Robert Mugabe, Silvio Berlusconi, Leonardo Da Vinci and Jesus of Nazareth – some classic old skool Bugle stars are back in the news and back on the show! They're joined by Louis CK who completes the lineup for what would be the world's douchiest buddy movie.
Recorded live at the Leicester Square theatre with Andy, Nish, Alice and Chris telling it like it is, like it isn't and like it maybe never was.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Welcome welcome to the bugle lives. Welcome to the lesser square theater here in the beating heart of London's glamorous Lund
in the area of this
The people live Thursday, the 16th of November, two thousand and seventeen later on in today's show,
Funny what happens when you try to juggle chainsaws blindfolded turns out, makes
big difference, whether or not you haven't switched on Anne will also be examining. The rights and wrongs of attempting to resuscitate pharaohs from their sarcophagus is just to see the looks on their little bitty faces, and we will also be asking why in general and once again, we will
we're bringing you exclusive coverage of everything. That's happened on planet earth,
leave it well alone makeup.
Make things up and how to avoid javelins and the key is don't invade Greece in about four hundred and eighty BC.
So this is doubling up his bugle four thousand and fifty a and we're recording Thursday, the 16th of November two thousand and seventeen very special day for everyone here today and listening at home because the 16th of November, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you is slight
More likely to fall on a Monday, Wednesday or Friday, there are fifty
have them in every four hundred years
then uh on a Saturday or Sunday, seven thousand and fifty seven,
what's the rarest of the used to have a sixty,
November on Tuesday and Thursday,
Fifty six every four hundred years,
And yet here we are on this rare risks.
First of all, sixteenths of Novembers today, as of course
all God, fearing subjects of the universe. Now is the feast day of. Ladies and gentlemen, Correct Edition have Lincoln slightly surprised. You knew that
who died on this day in the year.
I knew this wasn't going to work well who
died on this day in the year,
one thousand two hundred and twenty year, you're very, very good, and, of course, he
patron saint of not now
Now we want to the point of beatboxing. Try again he was the patron saint of sex dungeons. Not, I don't think it's on his official
list, one more go. The patron saint of.
swoons correct. Yes, it was,
Looking for insight of swans, let's have a look at him Chris, he is there. We see Hugh that his son, Hugh Weather,
cheeky little swan down there from
He was watching only with their ears at home. This is he's got this one here
regulation of saintly fridge, frisbee stuck to his head there, a Saint golden.
Praise be the all saints have. So you can tell US saints or a child with an aggressive sibling, an
and he's holding as you can see here.
and here is holding what can only be described as a cup full of Jesus and his.
a golden goblet with the infant Christ in
What I want to know is is Saint Hugh
sing. Jesus is king cocktail stick, and, if so, is that, on his cocktail into, I guess, merch is merch, answer to mark this historic day that, if surfaced,
Dave said he live link and we have a special swans quiz
to tell me later, which of the following facts about swans, is the least faults is it fact one bagpipes were invented
when a scottish monk in the year, seven hundred and eighty three ad was caught. Lustfully French, kissing a swan and then hastily pretend that he was doing music practice by squeezing this one until it cried.
Is it a fax to the queen is constitution allowed to use a pair of swans is magic. Shoes to walk across the lake is a fax three, the average length of a swarms Mackey's three centimeters, what we think of a as the next or in fact periscopes, with a fight head on
It was in fact, for Saint Hugh of Lincoln employed in aggressively violent, God's way,
but this one would honk at anyone who came near hue of Lincoln using phrases
such Chris Google translation,
So this that means clear off you obvious shitheads Ann.
US one price: three:
Are you nonce one schmuck hands off my Huey Oral B Q in the balls Kapish
if you so much as look at him. You shorten that bastard. I will personally feather hook you into the middle of next week.
This is Hugh of King Lincoln, we're talking about
as always, ladies and gentlemen, section of
this audio LIVE newspaper is going straight. I can't hear you it's going straight in the what correct in the Bin this this week April.
from each section going straight, not top story. Chris is in the king been mate.
Yeah I'm having one or two technical errors over here. You just carry on and assume it's all fine.
yeah good point. Tell it like it is
uh this week section in the been a special pyramids feature section now
any hockey on what you found him out of saying that I discovered a big void in the great pyramid of Giza and you lost the resting place of Pharaoh Khufu
yeah. It's about time. Someone put that I'm sorry. They already did that four and a half thousand years ago, I'm and what they do hum quite literally put in his place.
They discovered that I knew. I knew a cavity in the great pyramids. The door discovered one previously was forty, seven meters long and eight meters high, and that's only one explanation for that cricket neck with a bowling machine. So it's an easy mistake to make an album to historian to,
Objects, you'll values on the times gone by their attention to the so we'll get this new void, be full archaeologists, say from the Cemex Rock took from the city, but that seems unlikely to me all reckon mine, because Eve of full live tv screens for the dead, Farrow Beverage Pool Table jukebox pinball machine so much to just chill out for those long stretches when just long enough lying dead in a pyramid gets a little bit dull and in the we've got a pyramid. Factbox Khufu's pyramid, also known as such shields meets the great pyramid of Giza, also known as the hundred and forty mi to high pointy picked up coughing up some facts about lack of in forty five one. If the great pyramid of Giza have been built upside down, it would have fallen over by now. Okay food pyramid held the world record for world's tallest human might structure for a cool forty thousand eight hundred years. Sadly, though, it's now well down the list, and it's not looking good on the for getting back on the podium is gonna- have to grow by seven hundred meters to overtake the Bush. Kelly.
and the most department has ever grown in the last thousand years. He's I'm afraid six hundred meters miles very briefly are we are also in the business. I think it's well philosophy died tonight. Who's in who's done some philosophy tonight, yeah. What what bit of philosophy Chris can be fun. I will benefit if it was the of
or is it? Where is the well see all right? The fact that we've learned as badly as me? So what what for most of you don't know my the distinction between the self and the society as a whole, the distinct between the self and society as a whole,
right and what? What? What? What
This is what's your conclusion. That yourself is just you and society holders. Lots of other people too. Is that the particular the question of what is the difference between happiness and contentment,
don't know what is the difference between happiness and contentment classic set.
Reconsider. The happiness may be more childish and less sophisticated. Valuers contentment is.
I'm happy with that. Okay, right come to me all guests for today's Bugle Chris already on stage and a producer who all the old song Universe record for most episodes of the people produced Amando totals no
for living Cooper as well, but it's now to meet chili sorry.
And today is international day for tolerance as well as philosophy, but to Marquinton
there's no tolerance day. I'm delighted to announce that tonight's guests, on tolerating a woman and a man of asian descent, you
I will get more tolerant than that joy. Please
welcome all the way from the hemisphere. That's produced. That's famous land matters as Antarctica back up to Britain to bring her unique brand of Australia. Put his catholic jewish Whit too.
Waste into the northern half of the planet, is Alice fries. Having said anything mean about the flamingos, because the bugle audience keeps sending me pictures of flamingo. I'm wishing I'd said something like all. I hate cute babies totals and tea, and then I get a letter of the things I like about. You know it. Hatred is its own reward.
I'm now to join us the man who stirs the hot peppers of political humor into the
Macomb County of current affairs, the
the human jalapeno himself.
this. Can you just explain for the for the boys and girls are home exactly what is on the screen right now
Well, look at start, let's start right here, so I mean.
First of all, hello, Andy, Allison, Christen, hello, buglers. Now, let's jump right in here a couple
so there is a Wikipedia sort of prank involving the
Google audience of myself where I sort of mentioned that I had some. I have some younger cousins who did some serious damage to my Wikipedia page. Unfortunately,
I forgot was that is a red rag to about two hundred and fifty thousand bulls
stationed all over the world who
place my Wikipedia page well beyond recognition
and one of the defacements involved. The idea that I had presented a talk show
old Nude with me, where
we completely naked, interviewed Nigel Farage, Lily Allen and Steve Coogan and uh rated their anecdotes, based on the response of my
what's happened here, for the benefit of the listeners. Is that I don't. I don't use the phrase
inundated lightly, but I have been absolutely inundated with images of myself naked.
and one is currently on the screen at the moment. Now, let's look up look up the most
important thing to know here is that uh this is adopted photo
we just say this: it is adopted photo, but it is alarmingly accurate
I don't even know how that is possible. I don't wish to give away too much by mistake, but very few people have seen my naked body. So
I don't know quite how they've managed that yeah. It's very I mean it's very. Concerning Nigel,
it's not on the type looking at me really as he would do it.
faced with an Asian by the fun in it. Also. Let me just say this high level of heckling started back some study at the side of the stage
most comedy gigs, the heckles, all things like cough Yorsh, it not the distinct.
Between the self and society.
Is a very unusual heckle,
how's uh how's, the Wikipedia Defacement official page, still locked, my page still locked.
Wikipedia administrators can get into that and, as I've said that I realized, I should not have said that, because the uh
being a Wikipedia administrator, let's face it,
there are a group of people that heckle with the phrase that distinction between self and soc. These are not the jocks of modern life.
One of these, and I do use the word advisedly. King- is going absolutely get out to my place, but the dip, because my pages look big, now spread it onto your plate. Really not so I've been contacted to appoint a gentle and cold David took a park on Twitter as a lead me to the fact that they don't did you all played, so that is it I'm the soul. Food once played Queen Elizabeth. The second
the royal variety performance.
with this coma providing vocals on a rendition of my neck, my back
kumar also played them Arriba during the show. I'm
I mean I don't remember doing that Andy, but it's possible. It was one other night to be fair. It's it's another!
Lastly, counting for the chocolate boy, his due friend, as I believe and uh,
black has been referred to. I was uh
What can we still yeah
it was. It was the working title of the jungle book. Not a lot of people know this
blue is actually jewish. His full name is Ballou Rabinowitz. A lot of people. Don't know that
If you play the bare necessities backwards, it's actually the Torah. I think I think that's work the what
for our top story. Chris
Sorry this week and well big problem. Agabi, the pin up boy of post imperial
economic mismanagement and fifty three time
can a snappy dresser of the year. Based on that photo
it's currently enjoying a non voluntary staycation
spending, some quality time with himself under house arrest.
What always house
official, I don't use any official presidential residence, but that is of course just around the corner from Harare Sports Club cricket ground, where of course, Zimbabwe played one hundred and seventy seven international matches
including thirty four tests so um. What makes one exciting week for fans of ninety three year old dictators being
yeah. It's absolutely huge wait for old, Bobby marks. After thirty four years of despotic ruler, Pauling Hyperinflation and one of the world's truly weird
NASH's Robert Mugabe is completely free and he is yet he's under house arrest, although it when they say you keep reading reports to say he's confined to his house by the military. In your like he's. Ninety three years old you've done
need the military to do that. You just need a particularly steep set of stairs it made it. There been some dispute over whether or not it is technically a coup or not. The African Union President says it seems like a coup, the military or denying that it's a coup, and they did so
broadcast from the state television station. I had taken over happy.
Bobby Bare. Faced curry balls of that,
I guess, as the old saying goes, if it looks like a duck walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably an alloy of Robert Mugabe in a duck outfit disguise
trying to sneak his way to safety, pasta, load of soldiers and looking tank. So it's not a military takeover of government says the military having taken over yeah. It doesn't look great. The root of the conflict in this occasion is that a couple of last week, Mugabe sacked Emerson Maganga, his former deputy who it was assumed, would take power, and it was widely assumed that this was a way of clearing a path for his fifty two year old wife grace to assume power. Who is quite a divisive figure? A lot of people feel that her lavish spending at a time when many Zimbabweans, Experi
horrendous economic conditions was at best distasteful and there are others who are fine with it, presumably because she is paying them to say there, fine with it as part of her incredibly lavish lifestyle and they met in the 1990s. This is an alarming detail that I did not know they met in the 1990s. While Mugabe was married to his wife Sally as she suffered from terminal.
cancer and just when you think it can't get any worse. It gets worse, which in many ways is the apathetic
Outlook are based time in charge of Zimbabwe, also terminal cancer.
Saying this is a direct quote from the goal of a right old. All his courtship of Christ will see was married to his wife, Sally who were, but let's read what was done like it was necessary for me to look for someone and even a Saudi was still going through a loss few days, although it much of a pain to some, is cruel. I decided to make love to Christ
now, just when you think again, alright immediately, we know Magobei is a fully class act right, but this is what he says of grace. She happened to be one of the nearest
and she was a divorce she herself, and so it was oh boy that is like listening to a Barry White records. Now
it's so romantic. You just want to at the first answer. My wedding, I don't want love is all around or every breath you take. I want to hear a recording of this on a loop for three minutes, so we'll see the first man
to swipe right in the sense that he swiped
I will do what now? What is it? What MECO beginning now he's told to get a new career when you lose your job, can you can re training? Ninety well? This does have some transferable skills. The general traffic ruler, he looks good is on why he has no moral scruples, he's unconcerned of the impact of election on those lower down the social and economic food chain and he's on some terrible things in the past. So
yes heading up a silicon valley or the next president of America is not fair. I mean he still officially head of state. I think as we as we speak, if he ceases to be there, but ninety three is currently the oldest serving professional head of state and if he is full
officially depose. That title would instead fall to the writing.
Fifty six time United Kingdom Non figurehead of the year, I'm still undisputed world constitutional neutrality, federation crown wearing champion from London, England and
Windsor England and Sandringham England, and
Balmoral, Scotland, anywhere there's a swan or a post box. I think uh, it's Queen Elizabeth, the indefatigable incredible. Those are the two I stand for after her name. By way, fair work that will have a little set will have a little sound.
Mario, is back the
please leading recording artists Silvio. So we are both guilty. He there is demonstrating a group full the I was one of the he looks like someone fitted the reanimated corpse of
tuten common with a set of unconvincing elephant, ivory dentures, just more just so stretched so tight family. She was he like the horrendous sti that the italian population just can't seem to get rid of,
who is the king of sweaty ball? Sacks the Milanese maverick
one of MILAN italian Rapscallion, the Duke of Dick, the Guido Del Libido.
he's like one of those egg dolls, it's heavy at the bottom, and when you push it, it just comes back not just 'cause, he's really spherical, but because he's really bottom heavy with an uncanny load of bullshit.
he's recovered from criminal and civil convictions, as well as open heart surgery, which is both the only time his heart's been open and
was the only remaining part of his body that hadn't been cosmetically enhanced. There is a man: who's had cosmetic scrotal,
If I see one which I haven't he's he's just too easy destructible, he had a full year sentence for fraud. It was commuted to one year of unpaid community service, which I assume he said,
but in judging underage beauty, pageants at local shopping malls as an unpaid breast inspector,
and they didn't send him to jail, is 'cause he's over seventy, which is a generously low estimate of the age of someone who's. Clearly the embodiment of an ancient archetypal arsehole,
it's the come back. Nobody wanted to clean off their bed sheets.
Finally, show is a bit like all of the sexual a bit of news, almost a challenge to,
he read about once they did. It was like not on my watch son just get in the team back together for a little one loss. Let's see, let me know if he's willing and able his control the cities have their own Wikipedia place. Well, he's not much of a but he's missed. Behavior is its own online and to take he's, I think Bill's going to use to trump what Mussolini was to Hitler, just like a fiend film of skin and hair or the like potted particle board, manikins made of crystallized human sweat and regret dreams.
but I couldn't I couldn't. I couldn't put it better myself. One of his former ministers had said that he sort of it is time away from the limelight. He's mellowed
But then he it came out and gave a speech, and this is a direct quote from one of the ripple is at the ST addressing the topic of immigration that you want. Your old proudly recounted the time his good friend of Muammar Gaddafi took him on a tour of a migrant center during which, but it's got enough to the absence of b dies in the laboratory when the late libyan dictator all school, the beat, I was useful, but it's going to emphasize the importance of washing before oral sex, the billion as punch line, I told the
Africans about four play had its desired effect during laughter for the now. I have a lot of questions. Firstly,
Welfare Palace Coney, consider washing to be
because that is not ok and secondly,
not well paid. I is full. You got it from difficult to turn like big.
become sexually aroused look on hold on one. Second, I'm just going to wash myself in something people used to clean sheets off their office and also a body just to be sexist racist offensive. There was a nine drop full on one of the, although what's to people of all talk, but this was public Sylvia. This is like, if Elvis and open the sixty eight comeback special
I was playing hound dog in a player, Bruce White Shoes out the side, taught all news telling now and well fans of the world's alts transfer market about a sense
all week was anyone here bought a piece of art for four hundred million pounds. Yeah it's been a great week for that
the Leonardo, Davinci
smashed, the world record holder so the eight day, some another classic team up between Leonardo Da Vinci in Jesus one of his top models, and you could see holding a a bubble. Well, I was,
but, if gloss without a crystal ball, the metaphor for the art world right,
oh that was received with more controversy. The night anticipated Chris, I didn't really.
The bugle had a huge Sotheby's contingent.
Jesus, the good looking young European,
Yes, if we all know he is demonstrating the grip for the.
Fingers down the side of the same, we go for
It's not it's not in the room tonight. Chris is superimposed ahead of the 1990s early 2000s australian.
hello, Jason Gillespie on the head of
Christ believe getting at least two of an
I will see you then there's other alternative interpretations, some people that think that, as you know, these paintings were painted over. It was Jesus, smoking, Og Tam. In a in an adverb, it was a good cricketer. I see. Jesus will see it was. He took five four, seventeen for the Bethlehem blasters against with Jericho snouts in nineteen eighty rookie of the year in the Holy Land Super League that year, of course, before
It's in cricket to concentrate on the soldering magic tricks, home, brewing insurance, don't be racing such a shame, israeli cricket Israeli fallen off since then a casual it could be just casually flicking of a of a roman policemen who to accuse moving Messianic without a license.
And four hundred and fifty million dollars is went for including
my worry, though, is that is this kind of transfer fee pricing, ordinary people, ordinary families and kids out of buying
I mean it's, so you should be something you do on a Saturday afternoon. Will you go with you? Go with the appearance, nipped
a local auction house, the Yule ball I miss out. She will simply rely on still have changed a few points with the kids in the pub on the way home. Today's young, all funds, it's gonna drops you know going to support an IRA, yeah they're, just going to watch all documentaries on telly, all of them. I should go on other invitees. Absolutely disgusting,
what happens to it? English aunts, what happened to a supporting young English on ice instead of in pulling this foreign on since I've absolutely disgraceful that the I did realize that was bordered million. That does make this place because technically work for nine months
four hundred and twenty nine twenty two hundred million, with name or two hundred million he was here, don't don't bring
It was, it was a truly historic auction. The auctioneer accepted he paused just before making the enunciation of the final bid. What
Jesus. I mean that guy
I'm disgusted, I did not know that puns were an airborne contagion. Apparently one of the weather
one of the other men in the room, kept building to rent the painting and complaining that he wasn't allowed to rent the painting, but he was just a among
LISA, the actual king is going on here. What
he's got a gun. One of the
attendees was just a floating orb sent by a wizard to take a look at the painting. Until arrival, wizard turned it into a snake. It was the adoration of the Magi
This is more. This is worse than the passion of the Christ. What you were doing to Jesus now is worse than what MEL Gibson did to him in that film he was guilty
National, never again.
I always forget your creative consultant on that movie. I imagine it was quite a tricky working relationship between you and MEL Gibson.
I have following the sale of the Da Vinci. All the items were auctioned, including a tablet: ecstasy, allegedly the final piece of a collection of drugs owned by Liberace before his death. It was the last awful,
I'm not sorry have you finished,
That was horrible.
That's like Obi WAN, admonishing Luke for using his lightsaber indoors, not clear who the boy was at three hundred and forty million quid bugle sadly had to drop out of the bidding end over when it taught the two hundred million mark. It was either that or a nuclear deterrent, and I know which way I'm going on that, but you also worry that
some other big paintings are going to start agitating. Rumor is the Mona LISA is getting unsettled at the Louvre.
here in London. Friend's house is the law. Firm cavalier is reportedly phoning it in the Wallace Collection and it does look an invisible like on stuff and getting his dream move to the product museum in and
come overs, three graces, the celebrity sculpture.
Works so well as a team, but that now market forces going to drive that part looks like you froze Uni is joining a big money. Chinese gallery
well. This is a glare, is off to the met in Nyc to try and crack it on the major major league, sculpture, circuit and failure is contemplating retiring to become a tv art pundit disappointing. For me, the three graces so you're aware of the three graces, a sculpture, didn't really capture the sporting essence of any
three cricket playing brothers, W G, a M and G F crisis Post made that save you from in the same match in nineteen. Ninety, the yeah yeah definitely definitely lacks the bay at.
What I cannot emphasize how king, where these are listen
I understand that in context this all
makes sense, but you have to understand this is a technique of performing in this room. I'm I'm not used to people shouting out what about the chapel brothers hating, badly news, a famous and beloved comedian, Louis C K has that been outed by number of women for abusing his power in the latest, in a series of scandals about men and how of using that power, which reminds me of a last Thursday and also every single day in history before that.
look. It was a different time, which is to say before he got in trouble and the things remembered is
There are now literally millions of men literally shooting that Hanson regretting every time they have a pushed it do that yeah. We're just move, put a message out there to all the people who are who I've seen on the engine would like know what we know meant to hit on women anymore. When the human race die out. I say: look if you can't get a woman to breed with you. Unless you look down her top, will aggressively jerk off in front of her? Well you
stand between her and the door. He'll spend deserves to die in the fall, and unless you have mutant genes that have the capacity to spawn a race of half human half shrubs, you belong
at the end of your family tree, get some game, comedy mates, you're, funny powerful and can string a sentence together. Here is a fun game to play next time. You feel like showing your penis to a relative. Stranger, don't also, if you are probably not apologizing for any misdemeanors a hand
Again always include the word. Sorry
it really. It really sells the apology element and try not
question. How often people admire you slightly odd to Maine to stand up comedian felt the needs were basically felt that doing
on the committee was not self indulgent and every night of the week you get to do a call news now and cockatoos of easing. The internet's. Also in front of this is some kind of that we use a call. Could you chewing a cable? It been chewing through internet cables, yeah the Indian, which is the national broadband network? It's a you know: multi billion dollar three bill
dawaly internet infrastructure projects and is being eaten by cook. It is they just don't have the progress, then maybe they have a taste for internet trolling. I yet as a stray- and I speak with authority cockatoos, like ladies out on the hands night, a very pretty small but louder than you'd- expect into the out of the edges of your house. Zilla Kaplan, a professor in animal animal behavior at the University of New England, told the guardian. It was unusual the called used to target cables, which would be useful information if it wasn't contradicted by the fact. I don't know whether it's the Tang of online trolling, the sweet sweet flavor of you to make up influences pouring down the pipes. These cockatoos have discriminating palate, the information superhighway at it. So it's one one that if they continue
Statue into the nbn cables, they'll, eventually develop into an avian super race with a taste for calling people cucks and suddenly springing pornographic pop up ads into your work. Emails. You naive fools. You all think that this is a, but those birds are under the employ of the russian Gov.
there is no like we get, will hold one of those call good to just gonna mysteriously turned out to be cold Slotomania, I'm high from St Petersburg. I know the bird news as a funny buglers in the channel islands be where there is a terrorist Siegel.
lesbian? Now that was my wrestling name
there is. Are you sleeping
eagle people in the channel islands, not yet clear exactly what cause the Siegel is fighting for.
maybe something to do with the? U fishing quotas, Siegel in front choice, mints tax. I do a lot of that business off shore. Of course,
could be maybe some bizarre. Ok
Extremists, Eagle, interpretation of the bible- we just don't know we just please- have described the terra goal, which has a silent p on the big in
winged and dangerous, and it's interesting actually
there's terrorists, Eagle Donald Trump has been eerily eerily quiet on the subject of
Iris Siegel besides, if that, but if that had been a bird with brown or black,
feathers he'd been all over it, but I mean telling us we need to send all the pheasants back to pheasant is still and will put this uh, this bugle birth section we can cross over now to join our live. Uh
we can cross over now to join our life partner, birds podcast for this special bird, section,
hello, everyone I am Heronemus clinic and welcome to what if Jane Austen, had been a puffin healing,
based in the series of the british literary review, podcast
examining what great authors who would have been like? Had they been a specific species of bird in the previous
search. We came to the conclusions that field
just they have ski had he been an albatross would probably have eaten a
quite considerable quantity of fish
even Miguel De Cervantes had been a pheasant
he would likely have been shot for sport before picking out even a single of
literary masterpieces to discuss,
often as puffin. I am joined by Clifford Marinette from the British
Finn Association and Professor,
Julieta sneeze. Mark author, of course, of Jane Austen novelist, woman, Acrobat spy Clifford,
if I may start with you, Austin was of course seldom renowned for her brightly colored beak, but now
I said we were short of time, send yep well uhm,
oil price overtime, but
Sing, a lot of a lot of famous singers own birds, own person,
call from the bird ordered. The show castle forms take issue with you. Looking upset at this point. You are an enabler under participants.
trying to hit it off
string coverage. Is it a lot of famous singers? Apparently oh yeah,
you want me in the eyes, as you said, that it was king, horrendous one. I liked it
so we also there was one that was one of these uh. These birds was jointly owned by two famous things, with the same surname Jarvis from the Britpop band pulp and the 60s soul, blues singer Joe the Cockatoo.
Hum a friend of mine had a used to keep all of his people, his parents, in a in his vehicle. It was a bit of a word that was black and white painted black and white. In the pattern of a large woodland creature, he called his badgery car
just a little insight into this. Just before we came on stage- and he said to me: oh, is a badger, a rodent and I was like, but the level of fun.
checking that goes into this bullshit. He lost his keys and he's looking through a big pile of keys, and he said all these mine.
yeah yeah. It was so annoyed african, great, the after the african grey,
african q, a memory. It's always finish. This was when he died. He went from went out to celebrate getting a new bird and he was eating seafood in a french restaurant. I don't know if I got a phone call. Local restaurant telling us exactly choke to death on a large oyster that eating whole shell. An old on the french wait to ring me up and said they
Elias will away look grown cockatiel, a more talkative. Now, look the other way up in my hair, so I've done two birds. Two
with a syllable cock in and I've not gone down the obvious route on
the one. I hope you would mind that you'd, like wow
so that I mean that is one of the that was like a hostile,
I never thought I would hear round of applause laced with so much again
Well, we have a. We have RON's, spectacular overzealous. Thank you letters with it of having us really show appreciation. Well, everyone. You see that all you think Chris to produce a the thinking moms, making a list of all until next time. What is the gentleman one more? The landing there you go, the prime cuts of Thursday's live show. Well, first of all, I've got you. Could I politely entreat you to listen to my new BBC radio four show
entitled my life as a dot dot dot in which I explore an attempt to live by the teachings of
leading branches of ancient philosophy, starting this week with stoicism. The show features. Some
genuinely fascinating interviews with people who know far far more bout philosophy, and indeed life than I do. If you look up a BBC radio, four Andy Zaltzman and my life as a then, you should find the program page
Where you can listen also available next Thursday, the first episode of
earn believable ashes. That's my new cricket pulled because covering the imminent, very, very imminent excitingly, Eminence Australia, V England TEST Match Series CO hosted by the excellent australian comedian for this of the world, I'm produced by Tom Right X. You will produce a from the early days for ABC radio. That's the unbelievable ashes. First episode of I
on Thursday. If you enjoyed this week's live, bugle accepts. Why not come to the next log? You will shows also the Leicester Square Theatre on the eighteenth of January, on the twenty second of February, details on the internet and, while still at it, why don't you build up? So that's what
also coming to see my show at London, Soho Theatre, that's Andy! Zaltzman is two thousand and seventeen this certifiable history. It runs from the 18th of December to the sixth of January, with the odd day off here and there for things like eating a lot of turkey with my family,
second installment of my exclusive year by year, chronicle of this planet and is frankly the greatest Christmas present. You can possibly get for yourself, your
really, your friends, your enemies, your bodyguards, your pets, your knitting
Jill, Monacan, even your spouse and or spouses. I'm not judging you go to the so. How? If it's a website for details, I can guarantee it will be better than sitting at home staring into a bucket of cabbages. That's he's an absolute sultan guarantee! No for that amount, because you are now free to go about your business and don't forget to tell everyone. You know to listen to the bugle. All that will be held the bike. Thank you for listening to us until next time. Goodbye and the salesman live it so close it eighteenth of December to sick the January, don't miss it or you will regret everything for the rest of your.