Andy, Alice and Hari look at the State of the Union, and what a state it is. Plus, is a place in hell actually a privilege for a Brexiteer and Sweden has a new monarch.
Also, emoji news and the latest on Producer Chris's broken arse.
@HelloBuglersAlice FraserHari Kondabolu@ProducerChris
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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
For a visual world, follow buglers. I welcome to issue four thousand and ninety six, all the bugle, the world's leading an army newspaper for visual world, the seventh of February, two
Two thousand and nineteen- and I am Andy Zaltzman here in London- a city pricing itself for whatever it is, it turns out it's asphalt or not artful or had asked for it on its behalf by everywhere else, and vice versa, confusing times here in London, I'm joined by.
The wonderful Alex Fraser hello Annie. How are you I'm? Well, thanks 50s fifty sleeps now till breaks down
I mean I'm bracing myself, even though I have no skin in the game. I've been infected by the theater and or excitement of the people around me right, but luckily you have another hemisphere you can escape. If they'll. Let me out, if they'll, let me back in, I don't think Australia likes my style of comedy and flawless country and a safe distance of one ocean away, but in a country that has its own political issues currently Johnny's from New York, it's Hari Kondabolu its own political issues. Currently that's a bit of an undersell, isn't it were part of an understatement? Hey Andy hails, so how is America bearing up every time? You ask me questions like that. I know you're, saying with some kind of mocking tone or intent
parable. Andy is bad, it's not really more interested in these difficult times we turned to each other. We are,
Indiana Basket we're bonded through history by various things. At the moment, we are
by our own political incompetence, find shelter in each of those. It's a sympathetic hand. Clasp of somebody who you know has also shot themselves in public.
Uh. How much research did you do for that?
According on the seventh of February February of courses around month and bugle, is proudly supporting the chair.
fundraising month by scheme of February, in which you fob people off with half arsed answers to legitimate question.
Britains politicians have really got stuck into this one. This month,
It's like one of those guys who grows a full set of victorian mutton, chops, bushy, start and tuten common beard bed from over.
and we are also supporting February, where we pledged it'll tell at least one fit
every episode of this podcast for the entire month later? In the year,
awareness month, including pray for, in which we will pray to a different god, everyday for
it's hard most to see what happens like this sample sizes of the cosmetic counter,
What is Hinduism alone can cover that
a true in which
they will chew. Every bit of food- thirty two times before swallowing it snow August, where we promised to be as dull as possible for an entire month, which is some challenge, abstract ember.
So we have to be a sub strippers as possible for the thirty days of September and October,
in which we pretend to be a medically qualified doctor for an entire month for chapter,
who is a section of the bugle, is going straight in the Bin and will a couple sections this week, including Valentine's day next Thursday, the 14th season. You don't need be rocket scientist to know this Valentine's day, St Valentine,
of course, as the most romantic of all the saints, so why more? Romantic, for example, some group and the business like
little area in the not very confident with girls, some
but not easily impressed by flattery and
Squeem, the patron saint of being non plussed by bodily functions. Hence the term squeamish, which is also a term used by very possible to describe the art of Edvard monk for Valentine's day.
It took me a minute, and now I can't let go of it,
go over the go,
full of Valentine's day section, we offer them to you with a bugle, multi purpose: Audio construct your own Valentine's day cards. So you just
to audio delete the bits of this Valentine's day, message that you do not want dearest in certain
name of your intended beloved here of long for you ever since the
Ok, I first saw you stroke,
The moment I heard you been released Tuesday afternoon stroke it because
clear that Brenda wasn't interested stroke the end of the cricket season. When I'm not
If you all, I can think about, is you stroke, Nuka stroke on stroke, international tax law
international tax lawyer Brenda.
If you wanna be my Valentine, I will take out my disappointment in the form
platinum, selling, album or series of harrowing short films, stroke, emigrates, stroke, fabricate some proof that Brenda's new boy,
Steve is still seeing. Debbie love from guess who stroke question Mark question Mark question, Mark Stroke, Silvio Berlusconi delete as applicable,
and as an MP three file, I mean and the I a I always have mixed feelings about Valentine's day, because I've never had the ability of the kind of romantic Valentine's seeing because I've always been surrounded by the kinds of people who think it's an overblown commercialized holiday. Also, yes, of course it is, but it's nice to get stuff and love, but
so possibly have given the impression that I'm not that into Valentine's day, because when a Valentine's day comes up, I remind people that some Valentine was also the saint of epilepsy and base. That is one half number. That is a multi tasking taken to an impressive level. Yeah you don't
to get you Remix mixed up on any given day
are you are you what's your attitude to Valentine's day? Well, historically, I've hated it, but this year I find myself in.
Happy, loving relationship, and I like it now I don't
understand the correlation, but also the business
special celebrity section this week, focusing on what celebrities think goes into a chicken nugget, christian bile. The Hollywood actor thinks that chicken nuggets contain at the remnants of beach terrapins washing powder, I'm not skillful for beach. On a on a windy day
corn flour to mix it all together. Martina Hingis former tennis champion, thinks that chicken nuggets are made of recycled copies of night
sixties, nudie magazines, the use tennis balls from the French Open or she would think,
and meat from all those and wildebeest that they killed, filming nature documentaries
Simon Schama, the celebrity british historian. Thanks for the chicken nugget
my by getting a single chicken and compress
get down to Lubbock size using a mechanical nugget, ing machine. The blood of the crush poultry is then used to make ketchup, believes the famous historian
and Belinda Carlisle Popstar STAR, former former front of the go, go's
believe that chicken nuggets are made out of whatever is left of your mountain village. After the chicken band is had being through town plus corn flakes
sections in the Bin rightfully so and
top story, America, has its state of the union.
Orca in Parral, Karma
apologizes for being late. Yes, indeed,
Donald Trump delivered. His second state of the union address on Tuesday, urging unity despite well being Donald Trump,
It's an astonishingly, perfect, platonic rendition of bare faced hypocrisy. I mean I say: bear face despite the fact that he
old time seems to be peering through a skin tight bank heist mask made out of old ladies tights, or that thing that
in prison, do when they want to protect themselves from jail predators by smearing themselves in their own poop. One thing I had about
Brotherhood cast it's called bronzing up, Alice Notley, which part should not need to be told that not everything
here on all
That was in the been three months ago,
I try to say horrible. Everyone was impressed by Trump's speech. Should Nancy Pelosi sitting behind in the speaker of the House of Representatives uploaded to a Trump for
It's like a conservationist, applauding a colleague, who's just castrated, the last remaining mail of an endangered rhino species and said right where we plot them, so they grow
It's I mean: how did how did you enjoy as a as an American? Well and
expected to be really angry, but I was mostly numb, so I'm at that
stage of grief? Now I was offended as a stand up comic by all the undeserved standing ovation, not a single joke that would
want to even bother writing, wasn't even it wasn't even kind of funny. Every two minutes
come and stand up
I is this no just that kind of you, the comedy of all goodness the funny, because it's not funny
You know what I think if there weren't consequences, I could see that
I mean it was a big deal. Milani was there because it is.
stipulated in her contract the contract she signed to play: Donald Trump's, wife.
two thousand and twenty, at which point there is a team option
for four more years that option will likely be picked up?
look to orange, which I found amazing 'cause, they always say: spouses start looking like each other after awhile and it didn't take that long. She
a very sharp orange they love carrots will be fair to so how they keep their eyesight. So sharp.
he chose a very interesting strategy in the beginning of the state of the union 'cause he chose history like he began with
thing about World WAR two and
liberation of Dachau and then he went into the moon landing and how
kredible an achievement that was fifty years ago and Buzz Aldrin was there it's
like he wanted to focus on things. He did not.
Blish and was not there for just to remind people how
but it could be or was at one point like. I was waiting for him to mention Jonas Salk.
polio? I was expecting him to
They remember the Wright Brothers and when they flew in Kitty HAWK, I was expecting them to him to say remember
one thousand, nine hundred and eighty four men's hockey team, which beat Russia in the Olympics. I expect
Get him to say. Do you remember when President Bill Pullman gave a speech in front of the world as the aliens invade?
did the United States and rest of the world and, as you
and then he conquered the
verse once and for all also
number Beyonc always remember Beyonc or I'm just going to have to pick you up on something here,
one thousand nine hundred and eighty, the Soviet Union versus America ICE Hockey match the miracle
nice in there like. No, it wasn't sorry over one thousand, nine hundred and eighty four far from it.
Oh, my god, I'm so embarrassed 'cause.
Obviously, everyone caught that error, as I would say,
bullshit on this program, all right, but I will not take sporting factual inaccuracy
There was a sporting element to this, because the Republicans in particular
chanting. Usa, USA
I don't remember what Trump said to trigger that reaction, but I
scared to death that there would be a hate crime during the state of the union
right here, angry white people chant that I start walking in the other direction. It's strange because
we're chanting, USA, USA. Why
in the USA during the state of the USA's union.
what did you just mirador of these things?
I don't think you mentioned that you mentioned a lot of things. He had nothing to do with and also um well raised, the fact
There were more women in Congress than ever before,
why he did. I mean that is his accomplishment in a lot of ways that clearly he fine,
he woke America out of it,
somebody's given is given, please confirm a real shot in the arm in a president who is less of a groping,
Socialist probably wouldn't be nearly so inadvertently progressive.
I really enjoyed the way that the large number of women who were sitting that a lot of them chose to wear white indifference to the suffrage because I just come from, but a cricket match at say wanted to a set
they weren't having their period so that he take them seriously, but they sort of alter
in between, I think, trying to encourage him in his more sort of reasonable
statesmanlike remarks by standing up and applauding him with a few
notable exceptions, social media, STAR, Alexandria, Ocasio Cortez, with particular
a working on her stank face at all times price stank face. Thank face yes, like when someone makes a stank in New York who the face you may okay yeah, it's a legitimate word in modern polish. She anyway, she had. She had a face on. Yes is my point. She looks
about as impressed as a vegan non a pagan by just laying in devil summoning convention add to eat it off to a doctor. She was criticized for not looking positive in a usual style.
And uh not tweeted? Why would she with Trump speaking out of his own mouth and tweeted? This we're flying without
pilots now always about a would dispute from from Alice on at Alexandria catch a cold as I think there is definitely a part.
Let's in America, and that is in many ways. The problem is not the lack of pilot. It's who the pilot is. What is doing and the fact that he's
with himself in the cockpit in a shouting digger digger, digger, digger, digger digger. That mountain looks at me funny, I'm to teach you a lesson. It will not thinking that. That's that's the problem
did you notice that his tie was crooked? Oh didn't
whole state of the union. His tie was crooked, and no
on bothered telling him, which tells you a lot about what people think about him. Stop slutshaming him. I mean the
this just seemed symbolic, like yeah,
that is appropriate.
Being I mean, read it by his own life to his.
He brought out a family who lost loved ones.
Killed by undocumented immigrants.
Which is evil, it's evil that he chose to do that, but he brought them.
He brought out a couple of black folks who were pardoned and released from prison.
He brought out a little girl who survived cancer
and keeping all these people. I
they are part of the actors that apparently also serve as victims and all these shootings there from
same repertory theatre. This conspiracy goes right right to the top, but I think-
He should be commended for exploiting such a diverse range of people. This
the kind of representation I did not want necessarily, but still I I like the fact that some of us are now on the screen. Trump said.
We must reject the politics of revenge, resistance and retribution and embrace
the boundless potential of cooperation compromise and the common good at police
will switch the verbs in those sentences on the old key was a classic anchorman style prank, but it was closed post to be. We must embrace the politics of revenge
Distance in retribution make a lot more sense. Trump calling for conciliation and bark bipartisan cooperation to Maine is like
Someone writing the words. Do not allow your dog to file the sidewalk on the sidewalk
using his own shyt. Throughout this,
each Nancy. Pelosi was staring at a stack of papers in front of her. I don't know if there were like a cop.
We have the remarks are basically the order of events as she was staring at those papers.
She looked like she was staring at a menu and hated every single, but was trying
to be polite.
There was a lot of people picked up on the factory that Trump didn't mention: climate change, uh from a global perspective. That
it's a bit of a it's curious oversight, given that climate change is essentially the biggest
to fight facing the entire planet, the clock is ticking. An
more concerningly is not a real clock. It's obviously not just the clock. This was clearly sticking out of it, Joe Clement,
It resigned from the Interior Department over Trump's battle against climate science said. The Trump administration strategy is to ignore climate change, pretend it doesn't exist and pretend the science doesn't exist
even if it is coming from its own agencies. Well, I say: have you
a better way of dealing with climate change than that. Then,
just flatly ignoring it, because
there's, no other solution that isn't really difficult, quite expensive and a bit inconvenient. So that happened, interest option, yeah,
I'm going to disagree with you and with regards to him not mentioning climate change, because
kind of mentioned it because he said,
aids will be illuminated in a decade which, to me implied, global warming will kill us all by them. That's right,
That's what he meant. That's not going thinking, that's become a hallmark of Trump's presidency
also coming out as Anti AIDS is not courageous, since it's not one thousand nine hundred and eighty seven we're all going to agree to that Trump was also critic
As for his speech being too long clocked in eighty two minutes. Well
here at the bugle, we're not entirely in a position to slam anyone for banging on endlessly working patiently divorced from sense in reality and if you too,
listeners want to see a man going on a bit too long. Whilst the woman behind him looks unimpressed at his obvious bullship come to the
Google live us store, shows with me on stage and on a big screen behind me. Looking
Lucian Ola, I would imagine I'll be sure to clap sarcastically at various points. Yes, I was came to come along, but you make your visa is very expensive America. So I'm going to be here in the remote form of judgmental Android. This tour starts on the 26th
where the Bell Housing Brooklyn then strap in the.
Many left in Washington DC on the 27th, the Loft Boston, on the 28th of February. Then, when
the Columbus in Providence RI on the first of March, the iron horse in North Hampton Massachusetts on the second of March, punchline Philly in Philadelphia on the third of May.
so Lincoln Hall in Chicago on the fourth of March,
The cedar in Minneapolis on the fifth of March, comedy works in Denver on the sixth of March and the Alberta rose in port
on the seventh of March. Yes, you're right. There are no days off in that lot and quite a lot of miles to cover. So as long as the transport system
looks and it always doesn't America doesn't it. It should all be fine, then, three days off, then we finish a San Francisco called on the eleventh of March and the dynasty tight right in LOS Angeles on the two.
the March details on the bugle website or the rest of the internet or my website. If you can get the dust off it or from your local priest or any passerby,
and I will be there in all of those places, but also more importantly, in my bedroom.
Venezuela NEWS, should he
stay or should Citgo
what you've done there yeah. Thank you. Thank you. The clash
Well, I should let you know I did some research
focus solely on
can news coverage of what's happening, and what I discovered was that Venezuela is a country on the northern coast of South America yup right, so that that's the
That's the coverage right! Well, I
be more in depth than uh than uh?
american news outlets have gone? Well, I mean
so to sum it up. While we are all very focused on our own political chaos sees, it is important to remember that other places in the world are also wallowing in their own horrifying barrels of governmental, bum juice. The ongoing political crisis in Venezuela has divided both the country and the international community around it. Some people backing President Nicolas Maduro who
is a madman with the madman we know, and others are supporting the man who challenging him. Who seems a lot more saying, except that he's running up against President Nicolas Maduro,
Who is, I think, to put it put it in
only made out of bananas, and I mean it cool things under Maduro. Pretty intense is to understate things deeply. It's like calling David Tennant, pretty charming when in fact talking to him is like having your face sandblasted by the approval of every human you've ever respected or wanted to bang. Until you just a puddle of smiling sludge yeah, I mean absolutely
I'm Venezuela has had a bit of a tricky time all of late, and it yes seem to come down to this. This is also for power between the two,
Where are the undemocratically pseudo elected presidents and Wine White Oak, the democratically elected self proclaimed
What is Maduro Authoritarian like China and Russia on the side of God would be, would be authoritarian that Brazil in the USA
it is finished.
out of each having a rotten time, particularly now. It's a blue chip economy, blue chip, the famous
pretty much sensor, bad leadership, unstoppable immigration, crime, hyperinflation and one
Four million percent inflation it's hit recently, which is
I mean when it gets over the key one point: three million percent you've got real real problems.
Despite of its many problems, is the four million venezuelans of immigrated since begin,
if you go shove as his rule in nineteen. Ninety nine, that's more than ten percent of the population.
polar couple years ago showed that well over half of the people wanted to leave and this
I told party at my house this Maduro
stormed to victory in last year's presidential election with a
Let's just sounding sixty seven point: eight percent of the vote, yeah
You know they just wanted to make it sixty nine
that always happens. It's all these, like
strongman dictators, they always win by landslide. You gotta keep it close. If you're going to,
Cheat you don't want to make it too obvious. Don't go for an a get like a plus
I mean I one fifty two percent I was so close, though I really
enjoyed this quote by Grados mother on CNN, which is that she told him when Obama became president that he walks, like Obama,
and Obama rolls up his sleeves and Guido, also
does that, but she added it's not like he's mimicking Obama, the nicest
mom in the world. What time supportive mom you want,
compose, threatened military intervention in
in Venezuela when how's that going to work out. Alright, I'm just looking at the history of american military interventions.
And by the fear of communism. Out how they generally gone poorly,
morally, it has led to massive spending a great deal of death. I mean I
This is a theory and it I'm not going to you know, spend too much time in it, but
it might have to do with oil.
not sure, I'm not sure how to say
is it not just the attraction of a country with both Avianna Zed in its name,
there's something alluring about that's why most alluring country number the Venice of the s.
Into Venice wailers were northern ITALY's leading relations influence. Bob Marley tribute acts as well. Yo ones
Maybe it's just curiosity
the rest of the world row wise Russia and China, so interested in America seems so
despite that, there is at least seven countries between Venezuela in the USA. If you wanted to walk from one to the
the maybe a fascination how account of thirty million people in
huge potential oil wealth have never made it to a football world cup.
Final score country, not american country,
They must have been focusing on something else. There
play planning, they focused everything on taking over the world rather than football, like the other s american countries or how come a country so close,
to the cricketing hotbed of Trinidad and Tobago how's. It never embraced the greatest invention in human history. It's a config!
I think it's an earlier country. I can see that
a Maduro who enjoys the backing of the Supreme Court in his country, has rejected demands
new presidential elections offering at dialogue instead and I think by dialogue. He means the kind of dialogue where he punches you in the face and
Can you get to say owl
it really bizarre that European
countries, a number of them had deadline
for majority call for elections or
else they would recognize one Grado, as President first point
Where is the USS deadline? The us
get a deadline for a fair election. We had a compromised election.
able leaders and I do think, there's a threat of another civil war no elections. Secondly, I think
whole. Not recognizing. Another country is absurd and childish, like
he's. The leader right now right is Maduro here no
I'm right here. I don't see Maduro calling and election. I guess you're the President now want, but I'm right here too bad Maduro. Couldn't step up childish in political correctness, gone mad news now, Howard Schultz, billionaire Starbucks mogul has used the terms, people of means and people of wealth instead of calling,
m billion as at a recent queue. In a event, it's a weird linguistic conflation of the plight of the super rich with other people's actual plight to use the syntactical comes
action most often deployed by, for example, people of color. Like the hard
struggle you guys go through that is different from poor people is that you have to come to terms with the truth.
With the adage money doesn't buy you happiness and I'm sure that's very hard, but not as sure as I'd like to be I'd like to find that out. For myself I mean how far,
I'm going to take this kind of euphemistic approach are poor people on a yacht doing well face is
having an affair with doctor cultural appropriation. Can I refuse to pay my taxes out of solidarity? He
he said that the moniker billionaire has now become a catch phrase.
That is not what a catch phrases
catch phrases like whatsapp or I know you are, but what am I billionaire is just math yeah
Or do you have a.
so we should be able to call them whatever they want
Well, you say that never oppressed, but the way I look at it is how many billionaires are there in the world? Two hundred, it's not yeah, not that many. How many
the starving people living below the poverty line, although hundreds of million so who's who's
you know if we don't look after the billionaires 'cause, they don't breed that mother like pandas, then they could easily die out within a generation or two. So please support
I feel that Schultz has a legitimate shot only because
there are so many basic people in the United States. So I think
else can ride the pumpkin spice wave to the presidency. He could he could
probably get elected just promising not to write people's names wrong on their takeaway cup least,
at least we had achievable promise that'll be rare in politics
I I quite like Starbucks there a good place to go to the bathroom for the restroom for arrest.
Well, the we room for a week brexit
is now and well that's another clock that is ticking sex with a stranger room. Alright go on, I mean
STAR Fox NEWS. Now is another clock:
only time you can't hit the brexit clock ticking is when the politicians pop out of the clock and go European Council President Donald TUSK said
but there is a special place in hell for those who promoted brexit without even
sketch of a plan of how to carry it out safely as special, but what I always get their own special. We show here in Maine a special place.
the Cayman Islands, that more likely I can just
engine Virgil, guiding Dante through the circles of hell gesturing to the irresponsible promise politicians on right next to assist a process to roll up his rock up the hill again and again, but it's
like when nine to five they're all made to sit on chairs made out of stinging nettles, but they are allowed to wear protective parents, but they have to be mad at made out of their own moral fiber and then
officer. They have to be the dead pig whose mouth gets by David Cameron. So
virtual cutting leading Dante yeah. It wasn't at the
ties into inferno like Virgil was guiding him through the having studied classics, as I did extremely aggressive,
I do hope that at some point, Dante turned to Virgil and said all
she wrote about. Farming was a pile of
anyway? I I think this, at least
it may be. This is tusk promising. There will be a special place in hell for those behind brexit as some kind of deal
sweetener because even for me, as as a natural remainer, somebody would like to just go back on the entire thing. If the EU will able to promise
that Boris Johnson, Michael Govan, Nigel Farage, would be sent.
Do an eternity in hell with only each other for company. I
sign up for that yeah. But you have to acknowledge that these
It will not be rating. That is a bad thing. You know having.
and going to these private schools as children or what you call public schools. I don't know your english people are weird
and what we sold they will here is like a special place for may just mean if we go
go to Hell. I might as well be in the boys club there
it's not fair to say that they they promoted, breaks it without even a sketch of a plan of how to carry it out it. There was definitely a sketch just
it was drawn in crayon on the back of the napkin, and it just had a little smiley face Label Briggs it and then out arrows this the sketch of a plan,
Theresa may is, as we speak back in Brussels to try to hack out forty attempted plan B, also
exactly what she's hoping to squeeze out of the with the task of hope, but is also Conan Doyle. All thirty creek in his last famously wrote in his little non
book. Sherlock Holmes negotiates a treaty when you have ruled out the preferable. Whatever remains, however, unpalatable must be what you can tell people that it was actually voted for.
What one small note to look at it: what tusks
in a positive light. You know
special place in Hell will well that's at least
I'm place Brits can go without a visa. That's good the bank
England, Governor Mark Carney has warned of the fog of Brexit in a speech, but does not fog.
Eventually clear just let the winds of fights this week
bridges of time blow away the mists of this ephemeral confusion and reveal the clear waters ahead between
so they now unavoidable waterfall we're about to plummet over in our national dignity of destiny. I mean isn't
written very famous for having at one point these pea, soup, fog literally killed people. Yes, yup up. We grew. We grew up now. We just have diesel because
something fumes into children budget.
jewels that were stolen from a cathedral last year, Peter being found in a bin.
Stock home two crowns in an object from the year, one thousand six hundred and eleven were stolen
I still work interesting Lee
lost. In those days you modern, crowns and August might more functionality for today's social media media, conscious
for century monarchs, but you know they'll, look trendy and be super efficient, but then you know after a few years, they'll start getting glitchy just before the warranties
please completely stopped working within five years, just in time for the new improved model to come out with these old front.
Yeah these old crowns and orbs first off there's one question factors and uh:
or do also, how do you manage two crowns and one orb? Surely wanna knob for each hand and one crown for your head. What do you bring the crowns on your tips? I don't get it the jewels
and by a security guard during what I assume we're his regular been rubbing rummaging around the discovery of these,
royal jewels either a raises. So many questions for me and the first is that been the king. Now,
I just came as a police spokeswoman said: work is underway to determine whether they are in fact the jewels that were taken. If they're, not the stolen jewels, who's jewels are they and why are they in the bin? Thirdly,
still the banking require of us, his most bio waste, producing subjects. Will he appreciate us for feeding him delicious scraps or resent us for our lack of respect? And, most importantly, will there be a royal been wedding? I am one hundred percent up for covering myself in egg shells and used tea bags, and going to that spokeswoman was unable to confirm the location of the stock home, been where the treasures may have been found. Presumably attempting to head off a surge of garbage, diving king, Arthur Wanna, be the theme
clear Crandall Clip Titian's assets in the news report to have quotes. Courts
the scene on ladies bicycles are. This is the problem.
With the well being tolerant of gender fluidity and simple songs. We would have seen a mile man on the lady from of like, and that is known something fishy was up, then of Russell, the crimson, the full Sang Yoon, all real lady, but you're riding a lady's bicycles, your country hills only little, so you must be up to now go to been solved solved a source. I mean
I'm all in favor of people riding whatever bicycles they want to ride, but
privacy of their own bedrooms. Definitely not always stealing priceless crown jewels. Where will it end with babies on diamond encrusted, quad bikes, old women on jet skis is not natural, someone at the site, no, they didn't just start OBS
I don't do it for me, but it's bad visuals, but nice pair of old in the right place at the right time and family show,
to me, it just looks like demonic is, not
focused on the job in hand when you see him on it with an object like they are ticking off the minutes until they can go bowling. Did they find Thors? Hammer was that amongst the things they found or thanks
still at this museum. I think so
Think it's about time that Marie Kondo go to the British Museum and start to ask people.
does this bring you joy? Do you really need these?
shouldn't rocks. Do you really need this?
extension, very confronted by the whole Marie Kondo Movement, because, as someone who was brought up sort very strictly buddhist, if I pick up an object
and it brings me joy. I have to immediately renounce it anyway, so I got nothing less man.
emoji, the twenty nine,
teen official list of new emojis has emerged with a number of newly useful and expressive representations to add to the pantheon of tiny pictures people use when they can't find words to describe their feelings there on it.
Pretty themed, emojis, a drop of blood emoji, which is meant to offer women and new way to talk about menstruation, but can also be used to add graphic flair to death threats by all the tears of a tech.
Vampire a skunk
A parachutist in a waffle also joined the list, which I imagine will please smelly. Belgian skydive has no end.
I have also been informed through dozens of tweets that are new flamingo. Related emoji has also been added to the catalog and fine cool whatever now people don't even have to use words
they want to deliberately annoy me in a way that I'm supposed to interpret as affectionate and friendly banter. I guess that's the price of fame. My fave, you made moderate specific needs. Podcast guest host fame a k, a not fame am I am not a man I have to fight through such mixed feelings about
this whole flamingo thing. I regularly do my own quite serious podcast, in which I have Jenn,
conversations about complex issues with interesting people and every time I do a call out for questions I get a king, better odds is a lanky pink birds gangly around in a sold puddle somewhere with a cumbersome, bakes and pretentious and willingness to use more than one leg at a time. That's the House of Lords
I mean I'm disappointed that there were no penis or vagina emojis or
Having but Emoji. I think it's ridiculous 'cause, that's what the people want and as a result of them not providing that people are still forced to use eggplants and bananas and
each is and so forth. I cannot tell you the number of times I have gone to someone's home with an eggplant, because I misunderstood the message. I thought you needed an eggplant. I am not dressed for anything
other than providing you with an eggplant.
I'm, not wearing my special underwear, I'm not wearing cologne.
but now we have an eggplant,
so I knew Brexit related Emoji,
The expresses a sense of generational betrayal and another one that expresses a determination to stick to a decision even whilst knowing that decision is obviously in fundamentally flawed and also faced expressively, twitter, motions of panic and in action
emojis just quickly
all of the emojis on and off the emojis. It was an ancient roman emperor in the two hundred and sixty Zaidi, who finds the use of words I made ever communicate only by putting faces before he was slept.
Please most roman emperors were assassinated. He was assassinated, silently by his
very angry. Looking bodyguards. I love that fits in with my theory that
they are the Egyptians invented the internet with their obsession with cats and little pictures?
your emails now this comes from Craig, who writes
hi Andy Stroke, you Chris Stroke, statistically speaking, Alice.
Your next podcast
as long as I'm bugle listens will know right Craig, it's a long.
Running tradition to listen to
we'll find bulshit whilst undergoing minor medical procedures. Now, while this has been somewhat skewed historically towards vasectomies Craig continues, I will be having a small opi procedure, whatever that is
Now you can walk in and out.
on my shoulder on Tuesday and Social. Carry on this phone practice. I've selected a classic vehicle
So one hundred and ninety seven to listen to as my all time
with Johnny Showbiz recounting Bashar, Al Assad's purchase of LMFAO, I'm sexy, and I know it and the vision of him belting it out in his palace daunting in his pants and singing into a hair brush. I just hide out
laugh at the wrong moment and I hit a nerve and I used the lose. The use of my arm keep them.
Well, maybe that's another war injuries have you suffered, while Bic,
stop listening to the bugle. If you have any major or life threatening incidents than do email,
Clinton. Two hello buglers at the bugle podcast,
if it counts as an injury, but I certainly volunteered to be honored as a result of having listened to it,
and it's ruined my life well. My ear
just bleed. Every time Andy makes a pun said: that's kind of kind,
an injury to the lease with an emoji to express it. Now
That brings us to the end of this week's bugle. Alright, thanks very,
shows listeners to. I do
I will be in Charlottesville, VA on February 28th, that's right,
Charlottesville Virginia and, if I'm able to survive, I will do Atlanta, Georgia, the next day on March. First,
as George on March Second Ashley,
North Carolina March Third Northridge
California March 16th, with one w kamall bell.
and a bunch of other dates all over the country in the Spring Denver SALT Lake City, Burlington Arlington, VA.
In ten and so forth again, depending on what happens during that Charlottesville Show and all
informations on her, you dot com more realistically, just Google hurry comedian
probably up who are the Simpsons and you'll find Alice anything to plug.
Uh. Well. My show on the 17th at the Museum of Comedy in London is, I think, there's only about five tickets left
so listen to the trilogy with me on it, that's free and and come to the bugle shows in America, and otherwise
put my work. There you go, consider those careers plugged. My car is plugged in many ways like shot into a puddle.
Oh, we should have a quick update on Chris's injury before yes also did you know? Plugging is wait, never mind it's an internet right! Thank you Alex and Chris
yes, how how decrepit all you after your hip replacement. I could show you what this car looks like if you like, I mean
out for nobody of yellow suffering. I mean, maybe maybe show us the Scott and will react audibly a kite. What white one second in hip hip, Hooray news now Chris,
Limping is way in to show us. His bits isn't is fresh new hip Scala Chris is about to disrobe life.
We need an r for this episode haven't taken my trousers down on this show before so. You say, humans go first, ok, ok, let's have a look ouch.
It looks like a big slice in a person. Ok, now
I can't I can't see I can't see,
but I got nauseous as well. It
How is pretty gross, I mean to be honest, christian.
ignoring the obvious message God was sending, which was run around less that solve useless until next time. We'll have a full update on Chris is recovery from having his body active pieces by it.
Deranged, my mother in law, medical scrubs till next week. Goodbye,