Well, 2019 was utterly bizarre. To prove it, Andy shares the 1st half of his take on the year.
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hello, geographically producer Chris. Here we continue to receive missives from this parallel universe. At least we think that's what it is. What is it with half a glass of water? what's going on with you use aliens new, I don't know, but the mouse coasts does so, please give it illicit subscribe now in Apple podcast, Spotify and all the other good places place eyesight sites. You know the Bugle Audio Newspaper, a visual, Google is of an these ultimate unwelcome to issue four thousand one hundred and thirty six of the bugle. This is not a normal I miss out, but I'm counting it as a full bugle. Please do not argue with me what you are How to enjoy enjoy enjoying in your those two mixed up this week is a big old chunk of my two
thousand and nineteen decertify. Will history shout from the one also how Theatre in London this week. People is, in fact the entire Annette. The first half of that show in front the first off was quite longer than the second off. If that makes sense, that's just call it off haven't you ever, though, those million interval just show out too in section double ok, don't matter anyway. That's what about him! A few notes, the Bugle Bleep Machine has been switch. Of that there will be. No beliefs is weak. So if you are listening the people on a large portable speaker and a nursing home for the easily offended and linguistically sensitive. Please be warned, it is all artistically just about, of course, but I do Quite a lot of said so it off. Thank you posted on the job, recorded on the third of January, so the online might have dated a little, and there are a few lines that you, my recognise, if you'd been listening to recent be was not too many, though I think in some of the most successful front.
rises in the world, after all, rely on saying the same thing every week of over again for all of time, mentioning no major global religions, so. Whilst there is no food new book episode this week. Please bear in mind that it wouldn't have counted anyway all the news in the world, and this is upon us. After all, that is warbling only edge of various precipices luck and indecisive spoil for choice. Nineteen, twenty solid movie star well, every has been rendered completely irrelevance, biplanes Harry and make a sensational abounding Britain just when we needed the most. How is on you factoring sector gonna recover without them. How to parents, like me, explained to our children, the Prince Andrew, is in effect closer to becoming then he was a week ago and how we going to survive economically as a nation. If we cannot marry Megan, Harry's, Howdy Royal progeny to the saudi arabian role, family or bugs kids or whatever alien being a loan, musk brings back from space in the next twenty years. All long term plans are out the window so because of this,
all human life is on hold right now, so we might as well listen to my stand up review of twenty nineteen. We join the action At least. I hope it shortly before the schedule start of the show that have already. I must say in a few ominous sounding off stage. Announcements about voice is being right in the dressing room about Andy's Ultimate, that's may apparently being in floods of tears and are all doubts over exactly what is going on, and then this absolute bombshell
ladies and gentlemen, know what we do now have further updates for you on on the situation unfortunately, and is also has cancelled tonight, show he will hold a press conference to explain which will commence eminently at this point. You can hear honest Fraser, pushing a lectern onto the stage, a truly sensational level of theatrical anti You can imagine all hollow everybody. Thank you for coming, I'm and results and press secretary recently, I apologise for the cancellation of the show and will be coming out in a minute to make a brief statement. Would please ask for no flesh photography flash painting or flash sculpting
We strongly believe that for the form of Andy's Holtzman in any medium is an offence to the guy. and he is in enough trouble with enough of them already. Also we would request kind. No screaming, and no throwing of underwear calmly place. Your underwear in the beans provide it and you will be taking some questions afterwards. Is sitting stony silence and welcome to the stage we stand results man good evening. Firstly, thank you very much for coming all I know- is very busy time of the millennium for your. Secondly, many apologies for cancelling the show tonight. I will try my best to make up for its by
putting this press conference and taking your questions for the next hour, should explain why it is that I have cancelled to show tonight. I take my once as he'll chronicler of the year in these survival. History shows very, very it seriously. Indeed, for the past four years I performed, satirical review of the year here at the Soho Theatre, in its attempt to cost comedic light on the events of the previous twelve months to hold up, if you will the medusa of satire duty, he reinforced concrete face of politics. However, this year this past year, twenty nineteen has absolutely fucking Baden make hands out twenty nineteen five Andy's, also until it has goose me up local Roma Haddock
this last year has been too ridiculous even for Bear in mind that I make a living talking, bullshit for living and obsessing about cricket statistics to literally professional level. One ridiculous when I was eight and twenty nine June was, to all practical intents and purposes, here. It was a fight you lot north BC all over again. Furthermore, when in twenty. Sixteen I first agreed to do a yearly review, show beginning in MID too late December, looking back at the political twelve months that vision was taken the safe in the knowledge that, with the fixed term, parliament's active safely in place? They would definitely not be even a single other general fucking election until deepen the twenty fucking twenty
Moreover, given that Britain had not had a December general election for almost one hundred years, this seems like the perfect time of year for doing a show that did not have to be fucking rewritten for fucking days, however, due to a combination of unforeseen circumstances, including a fringe political issue of infantile internal conservative party squabbling of no great public concern being forcibly Just ass, I into an unenviable psychological, John. The storm fracturing the entire United Kingdom and unwinnable game of Tantrum tennysons british politics, realigned into human centipedal, blame resentment, recrimination and stropped out delusion ism whispered, a generation against generation nation against nation reasoning, it region, family, friends, family fiction against fiction, Publicans, Babylon perceptually into reality. In an unprecedented about what I would call navel gazing, if only wasn't really so much navel, gazing, is performing open stomach surgery on ourselves
national kitchen table using a european operators. The honest netteke occasionally looking up how to do so during the internet and then thinking no whip. British, we know best and hacking or cells open with a rusty bread. Knife trotted Rediffusion must still twitching and trials, and yes, I've seen it there. It is the will of the people, look at one of the will of the people or is half digestive sausage or other indeed, one and the same these days out, if only scalpels words illegal. Thank you, Brussels, before collapsing, looking over strikes metaphor than because of that, whatever I was talking about it at the start of this sentence did in fact come about was obviously a general election four days before the start of this run, which began on the sixteenth. So what was the point of carefully writing how rehearsing in perfecting the show. I would have to review the whole thing in less than one hundred hours right before the guy. Opening night admitted.
Those of you who have seen me before my no. That is not how I ve ever done in my previous support cap, Furthermore, what is the point of doing a show when you have no idea even what news has been breaking since walking home state? I don't have up until now, total silence, the ignorance and apathy of the british public up in a few minutes on God. Not even look at the news now it is guess what happened is never were as bad as things ass. They turn our measured by now, Boris Johnson is announced that he's Standing the white Cliffs of Dover Extra hundred meters up in five hundred miles around with special aside a good resistant coating, Incidentally, I love statistic: White Cliffs of Dover is the average broadsheet voter I assume why now Hell Secretary, my Hancock has announced that the conservatives are building one thousand two hundred and fifty brand new hospitals on the ground are not dropping.
Comic bombs on any the hospitals that already exist. If the same thing as it is at this I mean, if you think about it, all they can help face down in a bucket of bullshit costed and by now I Schuman, Donald Trump, has one fact nothing. Nothing I could write in this gap is fucking. Ridiculous is what is probably that I was just thinking to myself last night. The waters will really needed an extra judicial killing Irene, there's been apolitical tinderbox, pretty much everything Scots pointed out in a roundabout way I'll do This already fundamentally pointless show is rendered further futile when I think ahead to what might have happened, the end of the run on the eighth of joy
Why, when Nigel Ferrajo we on television twenty five thousand, I days or weeks, I want it, isn't real breaks it because we're still physically attached to the earth wretched with blasted ourselves in the space of drifting independently but britishly through the endless vacuum of the universe, which is what the people voted for in twenty six aid, while the eighth generally, I think they will be kept outside the walls of York for old time's sake, Nicholas Sturgeon, we'll be painted a head to toe in road riding a wicked unicorn eating a voodoo Winston Churchill screaming. I am stirred you're. The annihilated I will turning them into a hack is milkshake contact that jobs on the eighth of January, Boris Johnson, will be slapping his car coma senator are saying: is that nothing nothing? I can do that. Will stop you supporting me reading the newspaper headlines on the ninth of January friendly Tory supporting mediating poorest
sons. Wine pays moving tribute to the and this bit itself about what might have happened by the end of the rotten has already been made pointless. What was happening at all if all our work start to a decade since the asteroid flunked out the dinosaurs on the first of January, six million breezy sixty six. In basic, very both. So I'm done nonsense or camels authorize the twenty nineteen? Let me explain how I generally right the said: Babo history shows, when you been to see the shop in previous years fortunately, our right to shows are usually beginning in MID July December, running through two January's every year, at five p m. On the first of January, my get up, I sit down on my desk. I get my typewriter and a right a hundred different
actions of the show. Based on what I expect to happen over the course of of the year than on the first, in the run in December. I just pick the one. This proved most accurate and undo. But this year I have a hundred absolutely on you. simple shows a hundred out of gold dust routine, is that no one will ever here including this one? This was superb routine. I wrote Teresa my window Nobel Prize. The compromise rooting wonderful routine, reflect on how to reason. I want to land slide victory to snap somewhere election with ninety nine percent of the votes of the region. The perfect breaks it compromise, I want a thousand year transition period which please both sides by not giving, but also definitely not not giving either side what they wanted, but also not giving you decide where they didn't want or do not want the other side to also have and or not have. I think, I've gotta slowly, Romania was appointed, that's confusion. Wherein does anyone feel sorry for tourism? I
now I feel a little short of tourism. I do not think we can blame Teresa. My for her failure leading up to her her departure from office in twenty nine failure to drive our National Robin reliant to these summits of it. The majority of breakfast we are, but we can blame for the fact that she crossed that Robin we're lawns. Ten times into the same tree on the eight twenty three headings outside Croydon Would you say he with a one thing to do list, which is quite impressed when you think about it, How does she learned how difficult the art of compromises? I think we ve learned that as a nation, we because we all know all parents know how difficult compromise can we save your parent? You have twins and one twin really likes crickets and the other twin, really likes practices, and you come up with a compromise birthday, treats
it involves gonna see someone whacker Platypus with a cricket. You will end up with two disappointed: children, understandably hostile media coverage, sensual happened due to reason, my aunt Theresa made for me would very much like a gulf. For sums game of golf course: invasion. The Ryder CUP. We tackle tonnage shots with your partner partners by an absolutely terrible shall shanks Why are massively incompetence or Shangri LA for the right to fair wages? Every rough behind some trees is down because of problems run off the fairly giggling.
They shed Roy Bullshit, autobiography million quivering corporate speeches. But the point is to raise my dinner ready, awful, almost, which my promotion impossible challenges that she says he's down and then is our heavy ravaging writings and growth. A real good and you can't just go so. Can we see a line into the green? Does the treaty will have to go over the trees? This little gap in that region is confronted at low through the gap in the trees were very slow down to the front green because, as bunkers fungus from the green greatest aspects back back left and back, there is a war to hazard as well. That pretty much impose one, of course, is cloudy, is was unanimously the contours of the ferryman, even harder to judge the disciplines edging in cells that are carrying on worker exactly what
my vote on the couch truncated, convivial. What you need to do, and in turn builder, that mental images, what she wants, the shots and cause the windows of actual suspects were drawn up in a gardener, its words go left or right, but you can see the flag on the Green going right to left it swirling ominously, it's a really really really difficult shot. Now has it has consulted? I carry ones more than Gonna decides what she wants to do in just a few practice wings on that muscle, member of exactly what she wants. The baltic energy hit with a funny hound, for on development. She walks over to a gulf back and takes out a sledgehammer. I'm has been getting we're longer, sadly, consolation. The show I would never do that routine. Other committees do that, but not me, that's us going. I should have said there is a shredder next to the letter
Don't get off from Mackenzie so many good routines wasted spreadsheet cross overnight. Jane, but I've enjoyed bricks cross over joyous nation one day of celebration, marking the dialogue with all the eighties when the number of people in Britain who are too young to participate in the twenty second referendum overturned. The number of leave voters still alive there seems to be remembered as one of the greatest days in the history of british irony alongside the first time each person in Britain said. Tell you all arms, the control of all these people coming into our country. Uninvited all our stuff about a jug, no giving it But if all- but if I ever ambraciot cross over to each of the remaining breccia, voters will pay it up with. Someone would be too young to vote in twenty six. There was a particular touching seiners and gloves hospice in South shits very well,
Ninety seven year old, lifelong Europe sceptic would grab horn and cradle newborn babies. Paraphernalia paraphernalia flinch as he ass. He passed away giggling pointing at her innocent little baby vice mumbling. His final words fucking priceless Why does she realizes what's coming over the next hundred years? Is that worry pet in more will have left him a copy of how to train british to reach the pic themselves? I was convinced twenty nine Gmos get Medium, which God finally came out. Retirement I been airily side of a way my slacked offers no many, if not twenty nineteen, then and you have to offer those conventions: gonna come out retirement and tell the world the one. True faith was interesting choosing, withdraw amendment, no one
so I realized early and twenty nineteen o. My hundred predicted versions of the show that always do we not even gonna, cut the most french of mustard. and so I wrote more new versions during the course. Of the air, and events have rendered. These motions, also- and I quote myself Speaking- right now- and I say this absolutely unusually irretrievably obsolete. This whole com routine, about how the international role reactions in Hong Kong crisis Was- This is big business, not in writing only flagrantly absurd prospects of Boris Johnson becoming primary,
what's happening now is that I am trying to ram a large file into the shredder on the file of the woods regions. Boris Johnson should not be prime minister. Yes, that is the sound of may whacking the shredder, with with large files on the on the last night of the run these radical absolutely demolished. I am the very a pity me of rock and roll. And yet here we are- this is this- is a state that we we have reached. Boris Johnson is are de facto king, you enjoying jobs only in Britain having account can we trust him. Are you enjoying Johns? Only in Britain I account. Can we trust him is the but cucumber, not currently, in all evidence suggests no.
how many he already climate would rather be dead in addicts than delay breccia beyond the end of October? and he ignored the compromise and I don't want to be dead in a kind of violence that talk of death onto the coming I solution of him being alive permanently Each country, if anything he's remained more more prominently, not in the ditch than ever before, and so we have this bizarre situation. For while we have unelected Prime Minister who to visualize his own party of moderates and voices winged, look a talk about the open public procedures of the Supreme Court and parliaments, but get told millions of people who peoples of Maltese who wanted to vote on some. But they were the ones being anti democratic. We had a government to stop its own bill going through parliament and complained about parliament's stopping its barely common, the refuse to release a report on covert russian influence in british politics, because not well that no smoking knows, both auto lots of fucking smoke Nova. Cabinet. There was a
it's about whose who patiently shouldn't be, who dominate, rob and pretty Patel. Apart from lessons to children's pay attention in school, a nation creaking offered decade of austerity crimes, rising its public services, crumbling flocked, awful being strategically, with its wealth dissipating into the tax of us either leaving a food banks and billion is kind of society led by literally acting Prime Minister who Paul fulsome upon this presumably on the grounds. If you tell them even number of lives, they multiply into a fact Yet on the twelve December. Look at all this and thought to herself Do all right, Channel Roger Show, but Moreover, how sitting government run an election campaign? basically said we have been made.
Breaking the shit for over nine years, it's time for more of the same and one and what they want? A better opposition campaign than the opposition, possibly due to this region of evidence from this routine that our roads in October, when the election was called over this routine? Based on what would happen if Jeremy Carbon won the election Now that was with hindsight and indeed foresight. The biggest. If, since Roger Outcome, started rejecting the titles of his poems up into the night sky above Gotham City, and it was a moot point. Anyone could believe carbon and won the show would not be taking place with a day off the election. Everyone working in the creative industries would have been on the first train down to it. You do like, in Cornwall footed it with the royal family to Gloucestershire to hide them in a forest and then shoot them in a basement must stop. Reading
Nothing corbians campaign can compared to Captain Scott. We captains gotten turned up in Antarctica with nothing, but forty creates a bear. Some ping pong Bass a karaoke machine extremely optimistic packet of journeys of history. We probably would have lost anyway, really did not give himself the best, waiting. I think I think we can all agree in what we call a common language chosen wrongly endemic opened. You agree with that. Anyone would have been a way better leader than Germany Open for Labour party. They should have chosen in what they should have chosen was. The idea of
we call them. That would mean a fall by civic just because of the well meaning avuncular. Geography teacher is social Justice Van and inequality sceptic rather than the harrowing Lee incompetent. Reality is a famous all saying in politics at times, and it first not famous old saying, is: do not Anti Semitism to fester inside your political thought. It is at best a historically tainted brand, even even even if your opponents are basically doing the same work as on a phobia, don't father, let them take it easy to avoid all the easiest thing to do with the leader of a Labour party to avoid institutional, anti semitic recitals all day, but there's a jewish conspiracy, running politics and running showbiz bullshit. Isn't it exhibit one. Carbon himself, Anti semitic- I don't think so-
But it was certainly not as anti anti semitic as he needed to be around the black sea that defining issue of our times on Brady sprang into action like a fossilized dinosaur, penis and always leave breaks. It is the issue more than any other issue that has led to the cancellation of tonight shove, which I apologise once again just I can't do it anymore called. Do anymore breaks it jokes accounts authorized bricks it you're, really quite pertinent, sat or about breaks out of the policy for years and, frankly, made little or even now, different times. Let it go when a case any view mistake would apply european, recording it and got to watch it lightly. Living summarize, the government's governments argument on breakfast what I've a centrally sent over the past twelve months is. We are just a humble nation, of only seventeen point- four million people
working real people, but we punch above all ages. The country will be. We generally punch ourselves in the face about we're how we won the battle of Waterloo in eighteen fifteen. So how hard can complex twenty first century global trade agreements be River Britain and attended my vote in twenty six in what we rifle written in a billion years time. Look over that its lending, don't worry. If all else fails will react to bite. The queen mother now will be felt uv. Louise less fucking. Do they say an incident. Louise is a very, very different ending to avail if there are of innocent children. In the back of the Rex, it breaks it has beaten minutes. Speed may not just with a calm shake the sensation, the waves of our national sold and exchange radicalism, distinctly no magic beans, but because a lot worse use words, consensual,
Let me emphasise that wretched has given language. Total merciless flogging now have here the shorter Oxford rhetoric on his lonely the wretched language it. We need to get to know Breton itself. Of course, a new term people thought I was portmanteau word from winning british excellent that that even the basque language and others around his we european language, the basque language, spoken in the basket which is in the basque country, joyfully basque separatists, other small, given its a gazelle the figures I went out on a huge in Bilbao now to bus worth breath like the spanish boom in a cow or bull and then shit and, of course, the John
breaks it. Does we normally confusing freeware terms in human? It ought actually means is begin the process of starting to get wretched dumb, which will hopefully good at some point finding out exactly what the fuck practice is. I didn't want to get it on the uncertainty that phrase when alone That means begin a prolonged period of greater uncertainty bring the country together faced with a law. That means desperately hope that, eventually Britain falls in love with itself You got a national, auto, erotic, Stockholm Syndrome, United Kingdom Ass, interesting Fraser. We ve learned over the past four years. What actually means betrayal is now John commonly used in the right wing media, meaning the workings of a functioning democratic system meeting due process betrayal is now John commonly used in the right wing media, meaning the workings of a functioning democratic system is how the word plot, which might have read about in the telegraph nothing papers about these machiavellian behind the scenes webs of devious conducted through the murky unaccountable method of votes in parliament.
Shall live on national television. Each individual MP published instantaneously, habitable fucking on the hand, can you guess the national interest? That is what ever, you personally think the national interests. These points based immigration. What is points by what is that rightly points based immigration? That means asset stripping. Other countries, We need far more than we do, because we simply cannot be asked to fund. Trade enough of our let's call it what an oath of strictly in basic points of trading rules. Immigration is not something to aspire, straighten rules. Immigration is very much more stringent rules. Football It is needlessly violence and aggressive, despite there being a colossal amounts of spice
We have the yellow bricks, breccia alone with Abreks Montauk words the words of a sprung from bricks. It breakfast angel crises that we ve been going through an ice nor bricks why we were bricks. Husband is these about. You know how to coherent conversation with the last three or four years, because I ve been all that time, shouting fucking Fuck- is that a vision to watch the glue alpha both sides. Let me emphasise that breaks spectrum policy, coating of spittle Your tv screen automatic mathematical terms, like D, why body bricks, rapeseed calculus is working out. The unexpected derivatives abreks it by asking why result, gives you the current rate of national decline. That explains why I'm never onto we should not and must not be allowed to look it up. Another gennady, abstract bricks, Russian ISM
how does a superb fascinating awful when what you can say or do anything and then claim that is in fact breaks its animals by extra sensory perception, which has the ability to notice benefits abreks, it's that other people and the vast majority of economy. Should we cannot see the languages taken an absolute battering, but I realized the moment I realize I couldn't do show this year, which I apologise was the morning after the general election, ammonia. The thirteenth of December summit must sunset. Males are exciting lives in Brussels as a founding as the first on the markets voted in a general election. twelve and ten start amount, we haven't. You got no problem with electoral fraud, compliment apathy and fruit. Any commitment and approach is also. Was it tat, ten thousand out? What does what it takes to reach elite world class of ten thousand hours? Yet we never practices.
historically John elements, we blame the voting, but it's on my aid more which someone about another twenty six general elections will be about have referendum on? What is it my Lincolnshire back from China, ten thousand hours? I know no one private practice before the election nervous pricing. Fuck? You cannot be deterred from Roger Federal, wouldn't turn off. The women are without any practice. What you'd call you hold a wholly or a striking a rocky, we're not talking about a you thought about voting. Is Gaza wasn't omit Saunders stumble upon our parents, copy of the nineteen seventies joy of voting for drawings of people travelling offer the chance of a democracy. I was told it was only one out of votes at my school, a midget I went boys. Private school now lost things are lacking and the life cycle of a frog and the laws of Rob baby, I wasn't, or, for example, have evolved, probably out a vote objectively with long term interests of the country. It wasn't all. Wouldn't I told you that war was into how to raise children or how to talk to women, nor what
women are real thought competitors or left school and turned eighteen or revolting age, but I know these things will be that it was able to explain the laws of rugby to a bucket of tat. Bulging grammatically, perfect latin education, so much on payments as gonna, throw nosey drawn up in my political bubble, and so we are very much the same end. The political system of Munich and not very exotic and bounding arms ass the morning of the thirteenth of December, dad dad we didn't Sixty two and a half million votes for the Rhine parties under fifteen million for the parties have slightly more decisive in the referendum. Was the other white isn't so so who's? The new prime minister is managed rightful Christmas. It looks underscores he has a bit, makes completely unaffordable promises and is not that fast about Jews, That does not mean
A few very boring things to explain so send him off to his room with a copy of Maisie vote. First past the post general election. We came back a little while later some questions about our electoral systems. At that chinese old mother nature middle the pay attention at school, Yes, I'm learning about the world as it is only upset. You do not get that nobody seems to my only ten year old brain. Our electoral system is how shall I put it delicately fucking shit. Mass it looked out? We ve been here before nineteen. Eighty three labour got only nine percent more votes in the ftp liberal aligns eight point, four million semblance of million, but he got times as many votes. two hundred nine to twenty three, How can this happen rather silly? Doubtless I silly some essential. That is how we prevent electoral corrupt. in this country was. Why would you bother wasting millions and millions of pounds crooked? buying an election like they do in other stupid, a country's when you can just sit back and that first past the post basically have the same effect.
It almost Mugabe level of electoral fraud, zero understand how come in two thousand five Tony Blair put a majority on under twenty two percent of the available vote. It well some of us because more heroically on monuments, patriotically low turn. for what we fought wars for all right, not to use the freedoms we will fighting those wars for now complaining that changes miss. It doesn't first ball supposedly domestic disenfranchisement, gentlemen, it the mighty book that in twenty fifteen, the greens and you get between them, but one sixth of everyone's vote, but only two out of six hundred fifty Mps nodded. I wish I'd never had you We should give it all that give it all that. Why is it that all second chamber, the House, Lord, is elected by north point, North North North per cent of the population chosen instead through it all came strain of barely medieval cronyism and wealth? And that's the clever me that's what makes the rest of it seemed.
by comparison with the data sees me. The first ball supposes a cancerous force at the heart of our democratic nation, informants confrontation and irresponsible short termism stifles political evolution, wasn't yeah, but it's all cancerous water, the heart of our democratic. We can demonstrate that patents in the first possible We cannot give our ecosystem for something for deciding. For example, porphyry you know. It is very good that way better than most legs your favorite sexiest night, but as a means of deciding elections that first, both both is paid to me and I couldn't stick relic unfit for the world. You somewhat hypocritical expect me to grow up in, and I said who the fuck. in writing the Maisie books. These days it looks just. Let me know if it is a little different. Electronic oil rules got one of these is the Breton election single issue, election breakthrough It was a branch of the elephant in the room was not just the elephant in the room is it that is the porcupine in the pillow case, it's not gonna spaghetti
is the forerunner of the torrent of old and, above all, the shock of a patio. In many ways, disturbing of a lot definition We cannot possibly and well, in any case that how can you have a single issue? General election inclusion, the Manger General election, generally. It is ridiculous, is distorting the Nobel Prize for Literature based on which the nominees could rather most pornographic limerick, it is ridiculous that this is already a winner of a cricket world CUP final based on
Does anyone not remotely these are the same for policy over and over again? Well, some we gotta be patient. Was the great philosopher, Aristotle himself, once wrote. If you keep putting your penis insane pencil job one day, you will have a very, very sharp penis, indeed that how do we respond to seek to become normalizing lies? Essentially, just just stating who accepted truths and as well such as the great Niccolo, Machiavelli himself, once wrote. If you keep putting your cock on the barbecue, eventually people just come to think of it is another sausage, daddy, utterly Niccolo. Machiavelli did right. Why do not give that? What what Andrew Neil do respond? Let me live in the privacy of my own delusions and look at your respect. Democracy does not go to respect it. Uncle Terrence, was before the war family. We support I will turn to write that live Humphrey in front of us. The other day standing on the table yet when this programme, in the of the whole congregation a great aunt lavishes funeral Paypal about abundant Vladimir Putin's, ok club.
if you're so fuss about first, both was wanted just off the government. Noisily they'll changing hoped because Turkey's don't Christmas, do they watch so much Robin or even you Turkey's my vote for Christmas. If you open the right package of tax, and promised to invest in the infrastructure that turkey cubes and suddenly got a straight choice between Christmas or Americans giving Abracadabra Christmas landslide. double. Surely Malta point first ball suppose here just now, because the turkey industry is not going to vote against Christmas, you gave you on patriotic piece of shit. What was right for written in the nineteenth century is rife outbreak. Now we get what they want to do. All in our speedily model rose. Do that all vehicles haven't, have a blog walking in front of them waving a red flag is, are we want, and us at all, typical London centric regularly going with the two modern. Our urban speed limit Robin form on our rural speed limit. Real people were using at time, isn't Wikipedia
Fun and it would be a red flag. Wouldn't you fucking, troll snapped and through its port, who inclement tat we work today, newspapers in my face, looked look at the numbers involved. When I look at the newspaper headlines about landslides it, although only mandate all fucking country fucking mad in China, are all primary school get fucking inside clean. Please note where, but you know I don't like you just accept these. There are black and why there is a massive swing to the conservative. Now that fucking wasn't that problems are deliberately numerically illiterate, british on a hundred and ten percent british misrepresented, the will of the people through it all kind of electoral system is a core british values about another. Think that haven't them all back about british values illustrating wisely funding. Have the guards when we set
Can you not see all whose election fundamentally nothing's changed regarding break it? This country remind more polarized than the bare painted editorial independence. does my count. approvingly leads. Some people have spoken to guess. What I said is: will possibly modern in favour remain been geographically inconvenient? Why exacerbated by the fact that some of our bit fucking stupid about trafficking voting than others, according to shut the fuck up of anomalies, one good british newspapers and broke off a zoo. How can we move on other countries and if we do not pretend that we move towards a country, a country that is democracy in the same way, the being punished in the face one by boxer wearing clothes made of Singles is a cheese course still jeez. Isn't it some still cheese anyway? It suits us some first. as supposed suits, since Britain is a nation because on the first, both opposed to ever
election, the majority of people of not voted for the government, giving more than Fifty percent of its motion call blows to moan off the next five years. We said I hadn't thought Now that the scales, from his eyes. Like somebody just Rugby tackled, a melting mermaid He said to me that our love complaining was a daddy's boy The last thing you want to happen in a democracy is what you actually want to happen because then you got nowhere to job the seventh finger of blame other than into your, regretful ice hockey, cuddled means dad put the news on the next five years- are gonna be fucking,
and it was that conversation it made me realize that I can't do it. Show this year therefore shows off and we have to accept the times of change with maybe moved on. We moved on in this country moved on democratically vow, values of change things like reality, truth new ones and logic adjust outdated relics, though it with completely lying to one side along with other social and anticipates that we gradually shelved over recent years, like the poor, the disabled. dignity for the old libraries, are functioning legal system of manufacturing, sector. Objectivity, empathy, Scotland, Decent S, most number three bats he correctly used apostrophe and the liberals
So here we all accept here, we all airports, Johnson, is all prominently- was praised. The coming out the money off the election for supposedly conciliatory words and giving that speech gave in ten in Downing Street, and I will let me say that it has even standing at election election. Giving a pre written speeches. Some one of the easiest things to do in the world will work well, visor best that jokers go this entire Johnson is offered to build bridges over the himself is flooded. Now as we have London. No beware boring. money is promising to build a bridge. I'm sorry he'll divisions are touching just Hannibal. Lecter authors, surprise appointment as the head Sheffield
whose primary pledging a healthy vigour menu. How did it happen? What is actually being planned long term because it may come down to how much Hannibal Lecter wants to keep job, and that concludes the first half of twenty nineteen certified history that marked the moment the show might a transition to a second phase, a press conference featuring me. Miles, boring, polymer, the dog of doom, more from the dog of doom over the forthcoming months years and decades, thanks to obey those who came to see the show life and if you ve, what was what was essentially there? A free stand up album to stall euro if you just like the bugle in general, do help to contribute to the ongoing existence, Freedom, independence and idiocy off the bugle by going to the web page and clicking the dough night, but we will be back with a full bugle next week if the world is still in, but one or maybe to pay
in the meantime to play you out here is the first batch of new decade lies about all premium voluntary subscribers, Dick linked to human health. maiden economic study that has concluded that arise in the popularity of decorative chandeliers can sometimes such a similar, if delayed rise in the popularity of computer games, chandeliers but I am increasingly popular during the latter, half of the second millennium notes, TED and now look at computer games. You can't move in the bloody things. John price has also detected a historical links that might be worthy boffins. Investing. further the extinction of the notoriously flightless bird, the Dodo in the light seventeenth century and they subs development of human flight, beginning with hot air balloons the eighteenth century and now pinging millions of people around the world every day in aeroplanes. It's almost
the dodo, feathery flightless might people think. While we obviously cannot do that either says John, they had to die so we may fly Lellouche and Vinnie do not believe in Purple Carol they almost certainly a hoped things lellouche. Everyone knows carrots orange whatever next a cucumber might have granite, Vince, he is determined to get to the bottom of the scandal is like beetroot all over again that clearly not potatoes has many a cross between a proper providing spot on a vegetable crime scene, Russell Smith, ECHO has long believed that the origin of basketball dates back to the french Revolution and began as a fun protests bolstered evolved amongst the freelance cleaners who had to tidy up at the end of a long days. Guillotined Russell has calculated. the modern day. Basketball is exactly the same size and white as the average french aristocrats head plus liked eighteenth century wig, Kenton Mcbride, however, as a very different creation, very feeble
Basketball Kenton, asserts that the sport began as a means of covertly passing food to resist and soldiers jointly. Fourteen. three boys Anton mexican WAR when locals, LA blows, joints of meat and occasionally large melons the chimneys of the house is occupied by the resistance in the style of a modern day staff. Curry three points on Alex Russell further postulates the backbone on a basketball, called began, with the reverse side of a bogus sun dial affixed to the chimney, bought, ostensibly to healthy, humble, ordinary folk caught up in knots. Mexico, Byzantium conflict to time that compulsory often naps better, but it was in fact place to aid the food dunkards to get their food damage. With their first job is demand. Dominguez Boniface does not believe in nominative determinism and has not done. Ever since meeting a man called Armageddon plague marauder, who it transpired, was in fact a quietly spoken to whose Hobbes included collecting nineteenth century porcelain, rabbits and making his uncensored candles talk, but certainly had a great uncle
who was a quite brilliant magician until he found himself in a top security prison after mixing His words and saying Alcatraz. Instead of Abracadabra toads great uncle live out his days in solitary confinement after turning the prison governor into a bunch of flowers so you'll kins hopes they technology will soon be available. That will mean that when people hunk their homes in that car, it is the audible inside these specific car at which they are hunting rather than make all other road users think why some Boston hunting it me. all I'm doing is. I would like on the inside and swelling in front of them to snakes through a traffic light, And finally, it will hardly meanwhile, finally is renowned firm of ten. I love Sanctum, says well of love, love elements with a misleading chemical symbol? I mean S in. What on earth is going on with that will offer I recommend molybdenum as a word with quotes a terrific amount failed.
It sounds like you're turning into an emotion tank full of jelly, which I am in favour of. Theoretically, he ended this week lies whereby.