you for nothing going amendment just don't cross it up and snorted We have five minutes left we're going into like round lightning were knows, no wonder the luxury of long and alarming answers to try to get through the list, because we have to protect your multiple pages, a question you I've got a test, my bell good there. It is okay. So if you're gonna, if sound by answers, pretend you're on the evening news and have two minutes to give your entire interview. Ok, you ready gently
we Clark on Twitter, I says: what's the science behind attraction, am I pre programmed to be attracted to certain traits or is attraction, a learned behaviour? Let it go for it. It's not alone. Behavior, I made some of it is learned, but chemically were drawn to certain people rather than others. I've figured out when people say we have chemistry. I understand what that means now took to reopen about. Yes, you we're gonna, be naturally drawn to some people rather than others, based basically because of body chemistry body chemistry, the Tokyo. I think, if I ask you go and go next, this from Dan markings on Facebook wants to know this. Its evolution favours individuals who seek out the strongest and the best suit it made to pass on their genes. Is there a biological advantage to falling in love over choosing the most advantageous partner? Jean wise, no insult intended to my beloved? who care I damn there you go. So yes, that's a pretty clean question. So, if you just want to propagate the survival
He picked a person and then you do that. Why doesn't what's that got to do with it? Why do we fallen? what a guy who looks like the penguin from bad man any not rich and yours supermodel? How does that that has not happened? To have, and basically ever thank you for your eyes. Penguins go for penguins and may we didn't, we didn't tend to fall over somebody of them. The same socio economic background seems a level of intelligence, same general, level of good looks and religious and social values. We do don't we, on the people to some extent like ourselves, that's environmental, of course you do religion that you're born into is you're born into a yes excite and so socio economic. Those of people you hang out with, I do think you know, we very novelty seeking and risk taking over people like themselves. People were very Traditional people like themselves, however, accept some of the good stories ever told where people falling in love. Who were completely not that aim anything
Romeo and Juliet night to two and in and Tailoring Bill Clinton I mean here there is high testosterone bill is, I think I estrogen maps well, so I can accept the blanket statement the people tat we get statistically perhaps, but as an exception to that rule, so extraordinary. So something I'd like to be a lesson to us all is always exceptions where an animal, that's flexible, no question an environment always plays a role here. We go right. That was a good one, quick it without this one is for Doktor Thyssen from joy, green on Facebook, Doktor Thyssen. My question revolves around the following: tough, How can an average everyday citizens get others to fall in love with science
ooh. Looking joy, green outside the bar sat back outside the body team up with Pelon here to find out, can you fall in love with things that are not other members every species? Can you format with an idea? Prince became a full, see, circulate a pursuit. People who are? various hobbyist, you did the only word you say that their love with their craft. I agree with you. These are basic all purpose systems in the brain. You got your Archie oxy saint. Well, that's a double system when you fall in love, is the oxytocin system with feelings of detachment, but sure these are you know the attachment system in the brain you can be attached to a motorcycle. You can be. Your are the same chemicals being exe,
when you're, when you're waxing you're motorcycles are there on lesser extent? How can there be measured releases of these in a way I say, doubled me like, for instance, you do cocaine. Your brain floods would open the absolutely sold as absolutely and you can follow. DORA, we cocaine and last question no love it. Just don't have one more question earlier one per year where we go from the more Mo Dave on Google Plus, as is checked, titty healthy, and what are the effects of chastity Grove reaches out to each is on that's an awesome cop out answer either you learn a huge amount about somebody when you, when you make love to them and it it triggers the brain, circuitry fur, romantic love, it triggers them of the brain circuitry for attachment and dries up the testosterone system so that you want more sex with them, but I can tell I can to have sex and fall in love, and I can tell you is: if you ever gene for chastity
you didn't inherited, vary in their eyes. This has room. Star talk very got this husbands. Our talk the Valentine's day. Addition, the video this morning to Jack hell of future. Thanks for helping us feel these questions, I think, has always I'm your personal astrophysicist pleading to keep looking like Galileo job, the orange We should listen. The star talk, commercial, free, joint star, talk, I'm patriarch for as little as five dollars per month and the ads will disappear, learn more at patriarch dot. Coms. Last star talk, radio,
Transcript generated on 2020-01-25.