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From Europe's. This is the moth radio, our eye, MEG Bulls and, in this hour, will hear for stories to live on stage. Moth events around the: U S, true stories, told without notes about real, sometimes surprising events. If twenty twenty taught us anything, it's that life as we know it can change on a dime. The stories in this hour all deal with moments that caught people off guard? some moments are a test of will, while others throw a person's life completely off course. Our first story, teller, is airing pan the shared his story at a main stage, presented by W Gb H in Boston from the Wilbur theatre. Here's Aaron Pang lie that the more so

I'm commuting home from work and when I walk into Barge San Francisco, whose subway a system I am instantly annoyed, because walk with a keen and, Where leg braces- and I notice that the elevators and escalators or out of service, which means that After sitting on my body in my office for eight hours, I have to start of my commute by walking down three flights of stairs down to the platform. and there's nothing. I can do that's the only options. I walk up to the mouth of the stairwell and I take a deep breath. Pull my hands on the inevitably sticky hand, rail and I begin my descent whenever I am walking downstairs, I had still relatively focused, have to state focus. And so I dont notice immediately but about seven or eight steps down. I realise that nobody is passing me even though its commute hours,

and are so many people in the station and stairwells actually wide enough for two people to walk side by side, and, I pause and I turn around and I see all of these people behind me. Walking have my pace and this woman, at the front. She looks to me and she gives me this law fist pumping sheep winked since she says honey. You got this And I realized there not passing me because they're trying to be considering they're trying to give me space, but what they dont realises, that their consideration is causing this huge back up up the stairwell, a back up that people could blame on me, and When I can. You feel the pressure building on the back of my neck as more and more people into the station I can, feel like now. I'm the only one standing between their day of corporate office work and their night of precious precious netflix.

but I don't see anything. I don't see any because I want to be considerate of their consideration, and so we keep walking, but about halfway down. I fear this December, voice at the top of the stairs and man, This obviously had a very long day and he just yells oh, my god, walk faster I would love to But everyone around me and my close facility freezes in this thick. Witness, as if they're offended for me and that woman she puts a hand on my shoulder, gives it a little tight squeezing she says ignore him. Take all the time that you mean I turned to her with a smile on my face and I say, but you guys know you can pass right. There's plenty of space I'll be fine, and she goes dear that

So considerate of you, but you don't need to worry about Us- definitely should not worry about him. He is being such an ass. You you just do whatever is most comfortable for you. and that's when I snap at her- and I say yeah you guys passing. That is what most comfortable she's stunned into silence. But without another word she conceding she moves path and people are true impasse and I can feel that pressure on the back of my neck is a little bit and I keep walking and I finally get down to the flag of the platform. on flat ground. I am able to ease into a mode of walking that requires lawless thought I'm still at the mouth of the stairwell, so I tried a house on the way to let people pass and, as I take a step, my left leg mid swing catches. My right like in suddenly my bodies moving forward with nothing underneath it. I tried to execute an emergency maneuver. I tried a hop on my right like replace my came to catch my fault, but as

all learn in physics, Class Isaac, Newton Bitch and therefore my body is a body emotion crash into the ground, see I be indifferently able about seven eight years ago, when I- under one a series of surgeries to remove this, but ninety. from my spinal column ever Surgery has its risks and my risks manifested after twenty hours in the operating room. I woke up in hospital bed unable to walk for two months. I stayed in the hospital bed learning to walk for the second time in my life, but after two months. I walked out about hospital but now I do so with a cane and braces and a limp. and every year we would go in check ups, my mom would always asked the same question. She would ask, isn't there anything you can do for him to fix him any special treatment. We can try

and the doctors always provide some version of the same answer. They say: errands recovery has been miraculous. He has a full time job. He lives by himself. Even travels he's independent and that's much more than we can ask for, and the doctors are I am independent, but things like having a full time job or even graduating college on time didn't really test. Your independent I was not on the day to day basis, like just a casual grind of mourning, commute on the subway can. but despite all my criticism of part parts actually pretty great, because every train car reserved seeding for people like me. and these accessible seats. Allow me to play this game is game. I liked it. Or accessibility ability, seeding chicken, like this one time I walk in, Car with a very pregnant women and an old man, and

In there only two seats for the three of us. And so, in the ten seconds between us getting on the train and the train, starting to move, we have to decide who sits. This becomes a game of will see Who is the most stubbornly polite and there is oh no, you said no, you said no, you said what your pregnant, but your old, but your handy And there's a lot of the like polite shoving and as all of this is happening, all of the able bodied people in on designated seeds ignore us when the dust settles the woman in them. Old man are seated and I'm the last man standing I am the last man standing because I am the youngest and I look the strongest and to be

perfectly honest. He liked to win. and so I take my spot next to one of the railings are you can hold onto and I'm back skiing in my victory, satisfied in my ability to help somebody else out in need- and that- and the train starts with a jeweled. I lose my balance and I fall into a business man in a suit And finally, somebody stands to. Let me sit see him public, it's a weird balancing act, balancing what people how people perceive me how I perceive myself what I'm actually capable of. because, on the other side of that coin, sometimes people don't even notice that I need help. Like on a different commute. I'm seeded. They are one of the accessible seeds to me as an able bodied woman in the other accessible seed, and we stop. The train doors open and this woman and her late fifties comes in. She should just be lines towards me. She gets right

my face and she says, excuse me, can you please stand? I have a bad back and I need to sit, and I point my cane, but before I can say anything the woman next me stands in this lady too. her seat and for the next fifteen minutes, I can feel hurt handling this self righteous anger. She's furiously scrolling on her phone, giving me the sting guy. but about one stop before I get off. She too to me she goes, you know you were supposed to stand for me right these It's our reserve for people who need it and then she It's her phone, which has the bark website on it with the rules of priority seeding. and without a word I just point to my cane and then we done my pants leg to show her my braces cause, every once in a while in public, it's nice to have two forms of cripple credentials. Instantly, the hot air. Just

fleets out of her and she begins apologizing profusely- increases I'm so sorry she's. She begins telling me her whole life story about, or injury and accurately. and she said something that I always remember She says. I know I might not look like I needed, but these seeds are really helpful and I couldn't agree more sitting on. The subway is great. And sometimes people don't know that I need those seats and that's completely ok, because other times people can help but notice my disability when I end up walking down three flights of stairs and ended up tripping in just Our fishing on a really crowded platform. I'm lying there, and I can hear the train that I was supposed to be on pull out at the station my leg feel like electrified shallow, and I am only able to on all fours. Somebody who reminds me of my mom comes up, to me and offers to help

how a word I put on my army. She takes it and when try to stand. She doesn't realise I'm about to put all of my weight on her and so she's not ready, and when I do, she loses or grip and I'm about to fall again except. This time, there's a man behind me. He puts to arms undermine and he puts me on my feet. I don't, give this man permission to pick me up let alone even touch me, but it's like this, you kind of, have to swallow. Your pry. and so they walk me over, to one of the benches and they offer to sit with me into my train comes but I say: oh, it's totally fine, this happens all the time I'm just a little shaken up and David back into their lives. And as I'm sitting there, I'm just furious. I can feel the other we'll just taking sideways glances at me. I am furious,

because for the last seven years, I've done so much physical therapy to get to where I am now. But in those same seven years Also watched a stupidly large amount of tv currently all my fifth relaunch of the West Wing, that's fine! Hundred and seventy seven hours of television that I could have better, spent on my legs and so I always think about this concept that journalists, Malcolm Gladwell popularized this idea that it takes ten thousand hours to become an expert at anything and so when it comes to my legs, I wonder if I just don't, have the towering or if I'm not dedicated enough I wonder if my disability is severe enough for me too. did or five strong enough to stand. I wonder it is ok to get drinks with friends after work, or should I go to physical therapy appointment.

And ass, all of these thoughts are tumbling through my mind, a couple of more trains pass when I, finally feel up to it. I get on one and I go home, get to my apartment. I make dinner a tv show and as the night Progress is. I feel that pain in my knee dull and those thoughts begin to fade. I'm getting ready for bed. I brush my teeth, and I stress lot and as I get into bed, I grab my phone to set at eight a m alarm so that I can catch the forty five train. Erin paying is a software engineer and lives in Oakland California, air and told me that, since telling the story he started driving to work, part of him loved commuting surviving the grind made him feel independent. The

Anything he really, MRS, is the people watching Erin had a chance to share his story, live onstage several times with the moss, including in front of a hometown audience in San Francisco. He actually invited his entire medical team to the show the surgeons nurses, physical therapists, who worked with him over the course of his treatment and recovery, and he said it felt really good to be able to give them a glimpse into an experience. They were part of Erin still constantly worries about what more he could be doing in any He told me conditional degrade and odds are at some point, my life. I won't be able to walk anymore now the work it becomes finding long term sustainable solutions. For me, the lived the life I want to live

it's less looking to return to the past and more. How will I live in the future? By the way I asked Aaron, which West Wing episode was his favorite and he said there are too many but too These rules is a universally beloved one and I do love the episode. The supreme I first met Erin when he called our moth pitch line and left a two minute pitch that caught my ear the pitch led to me, calling him and then his taking the stage to tell the story, and now are sharing the story with you If you have a story like us to consider, you can go to a website and look for tell a story will also find advice for how to craft her pitch or you can call us eight, seven, seven, seven, nine, nine MOSS, that's eights In seven, seven, nine, nine, six, six eight for pitches their developed for shows all around the world.

coming up a romantic night out at the Neville Island roller drown when the moth radio, our continues North radio hours produced by atlantic public Media Woods whole hole Massachusetts and presented by prx exe.

Stock about what is professional today on linked in important conversations, are happening around what it means to be a professional right now linked in members, are talking about things like needing more flexibility around where we work, how we work and even taking time away from work to focus on family or mental health, because those things should not stunt career development and growth. Instead, they should enhance it, as we show up on our own terms, members or even pudding, with most important to them in their job titles. With things like podcast host, Slash activist, Slash mom, I know I'm gonna update my linked in to say, executive producer, Slash story, director and writer. Slash aunt, Slash, hiker, an avid traveller professional is ours to define and our authentic self is our professional self. So, if your linked in doesn't reflect who you really are update your job title post, your truth show the world the authentic professional you enjoying the conversations redefining professional, I'm linked in linked in welcome professionals, the model,

brought to you by progressive You tried the name, your price tool, yet it works just The way it sounds. You tell progressive how much you want to pay for car insurance and male show you coverage options that fit your budget. It's easy to start. quote and you'll be able to find a rate that works, for you is just one of the many ways you can save with progressive get your quote today at progressive duh. Tom and see why four out of five new auto customers recommend progressive, progressive, casualty, insurance company and affiliates pricing, average match limited by state law This is the moth radio, our from pr acts. I MEG bulls. It's often said that how you act in the face of something you can't control can determine the outcome of this situation. Are next from Joel Brady- is a fine example of just that. He shares

and our story. Slam series that happens once a month in partnership with the USA in Pittsburgh. Here's Joe Brady lived the Rex last year. My my way Peggy, and I went on a roller skating date at the adults gate at the EU level, island roller Jerome, and if you ve never been the adults skate. It's like this kind of alternate universe. It's all these people who are really good escaping in the seventies and eighties are still really get a getting and they still have all their Adidas track suits and their light up skates, and it's it's really and then there's also dislike wonderful sense of community there, and pegging. I wouldn't know anybody there, but we were just taken in the night and we would like this great, I'm we're not It is those people and really skating But I I have a signature, rulest getting move and this move and involves me sitting down like on my haunches on move on.

Once gate and then a kick. The other skate leg out directly in front of me like and if I get going fast enough and doing a full rotation around the ring like that And done I was doing I like all night, you know and paying, I'd like to starting a tired of it are nowhere near closed, even getting tired of doing that and so in other night goes on and on This is why the night on hot stepper was on. You know like that hot stepper, Iraq now and which a terrible song, but no one roller dramas, legs vortex, where we saw you hated in high school, sounds amazing. so those songs on I'm getting into my signature, move get a real fast in front a petty organizational user. I come around me. I cut off like anyway I'm getting into my signature most ice Gabriel fast, get down into my move and

then, all of a sudden, I feel her hands on my back. She had caught me surprise, because unemotion cascade, if ass, she caught me and now she's pushing me really fast around. Around the region and thrown off, because it's pretty hard actually to balanced like there and now other variable in my physics and it's just as a problem. But then I settled down and those like no, we gotta see. No, so we're going around in, unlike cookies, exodus works, and then I just then I ll go and I just like myself over to her, and I almost Just involuntarily put both my arms out. and it was so liberating and the best way, it describes like. I feel, like a rose on the titanic. Like I'm, proud, satanic, you like wind and my hair, and it was also this incredibly intimate moment too like we, so we started dating. We were sixteen and I can really-

first time that I kissed the spot next to her, I she's indentation or bone structure and kissed her there. intimate moment. We remember it and I at this moment at the Neverland roller drone was gonna, be there that kind of moment and No we're in people are looking. I don't care and with my wife like me, now put it in and then, where the at this moment- and I see fifteen feet ahead of me. Thus by is Peggy He's got is very confused expression on her face. And I am also feeling very confused. Because I can still feel her hands on my back. It's kind of Jones position, but I do like a quick over the shoulder.

And it's just some random guy It's not at all this woman, I've known intimately for over two decades, its as this do that I've never seen before in my life, he's got his big goofy grin on his face and he's done too hot stepper. Like he's having the time of his life. because that moment that I've been having ornament telling about he's also having that moment, except that his experience that moment, I think, is Luba different mine. For starters, he's the one pushing as this. For starters, suddenly. He's known all along, Just some random guys have his Mama way. That's not information had access to Then I'm ok, re, calibrating, recalibrate, ing, Expressions make more sense now.

The size of the hands. I don't think I know what our next steps here. Because we're still flying around the rollers Rome and leave the Caprio back there doesn't look, one moment anytime soon and these there. Why would he I've been? In every indication that I'm really enjoying his company really enjoying his company. And then a we know. There are no next steps here, because, with hot stepper blast and like I can't community furthermore, my shoulder- and ever tried to extricate itself from the specific physical situation sitting on one roll escaped. The other skating on find you in some dude pushing your hundred breakneck speed. Just take my word, for it can't be done: it's not legally possible without total carnage. And then I thought you know what I might as well enjoy it

my wife and I thought life partner The back of my shoulder that guy in a thought, skating partner, and I put both an arms out again and it felt incredible, and we did like ten more lapse like that. That was Joe Brady. He and his wife Peggy have four children Joel is, professor of religious studies at the University of Pittsburgh and an avid climber. He says he and Peggy dont scape much at all, any more and ass. For that mystery skater, he wrote the light touch me which he initially caught me was matched only by the gentleness with which he released me only. Skate off and vanish into the crowd.

I have sometimes wondered if he was an angel, you can see a picture of Joel and his wife pegging on that fateful night at the Nebula island roller drone on our website, the moth dot org. Sadly, he doesn't have a picture of his signature move, but if you, Google, roller skating and shoot the duck, you'll get the idea that our next storyteller Michel Robertson, also the stage at one of our monthly open, my story slams, but this time, I'm in Detroit Michigan, where we partner with local radio station WMD. Here's Michel Robertson live at the mall. The oldest for girls in my family, my first sister was born just before my second birthday and then my other two sisters are ten and fourteen years younger, so the majority in my town, where you have a most of my memories, are just me and my dad and Rebecca and my mom,

my mom and dad or two totally different people. My mom's super shy and very straight lace like never did anything wrong. She did it smoke Drink or swear or gamble, or anything like that and my dad grew up on the rodeo end like love, drinking beer and smoke and some we in whatever else you get his hands on say nothing and comics ever as parents. They have is one thing, and that was it. Neither one of them really had any issues with plain favorites. So Rebecca was my mouse. They read and I was quite ass. They read and if my mom went anywhere Rebecca was going to be with her and my dad take me with him. So Rebecca got to go to the grocery store in the bank

and I got to go to the party sword by beer, and so my aunt and uncle houses every single weekend, where my dad would hang out with his brothers and sisters and they drink beer and smoke whatever and play cards. And me and all my cousins is huge, extended family. We ride horses or do whatever we want. Nobody was watching us and we both individually, how these really great childhoods Rebecca. I that my parents, in creating this kind of division of a family created, is huge animosity, so it wasn't like normal sibling rivalry. There were no like of tenderness. We didn't do each other's hair make up or talk about boiling. We didn't we hated each other. Hated legit hated each other and She was really like when I think about competition. She was mine, fiercest opponent, for all my life, as we are constantly trying to outdo one another, improve that we were loved It continue that way. Once we

No doubt we both moved out. Myriad had our own families to me. I had grown up with this big extended family, and so it is important to me that my kids knew their cousins. It just was like an unfortunate circumstances, they were backers, kids, but it was really love. I dont know our call me like every man ass may tell her for dinner and I say yeah: can you have mom how back on ask Rebecca to bring the kids over and she would so we ask my time: will back going out my mom in the house, and you might have liked The fighting in light of fireworks for no reason right boilers, it's all the kids with us and then my two younger sisters grew up and moved out. My parents are just kind of with each other and they realized realized. Think with everybody else, knew it didn't have anything in common and I think well, my

my mom how I got tired of my drinking all the time and my dad probably just got tireless and my mom bitch about him drink and all the time so my mom moved out, but she's still came over weakens and then she moved back in those fine and then she move back out and she didn't more rarely guns anymore and- Rebecca Camorra weakens anymore, and within this really quick couple of months, my entire dysfunctional family kind of starting to fall apart and What is really a short time like a couple months later I will never forget. I was at home. I was working from home that day and I'm sitting on my bed and my laptop and papers in my phone rings. And if you get up- and it says Karen Slash MA, That's my mom. She never ever called me, and so I panicked cause. I thought someone was. It happened in my dad for my mom's commie Answer the phone I'm a little panicked, but she was heartily fine and she like well, that's over. That's final as the lights final and she said the divorce, and I said what-

worse and she said we swinging your dad like there's. No there's no divorce between you and dad will know there was its violent leaving the court right now. So when I asked questions. But I couldn't, I felt, like my eyes, get hot, A lumber micro enterprises that ok thanks, but I mean working Emily busy. I gotta go ass. I hung up the phone and I cried so hard and so ugly like for such a long time and I wanted to call ran like I wanted to talk to someone, but I couldn't because they would what was wrong and I would say my parents divorces, final nail, environs we're getting divorced, and I say we I mean either and I was gonna- be super weird: and I was really mad at myself, because really the only person in the world that I wanted to talk to you was Rebecca, but it could it. I actually didn't even over had her phone number but I did after a long time I looked and I did- and I eventually worked at the courage to call her. I thought it was gonna, be weird subito.

I made a little bit weird cuz. She said hey and I said if this is Michelle, I'm your sister and she was like. I know who you are, and so I made it a little weird, but then I have you talked to mom and she said in her really like Rebecca like way have I sought to bomb attacks. Momo time calls me every day Ok, ok, I didn't know so so you know that I didn't know, and she said you know what I know why it's like. It's fine on said there what's final the divorce and she said what divorce. And I saw between mom and dad in she didn't say anything and then I heard her crying. and then I started writing all over again and then the cried together. For this really really a long time. We sit on the phone for hours, talking and crying and talking about about our parents and

figuring out how we're going to tell tell our sisters and how we organise our kids and how important it was to both of us that our kids, Contacting we talk. We cried until there is just. nothing laughed, and we just sat there for ever on the phone and silence until She sat in her really Rebecca like way like why would mom call you instead of me and mom always calls me, and for the first time in in thirty five years I was able to just laugh cuz. I just didn't. Care anymore, because I realized that their didn't have to be a competition and she wasn't my opponent and for the first time I was just talking to my MR.

That was Michel Roberts life through another curveball. When Michel's father was diagnosed with cancer shortly after the divorce and she moved him in with her and her family. She told in an email. My sister Rebecca is a nurse and was so so helpful. During that time we became super close while caring for him until he passed away,

She is now one of my best friends. I seriously dont know what I would do without her. Our kids still see each other. We all spend a lot of time together and sometimes my mom venture. She first told this story back and twenty seventeen and she said that listening back to it again after so long made her think how grateful she is that things have changed. She said I genuinely love my sister and still can't believe we spent so many years trying to outdo each other. You can see a picture of Michel, her mother and her sister, Rebecca on our website. Them off daughter were coming up, surviving the unthinkable when them off video our consent from all through two hours produce deployed lunatic public media, which all Massachusetts presented by the public radio exchange pure Ex got org.

This is the moth radio, our from PR x. I Meg bowls and our last story comes from patients Murray who survive after one of the deadliest mass shootings in the United States, of caution, historic graphic. They describes the events of the attack and may be difficult for some listeners to hear patient shared her story. At an evening. We produced in partnership with three CDC at the Andersson Theatre, Memorial Hall in Cincinnati, Ohio, here's patients, Murray her gunshots. They were firing off of the music and it sounded like they're coming from another room in the club people were screaming. A king and scrambling for cover. I was twenty years old. My first time going to Florida. My first

chip alone with friends to you. And her cousin Akira the trip. The only thing we talked about four weeks, first time getting on the plane and it was. first time doing get pulse night club in Ireland. It was an eighteen and no club and we had so much Monday, night dancing being silly, but the but was about to close in my feet were aching armpits would drenched and sleep ponytail, I hadn't car turned into pushing mess. We embrace The phrase leave everything on the dance floor and we did. Until we heard the first shot in the machine gun address to the floor thing started. Moving quickly was like the room was spent, ok here, other people, but I couldn't hear myself. I couldn't hear much I couldn't think

on the floor schooling. Backwards away from the chaos and I kept moving and moving until But the cool ground underneath my palms I realise that somehow, I'm miraculously scooted my way through an exit and made it outside. When I looked up, I saw here coming towards me. She said: Terror was still inside. I lived in myself up from the ground and without any hesitation we rush for her. It was first time I felt there determination, but leave tiara behind, wasn't an option. The gunfire Was still blasting in it sounded like it was getting closer, T. With squatting by the bar paralyzed with fear. Her eyes were lost. We didn't have any time to think.

the exit seemed way too far and. The gunfire seemed way too close. we saw people rushing into the bathrooms and we really needed to hide. So decided to follow them. We saw covering a bathroom it only, at forestalls. So we jammed ourselves into the handicapped, one with twenty other people, It could still hear the gunshot, the screams, but by this point the music had stopped. there was a brief moment, a silent. Then everyone started talking again so people on their phones. A girl bleeding on the floor. holding her arm and other.

We're begging people to remain quiet. Then the gunfire started again, but this time It was inside a bathroom. We were screaming, scrambling around on the floor as the shooter fired, endless rounds of bullets edits then. The shooters gun jammed the gun. Our had stopped. when I look down on my leg. I saw a whole the size of a penny point red trees, a blood. I tried to work on my way into Space on the floor, but the pressure surrounding the balloon was so heavy. It felt like a bolder, had just dropped on my leg, crushing it is stunned, my entire body, I can barely move an inch. I could barely brief street under. meet the stall

I can see that you too steep. and his machine gun. It was nothing like. I had ever seen. It was the first time ever saw machine gun in real life. I looked at my head from the floor and a. She had her phone raised to ear While she was placing her bracing her bleeding arm- and I heard her say- please come get us- please I've been shot. desperately hope that her cause will save us all, do not have nowhere. The man said. Get off your phones. not me yelling voice, not an. Angry voice. It was a calm voice which was terrifying. I didn't dare pick up my phone. And, besides the only people I could call thousand miles away, as on vacation It was the first time I let them

date, without telling my father, I started crying I felt a hand whether my arm, China saw me I don't know whose hand it was, but Eric, shape. I had so much. I try, the sly Ford but my right leg was bent and pinned under the manly next to me, and please get off my leg. It's been shot, but he was not too move either. We need someone to come, save us, because it was absolutely nothing that we could do to save ourselves. it was gone on three again We ve been lying in each other's blow for hours, phones and ringing. Making the shooter agitated- and I found it harder to keep my eyes open. I wasn't sure if I was falling asleep or if I was dying. Then the phone rang And rang TAT ring

and then the shooter started, making his own calls to nine hundred when he the police stairway claiming that if they didn't he, detonate explosives he had in his car at first all I had to worry about With some shooting me again, but now. I feared being blown to pieces, This unit pacing. I can see his feet right outside of our style door. I didn't want to die. But each time I heard him, click is gonna. Last hope I felt myself given it. Langen, excruciating pain makes you, beg God to take the sole out of your body. It makes you pray and ask forgiveness. It makes you regret, not sing all the things that you wanted to tell people yet Extremely grateful for the things that it did say. Certainly those allow boom

the entire building should then there was another loud boom even louder than the first. I just do that this was it I knew that I was about to die I place my hand in my mouth and quench my fist in preparation for debt. Then I have nowhere of voices speakers, shouted get away from the walls. the shooter ran into our stall and began firing at people at a move to breathe. I just held my breath includes my face I felt the men next to me, move closer. I felt their body press I'm and then he shot again and I heard the man on top of the screen. Then there was another lout bloom, the wall came crashing down, to recover my face, but I can still see a light shining through the hole in the wall.

The police shouted for the man put down his weapon. And then the room erupt with gunfire and lit up like a night sky island. My fourth, then there is nothing. There was silence. When the police came in. Through the hole in the wall, I remember looking up at the officer with his armor and gun incomplete shock. I was alive. I can still see the image of my legs on the stretcher against the backdrop of those clothes ambulance doors engraved in my my forever. The hospital was a blur. But I do remember the nurse handing the phone. and the Morass my father's number just in case I have lost my phone and today I was glad I did. back to explain the situation to my father I had been shot in both legs and the boy.

that entered my right by shattered my femur bone. So I was and taken surgery. They the phone to me. I could use here How confused he was I tried my best remain calm and clear. I didn't want my father, they hear the fear my voice, like I heard the confusion and his. He always said: you're gonna be fine, That was no doctor, but I believed him kept those words with me as I rolled into surgery and really. the only thing they gave me hope tiara. Survived a gunshot tourist side. but a cure didn't make it. Earlier that night. We were celebrating offers successes and now She was gone, it was the first time

Ever felt the sensation of someone just suddenly being gone. I spent three years since the shooting. my first some walking again everyone. My first time going to school again- My first some going to a club again. And I remember my first sounding- had beacon. But no matter how happy I am. How much stronger I feel. Is ask God why even at I can't believe that I survived. forty nine people were killed. I think about the. At the shooter night, shooting me for a third time or the police not coming in when they did, and I can't stop thinking about Why me, and every day, I think, of and every day

I live in the figure out the answer to that question. Thank you That was patients, Murray patience is an entrepreneur author and founder of the surviving LIVE condition foundation. After these events, she graduated from in why you, as an embassy, Resilience award recipient patience has since move to Florida and she started a new life in a new business with her husband, Alex Murray, who sister a carrot died out now patient says that she and Alex found each other while they were both healing from the same traumatic event. He was dealing with the loss of his sister Akira and she was dealing with not only the physical pain but also the loss of her sense of security in the world.

They had both lost hope in life, but she says together they were that hope in their relationship and love for each other. From the first time I met patients to when she took the stage a period. Maybe eleven months there were more than fifteen mass shootings in the United States, El Paso. Texas, Gilroy, California, Dayton, Ohio, I worry that patient story might be too hard for people that, with every report in each instance, the numbers of casualties and fatalities reported matter factly. more and more important for people to hear her story

Samuel James, a journalist and frequent story, teller with the moth shared the stage with patients that night no higher and recently spoke to her about what it was like to tell her story. How did you feel first telling the story Extremely nervous I was extremely nervous because I never told my story in this format in this way before. Everything has always been. You know, question answer or find a way to put it into like poetry in I've spoke, before I spoke in front of people, but I've never told a story in a way that brings them on the journey with me. Verses me talking at them, because, if not a performance, your literally just telling the story- and I think Siberia them off. I like chat, And let me know my truth, my my journey with people. Who are, are willing to listen. That journey with me, and because it's a heavy story, it is not a story there,

you know brings roses at the necessary lie. It's a roller coaster ride When you were telling your story. You tell me just like what you imagined it might be verses. What actually happened loan When I imagined tell in my story on any stage especially we in the format that I was telling it in. I thought I would get super motion. Oh, I thought I would be able to finish. I thought that I would be a pilot ears by the end of it, but I actually felt Superman powered by share my story in their format on stage, because I already went into it with reservations. I didn't think that I can make it through it, but when I realized tat, I was making it through it even with distractions, even with my anxiety, even with my own emotional, in transgressions. I really as the ammo much stronger than I get myself credit for an,

I was inspiring to me onstage while I was you know saying. The stories like MA am actually making it through this. you have any any. The interactions with audience members after you told the story he offended They were a few people like a good amount of people that came up to me and just wanted to hug me. I remember one lady. She was cry litter. They cry for me, and that's for me was humbling address by gonna, say hoping that I wouldn't you know that I would be able to finish, and here this woman, you know she's so moved by it and I that point. I realise that I need to have a little bit more confidence and myself and more confidence in the fact that I do have a powerful story to tell. And no amount of anxiety, no amount of fears.

or just you know, self esteem issues should come in the way of connecting with gods purposes over my life. At the end, your story is you and the story, your story with saying that she still ass God. Why do still ass God? Why you now Acts that asking God why? Because I feel I God is revealing- why in my life every day- and I have to listen, just like how the moth audience where's. Listen to me. I have to listen for God. If so many front things that I haven't store and I feel like asking. I question why, each day all last year gave me some clarity on where I need to be this year in what What position I meant for my family for people who are often the traumas survivors. Sometimes we think

as we have control in life, but is much. Is that. the decisions we make are what shape the clay, but we're not the ones holding it got is So I'm just listening for that further. inner. You know direction from God. She just let me know if I'm other path in I feel like I am Saunders keep moving forward and down asked me this question in five years with right of its backing of yours. That was Samuel James talking with patients Murray You can hear more of that interview on our website the moth dot org, where you can also find out more about patients and the many things she's up to now. Her Business she has a book and she was featured in a three part documentary Series entitled sincerely patients that was nominated friend, an Emmy

Patients told me that the shooting forced her to truly accept the fact that we have no control over what happens in life. We can only control how we deal with it and I think that's true for all the story we met in this our may. We all find the strength to embrace and move through everything that life throws us. that's it for this episode, we hope you'll join us again next time for the moth radio, our

your host this hour was make balls, make also directed the stories in the show. The rest of the MOSS Directory staff includes Catherine burn. Sarah Havre Miss Sarah Ostend Genesis, Jennifer Hickson production support from Emily couch most areas are true, is remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Our theme, music is by the drift other music in this hour from Michael Hedges, any composing Dexter, Gordon and Bill Evans Vine Legs, all the music. We use our website the moth radio hours produced by me, J Alison with picking Merrick added lanting, public media and woods. Whole Massachusetts. This hour was produced with funds from the national endowment for the arts. The moth radio hours presented by Pierre Rex for more about our pod cast for information on pitching as your own story and everything else go to our website them off. Dato.