« Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain

Dealing With Adults

2020-07-23

As we grow up, our relationships with adults and “authority figures” can be complicated, intimidating, and confusing. In this episode, Emma discusses the types of relationships we have with the adults in our lives, how to effectively communicate with them, how to build strong and trusting relationships with parents, and everything in between.

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rambles gun higher. Buddy welcome to anything goes. This is where this is weird. Let me set the scene. I like two legs. the scene for you guys are. You know what it looks like one hour. Warnings have maybe you picture in your head or not that's up to you it's midnight when I'm According this, this is so different. I normally record these at like eight a dot m, but guess what today was fucking shitty, actually wasn't. That's it wasn't a bad day at all, but today was like not that kind of day. I was having a really lazy day today, like I woke up pretty early just felt tired and Headache II. It is like whatever and then I just like, couldn't be productive all day, and then I took a nap.
But then after my now I was like you know what. Yes, it's like eight p m, but. I'm just gonna get everything done now, but I was De earlier than the day in fuck it you know what I mean, and now I feel so much better because they got everything done. Even Oh it's late at night, like I still got everything done that I want to get done. It's all about adapt. Baby, okay, so I adapted and now here we are in its late and am recording this, and I kind of an interesting topic today that. I don't know I don't know, I gotta know home to be able to look. I don't know, I won't be able to talk about this for a long time. I hope so we'll see.
But this is actually an idea that my dad gave me today and I thought his kind good. I want to talk about being like a teen, and how do you interact with get along with adults. Do things really interesting is growing up there, so many different types of kids right like in How many different types of kids in you know, ways that they were raised and I've Is it there's so many different ways that kid's deal with adults? Some good and some being bad, and now that I'm almost, a dull myself, I mean I am technically but like I'm also saw a teen so whatever, but now that I'm gonna almost an adult fully, like I feel like I'm starting Billy, I'm in the middle ground rifling. I understand both sides and I feel egg. This is something that my somebody will may need advice on so.
For starters ever talk about something really interesting, that the last two years. I've been kind of realizing and it's put a lot of things into perspective for me and I don't need to get misconstrued, but I was going to do my I think it's so interesting and I want to know if you guys can relate when you're like a kid you think of adults as being like perfect, almost even if there are very far from it in all of them are. but you know their authority figures and you look at them as such, so you know your family member is your parents, your teachers, you give them all as like. These perfect role models almost. When, in reality,. That's all an illusion and when you grow up, you start to see through it. I think a sort of communities they? Probably fourteen and. I started to learn more about things about the aid.
it's in my life and they kind of started to lift, and I started to realize, like oh my god, like adults, have leg almost dirty. secrets. You know I mean that kid. Dont know about until they get older, whether that's like a teacher, they got fired. Nobody knew why and then later you find out why or whether it's like a fair, member and you find out a secret about a family member, whether its leg in their past, like even in their present, like you, find out about all of the different flaws of these adults. And in addition, you start to understand him- When's, better and are to become aware of. Like adults flaws, you know where their flawed in the way that their wired innocence, for example, Now that I'm older, if, like I'm,
an argument with my parents or something or there's like kind of Vienna Legal Little tense moments or something, and if my parents. Do something wrong like I will confront them and be like bad was rude or like tat was wrong or like whatever and as a key. You just kind of assume that everything that every adult does is what is supposed to be done. Is there an adult there and authority figure but in actuality there, a human just like everyone, rules and, if anything, there, just big babies. Adults are just big babies, but it's so interesting how the older get the more you, sir, to realise that age does, in it kind of starts to disappear. Almost it's like you could mean a thirty year old, A hundred times wiser and be no better
a person, then maybe some seventy year old vice versa, but like it's about you, I've experience it's about who they, as a person and like age is kind of disappears and innate. Like some people, Never mature. Some people behave like a fucking frat boy until their fifty you don't mean and other people, become a responsible adults, you know, don't mean not. The frat boys are sometimes possible adults, I'm not gonna judge all, but I am, I know a few frat boys from my high school think they're. I think putting deploy pretty cool. Zira now by going all crazies, are now I just drink water? said a coffee that was so weird, I'm so the sitting sitting here my coffee, I think Other thing I mean that's kind of enough that they use
where I'm going at that, it's so interesting how the order you get the more you start to realise that adults are perfect. You know which colonel leads me to my next thing, which is more relating to parents. There is a lot of things that I think I was angry of my parents for as a kid like, if they ve made mistakes. you know cause as their normal fucking human beings. They made mistakes right and I to be so mad at my parents, for the mistake They ve made whether its things that they have said that her, my feeling, These or it was things that they did, it seems Inconsiderate to me at the time. Don't here, I let my parents, but again these this happened. It's normal just recently, I had this realization where I was like: ok, I'm only my parents to an unrealistic standard
Parents. Are human beings not like These theories role models, their normal human beings and they deserve to be forgiven I always leg. Will you guys are made and so you have to be perfect and raise me perfectly and never fuck up and never hurt my feelings never do something that inconsiderate considering was Where my head was that I was like you guys, have no room to fuck up but, as I grew up, I realise, and with in life really the past month? I realize they Are humans they think about things, normal brains. They aren't going to be perfect. All the time, unlike its natural, did, up, and especially when you're a parent like a mad. They mean the responsibility. It is like insane and it's impossible
not to mess up here and there you can, nobody is the perfect parent, but I just never thought of it like that. I was always like. No parents are supposed to be perfect. That is not true, and so just recently I've, like forgiving my parents for some things, that they did, that I'd bug me in the past I mean I went through my parents, we went through a divorce and I was younger and there was things like that. That upset me and just breathe. I've been able to be like okay. I always thought that this divorce was like all about me. I mean not really but, like I always thought about how it affected me. I never thought about how it affected them. Of course, those brilliant emotionally turbulent time. I mean we're through it and we have a great thing going now by leg. You know those were properly really tough times.
For them as well- and I dislike never thought about that, and so you know anything they may have done while trying to work through that that that has bothered me. That's not their fault, They were going through their own thing and they were still really young. I mean they're really merrily like what mid thirties. Maybe early, They were young. That's only like. Fifteen years older than me. That's not that much I mean it is, but it's not you know, and so I finally forgiven them for things. You know, unlike stopped, holding them to such a crazy standard and if they like, do something that upsets me like. I am allow more understanding now and I'm like you know I like I'm going. Give them room to. You know, learn and grow just like they have done for me as their child, but I also need to give them that space
You know I'm saying in that opportunity because there growing every day just like I am you know, and I do think that something really interesting that I've never thought about. I just think it's important to do your best to Be forgiving with your parents, I mean obviously when its necessary there's, obviously situations where, like there's, you know where it said: that's a larger problem, but I'm talking about things that are more harmless, not invalidating anyone's feelings, including my own, because you know even Some things that are technically harmless, these I've cause me sum up said that has lasted me. Some time and so like I'm, not invalidating mappen unto saying that coming to terms those things.
and learn learning how to forgive especially leg with parents is really important if it's possible and having a conversation with them. So I dont like going to the harshest our big shocker known surprise, probably because I don't think anybody really like going to the grocery store actually mean Some people do, but I dont. So, let's talk about me. I love thrive market because thrive market delivers organic and sustainable. fisheries and more right to your door. The process is super simple. You take a quick quiz where they ask you what your dietary interests. Are. And I'll show you products that are right for you. I can guarantee ones you try through market you'll love it when you sign up for a thrive market membership. It also aids one free for somebody and need, for example, a low income families.
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come such Emma joined today and you'll get up to twenty dollars in shopping credit towards your first order. That's t age. Are I ve market dot com, slash Emma to start your risk free membership and get up to twenty dollars for different order? That's thrive, market dotcom, Slash Emma! Thank you! Throw market love, ya the moves to move on, I think, speaking of parents. I want to talk about and give some advice if I can on how to have a better relationship with your parents. When it comes the communication, I the communication can be really tough with parents and I've. I've been really blast in them. I've really great communication with my parents because number one I'm just an open bug with pretty much everybody I mean anybody is really close to me and my life's net knows that, like I do not shut up about everything,
a pretty open book like I us talk about just about this very few things I won't talk about, but you know some people don't fills comfortable doing that in in that super normal, but I want to try to give some advice on how to learn to communicate more of your parents. I think that a lot of parents are actually uncomfortable with the thought of communicating with them with their child themselves, like. I think that a lot of parents actually art, are terrified of that and uncomfortable by that which is interesting to me. But I think that with everything in life that's uncomfortable, it won't be uncomfortable forever. You just have to push through the uncomfortable times. I think that. making it a priority in your day to day life, especially when you live at home. To be telling parents about how your day actually was an talking about.
things in your life that you're interested in the you care about with your parents. Instead, it has been like. yeah my day was good and then walking upstairs in, like not talking to your parents. For the rest of the day, making that effort to talk to your parents and have conversations with them even if it's uncomfortable and not just dismissing, that is something- is not important. Having a close relationship with your parents, if possible
is something that's important and if you know it's, the only issue with it is that it's uncomfortable that something that can be worked through, but you just have to make it a priority to have those conversations that are uncomfortable, you know, and to tell your parents things that you don't want to tell them sometimes and let's say you're, afraid of judgment right, you're, afraid of your parents, judging you about something, but you want to tell them. This is what I would do. I would say you tell your parents about whatever your to being judged on and then, if they start to judge you and you sense that Billig listen. I would really appreciate it if I could talk to you and communicate with you with no judgment, because I want to have a close relationship with you,
and I want to feel safe to be able to tell you anything and everything that I'm doing and that I care about, and then I'm thinking, but if you are going to be judging me, that I don't feel safe to do that. And that's not what I want like. I want to bat feel safe to do that. So I really appreciate it. If you could give me advice or criticism, that's constructive in a way that non judgmental, because I don't think I'm gonna feel safe to tell you these things moving forward. If I'm just going to be judged for it and honestly, I can guarantee, if you told apparent that they would be like oh shit there right, that's not right, I mean obviously every sitting
It is different, but you know I think, for a lot of people that would really change the dynamic. I really do having a good relationship with the adults in your life takes practice, it's not going to come over night you're, not going to wake up one day and it's like not going to be weird talking to your family, about, like you, know the drama going on at school or like who you have a crush on, or you know, but ever but here's the thing that I think is so special about it. If you, can find a way to have a very open communication with your parents. It's going to help with the trust in the freedom that you'll have
Because I think of big reason why a lot of parents are really protective or really controlling of their kids is because they feel, like they don't know. What's going on in their kids lives, they feel outcomes Oh they're, like I don't even know my kid so fuck now I'm not knocking. Let he'd sleep over a house cause. I don't even know Germany is for one and four too. I dont trust my kid, because I don't have that relationship with my kid. So always was a trust, my child, to not do something stupid. If I don't even know who they are, if you can build a relationship where there's honesty in trust, it's going to, so much healthier and so much less controlling, but that has to form through practice it's and it's not going to happen overnight, but that's the benefit of growing that relationship. The whole thing is going to be so much healthier and you're going to
summer fun because you're going to be able to like you know, have sleepover like. I know some parents really strict and won't let their kids have sleepovers that you might gain that privilege of being able to have sleepovers. If you gain that trust with your parents, because they're going to trust that you are not lying to them or that you are going to be smart and that you're not going to go. Do some dumb shit right there trust in you and also being honest about sorry, being honest about what you're doing you know they mean being transparent. Being like listen, I'm Going to this birthday party and like there's gonna, be boys there or there's gonna be girls. Like whatever, if, like your parents, are protective about that stuff like being transparent, living like listen.
I'm not going to do anything stupid whatever being transparent and honest and then proving that to them right So, let's say: ok, let's say you're going to a party is going to be our goal there and your leg: hey, I'm goin on his part It is going to be alcohol there, I'm not going to participate. I just wanted to let you know I'll be home at this time. Is that okay- they're like and we don't know like. We don't want you to get into something you like trust me, I'm going to prove it to you and I'm not going to participate. You go to the party, you don't participate, you come home and you're. Clearly you clearly didn't participate now you have a little token trust in your parents, because you prove to them that you keep your word. Ok, now they're gonna be leg. Ok will next time are our baby wants to go to a party. We now trust that they are going to do so.
Stupid because they have proven to us that they don't that you know I'm saying in there, we can trust them in that weaken. Rely on their word, just something desolated. He said for that for sure. And we're done with parents. For now I mean a definite got some questions about it, but I don't want to talk about relationships with adults in like Other settings are getting schools a great example. Teachers and authority figures. That way,. Can be a real aid, can be a tough one like over me. I kind of a tough time dealing with my teachers, because I felt they had this power. Rip going on. Sometimes that was like that. Actually end up making them really disrespectful in a way they like was in fair, and I know that it's like kind of a little bit controversy. Will they be leg?
to be holding adults accountable for being assholes, but I mean there's something to be said for it: leg, teachers and a dog since up get away with being assholes, because their adults in York a kid. But if you I feel being disrespected by an adult in you're a kid stand up for yourself. Ok, if you school- and I remember I had this one teacher- that leg was so fucking rude to, I would just like single me: in class and, like kind of Bali me a little bit, and I remember one time I wonderingly clapped back and I was leg. Why do you single me out? I don't exactly remember this Craig. There really was kind of traumatized border for me and I literally bogged down in my memory, but I kind of put them in their place. Fer. You know. Singling me out may know that you're not supposed to do that. You're nuts was attired back to a teacher Bogota. But if you're disrespected leg by anyone community
that respectfully and being like. Hey you're, like kind of singly me out here and kind of hurting me feelings. This is kind of not fair, even though their and adult you still we have the right to communicate that and if they don't respect that their assholes, but I can guarantee that something, a teacher and dealing damn, I thought you would take a very very mean person and adult too, like not take something from that and take you know, learn a lesson from type become confrontation. So, as you guys know, my cats are very important to me. They are my children there, my best friends, I spend a lot of time with them and as much as I love my cats
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or anything in the stern answering questions. Let me go through and find some funny fun, fun and funny ones. First question I got: how do I try to act mature without being cringe? I dont think that you need to act mature to be honest like. I never really think that anybody should act a certain way. I filling you know you should feel free to it. Act exactly how you act in you, don't need to leg. Put on a front. I think that things be I'm cringe e when people are being themselves, I've noticed that actually a lot you know I've I've seen that a lot like even on Tik Tok, for example, I give somebody's clearly kind of acting like you can tell so he's themselves. Okay and like maybe they're trying to be funny or they're trying to be like loud and outgoing but leg you can kind of Talbot there's like I'm missing piece like it, doesn't really feel genuine areas Chris
gee a little bit cause you're like at this person not being themselves in its showing, and I think that that's why, like maybe you acting mature, maybe you cringe a little bit because you're not being yourself, so don't you don't need to act, mature, just act like yourself. If anything that is more mature than acting mature because I'm acting like you're, something else is not that's, not the right idea. You know what I mean so just be yourself. Ok next, somebody ass: how to talk to your parents about your relationships with your significant others when they aren't supportive of them. say not supportive. I mean there's a lot of ways I mean. I know some parents are like against against dating in some parents, just don't like its peoples. Living in others I mean both of those are common, I'm no touch on both. So if your parent,
Ok with dating this is Tough one because I feel egg You're living under your parents, roof there like a fine line like obviously. You know you deserve to experience those things at a young age, and I don't think there's anything I personally know Is anything wrong with dating when you're really young? I mean I had my first boyfriend and fifth grade and I didn't learn anything from but it's a funny memory like fuckin, getting him Valentine's day gives them like being nervously, give a damn and giving it to his friend to give damn like a maze. Story, but, like I mean didn't, learn anything from it. I dont think that its harmful by some parents do, and you know, when you're living under the roof. There are certain things that you need to respect. I guess, but you know. I also think that you can It never hurts to try to have a conversation into be like hey. Let
try to find a happy medium here, like what are your guises concerns? Why don't you guys want me to date and cure? find a way where I you know. I really like this guy and I really want to deign him. We find a way where I can date him, but you guys will be happy with it like weather promising Nino Fuckin not to have sex or something or promising leg or is it the word sex on the internet? We am skilled only out of a big kid now. That may be scared. let me raise he anyway, whether it's like promising, like you known, not too late Do X Y in Zaire, like you know, even if they're like indeed I am, but you can kiss him like whatever things like that. Finally, Gabby Medium when it comes to your parents, not being supportive of some of your dating like because they don't like them.
I think that this is again another conversation that needs be had really just like listen I know that you don't like this person, but I am in love with them and I really appreciate it. If you could just Be kind of a sound board for me to van off of like levy vent to you in, me, advice regardless and like. You know, I'm not probably going to. I don't know how long I'm going to be with this person, but like right now I really like them, and I can't really turn that feeling off. So, let's just agree to disagree on this, and I'd really appreciate like, if you could still you know, beast, maybe not be even if you're, not supportive of the relationship, you can be supportive of me by Giving me advice in Vienna being a support system for me getting like being with this person in general. You know I mean, and I think
Communication is key with all this just being like listen there How I feel- and I can't change it so. Sorry about it, but also is all my fault, because you can't control your feelings. I mean, I think people forget that too sometimes like people, so you know I think adults can sometimes kind invalidate young people's feelings when it comes to light, In staff, because they're, like God Union, been in love before you don't even know that's like. you're, not even in a real relationship you're, you know crush on this Eyes, DOM you're not aiming to care about them in a year, but Those feelings are so very real and I do think adults kind of forget that so I think reminding adults like hey like this the real heavy feeling that I have like being rub with somebody you're having a crush on somebody is fucking heavy? That shit is like
is on your chest when you're trying to fall asleep like eighty, a law its very emotional and I think reminding them that like. I know that I'm young and I know that this may seem insignificant to you, because you know that there is a bigger picture an employee not gonna, be with his person forever. It doesn't matter because right, now. This is how I feel about this person. There's nothing. I can do about it,. and you know how heavy that feeling is you. Obviously, that heavy about somebody that you married them, and now you had me so get out and not that's always out. You know that's now is how the situation is. But just you know, stereotypically yeah I mean, I think, a just reminding them it. Your feelings are valid. Kay somebody as how do I tell an adult something, uncomfortable or come forward with something bad that has happened to me in parentheses. I love you. I love you so much. The thing is, it's like ripping off a band aid. It's it's gonna, be uncovered.
ball, and you know you kind of you have to swallow that possibility. Ok, you know what I know that this is gonna be uncomfortable, but This needs to be discussed and, honestly I can guarantee that once The conversation starts and you kind of get into it. The awkwardness, usually this appear and uncomfortable news will usually disappear. I mean I had things that I've even made me. I mean I'm pretty close to my parents and even I still have things where I'll come to them and tell them, and it makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes you know like bad things. Happened to me in sometimes their emotional nicer boy, my eyes out and like sometimes you know, however in its uncomfortable, but the thing is, is that once you get off your chest. You're gonna feel so much better think about bad feeling. Think about good. It's gonna feel
get. That should have your chest. You know and think about how good it's gonna feel the hopefully get that support from your parents, that you deserve the chance that you could connect with your parents over that uncomfortable or that upsetting thing, that's enough to make it worth the Detroit. Think about what you're gonna say: maybe planet out, orders winging and like I mean both since I mean I think someone's planning on you're gonna say can kind of site. You are a little bit, but I also think that if your kind of brains and shambles like Roy something on and looked at it on. Paper and realize. Okay, this is gonna, be ok. You know, I mean you have one life and
communication in human connection is one of the most important things that you're going to experience. Even if it's uncomfortable, it's always worth it to try so just rip off the damn band aid. Next. How do I talk to my parents on mental health issues? I feel egg. It wasn't as normalize back then, and I feel awkward talking to my mom about it. I love you. I think that actually a lot of adults are starting to learn. I agree, I think the mental health problems it was not discuss. I think that a lot of our parents never. Even considered having those conversations with their parents and also, I think, a lot of our parents dealt with mental how's, my health issues, but it wasn't as talked about so they didn't even really know what they were dealing with at the
I'm like it was almost like. Ok, I really sad every day, but I don't really know what this is an. So I just guess I'm get over it. You know which is probably caused them, some mental problems that they have to do it to this day. Who knows, but I think the You know explaining it to the best of your ability and being like listen, I've done some research, I've kind of figured out that. I may be struggling with Ex Y Z, whatever that may be: let's AIDS depression. You know I've done summaries Search- and I think that I'm may be depressed and I don't want to live like this. It's uncomfortable for me. makes my day to day life very difficult, and I need support from you in health from you, so that I can get through this and hopefully get rid of this or
find ways to manage this better. But I need your support and I need your help and I also think that if your parents are really an educated on the subject, send them some resources send them some links to some videos that explain it send them in article find something that you feel like it- obsolete what you're dealing with and send them to them in. Let them do research on their own in only mean and kind of learn about it from a source that. maybe can explain it to them in a way that makes sense rather than you know, Tart explain mental health problems yourself. You know so The internet use the resources that are out there that so many and explain that to them. I really think that Thou wilt, About the problems, but I also know that some parents, like now you're fine, you're, fine, your fine when you're, not Sundays, Eric liked. Invalidate you down,
you're the guy you're, fine you're, just being dramatic. I know There's a lot of parents had do that and. That's especially term to be like listen. I am struggling and I had the courage to come to you and tell you about it in for you to invalidate that feeling is strangely hard for me, because I'm already dealing with this on a date they basis, and I may be covering a well but deep down like I'm really hurting and as my parent like. I would really hope that you would believe me and that you could help me get through this. You can. the big a why the fuck would I like to be lying around so this is. I dont want afterward this up. This is uncomfortable for me, but I'm desperate and I need help, and I think that confronting parents on invalidating those feelings,
just letting them do. It will hopefully get them to rethink. How do you talk to your parents when you those of different beliefs This is something I feel is super important right now, They know that there's you know a lot of you know a lot of kids are starting to learn about things like politics. Or you know whatever things like that and backing cause some tension in households, because. Not everybody going to agree on those things. There are some things that are really my remember, somebody We told Her- I always to be a saying like that leg, I think you as Paul makes religion in like one other thing. Why always cause an argument within leg. You know a communist, Usually, within conversations like they're just things that.
Sometimes you have to agree to disagree on because people are really you know. People are people believe there were they even you know, sunbeam aren't going. Did they. Can't understand your point of view or you know it really passionate about those things that you are very emotional and very passionate about. Financing into remember, but I also think that There's sign I've talked to others in a different episode. You can do your best to explain your point of view. to your parents in its when we are coming from and explain what you believe in to your parents and they might not agree. and you might feel as those your responsibility to convince them or to change their mind. But I aid to say it, but it is it always gonna work. You know I mean, but that's ok,.
you don't need to have the same views as your parents are the same opinions on things as your parents. were as anybody else for that matter and its respecting one another in the way they think you can't do anything. You can't change somebody's gonna think about things. You can try, but I mean the best you can do. Is you know. share, what you believe and if they don't agree, then that's a conversation that maybe you shouldn't be having. I think that you don't have to talk The things that you disagree on you know I mean, like those topics.
can be ignored or not ignored, but those conversations can be avoided. I think that when it comes to relationships with parents, those aren't you know, that's an important relationship, and so, if you have differing views, agreeing to disagree respectfully is the best way to deal with it, because it's not like you can just you shouldn't not respect somebody, because they don't have the same views as you or the same opinions as you. It's about finding a happy medium in agreeing to disagree, but that has to come from both sides. So both you and your parents both need to agree to disagree, that you're going to respect the other's opinion and just not talk about it anymore, because if you guys are both stuck in your ways, the conversations never going to get anywhere. You guys are both.
Play fighting with each other about trying to prove that the other is wrong and it will just be an endless nightmare of a cycle. So instead don't talk about those things and talk about other stuff that you guys agree on and they that can bond over and I think that's going to be really helpful and you know a lot healthier as well. Okay, next ham, I know you have divorced parents. I was wondering if you ever felt that you drifted with one of them and then now you've reformed the connection, sure I think that, through, like my growing up process, I've kind of like I think, my relationship with my my relationship with my parents, each individually has had its own like fluctuations in its own struggles. I like I one point I was you know my mama I was in the kind of like a moody team phase and my mom was you know, had her own struggles, and so you know us
together was just a fucking explosive mass and we would argue quite frequently- and I kind of resented my mom, because you know we would argue we'd, but heads because you know she wanted the harm in a certain way- and I wanted to do- they might do this my way and she and we just didn't respect each other. I think- and we weren't leg open minded and we didn't want to listen to the other person, and I think that that causes a lot attention. I also think it's normal. When mothers and daughters to you know have that attitude with one another, and I think that we, both both of us not just me. I think we both grown through that and learn to You communicate with one another and respect one another in a way that we wouldn't have otherwise without having that little time of tension you know, but that now my mom and I are closer than ever. You know Damien and if one starts to kind of behave in that way, will put each other
How can we like hey your hand? I am in your being older. And every being kind of argument and ev check yourself. You know him, We do that to each other and so Oh you know it's kind of this old checks and balances thing going, and now we don't really about problem any more and we have a great relationship. Those sets of fluctuations in parent child relationships are so normal. Next question: how do you make it less weird and awkward, one meeting your bays parents? This is awkward. Always it's always a little awkward, but I think, just being like you know, showing enthusiasm about meeting and being like you know- oh my god, I'm so excited to me you you know this is like you know. You have an amazing child. You know, I'm so glad begged me, whatever being enthusiastic about meeting them, but also trying to start a conversation with them and you know train a bond with them. I think
the house, because the sooner they you get over that awkward hominy less kind of talk about whatever, like that's. When things settled down and nine uncomfortable anymore. trying to sort of conversation about something you guys have in common. I think we'll just really get all the generous out now somebody asked me how to tell your parents know without them grounding you. I think that a huge reason why parents get really angry is about how kids tend to communicate with them. Ok, it's all about the way the you communicate, something if you search a raise your voice. If you start to get angry, if you search screaming, if you have an attitude, that's when your parents are gonna ground you. If your respectful com composed thought fall about the weather, you communicate things,
That is key. I can tell you, I used to be a little bitch, sometimes and I'd fuckin, yellow my parents and be an asshole and then will just cause an argument that I just get in trouble, but These are two to realise. Oh, my god. If I tree my parents with respect and communicate with them respectfully- and I I'll, raise my voice and I'm nice, and I'm like in I'm composed, like there's so much more open minded to whatever I'm talking about. If I'm like either a green at his grew them on something or I'm ass, them, something I'm telling them no or whatever? It's all about the delivery. somebody asked how do you
don't understand that disagreeing with something that they think is not disrespecting them? I think again, it's all about delivery and being like listen. I respect you and I respect your opinion and I respect your beliefs, but I also have different ones, and you know that has nothing to do with how I have it. With my respect for you, but, like you know, we're going to have to agree to disagree on this, but I still respect you and I respect your opinion. You know and not like fighting them on it right because and that's going to seem disrespectful but more as being like listen. I think they were gonna need to agree to disagree on this one next time. Is it out or talk to them and make them see that you're not akin anymore? I think talking to them about responsibilities and talking to them about like things that are maybe more mature topics in like having those important conversations
it's not like. You know new responsibilities a year gaining as your growing up, whether that's going to call moving out we're getting a job or whatever like talking your parents, about those things, I think help take it to the next level, because I think that It shows that you are growing up in a kind of clicks and their brain. Like oh shit. Well, you know so, and so is getting there. DR leg of hay in other becoming doll whatever and also, I think, commute caning with them in a leg common in nonchalant way is also a great way to share your parents. They are growing up in not being disrupted four rude, I think that being respect for and being polite shows maturity more than anything. God, I'm getting tired. It's one in the morning, like the latest I've been up in for ever only kind of losing my line. Next somebody says I am. I
Ways been the youngest of the friend group in the family same am, I always been at least one of the youngest I'm not a little girl anymore, but my family tends to treat me that way. How do I stop that? I think that it's really tough, because you carefully laid control that right, I'm always been the same way. I'm the youngest one of my friend group, I'm like One of the younger people, family and, like the third youngest in my whole family out of like both sides, youngest. On my mom side, thirty August on my dad's, I think that its just over time. They're gonna start to realize leg. It'll, all kind of the AIDS thing kind of evens out at a certain point like I remember. When I was younger, like Brown seventeen like, I was friends with kids, older than me like more on twenty and leg,
You know I didn't have like. I was eighteen years old, so I needed a fuckin parents. Permission to do anything which is funny thing about now, but you know I was the baby. Group and it was kind of annoying as everybody like didn't. Take me seriously and whenever now, I'm nineteen and then a few years later- and I that's kind of all disappeared. I think everybody kind of knives, the people who are fucking it ten years older than me, and it feels like normal because I just have adapted to like being friends of people that are older than me and like they ve gotten used to it, and now I'm not the baby any more, because I have proven that I can fuckin kid but you know I mean overtime
and now they don't really think about that shit anymore. But it's about like showing you can keep up, and I guess that's a hard one to answer cuz I feel like people always want to do that, so he asked me if it don't scare me know, you know it's actually really interesting, because I've always liked not I've. Never really. I mean, of course, sometimes adults intimidate me as do kids to like somebody barges intimidating in general, so I'm not saying among dominated by anybody, but there are definitely. I definitely I'm not that into me by adults. I think it's because parents raised me in a way where, like they never treated me really like a baby, which I'm really lucky further like that, and I am grateful for that.
They always help me do a really high standard and they never babied me. So I kind of always just like felt like I fit in with adults. Even when I was a kid, because my ex didn't my parents made me feel like I fit in. And that they weren't there were talking to me, like I wasn't an adult in a sense they weren't talking down to me or anything like that. So I felt like I had that confidence to keep up with the adults whatever, but I think that you know if you don't have that feeling a comfort. It's again, it's a practicing and just realizing like they're, not judging they're like at a different stage in their life, where, like they, actually care about shit, a lot less than kids do and if anything, I think other kids are more intimidating,
adult adults. Don't give a fuck there like over, that most of our like over the whole judgmental sage like they're, not judging you, some of them are in them not saying they're. Not, but most adults are like So we get over that they're just kind of chilled out. So who cares? What would they think you don't mean? Will not that as an aside euros link? Who cares what they think but dont being dominated by them like they're, probably not looking down at you and if they are therefore Ass also, somebody said I've terrible social anxieties bessie when socializing with adults. I struggle with ordering food on the phone dog into my doctors, literally if you're older than me, I'm scared. How can I call my nerves when needing to talk to adults, leg improperly communicate with them. This is tough, because I think that like this is something that soup
normal, but I think that it's like putting yourself in those uncomfortable situations, instead of being like hey, mom and dad. Can you guys call my doctor for me? No me, you know what I'm gonna fucking. Do it it's all about facing that fear. and getting it over whether realising away that was bad at all, like nothing. Bad happened from that, and I think that when you push yourself through those uncomfortable situations, enough times you will just realized that is real. Not that bad, because it is in and they're not judging you most of the time, and there are not even thinking twice about it, you're thinking twice about it. They don't care People are super concerned with themselves their napkins and with what other be barred doing there. Be a little bit but, like barely you know what I mean, they don't really care people concern about how they look and how they sound they're. Not as worried about you. So Don't ever try not to worry about that.
Many said: what are your thoughts on the phrase mother knows best? Do you think that adult always know what's best? How do you explain it, adults that what they think is in your best interests may not actually be in your best interest? I do think that you know there is something to be said for the wisdom that adults have and for the experience that they have in life, but that doesn't mean they're, not all that they are definitely not always right and they deafening don't always know best. There is definitely sell things. adults, don't know everything about. Nobody knows everything about everything. You know. I think that you should definitely give your parents, or you know your thoughts.
Figures are people who are older than you the chance to leg caught. My hearing is stuck in my fucking year. I think it's infected I'll fuck. Oh my God says Noggin POS coming, I? U and blood discussing ideas, there's a name he said for giving your elders a chance to like give you advice, because there's a good chance that they do no other talking about. But I do think there some scenarios where they dont and I think that maybe asking more adults for more. Indians and seeing if, like everybody, has a similar response and not just listening the like one adult, maybe like looking. Up on the internet like seeing what you can finally going elsewhere, Being like, ok, let's check the credibility of this fucking advice. I don't feel good about it. I want to see what everybody else's sang and also thinking
for yourself to you, only mean at the end of the day, it's your life, and these are visions that you're making and so dont worry about. Trying things out, I mean as long as it's harmless. Don't worry about trying things out that let yourself make your own decisions as well, but I also think that you know parents do you have good advice to all the times and they do know whether, Came out so in some of their, you might not even make sense in the moment, but down the line it will regardless at the end of the day, you're gonna make your decision for yourself follow your God. Do you think, is right. Somebody said I get really sensitive when am arguing with my parents. How can I avoid that There's something wrong with being sensitive invulnerable with your parents. I think that's really normal and I think you should lay yourself fill those feelings, but I also think that, with practice you can learn.
to take what your parents say with the grain of salt. You username and if they say something, that's hurtful you can To be like, ok, I know they're my parents and that this stings little but worse than normal, but I'm going to do. this with the grain assault and not take it too. Personally, they might just be angry in the moment in being impulsive and saying something that they mean or saying something that hurts my feelings. I mean it confront them on this and try not to get to a General, you know I mean, but I also think that this you know crying in being sensitive. It's like that's part of being human. Being it's pretty hard to avoid our last question. How do I start to talk to my strict parents about growing abscess be more responsible. Whenever do I do they shouted mean cry
and other policies in the needs we had wow images like all. She does just tell you as a fucking communicate, but I think it is under raided advice, because communication is absolutely key. I think that the parent, I think parents biggest fear, is that you know their baby is growing up in that. Going to lose their baby right and that you're going to not care about them anymore, or something or you're not going to like check in with them anymore and that you know they're going to lose you in a sense. I think that reminding your parents like hey just because I'm growing up and just because I'm becoming an, and in doesn't mean I don't need you and does it mean that I don't love you and doesn't mean that I don't appreciate you X, Y and Z like that is not the case. I'm just blossoming, unlike this is an amazing thing, but I still need you and I saw appreciate every. May you do for me, but this is
no part of life and really excited in it. I want you to be excited with me and I think that they would be like you know what your fuckin right, and on that note I am exhausted. I'd only I'm ever gonna recorded this our again, you could see me right now. My eyes are all swollen shot like I literally look like shit, but I'm starving some to go. Make myself a weird one. I am shredded cheese on top of a piece of bread type meal with like a frozen fruit on the side, cassettes all that is available right now or I have the energy to make at this time. I hope that this was helpful. dealing with adults is a very like case by case thing lords. I really. Say you know it's there, so many different things that we have to deal with when it comes to dealing with adults as kids or as a young adults. But I think that communication is key and that practice
it's perfect and pusher that uncomfortable shit and you got this. I love you also much I'm here for you all, viewed as one Ask me questions or treat me topics that when we talk about the twitter at age. Podcast dumper forget to rate review in subscribe on Apple podcast, Spotify anyway, you're biogas aid for always ready to say that, as a kind of you to say, but like also airily appreciative, You and. You guys are also awesome. Imperfect, I'm going to bed peace out, y'all