This is a port from the bugle podcast, don't com, the Bugle Audio Newspaper, as you all work. We can welcome to issue two hundred and forty four of the vehicle audio used by before. I wish you well for the week, beginning Monday, twelve of all this to two thousand thirteen, I'm Andy's aldermen in London, where there is nothing to and the New York City foreign. Hilarity harpoon into the purpose. Pomposity, that's John Oliver! how the hell out If was a thousand mercy harpoon, I just think it right that importers was needed to be put out of his misery. It's me We bring it in.

The terrible like some one. More wake of my daily show pseudo. How summer adventure they within four shows of managing to hand the office practice. John Stewart in an unlikely want peace, which is a Equally, the exact point at which He probably expect me to do something we somehow how the building to collapse at the Seams I'm sure there's a button somewhere under the desk. The Germans written do not touch on will at some point excellently knockings it with my knee inexplicably Lord Unita Studio under fifty feet into the air, or Everything will be fine. Apologies fails once these waken. How? I doubt that bugle wise, we're gonna be off for the next few weeks as we're taking a summer break. You're going on holiday or hell the summary spine while wave.

A Spaniard, this role- and I am going somewhere facility- would take you on a? U s o Toole almost as soon as we fully to show that we are currently them exactly where I Our aid should certainly MIKE for some pretty incredible stories when I get back once they spice. So will be offer think for the next. The next three weeks. Of course you can consult self buglers boy looking tickets to my run of the Soho Theatre? starfleet whatcha behind some of the time, some of its anti up for the satirist for I showed you can email your satirical commissions in two, doubts arise this at satirist for how I don't kill the rivers an email for it jumped Dawson. So, since we last bugs you John, we want the ashes, the way the ashes. Would we

in Austria, with the concept of whether we want the ashes and probably the least heroic unspectacular, supporting victory of old timer thing than they were in the process of essentially being thrashed, sat in a bill. In watching rainfall. Until I had run out, it was now. What are they doing? Bad law was. Did this lesson the achievement, Johnny Loaf, Edmund Halloran, changing nor guide work not to fund at the top of Mount Everest, had fallen off in the night, leaving them snoozing already on the top of the mountain they have less than their achievements. Only slightly, but it would certainly taken some of the throw out the moment of conquest, which is a little our say that for your England, clinching ashes attitude Beagle too for four to fall for, of course, the responses given by Churchill, Stalin and Roosevelt's at the press conference in Yalta in nineteen. Forty five, we're not

my journey from knots magazine how many testicles lay each had Churchill, honest Brit, said to stall and never forget all things up with for reason. Can. We seem to be outdone by the Russians, also one with full Monday, twelve August John Doric day in the history of the universe, he'll be a hundred and thirty years to the day since the extinction of the quota. I'd say it's like zebra was never like horse depending on whether you are a man or a woman, I think, and the lost specimen pockets organ Amsterdam and eighty and eighty three just what We could later fashion designer Cocoa Chanel was born for the first and only time ratings of that what you will under sighing. Where'd how many you, how so many of our clothes was stripy on top and not stripy lower down and with a title a minority of any vice chair did you make.

People are crushing all about fashion, but yeah she was famous for nineteen. Twenty seven stripes Rhine shrunk yoga as promoted by Johnny Cash Structural Roma. Five and thirty years ago. As regards ninth of August the first ever Mass in the New Sistine chapel? That was in one thousand four hundred and ninety three the challenge of fancy stuff all over the walls, but the ceiling Farewell assailing, we all know that twenty five years later, as reported as long ago as a bugle, thirty four sorted out by Michelangelo Mickey paintbrush himself, but why? They have to do it well up whilst Dumb Pope six is the fourth Mov Commission top painters through the walls like a pair of Gmos, Newport Jellies, IRAN, a big shots on budget for the ceiling and ended up here Brian's home into areas of british Decker, company based in Louis Human, Southeast, London, the economist Braun, a forty five or all painted writer on his might and ditto paced up and down

for some ladders and a lower load of work. Experience kids, one week later, all done massive picture. A crucified Jesus holding a point of order. I with the slogan some Kentish Isles, Father, forgive them by Oh just how to brew. Oh said, Sixtus, the fourth That's why you're quite was so low stay for twenty five. Is until tomorrow, Michelangelo's called into a sort of eager five hundred and thirty years ago. Fascinated Oriente, As always, a section of the vehicle is going straits in the Bin. This week. Your health love it I hate it being. Of these all the rice these days and not a day, goes by without some prompt up lunatic bolting our laboratory telling us that if you eat a you'll live forever, but if we drink be you'll deservedly die the next day, The more scientific research goats suggested that drinking cocoa can stop all. People going bunkers come. Let them have something sort of the food

colleges of old age. We give you the run down on the latest health advice from Senor Science, including eating. Pizza by language, on your face and eating your way out can make you crash your car drinking swarms, milk and great feelings of social alienation unless you milk the swollen private first anything bricks, can damage your teeth birthday cake with icing shaped like a sports pitch and with little sporting, He's on it doesn't necessarily make you better at that sport, but it might and thinking CHE Guevara playing table finish, can cure off righteous. Also Jimmy Jungle, Micro, younger thats, from south african research, and we give you the latest from the cycle of psychology foods, psychologically foods budget, yeah, I can help you balance on a tightrope cauliflowerlike. Your brain go crunchy and erect all dysfunction. Try, carrots that section in the bank Tom saw those we call more pro this time, it's Chile,

the? U S and Russia are finally again Andy and it's great to see such a classic international rivalry at each others, drugs once more. It was Funds around the world have been waiting for this, the Yankees Red Sox, Marcie, match of passive aggression, the Ross Rachel relationship of will they won't. They destroy each other and the entire planet. With our electrifying chemistry these these Psychological snafu has, of course, been blowing up since Edward Snowden. The official set leaks, a lot into them Moscow Airport terminal checking in with a large amount of diplomatic baggage. Russia apparently given aimed temporary pipers, meaning that aid can leave the apple which aware of we'll will be free to go wherever he likes. Andy and put it in no way will be watching every time he said. Just thinks about blank. Well, I you. I must Evans Relief,

cold war is back on the after Barack Obama, through this diplomatic toys, out of the presidential prime, about about Snowden on our once again at each other's throats liked who top surgeons in a one on one emergency tracking, ultimate competition, and this has been the kind of result of some some kind of growing tension in the recent G8 summit, a Brahman proteins, get on like a house after a fire smouldering without ITALY, is much warmth as I used to be, and that sets out to build on with ever having to bad extremely carefully around that working analogy thanks a lot about analogy at the start of because it was stupid that seem to work. It was, stupid that seem to work. There was that's bullshit. The story of Mercury Ass, a sort of your career ass, ten on site.

This has led to the: U S: government, cancelling its fourth, meeting between President Obama Putin in Saint Petersburg there's only one problem with that, and that is the fact that the president is going to be in Saint Petersburg about time anyway for the G20 summit that is going to be all could offer my have found the only way to make their next meeting even more tents than the last war. How is he possibly go to negotiate the emotional minefield? Oh, I am sorry that you could not make our schedule the meeting tomorrow, Mr Obama yeah, so it's just a busy doing something else. It's Petersburg it's always whether during my visit, please all fountains. You know me always five of velocity, Jackie Water love it carbon makes it the last I'm an american president's acquit the summit with the Russians

of course, as when Ronald Reagan got pissed off with them, Michael Gorbachev, For allowing so guidebook currency, some arms talks and ninety ninety six Reagan storm that, with the words I cannot can concentrate with a guy Paul vaulting over my head. I don't care how in goodies but some the White House said about the up of the summit. We believe it would be more constructive to postpone a summit until have more results from our shared agenda translation into plain English is Gulf, you, yourselves commies would become more constructive to do nothing on public publicly created diplomatic. So that you know that there is about as much construction going on as there is on the greek government building site Some of the great that's like that pluses and minuses to us. On the plus side. It frees up Barack Obama September the great some of you to clean up a shed. And lastly, of course he was busy with the election sir stuck at Basle,

the Good NEWS on the minus side show well closer to a full resumption of cold war facilities on the look at gives both comes more time to see. Other nations may be american passing up with Venezuela, and Russia can hammer out some kind of more progressive deal with, on the Monti side. The ever present furtive nuclear installation is back on the plus side, the ever present You got an relation, definitely have the movie industry and on the minus side, most importantly real dampener, this week's world athletics championships just such a shame, John somebody, those athletes and we preoccupied by international political tension just think it could probably not a tenth of a second or some other time. But John what poaching Johnny seems to be loving it. He loves these serve and kind of retro style. Clear rules, that's it! I was given the oppression John of leader, who saw your That's what he wasn't born. Seventy ideas earlier with a massive unshakeable mustache already on his face.

Or slowly hinted that kind of which they are slightly more control of who goes where on what realise, how kind the destination should be and how long they had the right to get return ticket and I'm John John looking Emmon scuff cold war fetishism when he was having breakfast as a child. He perhaps to Malta on his plight and wagged his finger above inside was mother, I'm not afraid to press this booming. There is also a growing number of people calling for the: U S to boycott the winter Olympics in Sochi, due to the fact that the rushes record in gay rights is about as good as its record in non potato based alcohol present. Ball on J Leno this week for reasons best known to himself. He said I think protein and Russia have a big stake in. Sure the Olympics work, and I think they understand that for most of the countries That is why the olympics- we wouldn't tolerate gays and lesbians being treated differently so far, so good, Andy,

then he went on to say their athletes have to complete. Russia also upheld the olympic Spirit than every just It should be made on the track or the simple on the balanced pain, I'm people, sexual orientation should have anything to do with it. Just one problem with that, I'm the one that is, of course, that Russia is hosting the winter. That's not the Regular Olympics, which are of course always hosted in London and opened every time by the queen, jumping out of a howling helping them. That's always been the way it's happened this swimming pool in the winter Olympics, Andy's frozen, saw them, and that involves a limping divers plummeting headfirst into sheet. Our political, broken bodies are dragged July by the norwegian judges. Swimmers, of course, thrush around belly. Belly stuck to the ice, desperately trying to slide up and down the pole. Although I will say watching you signed both run. A hundred meters in three feet of snow sounds profoundly entertainment, Stephen from

The british media has urged David Cameron too, to support moves to spread, split, Astrid Rushworths. Twenty forty, not winter Olympics, and he urged the oil see President Jacques Roma to coach take firm stance on behalf of the shared humanity that the Icy spoke to represents an August. The ice sees response to that would probably do you realize how much that that firm stance would cost, Can we not use the Olympics to educate people just as well? and twenty twelve caught taught Britain that you don't have to be grumpy with everyone all the time less. So she twenty four educated Russia. Look go on, uniting all that's for less than a decade later, the Berlin Wall comes down Berlin itself, launching thirty six less than a decade later, Hitler takes

The brown on the world's worst ever honeymoon of Nazi Germany is destroyed. Sarajevo, nineteen, eighty four, whose currently sitting in the Hague saying no, I didn't it's not over Lindane, its right of Ankara tips and the list goes on Atlanta. Ninety. Ninety, six, seventeen years later, the war in Iraq is over Sidney to two thousand Thirteen years on still no invasion of New Zealand robe. Nineteen sixty Silvio Berlusconi sentence the jail just fifty three years later and power launching twenty. Four years later, the buggy is legalised thought is that of the Olympics. The powers of the Olympics thus, thing on the everything's gonna be fine after this request from Stephen fry who I believe, is officially registered as a national treasure. Now I think we are technically one of the crown jewels. You, got a crown jewels to such an extent that India demanding him back

You can always trust the OIE C, and indeed any major sports body to put morality of a business or politics and a Jaguar other will always tell you that humanity is more. Mummy, while frantically waggling that leave underneath his desk and opens up a hole in the floor under NATO fates as a little bag The only story- homosexuality was d criminalized in Russia in ninety ninety three on Fourchan that was ninety. Ninety three ideas, not not Gina budgetary basics out a little more reason than is perhaps ideal in all, last year, Moscow's top court upheld the ban on gay pride marches in the russian capital for the next one hundred years. Mainly the mosque gay community has an entire century now to get together, floats and costumes ready for the next pride March in twenty one twelve, which is going to be absolutely amazing. And in June of this year, Russia ass. The law imposing heavy fines for providing information about

Homosexuality to people under eighteen, which is written Sol, broadly, that it is deeply fleeing to almost everyone that ray This law has been criticised by western politicians and human rights groups. And has raised concerns that visiting guy athletes, and even the title of the winter Olympics could face discrimination or maybe even end up in court. This Herbal law has been pushed by members give getting muscle pain it. A lawyer and leader of a campaign group called special battalion and recently said Andy, I do not know any homosexuals personally, but I've seen on tv and I saw them on the twenty. Their general square here inform F, and it's always but only to listen to someone talking about something I ve only seen on tv and in frozen russian squares, because you know daily with a high level of expertise of ales. I said, in my opinion, homer Actual, do not work

They spend their days in idleness and they live off strange income from our chose think he might be basing. Entire belief in this law and on the fact that he wants accidentally The boy pic of Andy Warhol on Lisbon is annoying needs, That's what progress, and I always guess I guess I guess other languages. Boy caught the winter rooms are just think. We should encourage all our wintry fleets, guy streets or miscellaneous to camp it up big time finally, bulbs ledge, that's world when up Liberace Phyllis Gauge, I'm the only language that protein Russia will understand that the cycle of foolish of enough of potent really they must go.

Now stop now giving arms suicide, millions of dollars worth and the rest of it. Now I went round talks my friend Peter who, as a parent pate, wasn't in Salzburg, whose power instead, so I will send Petersburg got to stop. Every Bela's attack from my house. It's got to stop and the parasite and they want to go talk to a sulphur, we're not sure good point. So did I went away to Washington and told the present president, who is being silly. Don't council summit set you absolute asking to sort out the Snowden Shamardal cuts that can really work at it. Picks up the Monday. This. This most chilling bell sound since breaking bodice, say rather the mediaeval human rights glitches.

All the stars are like I'm into early cause on cars cause. I know, he'll, listen to you and the President said he sure will listen. He's got amazing. Hearing incredible, it seems you understand. Things in different languages are telling us not. Natural is always argued for a computer on the side of his head. He does it. That's his siberia. Mr President, is you scared of an item of admitting that, where such intimidating clothes, what we were also, we are taught us something furry and brown was most pelt now said. The president now university very rude monkeys, a Yes, I think it was bearskins. Are the precedent of each other many unpleasant assistant, fresh, Shands University, very rude and uncouth. A vulgar grabbed. A crash now, I ask prisoners. Stop being so rude, but it was still so curse calls made him. Look tough break noxious. Just looks. Humphrey, tiny honey looks like a whole police force, small and skinny anyway,

Two Obama mystic bring other leaders into its put pressure on portuguese colleague, Angela Merkel involved in the daily said no you're taking this too far I've never for your blog, I dont want Merkel in the daily listeners, adversely get Merkel and on the deal you Katherine, because she's very influential sides contribute some the country's all in one way or another these at the top of it. Would you ve gotta be color in gradually pellet Kaliningrad? You pick up. Looking you can come from there ok, conceded Obama. You got a number yeah, I think so I wrote down somewhere. I got it in a notebook something then the president's wife came in she roaring tinted Goebbels in a bubble, had high Michel, you're, being skiing, Chelyabinsk color, not a monopoly Most of these up. Yes, she said I've just got back from skiing, with a security, agriculture, Tom Veal, suck the president's the price I didn't know Tom Skis. Yes, said Michel, it is big copy of the mermaids skiing. Yet she learned

it's his child from his parents. He loves it manage in these those mountain clothes, she said well too said the president, the first lady decided by a I said, barracks model have you two heads on it looks curly than usual? Yes, she said I had a poem Impressive for primo criminal, coiffure admiringly was doing a sandwich. Ruin oars. Forget me, it has had to Burma, future outdoor sports or what you thank you officially guilty around uniform of kit thanks, but no of relevant Novgorod anymore. You think you are, likely to other. Does that make me your bike all taken for a ride got it, because women in a like, never and salt water. Why not? We ve got into his head to patch urinating. It really yeas obsessed with it for the idea. The dogs and cats pay in the city. That was a long walk, walk. That's all lovely cap or seem so contents yeah Dundee per, and you have skinny

if too loudly was talking loudly votes, talking about it just this morning, never yes but hey eyes up I believe this is weird thing where one of its tentacles twitches, they can't help it involuntary is famous, for who blast. I'll check for more another. For some reason that last Bothered me more John and let me say in our watch any one to another: you will you wanna sailors who is gonna, get really goes out any weapon get him over law measures on Twitter, John, don't you land out depends on the dilution. Might No, I haven't stuff. I've had a law of complaints about this love comply. Suddenly been glad for foreign autonomy. That's true!

none of us. It might be that if ever of has weighed and by no means of meeting it Andy, it's either accidental or so germane to the story. Tat hard. It's not pon at no point, Forced upon you, don't ya, RO punks forced upon the steel American Giraldus, I'm that's the most have cried since semi final, italian, nine! Eight, the power is in your hands Chris. To take that bell and throw it out of a window. Consider it on so she how much that right, whatever it about Bell. I thought sitting on that, one like it like a smog. Chicken on a foul egg,

a car relax. Do you like guns and now he's got another one? I can tell it new ways. Everything he's got, another one is got another one. Just just. Do I do it because it was the as those friends that's worth? No, it will not work difficult lunch like some went to russian restaurant and the river Also Mustn t like it was a lesion enough Kara, already doesn't work. Does mostly nizhny Novgorod just ready, didn't I together should have fur or should have got the little Terry might by the White Boy assertion sounding sues doll. So little time was an historic she's out Moscow are you deliberately doing shit ones. So you can correct yourself with a good one that's all. I was just a little on the press. You sound so

happy and happiness is so misplaced can wait all source not has been of a crime. Ok, that's a new growing, their spending. Don t. Do don't have your words the it's over it's over, my silver unlighted did at is it down so was gone long, actually, just fear for your sake Now don't want, and when he had taken this worthy for three weeks off the haunting around her round the world, I've been clean for quite a while to refer. You know that be my love, but now put now whatever in whatever chip you managed to get to one day, you have fallen off that wagon hard work.

Up in the middle around about for the harrowing needle in your arm on a bell in your mouth, those like the new build a logo. Your emails around this one comes from sorrow in Buckinghamshire, and people have us to this very important, very important linguistic. Mark Dear John Andy increase in order of Before we set most pride from the following, I came across this stone, Jake Use website this evening see item fifteen of twenty and it is a list entitled greatest moments in the history of cursing and I've, just click on the link and its gallop, The requested web page might be dangerous, and that shows the power of the language.

It's fine, you considering how many pages on the internet and the cutting of not have that warning of the stock of them in Would you think you magazine John nominees, the period of course, you know it's not? That's! Not version will push back and even I've got no. I've got no leg to stand on their so anyway, fifteenth in the list. Two thousand and eleven, the bugle podcast. In ten history time we did something makes a major advance in swearing. Father the killing of Osama Bin Laden, those and devote a segment to his legacy. Oliver is quick to clarify that they are not delivering a eulogy from the Greek to four to speak well of the non, but I've culinary hurrying. Let's do speak of a dead. Shit back coming to a dictionary near you, so we it's something on the bus. It I mean if you factor for low great successes, sir,

since you went to the states John as well appearing on mock the way? k before you went under Think this is really right up there you can say hosting a daily show, a needle and each can do thou, not money people again to the list, the twenty greatest moments in the entire history of language? What swearing, which is basically the history of language, sadly sets out icon for chronological order, but nothing how the swells been right purity the parrot number one- or possibly second only to the punt, I do hope so inspired- carry on culture, contributing to the history of cursing yours and profanity. Sarah nicer rouser when that you're a airlines. Magnificent, came in with some of our higher geography did John John John thought or food might take umbrage well, this former from damp in Logan Ohio,

I am concerned about joke you made on the daily show. Yesterday you said something called even steamer, don't know I want to know their rights is a technique that would be performed on the Ohio River. Now you see he writes, there are two distinct bodies of water contiguous with a hose borders. I grew up in South Eastern a high where the beautiful pristine Ohio, the river meanders through the stunning tree covered for ills of the Appalachian Mountains and, on the other hand, a couple of MILES to the north of the city of Cleveland, sits on like airy a body of water, known for being so polluted that it caught on five February associated me. I river with Cleveland, is inside things are solid Ohio, buglers assigned The Belgians five at breakfast food is a crap, because somewhere in the vicinity of Paris.

While he's put that in some painful contacts there for an apology, but we'll settle for upon rum featuring American Citys pragmatically here also well away on behaviour was a just watch me back there. That's that's all eyes from a cultural point of young gonna have to balance out once after Russia had been brought to my attention that there was a geographic snuff. There are two. I do apologise. The people are higher, who are proud of rightly proud It's all there will want and they will not be ashamed of the other one cell. The hour. I will attempt to get it right. Next went on making fun of higher growth too it's just a matter of time must be honest, saw were well, that's something should probably leave. It certainly believe this week, Serbia John, I will have great few weeks.

Of, enjoy your your travels. Look further hearing about them on way any human one across many. Why a big plans, veal, asked me off for shows left before yeah relegated back to the ranks. What's You wanna guy I've gotta go plan, I mean look at the other. I can't I don't spoil it. The big. The ultimate booking is to have open the queen cage fighting with you dressed his fantasies. Goading s right in the middle. Deciding? Ok, I want a nice dirty fighting most powerful women in the world are not open. Gold intended Finally, I was listening very loose. We will have supplementary vehicles for the next three weeks if we can find enough ships had put it. I've, got your ideas are assessed, sounds like smiley

a few more of these rights. Relapse. Thankfulness new vehicles will be back in September and will be virtually back for the next three weeks anyway, the one goodbye