« The Bugle

Bonus Bugle - Election Fatigue

As we prepare for one last push, Andy looks back at some classic election moments, and how the world has changed in the last 10 years

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The Bugle Audio Newspaper, a visual world viewers and welcome to be will issue four thousand one hundred and thirty one sub episode. I short, of course, for all I needed We thought from full emotion in the british election campaign to spiritually, fumigate myself and come to think of it from all other news as well. I am and is also in and for your dedication this week. We are writing the esteemed archives of the Bugle podcast, which has been chronicling the world for posterity since time immemorial, for two thousand and seven offer get one of the two that will also be some lies about our voluntary subscribers and a prime off got from a more recent show, plus I plug for my how fair to run this year's edition of and is ultimately the certified history. It begins on the sixteenth of December running from the sixth
the twenty first than the twenty seventh and twenty eight and thirty eight of December and the second to the fourth of January tickets, available on the internet and be the greatest Christmas present. Anyone could gave and or receive, What's that show will becoming right at the start of the show very was moving on to all right off the bugle archives. Here we are in twenty nineteen scuttling towards the end of yet another decade for humanity. This, of course, is nothing new for the bugle weeping saying decades blotted to their end, since before you were born assuming you're under just on the ten years old, the last episode of the previous decade with bugle. Ninety nine- and this is what the world sounded like back there. so this is the ninety nine full edition of the Beagle the world's longest running audio newspaper, reverence world. So long The fact that I can no longer say those words were slightly slurring like Boris Yeltsin.
Thought jump twenty years ago that we be sitting here now recording and ninety nine bugle. There definitely wouldn't be wound of being able to process having the capacity to do that technologic. right, so we always twelve- Tommy, I didn't know you never met, wouldn't wait for ten years, and also at that point in my life I was definitely consider acres of football and not a canadian Roy. Once I can see Our main fantasizing amounts itself. you still our guide. That is technically true. It is you, The daily shows a stepping stone vacuity. Whatever cycles will do whatever it takes up a further delay, historic grieve over a number of reasons. Course it's the last ever to digit bugle below We will take place in a year containing consecutive zeros for at least the next ninety years into the we have a bugle that we will be recorded in the wake of the two hundred mating anniversary of the bill of rights becoming part of: U S: law on the forty five per day of rest,
let in stone, cold, Steve? Also, the first of bugle, whose number sounds like a conversation, the Berlin CAFE, which an English speaking tourist toward around of hot beverages from Oxford Boat, race, crew met, cops but is refused. Ninety nine also oh that's, no way to say goodbye to double digit. Also, the first be able to continue to either the words on Poland or did efforts to any italian bagpipe variants that's what the This is an educational broadcasts. Keep thinking about all. It contains reference to the chemical elements happening on the cheek TAT, Chauvelin transition, metal with em atomic number of seventy two you'd the production of control roads for nuclear reactors, which was of course named after the Cleveland, Indians, baseball player, Travis Hafela. Sorry up drifted away again, as always some sections of the leg straight in the written this week. The first in a series of
Free Bugle, Christmas threats and seven, threatened Unfollow, like with our seasonal provocation, scientifically proven, to be fifty percent more disquieting than the average threats, and here is a number one threat. I will summon the vengeful furies of the underworld to pursue you during your every waking moment. Until a prospect of death themes are blasted relief from the abominable striving of those unconquerable based. Who will stop at north until I taste your warm blood on their cornflakes of hatred, whose very existence is concerned with nothing, but your total destruction who will not rest their eventual limbs until you have been cast into a chasm of nothingness? If you don't up singing those carols come on clear off when you're, not gonna, winds, pine, in the Bin does Britain have a future in their wake. Which love them has ground to a halt. To the two said tomatoes up to now, and in which nineteen million people watch the fun of the amateur carry Oki computationally x factor we ask was, sacrifice our forefathers might into world wars really worth the effort.
so I think it's fair to say this decade not had a complete monopoly on ridiculous behaviour enough the bugle is one of the most experienced podcast in the universe. At its covering british general elections are run of three unbroken general elections covered is the envy of new upon costs such as alternative history, both what if Teddy Roosevelt had been Madonna, don't but that invest that's a new kitchen safety show in case you were wondering, and he knew show from the Audio comin network for deliberately boring podcast that help their lesson is get to sleep. The show is so one in which funds are the influential rock legends. The who described that back up home POW devices show entitled talking about Ah generator, there's a name for everything in this industry. The first general election to be covered was in twenty ten, when thirteen years of labour government, spluttered and floods to an end top thigh. There's like a cave,
what are you, ok, copies, I'll die and bye? Bye gave a wrong I'm still by Geoffrey Guide, you degree, maize shockwaves gave us a lot We ve been waiting a long time to get our boy back, so felt better outlet, Ambrosio rescued love. Well, I d. You woke up in a different Britain than the one you fell asleep in Yellow Dorothy waking up and realizing that cheese actually still in Kansas. It's just that Kansas swung frighteningly for after the right back, not a scarecrow Dorothy. That's a homeless man who now has no welfare state to help now, click inhales together, three times and say I wish I'd voted yesterday this out about what is the atmosphere over there and I well John, just just total panic. As suggested in the top of the show, we still with way, if someone to take control of this kind as sir
door, all being listened to those tat, it was a hung. Parliament's yet holidays election we are calling on Friday at the moment. Still all up in the air as we recording David CARE, is making a speech and which I believe, these, declaring that he has the queen hostage in the book We call on you gonna killer, unless we let Lamby, Prime Minister or put Breton cowardly without a government bugles noise. You think this is really a huge opportunity. A big chance for the queen draws around today, only foreign a machine gun into the air. I think she could have the dictatorship that I know she's been dreaming. about since she was twelve, ensuring that she that they should have fallen on people. One hundred and fourteen, because under fourteen is the number of times I would Cameron, has bad practices off the cuff acceptance by each just hastily rewrite. also the number of Times Gordon Brown was trimmed. He was born a hundred years earlier and in Russia, IRAN ensuring also the eight one one fall in Germany is a road leading to Central Berlin and with hunger
The right wing president telling us that we might as well have let Hitler win take over ended. Divert the boy I won one for Northeast London straight to the Reichstag, so it's been got kind of amazing Labour party lost the election by the conservatives. also lost the election and the liberal Democrats. Will they lost the election really quite bad. I really lost the armies of the assorted Kelson nutcases. Dive also lost the elections, some now everyone having lost action without onto squabble about who is law the least and because it had done the most votes and seats, but they don't know that this is all going over. Who has the mandate the government clearly and with them under thirty percent of the votes from a sixty five percent turnout tune in fifty five seats? He just ran twenty six for overall majority the Tories on three, We too, as we speak a cup,
it is now saying this breaking news on the bugle common is now saying he does subscribes to people but has listened to it we now have is a that's love, like that's grass, comfort from Reuters. While we sang he's, gonna, try and form a minority governments and talk to the other parties that will amidst this could be a momentous type of british politics shown. This could be the day the british politics grows up and make a thing Andy. The problem there is that your presupposing engage, select politicians with the capacity for shame and that this ludicrous, but many old Sistered. I was soon incredible. Dilution, gonna votes on a love, the smell of democracy in the morning presently similar to a dairy farm. In fact, in the morning ass military, mostly for sounds all I want to and has a lot of people milking. It all I can holy mercies inevitably left behind its truly on college on, but there Since you know nothing better this life than right in that direction? In a box nations?
if someone you ve, never heard of you is what democracy is all about, John, so no government as it stands by diminished and adopting this result as particularly surprised. Anyone Gordon Brown, actually released a statement saying that he would take full responsibility for the election defeat a day before the poles even are not questioning is facts there. On the obvious questioning its timing is a regular Henry. The fifth Batman man gather around- I just want you troops to another when Agincourt Zeit Ultra catastrophe. I mean a complete massacre that it is on me. Ok, my bad, I think that's it was boarded the brazier certain death, everybody. Let's get this thing over with, without Churchill, in the first draft of his famous, we were fighting on the beaches of footmen hills. Little skip it
we want more confident and he said there will fight the model beaches we'll find him in the hills. But Frank, ETA refunds, your chances, the gems in pretty strongly the moments animals they probably deserve to an economy in about a team of the course, the war so far, and we can make complaints Rowley so were best of luck to Idol Finnish to English, one thousand three hundred and two this picture, but luckily I don't go to matter what come on come out. Fighting big win but some, but we ve got to talk to the touch of excitement and Mr Donnelly that number postal, those who go missing an event that, without a hundreds of people locked out as the pulse closed at ten o clock last night. Because there were huge cues, because I think committed. The mistake of living in a massively constantly run area and then I observed privilege it come. There is genuine suitable, almost lockers, the break down into violence. We had a real touch of the sort of afghan electorate experience. So what kind of sharing?
Obviously around the world and uneasiness shuddered asserts given take what about the people of Britain have spoken. John, I spoke like one volition. What they said was now all three party start jockeying for allowances: law there on a jungle. Reality show all about wait: a jar of cockroaches. I find that process might have even more dignity than the one they are about to embark on it. Also very people completely reject the if any one of them stop to think about it, for a second would realize they might not actually want Britain's budget deficit is said to be, even big of increases this year and they are on the verge of bankruptcy anarchy. This might actually turn into an argument about you. Have you have it all work on one most? It's yours road here but, Prime Minister, please don't call me that, because it off
you re election to get people coming on claiming victory, but some I think I lived in a common base level aside. Now, it's not looking good unjust DES Regional claimed two feet under. I think commons. Failure to win election out rights must go down was one of the most spectacular electoral lupus in our history. but John was staring down the barrel, but more than that, that pointed the barrel at their own, face, and written a note, saying sorry to everyone they'd. Let down then placed the consent. His finger on the trigger, so quite how it went wrong is is frankly baffling secular and they have a huge support from the press. The conservative, some and this sort of FED into the anti live downswing. Nothing in the last few days. A worries about the hung parliaments in the newspapers have said so that these concerns at the moment it out bothered by the Tory Press onto the nations conflict about how basically looking at Greece now is basically a computer simulation. What Britain will be like if, as a hung upon,
Just flames rights, one hundred thousand years of british Civilization conflagration in one fell swoop of electoral indecision, about houses on parliament's. It probably vote to ban all advances MIKE's in seventeen. Eighty five, unlike all women, what concrete, Birgus, sobbing that was that with a level of scare mongering going on and the conservatives if they do forming the government, which now seems like, minority, given they will be the least popular incoming. Since the nineteen twenties, but I think that these low exe Patients could really help John because people had enough have been let down by politicians there sick to death of it, quite literally, in some cases, due to an age s under funding, but you can only let people down if they expire few to be any good in the first place, and the way this election is gone shows that people don't expect anyone. To be any good anymore. I will be sold all concerns it only to do is stop the queen banking
about the Chinese and everyone will think I dont better than expected of Us- could actually work work for them. There were there there were also, of course, the traditional voting irregularities quite a bit aspire to the day you mention the allow lines and we will be shut out, apparently also they stole. My fifteen month old baby will set the polling giving him the option to vote is now is an exam economy from south world. Are you received the card in the post, along with a cause for his parents, and everyone seems to have had a bit of a laugh about their Sunday about funny? It is that this baby was given the opportunity to vote, but that baby should have got off these ill formed. We can actually voted. Does he know how many people die each other? We mistakenly said that God does it, because he hasn't even bother to develop these bright into the boy waken even process. That is a potential pleaser information at. Is that not ethical of the apathy endemic in the younger?
the violence that should have carried him into the buggy. Both I've left in there until he made up his mind, or at least eight Naballo, piper. Twenty turn that an election that as we look back at it now, has a fuck of a lot to answer for hatred, Have you got anything of the cottage grown flow from recent episodes, weaken paths out with not now Andy great Ocean. It said no and what Russia Thy Juba drank it up say something I'm in the british establishment has been the rocks to its call a mouthful place this week, a strict become dancing with, I believe, has royal charter has its aviation? first, the same sex, routine and its spots, almost two hundred complaints to the BBC some view,
apparently so they would no longer wants to show of same sex. Bearings became a regular feature. Now I no longer wash the show articles on never watched the show in the first place, by either so strange tipping point very strange. Isn't it wrong, The father is tediously repetitive formula garbage dump the fact that the up so seemed a same. Sex dance could have. But you're, the element of a show yeah, it seems It's almost as if it's not really about the dancing right. Ok, it's almost as if the other we d its resolve it and I think a couple hundred complaints coming into the baby say from let's face it: s House and what I would say to these people is getting paid off. To complain to the baby say, is my job. although this is my turf
Complaints of the BBC, in spite of the only effective way, get anything done in this country. One complains that baby say: buddy causes the whole organization to go into lockdown, whereas a million people from playing on the streets of London recently barely got twenty seconds on an architect, Stalin who say one camp. Can stop the baby say. A million complaints is just a statistic. I mean either got a nice moment. Just stem a bus, is british establishment and having cybersex Paris dancing feels like a measure so some what social progress. But then I My mother destroy me leftist, subversive those strange middle names general elections, of course, are not the only elections in town, not in this town anyway, because back and bugle twenty seven we reported on the election for London, man featuring a man with whom we have all become heroically more familiar british politics now,
Prime Minister, Gordon Brown has been handled and Mould a ballot box like a teenage binge drinking a bad night out, on the mind, aside, less than ten percent of potential voters voted for the Labour Party. On the plus side. He could say that, with a thirty five percent turnout in the local elections, seventy five percent of potential vouchers and all didn't vote against him. So I once again those key floating voters- autonomy, crucial, I don't on the second one? Was a hundred and ten percent turnout now, I'm, including the ten percent, actually voted for labour pathology. Sixty five percent who loved him oversee so much then want to risk getting it wrong by writing and acts in the wrong books ass. They may even not the big story from them that yet again the landslide winner was the concept of people not giving a shit about legs. as always gonna, be the. Why John best what we fall,
wars, where we fought wars, so that we have the right not to give a shit about stuff? True, true, so the floating those other begin by voting. Of course, I do mean bobbing face down on a resolute of disillusionment, Gordon Brown things to be in some trouble Andy as his unpopularity roads is like a sunflower of doom asked whether he had a presentation problem and was less able to give a human answer to a question and his predecessor, Tony Blair. He said my job is to work every day on behalf of the people of this country. So, yes, a simple, yes Blair Data about uncanny quality, of giving you bad news in a way that a friend would obey a friend who was directly responsible for the bad news in question. In the same into Gordon Brown was asked by the Germans. What the first thing he thought up in the morning was when he woke up one day, and he said it was a housing crisis and how to get first homeboys onto them. The first thing before thinking, where am I don't wanna, be awakened
someone doesn't get me a cup of coffee, the next two minutes, I'm gonna kill the first thing that moves now, nor that the housing crisis on the horrendous thing is that could even be true. I wouldn't pudding past him. Thinking that enjoys wife during a romantic dinner found his l saying what are you thinking golden only then to reply or whether interest rates are genuinely the long term fiscal interest of this country is a serious man, Andy up for some inexplicable reason. We don't want that. We certainly don't he's got, has also been left in the position of the guy he would have had to take charge on the titanic. Had Captain Smith said my God, you are right it. The nice book I saw it- was only a chocolate wrapper. My mistake it at the time There must be off now, while you ve always been an ambitious. Let you take the reins, brought get more chopper on our way. The results of the London marrow election is not quite out, as we record It does seem that can Livingston the incumbent. My could well lose to joke candidate. Boris Johnson
raising the possibility that he will do a Mugabe and refused to announce the result for weeks eventually psychiatric gonna have a recounts. Who knows about have nor can say for sure John, is at this very moment Big chinese ship more on the Thames Outside City Hall in London, music we're waiting in reception, saying now, it's a special delivery, MR levies, and has to sign for himself it does seem that London, a major international city, is about to vote for comedy rather than competence and have what are we the rest? I really do have something to look forward to and Johnson does the worst. They are not rockin entirely disagree with it. It's gonna be awful. It's gonna be absolutely awful, but it's gonna be funny. The whole thing is a bit like a plot of a low budget, comedy film. Those are the greatest ever example of a drunken. Dare going much better than you, effective biting the plot. His man by its friends. He comic mayor of London friend, take back whilst hammered.
man, says, there's no way. You'll win your an obvious tat friends as good points, but let's have a law anyway. Friend ends are winning by default. Asks man. What do I do now months has done? I might just wing it friend says yeah good call. How badly could possibly go, leaving it open a less a equal and finally sport now Andy Bugle has, of course, always been at the forefront of reporting if he will reporting on the events that other media outlets fair together over ten. Go in Beagle sixty one. We were proud to be exclusive media rights holders for the world overreaction championships, an event that now simply happens every day everywhere. All the time What news now and there's been violence at a tennis match? Hooliganism is black John Novak. Joke of each fans clashed with Emma delicate fans, the Australian open all day, I went to segregate tennis fans joke riches. Modalities can't can't live in harmony. They should be opposite ends of the call on just relieved that a doctor Jones
and the Wozniak crew didn't flare up during the women's third round. Much when tiny somewhat. War could possibly possess these people violence over ten years, while purposes because joke of which they were number four in a big fan of the bugle, or least he would be if he could be bothered to listen to it job when she's, serbian and delicate. Although now American was born Bosnian, so I guess it's starting to Fritz together a bit without a little bit of historical context. I guess it shows for Serbian. Both Europe come now over the last fifteen years. That now that I just Chaz at each other, little tennis tournament, I'm not committing human rights atrocity, against each other. It shows how far we ve come. Well, that's it from the archives for this week's sub episode will be back with a full preelection bugle next week and finally, Harrison lies about all voluntary subscribers. Thanks to everyone who has contributed to the continuing independence and advert freedoms of the Bugle Biofuels
take. It now lies. Let's have some lies musically. Miller the Kohen thinks ice hockey. Pox should be made of licorice and that every time a place goes ago, they should be allowed to eat it. Jake is. This may give an unfair advantage to the licorice obsessed Sweden, but she's export is a plan. Nonetheless, Green Morrissey simply cannot understand why, in slalom skiing Thee participants done simply have curved skis. The left one coming in the opposite direction to the right one so or you would have to do to manoeuvre away down the costs would be too low. not one leg than the other at the appropriate moment, Peter, will you believe it is one of the great disappointment of modern life that we don't have weird rituals like people used to make up for fun in the olden days, he asked Did you try to revive this great tradition by her
grandfather clocks off a cliff at midnight on the first day of each month in symbolic defiance of the passage of time, What enshrining heard television and jumped to build that Richard low simplistic bandwagon every morning Martin now burns a page of newspaper and a bit of an encyclopedia then walked the smoke around with a fan, do only goodwill of whatever malevolent cosmic force controls the quality of life. I signals in public places. Manson did an unauthorized home phd dissipation and which discovered that the vast majority of frogs option twenty six percent of them. Don't actually know whether they are frogs or toads and more to the point, simply don't really care one way or the other I dont know their amphibious lives by labels, says Scott, and I respect that. too much more jiffy as a cup. Friends, who are strong believers in nominative determinism Standard Risa, because their gold leaf brewer a nurse about and all, respectively the professional.
t taster unaccountable, Michael, Nicole Kelly think we might It will be a little bit more tolerant of immigrants if every ten years, everyone in the world was forced to migrate to somewhere else for the next ten years, just as he what it's like, they admit, they have not got so our for logistics, older castings, but they all reckon that it would give international sport a long overdue shake up of the new jobs. Peggy and Harry seemed all set. An end to the competition to come up with new series covering the mysterious disappearance of everyone on board the ship, the Merry Celeste in eighteen. Seventy two, still yields theory is not a game of dolphin Paolo between the people on board, descended into a fight between the two teams. The polo dolphins and a school of nearby sharks have been betting on the outcome. Joseph Hickey staring was that return? People on board were packed off by joint space pterodactyls before the creatures flew back to the planet source? Whence came all the dinosaurs, of course. In fact, these oppose
asteroids at what amount was in fact a spaceship taking them home, but that is a different story. Harrison his marriage or less theory, was that the crew discovered a magical undersea kingdom spend about it's on the felon over the locals. Unjust settled and really they really liked the way of life there once they got used to it being a little bit. Soggy great wealth, systems and terrific sowship, all three of those receipt, highly commended certificates in competition, weld on them And finally, a voluntary subscriber known only as Lord Horny spit valve claims that on an archaeology course in Crete, he discuss What evidence that pacify the mythological queen, who famously allegedly formulated with a bold to produce the monitor, also bit of a pact damn thing going on and how call analogies infringements in with the largest land mammal available. Again, impressive I became the pregnant with a hybrid humanity, embryonic but unlike the mine at all, it was never ever mentioned in the myths or indeed anywhere else. It was very ouch
the elephant in the womb, I'm dumb, but next week by.