This is the bugle all the newspaper for a visual world news and welcome to issue four thousand and six of the world's last remaining outpost of truth. Yes, not firing. Twenty, sixteen close enough it's the bugle podcast! He showed that, according to recent scientific research, hadn't listed in the past would have been the first download of the weekend on the mp3 players of, amongst others, Shakespeare. Mercury, how Benjamin Franklin, Jane Austen, Marcus, Aurelius, the incredible hulk and both Mickey and Minnie, and in fact, reports coming up later on those two, incidentally, off the complaints that knees knew realism, drive at its theme parks as lead to record cussed

complaints about Mickey and Minnie refusing to interact with people scuffle into the nearest available in accessible space and shitting everywhere. This is Google, if you four thousand six for the week beginning Monday, the twenty eighth of November twenty sixteen we're recording on Friday, the twenty fifth, which mathematically of course, is almost twice as scary as Friday. The th the I am Andy Zaltzman STAR of the forthcoming Soho Theatre, show two thousand and sixteen these certifiable history from 20th of December roll up roll up. It's kind of a Chris pantomime only completely different with just me, and it sticking two thousand and sixteen with a microscope microscope. It might not properly and trying to workout what it died of an joining me today. It is a great day azure to introduce drum. Please thank you that the disappointing snack did you not have anything other than the timpani Bap, not even a snare, drum hoagie or a bongo bagel. Yes, I have

started this introduction with a drum roll, that's brexit for you, you can't stop joining me. This week's people. It is the panc first of podcasting can can I call you from the long running older even than the bugle answer me this and Radiotopia zone, the illusionist it is Helen Zaltzman did I put it up, announce name right, hello, hello, it's nice to finally meet you. Have you on the bugle into yet another, sorry sorry easily, one of the top podcast produced by someone currently living in this house. I don't know your kids- are coming up. Strong, recording live here in uh, specifically in my shed

Your current living with Us- and you are a fugitive from what's examine the lawful at yeah, pretty much online bill, pay them back off to ten days, crew re taking what was rightfully mine for those who who who do not know Helen Annoyed should not only this addition of. Hopefully many future actions of the bugle, and for the moment this house- but also an entire complete set of parents. We are siblings. For thirty six years now, we've sevald yeah. Is that how the word when you're, the all the etymology specialist Gerald, sleeping sibling, yeah we've been sibling sibling. Just a small and point you grow into a full c mom many middle age. So I think it should have happened by now. We ships now steps and then by the end of our lives, just bs. I we live with it that much yes, Remote parts greater, would not work very much together over.

Know what mother was trying to keep us apart for the sake of the family. She wanted to be to dynastic well But that's gone right out the window where basically the Trump's the Trump's of the podcast world, Heaven well, on the one of the pictures of twenty. Sixteen has been white men with ridiculous hair who spout bullshit. All the time do I'm very well in politics? So why haven't you made a power grab? Well, there's still quite a lot of the year left, you know still almost about ten percent of the year left shit. Why not finish the solo? This is your time so for the 28th of November Monday, the twenty like that on the 20th of November, in one thousand six hundred and sixty a group of twelve prominent British. So, artists, including architecture, Celebra, Christopher Wren, chemistry, Super Robert Boyle, an the philosophy and linguistics pinup boy, John Wilkins set the Royal society, the full title being the raw society of London for improve natural knowledge, a load of expo

such an elitist trying to tell everyone else how the universe works that looks pretty stupid now. Three hundred and fifty six years on bot out both ends is not your business. We will tell ourselves what we want to think is going on in science, as in everything else, and Ren learn to build a proper for RU who needs a dog which are not matter for the helipad on also on the 28th of November. This is the historic 124th anniversary of eighteen, ninety three but when New Zealand on this day in, he became the first country in which women voted in a national election. Also, the 97th anniversary of Lady Astor being elected as an MP in the UK. She became the first woman to sit in the House of Commons or not, but not the first elected, but the first of sits in the House of Commons and in nineteen. Ninety Margaret Thatcher became the first ever british woman or female to become a former prime minister. She Magda of ten Downing ST for the last time only six years, on the same day that you broke your collarbone, that's correct,

the home counties of never fully recover from either of those two traumatic blows, so water, historically appropriate day, Heaven for you to become the first woman to co host the bugle I mean I see this is another major land Morgan in advance of feminism, the first woman you are part of problem. This is four thousand six. Twenty two hundred ninety four b was with John out of a before. We had to retire the first wave, yet he is quick of party the reason he quit it's just on the east convince the apocalypse is coming and he wants to devote rest of his life to worshipping's use. So this is the sixth edition of the reboot gold error, which means this is the three hundred full edition congratulation of this show. I appeared on the 300th episode of advance me this. That's right. You did which was ages ago, because as aforementioned being

this game longer than needed- and you haven't had people swarming off to do other stuff, so three hundred episodes enough episodes that if the ancient Greeks have played them all simultaneously out of a special joint amplifier, they would have beaten the entire persian army with them, and also she played all the podcasts we've done between us back to back you'd be an idiot or dead, because I think you'd have to be awake now for more than two weeks solid old are, they must be up to close to a month? Isn't it that would put everything in? that would be fable. I know that you've tried during times of a lot of sports this, something that there are times when this almost four hours a day of cricket around the world who sings the center test. It's a hard life Do you have a duty? Was a section of the bill is going on in this week a black Friday section? It is black Friday today, one of the great commercials that I use in the commercial yeah which member

special offer you can stop listening to the show. Seventy five percent of the way through it absolutely free and we will look back at the origins of the Festival of Black Friday, which began of course way back in the year twenty three ad, when Joe different. Suddenly Middle EAST based carpentry and woodworking firm had a fifty percent off sale to get rid of all their surplus stock, whether of least bookcases. In Chester does come from Jesus said Joseph yet Joseph. Please call me that cut short the and a look of mock deal with it, and I saw all that timber outlook back and our miracle it into a load of home, furnishings right and where exactly am I supposed to put all those a hundred and fifty bloody bookcases? What am I going to do with them? I don't know, put them off I'm off to shoot some hoops with my buddy Judas, ok, lad. Let him win why just let him win of tags a bit of a grudge holder, just my up, of course, glad he's not going to win joes at Dad every time he gets the ball of Maine are Mirror hoop into a conifer tree, was wondering all those conifer tree

to what we're going to do with them at this time of year. I'll think about it anyway, that so that's where all came from the most vivid biblical depiction since MEL Gibson's passion of the Christ from the recent discovered gospel according to IKEA and gravel and well. In fact, we do have a genuine black Friday offer the old, Beagle merch that much people having realized the foo goldmine there sitting on having a black Friday sale and buy black Friday sale. I mean there are definitely turn off log off now worthless and outdated material featuring the old logo with Britain. Anyway do follow the merch link on the bugle podcast dot com. If you want to buy cut price obsolete stuff or one for the price of one tickets? To my Christmas and New Year's Soho Theatre on the so look website that section

in the Bin SO story this week, and we have a special revival section, the vehicle being. You know an example of a show that is reply from the death death death is the last Podcast isn't absolutely probably should've been left in the ground. No, no, no, not like that at all, and some amazing revival's this week, Tony Blair, who thought the that kid would come back. Yes back in the public eye him in the Gilmore girls back the same week. Having both ended in May two thousand and seven wow I'm going to just. Can you just fill in some of the gaps that there for me, the Gilmore girls, I'm not entirely familiar with the guy hotels was it was a popular tv comedy drama that run from two thousand to two thousand and seven about a single mother and her daughter

and the final season was quite controversial because she waged war in Iraq based on a set up to say about what is the best description. And this is this- is coming back after the it's come back on Netflix for ninety minute specials erasing that part of history right and also implementing a task force to try and put the brakes on Brexit, that's what the Gilmore girls is up to its subtext well, thanks for bringing that to my attention, you'll know to to be with new correspondent for the entirety of womankind thanks, but also for anything to do with the culture. From less than from by the I was born yeah there's one culture really kicked in employed. No work at home, so I've seen a lot of television Blair is, as I said back in the public libraries. Public has responded by saying,

I think there, something in my heart really stings think it's some kind of aggressive conjunctivitis, maybe filtering stabbed in the hell knows it's Tony Blair, it's just under got gal tomorrow and hope it will be fine. He's back here, He is back here to save centrist politics. Well, this. This this is his claim. That's the I mean the former european Warmongering champion, which, admittedly, is not a title that has the cachet that it once did. Is returning to life public life with a new organization, as you say, aimed at coaxing the world away from the crazy extremes of politics that it seems to, great recently, both the crazy left wing and the crazy right wing back to the ground that blow made his own the Crazy middle ground. He was very, very much the consensus of crazy. Are you pleased to see him back. It shows how bad things of goats that I kind of am

this. Could it be George George W Bush? Next? Maybe he could be a compromise. I'm almost nostalgic for g sleepy I mean he seems like such a benevolent idiot in comparison to what is about to happen. Platt has admitted it if he does he's not aiming at a return to frontline politics yet says, but he hasn't really made explicit what he is aiming for. So it's got two plans on your twitter feed. I think it's not! It's not he's running the we rate dogs, twitter, feed. And that is a very clever campaign right. Right dogs Have you not seen that? No I mean what we would you write a moment. Is you just on my looks, I don't know gentrification of of of doctors going to stop one of the you're! Not going to like Tony Blair's new campaign. He's got he's got two plans. It seems one of them is solidifying the center of politics again and the other

It is to team up with virgin to try and get a second referendum right. But that's led by Alan Milburn, the former health secretary. Right. Yes. Another revival I mean the Milburn Revival was always bound to happen, Minnesota Elvis isn't in the 70s and Bob elder simple. So maybe there doing another band aid single. It says they couldn't get the pop stars that got Alan Milburn and Nick Clegg. Instead control Melbourne sink. Who knows that musical center of confessing to Matthew threats sent didn't The the people who are in the late 80s band aid single who'll, stop taking, would say this take take that they would admit it now and so virgin has allegedly offered money and legal advice and some office space so doing they just cleaned out. They covered that hurdle. Call Tivo's in this,

actually one that I mean I can't see a second brexit referendum happening partly be cause. The situation we currently have is an unelected prime minister with an electric cabinet. First, democracy voting policies. But but despite that, no one or marginal one wants another general election. So I've done the nation. We could face a second referendum unless it was a snow referendum held. You know, for I was off the announcement like the indian currency story. We talked about last week when they announce the withdrawal of the bank notes at eight eight pm and they ceased to really tender at twelve. I mean why wait I think that is the only kind of democracy we were taking this country now, because it was the campaign in the people. I think that in fact they were talk to people, so if you could remove that remove, move any of the arguments and talking from democracy. So people have to vote on instinct.

Is what is happening now anyway, because who needs expertise in facts like that we post truth world and That's why you're doing so well, yeah. What or do you do? You mean- have a second referendum four hours after the first referendum. So, like a regret for random regret for is. That you've just made up of to it's, it's only just become useful right one. When you introduce this concept to just because you you do the illusionist Linguistics, yeah Tamala, Germany, knowledge, but he might know, was you can talk about your own show well, yeah, 'cause I'll run out at some point: 'cause. There are only a few one hundred thousand in English, yeah and yeah. So I've got a plan for the future but I used to enjoy portmanteaus until Brexit happened and Portmanteaus broke. The country was foreign word isn't coming over here

There was foreign words in English, Shutov you're not allowed to say that kind of thing these days, but It doesn't ring idea the idea that you should have an instance. Second, second child referendum yeah, it's it's like the the twenty day, cooling off period. When you buy something yes should second referendum happen after the result of the first referendum is known, or should you just have to vote at interval of info to eight hundred am and then say, four hundred pm. That's an eight hour cooling off period. Call pm me often in a bit of a post, launch sleepy slump? So how is that going to affect your politics? more right wing or left wing, the polling things of voting snoozy. I don't think they have done the data analysis on that, but they It's like shoot many of the code. Essentially a coffee shortage could completely change the way people vote is that what happened in America was that? What are the Republicans secretly? Stashing coffee supplies,

to make people slightly irritable on voting today, we need to be told: well, they had to queue up for hours, so if they weren't irritable full. They were going to be irritable after that acid, faster conspiracies, though queuing up there q, so long the caffeine would have worn off nine others. This result is not going to stand in for me. Let it did say that the heat is not wanting to return the front on politics, because the media he said would go into destroy mode. Not go into is an interesting way of putting it dial any they'll stock in its permanent there's about as much chance in twenty. Sixteen of the media Orwell bits of the media not being in destroy mode, as there is of a shock go going to vegetarian mode. It is not. It is not going to happen, lots of ridiculous things have happened this year. They said couldn't happen, so maybe sharks will just be about about for now. Call discount anything and major just made a comeback as well. I haven't heard I haven't heard

thing from him since about one thousand nine hundred and ninety two, even though, is in power for five years and yes well, I think that would be electric reflected that in nineteen ninety seven and then some he's trending on Twitter, now 'cause. He made up the phrase the tyranny of the majority to describe. It is a nice phrase, but he said the forty eight the people that voted against Brexit shouldn't be dictated by the t, save the majority and the sun the door to his room. So I think the face down actual impression of a newspaper. I was get the size of phone on the from to express their fury, but to them he's saying the terror any of the majority is never applied in a democracy, and it should not apply in this. Particular democracy does not make sense still. Does it just sound good, it doesn't matter great, that's the world. We live in the linguistics experts matters. It doesn't have to make sense, was delayed we doing for the last twenty years. Well, it books watching a lot of cricket. I think, are you pal? Have you ever met? You've never met John Major, no

I feel we have a spiritual connection unrelated to politics, huge huge cricket fan, and that's why yeah that's why? I think that's why I won the ninety two election. Those english cricket was going through a tough phase. We thought we can't be having a well prime minister 'cause, the I think this cricket team could suffer so we kept in the same fans of major and sure enough. The following following year, we we Pakistan, so it doesn't really stack up. Things are so clear in hindsight. Only another politician, who's being revived this weekend, eat Jill Stein out of the limelight since the U dot S election. Two weeks ago, now, roaring back into the public consciousness this time, because she is demanding a recount of the vote in three closely contested states. Would you say limelight she in the lawn on the fact that it was a good, slightly lowing me Greenish Conf, for the green, because I I thought she was a bit sickly, but it was just the light. I'm '

under she's, raised millions of dollars in a couple of days for this to happen for the for the recount yeah, I think, 'cause she's a bit of a conspiracy theorist which led to some well all green people are on a we look at it every things, fine. We just need to wait for a revival of the Arctic Sea ice and everything will be fine, but now her tendency to go for the conspiracy theory as has resulted in a vote recount, it is kind of exciting, it's not going to be enough of a vote recount to change the ultimate one nil to trump final score? Is it nope, but so that there was one county which I'm published a spreadsheet of its results in which there were more votes cost for the president. Then there were votes cost right, so you got a hint of the old them. So if you but it doesn't it that would get you a d in math a level for the election. It's probably worth checking that working, I don't think,

is kidding themselves that they're going to get to a different person in January. I think ought going now. Everyone just wants to see what's going to happen from the other point of view, if you know President Trump known one today, but now you have, we've got two weeks to get used to the island and how to use to come to terms of the fact that the plan is going to end. At some and anyway. So why not? Why not see it in our lifetimes not see it will be politically oblivious I mean the whole drift to the right in politics that we've seen this year. A lot of people would say drift at that speed. Andy I mean that suggests kind of continental pace, rather than the rapid slide of like when you're tipping a dust pan and cross into a big. So not people said this. Is you worrying, worrying sign for humanity that Europe drifting drifting to the right I'm all of a sudden, a more positive view of this? I think it is just nineteen thirties nostalgia, I'm so

totally and load a bit wearing tweed caps, these days, every kind of training in the hip to commute a lot of films again where people are saying now: listen to me, slim art, deco, all over the place fur coats- I don't have a woman probably some of them. Looking around massive unemployment people painting sing watch is sort of the 1930s all over. For me, people saying good now, instead of like and sitting around the wireless waiting for death and long thin fish with no clothes on lot of those deals, all the right we had to have at least one in this show. Congratulations! I just didn't see that one coming. Actually, the second one wasn't it. It does worry me afr. Each right wing seems increasingly prominence even Germany. Now I'm going to two across Europe. Now Europe, Europe, Europe, Europe, yup are you? Are you listening? Europe? Have you got a pencil

pizza paper, write this down and do not forget it. Europe read a history book breeds We don't have a complicated one, just a basic kids. Sorry, but will do with little cartoon pictures if you need them that should give you some tips about What might go wrong if you do shunt to far rights as a continent hit rock left yet yet. Well, exactly that's a very interesting interpretation of german military strategy in the Second World war. Who are just a few hints. Maybe you it's been watching lol, oh and thinks that looks jolly? Give that another right now for our non british listeners. I don't know how big the global distribution of allo Allo was. It did seem quintessentially british shit com sets in the french distance. Was there with people with funny the accent and, ladies with commuting

amusingly size? Decolletage is yeah, and you could see why why you want want to go back to that time. Yes, simpler times simpler, simpler times The no one thought anything of it wasn't considered shot across the bows of feminism. Thing that surprised me Andy about America, taking back itself, 'cause people are saying, take back our country now, one of the great strengths of America to me has always been its multiculturalism. Didn't expect there to be there, amount of german language in its some rather warring. Videos of the political gatherings have shown thus far I've. So some people criticize the spelling of Sieg Heil is being incorrect right, one hundred swastikas being improperly dropped, so standards so I'll show you right.

So they're saying that people using it now is spelling it wrong. Yeah Hitler used the wrong they along that that that not spending it currently yeah. So you you, don't That just seems to be that should be low down the list of complaints for me, meaning, yes, I mean you, using you get a tool, I guess would be that be up there, 'cause, that is phrase, that is, as I'm sure, etymology expert like you would would would agree tainted by history. At the very least, Oahu remembers Andy. It was ages ago, Tony Black and come back who's going to remember the 40s. In other Comebacks brutal crackdowns on opposition politicians seem to be increasingly popular again, particularly key matchup press crackdowns. I was reading an article said. Turkey is now outstripped China in terms of most journalists in jail. Now I don't have his total journalists or journalists per capital of

relational journalists per one hundred thousand hacks how many acts are in in the clink. This is according to figures compiled by the committee to protect journalists, journalists, recipe. I want the turkeys president who should be an irritable man at the moment, more three thousand Turks of face charges of insulting the president, which I can imagine that I can see how bout mountain can happen because the guy is an absolute and it must be hollowed out if you live in his nation. Your doubles trouble not to think he's and given how much what he is to the in column. So I can see how people might just accidentally insulting just by must be to talk about other one without expressing form of insult. I imagine. Even he himself was probably punched himself in the face quite often and told himself weather stick himself well he's going to be in jail. Then soon yeah self loathing Writ large

was an american journalist. I'd be a bit worried. Now it's going to rain will come onto trump later in the new trumpets. Subsection of the of the viewers are very. Happy to be here, for the inaugural trumpets in Turkey, a journalist, courage, readers to protest against the one by lighting a cigarette and not putting it out, and he was both apparently heard. One does not like smoking. This was some and this gem. It was arrested for terrorism, which seems an excessive response one of one hundred and twenty journals have been jailed since a failed coup. Uh July. Others are in jail for advocating resumption of the peace process with the Kurds some. So we put in the stocks for not referring to order one as a classically handsome dreamboat in articles about him. Others have been sentenced to twelve years in a government interment camp with nothing to do apart.

Recordings of nineteen crown green bowls championships, commentator unbiased by screaming traffic policemen and that crime was simply to fail to describe other ones, crackdown on opposition parties, free speech in or to use as really cool, surprisingly cute, even on a bubble, a surefire recipe to make Turkey the greatest nation in the world I mean I've already made some of that up, but it's truer than it ought to be. That's how the press works. Now. Now for the first time on bugle hello and welcome to issue one of the trumpets, the exclusive Donald Trump chronicling, section of the bugle. Oh god, I can't believe it's true anyway. Some amazing things been happening, as I always do as every day goes past.

Fantastic, keep giving he's taken to issuing Youtube videos rather than getting himself in situations when people can respond, and he gave you Thanksgiving Message- yeah. Is he making money off of the apps or not? Well, that's what the line Franklin Delano Roosevelt's fireside address is all about. She was at some massive great tell me what commercial deal with the logs company love Jimmy Carters Youtube Makeup, tutorials text into contouring Trump said. It is My prayer- and I don't know if he has a hotline to the almighty. I would imagine, given the way his might be little cross with him. Is it is my brother on this thanksgiving. We begin to heal our divisions and move forward. As one country we have just finished a long and bruising political camp,

and he went on to say, emotions are raw intentions, don't just heal overnight. Now it's. There's a there's an element of Chrissy and the attorney I'm out of line in saying is given that, throughout the campaign he despoiled himself with the refinements equanimity and statesman, like a of a frustrated bull trying to have sex with a callous seki, three fifth in a motorcycle showroom he's behaved with the com, even handedness and social grace of an Inven. Fruit, farm animal hater on a sponsored, speed, slaying they had an unlicensed abattoir and yet now he's suddenly coming across all conciliatory. I don't walk This had an offset this before on the show. I want him to stay the that got him elected. Oh, he is don't know. Lots of love for tender is not well, he is and Ibaka he got very angry at the cast of the Broadway Musical Hamilton for doing a measured speech to your audience. Member of MIKE Pence does not denounce all the people committing it. Racial hate crimes in his name.

So that's that's kind of you just want more showboat. Yes right. This speech sounds like kind of Queen speech style speech, which would be fitting in that he's getting his children. Government and thus making the president see more like a monarchy, I'm sitting on golf great golden thrones. It is. It I've always known America regretted we're getting rid of the monarchy, and this is proof they've elected a monarch. There is a bit of a disaster for the Trump family. This week, though, Trump's daughter, Ivanka treated it's cut. In half a recipes suggested amount of sugar when baking banana bread for your son's bake sale. I did, and the result is now pretty Maybe everything else that's happened now this? Maybe we should rewrite it. Don't normalize your father's misogyny racism and social pathic disregard for the well being of humanity, so you can secure a government jobs which is no way qualified. I did and the result is not, if you're, not a white straight cisgendered billionaire there.

So I'm a mountain in the Brunswick Georgia who founds election day so stressful. He went to bed that night having not found out who won am, and he then you wake up in the morning. Thinking, I feel so relaxed I'm going to carry on not finding out who won the election and so for two weeks after that, if he had to go out, he put on headphones and a sign on his chest, saying I don't know who won and I don't want to know. Please don't tell me, and so he managed to stay in that blissful bubble of ignorance for forty

It's but he's a he's. An inspiration for the world truly ministers could to stay in there for four years before nine four years won't be enough. I think really. We need, in heart of humanity, to stand a bubble about full ever okay, because I mean that's what annoys. People is knowing things that have happened, a good point, what your total media blackout is in July in the in the in the bubble. If I wasn't on twitter not exposed to a lot of think pieces about political events, one hundred and forty character think pieces. Maybe I would think everything was fine and it effectively would be because I wouldn't know, but anyway, a local radio station got him in to reveal who won through the medium of opening up a box and either red or blue blue things would rise out of it, and so that's a bit like when people have those parties to reveal the gender of their in utero child by cutting through the cake, and it has pink or blue icing inside, or they do the same. Of course when they get a new pope in don't like that, it's it white smoke. Yeah watch motivates a male pope

They must Trevor buying that pink smoke machine. I've got a waste of money trump in his video said it is. Time to restore the bonds of trust between citizens, what bond of trust with those big Donald so those the bonds of trust you have. Absolutely shat on all year, yeah. Those once told good yeah so can only restore them Monday. I some and he's not supposed to woman to his cabinet. Now Betsy Devos divorce. She will be the education set. Three and does that where she is a billionaire, a right right and the husband is the head to the Amway for June, so used to calling. People. So it's nice that he's draining that swamp

we're getting some people in to represent the non wealthy of the USA story. Time now and has trailed last week the short list, the bad checks awards was announced and the winner will be revealed in the coming week. The projects was awful rubbish scenes of into going on July Throat morning on other forms of sex, sick and to Frank elections in contempt, reflection and number of big names on the short list, including full ability to present a John Ellis Tom Connolly as Well Gail, Foreman, every Deluca, and also this from the prominence american novelist, John Grisham, from his long awaited sequel, I'm from a a time of believing much of covered in previous bugles. The sequel is in talks

the reattachment nine. This excerpts from the rate has been shortlisted for about six awards, rent for the league's closely by the Hollywood, but reading stuff done they'll compel Mickey stand. Tinio looked at in a trap. It looks like it never Looked it up before, like a survey of a building, a being sent a shiver. A new trout looked at Stan Tinio, as if he were a perfectly roasted turkey at a thanksgiving. They look good, but he felt wrong both of them. One of my Well, I'm a woman where is naked as the day they were born and that they were wrapped in towels and covered in blood. That was a crime scene. Mrs Trout said Mickey Shorr was Mister Antonio. She replied Antonio his arms.

Stretching out from his shoulders like the branches of a well mannered tree, offered her a pencil from a cigarette box. I gave up last year, explicated I sketch still lifes instead now want to join me sure thing. Detective sultry, treating it running the pencil lead seduction across her forehead in the shape of an in century ship leaving an indentation a to Mickey, simply screamed sex. Sat down on the single double bed available in room, two thousand eight hundred and nineteen of the hotel, Blowfly and sketch the apple that have been left like a complimentary piece of fruit in their room. I'm no good at drawing the Mona D need the thirty three year old from a twenty eight year old junior detective inspector, who had the flood vicar cases with Mickey all those five years Go yeah your real shit, a drawing in it said Mickey I've seen kids potato print with more emotional depth and that formless garbage that looks like in tennis ball, not an apple. He said with the kind of honesty he always thought he would have applied. Had he been in our critic, a doctor or a woman, Enid screwed her picture up into a ball. Let's have she began

six Mickey guest? No, I was going to say: let's have some sex Mickey guest again frustrated by having got it wrong the first time but convinced he was probably on the right lines. Let's have the newspaper said in it check the snooker scores. Oh, I was nowhere near laugh Mickey trying to make light of the fact that in its gambling problem- and evidently resurfaced suddenly make Minded in it of the man should so resolutely not fallen for when they work together on the chokey, the home strolled case, was nowhere near those exact words. She thought the exact tone of voice that he had used when Julianna Home strolled had walked free from the courtroom. When you once had emerged. The chokey, far from being stabbed to death, with a pitchfork by his jealous wife, had in fact been hit by a golf ball when dickin around at a driving range. Just like the groundsman had said at the time you can't win. Em all Mickey had said with a laugh, as they left the courthouse with the active and as of an angry job judge build interest in a ring in in there is. Can I kiss you he Chris, but to a no in and remembered saying quietly? There are loads of press photographers taking pictures of us here in the call

I'll step she said, and my husband is standing right here. I'm standing right here, Eric Trout had said before, trying to punch Mickey in the face two seconds later, Mickey head Erik Prince to the floor, with two fingers held against his temple one move and I'll pretend to shoot. It said regretting having left is far from the local school, the previous data careers of, and so the kids could have a play with it. But that was then, and this wasn't, then it was now- and this was a different in it in a different back east. I know this was now the world famous detective who'd been all over the television like mustard on a Chicago hot dog when he solved the case of the congressman's missing, penis and Eric had long since left the party he was living in equity, with a shouting instructor named Grenada after Google MAPS and in the wrong way on a trip to the local swimming pool, and he ended up in south with no more gas in the tank of normal stomach for the road and now in it needed a man. But not just any man, an adult man with a functioning William scrotum, and it just so happened that Mickey took both of those boxes. It didn't take long Mickey felt the primeval Pongal

LOS rise within him. Is he from lean it next to the hotel's complementary waste bin, which cost nine dollars according to the on remove label? Enid wanted, if Eve herself, whatever felt such an elemental, urging when she read that Adam had only her to choose or a watermelon, she felt her impressively impressive glory screen Kalinda Mickey's in center. That grope feels like one off. She said accidentally out loud. Yes, it Mickey so right on his mobile phone. I'm seeing someone else now. They disentangle that respective limbs, re clothes and ran to the station or a new case had landed on the desk Stan Taneal Google Detective Chief expected louch someone. Replaced Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial with a similarly sized statue of the singer, Garth Brooks said. They must really love country, music, or really hate Lincoln, said Grouch either way we need you to get to the bottom of it is that

dinnerware and we're just inspiration dropped into your mouth. My mouth would you, but that that was that was Daniel. Sorry yeah, I don't worry from in America, stole over the place. Not so much your emails now and the hello buglers active people, put cost of call me Miller is now working. This email came in from pizza in Chicago on the subject. Is it working yet and the if you're reading this then the new email address, presumably is working? Yes Peter. It is thanks for that email, so you can always send your emails, not too hello, buglers at the bugle podcast dot com. What is an email from Andrew? He says hello, the bugle thing is twenty, sixteen which sixteen, which was the UN designated international year of the howling morals,

one in the world, celebrated it by collective, restoring democracy into the dumpster of destiny and setting it on fire. I wish to engage in some corrective percussion by striking each and every world leader in the head in alphabetical order. How and and the on me, this interesting cross fertilization of pulled. What is the best implements for hitting leaders of nations with, should I use a cricket? Bat in celebrate and empire, or hockey stick because of the curve knob on the end, or perhaps a frying pan for comedic effect thanking you in advance feature prison cell as the greatest howling moron of the mole, Andrea, well I hope you stick cross with regard to global warming and I was kind of a did go into the stinking any something going on. Well. That would be a very effective way to make a point that wildly does need to pay attention.

Climate change. I am filled okay. Your ice hockey stick well. I think we have to wait for the latest environmental figures to come out. I mean if, if it's, I think, it's always hockey stick which, which isn't covers a field hockey stick that would show Groff going backwards in time, wouldn't if it bends around. If, if time is the x axis yeah under the hockey stick, is you know that the you know carbon emissions, whatever rule is? Is the. Y Axis in a field hockey stick with his band and is sending the omit. Maybe that's maybe that's what we need to I'm full. The film took a grove just bends, the girl back, so it's Angela Mission backwards in time to a new ice age. Yeah yeah little bit of what about a new couple in a sock as a world leader coach This email came in from guy who writes dear Andy. Chris Helen, I presume money, because they here instead of course so you pursue.

Camera zoom room, as has been documents in recent bills. Well doesn't have too many political cluster in two thousand and sixteen, including Brexit the S selection and in problems a lot recommend. Another country feel crazy right. All South Africa use use where are father, comes from and bugles costs. You discussed how President Jacob Zuma being a the center of a scandal and will It is quite a long email with a lot of detail and it might be interesting story to go into an in depth at a future stage will get all that on to talk about it. That would make for interesting listening The details are too numerous to explain in under three thousand words says: guide generously, some network of corrupt dealings in the south african governments and second excellent plot film Zuma himself was recently the subject, a vote of no confidence in parliaments, bucks his Majority Party NZ voted unanimously against the motion he's going

foreign who an american pilots in no confidence votes, since he was first elected, some, not so good to me. Only the people have huge comfort. It is one thing to avoid: no confidence votes, but surely it's a greater achievements to keep on having them and still win it's a talent. I don't comprehend because is that sports parlance that someone used it is yes, they mean sing to me, you're such a disappointing weather to be confident in the summer or not translated language. I understand thank you going take We will return to the Zuma story at a at a future point made when you on the show again, okay such an african roots. Thank you for much to keep coming into hello. Buglers at the pupil cost dot com do not use the old info address that is dead. To me.

That brings us to the end of this Bugle Helen is being out of absolute delight. To have you on the show? Thank you so much. It's been not sleep. A lot to live in your house for the past three and a half months has an abbey in people. They went horribly wrong. I will give you a review of three stars or above those little bump up my career average to listen to the illusionist on of the wonderful radio topia network on to me this as well anything else you want to plug about it, good yeah. Along to the oh yeah, let's have Helen's word of the week. We will have this every time you're on. I think it's a word for the next four or more years it is kakistocracy right rule of the app Lou. Us does all seem like it. An advance for humanity I have. I heard this words until Trump appointed steep on to his cabinet. Your try to invent the word can

tankara see the other week. Oh yeah, for the rule of the angry, which I think that's going to get the two and some ways quite closely linked yeah. So let's try and get those words out there. Cantankerous e cat kachra see it's assess one word to say that Kakistocracy Chrissy any of those lessons with. Thank you very much for listening, because, don't forget to put your tickets to my Christmas run at some hope in the twentieth of December. I'm also doing a U K toll from family next year, I'm going to Melbourne Festival, late March and April. So look out for that. That's so not on sale that but I'll start hyping yourself on now sure it's what I always forget. So usually I start plugging that have already happened, so I'm trying to get them ruthless, Salzman marketing me

being out there, don't forget the black Friday sale of all our old merch as well. That will come to be very valuable, like stamps with floors. Will it sure you should crank up the price? Well, at my book you can get that on Amazon, for them, like nine thousand dollars to to the rogue algorithms worth every penny. It's become an object of rarity. I'm thank you very much for listening and will I will be back next week with White Sinak, then, on the ninth of December, this coup mall and on the sixteenth on about power and then Helen. I do. Christmas special the week after that, so thanks for listening to until next time, goodbye. The bugle

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