Ok, so I'm going to require going on my morning run is six forty five, so period keys, mask phone route, I run, I run a lie. I run by myself. The morning our are, I find running to be actually quite meditative. And what I am thinking about, I'm usually I'm thinking about my day and recently, I'm taking a lot about the people we have come before me.

I'm thinking a lot about the lessons my grandparents taught me without actually saying anything. Namely that if, The people you love and I love black people- need something and you ve got it. You have to share it. From a New York Times. I'm might borrow. This is a daily today, as protests against police brutality enter their third month. Meaningful reform remains elusive. My colleague, Caitlin Dickerson spoke with one demonstrator about her journey to the front lines

and the lessons she's learned about, the pace of change. It's Wednesday August. So, let's jump then- and I think, started at the beginning would be great yeah. So my name is surrounded by CIA grew up in the Watts section of LOS Angeles and I was raised by my grandparents because my mother shortly with addiction and could not raise us and my father was incarcerated. So surrounded by is born in nineteen. Eighty four and she grows up in the care of her grandparents who move to LOS Angeles, both from the Louisiana during the great migration.

It's a household that is really cause steeped in the past steeped. In music model and father was a pretty big James. Round fan my grandfather's, Gloved SAM Cook and so themes around race, we're pretty present in the music they played there's a stamp cook song called last mile of the waves and gospel song, but the things that I remember talking to my grandfather, a bow was work and how the song talked about work and physical labour. As a sort of metaphor for kind of getting to Heaven and how just angry. He was about that being the only promise for safety and reward

we had as likely. What were you like as a kid I think it really depends on who you ask. I was always a really good student. I always earned really good grades. I was always at the top of my class. My grandparents said there were two things we We had to do in our house and that was going to school and go to church, but I always had sort of a knack. I guess you could say for a challenge. Authority always asking why about the things I see around me, and so I really credit my grandmother and you know her ending behind me and saying to me like. If you have questions, you should ask them and if a person

an authority tries to sort of you know, pushed back or squash that in you I got her back in that matter to me tremendously, as a young person, I think that she wished tat. She had asked why. More. I think she realised that she likely would have made a different set of decisions. Had she questioned what was expected of a poor black all born in nineteen. Thirty, two in New Orleans Sean is very close to her Mother and her grandmother works hard, basically tissue. Sharon's into this young woman who knows Her history, under stands what her families been through, what her ancestors have been through and also to feel free to build the life that she want

my grandmother, told me that I only have to do two things in this life and that stay blackened die, and then it was my life and it was mine to live. As I chose her saying, stay blackened dies saying those two things are going to happen in anything else. It is really up to you right correct. So how do these teachings inform shrunk? In view of this neighbourhood around her watch you, she remembers a community with a lot of police, but not a whole lot of protection. This is sort of the height of the war on drugs and the war against gangs. So I see police everywhere, and yet there are regular inconsistent

Dr. By shootings, I see police pulling people over. I see men thrown up against walls, mostly those are the images that stick with me and still, I know people whose homes have been wronged, and so I'm like the police are everywhere and yet the crime that harms us still happens. How is that

Her grandparents taught her very early on basically that the police were not her friends and the message that she got was actually that her grandparents were there to protect her from the police. So as a kid she internalize as this message of caution and it comes out in interactions with the police, but that's not the only way. It comes out, for example, one Sunday after church she's walking with her grandmother to this meat market that they used to go to all the time because it was kind of on the other side of town, but it was near their church, so they would always stop there on the way home and her grandmother would be humming. The music

That they had heard and church that day, but she was at the meat counter and I sort of wandered off as kids do, and I remember a man had like come from behind the meat counter to say to me, like you, better, go back with your mom and there was something about his tone than immediately sort of shifted. When I said that's, not my mom, he was not expecting like a kid to talk back to him number one, and I think especially, not a black kid to talk back to him and it's very clear that he's upset about this whole situation. There just this tension that makes her a little nervous and I could tell ass. We walked away that my grandmother actual was a little shaken by it I didn't know why I didn't have the language to say

Why? But I never wandered off again. That day, eventually makes a lot more sense to surrender a few years later, because of something that happens and her community was killed over a bottle of orange over a bottle of orange, to store owners job do thought. Fifteen year old, Latasha Harlin's was going to steal some orange juice. Hirelings Ireland Strong, is a fifteen year old teenager reduce them in ninety ninety one when she walks into a grocery store and South Ass Angeles, and she picks up a bottle of orange juice, worth a doll. Seventy, nine cents and people. We're in the store say that Latasha puts the orange juice and urban pack and she has two dollars in her hand and she's walk Toward the counter, when.

A store owner, grabs, Latasha, sweater, Latasha hunters are in the face and she put the orange juice on the counter, and she had, for the door. And the store owner picks up a handgun and shoots her in the back of the head, killing her instantly order. What happened the store on are accused of Ireland's stealing the. Who's. There was a confrontation. She sees why her grandmother was so nervous for her that day, in the store within it was an injustice. Justice has not been observed. This later, Carmike my thinking your granddaughter and should get away with five years, probation. Why It's right around this time that a video

Services in LOS Angeles outrage, grows over a videotape of police beating an unarmed motors robbing king being brutally beaten by police involving white police officers. Eating a man they had just pulled over amateur I'm a member quarter that all the incident really takes over LOS Angeles. It takes over Watts where Shariah lives that our work for reason her grandparents had tvs and almost every room in the house and were glaring. Today on nine Oliver. I had to come here and let my boy: where are these people I remember you know my grandparents hosted a regular spades game re where my aunts and uncles and cousins would come by, and I remember just hearing at the card table conversations about in debates about you know what they thought would happen, who they thought would actually be convicted

of anything one of my uncle's. I remember just he. He was fiery, but in this moment he just Lord of was like man. We knowing nothing happened like we might just play cards and magic did not make sense to me, and I did not understand why my uncle thought that because my seven year old brain was like they did something wrong: they will be punished Ray and my seven year old brain didn't understand that. That's not how things work here.

But he knew something that she didn't couldn't possibly given her age. He understood a kind of different form of gravity in the universe. That's a good way of putting it. There was a different force like gravity, something else that she hadn't learned about in school. She wasn't familiar with yet, but that was going to impact this trajectory or natural order of things that she had been talk so far in her life. Can Europe by progress that our work, but then there are the way one watch do not everyone's mine is. How did this jury see? The same video take the world saw and reached the conclusion that no crime with being committee then up that depend on the magnet dumping.

In that respect? We are broadly king peered. We are you when they love, we all across the hall fears and then I remember going back to church. Going back to school and just not talking about it?. But all around me, I could see the burned buildings right, like the pet boys. Wasn't there and more ray the supermarket? Wasn't there anymore, And we just didn't talk about it, so Rhonda and her family go back to normal kind of as if nothing ever happened until

a few years later, when their whole lives or abandon. So I'm thirteen and I come home after my baby sitting job. It's about nine o clock right, not to wait and I have a late dinner by myself, my group there is in her room, you know, probably watching either in the heat of the night or man. And we chat for a little bit, I say good night, I love you. I give her a kiss right. I had to bed and in the middle of the night I wake up, because my grandfather is screaming my name and saying call nine one. One call nine one one and my grandmother is having a heart attack. Her grandmother is taken to Martin Luther King Hospital. It's a public house RO and its known and the community is killer. King known for not providing good care

and when the doktor, a white man walked in my sister and I just started wailing We knew that doctors didn't make time for you unless things were really bad and we just sort of new And four surrender she's really taking note of the conversations around her. We have a funeral and and people are at the house- and you know os and uncles and church members come by, and he know you here over and over again well why they take her to king r o Lord. She went to king and their wishes. This sense that you know, maybe things could have been different if she had gone somewhere else and you just you'll, never know, and so she becomes

Huey Angry kid. I was pretty angry at God when my grandmother died. I felt like I have been dealt a pretty shorthand already on the parent front parents who struggled with addiction, a father who was incarcerated, a mother who was absent for most of my life and then to take the only mother I had ever known at thirteen. I just I don't know what kind of God would do that

so I enter high school just mad at the worlds and mad at authority. In particular, she gets a lot of fights alot of fights, but there are a couple of teachers who she gets along with really well who seem to understand what she's going through see it for what it is and the pretty determine to help her through it. So there's one teacher in particular her english teacher, MRS Campbell and she says to surrender YO. You could really do something with all this anger that you're feeling enshrined as I remain. I thought initially that my teachers were going to have me. Do something whack like a petition dry for joint student government, and I had no interest in doing that.

And MRS Campbell says you can protest, you can try to change these things that you don't think are fair. You can become an activist, and what does she want to make about? It really resonates with her and she decides to participate in a school walk out for the first time and its one, that's being organised, because some of her peers were upset that they were attending school called George Washington High that was named after slave owner and on the day of the walk out, she remembers pausing before she reached the doors of the school looking around

and I remember a security guard standing at the gates and saying if you walk out we're gonna report, your name to the front office, and she just takes this deep breath like. By doing this, if I had to call my grandfather and say Grandpa, I'm at the police station because I walked out of school. I I I couldn't imagine having to do that and then exhales and decides she's doing this. I gonna walk out better, so. She blows passed a security guard out the doors she remembers, feeling no, the fresh air on her skin and just feeling a release-

a release that feels productive- I I was setting out to prove to myself and to others that as the kid saying, I was about this life right that I could work up the courage to stand up to sorting in a way that could result in real consequences. For me, it's my life and I get to do What I want you know, Sharon has been tied from childhood that there are to inevitable realities and life and the rest is really up to her, and this is the first moment of her starting to feel you're out. What does she want to do in between as you can imagine that that

Sometimes I was gonna decide against my grandfather's wishes to walk out of school. He wasn't always thrilled about that. But yeah I was very clear that I got to do what I wanted. Once she figures that out the net, few years really kind of HOLLAND of Place for sure Rhonda. So she continues to participate in protest over and not just the name. For school, but the amount of funding that it gets from the city, the very low graduation rates that it has and now evolve naturally into her after graduating college. Deciding to be A teacher or self to try to address some of these and equity is that she saw when she was growing up, welcome the

and around the same time, Barack Obama campaigns for president, which is this really kind of electric moment for young black fashion. So for the first time in a long, you had an entire generation of young people and young professionals who were just out of college in their first jobs and got picked up by the Obama Machine and she when two years for the camp and she needs a lot of other. Like minded organizers, your young, your black here, No, you just kind of know. Each other We can finish the work that needs to be done and usher in a new birth of freedom on the thank you very much and then

happens that really changes the trajectory of Surrounders life. Actually, two things happen that change the trajectory of worship headed she's living in New York, city working, an area, Haitian. When. Trade on Martin is killed in Florida. And so we began to show up to marches and we began to show up to protest, and I think one of the things that is beautiful about this particular moment is that there is this that any one of us can put out a call to action and some one will show up and that idea begins to gain time. Action over the next year until August. Ninth, two thousand for change you, the police. What are they sang, right now about. What's happened to your site, there enemy anything Amazon, winning

Michael Brown Junior, whose eighteen years old is fatally shot by a white paper. Officer in Ferguson Missouri I'm so sorry, lamb industry, where I'm so sorry and then interrupts violence. Rape Four hours last night, at least to people in a crowd of protesters were shot and all of this sort of just hours after National Guard troops arrived in community their outrage after the fatal shooting We need justice. Why son? We need justice for our son, It becomes sure round is focus and life? What she was to try to change

and so she just gets on that train and starts to become a part of the movie. There's sort of an activist railroad. There are bus loads of people who go from New York, Ray so we start raising money for that there is a need for supplies to Ferguson, so we start raising money for that there is the yeah she's got a job in ninety five job in New York, but she starts to dedicate all extra time through these issues are weak. Funds are spent on the phone with me who were on the ground in Ferguson and in other cities where protests are breaking out actually reconnects with people. She during present. Bombers. Two thousand eight campaign: ok, what are you guys working on? What should we be working on? You know: what are your police allowed to do what's in their contract, that shouldn't be an hour's? What's the difference between a chokehold a stranglehold. How do we talk about that? So we

start building these networks in these friendships that help us share information that help us strategy eyes. They don't really want to push for change with then govern and within a system that day fundamentally think is broken. I just started, don't believe in you or you are or year to support us. You are those we have seen you watch it I'll just say we're see you we will really goes got, so we don't want to hear you say Louis. We are to resolve your brother. This is real. We don't want to hear you not a leader will not only we were grass roots pretty leaderless, dispersed network of people guided by a sort of nor star rate, which was hashtag black lives.

We'll do it back. Hi, I'm Kristen minds are, and I'm the co host of innovation uncovered a new podcast the world changing in real time, often in ways we don't notice an can't, protect innovation. And covered explores the breakthroughs that our driving our culture. Now from how we play What we consume to how we can act, learn more, What the ideas that are reshaping our reality in extraordinary way as enemies, uncovered is upon cast from invest, go cute. You too, and t brand at the New York Times, listened today in basque or distributors ink. This is John illegal. I'm a national corresponded with the New York Times and cover it the rates, but I'm really getting at is telling the story these of marginalized people whose experience

These are often unheard and unseen, and in order to tell their stories I really have meet them where they are going to protest, where there's police fire and tear gas and rubber bullets of people fighting for racial justice, I'm often brought into unpredict situations situations where you dont know if the police were gonna, see you as a protest yourself, but that's really what it takes to tell these stories, and if this can work is important you can. I would ask you to support us by subscribing to the New York Times. You can do that at an why times that come flash subscribe. What are these organisers hoping to achieve by not raising up a singular figure by being kind of leaderless.

What's wrong, says is that you know at this point in her life. She is feeling really suspicious of hierarchy of any kind of concentration of power that disenfranchise is people below, but because They choose to avoid establishing leaders, it's really confusing and a turn off to a lot of the country who don't feel like they hear a clear message coming from one person and who are also noticing that some protests have turned violent and are really uncomfortable with that, There's a way in which this movement becomes really big, but the support for it across the country also kind of

the ceiling as fastening. The movement is suspicious of leaders and some of the public is suspicious of a movement without a exactly and then I knew that the killing of Alton and sterling was going to be another flashpoint and move man, Alton Sterling is killed by police and batten. Larouche he's the man who is sitting outside a grocery store and selling cds when someone called the police about a person who had a gun and the officers who respond to the call and up killing him. So when that happens again, activists from all over the country get in their cars and start heading tibetan Rouge in a lot of them are surround us friends. A couple of my friends from Ferguson You know we get on a call because we always get on a car and we're like well. What are we going to do and there like we're going

drive down to ban rush, and I remember that they took a nap before You know they decided that they were going to make the last few hours drive. And I remember being terrified at sending them off, to drive for the next. You know four hours through. Mississippi. An end to Louisiana Right, a state whose history I knew well, because I have learned from our grandparents so that Fear Sharon says, is in the groundwater, in Louisiana, which eggs going there to protest, an entirely different experience and a very scary one for her but at the same time it feels really important and she just kind of feels like

If I'm gonna commit myself to this movement ban, you know this is in a way exactly where I need to be a need to be in uncomfortable places, exactly and so the next day she packs up her car. She heads to meet her friends in batteries. And what happens when she gets to members soon, as the sun sets, the police show up in right gear and just sort of they block the street, and you end up in these confrontation. And with the batteries police department that almost immediately feel like. You have no plans to. Let me peacefully protest, you know the local law enforcement makes clear that they are not happy about people being industry,

it's in there are a series of very tense and offs, and a lot of arrests, including one of fraud, is close friends to re moccasin, who basically gets tackled and Konrad away in handcuffs just as their walk into their car But that, for us was a reminder of How dangerous this work is right that, even if you are not physically positioning yourself as the leader, any one of us can can be arrested, re at any time, and sometimes that's the best case scenario. And I remember you know checking in with my. Self and asking like: are you courageous enough to do this and I think that doing that in high school. I go back to that that moment a wide and often when I am

testing and when I M, showing up I'm showing up for that girl. So at this point, in its two years, under the movement and the country is really paying attention. President is paying attention and the twenty six you election is right around the corner. So we were all gearing up to fight Hillary Clinton. We were all gearing up to say we want to build on momentum that we, the oats and then we,

got trump. Thank you. Thank you very much, and as soon as he takes office, he is it's. The entire progressive policy platform is under siege over of protest against president trumps controversial the executive order. A new initiative that with separate children from their parents

they try to enter the United States illegal with how testers storming major cities all across the country out waged after the Trump administration, announced its rescinding Dhaka, giving Congress I'm next they're calling us the largest youth, led protesters, the Vietnam WAR era. But these young activists are taking a stand in a country that is deeply divided over. We have to cover the issues, seemed so much bigger and of so much greater immediate importance, and I don't even know how I can bring myself to say that, knowing that the issues we were organizing around were literally issues of life and death by, we start to see the dehumanizing of entire communities,

and policing just sort of got bogged down the list of priorities, and some folks show up with black lives matter gear or their signs. But there is this is that it had become one of many sets of demands. This idea of black lives matter really fades into the background, and we just we didn't talk about it. Huh, you know the interesting thing is you would ask me earlier what it felt like post, ninety two and that's what it felt like, One day it was my entire worlds and the next day no one talked about it. It did, I feel, like a failure, when all the momentum disappeared and fell flat.

In our quiet moments. Some of us reflect on the trauma we experienced, Some of us reflect on the sacrifices we may write to jobs, to credit scores to savings accounts And we do ask ourselves if it was worth it. Do you have any regrets from that time? Will you do anything differently? That's a really hard! caution to answer? I wish we had done a better job of talking about the importance of both inside the system, activism and outside the system. Act.

And by that I mean it, took us a couple of years to get to the point where many of us felt we could do things like run for office and not feel like sellouts not feel like our only credibility came from being in the streets, and I wish we had gotten their sooner. I think we could have helped usher in a new wave of leadership much earlier. Could have pushed to have our people and places of real decision making power, and- Ay wish. I hadn't been naive and. I wish that I had been just

a little more realistic about how long change actually takes. I will say I didn't think we'd be back here this You ve been here before so. Is there anything right now that you're afraid of. I'm afraid of my country and my countrymen, breaking my heart again I am afraid that we are going to take very shallow,

and superficial signals of ally ship as a sign of real change, and I dont know if we have done the work of helping people. Imagine what the future can look wake and I think that's the next phase of the work. We have gotten people to a point where they know that something has to fundamentally change that we can no longer tinker around the agents, but I dont know if we ve helped them imagine what we have to build in its place. Are you hopeful now that change is coming and my hope for now that change is coming,

I have to me if I was not hopeful that change was coming. I would not be in the streets if I was not hope for that change was coming. There would be no point in having this conversation. Hope is really important in this work, and you have to hope that, tomorrow can be better than today, otherwise, it may showing up impossible. Oh, this is I wonder what sure on us thinks her grandmother would make of the decisions that she has made and of the life, and she is now leading in the rules she's playing in this move. She does think back about her grand.

There a lot, and she wonders if this is the life a mother and vision for her. Is there something you would you would ask her if you could? Even if I could ask my grandmother or something what would I ask her, you know given my grandmother's personality, I think I would say or ask her if she knew it would turn out like this. For me,. My hunch is she probably hoped it did. I could have chosen

To do anything other than this, but my since, in my grandmother, probably knew that I was always going to be this person. I would want to ask for that the process that has most covering others do we have used the windows, Not as big as a cup. Years ago, not as being of some other daytime marshes, retaliation, but definitely bigger than they have been in a long while in order to believe that you will be complete,

I find you have to talk to yourself the whole way you have to encourage yourself. You have it I'll yourself. The finish line is close, because that is the only way that make it through life.

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