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#111: Ginger Zee, ABC News Chief Meteorologist (Bonus!)

2017-12-01
On "Good Morning America," Ginger Zee is known as ABC News' bright, always-smiling chief meteorologist, but now she is sharing that, in reality, she has long battled storms within herself. Zee, who was born Ginger Zuidgeest, discusses her new memoir, "Natural Disaster: I Cover Them. I Am One."
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey guys, bonus pod this week and it's bizarre everyone, but also oddly funny and moving my friend ginger Z, and I say friend I don't mean that casualty actually is my friend for a long time. She is the chief meteorologist here at ABC News you consider every morning on good morning, America she goes to cover big breaker, whether news all over the country in the world, as well in just incredible part of ABC used for a long time. She, began her career hurt at ABC News by working on the weekends, which is my domain for what, for many years as well, and so we got to know each other quite well when she came to ABC News and I knew a little bit of what you are about to hear from her, but by no means that I know the full extent of it. She had written a new book called natural disaster. I cover them. I am one
and it is breathtaking in its honesty, it's about her struggles with depression. She's had some some truly difficult times in dealing with depression, and this book is extremely brave move on her part and her goal is really to normalize. This is a goal, I share in talking about my panic, anxiety, depression, substance, abuse that that it is a mission. I heartily support, which is too to make people why they're not alone that these are are very common conditions and they can get really bad, but you can make it through when ginger's a great case study
somebody who's aggressively sought, help and is whose life is a really great place right now. Will you also hear us talk about meditation, but it's not the major focus of this book ass we get to it toward the end, but again really proud of my friend ginger, for what is done with this new book and so without any further verbiage. For me here she is gingerly. Four may be seen as the ten percent your broadcasts in her. You were nervous about this, but I am still nervous about this and I know you know the feeling before you kid told me: it's gonna be ok, but it would be weird if I wasn't nervous, I wouldn't be hopefully hopefully doing what I want the book to do. If I wasn't nervous. So what were specifically nourishment road, the combination between nervous that I can't believe people are going to read the stuff about me that it still kind of late, but I hope that helps and then the second part is, does it see
like I, didn't, go at because there are so many people that deal with mental health issues to extreme extent. I think they're gonna red and say so that's what you through brimming. Then there's more. So that's a worry too, but I think the one that, even from the reviews that I have seen so far, the people responding to these reviews on Twitter on Instagram I've already seen people say I can't believe you went through this too. I the exact same thing hey, I ended my engagement and it was one of the hardest things and they went into a deep depression, afterward and there is so
I'm already seeing and hearing those stories and that starting to soften the concern- or let's talk about the first line or two of the Elk so starts out ten days before I start my job at ABC News. I checked myself into a mental health institute or hospital, and that was the changing factor in my life. So up until that point, for probably ten years I had been to dozens of therapists I had struggled. I had attempted suicide had been a really bad places with depression and my mom mom, so his right still that still stands on earth and she always said you need to commit to this. You need to check yourself in, and that was very, I didn't know anything about suicide. I didn't know what I was doing. I just knew that I didn't want to live and it was very in the moment it was just kind of okay this and that put depression was for me. I would have a great day and then
stay all of a sudden, the bottom drop out and I didn't want to live, and then the next day after that, after I survived a suicide attempts had look in the mirror and I'd say who is whose that girl that turn to commit suicide? Yesterday, that's weird, and so you know some people's lives that plays out as a bipolar. We have meant manic moment and you have a depressive moment. I was never diagnosis bipolar, but I definitely had swings of manic moments that that played out around these terribly low moments. I've had deprived jealous depression myself as a kid and to this day it clearly in my mind now clearly not as as as severe is what you use struggle with, Tat. Take me inside a moment where you actually dont want to live good. I've never experienced that.
In its of an end. I haven't experienced it now in five six years and so too lived the way. I've lived in the last five or six years is such a more joyous better place, because when I get the princess still get depressed, I still have two you can't. I dont think you ever aren't depressed you, don't I'm saying I don't think you get cured of depression. I think you learn how to live and deal use tools. I think depression will always be around well. Can you not be? Can you you always have to pressure of time? but you may not be depressed right now, right and so to live this way where I've had to press the I've had moments where I think, while I'm really low, I don't have the feeling that I want to die. So I do know the difference between what that was, and I thought I would say that vacant is the first word I would use swear. I do no, I dont care about anyone or anything, especially myself, and I think that it would be better. It would be easier. I get nowhere
it's almost like a lazy mode where I say this isn't worth it anymore. This isn't an end it. My brain turns off, and I just had one of the times ahead. Otis with me now remember just being that is our yeah, my dog, and so he was unfortunately hunt for the whole of this stuff is poor. Thing is still no. He ass when Adrian was born right right around the time, but I repeat: we're looking at him. I love that too I mean he was my everything and I remember looking at him thinking I don't care, I don't care about anything and it and I wanted it to end, and I did it was blackness vacancy a room next shuts down very fast, but then a room that Blake opens up and right about that in the book where I'm talking about the it's like the shades go down, and I can't see, and I dont see a future, and I dont see my past and I don't care about anything so so you mention it at a few questions to go, and I have a way of derailing people from those stories are trying to tell us what Hodges about them,
but so ten days before you started here at ABC wishing you working with me at the time you were about about our working on. We can good morning America with me and that at the other co host at the time- were beyond a girl a drink. I know it's you, yes and and and run clay born here after more than three days. You were coming in his our meteorologist. Who is your dream job and and ten days beforehand, you checked herself into a residential Mental Health Institute why, in what was it like? So in that- is, I knew I had gotten to my low place again sober a point I had enough. They experience with therapy and with us, around me that I knew when I got to that low place with what was going on in my life and the transition that was about to happen that usually kicks off something for me as moving to New York, and there is a lot of pressure and I felt that was part of it. I knew I was at getting close to. I don't wanna live any more,
so actually had the warning signs and was able to say to my mom and to cousin I dont want live anymore, I'm pretty sure. So we should do something about that So is the first time in my life I, as a dead, provoked an onion like a kind of a laugh because it so it's so crazy frank, it's a crazy! It's crazy, not with the word again in my region, Frank and brutally frank. and for them they knew. I was serious because they had experience and they didn't want me to get there again whether it was the next day or had was going to happen after I started my job or whatever, and I think it was every of knowing this job was here and that I didn't want to screw it up. So This was giving me that that life
in that room. That purpose that I knew that I wanted to get to a new life had something in store for me. I knew that it was. I could still see that that little part, so that was the first time I really had that told them and saw the warning signs and then they said my mom said. Ok, I want you to. I want to help you, but I want you to commit this time you're going to check in or I'm not gonna help, and she got very strong with me. You know where she is. She seen it so many times and she for ten years, and I think about this, Now she went around just scared, every day she worried when aspire we have someone else in my life called her someone they didn't usually call her. I was always dead. I was always dead in her mind because of how I had lived and that makes me so sad that I made my mom lived through that, like I can't imagine Adrian due to hope, kick its, but we cannot do that and we should say as weak as record this. You ve got another bs. Come in and that, like thinking about what I did to my parents, especially
Emma, because she knew it all. The whole time was so unfair and so is unfair to a lot of people, but in It's something you can't control. So I understand that understand where I was, but while that That said, you didn't elect to have a mental. No, I didn't and she didn't elect to have a daughter with a mental illness which unfair all around me. I guess I'm just trying to alleviate some of the guilt of class yeah, but it's but now being apparent, you feel guilty or more yeah inherent girls with that is the job and you give Gill in as well Yes, so see see, did what was best at that time and and and forcefully said this. Is it so my cousin flew to where I was drove me. Where were you I was in, I was actually in Maryland, Virginia Canyon, remember but doing something else and I knew that moment and she said, but because I was opposed to go that day and flight in New York and be in New York and and start my life as before my new job- and I just knew I couldn't do it, and so she picked me up drove me straight to the hospital.
I checked in put on the gown and then wanted to turn a hundred immediately, because those like hold so. Where was the hospital in New York City? So she wanted me to be here so that eventually, when I cause I had to start work, and I believe it was- I don't, I don't think it was a set program. necessarily, but it was like they suggested after they did their first. You're doing changing how long you should stay. So I dont think I even knew how long I want edge the estate five days and and had the option for two to see that their best lake, several hours of the next two to lake transition back into reality. Take out of hand and that's how I started seeing him more often, and so he he suggested. Okay, if you ve done the hard work, let's not let that the waste and let's see each other twice a week, and not just for forty five minutes. You know he would see each other may be for a few hours. At first well yeah, this is recommending
yeah. He had two you had to, or else, and I knew I had to- and I can tell by the third part of the third day that it was going to do something which he said you did the hard work. What does that mean what what worker you doing when you're in the situation in the hospital it is, I feel like every single second was spent focusing on. Why am I here? How did I get here? How do I make this change for the future, and I had never seen that much time most the times that I had gone to therapy I went and it was pretty flippant and I dont know that buzz even honest with them. I dont think I ever I told him everything and it was the China's all day. Long just sitting with a doctor talking, you have you have hours with the doktor, but you also have group sessions you hat and that helps to because it gave me great perspective of other people with different types of mental illness, and it I mean being there in the first place. The whole point that I was there
the real wake up call for myself. It was a real moment of honesty. In myself, I have a disease. I'd never said that, a world. They were telling me you can say that not just say that, but that's why people have medication. It's why people have to go to these places and and go this far to get better any disease. You have to do something to make yourself better right. We all have to take action, and that was a real wake up moment and I thought ok, I'm ready to make this better now. So as a turning point and one when you show you ready to make this better and do what we want is that involve how does one this better, I mean just talking to a therapist about the underlying issues. Imagined medication may have literal. Honesty was first because I really had never told a therapist everything and said this was. I had gotten this this far and he didn't say you have to be honest with me. I think I was just ready,
Finally, this because I had known because I don't want to do this anymore. I dont want to end up back in a house, again, but I have gotten their. I got myself there, so I was gonna take. That and not let it go to waste, and I think it should be called rehab or something because there are real. There are right, but I think that it should be more just like an alcohol, drug and Sort of substance, abuse them to me is almost accepted because the stigma from going into a mental hospital cracked. Yes- and I had that since I was a kid- I remember- there is a place in West Michigan and that be that was like a threatened. You know, there's always kind of this. That's that's for if you ve really got ass, the deep andor, if you really whatever that is, but I had I needed this well before I had actually done it. Because I'll tell you there were several times within that time. You don't have your phone, not talking your family. It is really hard and soap at that, also as something that work. So I dont know how much you take away, but going into it without the stigma would be very helpful
so so it was honesty that that was the first thing I tell you just put in our name I actually set at all, and I said to myself. I am very and- and I've got a lot better at this, but I'm very good at forgetting- and I always blame it on, the terrible memory, and I think I do a little bit, but I think that I LA things out, knowingly block the mountain say that didn't happen as very good at that in my life, so there were tons of events and, things from childhood on all the way through college, through my early years, working in television that I had just blocked and then even in my the case of ending gauge meant. I ran away from that so fast. I didn't deal with any of the feelings that come along with it. I was like a modem ex job I'll see you guys litter peace, good luck with that house and that it is right, and they Irene Allow me to tell the story and full later gave me people were listening, may be curious in my I will come back to that,
Naturally I do the honors IRAN and in an that's, what I needed to do was sittin it either sit in my mess and talk about it, and I've never done it before with anybody, and I don't know if it was just him or us, because his combination of me being right, but he's very cool super called not at all like every therapist had had before was more like a moment ago. Mother, who, who allowed you to tell your story and didn't really give you direction? He gave me exact help and said: ok, here's what you need to do to work on that here are some tools that you can do when this type of thing happens. What are those tools so the best one for me is the fence, and so when I was a fence offence, and so I don't know if that's like a technical term, but that's what he called it and he said that a lot.
My problem in my life would be absorption so if you're upset, if I'm sitting across from you right now or if we were at work and you had a bad something happen, I would immediately take on your feeling anger frustration and I would count it as my fault, even though it likely had nothing to do with me, and I would then react and it would be inside of me. I would take someone else's and so learning how to from a co worker to my dad or my mom taking, at a separating it realized in the sound. So elementary it sounds like this is something I should have learned when I was three but I didn't. I didn't develop that way, and then I didn't it has got worse and worse, where I would just absorb everything from somebody else. So he taught me how to use this fence had put the fence up, and I have to reflect look at myself and say: did I have something to do with this? Could you can be responsible for if you did have some thing you can do watch out for that most of the time, it's not gonna be that the other person's feelings are gonna, be their feelings and you have to say
I'm sorry, you feel that way and then go forward. Its simple as part of psychology, and it should be built into all of us, but I think it's not and for me it would spiral into whatever they felt. I would let it accumulate from the other person from the at the grocery store. All the way to you know my best friend, and especially, I had something to do with it. It was over then I would fully take on an end and be bigger than whatever they were feeling and make my emotions and that's it's almost selfish cause you're, taking everything from everybody, putting it in yourself and then dramatize in it and making it your own world. So I think what I ate. It probably had something to do when my parents divorced and how I lived how old regime seven year and my my dad is silent, strong but also when he gets angry. You feel it and you know it and so much worse. My mom is the odds
that she's extremely demonstrative. Everything upset Sarah from I mean we'd, be it the bank and there was lost her money. Are unaware that ever happened when she'd be screaming for a manager, yelling breaking things in public, and so we had these two extreme. And I don't know who to live like or who to make happy, because you want to make your parents happy, and I couldn't figure that out occurrences that out in my own life, and so I would take on whatever I thought that they wanted me to deal with. It must be in your head. Is you figure out your own parenting style think I never think about whether I never won my son, the think about whether he's making me happy I noticed, though he asks the earth has the right
but I dont want there to be a burden on Ireland are reviewing. My parents are great honour member feeling, but I had to make them happy right, but you have to ask: why is what everyone wants? It? Yes, he's luckily asking for it, so communicating that he wants to know which is great. I definitely never asked. Are you happy I just assumed, and that was a big problem. Have yes, sir you? It was your friend that it was my fault and people say that that led, the kids think the divorce their fault, but I didn't I had from my dad kind of the silence where I wouldn't communicate any of that and I'd be very shut down about it, but I would do everything in my power to be perfect to be to do whatever. I could to be sure that everybody around me was as happy as they could be so it comes into. Then it turns into a people pleasing
due to an extreme. So will you talked about the tools that this doktor was giving you a defense was one of them anything else and did did it get to the point of medication self with him now? So this was idle medicated first time that I've gone out of aid, and I was in the most intense therapy- and I didn't do medication so almost I tried plenty medications that point. There was a reason he didn't want to cause. He thought that this is something that we could do by meeting regularly by giving me tools, because the difference I felt even in the weeks after was surreal, it was like a new, a new mind had been given to me and it was just getting the right tools it it's like that's what I want for my kit. Speaking of my kids, I want to make sure that they hear this type of mental lino exercise. Basically, like those things, are very important. Can't hurt, tell em, can't hurt to have them use offence and to to to communicate that that something, even though that I think that that should be inherent in a lot of people-
I think those are the important things that we should all learn from a very young age, so people losing their progress are really in the kind of that the practicality. So are there other tools we can talk about? I think- the other one that I know the honesty with yourself as it's one thing to say that, but I do now, and maybe this is a little meditative. I do now a you're not supposed to go back in the past. I do I go back in my day and I try to who says you should go back in your purse. A lot of people say they re. That's like a thing like the anomaly in the moment: arriving decorate, misconstrue, irrationally right, I've obviously misconstrued it in the past. to be in the moment so much that the past didn't have been right, there's that so I actually do it as a as a almost prayerful moment, where I wrap up at the end of the day, and I say this might well- that's like it's, like I d, Brief of a great tv show, you wanna know you after our showed you, may something went wrong. You want to address it. Something went great, you want to address it, so I do that with myself a check it,
in that helps me and did I react well and by using the right tools and the one thing that my mom has said for probably most my life, which is fine, because she's able to let some girl when she has a blow up it, doesn't the next moment because she let it out and she got it out, and so I do have an emotion. It's ok to have that emotion, just go back and oh back at the end of the day- and I say why did I you know, did I go too far today? Did they go far enough? Did I address it? Jack, Munich, Kate, well, and that's been really helpful and was specially with being married. I feel like I I kind of go back and then I think he appreciates
Come to him and say you know, this really does actually really bother me and then only been six hours and it hasn't been six months and I haven't let it accumulate and accumulate in the my feelings get out. So the communicating after you take that meditative moment. I think is really important objectives in so many other questions ass. You understand I get to this point in the park cast all time where we were where Mcgowan. Ok, I wanted to stay with your biography and get back to serve you current ginger yeah later so there is a bunch of wild stuff. The that you talk about in the book ancillary, tell some of those stories and then we'll get it at will get back to happy. Endings you're not respond. I mean that's not where the book, it's totally worth about, because the happy and had not yet begun to do you gotta do the wild stuff for sure. Ok.
So the engagement you ran away from yes, some twenty three years old and I am working in Flint Michigan and I had to make, as in my role as a meter, allergist and most people don't know and tv, you make nothing. I mean like bless than nothing. I think it was less than men. wager had at the beginning, cracked, since my first real full time. Job and Otis got sick. My dog and I had to take him to the vat and cost hundreds of dollars and, like all gosh array, so I started portending again back home across the state and Grand Rapids, Michigan and wives they're doing a wedding? I met a guy. I have had several so your community across the state to do Meyer algae on tv and then to barter and then to buy TAT, makes you found a more local d artagnan. It was a really good, but it was home like I could stay at home in says, visiting home, but also making way more than I probably would have anywhere in tv. So at one of the weddings I meet a guy and we start dating and six months later, were engaged. It was
asked I didn't even live in the same city is him, but I was just about to transition and got my job in Grand rapids, so we felt that coming. I think we both thought when in a grand rapids when you get out a college and you have not married yet you're pretty slow like here. The old lady was seven cats already, so I was feeling motivate oh look and he's freight guys amazing man, so I said we need a long engagement just because, probably because at one point one eye the day we got in age. I called you know, you call your mom and youth and they relate water. How ruins really surprised them is really fast, called, and you know when your phones on a little too loud and as a called my friend Felicia knows legal. engaged and she said to her like that, It was soon so we did this
agent and, as I went through in there's a great seen in wedding crushers, that's a weird thing to say, but towards the end, the I think I'll officials, the act is there no Rachel MC atoms and she sitting there in everyone's planning the wedding around her. But you can see she doesn't want to be there and has nothing to do with it and she's confused and doesn't want to confront anyone cause. It's all happening it happens in weddings, things start rolling dresses. getting ordered and of a sudden your entire wedding as planned, and then you wake up one day like I did the day after we put our invitations into the mail and I had arrived it will come to Jesus moment and thought. I can't do this and those invitations can't go out, because I did not want the confrontation of telling everybody that I had just invited to my wedding. Actually I can't do that, so I run physically run too. the post office and wait for the postmaster crying by the the mailbox
he comes over and says: is there something that you need from inside? There has moved in the actually opens the Big Blue box, and I start picking out the civil silver envelopes and he starts helping me and then he says this has happened before well, like you're, not alone, and I nice, guy, really nice and illegal by that we're not supposed to others, have not don't touch mail, but wherever and hitherto we picked olive them out. I brought them back to my fiance. I said I can't do it. I eddies he soon. Maybe I don't. I don't know what it is, but I just can't get married right now and he is like this is called. This is normal within twenty four hours. Those invitations were back in the mail because I felt awful because he was right. Of course, it's How do people go through? That scenario? Got got talked back into it. I waited the three weeks I was so painfully, then I looked crazy, like Rina people do it before there were
They try to get in great shape anyway, but I was so stress and anxious that I dont think I eaten in weeks, and I just was gaunt, and you know people at work or late hour. You, okay, I was not doing well, and it was just three weeks and my grandmother and I were outside and I had plenty of people had told me: you don't have to get married, But no one had really like stared me in the eyes and said something I can see that you can't get married like you physically cannot get married you're gonna die on the scene, it shrivel away, and she said this isn't right. If it's not right, don't you and it was something about having her my alma that are respected this woman, so not, and she was so conservative and you know all the things that you I was so worried about letting everybody down. I have listing myself and for the first moment I listened to her. I was honest with myself and said: no, I really can't get married and then I called my wedding off again and for the second time,
that girl, awful I mean it was so hard and his family was so disappointed and because they were the most pure sweet and they still are just a glorious family he's in meat. There's nothing wrong with this person. It just wasn't right for me and I shouldn't I was too especially then to volatile and two messed up to be in such a really put together place. I think I would have ruined his life. I think I would have really hurt his family much more than ever engagement had. I stayed in that place in that time in my life and you end up going on, you serve moving as people do in local news from vaguer city to bigger city The way you you had some relationships, or at least one relationship that I remember you were still and when I met you, that was not healthy, and this is the part of the book to that I think so many women and men, not just women, but of course a lot of women have had this, where unhealthy relationship doesn't matter how smart you are
or how talented you are or or what experiences you ve had. I think an abusive, manipulative relationship can get ahold of anybody, and this is the part of the book that I'm the most fearful of telling, but is also the part that I am the most excited about telling, because I feel that there are going to have so many people say. That's what I mean. I hope they read it and say that's what I'm in right now, and maybe this is maybe this is the catalyst where they can go and finally ended or find the confidence in India because I sure wish I would have earlier. I wish that I could have gotten out. We know the day after an and figured that out, but there's very thing: very spider web like in very physical and magnetic about these relationships and if you ve ever had won, but it's a strange place in it's weird, because I thought my husband now, he knows himself very well with you ever in something like this. He said I dont get why you stayed yeah,
I understand your things are different personality times. I don't think I've been in one of these relationships- men, but they're, just impersonator and he's here if I knew it was bad or someone was treating me poorly. I left immediately. You know and use very black and white, and I think I always went gray and and especially in this relationship. It got gray very fast and I made a mistake- and I did I cheated on this person early in our relationship, but that cheating and fallible that that problem and in know in me, then gave him a whole pass forever to treat me poorly, and that was really would would made this relationship. I guess extended, because I wanted to prove to him that I was perfect. I want him to be happy. I wanted to even if I was gonna leave, I wanted to make sure to leave when he would have nice things to say about me when I had. Moving to him that wasn't that what that mistake, that I made was not me. Houlihan
you know that I wanted to say it was a very weird. They needed him to believe something that it was never gonna believe, and then it just gave him that moment and that in time that he could go back to four years to treat me poorly tree, you poorly what were sold his his type of now. I know as abuse I think at that time. I just thought it was the way that he loved, which is really strange to say too was to build you a build you up, but you were everything you are you're the biggest thing in your life and then the moment we have were in an intimate place, usually away from others to tear you down and make you feel like you need him and so on. constant attack of who I was, who s around myself. What with and what was wrong with me, and so it just be it. I can go story. Story. There was never a time where we had just a neutral time together. It was always extreme and was always extremely good or really really bad to the point of
towards the end of the story with him. I'm thinking about my life and if anybody back in my real life knew about what was happening, and I thought this is it. I have to leave so I remember your dating life. When you arrived here, we'll have to go into How much do you set me up and blind dates? Yes, I was wrong or we buy beyond our movement. I think, and then I remember when Bianca and I had brunch for the first time with you and your now husband. I think I send you an email, rafters, Seti, guess you, you have to marry this area and how much of it? prince, did meeting Ben playing your mental wellness and where getting you too, where you are right now So I have another bad relationship and Benoy says that all he had to do is get me flowers and he was left the best thing. I d
met in his life, but beyond that benefits of really special person when I first met and then I had that other thing he was. Still kind of around when I first met Ben and then knows all this. This is not like. You know something I'm telling for the first time my husband's going to hear it I'm at the end he was still kind of we weren't dating enough that I had to be exclusive to this person. Cuz. This person was never with me really and I go on a date with then like this guy is really to me one day and he basically told me that he was gonna marry me and then I don't know when we saw you guys, probably by the spring, but in the meantime I broke up with Ben twice, because I wanted to still be treated badly, and I would go back to my therapist. I was still seeing my therapist at least once sometimes twice a week, and I would say what am I doing help me and I was being fully honest with him. You know I I want to end with this guy, but I can't stop being treated poorly, I'm so addicted to it.
Needed it. After coming off of the other relationship, I needed someone to hurt me and so Ben is the opposite, and only not gonna hurt you he's gonna, build you up and make you the queen of life, and it was that was so scary. So I think by the time maybe you're talking about, I knew- and I had finally a year and a half of therapy since I had gone to the hospital had. Finally, gotten the tools together believed in myself enough that I believe that I deserved love and Ben. all love and he's all communication and he's everything that was so scary and he's all confrontation Ben as MR confrontation, not that he loves it, but he just does it because you have to cause that's what life's about,
something I always ran away from. Two was link. If something is going wrong, a village were not competition in that he likes to fight, but if there is an issue he wants to talk about, he deals with it immediately. If it's so scared, it still is, then we don't have them that often because we don't have a lot to confront, but when we do now, I've gone four years later to the point with him: were I'm bringing it up now more proud Actually we have this to talk about in heroic, ok, you know in his very good his family. The way he grew up is the opposite of how I did and he had every encouragement to speak his mind and have every emotion he wanted to have, and he still has its he's not perfect, but he's pretty darn close following a partner in life. So let's talk about. Where were you are now and how do you stay balanced and is does depression? a creep and then you're, what do you do when that happens then, almost so concerned when I had the baby, because just the hormones alone, a postcard offers a part in this
huge, and she was so worried that the imbalance there would get me am. I was didn't, fortunately didn't have any of it doesn't mean that I this time. So it's something that I'm going to be parked up to. If I ever have a transition again, a big career transition, a life transition. I think that's something that I'm going to be ultra sensitive until we're ready. for my warning signs do I have moments in times were specially my pregnancies of definitely had Leto its hormonal, also its influenced by that I fed moments both with Adrian. I was it's, it's not funny, but I really thought I was getting to the low point again. I called my therapist and I said cuz. I haven't really seen him regularly cuz I haven't needed to, and I couldn't get out of my funk basically within that first couple weeks of the pregnancy He said sure I can see you and I was like Reno therapy. What honeymoon, if I needed therapy, I just needed to not be pregnant pet
but I haven't had a moment ever since I went to the hospital where I've wanted to end my life, and so I haven't gotten to that and I haven't really had moments where I can't bring it up to then and just say: hey, can we talk this through I'm feeling low? Because of this sort communication of it has kept me not only on us with myself, but that check and at the end of the day telling him and then he is very empty, so he so helpful. Five. A problem at work is like so go talk to him about it, so go do as an he's that therapist. Let me just say my pick. My opinion is that I think the voters, incredibly brave and poorly will help alot of people. What are you hope? The outcome is it? I hope that it seemed that way. Hope that someone just like the couple, reactions have seen so far where they say. I saw you as someone so put together and that no one I can imagine that this happened to you too. That's where I met or what person said today I mean that really dark place. I mean that dark shut room and I can't believe I saw you
Just randomly saw tweet that you were in. I just a little accepts of the book to get people understanding what it's about, and so they can see a little bit into it and she's. She wrote me this whole email about how much that meant to know that this person she's been watching for five years. Thinking has this glossy smiley life went through the same things her or something similar, and I hope that my hopes already been achieved there. I think that it's just in that one story and the other thing is, and I've gotten better. This is something my mom's very good of egg and give her a hard time in the book, but my mama's very curious about other people. and she, the opposite, Nude used a joke that I was on my phone all the time. That's you know pretty defensive mechanism, because you don't want to have an emotion or look at anybody or interact with anyone because I don't see you as much another. Your bigshot weekday makes better much better and much more like your nowhere, but that was that was partly
My problem is part of my problem. Is I don't know how to interact with people? It was. It was almost like a social anxiety of sorts because an uncommon yeah not but my mom is the opposite. She's. The person who, in the grocery store line, finds out that the woman, front of her just had a miscarriage Unum saying she s so many questions and she so into other people stories. It's that genuine curiosity and care for other people that I've tried to work on, and I hope that this when people see it they'll go no way that that that person that I John TV they're, going to learn my story, and hopefully it inspires them to learn someone else's story, because I think when we do this, when we sit down and have a frank conversation, it inspires honesty with yourself and inspires on it, see what
we're all in this together, we're all we're all going to face our personal storms, we're all going to have to weather them and then going to have to help somebody after and that's the parallel a little cheesy, but that that I found in that real natural disasters is that people go through those states. They have shocked. They have finger their frustration, all those the Kubler Ross. You know them and then, at the end, most of those everybody's help, each other and the best story that came out of that was mattress back and now we know him and we get to hear his already or for those it also matches. Mac is the guy who helped during Harvey and let people stay in his show room where he has mattresses and furniture and just was so giving in loving in such a great character that now I know him now. You know whoever's good morning. America knows him and his it will and story of his life has been told and should be, and then that person who was sleeping on the bed, they got that three beautiful place to stay in their worst. Our will find some sort of beauty
that person story and then the will to tell their story, and each of us has a story. Each of us has were all messages to some extent. I want people to know how much of a mess I was so that they can then go forward and Somebody else and you know that our law not at all yet a huge part of it. I didn't definitely messier than a lot of people, but it would be good for those folks, oh yeah, but even for those people that are a little they haven't had those extremes. I think it's good for them to know that there are people out there that that so that we're not judging immediately when you walk up to somebody and have this lake. While I know her life she's got great dress Then here and make up every day: well, you just tell you a little somethin italian, story about me drunk under a bridge in Chicago the true, almost almost dying and TAT S. Just a suicide note
that one was the Dublin was. The kind of these are that's. The stories in the book are all kind of moments. In my life, where it hits me why we have to make a change. These are the the climb axis. You know that's what made each chapter kind of makes sense to me, Is that it that's why it was full of other masses on the way, but that one is where I'm under, and I should have done much. But let us remember that wasn't a blizzard and I was a homeless woman came and offered me her hat, because I was in such bad shape. and I realize I needed to make a change like not just drinking but just being a disaster. You're, a bridge in Chicago. I was brand new in this town and I was making a mess of myself and I could have frozen. It was just bad in so those are those those moments where you take a look look in the mirror and I was just lucky and allow these situations. I think some people are less lucky. They don't get the help of the support that they have. You know that I had, and so I just want them to know you ve been there
under a regiment of terrible choice, and now you got out of it now we gotta make it better off of Russia. We have you toys. all with meditation is awaited deal with depression in trying to enshrine the heat, and so I started by just look. I know you said in the car producer in the guy I mean I'm well, I mean like it's not perfect in the car. Are you driving have now you're the guy? I think I'm editing back. Of course I do. You know what I was a no, no, it's definitely not an ok, you're gonna learn and that's the place that I have achieved some sort of, I think a woman of meditation, I wouldn't even call it into meditation but are you yes, certainly just in Turkey is very interesting and important when you,
What do you have in your mind when you say moment of meditations I've tried this light. I don't know if I read it or if I read it there, if I listen to the podcast for somebody was speaking about it, but I try the light in where I see a green and blue cuz. I have to clear it first, so I see green and blue coming into my nostrils and then I exhale red, and so this allows me to get into a place of not thinking about other things. Instead, I can get, and that's only after I've done that for a certain amount of time have I had those glimpses of, I think real meditation like a real thoughts of not faultlessness, but yet listen, it's right where you, where you're gone and you've lost just that brief. But mine so fast and I haven't been able to get you sit for leg. How long I suffer well below me. Just we just get to this issue of real meditations. I think I have good news for you, so you should just completely explode that
the whole, like clearing your mind, thoughtlessness just exploded. Yes, It is a massive obstacle to what actually is real Moliere real meditation is. seeing clearly how absolutely chaotic Irma are sitting there trying to focus on one thing. It may be visualizing light coming into the nostrils. I would say a similar one is just feeling your breath coming I'm going out. Usually you know at the spot words most prominent, like your nose, your chest, your belly and then what's gonna have Italy is going to be besieged by all sorts of crazy to do list and resentment yet, and all of that is totally fine the whole game is to notice that have I've gotten distracted by this monkey mind and now I'm going start again another actually what I'm doing insult cycle? Yes, okay, so that's great,
So you can make anything into him in my wife but Bianco, you know he's gotten superinduced cycle of of late. There anything we're your. Are we paying attention what's happening right now? He I, then you get distracted a million times. You notice, you ve, become distract them and start over. The reason why that's valuable the reason why that is real meditation, in my view, is because when you see how chaotic and often disorganized and certainly self referential a negative your mind is then your less likely to be owned by it. Then, when Euro you're not meditating later in the day and you this thought of. Like oh yeah, I should say something really mean Ben right now or I should lose my temper with my kid. You can recognize o this just happening right now. That is the point and that's the the prayerful moment. I call it at the end of the day, for me is that is that you know back moment too, but even better to have it in any moment yet right when you urge to to
say something you will later regret is a rising or to say something I should say instead of not so yet the affably more mine, because mine is does not say it rises to to wait. Until end of the day are not the right way to do it. Well, none at all if it were waiting to be ended, that has worked for you and you don't know so much health here, it's not either, or here it's just about adding. So I think if you set up this, it is true that you can reach states of where you're so so traded on the on whatever it is your meditating on that your thoughts can kind of a for a while, but setting that up as the goal impedes progress towards the goal, because the inured like beating yourself up the moon, valuable sir, but lie glamorous thing to do Invitation is just to be like marinating in all of the nonsense, so
but the nonsense doesn't own you and by the way this just makes meditation much easier, defines it down and that's the ok. So that is the one last tool that I keep saying I feel like. I was one of those things I wish someone would have said earlier to me as I do this every time someone. Is upsetting me frustrating me any of those emotions where I don't know. What's going to happen next, I don't know how I'm going to react later on in the day. I always do the check in is this going to matter tomorrow, Is this going to matter a week from now and will it matter in a year those are all knows or if their no from the top its I'd I stopped carrying. and that one has to say I think what I will use to do was. It would go to well nothing matters and then, would go too far in case there are things that are going up you, are or or be instrumental in your life a year from now in those things should be, attended to and those things you should say. If it's something at work, it's never gonna make it to me. That's something that regular
really done, and even when I started working with you, I put in their Fonzie, probably say My life save Marietta very funny, guy very funny and very tune with people as much as he knows people. He knows how to read them. I think he do that I needed it wasn't just his humour. It was like a carrying you, warmth and in his very good at that, and I put in there. I think he saved me several times, because I would have such bad show in my mind. You know that it was like the end of my career and why I am a. Why am I love? Why am I here? Why am I notice those questions? Work are starting to flow back, even with all the help, I'd gun and he would say or do something that would shake me out of that moment. It would
put me in the does this matter tomorrow mode and I kind of wanted to come back tomorrow. I wanted to come back and see what finally had to say and what you know you guys were all so welcoming and awesome, and I we had such a great time. It was a very healthy atmosphere for me to be in career wise, especially at that beginning. I think I done it a lot of other things. Maybe it wouldn't have been, but he was really helpful and I told him Please have a seat at the book Party next week in week. Yes, funds elect the star, so let me just say one last thing and then and then I want, and then I have one last question the just in terms of ways in which you can an meditate if you're in the back of a car and you're driving to your being driven to work, whatever issued or whenever just one and you can do, is just try to feel your breath coming and going out like pick one spot words most. Robinson? Is my lights ray you usually
You had a let's go. Let's stay with a light sleep, you tell me what you know with Lena balloon like an Aqua God and then exhale rat, and are you feeling the breath? Are you actually feeling it, ok to where you know in my nose into my I'd. Take it enjoy deep breathing. Where do yes, ok, Joe it is not an type of meditation. I know very well, but let's say you're doing this year, doing you d breathing, where your breathing in the red and out the awkward aqua in an awkward out there really out that? Ok, so and then I think you should do. I think what you should just add to this thing, you're already doing which, by the way you have to do for very long, is just when you become distracted, make a little note of what distracting me. What am I to do list was it anger was in the dark thought and then welcome it in and go back to the breath and in that, in that move of, like being like cooled with, whatever is coming up in your head over time, you just develop a much less aggressive attitude to yourself and
all the stuff, that's good. Just come up in your mind: has less of less purchase, less aid, governs you less that is really helpful, can ask something then so I've noticed one not negative way. Another meditation teacher, so this is like unlicensed surgery. Itches replicate Ben gives me. The therapy is I figure, but if I so the one thing that's come of this of me. So what I also due at the end of that of the breathing- and it's not that long ride, but I'm just using it for what it is great. I guess at that point I usually associate linked to do list in the night. I think I knew that I should not know that. That's the chaos and say no, I want to I think, about clear, herb, see it clearly. I guess once I do that I then make, and maybe this is where I'm going wrong. I then make like a little bit of a statement of the day.
like I'd like to do this better today at the end of the medical. Yes, what's wrong with her, I think I'm putting a little too much pressure. I myself because recently- and maybe this is pregnancy talking specially during this pregnancy. I've said to myself: I want lino, especially at work. I have heard timing, social, sometimes it's just not doesn't come naturally to me and I have said I really want to open up and look. other people stories and do this thing, and I dont know that I'm is succeeding in so like every day, I'm having the same goal- and I dont know them achieving it said- is that charges will release that part of the meditation Prime Minister. I think you should just hold it more lightly in a more for giving way now? So it's like ok, my aspiration- and this is a tough one for me- aspiration- is to be more open to and with other people, and you just know you're fail million times have failed,
and that is saying it to my aunt over Thanksgiving she's lake is a part of it is or use ripping in magic incantation that stuff it doesn't exist or you can do, is have a gently held aspiration and be forgiving. When you fail and that's an I guess, that's what I'm doing right then you know that's what she said in a actually made me feel better cause. A big part of it, too, is me trying to be social in my life. I dont want her Adrian with my anti social. None of that So I don't wanna go to his school and be the shut down. Mom, there's other moms engaging, and I have to it's not that I don't because I do I do care once I learn their story, but I have to be more like my mom, where I want to be more open social, all those things that he and I want to be the one didn't know. I didn't need a family picture on the wall. But you know I want. I want to help him, and so those things are my goals and I just haven't achieved them yet so you may ever achieve them, but you'll get marginally better. There's a reason why this whole things got ten percent. I know it's just about. Like did the
age. Ervic you have already achieved is identifying the goal and then just say in or at a minute just try to get better at the Buddhist through this whole thing that actually do which, as you know, totally impossible. Like May. All beings everywhere be free from suffering completely impossible, but I am a site that better yet I like it to others my forgiveness in that the excellent you're never gonna get there, but at the end of the day, can I do a little bit of a retrospective some retrospective about what was I Dirk were not one, that's from going back, so during my prayer for a moment. At the end of the day, I go back to those. How did I achieved this today? Did I learn something about Brad at work you know did whenever it is, and that opens me at least to knowing no you'd tenant and then tomorrow morning, I will do it again all arms. I think this is all great all I'm trying to do in the spirit of unlicensed therapy and even the fact that I don't
Anything about anything. Kiev appear to have a pike, s which qualifies me. Four, zero is to say just to take some of the self directed aggression out of it. So when you get distracted invitation, a somebody gave me this great little thing to say, which is welcome to the party. Ok to do list has come in work the party back to the breath and then that just create overtime like later in the day when you're you have rotation was somebody would instead planning dinner, buried call this is here, happened? I didn't invite us on my fault. It's a welcome the party back to the conversation, and this is way change happens in my experience to be healthier because of it. I hope so although you seem pretty damn healthy right now. So this is the last thing plug zone Kay breathing of people who, like Gimme, where can I get the book work, I value in social media. We everything everything ginger cell is and then give it all. If you are a person who
made mistakes and wants to forgive yourself or start to or has dealt with depression. I think this theirs. Is it the wide range of people? I wanna get that out there because they think it get stuck on your loss register obeyed and I hope so any they want, suggest a good red and you get to learn my dirt. You know which had always fun absolute, but then you can find me at ginger Underscore Z on Twitter. I will give us the name of the book. Oh sorry, ass from natural disaster. I cover them. I am one in the available wherever you get your Bobby Bookstores Amazon, autos places and then I would say that joint meeting social media of Facebook, I'm on, I have a fan- page and they interact with everybody. That's a big part of my life. Still twitter, with an underscore and instagram within underscore at ginger, Underscore z, and your husband, Givesthem, eleven days there and then those new show its antsy empty across the nation at nine, a m and he also wants a weaker everyday everyday. Ok, it's an hour, so we can have a hundred forty episodes based in
Asheville faith, hills, executive producer, caterpillars, his awesome, co host. They are getting long, so well the only promises to Nashville, but we are loving it and have to say this, sold to city thing is kind of workin. Well, it's actually really nice we focus on would talk about like focus, we focus our work, I gotta when the baby goes to bed, I'm asleep by eight thirty, which I never was able to do, cause I'd, now staying here? The baby when you get to work through the mornin? That's the problem of our poor nanny has said take on my hours would really hard, ok, she's doing a great job items. That's some one that I said in my things last night. I am so grateful for, and I would like to do this for her, because I could treat her more in this way or this way that does. I am she's coming at five, a m for if I am an instinctive, seven p m, while a lotta days, though, I would just say so. You re identified. That is a goal. Just don't kick yourself in there. Every time you mess up get better,
adjusting work, which he that's all that's all we got here are your awesome, you note of always loved you so tat its ground. A very proud of you for aid is book, it's credibly, Braves and am happy to see which too happy place. Thank you I am too and the other thing the clouds dont last forever that something else that you have to remember in those moments the camp has that's not how the atmosphere works said like a dvd, whether that you judge of English, ok, that does it for another edition of the ten percent happier podcast. If you liked it, please take a minute to subscribe rate us also. If you want to suggest topics, you think we should cover or guests that we should bring in hit me up on twitter at Danby. Harris importantly, I want to thank the people who produce this podcast Lauren Efron just go ahead and the rest of the folks here at ABC, who helped make this thing possible. We have tons of other broadcasts, you can check them out at ABC new broadcasts dot com.
I'll talk to you next Wednesday, there's not a person in America who hasn't been impact it in some way by the corona I was pandemic, but it every community there are pockets of people who were soon.
every day this is my Monday last day of the cylinder stretch, photos from one about these or America's essential workers, the people who are keeping moving. I turn into a homespun mom and now in a new programmes from ABC News you gonna hear from damage. Was she went back to my office on cybercrime because he is not here and making sure that our community hostility smiled faintly Lorraine? This is the essential inside the from the emergency room, the police cruiser to the czech outline. You hear what this pandemic sounds like the people putting themselves norms, which is always a risk brain is home to re. Kids are my husband or my appearance, listened to the essentials inside the curve on Apple podcast, River podcast, him.