Gut feelings, instincts, that voice in the back of your head — we all have them. Sometimes they’re so strong they can’t be ignored. Should I be doing something different? Why don’t I fully trust this? Should this person be in my life? Emma dives deep into her intuitions, from important life decisions, to personal relationships, and everything in between. What to do with those intuitions, and when to trust them?
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hello everyone. I hope all having a good day. I am feeling so out of place right now. Let me give you let me set the scene. I am in my one of the bedrooms at my house, like the gas bedrooms specifically because as a lot of pillows in here and supposedly recording at home sounds better if you're in a very pillow room. So I am doing that
Can I have some clothes in here, so I could probably going to be better audio quality. I don't know I look like I got hit by a bus. I have look like that.
The past week occasionally getting ready just to I kind of feel good, but then I'd Seagal off after so I have a really been
you guys out. Is we ve all been at home for illegal week were all kind of just starting to lose our minds? A little bit I've been trying to keep it fine, even actually I'll. Tell you what I've been doing. Maybe I can inspire you. My daily routine is
a little something like this. Every other day I'd try to work out. In the morning I been training on walks as well. Just they walks around town, whatever try to walk up some hills get out of breath a little bit. It makes me feel better about sitting at home for long periods of time. When I know there I exercised, I don't have that make sense but like if I exercise, then I'm cool with like playing for night for the rest the day, because this is what else I've been doing
in the beginning, like earlier this week I was watching movies every night, but now I'm playing fortnight. Let me tell you why this is a bad thing. I used to hate fortnight like Haven. I may liked it, but like a monkey, Iceland, computer with my friends but like when it became a big thing, I hated it
I hated our route is playing it. I hated how it was like I don't know. I hate that in our reason I think it's because I just didn't understand. Like everybody was talking about fortnight, everybody levelling for nine, everybody was playing for night instead of hang out with her friends like it was like this phase right and I hated it. I hated. Will my friends played for night. It just piss me off, ok! Well, I now apologize to everybody who I was angry at for playing for night, because now
I'm doing the exact same thing and have gone gonna good. I just ordered appears for for my own house there again, not you
in borrow other peoples and its party time. It's victory worry I'll time
Actually I've only one twice
one was induce with somebody else, and they basically one for me in the moment by myself. Winning fortnight by yourself is probably the best feeling,
planned earth. I mean there's nothing better, but I'm just shut the fuck up a fortnight because I'm sorry
in turn into everything I used to hate like a year ago. So let's not do that. Let me have a simply her that it's my coffee, but I have to
my coffee without ice right now, because my ice machine in my refrigerator broke. So now I have no ice, it's funny because I'm moving, but I can't move right now, obviously, because of the what's going on, but I'm moving soon
and ever since I like decided where I'm moving and it was like finalize everything in my apartment started breaking like ever,
I decided I was moving and I got the play
aye, but I certainly
My apartment. Everything has been breaking like the light
my kitchen. One day broke my guard
disposal broke now my eyes machine broke, like the shit, doesn't end
Gimme a moment while at my cat into the room, because he or she can tell whose meaning I me is obviously quite lonely so Barbie it was my little girl
Frankie. She wanted to come in to hang out. I am now lying in bed. Recording my ball gases is something I never thought I would do, but if you're gonna go to counter reminds me of all the evenings at him on the phone with my parents late at night and I'm Lang here in my bed on my phone, but now I'm dying to know one instead, which is a little bit weird, but you guys are someone, so you know what I'm saying: let's get in to the topic of the day, so this is a weird topic to talk about publicly again see. I love this podcast because I just fuckin talk about so
I never thought I'd talk about on the internet and it's weirdly less, it's really easier because I'm by myself and I'm not looking at a camera, I'm just sitting here with a microphone like I'm on the phone and I can open up in a different way. I don't know why it's so different, but it is anyway you don't care
today. I'm gonna be talking about my intense got, feelings and intuitions that I have
I don't I'm not coming on using. Oh, my god, I'm psychic, but I've definitely add some moments that are pretty interesting and I thought I would share
The reason why I think that their so bizarre is because, usually when I have these will call them got feelings for now.
Is interesting because I'll have these got feelings, but they'll go against what my leg conscious mind saying
and I will make more sense when you are telling stories, but that's why I find them so interesting because they contradict what I want to do with my life in the present moment.
Or like what I believe, but then I'll have this weird inner guts.
Feeling that makes me super uneasy and I'll be like why an
and it ends up coming true and then it's crazy. So
Let's get into some of the stories, the first one that I can actually remember is I
was in middle school and I was actually in Maine
a sort of Maine every summer with my family, my dad's side. Oh my god, I miss it. I haven't gone in like two years, but it was like my favorite place
Well, the place that we stay in Maine is very remote.
as we know, signal very
old tie me leg, lots of general stores and, like you know, little beach, shops and stuff, but like
an ice cream shop and, like the closest grocery stores
Thirty minutes away, it's like,
very Roma. Just for some context but
the way so one night I was sleeping, there is a middle school and
Renault is actually an elementary school sorry
one night I was sleeping there
mind you, I M an elementary school.
Age I think, as in fourth grade- and I was whatever it was sleeping- go there for two weeks woke up one
learning and I remembered a dream. I had. I had a dream that I wasn't going to go
to a certain middle school, and I was gonna go to this other middle school aphorism context. My parents were divorced at this point and
my mom lived in one town and my dad lived in another ten twenty minutes away. At the time I was going to school five minutes way for my dad's house. So
in a different tone, but I had a dream that I was going to go to middle school.
In my mom's town, the town that my mom lived, and it was this school that action my cousins went to, and I had this dream about it in the dream. I was told that I need to go to the school like I need to transfer to the school in my dream.
It was so bizarre to me at the time I mean mind you, unlike in elementary school and like not very smart, yet so not necessarily about smart fuck that I'm smart, not gonna, be degrading today, anyway, it was weird, and so I asked
dad for like two course, and I run down to the pay phone at the bottom of the hill from the cottage that we're staying at, and I call my mom- and I say you need to transfer me to the school in your town. I need to go to school.
Can. We transfer me over to that school like. Are we in the zone to live there to go that school? I can we please figured I'd just
This feeling that I need to go to school and I am going to that school
because of that one dream, I was fully planning on going to middle school in my town.
I was fully prepared to go to middle school in the town the my dad lived but like
dream, change everything and made me feel like I needed
this other middle school, which seems
random, seems really inconsequential.
me going to that school is
Definitely the reason why I started my you too, gentle indefinitely. The reason why I am who I am today, if I wouldn't have gone to that,
school I wouldn't have experienced this like interesting culture.
In the area that I lived with.
therefore, that egg
went elementary school was a lot more normal middle class whatever and the area
they wanted middle school in high school was a lot more wealthy, and I think that that experience
of leg, going from like a normal kind of committee,
it's like a more wealthier community. I think it really impacted me and I think it kind of made me
it made me grow in a way that I wouldn't have grown, if I would have stayed in the old school, an old community and I'm
like so I think it almost made me want to about in a way because, like everybody was
exactly the same. Everybody bought the exact same things I produced
did not for while there is much I could but leg
they got old. I started to realize how everything was so fabricated in fake and it made me lose
I might please. Everybody was just had rich parents all got the same expensive cars,
it got to a point where it was just like. I hated it, and I don't think that I would have felt the
strong urge to start a Youtube channel. If I wasn't in that situation, and so that was a crazy one, but that was just the first time I ever felt an intuition like
that was a grab a dreamer. You know something China, we
like that that was like
said, the universe telling me to do something and then moving like ok, I guess I'll do it.
Questioning it and then it changing my whole entire life in a weird way,
next story more, is about high school, so
High school, I was a very great, focused student. I was obsessed with going to a good college
obsessed, which might sound funny those now but no, I was like
obsessive about college leg at an unhappy.
they degree. I like I like use out an unhealthy point like I was
so obsessed with going to a good college for
no other reason than just simply bragging rights, and I can say that now, but I just wanted to prove that I was smart because I think it was also. This thing were at my school again is a private school and there is a lot of wealthy kids, and I think that me being not as wealthy in getting financial aid made me feel inferior in a certain way.
and the way for me to feel better about myself was the fact that I got better grades, then some of them, which is fucked up inside a comet
Jane in any way, and it didn't need to be out in a why my brain was widely out at the time, but
that's the way my brain was wired back then now I wouldn't care by like about either, but I'm in a different place, my life now, but I
you know I want. I felt like the only way that I could prove myself was to be smart and if I went to a really good school and got really good grades
I would didn't attention for that, while the other girls we're getting attention for the ADI, that they drove the school one day. You don't I'm saying like
It was like it's it's shallow to think like that, but and I'm saying that, because I don't want anybody to think that that's how I'm wired now, because I'm not so but like you gets here, I'm saying anyway, very obsessed with school.
But he's really weird because their member I went to a as a t, prep person when it was about to be time, for as it is
I had a meeting with them is basically gonna be elegant, as eighty prep college counts
type of situation- and I remember driving home from that- and I was like- I don't even think I said this out loud to my mom or anything. But I remember thinking at my Adam's like I know, I'm not going to go to college. Why am I trying so hard
at this point, I'd never side, not sort of major channel. Every single sign pointed to me going to college and TAT was Michael, yet for some reason I had this feeling that I could.
Shake telling me Emma you're, not gonna, go to college. I mean you're not going to college. I mean you're not going to college and I believe what the fog,
Yes, I am, I literally be fighting my inner mind. I'd be fighting my mind, you'd Billy
my brain, was. I me I was fully going to cause than my subconscious.
The screaming me telling me you're not going to college idiot you're not going to cause
and I just ended up ignoring and those like. Maybe this is my brain like behaving weird, because I am not excited about.
But, like I am his fast forward a few months.
I saw my Youtube channel still thinking
going to college and then eventually was clear to me that I was not going to college and then also goes it by subconscious was,
but I had no reason to feel that way when I was feeling,
that's why I was so weird speaking of Youtube. I'd really interesting. You two related intuition got feelings
basically, I was a cheerleader in high school and I was obviously student in high school
I worked so hard to put those things like extremely hard.
language cheerleading. I was going
driving an hour to practice three times a week and then to go to my competitive, cheerleading Jim. In a completely
different out of our way, sometimes two hours away through traffic, because I wanted to be on a good team, scattered extra. Thank you to my parents were driving me to that.
And then at school I was doing like eight hours, our homework everyday and also doing school cheer Fer a few months before Bavaria Kedasa team.
browsing school chair and as doing that every day
I was doing a lot spreading myself, quite then, at the time and energy. Next I wanted to do and I wanted to be.
good cheerleader and I wanted to be a good student and I was working so hard at his sleeping three hours a night like costs,
We like under the weather, like whatever, and I remember just getting in the car one day,
I told my mama was like.
I know for a fact that there is something else
there in this world for me that I'm not doing, but I know that it's my
but I dont know what it is as a guy.
No, that there's because I always felt like I was doing these things and they never felt fully passionate about them liquid
here. I was really passionate about cheer, but I knew that
this kind of coming to a close link. It was just something that was a phase and, like my passion, was kind of
waiting for that and was school I didn't have. If I was, you know, I got good grades by dint of it
subject that I was super passionate about like Irene.
Play biology announcing. Maybe I could easily biology, but nothing click
my head, nothing was like a yes. This is what I want to do with my life and it bugs me because
I knew that there is something else out there in the world.
there was like my path. More and applied could not figuring out. Ok,
I knew that it was there, but I couldn't figure it out and it was so overwhelming that it made me so unsettled
what's so me. I was constantly like what is it I was causing trying to figure out what it is. Life felt so bad at my about myself for not knowing what it was, and it took me
Getting to my darkest depression that I had ever gotten to end
sophomore year to finally figure out what it was, but I think what led me to that depression was the fact that
I was like living this today that I knew what
and get last, it was
so bizarre. I knew that I wasn't
to be live. I knew that my life was gonna change soon, but I did
know what it was in? So I was just going through the motions of you know.
doing school sports in
It is global in you know, I'm going to kill
ass in work, you really hard, but I knew that I was kind of doing it for nothing and it was
oh bizarre because my some examining
Show me sound. I bet you guys can hear it. I don't know why they canceled it only drink coffee. Today, cuz, it's like eleven, a dot m and I'm actually it's noon. Oh fuck, I really have not done anything of my day
I was going through the motions
of being a student in being doing living, my life as I knew it, but I knew that it wasn't gonna last so I felt like I was living a fig leaf.
And it was so weird- and I don't have that-
It makes sense because, to be honest, it doesn't really make much sense to me, but fast forward after living,
a fig day over and over again, because I knew that something else was coming. I got
the point of depression that was so bad. It was my problem
dark his point of actually ever gotten. To I mean it was really bad. I remember it was my bird
play one day play this is for my birthday is May 22nd, so it was like the last day of school. Is my birthday or is like the activity day or something- and I remember I was like I can't go like I couldn't get out of bed didn't go to my last day of sophomore year,
My dad was egg. Let's go to him to and walk round, I go to say
just go with him and I tried to like dress up and look good, my birthday
now remember I was walking with him and I like couldn't walk any
or like I literally, was so big
I myself upset about whatever I
new and figure out what it was. I had to sit under a tree on grass for like an hour and just cry it out, so that I can continue.
Walking like I don't even know what I mean it's bizarre to talk about now, Islamic and a why? What
wrong. I don't even know what was wrong. I don't know said I was bizarre, but that's how dark of a place I was in and then I failed. My driver's test and then I started my Youtube chant.
As a distraction, and I was so passionate about it. When I
and so determined to find my vote.
son you tube in so determined alike, do it and I loved it. I love it Tuesday, but I love
immediately, and I knew that that was what I bad been missing and it was so weird because it so funny when you like. You know
I didn't know where that was gonna go.
know if I'll ever gonna
do well on. The platform of hers is gonna, be a fun hobby for me into beyond us at the time. I was in such a place that I was down.
to do anything. I didn't have any altered
your motive, I wasn't trying to be a year
to be. I just wanted to make videos, because I was so upset
will you do but always had been growing up. There was just like a escape for me and then next thing I knew it was that missing piece that had been driving me nuts for years and now I know that there is nothing else that I should be doing, because this is what was eating. I may inside that. I, like you, know
some, like a fuckin nut case right now, but I feel it inside. So I know it's real, but that's my Youtube Intuition story next moment a jog about my in intuition, with friendships and relations
ships interesting or your mouth I'd, a very interesting one. Reese knowledge reason we but leg within the past year about someone and
It was so bizarre how it happened. So I had this person, I'm gonna, keep this very broad cause. I don't even want to. I don't even want like if the person I wanna keep it
rod gay. So I had this person in my life in a certain capacity in a certain way. For a few months,
and we got along really well and everything was good. There were a good.
Never in my life and
I remember one night I was driving in my car with my homey Amanda and this person wasn't around and as driving around with Amanda and I was like
manner. I dont know why I feel like this, but I feel like this person is,
not who they say that they are an idle
what that even means, but I have this feeling
that this person is not who they say that they are,
my friend Amanda also was friends at this person was like. No am I. What are you talking about? Do my stomach is making
five thousand our know how to stop. It is gonna. Listen! My summit caters for my microphone or try some again of that work, but hopefully did
anyway I was like a man. I swear to God. This person gives me the darkest energy like this,
are lying about who they are truly and like we don't
who they are like they're putting on a facade like I'm convinced that were being played here,
Get his person is a just talented actor. I was like a manner I swear it,
but I don't know I feel like this, because I want a few ideas about this person. I really
enjoy this person, and I want them to be who they present themselves to be. But I had this feeling and about his feeling for
is that this person is not who they say that they are in deep down. They are not that and they have all terrier motives. There's something going over this person and amend,
but I was crazy, but she also is kind of like if you
feel that way like I kind of
no I mean she knows about my different weird feelings that I get now they tend to come true issues. Can I give you feel that way, I'm gonna get it
must you, but I
I think that it could just be you over analyzing the situation, and maybe you should just ignore it and
like a canvas, can ignore it. So I did I ignored it, ignored my gut feeling
and lo and behold a few months later
things started happening with his person and it turns out. I think I was right.
just figured out that this person lied along and
maybe wasn't in my life- for the correct reasons right, anxious, crazy, it's crazy, because I knew it for a long time.
but I continued tat his person in my life because I didn't know they didn't having fucking proof.
I all I had was my gut feeling, so
my supposed to like confront somebody about a gut feeling. I had that's it
mad at somebody when there in your dream and they do something fucked up like give your fuckin boyfriend cheats on you in your dream and then you wake up Gillig
Jeremy that was really fucked up. What you did my dream right, so you can be mad at somebody when you don't have any solid evidence like how you can't arrest a criminal, but you have solid evidence you can know, but he can't do it. It's about exactly how I felt as pain in the corner of that
and but I ended up being right, and I knew it all time and it was really eerie for me being around them.
person after I figured that out and out that got feeling. But now it's fine because, let's say it's fine cause. That's duration is over all right. Let's answer some questions now about this topic, although this is a very hard topic to ask questions about so I said on Twitter DAS, questions about this topic or anything else, so we're gonna do.
All that shit. All right. First question: do you believe in the law of attraction? I'm not super educated on the law of attraction? I know my mom is super into it. I think the law of attraction is basically manifesting. That's kind of the vibe I get from it. I could be completely wrong.
like manifesting, something you want by telling you if you think about it. If you think about that, you have it then you'll get it type, a situation, I'm pretty sure. That's what it is. I do believe in that
actually, although I'm not necessarily, I tend to become
a real waste in a sense
Do also enjoy those types of things like I, you know I think,
the law of attraction manifestation evenly Karma show
that I think that I I do believe in it because
even if it isn't real in
that shit is just our own minds playing games. I dont really
air, because I think that a kind of motor
aids me regardless, like Carmen,
makes me want to be a good person and like what goes around comes round right having that kind of subconscious feeling of karma. Since I was a child
I think has made me a better person in even the
It's probably not a real thing or it
maybe who knows, I don't know, I have no idea. Nobody knows it helps it gives me in line right, so I believe in it because accuse me in line makes me a better person. Law of attraction. Motivates me right manifestation motivates me so, regardless of how exactly it works, I think it's still a positive thing to participate in and I do believe it.
real, but whatever next question have you ever had a bad gut feeling and been right about it, absolutely main the majority of the gut feeling they have a kind of
bad releases seem bad. The moment like me not going to college. That seemed bad me as what the fuck am. I don't feel
go to college. Does I mean I'm not die either,
gonna die. That's the reason why I wasn't going to college because
there is no other reason to me, then,
one go to college unless I died like I couldn't imagine a scenario where I wasn't: gonna go to college, so that was bad and even my intuition,
that person? That was in my life and actually
other people in my life tat. I had bad feelings about as well. I mean many and that's been bad meetings. I've thought that they were
be the bridesmaids of my wedding or even that I was gonna fuckin, you know be president
until the day I dialect whatever, and then they
turning round in kind of proving my gut feeling to be true and that that's a bad gut feeling in my opinion, and so yes, I have had quite a
next question: do you always goes your god? Yes, I always go my god
not always immediately, but eventually I always do and its because my guide we're
tends to be a less emotional path, like my God is like my brain, telling me what
do without any emotion and without anything else, whereas my emotions will speak for me and tell me to do something else
but I end up always going on my god. In I end up. It's always actually what I should be doing. It's always the right decision
somebody asked me from superstitious I devils,
to a certain extent like it oh
Those are a b
when you do a sport. I think some sports are like this more than others, but I know for me. I grew up from middles devolve from like eighth grade through high school. I always did sports right and before, when I did chair before it perform or before Tracker cross country before we run can do meets. We would all have these superstitious things and if
wouldn't do them. We would think that we will lose. It was like you know. I know I might cheer team. We had the specific, chant and we'd all like dead jumper.
An amount of times give each other a certain amount of high fives like say
certain things I had this ritual like one
standing on stage before I'd perform. I had the sword
ritual that I do myself. I like jump three times and then look up to the ceiling
Unlike say something to myself, I dont to say, but I'd like say, like almost like a prayer to myself before it perform,
then I would perform and I believed
and only then, if they didn't do that, I would fucking not perform properly and before races when I did tracking cross country. I would like
You know we do little prayer circles with our team and I believed knowledge it. It made me feel more confident for some reason
what did it help rolling up, but I mean I believed in it any
to this day, if I'm talking
something I don't wanna jinx it. If you will, I always will knock on would left hand three times. My friend Amanda kind of I,
knocked on would, but then she was the one that was like now. You need not go with your left hand. Three times.
An servers, and she said that then I started doing in NAM superstitious about that now. If any of us say stuff lets me and my two friends are in the car
and we'll like say something that we don't want to jinx like, for example, on like. Oh, my god, I hope I get to lake. I hope that this guy texts me tonight
and then my great fuck, we only do not go. Would he not would three times K? That's like and then I didn't chinks. It said I'm saying,
So searching my back, I'm definitely over superstitious moving on
Somebody asked me has ever been a time where you listen dear
in been wrong. Okay, this is super interesting because no but
but but this is an interesting thing I have imagined yet so my very intense got feelings and intuitions are very clear to me. Like I see them, I hear them and
act accordingly. Sometimes it's not immediately. Sometimes I don't know to do with it whatever, but usually they end up being right, but sometimes when I'm going
a phase of my life when I'm having really bad anxiety or I'm going
phase, where I'm having panic attacks. This
the part about being in tune with the fact that you have these got feelings and intuitions is the fact that they can very easily get confused.
with an anxiety attack or panic attack. For example. One time I was having a panic attack and I was convinced that my whole family was going to die like my mom, my dad- and I am an only child in my Pera
are my life like. I know that sounds weird, but, like I fucking love, my parents
more than I've, like I'm, economists are crying holy shit. I love my pain.
more than I'd. Like I love them, a may are.
Like my best friends, but also like they're, my parents, and they help me and every
single element of my life. Emotionally they guide me. They held me with ever,
that I do and they ve been such good parents. Since I was a kid and I
like I love them so much and I had this panic attack and I felt like they were gonna die and
Calling my parents every thirty minutes, because I was an ally and I started to.
Vince myself during this panic act that it wasn't. The panic is our talking telling me that my parents, we're gonna, die
that it was my intuition- and I convince myself that,
having an intuition that my parents, something was.
Have no parents and that's
She gets twisted is when you're real
the anxious or you're having a panic attack, and you convinced
I'll bet you're having a gut feeling, but really it is your panic attack talking and then what
the pan exact goes away, you're like fuck. It wasn't. Even that was literally just me having a panic attack
if you ve ever had a panic sag. You know our days like you feel like you're world is crumbling down. You can't breathe properly. You can't move it's the worst shit ever in
It's actually really funny cuz. The reason why that panic attack specifically was triggered was because I had just figured out that the person that was in my life that ended up not being who they said they were they referred to earlier. Once I found that all out, it's spiraling into a five day, panic attack and it's bright. It actually made me physically sick when I was done with a panic, attack
we ended. I was physically ill because it took so much out of me emotion.
And physically, because I was like tents for five,
I was leg, hyper venom,
For five days- and it was the worst shit- that's ever happened to me, and it was because I figured other that person was not way said they were in everything. Came everything came crashing down. I realized it all at once, and it made me fuckin freak out and anyone who thought it odd that in but anyway
I don't think they got. Feelings have ever been wrong, but my anxiety and my panic have made me think that I have
these bad intuitions there weren't actually true next question,
you believe everything happens for a reason I do. I do because every single fucked up thing that ever happened to me has always proved
you be something that I can imagine living without it there and even the most fucked up shit. I feel
it has taught me something, and I just
I trust the universe and what's going on and I try not to run like push against it, because what happens happens right. You can't fight what as happened or what can?
and used it like if something fucked up happens, that you're, like this shouldn't, be happening. There's no way that this is happening. If you fight against it, it doesn't get you anywhere, but if you lean into a new just try to find the positive in it, it all- and
making sense. And so you know, even when I've gone through, you know, church in the past, like it's always lead to something better. For example, my parents got divorced when I was five, and
That sounds fucked up ray leg. It sounds like you wouldn't be good. Will read
we enough. I am so fucking glad my parents got divorced. I am, I might do
upset about my parents towards at some point if their comfortable die
I know my parents was no I've got castle. Figures are called that I might make it up about it to help other kids that are going through that, but
or adults even I mean everybody goes through it anyway. My parents got worse and has five. I am very happy that they got divorced.
I am happy that they got divorced because number one. I don't think that
They were necessarily meant to be married. Long term, I think,
I am not being together is what exactly was was happen, because now
in my situation, I'm very very lucky to say that my parents have a really great relationship now as friends, and I think it's because you know they ve had a bond over me in a sense, and you know they haven't been able to stop communicating. Because of me- and
you, ve, been very mature and very so admirable ivy league. The way that they dealt with the divorce was so seamless innocence, and it was
tough. For sure I mean I'm not gonna say was easy and there are some rough pick no patches when my parents,
started dating and stuff, and that was really hard for me, but regardless now
I'm older. You know
I wouldn't want to any other way and even the shit that happened to me as a child like the shit
It was upsetting for me like when my parents started dating other people and stuff like that, and that was really really really really fucking hard for me, but even that, like I don't regret that, because that taught me a lot and I babe and I and I've grown up in CNY
we're doing that you have to like what are they supposed to do not date? Anyone because of me
I realise that now
I also realise that there are
chance that I might get divorced one day with my husband FI get married, I might get divorced.
Now I have this amazing inside
on how to have a healthy divorce. And you know I have,
Gee with my parents and we're all fuckin homes, and I take them, says you re now, because you know they're back in the Bay area and I'm here
so. I've been taxing, the grew chat, everyday checking on them, and you know we alter
well, what we're doing in its very I. Actually,
really love that we can have.
situation, but I also was able to have supper relationships with my parents that were very intimate because it wasn't like. I would ask my mom: hey: can we go get
pops no go ask your dad. It was never like, because it was just me one on one living with my parents have enough, so I had the time to grow
really really strong relationships with each parent individually and idle.
I would have had tat if they would have been married still, because there is this- you know whatever. Obviously, who knows what it would have been like? My parents were to stay together. I don't really care because that in
fucking aben, some people even ass. We do wish your parents would get back together, no doubt be so fucking weird. I would not like that. I don't want them to get back together. I don't
Remember them ever being together, they ve been broken up for thirteen years. I don't fucking. Remember
it was like for them to be married, but yeah I mean I think their divorce was one of the best thing that ever happened to me, but or
thing they could have happened for my relationship with my parents, but
you know in the moment it seemed really San fucked up
anyways, one more question and then on a wrap. This up and probably some fuckin fortnight, be honest. But ok. Last question are your first impressions on people always on point or you ever surprise after getting to know somebody and it changed your mind.
this is really interesting, because I will have got feelings about people when I first meet them
but I have this bad habit of not listening to them and I'm getting better on it because it ends up harming mean down the line. I can think of at least three friends that I had in the past that actually more properly like five, maybe I've I've had intuitions about Polly five people that I've been friends with very strong feelings right where I was like this person's bad news, but big
as I've enjoyed hanging out with them. I just would say it's fine, I'm just can ignore it. Maybe I'm wrong and I'll always say like. Oh, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong and try to convince myself
that I was wrong. I want to convince myself that I'm wrong because I'm the type of person that likes to have as many friends as possible- I love being friends with people right like I love it. It's like it. I love talking to people. I can fucking talk to a brick wall. So, like the more friends in my life, I have the merrier. I love that okay, but I've had a few people wear I've had these bad
things? I've continued to be friends with them a few months or even a year or so could go by, and then I searching their true colours and, unlike while dammit whoop there, it is it's there they suck, but my bad habit.
And I'm never really that surprise, I'm never support.
Because they always saw coming always, but I just
I end up being angry myself recently Emma you knew that you fucking knew that
even when there is no reason to know that I knew it right. I would like they could be the fucking cools, person
so generous, so nice, so cool and I could be like now. I know it there's something I on here and then I
figuring it out, and then I end up being pissed at myself, because I knew, but I never I feel like I'm. Normally, I'm never shocked when somebody turns around and ends up being kind of fucked up Philly. My read on people is pretty good and I either can tell that they're fifty slash fifty and that they might fuck me over
Or I know that they are actually a real homey and even if they do something kind of wrong or fucked up that, it's not that that's a fluke in that they're not actually a bad person so yeah. That is, that
I'm trying to before it ends up said. I want to try to remember any other crazy predictions lad, but Philip that's all. I have.
Oh shit- I forgot about this last thing. This last intuition thing that I have and then I'll the absence of false alarm were not over. Yet it's not area. So I have this weird thing that strictly pertains. That's right word to like events or things that
you go to, for example, a concert, a party you know, even just going to hang out with your friends things like that events will call those events right like
things that you go to things you attend.
Since I was younger I've known that things are going to get cancelled
That's on so weird, but like this year coach
I remember before: has co now cancelled earths postponed until October?
If it even happens in October, who knows, but a good example would be coach hella, where
this year I remember, I was like buying my outfits and picking shut out, but I remember
end of just being like having
this feeling run like. I don't think, I'm going to coach held this year, I
I feel like I'm going. I don't think it's going to happen,
this was even before you know the whole kind of kroner virus thing begun.
I knew I wasn't going and I wasn't it
I wasn't really trying as hard to pick up my off. It's like I was but like deep down
knew that I was doing it all for nothing, and then it got fuckin castle mouse
Why did I know that this was going to happen? I like I knew that it wasn't gonna happen in same.
with, like I had this
like seminar thing. Is that even the right word using businesses indigo speak
at a business thing like you is an event
and I was gonna go like do a speech or something
and that I remember that was planned for the end of March and we plan that in January, so that have been on the calendar for really long.
But it was really funny because I knew that I wasn't gonna go to it. I remember was like on my calendar and capping like
I should not going to happen. I don't know why. But it's not going to happen like when we were planning it. I was like planning it so nonchalantly because I just knew it wasn't going to happen for some reason and lo and behold it didn't, and this has been happening to me for years. I will get this weird feeling that something's not going to happen and then it doesn't- and it's only happens once every blue moon, because majority of the time things happen right, but then every once in awhile be like this isn't going to happen. This is going to happen and then it doesn't and I'm like. Oh shit, that's weird or even like I have like Ben and I've been by plan trips with
Friends Emma rose going to plan a trip for the fourth of July, we're all planning up then deep down. I knew it was going to happen it. She like that happens in summer
They think it's just common sense, but than other times. There's no reason for me to believe it's not gonna happen. Flights will be booked, hotels will be booked schedules
the open, and yet I still know that it's not gonna happen
I wish I could explain more why I feel like that. But it's just something: that's so subconscious and out of my control that I literally don't know where it comes from, but yeah
on that note. I hope you those enjoyed today's episode, it's kind of a weird topic to talk about. If you guys have any topic, so you want me to touch on moving forward literally anything
tweet at age, podcast I'll go look through. I know I have a tweet on there
where I asked me. There's a dreamy clutching seek annoys tweet under that or just tweet mean general. Ask me questions on their fall me on their don't forget.
Rate review and subscribe on Spotify Apple pie.
cause. Wherever else you get. Your podcast leave me a little rating
your enjoying anything goes, I'm really enjoying animal
loving it, I'm so glad that we switch from Subic genius, my old caught pog to anything goes. I think it's
much more me and I'm having so much more fun with it so much more natural and it's so much more therapeutic for me. So I hope you
are enjoying it just as much as I am, and I love talking deal in can't wait for everything to get back to business so that we can do voicemail again in the
guess we'll be back to normal, but for now I hope you are saying safe, saying, positives.
inside, using the time to honestly bond with your family and friends. I know like you know whether that's over the phone or in a very
small group. I know some of our current quarantining with your home is so that's what I'm referring to, but
or let your roommates or whatever I dunno, but just use this time to connect with people and find a new high
be, and maybe player with a fortnight never hurt nobody. I love you guys enjoy your day and I love you all.