Adam is joined by both Stephen Dubner and Angela Duckworth at the start of Part 2 of today’s podcast. He asks them about their new podcast, ‘No Stupid Questions’, and they go on to chat about the importance of grit, and how to develop it. Later they discuss the differences between self-esteem, humility, and self-efficacy. Other topics of conversation include Adam’s experience growing up, and having a mental checklist of goals to accomplish in the future. As the interview wraps up, Adam asks Stephen and Angela to talk more about self-awareness and success. Stick around for today’s Good Sports, with Adam and Dave Dameshek. Please support today’s sponsors: BetOnline enter PODCASTONE Geico.com SimpliSafe.com/ADAM TommyJohn.com/ADAM MadisonReedMr.com enter ADAM Meguiars.com Lifelock.com enter ADAM
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Thanks for listening to the garage sale show on Podcast one well, dampener from free economics and Angela Duckworth from my grit. The Balkan I'm beyond join me in the second half a very enlightening conversation, so I would say: listen and I share this conversation. I found it damn important. First I'd say about their life: lock cybercriminals taken advantage of the pandemic sending malware tests, game people trying to learn about cure, They ve even devise counterfeit online pharmacies, as important understand how cyber crime and identity theft are affecting our lives. Every day we put our info at risk on the internet. good myths, certain identity threats, if you're just monitoring your credit alone, lifelike the text a wide range of identity, threats like yourselves,
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behave and new episodes are available. Every Monday on Apple podcast, Spotify as well even a course you know from for economics and Angela for sure from my great so good. Let solve all of the world's problems here. We go right we actually already saw them cited. They were done. You see later nice talking to you. I am a big fan of of grant. I I really feel like that's. What's missing from a lot of young people, I am I I keep em up. can record about your sort of hard work and determination and in all that kind of stuff. In some way, we can just start with that, maybe maybe we can start with grant and in how it factors in part instead of raising kids, like I have a couple, a fourteen year old twins a girl them liked and still it'll grant but dad
start at broad subject. What is Why would we? What would what would? How would we define grit I would define grit as the combination of having passion for or a really long term goals, something that might take years. or or decades, even sometimes a lifetime to accomplish and then also perseverance, to work really really hard at that same goal, so passion and perseverance for especially long term goals. That's what I called ran nice study it because I do think it is a common denominator of high achievers, no matter what it is that you're trying to achieve So it is a universal quality that can be applied to really almost any fast of our society Certainly any any job and we all know- and we all know the people that that haven't. Sadly We know the people, I don't have it Stephen humming
How are you on the grid, what it the grid o meter, where would you be of ten, was gee go will neck or somebody like that, if somebody got up at four in the morning and in swam a thousand lapse and ran up the hill and out all the famous guy. in gaol in the past that have great. Where would you be you so engine I met a few years ago when we had her and for radio to talk about grit, and we went over this very question. and I read it myself, I ended up rating myself, roughly roughly in a on a scale, a tan, but then answer persuaded me that I was maybe comparing myself to you know, like I was envisioning. Comparing myself to the people who are super super super gritty
and that, maybe I'm actually a little bit higher cause. I don't totally so like I'm, not his lazy ass. I think I am I I sometimes think of myself as B. pretty lazy, but it when I actually look and keeps were at the end of the day or the end of the week like how much I work and how hard I work, especially on things that aren't succeeding. I think I'm pretty greedy, and but I won't tell you, this and this is what I am most you didn't about grit, is how do you get grit if you don't ever because as a kid, can't say I had a great work ethic or was partake. The gritty, like quite a lot of stuff if either something I really enjoy aid. I would do it endlessly, but if it was some I didn't enjoy, or I wasn't good at like next instead I know that Angela talks about grit, you know being this come of passion and appearance in that you can only really have perseverance or something that your passionate about, but to me
secret, quit saucer, like the big mystery, and this a lot of what we explore. You know honesty and for economics, radio, but on a no stupid questions. Do is how you I mean I hate this language about hack in all these short cuts, Blake, basically, You can get better at doing stuff. That's what I'm interested in, not just from my kids were for your kids. The myself you know like I feel were all works in progress and I wanna keep learning get better stuff. So really this new powers remains just so. I can t and began to his brain and try to get a little readier. Well, let's talk red the obviously- and I also I want to address. And I don't want to know what Angeles thought on this is? Is feeling like a there's able lazy person trapped inside a gritty persons body totally identify with that. I've talked do guys.
Dennis Prager the Radio Show House, and he says all the time. I am lazy by nature. That's why I worked so hard, it's a constant it! It's like. it's a relationship that some people have with sobriety psych. I gotta go to meeting every night, otherwise I'll drink, a bathtub, fuller gin and get on the roof of the cross, bow like it's, it's it It's a job that they literally overcompensate for feeling like there's a lazy person trapped inside them. I feel the same way do you feel that way and joy, or do I said earlier, and I feel that way digital thought feel like like even that there is a hint of laziness. So here's right over I'm hearing, though right. That is right. There is some standard of hard work that you hold your
I'll do otherwise you wouldn't care right, like you, just room continued to lie on the couch and not get off of it. and so you have to like fight that and then Europe, but my guess, is that you know just look at you. You ve done and- and I know Stephen well Enough- not only just looking was done, but having been a collaborator. Then the neither of you or anything close too lazy. Right than that, not forty hour week. People either is that right So we just start with that arab animals that correct that you're. Not somebody who Adam puts out more than forty errors of podcast like well, there's a couple of things. You know it's not really of oh, isn't really of. Are you a lazy person by nature? Not it's that. Do you feel like a lake. a person and almost like there's people,
who exercise all the time, because they, when they look in the mirror they she like a heavy Shat person looking back at them, but their nigh there in good shape, We call it body this more effect disorder, but I may have a lazy just morphine disorder, which is like immediately look in the mirror and I see a lazy guy. Looking back at me- and I think, oh you better out work your lazy ass, this Great, like you get up earlier to tomorrow, wortley well, I think very related to Stephen reading himself, an eight out of ten on great it's like by What comparison like to what standard I mean? Maybe he has this Can you do right and you have this law the image of yourself which other people I'd say: are you kidding me you're incredibly hard working ready boat I feel that way that I mean the corral find by the way the people at the top of the grid scale tend to judge themselves quite hardened was how old themselves to a higher and higher and higher standards
It's it's also a situation where the people, You are aware of our that you have relationship with our. What have you or you know, Jim? Kim or guys like that, who obviously would be off the charts and that the work ethic? But to me he someone Compare myself to you know it wasn't now. If I was back on a construction site and North Hollywood and comparing myself that those assholes I work with that, look I myself differently, so it's like sort of whose I'm going in your group and Stephen. You probably have a high achieving group that you're travelling with sue your comparing yourself that those people Ryan I realize that's my mistake. You should hang out with losers and lazy. Eight, then your fill relatively asked them. I read. You won't be grave by your you'll feel good here here is away any no need of one when cycle logical surveys when, when, when Bureau
Scientists asked people to you know really themselves. You know they are thinking that you're reading yourself against, like humanity, wrangling with which you're not you're you're reading yourself again, some pure that's probably not at all the way somebody else's ring because they have different bureaucrats, but here is the way to do it Last time you went to the dvd to renew your license right. That's space we are random sample of what we American adults Riman eleven. Now, ok, So we just remember something in that room: illegal can eggs. Everyone needs to renew their licence. That might help you guys up, but I do having this kind of almost on a per double standard. This as soon as you like achieve one thing: you're like looking up not down. I think that's actually part of what
drives gritty people. Ok, but can I just say no offence to the three of us, but the three of us now kind. The sound like we're, humble bragging. This hunt, like anyone that day is just like I'm only Anais, but I know that I'm really lit land and eleven well, bragging about America. Trash ask is worth three decent humans. I think I do think there. Angela's doing Adam seriously is real port and work in her room surgeon in this thing called the curriculum that she has because, like if Greece, is valuable, which almost all of us agree. It is right. Then he asked Where does it come from and I'll tell you. A lot of hers comes from her family, both trillion genetically Herbert heredity early, I guess we should say right this chinese family. There was like what are you talking? you're, not gonna work for six hours. On the thing, of course you are in and we all know that families and environments and so on, contribute to that. But to me the big,
action is. If a kid orient an adult, whatever doesn't have the environment, you know they Angelo locked into, I mean no you angel, you were born into a great circumstance. I like, I was born into a family that you know very different from yours, but pretty good. But if you don't have that How do you get it yourself, especially when you're still a young person that to me, It is an incredibly valuable and almost heartbreaking question, because you know I'm not worried about us and you're not even worried about Adams fourteen year old twins, Norma, because any dad whose worried enough invaded about which you know I think, you're. So let me let me paint a picture of what I think like the ideal. Conditions for development are probably for for most things, honestly, not just great bitch but but our I'll, try to be a little more severe rush like what we would want to four young people at each fourteen or so or even younger, is lots of
opportunities to try out lots of different thing and by the way, under the paint, a picture of kids doing what you did, Stephen, which is quit things right. So like well short, people think of you know crossword for the New York Times. I mean it is true: he discovered very early in life that he wanted to be a basically a puzzle, master unusual career and he discovered this unusually young, but even he tried out things like a tar, etc that he quit and that's actually what you want you would you would. to wave a magic wand so that all these kids around the world children and teenagers would have lots of opportunities to try things out and actually, paradoxically, you know coming for me, maybe to quit them Wendy have gotten far enough to know that they want to do something else and when you said when you were a kid, Stephen that you quit lots of things, but you worked very hard, even obsessively Things can stuck with you right that, like
No rang the Bell rang like that actually what I see in greedy people that they put a lot of things they go from one to the other, especially when their young, but do have. Increasingly. You know you know slicked strong constitution to stick with the things that that start to stick with them yeah. I wondered at a moment s questions of the other guests on your show. Would you mind if I ask you one question wins so when you talk to all these high achievers when you were writing grit and so on. I'm curious, I think he did write about this. I just don't remember, but It reminds me of the three of us now kind of assessing herself, maybe a little bit lower and that that humble brag of the thing, but on the flip side of that I am, I do wonder how much self awareness is a factor.
Greer or success of any kind which is being able to really look at yourself and see. You note. Yes, I'm really good at what I do or yeah. I really bus mass at this, but cures, Fortunately, I MR here is something I didn't think you were here is right could have gone further and that, as itself being a major component of success, is that the case, or not yeah, and so one of the reasons why the hard to give a street, or at least a short answer to like ok, what do all kids need so that they have the opportunity to develop new something like Rick is that it's more than one thing: I got yelled at actually had a very, very, very famous professor, ology who is to work with well. I worked for as an undergraduate he's was, I think, the chair of the psychology department at Harvard and is even Jerry, Kagan and I caught up within a few years ago, so I was all grown up. I had become a professor myself and you know he had heard
grit, and we were talking on the phone UK yelling at me like it was like it was like listening to all caps, the mission marks and I think his beef was that grid requires. many things, it's complicated Fraid. So it's not just that. You need the speculation of multiple interests ill at ease and yet a sample to equip them and that's part of developing wretch so developing self awareness, especially inability to be self critical, you're absolutely right. That also a part of what you need to develop rich but- You know you also need role models and mentor is like that's so so it's a long recipe and I think Jerry said that maybe it was such a long recipe that must not be used for recipe. but, but I do think this is kind of the phenotype, if you will the high achiever. So when we stop reverse engineering, like what are the all the things that these people have that enable them. To stick with things for so long with such an obsessive single mom.
Dennis eat. You know you do you. Do you find it? it's like more than one factor? I'd like to discuss self esteem and how factors are folds and grant as well, because I'm starting to worry that too many people have too high a self esteem and night. It's funny because you look it self esteem. Like vitamin c like where you can never have enough vitamin c, I think they can either go get the runs at a certain point. I dont get that I've found, which illogical runs, I've kind of studied, like I work with comedians and comedians, are really moody and temperament all and can a naughty infinity and difficult. And I noticed J Leno was probably the easiest of all the comedians to deal with, and he sat in the studio couple of weeks ago, and I said that J. can I ask in like. Why are you willing? do he'll hop in any drag. Stir he'll jump at any crop dusting by
applying he'll call our call him up and go J come over there and have come over go to a sharp and long term. This is great, it's it's easy and any discuss when I've lost self esteem. Look I had this whatever I don't. I don't have any self esteem and I go you surprised when people inviting him to the you know the will your crop destiny. He understands that these rich any others answer, these successive all airlines and these famous, but he doesn't have high self esteem, has it's kind of our shocks, regular guy or whatever, and I've heard people talk to him. Like I've yeah I've been on the set of that shown I've heard like his head rider during rehearse ago: hey J you're, doing it wrong in his grown up the joke. It now get it right. Otherwise, we're gonna cut the joke, and I I shit. I hold my breath like on my god if you said that to half the other guy, have work within this town, you'd be fuckin fired and he J would, I won't have you want me to do it. Well, you get your ear, hidden, the wrong beads and he got up and tried again and again
the no self esteem are low and so I started thinking about groups with really high self esteem, and I realize I I don't they're doing as well is low self esteem groups, and I think I started thinking about all the jewish riders of hung out with it, since you know when I got out a construction there Jews and construction. When I got in to show business there are a lot of Jews. And are the most self deprecating group in the world. I've never hung out with more guy's going, I'm so bad. It fixing thanks. You call the guy. I don't even don't even- the Junta that car nobody engineers believe me, I am a lame. I like that really self deprecate. In a funny way, but hard on themselves. I got off a construction site were resolved gentiles
magic hands, and I got into writers room and it was all jewish man and no group was more shelf deprecating than jewish men like I'm so bad? At this point, I would say only looking either it was aged about it, but it's like I could. change- a light ball, but my apartment. If you gave me a ten thousand dollars an hour you I couldn't I'm so bad it even when they write a bad joke? They go. That was laid, I'd stir it. I you have to fourteen year old, I killer jewish right. I am I'm italian, but I also notice so that the groups that I notice that were very hard on themselves, were Asians and Jews the Asian. They were kind of deal,
reasons, but there were hard on themselves there. There I don't mean negative. I just mean Brown, you don't mean depressed, not re into practice mean like tough on themselves, rightly judging themselves by very tough standards right in an isolated it yeah that I started thinking. Well. Wait a minute. The two groups that are really kicking ass in this country are Asians and choose. I thought well, maybe there's something because I know a bunch of people feel really good about themselves and are horrible and don't do anything. Ok well This is very dangerous question to ask a Jew in an asian or it's dangerous for us. The answer like look: this is what If esteem is self, esteem is you're feeling of worth like. Do you feel like you're, on an equal level with others? You think you're, you know value like in the world. If I had to fourteen year old twins, I would want them to have some threshold level of self esteem.
Actually having like really low self esteem is highly associated with like bad things like depression, So yeah. I don't think you want your kids to be in the basement on self esteem, but they give a very good intuition, which is probably that you know beyond some threshold level, you no more isn't necessarily better, but here thing that I think you do my first. What you want humility like that's, what You know when you describe people who, like J Leno, saying like oh, how? How could I make you'd better. What do I need to do that? humility and you can have self esteem and humility at the scene, time because they're not in others not opposites at each other and Let me just for one other word in here and I know it's kind of jargon. He put its actually the word that psychologists use, it's called self efficacy, so if I fourteen or twins I'd want them to have some threshold, level of self esteem but I'd really want them to have a lot of stuff, efficacy, he
Z isn't believing that your worthwhile solve Africa's believing that, if you tried you can do something and I dont know that there is a lot of downside to even being ten out of ten in South Africa Sea because you know when you get to ten out of ten or twelve advocacy. Basically, the rest ITALY's on you didn't go, try I has moved. I think we're Adams identifying, though Angie, maybe I'm wrong Adam. You can tell me this movement for, like the last item, no twenty thirty years especially with very young children in schools. This idea that, like let's talk the children there, often at everything and then they will be awesome at everything. In other words, self esteem is like this all that you need to be good at stuff, as opposed to the old old old model, which was no. you, you deserve no self esteem until you busted your ass and have gotten really good, so obviously, somewhere in the middle is better, but I do think just as
corrections are over corrections. I think, like the heart s style of parent that we can all agree was probably a little bit too hard ass. For you know, Apple millennia like a lotta, beatings and so on it. It was replaced by away too easy, which I saw a law in when I could make you do know teenage in college age, I thought a law when they were younger, which is the whole school be geared around like telling the kid how wonderful an awesome and chosen they were and at an end to a bunch of kids feeling really entitled and The issue now is it is it. Is it possible that, like the debtors, a teacher say, could give a kid a sense that are valuable people like they're, they're, worthy of being respected and loved, but that's it
totally separate from like you already know how to do. This totals essays already great, as I think you wanna know. That's like nuanced right. I think, that's what you're trying to do is apparent to write. You don't want your kid. You think that you love them seven out of ten. You want them to think you love. Ten out of ten, but that doesn't everything that they do like every single act. Every day It is already perfect. Rape. That's like to me the whole point of unconditional love of parental love, which is, I love you, despite the fact that, at things right now and because the hell you that, yes, I get things right now. I can actually help you get better at things, that's by the way I'm jewish and I did construction wow. I only did it first summer it was still haven't, had carried out I didn't know geese didn't do construction, that's a new cultural there's, a lot! We don't do in ITALY yesterday that out and so cow, while
now is the thing that was very interesting, culturally and out it's. Why, and I don't mind stereotypes I've there around. I am the same person. I was You know when I was thirty when I was on a construction site from high school and beyond, I've just work is a labour, and then I became a carpenter, but Nobody ever mistook me fer a Jew and then, as soon as I got into comedy, everyone thought I was jewish and I didn't change or thing about myself. Just became jewish. When I wrote jokes and The hair was the same in the look was the same. It was just the profession change, but I think, What I'm talking about and maybe what we're all kind of dancing around a little bit with self esteem- is self. steam that earned. It is good to self esteem. That's grafted onto every nine year. Old is bad. It's just. You cannot just hand people aim,
my I have two daughters, the younger ones, name Lucy and she decided you want to run track. I guess you must have been, I don't know, maybe ten or eleven. Ray and we show up and those eight kids in the meat and she's eighth out of it eyes. She comes back to where I'm sitting with a ribbon right and an said s life outside, so I dont think you need to give all aid in an eight person raise a ribbon She was also on this little soccer. You tear up the ribbon or burn it. May I just you know why? Even at that age, image was what tens. I was like this like a new Yorker cartoon it like, I just started laughing and she laughed took as she is she recognised even that young age is like this is absurd. I can't believe I just got a ribbon, so I didn't have to rip it up. It was that it was. It was just the object of humor. I haven't. I have exact same experience, which is my son
came in AIDS in like I guess he was doing like long distance stuff and it came in aid and when he came in eight I said to my wife: we were sitting up in the bleachers of the high school the cross country meet. I said, ok I'll, go get the car and she no now we have the podium ceremony. I said what she is stand on a cookie she'd. Are we gonna dig a hole for him to stand? It is like none other the podium there's. The ceremony with the podium, like the other podium, is first, second and third he's a psycho. Now we got the ceremony like ok, our eyes. It's it's! It's not! It's not trend that I like, but I dont think its same thing is like telling kids that there you know like. We need Europe saying like great coaches and parents, they d, be they make its feel great about themselves as people, but they separate the kid as a person from like the action that they do
stood, and actually you know there's a lot of scientific research showing that give your praising your kid- it's so much better to focus. attention. In your feedback, I mean both positive and negative. Frankly, unlike what they're doing re like no, they take a cake. You know, don't talk about them as a person and their worth and labour. Just talk about the heat like a little dry actually like needs more frosty, but but but focus on the process, not the person. That's that's the thumb nail sketch of the signs on it. What how does this work from it occasional standpoint like what could we employment into the school systems I feel like we like their show our care for you, a good student Adam when you're you know middle school like newer, that fourteen let's three cap, I left high school, I walked on construction site and I picked up garbage for a living.
That's a good this you may want to pull up a trash can to throw up into because the asian mom in you is gonna wanna hear when I tell you that I never took the essay tease that I now did not take. The essay college was not in the end, plan. So why bother with the charade of the USA tease? I did not take the essay. You learned how to pronounce sure on. I think it is very important that I did not take this as a tease I, never took algebra and I'm sorry, I didn't go to college in high school or junior high, I took math and height I took something called high school math God algebra. I was no frills. I was ceramics major with paying great dividends today in case anyone three on the far angrier months ago during coil partners, slab pot, I'm all answers and I fear
with a one point: seven GPA, but you have to back out so I went to high school for three years. There were six are masters of baseball and football and therewith with just an automatic a so few back. Eyes, you're going negative on seventh review and I fear biology and ivory add not drivers train. But drivers and those are the two classes- has failed And I never got my diploma because I owed the book room. Money for history, I never return, so I never physically got might diploma. So in terms of education, I dont know that you could do any worse than that. Why you, a bad student, that's exactly those gonna! That's what I'm doing about your time. I noise sing question I went to and I started I had kind of a hippie mom in the seventies, and I were
to what was called sort of an alternative school where you can learn to free range. You now and you didn't, have to boil down and learn anything or do anything, and so from being, ago you zero to the fifth grade, I didn't, learn to spell or write a red, so I couldn't reader spout. So some point. I entered the like school system and when I entered the public school system. I was like that character. Now, from the movie like a feral, childhood should be raised in the woods and I just certain walked in I and I remember weird things like Bell Rang and so and looked at me when we better give gone we're gonna be tardy inasmuch what's tardy, I didn't the way tardy doesn't exist really anywhere, except for the skinny learning safer for a car I now and ever said and as I gotta know any this is, and I couldn't reed and I couldn't write and so
I just sat in the back of the class, but I didn't want anyone to know. I couldn't reed and couldn't write, possessed horribly ashamed and embarrass, so I would this kind of sit there and not in like when they handed me stuff would pretend like. I was reading it somebody, somebody shed hazelnuts, a funny comic. They would handed to me I'd. Look at it and I too the time. How long would a person who knew how to read look at this conic and then at some point, I'd go. That's money adds a good one and I handed back and that's how I just went through. Went all the way through junior high. I went to high school. I want that. I got through I never then how did you like in turn turn you know this like this now it. Doesn't sound legs gonna end very well you're in the middle of a pretty good life so like that you know what happened I learned a lot about grit through sports and about Canada over achieving playing football and and really working hard tat make
way under the varsity team and then, when I got on the construction sidekick, I learned a lot. I use a lot more than grit from like I don't be the guy dig and ditches and clean it up garbage. I want to be a carpenter, you know, so I really work tarred use a lot of grit. You noted work. My way up, tat being a carpenter earned avenant truck in not haven't it sweated out. You know in a ditch all day, be at me inside, put non crown moulding or something a little more interesting, and then I I just went well this this life. It just sounds like a lot of hard work and a lot of people that I don't want to really want to work with. The guys aren't very interesting, conversations, not fascinating, a riveting, not scintillating. Now, and you didn't get pay that the job of our country was you not you and get paid. If you didn't work so
rained. If you re, not a Wednesday jobs, I was cause you didnt pay for Wednesday. You didn't get paid using a paid for Christmas You don't even know how these there's no insurance, there's no nothing but just show up work. You're, not thirteen box in our army hours. We work that we and I know, and tell no medical, no nothing, and I just sort of looked at it and I went what gonna, be like when you're forty five know like your twenty three fine shits engaged elsewhere. man, when you're older. What is gonna be like and- and I kind of did them ass. Words like while you work your way up to form and in our annual you'll, get a bigger truck because, like you. but you still gonna, be on this job site with these dudes in. What are you? What do you want it? What do you want to do, and so I was like in Mainly pragmatic I was like I can't
fill out. An application like physically could not fill out and application. I'm not gonna succeed in any job that involves paper work or organization. I cannot work Can a traditional environment? I could work on a car. Trucks inside or maybe I could do comedy, but I couldn't work in it. attorney's office or anything in account- and I didn't have any any number of special. I didn't have any skills I didn't have any organization, as is as you would learn it and I didn't have any that stuff salves like well you're funny. So what what does that mean? I thought I don't really know what it means. It just means: you're gonna start working on comedy while doing construction and- we'll see what happens and I started taking groundlings classes wall. Working construction and I didn't I didn't know it.
doing and and you're telling me like you're funny, but you don't know how to act so taken acting class and then you could come back and take the intermediate class and ass like we're. Ok, we're where's, the acting class grew, go our inventor Boulevard, Babo, blogger, ok, go take, the money I was making swinging a hammer which was reckoned twelve dollars an hour I didn't have insurance for my truck or anything and as is handing it over to the groundlings acting class or I'd. Take classes are take classes in in churches and basements and everywhere, and like I don't know, what's going on, but I better learn about comedy because I already know about carpentry in its socks. So since we more driven than other aspiring comedian that were like in your groundlings grouper these other. When we did you work harder review more intense, were you more obsessive?
I had a higher level of discomfort most of the people at the ground, wings were college educated. Most all were everyone was a college graduate they should come from some semblance of a family and they some place with air conditioning that could kind of go back to or something- and I didn't have any, that I was they drove Jack as an I drove dots and pick up trucks in over the bench seat, and I, as sites like that. a credit card, I didn't have a credit card, you know they had a sort of life. For themselves. That was a little more normal, so they could, like to dinner and see a movie and turn the air on in their car, and you know so and so so I had a little more fire and my belly low, more desperation of I gotta hurry up, and I gotta figure this out and you guys so these guys head
ads, you were turn easier. Dino had businesses family businesses, they could go into the business or something I didn't have a family fall back. I was just going back on the construction site. So I had a lot more desperation system. Your kids- are gonna grow up. Nothing like the way. You grew up like I mean really well, I do what. How do you think will turn out? You know I I think if they find something their passionate about, and I don't want to sound cliche, but I just mean I want it comes to Light Carmody, there's wounds, backgrounds or show varied. I mean there, People, you know you Conan, o Brien's parents were like professors and he went to Harvard Hilted accurate fetters and no further from mine. Even Jimmy's background is very different than my background and
it shows every other comedian night. You know we all. No, I don't I'm sure Dave chapels background as much different than com, o Brien background, but they do they agree comedy You don't have that dead, yet that's what kind of separate so when you a passion for something then that'll Paul, all different directions and, like all different walks of life into that passion cause you just can't get more diverse, then then But if you really look at how many different background There are and how they all ended up in the same place. So I just want my kids ever passion and then- then I think you'll ever motivation I agree that so if you talk about great passion and perseverance lot, you know you know: yes, I'm an asian mom, but I dont consider myself a tiger mom and one reason: why is that? I think passion comes first and kids? You know
when Seaventimes Umbrella go, he worries about like other pupils. Kids, you don't have opportunities. I worry that then the ivory All the kids, you don't have a chance to try out stuff and, like give up on it and then try out another thing going to filter and eventually find something that you love so much that you'll never ever get what of it, which I bet you'd feel like that comedy that, like it's, never gonna be like done its several like, like all the problem can be solved or like there's no nuances or like people doing new, creative things that you want to hear about so So really what kids need is an arbitrary developed passion in all. They need a little work ethic and perseverance to but more flee when you're fourteen, you should you getting your interests sparked in different ways and like figuring fearing that also thing that if you have that work ethic and the great we speak about that, you can develop it from
Ports are playing an instrument or some other discipline swimming. You know country running. You know you take that you're not going like- a living doing, cross country running or swimming or problem. playing an instrument or plain football like I did, but I was able then just a transfer it. So I just I'm gonna. Take this thing. I learned about hard work in overcoming and sort of pushing through the pain and discomfort I'm just gonna transfer that on do not everyone, and I say you know that it is very interesting that I think you I think that's exactly why parents send their kids too. You know me lessons and joy teams, right I mean not many parents are thinking like. Oh, my my daughter, assigns, could have become a professional, violinist or, like. Oh, you know professional athletes, I think actually why we think that they're gonna learn lessons about life that transfer. But what addressing the me is not everybody does transfer in fact human beings by by default. We
we we have, we really struggle to transfer like general, isabel lesson so so there's plenty it's you who don't transfer those incites. What why do you think you did like did you did somebody pointed two or did you just sort of like see life he saw what you are doing on the field and you'd like just drew the parallel by yourself, and I think, there's a Think first thing we probably have to agree that there's a kind of a base line of intelligence that you need that I dont I don't know how you measure it, but will just call it a sure, universal intelligence that lets you get from here to there like just that's a kind of an eye baseline intelligence? Even though I was completely uneducated and I'm not getting your grades right. Even if you weren't know we're thinking. I was everything what you ass. I come from chaos. My family was a mass. Everything was broken down and poor and grades were through the basement.
Or but I had a kind of a base line intelligence that would help to navigate me. meant into making better decisions. If I didn't have that base line of intelligence, I don't know where it came from, but it's just a sort of a base, and I realize a lot of guys. I grew up with who came similar circumstances and ended up. You know with the oaken families on the construction sites? They lack that sort of base? but that baseline intelligence. That would let them it, propel them to the next thing. It would just let them go to the next thing it would not prevent, from getting to the next endeavour red they just didn't have that base and that's that comes the most unsolvable, Rubik's, Cube ever witches. If you don't have that base how'd, you then why you get any lessons
yeah and also its it's it's a weird thing, which is due to my closest friends, we're really successful. as really young people, one of em worked, it Kentucky Fried Chicken for, like five years saved up like three thousand dollars and bought his own car, and I was like really impressed by that like when he was seventeen o here. As I keep. there aren't any I wasn't working, I wasn't doing saving any money had now. friend that had like up paper saved up at a bunch of money in the bank in a bunch of money, was eighteen hundred box, but I was Ten dollars in total, every liquidated everything and I was like impressed by it and those guys both got stuff, young doing that and they both that being failures. Basically, like in trade and hinder listening. I just didn't transfer any that into workshop.
Transferring the deposit guarantee like not thinking where they like selling, you say, baseline of intelligence. I mean it's something you thought I can. You thought well right like this, just to make it into a verb. I thought: well, Dont like well things must change in order for me to get from here to there and I need rail alive, and I have two questions like that: now they were not allying. How can I only thousand dollars and another car when it would be super delivery? Guy do with his money. He probably body truck our car, something you now outside and high school or what have you and these guys end up just working work Schwab's in our regular workin guys. I mean they're, not in prison and I don't I don't nah, calling them losers like I know it sounds like a real pejorative, but I just mean is
they had a lot of potential and they didn't really. I end up Udall I think that potential I probably had. Maybe less potential but was able to assert a transfer it and grow it. I think this is a habit my dad raised me to to my parents were and actually classic Tiger parents like they'd, never ask me for my report card. I mean there are just busy and so the than they had their its role with other things, so they weren't classic. Are your parents, but I'll tell you one thing that my mom, and especially my dad. Did he just me: old for me, because the tsar where he lived it uses all thinking I tell them in any like you can watch television or you could think about going on to an end to me. This is what I hear about, despite your poor grids. I e worth thinking we're thinking well, and maybe maybe there habit of thinking. It is pretty much what intelligence is. That's a little
and I know we're running out of time now- and I am, I think, your in that a constant he always call it like a sort of a constant calibrating. You know just a constant. Calibration like like they do with these, radar d shall decide your house like Ino. I mean if you ever see those guys adjust that Directv day like they have an instrument like to collect. you know of had a tube and half a click longitude and it's like you're watching the tv and you can make it out, but it starts getting really clear with just little constant, subtle, clacks. You know- and I was always in the mind set of calibration. Where you want. What don't you know? What should you know where your way
This is where Europe is rang that I think I know really true. Maybe it's not true. I That is a habit. I don't think you have to be doing that. You could also not be doing that or you could be doing that very little and I think if your two fourteen year old twins, you know a little bit of work ethic lots of opportunities to try things out. They can find a passion and if they get into the habit of basically like thinking and thinking. Well, I think I'll be ok. there, maybe I also think that too many people think with themselves in mind, like they're looking everything they factor, in fact, themselves in heavily so like driving down the freeways I cannot asshole just cut me off. He's got me off. It's like eating. You off. He just cut a car off the urine do you know? Obey me doesn't know who you are likely to take. I like it,
third person perspective right in your line of your body. Fired you because your boss is a dick. He now it's like a fire because your workers not doing a good job for him or her? That's why you're fired it's pretty strong, forward, like I would go and ask it. Could you remove yourself from the equation? More often when it comes to decision making, you'll have a clear path. If you back yourself out Stephen, I wonder I wonder if the paradox, though, is you ve, got high self esteem. You ve ever really are dime removing yours. From it like you, There's all this research that I love in psychology and economics about. the role that luck and randomness play in life and its huge. and we don't like to admit that because we like to em, but we like to admit that bad as a result of luck and good
Things are the result of our own thing, so yeah. I know It is also interesting to me to hear you describe. We know you're your life story and like you know, One part of me just gets pissed at once they. Why didn't someone. say, or notice Lake wait a minute, this kids in fifth grade and not reading and he's plainly bright enough to be read. Maybe who knows maybe had some you know mild, selective whatever I have no idea but like that pieces. Yeah, but then on the flip side, I think what you know you on this kind of, alternate ral rates. Are your School, but you're not doing The kids, who are trying to be good at school are doing. and in a way that like. It was the training for you to become what you ultimately came
by being an observer and by calibrating all the time as you described it and that is removing yourself from the union- not thinking about how am I going to do on this task? The terms get you couldn't give a shit. You do on the test, but started to become a student of human nature and look bats, You ended up. Parleying into what you do. I'm not saying that was a guarantee success, I'm sure a lot of people could have been in your situation, educate Finally, and have it turned out really poorly defined did. I hear both of you guys saying like when I think about it: the steam verses, whatever encouragement to me, intoxicating in life. Accomplishment justice and of lake. It can be. Incredibly small thing like engine. I will talk about this on our show not longer my dad died when he was pretty young and he had all kinds of physical illnesses and mental, some mental health stuff, and he
when he was at its lowest. You just had this mantra moved the muscles just get up and do anything physically to kind of break this routine. my first started, reading about this stuff that he had been inspired by thought. I don't understand how something so simple, so small can be useful, but then the more I read in the more I saw myself when I would get down I'll see that yes, sometimes it's literally the active picking up there Eddie dishes and marching them to the sink, and maybe it wasn't, maybe a wall, but you get there tiny hit of whatever it is Dopamine Andrew. You could tell us whatever it is that you get from Devil man, proudly fulfilling the thing that you set out to fulfil and The more I learned about psychology, and so on the more I see that our minds are never happier are never more engaged. Then, when we have that little man I'll check list of the the things upcoming that we want to accomplish. They can be big. they can be small and that's what I feel
important for everyone at any level is to get that sense of accomplishment. because you know we all. I think very popular these days to think about. Wouldn't it be great, I could be given something- and you know oh yeah for the first five minutes and then- the eighty years after that. No really not enough. to me is the riddle, the puzzle of how to kind of cell people or to get people to buy into the notion that accomplishment on any level on any dimension, amazingly good for you and therefore good for everybody else, and it is intoxicating in it and it does I a crescendo. It keeps building so I think when I hear your story Adam you, I think back my child under everybody, listening to you things back to their childhood and thinks yeah. You know I wasn't very good or very greedy or very successful or Bob I, but then, Small steps you accomplish, then you look
you think man manner. I really know how to do stuff now like to meet one. The joy, Being older is like you have the perspective to say yeah, I wouldn't. I have been able to do that. The book I'm gonna write this year. I would not have been able to do that when I was twenty five years old, I did Have the ability to plan the now to think it through the trunk up into goals and so on and that's like, that's inspiring? I love to read stories of that. Ass. On the other hand, I don't all like the success porn It's going around like a lotta pod in a lotta no hole, never heard that expression. I have read its good well, but they hold sections of the bookstore are basically lay. It reminds me a little bit of the worried. Well, that's another phrase: like you know: the doctors in clogged up by the people who have enough access in money to health care to come in with every hang now and every pimple Inzana I get it but you know the the p
oh, who are obsessed with more success. I think, is Looking out bit the idea that we need to make success more accessible for more people in part of it? during stories that are unlike hours Figuring out how to these we gain the system how to help everybody get drunk on complement of whatever kind six Ass poor and I was thinking like literally ends with a money shot, unlike regular porn figurative. What I as we wrap up, I wanted drill down and I hate when people say drove out but move the plates. You gave the example move moving the plate. I have eight a fine example of wine. I should have switch my way, thinking and it had to do with ceramics plates in coffee, mugs and literally it was a little meaning. we example of Become successful for for doing
most mundane. Nothing task I'll share that story with you. One. Second, first, let me here bet on no shortage of action and Arts Lucia partner, better line dad Agee sports. Coming back. You see NASCAR Boxing soccer bet online has the best odds on coming games and, if you need more bet online, has a simulated, NFL envy and you see daily also, life no games poker tournaments in the best props in the business this, bet on line dot. Hiv is a promo code, podcast one use your mobile device? You cannot join in, you'll get a sign up ponies. Does it bent on line dot? Agee are exclusive partner, podcast one, don't forget promo code podcast, one for your sign.
Bonus today that online, your online sports book experts, it is bent online dot, agee yeah, in a book my out not talk about material. For me, I used to pull into my house that I rented with- three roommates and lock per cent California and my Zuzu trooper after doing construction all day, and I would like down at the I'll wear your feet, go on the passenger side my Zuzu trooper, and it would always be the ceramic mug that I left with that. I drank, Coffee and on the way out to the job site and then at some point on the way home be rolling around where the foot well for the passenger see- and I would look at it and I'd go. You should take mug inside the house and then I would think why
I can't really reach it from here. I'm gonna have to go outside, opened the door and get it from that side, and then I thought yeah You don't need to bring in the house, there's other mugs in the house, Yoke it tomorrow and then I thought, but you're gonna have to mugs rolling around down there and they may break the handle them a crack because the rolling around and they're gonna clanked together- and I thought yeah. But if, keep one on the sea. Keep one on the floor, then they hate each other and I was like a but what? If I stopped suddenly in the one on the sea and then I thought to myself just get the fucking mug, you thought about it way and longer than you shut up. This is insane. Are you going through your life. This way gonna bargain with yourself every time. There's a nominal task to do. Are you just gonna fuckin, be one of those people are just start doing it, and I thought If you see the mug grab the mug and that's it more bargaining, no more inner dialogue, and I start
doing that and the second I started not Nego gazing. With myself, I started becoming successful so that That's the idea of self awareness may be right leg. You know just that kind of like wait. What doing here what kind of person am I kind of reason. Do I want to be. I did I don't think it's guaranteed. I think you could have like gone to me. That same story but not had self awareness, and then that would have been a turning point right, but even a star about just sort of passing the dishes back to the same kind of self awareness. When you is doing that in the rain. Oh yeah yeah- I just I just what I'm saying is these little? Nothing tasks are, they seem symbolic, but their way in our that animal comes a habit because the after you decide no, I'm not gonna lose this battle and The tiny battle, then the next battle, you're, not gonna, lose a little bit bigger and that's how good
bits girl. But again, you know, word lake in a worthy people who ve built those habits ray, I mean you have kids and then you have to start a blog, but I think that a lot of parenting re, helping kids have totally small winds. There's little habits, because Lake too is going to depend on Monday in Wednesday's, I'm all about I'm totally fine with small wins as oppose. handing out self esteem and no offense either of your kids were really should he athletes. It sounds like you, but I don't think you should get rid of a square that I didn't even son. Long distance running isn't really even a sport when you're nine, just what you do look out. the podcast no stupid questions, Stephen Dub Nerd Angelo Duckworth This has been quite soon. This vying and that our our plan flew by in a sack, and so I suggest we we do this again soon
Now the website you can go to free economic staff com and you can also go to Angela Duckworth that dot com as well It is so satisfying to king to people like yourselves Really. Thank you for joining me today, this is a lot of furnaces, and I mean Vive told these stories about yourself. I you know, I know some ozone. We talk a lot about your football and stuff and talk about the state of football, but I do think that year. Reflection on you know that how you came the person you became. I think stories I mean, and I talk about this lot. Stories are incredibly powerful. Like you can preach all the like rules of habit, making that you want and most people you know it's not gonna work water through a sieve,
but I hear like I'm never gonna forget story, your friggin coffee, mug spired bar. I appreciate that your life. Thank you guys, thanks for us appreciates it doc, you aren't they last but not least, simply save. No one should feel unsafe and home period and that's why they invented syn. Save protect their home today. It free shipping, it simply safe dot com. Slash Adam our Dallas, Texas, Addison, Improv, coming up this Friday and Saturday LIVE podcast. Then stand up as well. I'm your motion, support animals available its back and stock, go, get it get the get their heart cover get the get, the audio is well and is good. I am Croatia com for all the info, San Antonio Texas, coming up July. Thirty, first, two August. First, and until next time the Santa Carla Fur Gina Ball, then Stephen and Angela SAM
well how stick around to have damaged and Adam parole return with good sports next. Radio, David Ricardo Gas, one sports goods sports. I love
its fanned Ya'Ll set for some hot sport stock. I hope your because it is time to get into it here on good sports Dave Damage egg over here, Adam curl over there. What's the poop erase I've been thinking at your shack. really. Why well because been trying to solve the riddle of the Washington Redskins new name and I've been thinking about it, a lot seriously. I've been thinking about it, and my first thing is, as you know, I love the logo. I love the logos, I'd like to figure out a way to keep the logo, but then honour the logo with thing that wasn't you know red scanner of something that wasn't a pejorative and starting to think about Champ during our history when the the to use the the mohawk Indians, I believe, to build skyscrapers because they didn't have the fear of height.
We have so. I dont know what yeah it's a gene. by the way, there's no five story. Teepees. I don't know how this came about free, but they don't think This lot out, it's a high rise, wigwam no data secular, wait! A second wait a second! This is a true thing. I've nemesis, a true thing. True thing is: we need to build skyscrapers in in Chicago and in New York, in places like that and we need. guys to walk along those I beams and those IBM for thirty stories above the ground, and if any of you guys, I mean I'm sure you ve, you been picture it. If you haven't you ve ever it's one thing, across and IBM that's eight feet above the ground. It's another thing to do it when you're thirty shores in the air. It your dimensions. Start your your mind, place tricks on you! I would. I would definitely by the way, I'm one of its a progressive thing, but my
sense of balance has gotten wayward or if I look over an edge right is not a thing of Amr Pie and I look off the edge I get. I get that Vertigo that I hear that it's an age thing I completely by it. So that's what these stared. So what have we call them? Iron, walkers or beam? workers are iron man or so, You know some industrial iron. Might I beam you know. Some good and strong like that now on a positive. We can keep the logo and you know I think it a you cause I've. You know you're from the steel city, obvious how you gonna say I've. I find it a slap in the face walking. I would that may name anyone Els Iron man when the wind, the steel that was used to do than as a scourge backing in W W to what it was was. It was was forged by my ancestors, not in that not more nations, capital or anywhere else, sir, just
lookin for high attack me I didn't deserve on lending a lot more and I'm looking very noble. Wrong name for that tee and you know sky, occurs. Iron walkers beam man, something like that. I honestly you know where I come down on this I've, though they should change the name in L a quarter century ago, or maybe they should never have even started with a different time all that kind of stuff, but I like we ve taught them. Where, where are the intersection in our vain diagram on this? Is I don't know stand the yet it is not on- base that the logo is not offensive? You now, and I also likewise like Seminoles Floor stayed apparently there's some consideration, therefore, to state may change its mass copper like why
this risk. I dont see the offence being commit now. The tomahawk chalk is job is is is another matter, but the name Seminoles on face is not offensive. Writes a singular thing is now logo it strikes me Jerry. Somebody tweeted me and you can put this picture up because it will probably make shack laugh, but I d in short pilot for Fox and animated pilot, called Miss Bertram. I did my Mr Bertram and this about as about this only ten years ago, nine or ten years ago, and the very beginning of the movie or the Anna Matic as they call it's like these a little. You know they don't do oh pilot, that you're like an eleven minute long, nine minute long, animated, very beginning of it? You can grab. still, maybe Gary Vivid,
beginning of it, had him teaching at when we double yo you'll, see I was way ahead of the curve on this. This is ten years ago. He he taught it. at a junior high called George Washington Junior High and it was modified to George Washington, carver junior, high and yeah. I guess: you're not just blow it up. I don't need to run it and then it was. It was home. It was home of the brave, but the praise for the praise were replaced by the Vikings and they just put a Viking helmet on top of the brave and that's it TAT fits kind of meetly, never mind, never mind that the Viking has flaxen hair, but still other, but otherwise a pretty pretty easy adaptation to make ride. So ten years ago we change the name of the school we made. It into a black
and then we took the Indian out. We made it nor Viking and her hair. That's really clever. I do I as a note now that you touch on that. It is a fine reminder that it is confusing, the Viking logo. We know we know his wretched passed, what the Viking dead, but it's also can using cause he's a blonde and you don't associated of guy with that I mean not no disrespect to draw go in the rocky, for course, but usually tough guys have have dark. Now our wallets, and it is also it's the shape of the hair, the Viking Gary if you look like yeah, also, usually, if you like our skies outbreak real, like Cindy Olsen, are now trying to think of. Go to a little house on the prairie,
There was a little girl who was a little nemesis on Little House, like the mean girl from Little House on the prairie, Nellie, all sin or something, and she had the exact same little blonde, braids, that the Viking Mass God has which I would. I would argue that the four is is one thing, but the double braided on the Viking not good and also happens if effective, adds up a gay yak as Thor doesn't brave right! You know he's not to take any action. They are very guarded taken us and by the way that to take it up, they are the one you had was good. That taken a step further Essentially the same hair is- little girl from a little house on the prairie number one Gary. If you find a picture of that same actors from the love boat, you will see the exact same hair
also say. if you are a Viking, this is pre if stalls and guns and rifles and everything is a lotta hand to hand combat right and, I have seen I've no there's two things. I've learned from watching ex fight out front clubs on tee that hair is essentially a handle. That's attached, your hat when you're done and combat with somebody, and they grab one of those braids its Joey them grow, make a handle on your head and now they're gonna hold your head and their hang another got John they're leash, yeah your lease yourself and now they're throwing knees, endear, India, cranium and there nothing, you can do about it even sexually woven to row panels on each side. Your head, not not not now idea, not ideal yonder. I wonder if, the? U S military way back when started shaving heads if this was specifically
address many of your concerns, Lebanon go down. You know what I'm dead the Vikings dynasty or that the actual vikings ruling each of the planet, earth braided pair well look a little now I look at a level now I'll send you got the same hairs, the Viking, Mass God, and if also, I know it's true one of the greatest things. I ever saw the beginning the early days of the U Fc, with some ass, wipe out there with a long ponytail in a back when of sea, resist whatever cage, riding and subdued walk right across the ring grab the guy's, ponytail and just Perceval kicking, even if he kept meaning em over any. Wouldn't let go the guy's ponytail, there's nothing that guy could do about it. Let me his death bed online. Speaking of you see, I do a little like you have see action. My
I recommend bed online dot. Agee I've seen NASCAR Boxing soccer. It's all their best odds for upcoming aims need more, but online has stimulated NFL Nba New have see daily Also. I live casino games as well poker, tournaments, best props in the business, had been online, daddy GI or you can use Europe mobile device to join with the promo code, podcast one and you can sign up for you, get a free sign up bonus. You get it women, s and I got to get in on the action plan. Bet online, dad edgier, closer partner at podcast one and don't forget promo code podcast, one for your sign up bonus today, bet online. Your online sports book experts baseball basketball, the pack and soon after pro football action in last thing. That's why
I am a toy Paloma Lou, not a Ricky Williams. Guy Ricky Williams had the long hair. He complained when he got tackled by a toy Paloma, hollowed out tack, abide after interception wanted while on the one with the hair hanging out there, I guess that's in play, say that's that's the proper response and dignified response, all right good sports accommodate you tomorrow and tell them for Adam Corolla Dave damage. It could follow the atom corrosion on Twitter. It Adam Corolla shoe followed Eastman onto a cruel. You leave us