« The Adam Carolla Show

Jo Koy Live From Dallas (ACS July 27)

2020-07-27 | 🔗
Adam opens today’s live podcast talking about a shooting at a funeral in Chicago, how Coronavirus has affected first class air travel, and sales people not knowing enough information about what they’re trying to sell you. Bryan and Dawson then join the show and Adam comes up with a new metric on how to measure if someone’s lived a full life. After that, Jo Koy comes in and grills Adam about the time he got drunk and ordered too much food on a comp tab at Jo’s restaurant in Las Vegas. Mike Dawson fills in for Gina Grad on the news and the gang talks about: Drive through strip clubs in Texas, Mike Tyson fighting again, the Washington Redskins new name, and a man getting caught on security cameras stealing a 50lb dildo. As the show wraps, Adam takes suggestions for a round of ‘Adam Carolla is Unprepared’. PLEASE SUPPORT TODAY’S SPONSORS! SimpliSafe.com/ADAM JB Weld - World's Strongest Bond Geico.com
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
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live from the address in Improv in Dallas Texas. This is the atom Corolla Show Adams Guess today, Jill coins with Ball Brian, on sound of acts, my dolls and feeling in for news and spirited round of Adam Corolla is gone. Prepare now, don't worry just because the last time they performed live together was sold out merely for there not gonna phone it in that capacity. Addison Improv thanks here for criminal appreciated, thanks for getting a book like that, I just flew in for a merger so I got a couple of notes on that. Well,
bringing Dawson a ball brine. If you, Joe COIN, could join us later. I was a little nervous in Chicago, because I heard there was a shooting at a funeral a few days ago, which did not worry me that part of the whole story that worried me is when they shot at the people at the funeral. The people of the funeral return and fire. That's a true story. That's this! every part of that story, not that there are no. role not that the person there at the funeral for was shot earlier in the week, but that they returned fire last year arrives
For my man, I couldn't imagine like my step tat John, like worshippers Glock and somebody drove by. I was travelling through O Hare Airport this afternoon and I went to the bathroom before we got on that shuttle boss at the car, the rent, a car, I drop off port and I took a leak like I always do and then I walked right out like I always do, but I noticed does it do next to me? Who is it this sink in that fucking I was like scrubbin in for a surgery like he had set up. Do is look at elbows uses taken the first layer skin off and I was like you do and then I thought I had a whole covert thing like everyone's going nuts with the Robin in the scrub and why did the math? There's? No Wars on the bathroom at the airport. You just walk in touch her
cock in leave. So does your dick Kobe, like what while there may be sure wash your fuckin has varied touch your dick, which is. I did that math. I was like I know where my Cox Ban for the last eighteen to twenty four hours, cat fur on it, but it's fine doesn't He knows donating where the cat had been sleeping on. The bad weather did feel weird scrubbin and along with this guy, but on the other hand fuck it not only and not least, my dick. My right dick still has that new dicks it's like so christine- really not enough of it for a covert defined a home. It's like it's
surface area. We were too much information, gotcha. or too little information about their parents were kind of Dick wrath revered. I had this thing. I flew out of a lax couple days- go flew into a Chicago and every kind of wondering like what's first class, oh by the way, this is biggest problem. Whitey has its like. What's first class gonna be like now, we can it proves that we're gonna get box like this. A serious now that now this shit is on an what are we gonna get a first class and what we're gonna get. Is we get a box and I got the like tapirs box on the way out, just a
with a little thing, a hum is more cheese. Cracker, it's all fuck. It or well in and Logan's run at its horror of all, and we should all this kill ourselves, but I guess Good news is that if the plane like the fuckin- and caught on fire. I'd be like oh shit, we're gonna die, then I'd. Look at this box ago. Ok, almost tastes like ass, like of fifty six, it's gonna to be a lateral move. We hit decided that mountain by this this this crazed lack of information that everyone has all the time like you don't think we're it's like. You go in your car dealership and you go how much horse our does the F one. Fifty have and the various limit check on that, and then he comes and then you go. What is
rage. What is the mileage on a car with a full tango than reject worship? And here look it's a fuck. It's it's a sixty three thousand dollar item. How come you don't know anything about it? I looked at a condo Malibu a month ago. It was one point now, million dollars and I walked in- and I said our guy what's a square footage is like checked approach. Did what two million dollars we give whatever the square portages shore plain and the woman handing out boxes and I got the homeless box? I got the tapirs box on the way out, but a few hours ago and work permits for my hair she's like I got a couple boxes in my basket now and she like you want the tap a spark. Jerry went the original box and I said what regional boxes is like. I don't know how many foot
jobs, you have like two and a half jobs on this fucking flight and someone else asked what was in the original, but we don't work for the fucking airline. How would you know what was in the original box? I go united original yeah. I gotcha many pretzels and cheese wish you're the guy before me. Didn't What was in the back? She went and got the brochure and handed in the fact that there are three things in the box. She could commit them to memory and its bid them out at me and then I thought earlier on the flight in, I asked for vodka and soda, and then I sit down lameter line that chick when yeah, I don't know- and I got Galileo is. Is Is a mob closet? You couldn't do a little fuck, an inventory when you're hot on the plane, sweet cheats.
look just luck, I do we have a lamb and still we have lines. I will have an answer for you not like don't know, and then I that Jesus Christ, let's work this way Do I love field? Are we going to die Dallas Fort Worth anyway? I don't know what's our cruising altitude gonna, be I don't have it? The brochure the sermon C drive
where's our way into gear up or down cheese. I don't know you gotta read the box. Still a good guy. Next to me, got the original box and peeping over my shoulder spent fuel with a fucking receiving a pass. The year passed a man of color in the airport in Chicago and he's wearing a t, shirt and a t. Shirt said. You love our culture. Why don't you love us I thought, but then I also thought you know it could be worse like you could be armenian. Why we don't like you or the culture ride observantly, if your black at least you're, not a to ride over that what better than they are? Maybe it's or do it right?
Weren t shirt mighty one moment I didn't say it to me, and I just I just started walked impasse. That's over, like a joke to rats sure we bring up who d got. We got brine waiting in the wings, we got doors in waiting in the wings, and Jeanne Brad is not around, though she's actually working tonight on her terrestrial radio station. So we'll see now the blown out a little there, we go Dawson brine. But a Texas Merriwig out, see here with Elsie. We were. We try this one off by the US.
I made no here and I I had an interesting thought. I wanted to share it with the Dawson and Brian and end the audience, which is. I had this concept. when I was walking around Chicago today and I think myself: oh, we gotta vow for the room- and it was a hundred box in this act- cover parking how expensive the valet is in the valley parking is in Chicago Blah, blah blah and I had this sad thought, which is, I don't think my dad has ever paid for parking. my dad, is gonna turn eighty nine in a month and he's gonna die and he will have never paid for parking and you go
move Jim Corolla, but wait a minute. That means you never left the Fucking house. It means you never went on vacation. It means you ve. Never rent a car means you ve, never been Maui means you never went downtown to see a play means you never went to a killer stake how's. It just means you didn't anything, and then I thought I was thinking of you- bribes, that want to oppose this theory, because I'm always looking for measurements like ways measure your life like our did. You have a full life, the amount of spend it the amount of cash you put out for parking in your life, the most means. You ve lived a super full life. That means alone. Val ways at a lot of cool restaurants. It means a lot. Travel right a lot of hotel valet's, I'm not talking about parking eaters, and I'm not talking about you- know paying thirty bucks a month do up whenever for your job and the parking whenever there is,
I mean the mount you're out of pocket for parking in your life. Is this a good way to measure a full enrich life? Ball brine? Yes, it's a great metric fuel, trip comes when someone has a chronic disease the hospital hospital for. Do you think your daddy, even knows that you have to pay for parking in most places now I don't. I don't know that even those who would be confused if you said the phrase most places to hear what do you mean? There's only one place, it's myself, that's where my ass found a home, he added the man when I realized. I don't love first things. First You go out to eat a sizzler or a golden corral. You don't have to pay for parking
you got away nice day cow. Is you have to pay for parking? You go on vacation. You have to pay for parking Dawson. What do you think they'll? All of them is also now lay you have to pay a fee premium for beach parking ideally, the beetle no way, no way, Dawson Dots, yet I think on this one you definitely on the right track as living in LOS Angeles. You automatically learn usually the hard way that, if you can find parking, that seems free and downtown allay. You just didn't read this. I'm right. You are going to be told. I realize usually usually too late, that if you just pay that twenty bucks to have your car safe in a lot. You do Have to worry about it and you do have a better time that is a couple of things? First, off everything runs. Those lots are nazis and they know it. They know They got you by the shore ones and couple things
you guys ever go to LOS Angeles? We go to the West side, they have parking poles and they decorate them like Christmas trees, but with rules right, it's like they sign after sign after sign after sign, and I wasn't goods and I'm kind of dyslexic, and when I read I gotta use my finger. So I got travel with a step ladder literally go wait, a minute, no parking between they get fucked up on the twelve am wait. A minute is at noon, wait a minute six p m hole on web, but on earth days and young copper. We don't have. There is like you just sit there and you stare at you. Stare stared adventure fuck. It then you leave and then you come back and there's a ticket on spider, If I was running LOS Angeles, I just put thirteen signs on every one of those poles and just had to take it out to every single car that ever park there, because there's no way you could prove.
In court that those rules work up there. You just get totally confused and yes, the parking Nazis. One time I was seeing a show in Hollywood and I pull the indoor parking lot and I was driving Z. Car dots in three fifty see car canna low slung, and I was sitting on my wallet and a pull then to the valet guy. It was a parking lot gonna valet's toward a park, and he said fifteen dollars, except for with a horrible act. but I don't want to do that action because, as you know, I don't hear tower. I do like the due to the airport, but I don't hear so
the guys like fifteen dollars, like em, sit on my wallet. Let me just park and get out of my car, given the fifteen is like fifteen. Now, that's like you know, trust me now as like we just ploy in and I'll get the car. Then I'll, pay you and then he's like. I need. fifteen. Now, how do you think it's gonna work, I'm gonna to in jump out of car without paying you and run to Mexico laughing he's like pay it. Now I like a few pulled out. One across the street early parked across the street, ran over a nun and retarded kid on the way to get it still worth it. I think we should probably add that into our friends eulogies that we end up giving them when they die, that in his lifetime he paid over seventy, a thousand dollars. The park is hard. the man lived lived here.
But I wonder if losers like my dad, wouldn't pull up to the local. Why that one or two eight boxing day and give the guy sixty thousand dollar Tipp just to try to get right when performing or it kicked I'd, so I'm gonna just go ahead and go with I'm gonna go with. I'm gonna go with. things on on on a life well lead to over one is how much did you pay for parking over the course of your lifetime and my other metrics? I use measure success. Is your name and Far is away from you are how close it is to your body, which is this here! So here's what it is. If you, a name tag on you. That means you work Mcdonald and your fuckin loser.
So if your name is physically touching you that's bad. Did you check this the simple servers euro now servers why if the name is on your desk, then you're sitting three feet away from your name. Then you're doing better than if it's on you and Your name is then on the door of your office. Instead of on your dad's bennets, even further off of your body and you're doing better Bud its outside in its on a parking space, and it's really far away from your office, then you're doing even better it's on your door and it's on the roof of the building. are crushing it
and if that buildings in Hong Kong, in your being blown in Vegas, You have arrived, my friend you're away over powerful worth rights which I think that matter pattern. You gotta clock your house's there's one, that's, moving on the other side of it, really, that's a time. Oh that's the time. Oh, it started off doing we're countdown thing and then it will show you use that I'm sorry, I'm ok, right by part of the and railways do, of course was when you were your example of how we are living through Orwell's nation, just hope, you're making. Eighty four was, you were being served homeless,
first. Class promise has inferred, has in food and first class, I was even Evans. Even really of neurons are silverware ahead. Stick. They gave me a flat stick to dig dig it out. Yes, very, pedestrians very sad and knows it rests on the plane whatsoever, five, and there is now and someone gets scurvy yards. boy, that's a pretty long journey. Seven sailors could get scurvy. I make my way into the United BAR you'll be The club I made my way into the United Club and was actually filling their enough is meeting a friend met, the Andrea was there. My flight was gonna leave and like a half our and I was gonna get there and he set the club any goes, I'm at the bar made order something- and I said, yeah
get me a gimme, a vodka soda and lemon, and he said Kay. Vodka soda lemon hung up. The phone came up into the club ten minutes later that is united Lounge? I guess it is sit there. I gotta vodka soda in line. and I said to man, a man: didn't you order the vodka southern lemonade lemon, that's what Did you read that a pile of lemons and a pile of limbs- and I said, vodkas lemon and he described the lime and dropped it in this? Never What's happening to me what the fuck is going on. I know they start with the same letter, but why can't you just rates for the fuckin labyrinth? I've had it happened, a million diver. I go vodka, so dilemma they go back Cosette alive. I got Levin, they went deadline. I got lemme think. Ok, they put a fuckin limited. What what
going on? I know we ve talked about this. It's not answerable they try to get me a kill myself right, we really are living through Orwell's energy. This is harmless, and now this. Any thoughts are now that they're just people out of the same reason that people are your drifting audible lanes on your cell phone and all the reasons that furthermore, more out of paying attention to human, We start saying, or should I start saying I would like, but soda and yellow lemon. you do that, you know you could buy over matter gaming system level bed, but you have to say, and we get back a soda lemon. Please now lie I'm allergic to LA now. This goes. It gets everything out across dance for trust me, you will not get line, get sued, yeah, Betsy, here's the prom work,
Society were no mayo means extra man right like because you utter the word mail. I don't you Scared of say line that may give me higher tree shoved up my ass do not have the attention span. They will hear the order. I believe they know it in their mind. Yes, I got this, don't have to write it down and then there go back and do what they normally do: throw lime and every single drink. I'm sorry, too, what we say and ass. It is just kind thinking about how much there should remain weekly column and the New Yorker thinking about harmless with Adam Corolla. Today starts first class. all right, joke. Coils gonna come up when Joe COIN comes up. Right should be any moment any minute yeah. I just gonna easy getting their computer right now, so it should be. Another four minutes
I'm gonna sing that Rachel Song now, I know where you were in Dallas, though this is dreadful song country, yes, Frank, saying if you know it, I was thinking As long as you're a couple minutes, I was thinking about a commercial that I think he s? Pierre ran a lot last year during college football season, and this is where access in California, gonna find some common ground because it was ready, commercial, where there were like around the country and like talking to tailor gaiters course thereafter. like you know like that: the Memphis guy had rib and you know it was all local stuff right when they got to. You see. The guy was like, like what you promised fuel is like What you're tailgate for his palace, they cut the cut to the Texas guy, she asked and guy he's like he's like a visa bore. The handlebar mustache like home would it is like listen
not always Ella Homo ring. How MR failings number one, but never to touch them should be insulted because often is the birthplace of whole food. Nowhere is this more homeless than Austin Texas. Why that Israel s impassioned homeless palm fucking redneck. Does nobody on homelessness almost is my grandfather's and homelessness Does anyone here no at Thomas is, I hope I've got twenty minutes. The horrible show for you haven't clarity on this. hundred percent aware that Hamas exists, but I could not tell you one ingredient in it. Nobody Nobody knows it's! It's a weird! It's the I'll pay, the one thing here. So one thing about comments like chips in salt is awesome, but it's the special chunky,
We got a guy or stuff when you're drunk, because you put this thing in there and you get the little pyramid of tomatoes and Andean here like that. It falls onto your shirt. Hum is used Chip in harm is important in a pain. Shaker at home Depot and when you pull out of pocket harvest is still on it. You could. rats in harmless and throw it like a threat star crossed the room and it would come back with the same amount of harmless on it. I Dave was homeless and pretzel stakes he's weird along sticks. I put the stick in the end, I pulled out look like a drum. stick worth of honest I conducted orchestra. Aware that and then I ate it none of Well, are you know, I am always good, but again when you do the salsa man, it's up, it's a bad. It's a delicate dance than do, and you got it
keep it on there and you ve got a cradle ain't. You got a scoop. If you got a lean forward, you gonna throw it in your mouth hum. Is you put that thing on it? Put that thing on a cracker. You put that thing anywhere. You could drop, kick it across a parking lot and would have just as much as an some pubic on it when you gathered it up, so I will say it: it tastes like shit, but it's good for dip. In that much I now I don't know what else were supposed to do with this shit. I think it's just like chickpeas, our bonds of beans and by the way do we need, is a chip b, our bonds or being the same thing that it is. Why do we have the shortest fast? most streamline name and the longest most complicated name for the same thing. Chippy man, one syllable, chick our ponds. Oh, that's a lot!
I don't know I've never been to this stage you're saying you have made with chickpea. We don't need our bonds. Are you an Catalans material again the fact that this is CAT Williams, because he knows that there is whole act out the different chickpeas and eurobonds Europeans, but sick portion of it. I am, I am ok, I'm goin to pull our children of their max pad. I left joke toys plugs left all the plug it my dressing room, I think neuron thrown a couple. A car Joker you with a Joe Wegg. Let's see, let's hit him on mutual yourself. Did you get the money they are?
What's to man, Joe Coy everybody, I got your Common MAX press has current, go get em where you add, or you at home and ally, Vegas home in Vegas home in Vegas? How are you Vegas fifty one percent. the time for taxes. Are you back? Your poor people Vegas for taxes and access. I thought those things go. You gotta Vegas for taxes, you gotTa Florida for axis. I think that's that's how it works, but, are you the restaurant here and then maybe should tell everybody! You fool private jet here, that's right at eight, all the meat at my restaurant for free
called the tent boring I have I have. I have Kobe at that. I also have all wag you A hundred and fifty bucks a plate and Fuckin Adam orders. Nine plates it's like a sloppy drunk Dawson drawing delicious coy, I'm so proud of you, You know we are speaking here. We are speaking earlier about items live as is turning orwellian, and I am it's it's awful this this happen Joe. This was this was a guy. You know how you could. I want your crowded. No just tell sloppy of a drug dealer flies it, although private jet, I bring up huge suv. Then he comes in with asking
mortgage and puts it behind the crook like regular and always luggage this. This was a perfect storm of sloppy drunken eating, which ass I blue. That morning from L a to do an event in Detroit. I took a private jet. left in the morning. Fluted Detroit did an event in Detroit than got back. On a private plain and flew to vague, is we're Joe well come to me and it was wonderful, restaurant shabbily shadow. Yes, I think so I had a boost, shampoo drunk, I were so drunk. I I what they call the difficult job shovel gets told, shadow shadow, but the ways that, like all these illegal, like I do in a bad Jappy, these access Savage Avenue.
had been drinking on the private playing the entire day. So by the time we landed in Vegas at eight o clock at night, I was shampoo shampoo phrase I rolled and I had need many being the entire day, because I left that, like eight in the morning and Joe just kept Frank, we can bring it out. The beef ban, the B as so drunk user has, even though the cameras it's right in front of us I thought I
is looking at. What are you looking right? I don't even know what the fuck you look at it. I have no idea. I thought I was at a panda Express pink added, look about whitechappel right behind this to the Rhine, very, even shot. The logic is laughing. You say what a drunk I was drunk or look if you're gonna fly privately, you gotta drank those are the rules, although, Oh, oh wow sideways shift I was in Vegas. I want to share with I seven thousand dollars worth of beef steak. back today as you ve, he did point of having celebrities come. We eat your restaurant is now promote and hopefully increase profit complete. put me at the negative for a month
now the steak I ever made my My rector of doing this is your show, but I really fucked you hated that you came to my restaurant, so I want I want to know he is every time you order every time you order where you Brian. In every time you went away its special thing, because that means the cuts we're just that, like a hundred people, So we bring up a little girl and you hit I was I clap because it's a very good about you people order it may out of it it's like, maybe twice a lot, so I got this asshole gaunt nine times less than a minute. I was workers like John Parliament's work in a race. Paddle. Well, They tell me I had an actual in time
another pits with the local newspaper. Do that that the amount of the news report I was there last year have no recollection of that. We ask that was a bad right up so Joe Year, you're in Vegas Vegas is kind of open ride, or is it fully open? It's it's it's once again, it's kind of like me. They stopped the bars, but its name is nonsense. Censure now: use the whole towns debar towns of. I don't give a shit yeah. they are so and then you obviously you're not touring. You can't tour. I do in any shows you get up on stays out of this. Vegas, you'll, see prostitutes. Where are your bath import double blow job? they just put a whole new mass favourably one of those in ninety five measures.
So any showed the area an end, sixty nine mass Are you are you? Are you travelling? Are you doing anything? Are you just in what's gonna just in that they cancel. My last show I had one scheduled for August. Twenty second Lincoln Corner and Governor Newsome took that away from me. He's we had a covert ready, Marietta coded ready. You know I did Joe sure didn't do it. I with your eyes. I did it showed the fabulous form. I don't know six. You Adam gives what's crazy guy, he says joy and then he goes Joe and then he just keeps rambling on like what you just did is ok, joy, guy
it's Joe it's what years you know you're, Ozma and sell out arenas Oliver well now the world right I may add not just the show- and I know you're used to flying a sports arenas, small islands, things about nature when you're looking out as a comedy club. where admittedly, smaller groups of people gather to draw up Ryan. That's echo for joy. Security at all about. I beg you are come on. His god is played ten thousand shows at ten thousand comedy clubs around his career and now and I'll tell you. If you want to see, if you don't get to see Joe on tour, you can see the show on Netflix joke.
in his elements in this is chose the latest special, which is on Netflix and as good as anything joke toys ever done, and that is saying something down now that nets, backhanded Jos stand all our God. Damn excellent people tell me. People tell me they are barbaric. Now, just stand up thou his fat specials are fucking excellent and this one is as well. So you can watch TAT, Donna Netflix aren't telematics tell it about the form you Joe solved he's in is in the Philippines Joe. at the last reform of our seas.
Quite all right for you, you're a real piece of shit. Adam really are the fabulous you go, Curse played the for the kings used to play the farm, all the biggest bans in the world. There are Smith and let's Applin now played the forum in six months ago. Joy coy play for chose to show sold out I want out bid nine minutes, a mediocre comedy. I then Tiffany Hanish gave You know by the way you ve killed it out of your great you're. Really great. I love the Euro is thank you
No, you ve arrived when I did ten minutes of stand up. There's Dino thirteen thousand people there and at some point I went policy in five forty five I won, including staff. There were fifteen tat, so I I went back stage then I met up with the Jos manager, Slash Asia. We gonna do an elevator. We went upstairs to the bar, we won in the bar. We order beer at the form bar and we watch the rest of the set on a we monitor that was pumped into the bar,
that means you ve arrived joy. I too we do so. Does anyone know what dost and it's gonna handle the news tonight, because Gina Grant is not around MAC spare the time. What the term thing so over there there it is, just check and go ahead, Dawson what a guy reporting live from Dusseldorf, it's the news with MIKE Dawson we'll former undisputed heavyweight champion MIKE Tyson is making a comeback. Thyssen aged fifty four is going too far. Roy Jones Junior and the eight round exhibition fights summer twelfth and Carson California. The bottom I cast paper view as well as on what I media platform called thriller Roy Hygiene right here.
Junior has is what most one of the most athletic best fighters ever. There's a light. Every way really heavy weight, but he retired. In the United States, but the he's been doing fights like overseas. Like you, you go find your kangaroo for the Sultana Brunei for like a grand pop like so he's, fighting this whole time. We just haven't notable This money is shit. You can do in the EU can retire in the United States if your boxer or porn star, but you can go in and other countries bought for eighty grim who's. This we're gonna. I I don't know sabotage. That was, as you request, this hands. What Sadly, they payment shabbily shovel. the Arab, yet he did Roy did fight for that.
Way title though, before he retired. Yes, he moved up a moved up to heavy way, buddy really not a heavy way now. Enticing looks super sharp. I mean. Did you see? any that forty jack, like just hear, focused paths and stuff. So I don't know, that's gonna. for four Roy but TAT? I owe you know it's funny thing I I interviewed MIKE Tyson a few years ago. For this part gas and I went to his house he's in Vegas by the way he's like Henderson or somewhere. maybe a neighbor, yes, and I want to I went to his house and the Last time I saw him, he was moving. slow. He was. Following is be. He looked depressed, He was kind of overweight and this time Sharm. He looked bright, eyed and bushy. Tailed, look sharp, and I said MIKE what's I ve been doing what's the difference,
going on. I said a cut it all out at a cut all that out a cut out. The booze I cut out the croquet cut out the pills I cut out. Everything I'm not doing anything anymore cut it all out. I said not even we'd me one, although slowdown regarding the safety of the event. Thyssen says that we're both accomplished fighters. We know how to take care of ourselves. It's an eight round. Exhibition and listen, we'll be all right. Trust me. We can take care of ourselves to also been reported that former NBA a player, Nate Robinson and Youtube STAR, Jake Paul agreed to fight on the under card that night, why they re so you're gonna, try and am do is the discussion with him, I guess he never call. yeah and discuss it with you, Jake Jake, Paul
I mean- and I told him I a train of and hold the focus bread for, but it were wearing some odd entertainment times here right where this is just full dog and pony show like celebrities, we ever got a bootleg porn tape on the internet, celebrities or just go and added Carson California. I wonder how much money say exhibition, but they're dead, they're doing this and get paid bigger than so What do you? What is the price for the paper view on this event? Is this Nineteen. Ninety nine is twenty nine. Ninety, nine, that what what is it because, like it, you can legitimately you have see title fight. You know with a good under card, is fifty nine sixty nine box right? What is What is this? What I was gonna get fifty on these. These These are more notable name
to the general public, then even the best USC fires yeah, Thyssen. Roy Jones authors or is it just saying that it will cost a fee? No one is saying how much it will cost rise tyres, big comeback. They can go as high as fifty dollars. Don't you think I ever Roy Giants identity such a bad at us. Then. When Roy Jones was in his prime, before heavy way? I think it may be a title VI He played in an amateur basketball, game, the actually play the game of hoops? knew of the fight that was that night and still beat the guy's ass for us, I protest. You might think that he owned or something like that Florida, the air it's easier to get playing time when you own the team,
We all use another one atom. Roy Jones one time, had a rap album and he walked out to his all music wrapping holding the microphone. He was there it's good wrapping any walked into the pot also breeds Fighting coxey does buying you that by us although I don't know why. We should be surprised that guy who fights human beings for living Watch chickens, why honest downtime ride like loves raising pigeon, citing. I knew that there's your under card this violence versus the Cox. What might pigeons against Royce CAT
well actually burst? Drive through who Strip Club has a Tucson limit? You wanna go vivid gentleman's club in Houston and set up a drive through serviced, offer, its traditional form of entertainment, along with it's bar menu. So then you installed a massive white tent outside there's a barrier separating drivers and dancers, neon lights and a PA system. So I imagine the Strip Club DJ is working some of the performers wear masks some dumb, but they're. All socially distance from the cars drivers leave tips on the pavement. Now, according to Texas LAW, restaurants in open the at half capacity and bars can make to go at sales. Only the Strip Club identifies as a bar, there are two go orders. So people drive and place your order. You sit in the car, the girl stands for two songs some money Adam and then they kicking out to wait for your food.
doesn't make much, if not wondering how many, like you think I you're driving there. Do you think this is an impulse by like I do it their within an hour programme. Just drive, oh shit, like I can't you we drive and any other my son get the back seat but sweater over your head for a few minutes impulse by also club is outside the ban? RO, given that support a party If it is, you think they have the attendant in there with the man's and the horse. That's what I would do. I get. A Porter Party won Nicaragua guy like standing there with Manson. you're one of those shot act. Revolver. They should have some kind of some kind of I'm pop up ten, I well happen
how many husbands recovery hold late with just one Sakharov Backpack, here's a serious question: can you be infected by the glitter at this distance, you come home with glitter on you made it. This is the perfect time: hey Honey, I'm gonna go pick up dinner. There yeah. Have global partners, mother crisp with a picture back up we're going out. This up with those crazy rims. I was looking like a mad max it double o seven shit. Scientist Rise since I have I have four thousand dollars worth of hunters, civic and thirteen thousand dollars worth of rams. Hey hey? touch her vagina, but my ribs well
I don't know they're kind, the rims on this car look like the mouth from alien worthy the failure to face Agora yeah. I don't I don't. I don't know what this I don't know. What they say is that the car front of it has to do in that trunk soap, and so on that sure how that works. Are these other parts that optimists primes penis. What is that not every idea is a good idea. but I was I was thinking of this literally the other night in my neighborhood, or not that colors I did a few miles away like an goin down. There's a couple, these bans that say topless maids. What is that You know when you go what is really going on. It can't be you
higher a maid, and she shows up and takes a shirt off and then pass out the wind acts. It starts at the window. Right like this, what What is a topless made? What is tat? Even sexy will first off right Ok, first, I've. I've I have made these our somewhere between the two and a half, a three that you would not. I actually give my sweat jacket are put on when they come inside your debts, when the guy that's pup red It goes hey. I think you need a broom as well What is this? Is this you damn? How does how does it work this? Anyone listening to a podcast from someone tells describing them higher at the top was made and, as you can imagine, you know get a lot for your money. Yes, of course,
jobless. You downloaded touch them, of course, in a lot of talk them, I don't think they will send you a lighthouse work like dusting and liking of policy table. I would only like a fog is therefore- and it's like forty five minutes later there they does the lagoon and now you're doing my fucking laundry you're, making me something to eat. That's right, don't forget the toilet. To that end. There there at all all babyhood some polish it, but it won't be the DA mayor messier, hardwood floor. Sorting out the swifter like Sir job. That's what I hear on polish. My joy with the attack was made.
clean up aisle me. Donald, go sports. the Annabel Washington Chant franchise, formerly known as the Washington Redskins, is officially going to change their name to the Washington Football team thirty, nine, yes, yes, you football team. Are you kidding while they try to out there new name and how to branded the team hopes to finish retiring. The red skins branding by their home, open or against the Eagles on September. Thirtieth What a man named Philip Martin and MC caully is registered a bunch of trademarks for the potential use by the Washington Football team. I told them you give them doom free of charge and want to get your take on.
of these. None of these two me sound very inspiring, but this guy's spend some money and trademarked. The Washington Red, wools red. Why wolves was of polling, something a football team. It sounds like when like when, all stone with your football movie, but he couldn't clear the lighted. The aims that the NFL we just got- the men vis hustlers. seems Say Washington for all day because you didn't buy the rights to say Redskins its weight to generic, so we got you got red walls ran red red tales, Redtail Washington, the Washington Monuments, now. That's what the fuck you Washington? I just stand. They don't move. Washington, Americans there.
the Washington Break INS command the Washington veterans now I can't but I like just football team. There is no word on the football team, are interested care. We call it the wise you didn't those guys just this fuck it move on with our lives and then what happens if the announcer like? What's Joe Bach Gonna, do he's just gonna? Go the wash good football teams are the proud heritage of the Washington Football team and I know tat since the former Redskins require a rival, I abide. in terms of like contrasting uniforms, those are good contrasting uniforms, the Redskins in the Dallas cowboys. Like that's a good contrast. I always think about that. Sorry go ahead.
Just a little known town, ass, not police, you're on the hunt for a thief who stole a fifty pound dildo from a LAS Vegas sex, booty surveillance, video which are so you're going to say then Mademoiselle sex mutate bricks. That would be the worst see food restaurant ever like I've. I've seen their king crab up on the wall, but sorry, we'll watch a video. we got the mass man here. Strolling ended the deja VU low Monti in daylight, Annie heads straight for a three foot: fifty pound dill low fix it. Swings it over his shoulder and Saunders nonchalantly out the door. The suspect fled in his dodge. Caliber, fourth
the only kind of that's. How do we get the getaway car is important to destroy always just for that reason drives, God's caliber. I would like to re angry. I would like to be in charge of the police force. It was going to pass this case wide, open We have no information on this gentleman, but telling you. If we find the woman with the world's biggest percy, she will lead us. to the scramble for good their boys and girls. That, though, is the world's largest retail dildo, its all the movie and neuron YO about six hundred bucks, a kind of a good deal and lonely eccentric. he's gonna, hoping some good Samaritan tried your resolute and away from him in the parking lot. You fought him off.
the old. This guy's you whoever cock rang, and I got all sorts of things groaned. I might we got a clue a horn situation Think I think I'm gonna blame this on covert, because I think the mask is really in bulk dildo leaves, and, alas, it's not it's that been talked about enough, but I think this mask is really given them a licence to steal not only all those with vibrator imbibe plots You don't understand Arab, like places like home depot best by target thing. I like stricter restrictions when you try to get him to push back the baronet ivy, They do you're you're late, the monitor they regional Russie six feet apart, deja vu just let's anybody and if anyone spreading coveted these fuckin people too,
you weren't six hundred pound clock. We have covered The other thing I ordered Cyrus Agri high risk completely. Washington, Post has settled there. Two hundred fifty million dollar lawsuit with Covington Teen Nick Sandman. How was it was settled? his birthday of the second domino to fall, sand and declared the victory in a tweet on his eighteenth birthday, it is unclear how much the newspaper has settled for its genes and when, in a whopping, eight hundred million dollar defamation battle against a number of news outlets, including the Washington post. She ABC Cbs, the guardian, the hill and NBC SAM and, of course, was on the new is after a abortion rally at the capital, and you know the story, but here's the interest thing salmon treated this. He said we have sat with why
oh and CNN. The fight is an over to down six to go. Don't hold your breath at Jack Navy saying that he is going to see twitter is well we'll see about that guy. I imagine that so I think I think, is high school one on a field trip and that's where this whole thing broke out, because it was with the rest. Yes, hi schoolmate this guy those on a field trip. comes home, and now he's gonna be fifty million dollars richer More than that, I would imagine my field trip when I went on, I want a Fuckin Alvarez straight line. School. What thou three, which is essentially a street in LOS Angeles, that's filled with Mexicans, which is any street and
as I probably more Maxine kids on the fuckin boss ride on the way over to our various rate than I did. When I got the virus three, I got and out of that, the other, the other trip I went on was I went to the lorries season. Plant, got out there with a packet of taco seasoning. Now you want talk about a chasm and pay days on field trips. Echo is Sandra seven five million dollars pearl packet of taco seasoning? That's a pretty big spread in terms of field trip. some people. Now. If I had any hopes for my son, I would tat. He was on the seventy five billion dollar payday pause versus it. Go seasoning packet pass with me. Sorry Dawson arrive
a northern Michigan restaurant, lost thousands these of dollars and sales after a busboy claim the ad cloven nineteen that the employee just wanted a day off I always say that is why I agree that we do this one that Brian the way Did the story sloppy Atkins Gaza jobbers job to move on, I'll be dollars to atoms pocket outright, always what are called in a bomb threat, Xavier some fuckin money, but I showed up He lingered, I am carbon in south that
I forgot there was a truck loaded with several forty l containers, full of live covid. Nineteen samples guess what happened. They was hijacked by armed men outside of clinic the vehicle was abandoned not far from the sea. and has since been recovered, but the virus samples are still missing. This is the beginning. Well, failure release all right. Is that David in this headline as a partner that come up to evince cabin he's, like you know, I'm retired remedial back for one more hold on. Let me look at my dog, ok, one more measure, their cut, a frame that now works every time but don't worry, he's coming after that does it. Anyone ever to do. One more thing thereafter
caring go south have asked you to come after retirement for one more job, don't do it I don't know I don't ever fuckin poor man, somebody, not Sonya drawers like just skim one more poor. Now now don't do it you saw what happened elites, Armstrong! Don't do it. Care, if you do, I, if you copier, printer repair. Don't care what your job is. I care? You cannot come out a retirement for one more. I can come out for two jobs, but not one more! That's outward that's the one more does one more on red Well, a man nicknamed Rambo after it disarmed for Police officers at gunpoint and disappeared into Germany's Black Forest has finally been captured following man
thirty one year old events, Roush was found Friday, still hiding in the forest and hills around a small town. It's best southwestern Germany more than two thousand five hundred police this were involved in his search after getting a tip from two witnesses, police special forces and of a sniff. Dog found him sitting in a bush with or hand guns lying in front of them and a hatchet in his lap. He was injured during the arrest hold it would certainly be a cop who catch you weapon taken away. The guy ran into the black force right. Where you got your. Taken from you, so you started off with the gun. the other guy, just head logging, shorts on and now he's got your gun and I'm saying, I know cops, they have a sense. Humor they like do they like to take digs at other key
you know that sort of that little frat boy kind of thing and there's no way, if you're, that cop, that you wouldn't, a good shit back at the precinct right. There is, if there's a birthday A year later there are handed out cake and you're the carpet got his gun taken and so on handed you a slice. It gets bigger watch it careful tat dull at everyone steal it. You want some young guy, gravitated run in the black bars batteries. Entire fuckin career here is about when the police We're alerted to a suspicious person carrying a bow and arrow. So official said that he, the Rambo, initially, cooperated with these four points. German, but then he suddenly put a gun, Ottoman, forced them to hand over their service. Didn't injure anybody during questioning
only in his rest, he told investigators at the weapons threatened officers with was even a gun that only fired blanks, but it's all still Investigation but that the german Rambo, finally down so worse, guy had a cap gun four cops now had to hand over their fuckin pieces to this guy but on the other hand, worse You're running around with a bow and arrow: don't we get it? just shoot. You like that kind of on you. I just feel like you gotta leave the house with a bow and arrow a job and again that's kind of gonna be on on you. I don't feel like. I don't feel like. We need hit you with the non lethal stuff where we need to talk it out of your hands. You got a bow and arrow, and especially a cross bow, and this finally, one of those old timer ones with a crank on it. Have you got there
bow and arrow at the crank on weaken, shoot you from inside the cop car. They don't even to get out shadows, job gossip, bring it avenues. At the news on my dolls and later hers and with my dad right. I'm gonna bade Farewell to joke joy and brine endorsing and I'm gonna finish there under the yoke of little girls unprepared. Thank you choke, coy that guy in his elements, thank you guys will get the questions ready out there for Adam Curls unprepared, you're going to shout out somethin. I will do a comedy routine, hold on hold
I got it first. Let me just hit a quick search, here, J B well ass. If his taxes this is it he's if, contrary to those been said many times, do I why projects you wanna get through some of those who want to save some money. You don't want the repair guy come into. The house do glue a Jay, be well that ordinary glow it's got the word ordinary right in it. You don't want that Jamie well, brows the wires and trusted J B well for over fifty, here's this by the way, this an american company, made in Amerika. I know these guys are hung out with them at the scene and whether it's a big or small repair, you do it with J B well available. J B! Well, tat come Home Depot Lozada Zone, a rally warmer and Amazon our right. So what was it Dorothy? Graphic Dorothy?
gravity, the bane of my existence, Dorothy ravage she the woman who's, the matriarch of the gravity, is who grew up next to me, when I was a kid in North Hollywood, California, at such a lot that draw right. I could have had a couple, a hot blonde twins that live next door to me. I had some guy who had a budget dirt bike motorcycles and a truck wanting to take me out, but instead I have the old bitch Dorothy Graphic. The gravest. She lived right next to us and my mom was a loser and my mom other losers. You know, what do you see a bunch hoboes all stand together in the part, that's what they do they, find a bunch, your winners to hang out with you, because they notice how much you smell that you just plots in your pants and that
strung out on pass all to you. What a fine losers you hang out with losers, there's no pressure You hang out with winners. Winners would be like hey. How come you? Don't have a fucking job, you hang out with losers. Are they go? How come you don't have a job? You go. How come you don't have a job, how come you're dead? Methamphetamine fatter mean you a dictator method, randomly we can keep going down this road folks, saying is my mom, like hang out with losers, because it took the pressure off of her and the gravity is we're lose there's. Eventually, the gravity is moved to Paradise. For India, which is up now from where we live, and I thought I'd never see them but now my mom, she was gonna, hang onto those losers with both hands and now every time I thought all she does is fill me in on what Dorothy gravity is up to, and I really hope
Dorothy. Doesn't hear this but that bitch die. Please my mom's eighty, eight years old, Dorothy graduates like several years older than my mom. She won't go away its known all windows, Dorothy Cataracts, kick in Dorothys. you're out riding a children's book by the way she Oda, children, Spock. You know children's book was shooting illustrated she wrote it. She wrote about her girl twins by the way, let me tell you about ravages. When said my mom how those girl twins doing their gotta be adults. Now how the girl twins the daughter think the sun had twins girl, twins, you don't my mom said to me: she said: One of them is prison in Florida, the other one is not doing as well that's a bad sign that bad sign
She also said about one of our family friends like here's, how my mom's, the one who was imprisoned there good, I said- and what are we had a family friendly Berlioz like House Merlin, do in my what my mom would? Surely you know she's real good? She was just that featured on an episode of hoarders, not good, episodes of borders and being in a prison, Indade County or not doing. Well, so that's my family, so I want you all your dad and call your mom and sob and hugged them tonight and say Adam Corolla says I should thank you next suggestion that what was kneeling? all car Volga, kneeling, Barca, the only
its appropriated meal is when you are preparing a ball cocked valve in your toilet tank. You taking me, even Capron I'll give a pass through on this. You gotta drop down. You pull the lid off the tank she's a giving up ituri cocktails on a flight, the ball, our common in the tank, the toilet right, Scott, the float I do, love The toilet really has not changed in one hundred years and our sponsor the fixing. It has not changed in one hundred years, like you, you're flush. you go, still running gee, I'm gonna handle? That's all I got. I got one move I got one room. It's I got jiggle the handle its the same move. I got the key card won't work in the hotel till I got one move ahead of other thought: one wife If I try to get ideas, I got no more. I got enough it
got jig over handle. You got Gigolo because that's a ball cock vow and that's the flu in there now say in in an earthquake or twitter, you guys have torn We have earthquakes anyway, when that everything goes Catawampus you can drink out of that that toilet and that's why you shouldn't be put the cleaner, whatever blue toilet bullshit in their which only people use anymore was a big deal when I was growing up in the sight of a sudden. It went from turd floating in their oh, it's a little slicer Maui right, my mode in North Hollywood but the only time it is in fact appropriate to take any is when one is attempting to repair the pall. Cock vow, the other move you do. Is you Ben that weird,
hangar arm for the float and try to get. You can try to put a little English into that. You guys ever do that, then, when push comes to shove, eventually like we just want to go to bed and you know wanted to run all night. Then you just reached down and you hit the angle, stop and you go righty tidy and then you go to bed and then next day you wake up and you take a colossal dump after drink and three copies and Lydia hit the Fuckin thing idiot. I call my god: what it's coming out on the toilet. There's nothing in the tag. But that is the Balkans I tell you something I got one of those waterless say you're and my shop. They act
There's some science to that. There ain't you Michael this business sectors like it's all. It saves water, but you know piss on the floor, would save water to its about spats, say: ever it's nothing going on there. Just fuckin thing. p into doesn't work, doesn't help doesn't nothin still another one. What do we got here? Move The text says yeah I would like them. The taxes, although I did take a little step outside the airport and was given a fuckin blast furnace. It was like seven thousand degrees when I stepped outside, and I wait a minute I literally singed Depew. When I stepped out of the airport airports
I don't care where we are airports. I care, if you're at in Chicago in December or you, in Dallas in July there all seventy one degrees inside the airports and you get a little cocky you like you do you land wherever you land and you go taxes That's your heart. This is nice. They got a cinema. I could for can handle. This is pleasant, Bam Toronto, every guy sell a jewelry and then they opened the door and you step outside ego flop, we're on the service of the side. We're all gonna die they need a little heads bride. They need a little when you're leaving because you just flew in the plane. The plane was seventy degrees ahead. The little thing: that's what you need taxes you need us.
Put that nozzle when you have ended on the play and get a little airflow gone. You get a copy Does the plane was nice? Then you get to the airport, then you get, that people mover thing ideologies you'll have to walk in Texas. This is also that got us by people mover, they say it's happens. Only feel good in here in Europe the door opened and your blasted with he what they really need is a kind of like heads like they really need something above the thing like you know they, like their porter snuff, but information like the urban zones over there and attacked zones over there and the people without luggage, bill baggage claim, is over here. How about a little sign applaud the thing that says it's hotter than the hubs of fucking hell out there. Please don't get coffee everybody. This is your last chance stripped down in your underpants, theirs, found caused much water
you can on you, you'll never make it to the fucking, EVA shadow. You will die what's your head in the drinking found a biased, ready waters as you can't over the key task over there and just keep jargon and dumping audience you run to the day. I was not but now they got stuff. I like whoever the dude, I don't know who this dude is, but the dude who invented the outer door, MR that fucking. I want a party with that because that did was like well, we ve, it air conditioning so super nice inside the house, and then there like, and now we got the. vanity pool out there, that's pretty fuckin awesome and you can floating swimming pool out there. But what about that? Little patch you're real estate between the sliding door, and poor, how
a cool, my fat, lazy, white, ass off, let's just say tired sitting in the air conditioning watching a big screen tv in the house, but I will go outside, but I'm too lazy to go in the pool. What have I just want to eat? Next to the pool I look at the poor. I know it's called a Mr. It will fuck up chicks, hair and you may sit under this, Mr Mr Love, that ban and we will revolve fire up this fuckin thing and you can gets back and watch the pool, and get hot at the same. I love the idea that we ve been able to bridge that gap between the pool and inside who your has an outdoor. Mr loser, coming at your homes were barbecues I'll, try,
with my own mister, Let's do one more farmers markets. Ok, they have must have those over here. First off I've never seen a real farmer in a farmer's mark and I've seen a lot a lesbian couples, and I will see what I would call a traditional farmer as I knew it do. You now straw had asked regarding cover all their thumbs. How can the armpits you know that guy never saw that guy see certain angry famine is see. Hipster do see lots of by the way I dont know. How do you make money at a farmer's market like they go of other? Is oh there's a white trash version of the farmers market, so the farmers, It is like get up at four four
five a m on a Sunday, I'm gonna load. These creates a per Simmons in the back of wire Subaru Station wagon lesbian rat? I'm going set up while it still dark outside and I'm just gonna put in the street. It was closed off and Santa Monica and then a bunch of fuckin assholes come by to pick up the persimmon bills. We'll talk about it. They'll put em back the guy me: they're gonna grab the perceptions on the way out and I'll never see that fucker, Gatt. That's the point. This model and at the end, thirty. That afternoon you will let alone the bridge, has been damaged for sermons back into the Subaru and dry bacteria. our written Van eyes. That is, business model There is the white trash version of this, and I have been to this This is the car parts swap meet at the pump.
A fair ground. The is we're gonna wanna. These guys cylinder heads too three fifty Chevy laid out on a beach sow. He got up at five. He fucking as an engine block firmer dots in its sitting. There he's got Why will from my hand he spreads all that shit out bunch, a guy look at it keep working at the the day he loads the shit back up and he goes home pot guy. Had a mission see that guy's mission and to sell Otto parts that guy's mission was to get the fuck away from me, Why any time you see a dude sit around and it doesn't look like he's doing anything
Where do you come in? I came in from see me vow. I spent the night in a motel sex. I got here for when it opened up there, you go we spend all day. That's right not with my wife my wife, say it look into their eyes. That's what you're thinking she, my wife or not so much a car parts. No one's gonna buy that I slipped back to the track, but you do not see my what you guys for common way. More simply get a fifteen second simply say to I simply say you should feel safe at home with simple save their mission, is to keep you say, protect your home. Do today get free shipping, it simply safe dot, slash all right. I want to thank you