This episode of the moth is supported by Subaru and the twenty twenty three subaru share the love event, love is all around during the Subaru share. The love event by the end of this subaru sixteenth year, Subaru and its retailers will have donated over two hundred an eighty five million to charities like the s peace yea, make a wish. meals on wheels and the national park foundation. That means a hundred and sixteen thousand animals supported three thousand three hundred wishes granted over four point: three million meals provided and over four hundred national parks protected. Thank you, too subaru for partnering, with the moth and for working to build community, this holiday season for every new vehicle purchased or at least during the subaru share the love event subaru and its retailers. Don't need a minimum of three hundred dollars to charity, the soup,

through share the love event now, through january. Second, I've recently become obsessed with my master class annual membership it when I started using it, I tried out classes pretty close to my mouth world on storytelling

writing, making real connections. I've gone well beyond my core interests, and I started to explore all the eleven categories. Master class makes a meaningful gift this season for you and anyone on your list, because both of you can learn from the best to become your best from leadership to effective communication to cooking this holiday season, give one annual membership and get one free at master class dot com slash mouth right now you can get to membership for the price of one at master class, dot, com, slash, moth, master class dot com, slash math, offer terms, apply, I'm really christian, the holster! What's re saying from pr x and the mouth at every episode, we look at the experiences of black life in america all contracted by the many stories from my simple but overflowing life as a sixty, suddenly veteran from the south. What's re, say a pod cats with afraid.

surprising view, a black life in america through the words and memories of one man. That's me, ray christian, come listen to what I've gotta say starting november eighth. We are at this. Is the map radio, our eye, meg and in this show we have stories about special person. Did something said something that change those around them. The parent teacher volunteer, the celebrity dependable, best friend, or the surprise guest. We encounter people every day, and sometimes they leave a lasting impact. Our first story, teller, greg. Corona shared this story at one of our open. My story, slams in san francisco, which was supported by public radio stations, can

EL w and cake you eating live from the rickshaws, stop here's gregg career I was ten years old when my parents got divorced and my mom did the thing It made the most sense to her. She hooked up with my dad's sisters. Ex husband had always been uncle steve to me. He was a pot growing vietnam veteran who had lost his vocal cords too. I hand grenade and vietnam that blew up it also open up his knee

It left them dead in the mash unit for all of three minutes which which greatly changed his perspective on life, and it also made every metal detector. He ever went through just light up like a christmas tree. Everybody around us called him whispering steve because he couldn't talk like normal, be whispered in, and I quickly adapted to whispering steve instead of uncle steve and the one thing about whispering Steve was that he'd always been a really good dad to his his too. and my brother cousins and I'd always admired the way that he had. He been a father to them. So it wasn't so much like I had had lost an uncle is, as gained a father in the vacuum that was left when my parents were up and and steve was

this guy who always wanted there to be magic in the world, especially for the kids around him, he he went to great lengths to make sure that that that there was there was magic filled. Every events that it took. I mean he didn't read stories at bedtime. He invented them. He told tales that had me and my brother cousins flying through the air on jet packs, with lightsabers doing battle with orcs, where we were the heroes on a nightly basis. We never wanted to go to sleep. He made everything that happened every moment that he could take and twist into a perfect opportunity for it to be fun for everybody he did. We were driving to san Francisco, for the very first time. I had never seen the golden gate bridge before, and this is back in the days before seat belts were mandatory, and so the three of us are bouncing around in the back seat of of his car. Just all fired up, and he said all give I'm sorry all give he's candy bar to the first one of you that can spot the golden.

a bridge so we're on high alert. I mean at this point like why were real. I want the rehearsal, candy bars, item, Related or not, I'm gonna beat them to its world bouncing around it. Of course he knew soon as we all. We are looking all the way through mentoring and, as we came winding our way through through the tunnel boom there, it was, and all three of us took all day bridge and he's a good guy gets the all get candy bars. It was that perfect kind of moment Steve remained in my life because he was still my uncle technically. I always refer dumas my uncle by divorce, which was the simplest way to sum up. The situation, even after they split up, he remained a good uncle to me. He would he would help me out with projects he he with the first year. I decided in back

in two thousand to go to burning man against all of the wishes of my longtime burner. Friends, who said the thing was over and dead, and there is no use going to it at that point, because everything had grown to forty five thousand people. I went to uncle steve for help because I had this concept for an art project. I wanted to build and he was the one person who I knew could help me with it, and so I drove all the way up to his land and in northern california and and there he was on the end of the router, with a marlboro cigarette hanging from his mouth. Helping me you're really going to go all the way out there with no electricity, no water, for what I think you gotta trust me on this man. It's going to be special and and through college. When I needed a place to party he would let me come to his house and hang out and- and it was but after that first burning my experience. It was a few months later that I I went to the v, a hospital in san francisco to visit

steve and my my cousin justin was in town and everybody was super somber, because he'd been diagnosed with an extremely late stage of lung cancer. He was one of those marble miles collectors that that had them all baroque anew in the marlboro pool table. I mean anything that you could get he had collected and and- and it was late stage- lung cancer- and it was. It was three months later that I went up to his land to to say, good bye and it with them. It was hard here is a man who

it had been dead and came back and- and so I wrote him a letter because that's you know, I was better at communicating that way and I took it and I gave it to him and I couldn't look him in the face. I couldn't he was shrunk. He was shriveled. He he he'd been completely reduced. He was just this gaunt skeleton of what he used to be and, and- and I I couldn't stand to see them that way, and I spent the afternoon at his house and and was back having dinner with my mom at a friend's house, and she said you know he feels like you've already written him off like like he's already dead. I said I just was so shocked, so I went back that night and and yea. I had to walk along it's a mile, no street lights, it's all dirt road. I mean you know flashing back to my days as a ten and eleven year old, worried that bears were going to get me and he'd already gone to sleep, and- and so I was walking back thinking on where I was at my life. In that point, I put it out to the universe,

is the the thing that I wanted most was to meet her that that she had to be out there somewhere, and I was finally open and willing to to have her in my life and so the next night I swear to god. I met the woman who would become the love of my life, michelle and and a thirteen years later we have an eight year old boy who who believes that there is magic in the world and looking back, I've always assigned a lot of regret to the things that I didn't have control of like. I always wish that steve could have met michel and and seen. You know the ways he'd helped me and and seeing what a good father I'd become, but more than anything whatever

read it. I couldn't just look him in the face and tell him how much he meant to me when it still mattered. Corral guy is a fine raising, auctioneer performer founder of the san francisco disk golf club, gregg says he thinks about steve. Often he was such an important part. his life and he always imagined that when he started his own family, Steve would be part of it. Gregg share a journal entry. He wrote to steve after he died and I asked him to read it for us. I still find myself, thinking that you're gonna show up that I'll, be able to share pictures with you when I get home, it's funny how you were dying, changed my relationship with you, knowing that you're gone, I noticed more often how you ve affected me the ways I think feel and enjoy the world. Thank you for living each day like it was your life

If nothing else, I now try to do the same. You could see pictures greg, including some photos of the art installation gregg made for burning man in honour of Steve. That's on our website them off daughter and then, when you ask people who most influence them or change the course of their lives. The answer is a teacher who saw something in them or took extra care to make sure they were reaching their full potential. So in honour of teachers. Our next story comes from meg laboratory who shared it had a grandson of every produced in Chicago. Where were supported by public radio station w b easy hears, mag live at the mouth, I was sitting on a metal stool in front of my desk, holding a copy of agony. Christy's and then there were none, went out of it.

corner of my eye sought through the Jane gas metal, blinds that never really close all the way shadows are figures and before I could really process. What I was seeing over the inner com, they heard the sound. We aren't. fell, building, lockdown repeat: we are in a full building locked down and I prayed it was a drill, but I wasn't for sure and addressed Anyone pulse through my body, as I leaped from my stool, ran to the door. Putting it with one hand and ushering my students to stand, move again, The wall and sit in front of the cabinets away from the windows. The pounding started on the windows, pound, pound pound and two girls grabbed hands there matching friendship, bracelets trembling on their risk. A boy who was usually so quiet in reserve, sat upright and spread his

arms as the shielding the kids around him from the sound pounding continued but faded as it moved down our windows to other classrooms. Until we were sitting in silence- and I no that we were all holding our breath, because I was in a room with twenty seven seventh graters and I could hear the clock tank. I and in that classroom for many years, and I didn't even know that the clock made a sound right when we started hearing some noise by the door and I had a citizen, my brain, that made me panic that I had forgotten to lock it that morning I had been very careful to come in through my door and lock it immediately ever since the staff, meaning that we have had a few weeks before it was two thousand An aid- and there had been a shooting of northern ireland away university on valentine's day and that hit very close to home for the community, where I taught at that time,

Our principal worked with the authorities to put together procedures so that we and our middle school would have a process for locked down in case of an active, shooter and waste added the staff meeting and they told us they wanted it to mimic real life. So we weren't going to get the time or the date that it would happen. Just know that we've, given you a script, you know the procedures and your job is to keep the kid safe, and I too, that very seriously, because schools should be a safe place, no matter where you live and that is why I was particularly worried that I hadn't lock the doors that when we heard the noises, I was panic, but thankfully I have. because the noise is soon turn The shouting and banging open the door opened the door, and we sat and listened to the lock struggle to hold its place as the door was violently jerked. The kids we're sitting closest to the door were stretched in their fists work lunch there.

eyes were shut, their jaws were clenched, it's like they were bracing for mps, didn't. I just kept thinking what the hell, what I'd do if this was real. So I reassured myself with the same idea that I told my students and reassurance a few minutes later when the drill was over. This is the thing guys school shootings don't happen. in ten years since columbine there's only been a handful of shootings than they ve all been colleges and universities, we do tornado, drills and fire, drills and you're, not afraid of those. This is just something the school needs and I felt ok albania answer until Earl raised a hand and said so miss Larry would have. I was like getting a drink or something when the walk down happen. But when I came back, the door was locked. What would happen then faction,

at fuck. I mean, obviously I didn't say that to her. Thankfully, I have the script to go by that. I knew what the scripts said and the scripts said that I had to look at that barely thirteen year old girl and tell her to leave him in the hallway that I couldn't compromise the twenty six students that were still in the s room and she looked at me and she recoiled and avail of innocents fell down her face with her tears and said you mean you would leave me out there to die. What do you say? Yes, no, maybe I gave her the answer that I can fall. And that was again to reassure her that this was an anomaly, was not gonna happen and lay county illinois and she so did the answer, even though it wasn't the one that she wanted, and actually everyone in that room accepted the answer, because it gave us the security we needed to hear how fast forward

ten years the twenty nineth team, I'm teaching at a new strict and a new school still metal scores, and the thing is: is these kids have in doing this drill, consider school thousands, they weren't kindergarten. They are seasoned veterans and the thing it is. I can no longer look at them and tell them that school shootings don't happen, that They are an anomaly that we don't have to be concerned about them because A neighbouring town had a middle school, or this year found with the loaded armed rifle in his bedroom. After making threats to the school, many of whom my students new. So when the familiar lockdown announcement came on over the intercom, the students didn't look to me at all. They were or like military operatives than awkward teenagers as they planned, how the barricade the door with which desks and which

Stapler would be the heaviest one to throw at someone and when I, my finger to my mouth to help them be quiet. A kid looked me unflinchingly and said words that cuts in my core. Miss lavatory I know that that's what you think you're supposed to. do, but your job is not to save us. We have to save ourselves, and I looked up at a sign. That's been hanging my room. That says something like the job of the teachers to enable the student to move forth without you- and I have looked at that time. A lot of times for inspiration but I never thought the way I would see it play out was in that situation,

kill. The mag Labrie is a middle school health teacher coach and certified yoga instructor and is currently working on a graduate degree through the international institute of restorative practices. She lives in a conservation community in the chicago suburbs, with her wife, daughter and a menagerie of rescue animals, meg says growing up. Her teachers were life, giving especially they, after she lost her mother at the age of thirteen. She loves teaching and says she hopes that are students will remember her as a teacher who helped them become more compassionate self aware and curious humans coming up,

wedding bells at city hall, when the moth radio hour contents, the moth radio hour, is produced by atlantic public media in woods, hole, massachusetts and presented by pr x. The holidays are approaching and with them the overwhelming prospect of choosing the perfect gifts for the people in our lives, but never fear. quince, as is covered with a mind, boggling range of products for everyone on your lest sweaters and gorgeous fabrics check

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is all around during the Subaru share. The love event by the end of this subaru sixteenth year, Subaru and its retailers will have donated over two hundred An eighty five million to charities like the s peace yea, make a wish. meals on wheels and the national park foundation. That means a hundred and sixteen thousand animals supported three thousand three hundred wishes granted over four point: three million meals provided and over four hundred national parks protected. Thank you, too subaru for partnering, with the moth and for working to build communal. The this holiday season for every new vehicle purchased, or at least during the subaru share the love event subaru and its retailers. I don't need a minimum of three hundred dollars to charity. The soup through share the love event now through january. Second,.

This is the moth radio, our firm pr x, I meg clause. There ve been omens throughout history, where people have come together to lend a hand in good times and bad at a celebration or necessity, each of those individuals contributed something special and chances? Are they will he remembered by someone they encountered? This is true of our next storyteller bethia eight, who, in a moment of celebration, wanted to help spread a little joy from behind. in saloon and madison wisconsin, where were supported, w p r fears that I had the worst, blisters that I've ever had my life. It kept me out of work for two days. I couldn't walk and I do it a hundred times again. This is back

in two thousand and four and I was married in the san francisco gay marriage, Lollapalooza gavin newsome on february thirteenth, married to older lesbians on a friday night and said he was going to be married people over the weekend and I they're gonna shut this poppy down Saturday morning, it's all over the news. There's lines out the watch out that all over for people, in an apt to be married at some point, my I say to each other: we gotta do this. We call friends, we call family, saturday sunday. We go when we are waiting in line to be married, family and friends around us four o clock. We get to It's a friend of the line and they say no more today go back sunday morning at four thirty in the morning, in its pouring rain family in french, show up at six thirty, we get me at eleven, a m and the san francisco city hall rotunda. But that's not my story, my story as I loved it, and I wonder

you would again- so Monday night I get on the phone and I'm trawling, our friends saying who wants to get married. You gotta do this and I kind of couple who agrees that I go tuesday and may get married and that not enough so wednesday morning. I call into work- and I say, I'm not coming in and I go down to san francisco city hall and I dressed up as these people's wedding. I got a suit on and I got these great new high heels that I have. The volunteer job I got is I got to escort couples from where they filled up their paper work the registrars office download long corridor with all these people were, to fill out their paper work do the same. Let's just go city hall rotunda where they had the official ceremony and each for I bring down each couple. People would clap about ten in the morning I get

the front of the line where I'm dropping off this couple that had just sign their people work, and I noticed there is a pile of flowers and I say to the volunteer work. What are these? Where these coming from the guy? I don't know- and you gotta understand like this- was happening in the moment. Nobody knew diddly. So I back at about eleven thirty, nine look over in the pile is huge I say to the volunteer work where these common from in the woman says you gotta freedom, so I pick up one in its I'm a family in denver and they say our sun died of aids. Years ago. if he was still alive. He and his partner would be there with you getting married And I know you didn't have time to get a bouquet and plan for your wedding. So this is our and honour of him and in celebration of your marriage, I read another one and its from a family in minnesota and they save wicked they're getting married. We would we just couldn't make it in so

around two o clock. I am therewith this couple on their phone their paperwork and I turn around and thus swat team is standing behind us- and I don't have you ever seen- a swat team close that, but they look huge and their covered head to toe, and this man makes us announcement. You need to stay where you are and somebody what's going on and he says there's protesters coming and we can't ask them to leave until they disrupt work. So we wait. And pretty soon you hear some people coming along saying horrid things. You see some horrible signs so when the protesters get their swat, clears them out and when sir it leaves of the protesters. People in the line are clapping and cheering, as you know, they get all these protesters out and then I get to walk down with the first couple. After these protesters and people stood up and screamed and clapped and yelled for this,

couple and its couple makes it do the rotunda. They have their wedding. It's over at five o clock I go home, I take off my shoes. I have the worst blisters I've ever had in my life and I literally cannot walk for two days and I do it a hundred times again that was best bet, he's been working as a leadership trainer and consulted for thirty years. She said so many people wanted to be part of that historic event. They were I did and happy and showed up to help everyone in line one person, with a rolling card from their office with coffee from starbucks cream sugar stir sticks the whole thing one day when it rains some folk showed up with socks where people have been standing in line four hours and had wet feet, others, handed out umbrellas. For her part. She said

I hope my volunteering made things easier, but I dont want or expect to be remembered by anyone. It was their special day and I just felt honoured to have been a small part of it that has been with her spouse, Jackie for three, five years now, you can see pictures of beth and the wife Jackie, on their special day on our website them off dot, org, our? story. Teller is Brittany cooper who found herself in it missing situation. When someone she never expected was compelled to come

contact your after reading, something she wrote. She shared her story at the errand Davis hall in harlem years. Greatly cooper live with them off, so the early two thousands I became first person in my family to grasp from college to go on to pursue a phd. No you gotta med school, you become a doctor. and when you go to law school, you become a lawyer. But when you gotta grants oh and the humanities you become a critic. Imagine studying for six years for the express privilege of telling, we bodies ever written or said anything. What is wrong with what they have said? Imagine

further explaining this to your family ethics, giving so one of the ways that I would cope with this unfortunate turn of events. Is that I would go to the movies typically, a matinee on a wednesday and my favorite filmmaker at the time, was tyler perry. When I went to see diary of a mad black woman, I thought to myself here is a man who understands black women who had been done wrong when Kimberly elisa character, slaps the shit out of the husband that has been abusing our island, the theatre, hooting intolerant

all the ladies in there, but at the same time I'm also becoming a feminist, and you know I'm down for smashing the patriarchy and everything. But nobody tells you that the first casualty of a feminist analysis is movies. You hate them because you see the patriarchy absolutely everywhere you become a feminist and suddenly you can't

like anything, any more europe professional, unlike her of everything or as they say in the hood, I'm getting a phd play a hate and do it occurs to me that I, like these movie, sama keep going, but I'm just not going to tell my feminist friends how much I like them, because every time I talked to them, they're using language like troops and representations and how problematic the films are. But when I'm thinking to myself is

but in daddy's little girls, Gabrielle union's character, snacks, fine, as idris elba, and I dunno a straight black girl. They don't want eaters, and I'm also thinking this feels a little bit like home. You know, tyler perry built his career, making these madea stage plays, and there was like an underground economy, economy of vhs dubs that you could get of these plays. So I remember you know what, watching. One of these plays with my aunty and her laughing hysterically, and I'm sitting there going like the look, a little low budget, but medea is a gun, toting a pistol, toting granny and my granny was a pistol tone granny. So it kind of worked for me, but I was also starting to see what my friends were saying as I went, to see the family, that praise in the female character and that movie is don't villain, ized, that by the time her husband the shit out of her the women

in the theatre or hoddan and hollerin again, but this time, I'm not hollering with them, because you know I'm a feminist now and as domestic violence. So I'm starting to think maybe me tyler my have to break up fast forward. I finish my phd. I get it job as a professor at a big state school in the deep south tyler and I have broken up, but his star has continued to ascend and I'm trying to figure out how to wear this big old title as both a phd and a critic. Even though I come from people that don't really have fancy titles. So I call on my girls, who are mostly for first generation page these themselves and we form a crew and a blog,

while the crunk feminist collective. So around this time, tyler puts out a show called the haves and the have nots and like a good feminist, I tune in to hate watch the show and as suspected as expected. He gives me something to hate so the next day I go to the crunk feminist, collective blog and I pin a post called tyler perry, hates black women Now let me say that you know some high profile feminist would become in through in reading the blog, but, like I don't really think any famous for Most people were waiting, the blog. So imagine my surprise. The next day when I get an email subject line, tyler perry wants to talk to you.

I think it's a joke right, but I opened the email. I call the number back and it's it's not a jerk. His assistant gets on the phone and she says he wants to talk to you. So we set up a time to talk like the next day and the day in between, I spend my time call on all my home girls going what we got and the consensus among the feminist cabal is vanishing, yeah. We have been waiting our whole careers for this and you have been chosen, so you're gonna do ass. You like but it's tyler bury though so the next day now moved to new jersey, I'm a professor states called in new jersey, I'm sitting in my one bed: room apartment with peeling paint the personal lives

across the hall from user grad student because it turns out the professor money doesn't go as far as you think it does. When you don't come from china national wealth and I'm waiting on a famous millionaire filmmaker to call my phone, and I also have an intense need to pee, but I'm afraid to make a run for so right on time the phone rings miss cooper. This is tyler perry high, Mr Pierre. No commie, tyler, ok, call me, brittany, brittany. You wrote some things about me that I want to talk about well, tyler. Let me begin by saying that I have in all of your films and really respect nope. You said that I hate black women and I dont understand how you came to that conclusion. Deep breath he really want to do is all right Let's begin with the haves and have nots, why the first three minutes of that showed. We have made a sex workers in a rich black bitch. These our trust.

the black womanhood and he starts me. He says tropes. Let me explain some tea. You're talking to a man would have twelve great education sought. Know anything about troops, but when I was growing up, the person that live next door to me was a maid and her daughter was a sex worker and they were like the nicest people ever. And so they are realised, like oh wow, yeah, he's, tyler perry and he's rich and I'm not rich, but I have a phd and he has a tall, great education and so all of a sudden, maybe the playing field is not so desperate, as I thought, and I also think to myself like my mother

it was a single mother with a twelve twelfth grade education and my uncle who tyler perry is starting to sound like on the phone also had a twelfth grade education. So I realized like these are the people that raised me and let me switch my tack up a little bit, so I say tyler, you know you and I have a lot in common we're both from Louisiana. We were both raised in the church right and we both have pistol tone grannies. We both had an abusive parent, and he said oh wow,. I didn't know that about you, but I just knew you were sharp and now that I do know this about you. I don't understand why you don't understand what I'm trying to do in my movies, and so I say to him. Ok, here's really my question. well educated black girls in your movie, such bitches to everybody, and he says well because there was a the branch of my family grown up. They all went to college and they

treated everybody liked trash, and I realize damn like that's exactly the thing that I feared that having all of this education might make me unrecognizable to the people that raised me, because the thing that I loved about tyler periods movies is that he writes hard for working class black girls, the girl that work behind the counter, it waffle house, church ladys rate

the grannies that press twenty dollars into your hand when you come home from school. Those are the kind of folks that raise me and I wanted to be recognizable to them. So I'm thinking about all of this and tyler breaks in britain, something urgent just came up, cannot call you back I'll call you back in twenty minutes and I'm like okay, so we get off the phone I run to pete and then I'm sitting in my house going down like he not gonna, call me back, because I was blowing this conversation and maybe being a little bit of a jerk, but- like. You said: twenty minutes later the phone rings tyler. This is brittany where, where we saw with my twenty minutes of hindsight and hastily game,

wisdom. I say here's the thing, I'm really trying to say tyler. Is it possible for you to uplift working class black girls in your films without for when the educated sisters under the bus, because educated girls love your movies too, and he says you know what that's profound cannot live. One group without demonizing another group am, I think about that, and so then I said to him now: if you we keep talking about this, I'm a professional critic and I'm happy to offer these no pieces. I'm never calling your s again,

We both screamed because it was like the real is moment in this conversation, but he said I always like to talk to my critics. I learn a lot from them and not set fair enough and we hung up- and I was left thinking that the thing that connects tyler period me as that, we're both working class southern folks who, in our respective fields, have potent quote, made it and we want to do the kind of work that always honours the places where we come from, and I realise that his work called for me. The fear that maybe I would be losing touch with the folks that meet the most to me. But what I also thought was that I'm used to men dismissing me, because I have loud opinions and I'm,

crash and unapologetic and I'm a feminist, but when this millionaire filmmaker read the law, all blog of a not even thousand air professor and heard me say that the way he represented girls like me and his movies essentially hurt my feelings. He didn't ignore me or act like he hadn't seen it heard it. He picked. up the phone and called me and then he listened and call back and listened again until he could find something useful to make his art better. I had been so swift and shore to proclaim that tyler, pirie hates black women and I was left to consider- maybe list

winning is what love looks like after all. Thank you. The really kleberg is from rust in louisiana a small college town, six hours north of new orleans she's an only child and proud of it by day, she's, a women's gender sexuality studies, professor and a black feminist capital b capital at the brittany said that call from tyler perry clarified her relationship with being a credit up to realise that what she cared more about them being right was being heard. She says my soul is better, and indeed I think our collective american soul is better than we do our as to really listen to each other. I wished The extensive was in our power that more of us would pick up the phone and have a conversation. You can find

more about brittany and see pictures of the trunk feminist collective on our website. The moth coming up face to face with the designated enemy behind the gates of guantanamo when the boss, radio, our continues the moth radio hours produced by related public media, which all massachusetts and presented by the public radio exchange, Pierre ex dot. Org You look around your business and see inefficiency everywhere. So you should know these numbers thirty, seven thousand the number of businesses which have upgraded to the nuts.

Or one cloud financial system, not sweet by oracle. Twenty five, not sweet, just turned twenty five: that's twenty five years of helping businesses, streamlined their finances and reduce costs, one because your unique business deserves a customer solution and that's not sweet, learn more when you download net sweets, popular kpi checklist, absolutely free at net sweet dot, com, slash, moth, that's net, sweet dot, com, slash moth! this is the moth radio, our from pr x, I meg bulls and our final story comes from Jeremy jennings. He share At an evening we produced at the alabama shakespeare festival in montgomery, a quick

note for listeners. Jeremy story include some difficult details and extreme situations that might not be appropriate for on this house hears Jeremy James. Oh my first shift as a guard on mental health block delta guantanamo there's a man locked in the rubber room being said repeatedly on the glass window of the door bleeding from his warhead and rattling it on its hinges. This went on for some time Until I started, or are you going to do some serious harm to himself, and so I alerted the hell out Alerted the medical staff and the sergeant the guard, and they told me that guy. he's just trying to get your attention and he's manipulating you so ignore him

So I followed my orders, but I thought to myself: if my job here is not keep the detainees safe, when what is my job. I joined the army national guard in two thousand after seeing a camera, on tv with the young guys my age. Doing the sorts of army stuff, I dreamed about doing It's the one year aroused and junior rotc in high school, but I grew up in a military the family and I had some idea what active duty was like and what real war might be like, and I didn't want to be a real soldier. So I thought I could join the guard. Like a train, israel soldier, but I wouldn't have to be one. And the nine eleven happen. And I found myself on guard duty of the golden gate bridge and its time went on. Some of us were pulled off that mission and send to afghan it,

And then the war in iraq started and more of us were pulled off and sent to Iraq. And eventually my unit was activated. and we are assigned to detain the operations in guantanamo bay when we got there, the camp commander told us. This is the front line of the war on terror, we're getting good information and we're saving lives and make no mistake. These guys are highly trained taliban and Al Qaeda commando guys, oh how to resist star interrogation. They know, organize inside a prison, and they know how to manipulate you. We give them a chance, they will try to kill. You made us all very nervous, because we were not a military police unit. We are field artillery. retrained, issued the and me from long distances.

but this was our mission, so we were going to do the best. We could. The first time I walked inside that prison gate after gate locked behind me, And I passed through row after row of concertina wire until I felt like I was locked inside there with all the rest of them and it was terrifying every time it was terrifying. The prison is constructed of steel shipping containers they have been chopped up and sembled with steel diamond plate and wire mashed create open air prison blocks that held about fifty detainees, each and every time we went inside that place we put table Or a name tag lying uniforms. the patch over our unit. Insignia said mp. and every time we acted with the detainees, we were rubber, surgical, gloves

And the number one rule was to not socialize with the detainees? You don't talk about whether you don't talk about sports. You only talk about camp business. And as time went on, some of those detainees did live up to its camp commander had told us about them.

Majority did not mean this is troubling one night in the barracks. I confided in my roommate and I said, submission seems crazy man. It doesn't feel like what we're doing is right. In fact, kind of feels like what we're doing is wrong. He says yeah man. I know I feel the same way, but isn't that how it's supposed to feel you get sent off to war stuff? We never talked about that again, because the last thing you want your fellow soldiers were commanders to think is that you're, a terrorist sympathizer

And eventually I was assigned a special mission inside the camp as a guard on the mental health block and there the rules were inverted. We are encouraged to socialize with the detainees and get to know them establish a rapport so that we could manipulate their behavior and keep everyone safe and on that block There were a number of permanent residence. There is the man in the rubber room. There is another man who saw ghosts is dead family in Jeannie's There is another man who just paste back and forth in so all day, and the only time he ever spoke to me was when he asked me for a soccer magazine. midnight when he lay down on his bunk. You could see the pink or not,

the floor, where even stepping all day long but down at the end of the black near the entrance, there was a guy. We called tony by some previous shift, given him that. nickname is a cruel joke, but tony blair was a decent guy. He spoke pretty good english. He knew a bunch arap songs, you bunch a joke and he was good it imitating the guards. Ninety percent at the time. You is no problem at all. If tony blair like do you He would insist on giving you a fist bump to the wire mesh of his cell when he saw you and call you his homeboy, but one day tony blair came back from interrogation and he had changed. He got very depressed and he started acting out and I asked him

what happened? Tony Blair, he said the interrogators had told him crazy things that you didn't think he was ever going home and as the staff. And though the guards retaliated against his behavior. I couldn't do anything to prevent, But at least I didn't have to join in and treated like an asshole. But one night when I was walking the black I came to his cell and he was twisting up, is bedsheet into her rope and use threading it through the seal measure of worn preparing to hang himself I'd seen this before. It was my worst nightmares. A guard to have a detainee kill themselves on my watch. So I panicked didn't know what to do at first. I thought maybe I could run down to the under the black and grabbed the suicide kit with there

Keys doping is sound scissors to come down. I didn't want to live in their long enough to hurt himself, so I just stood there and they said tony blair can talk to me to come to the door. Come talk to me. Eventually, he did come to the door and he said rice and tony blair. What's goin on Where are you doing this and he just looked at me and said: cause I'm never going home and he went back to preparing a news and I just kept pleading with him. I said tony blair come back, come to come back to the door and talk to me just talk to so eventually he did come back to the door and he just looked at me. and he said I won't kill myself if we're real friends. I said, of course, were real friends or homeboys, and I offered him a fist, but he refused it. Is it now

real friends. Then we should shake hands like real brothers, and I thought to myself. This is what the camp commander was talking about. Two ways: in manipulating me and as soon as I opened that being whole, and I give him my hand he's going to stab me with a steel welding rod. The weld is left inside the prison when they built this place and that we had found on cell searches. But another part of me thought tony blair is not a killer he's just given up

And so I opened the bean or I gave him my hand and he still refused it. He said no, not with gloves but like real brothers. So I took my gloves off and I gave him my hand he just held it with both his hands very gently. He didn't say a word: he just looked at me and I don't know how long wasted but for the first time I felt like I'd done something right in that place and then he quietly like over my hand, he turned around. Damn lay down on his bunk and went to bed.

it wasn't long after that night, tat. It was my last shift on their black and I walked, Ass to so I get usually did, I said, see tomorrow, tony blair I never saw him again. I spent four more years in army after that last year they held me over my contract, sent me to iraq for a year and so, when I returned, I had no other nation left to the military. I just walked away, but I never forgot about those detainees and I was curious,

And I found some freedom of information act documents search deal when I found it grew at that tony blair was made. Ever that they had never charged or convicted of anything in that they'd released him and I'm gonna win. and another where they sent him. I just hope he made at home. That was jeremy, Jennings you shouldn't oh, that as Jeremy was working on historic, he left out critical operational details and was careful not to discuss anything classified were not covered by the freedom of information act. I mention this because people have worked at guantanamo are not at liberty to speak about many parts of the experience in an email, Jeremy wrote I oh guilty and responsible for what happened there

You just say something true and human about that place. That forever stands for pain, torture in justice and inhumanity. I just want america, Remember what we did account for it accept responsibility now, the good People do all the worse things, and sometimes the bad guys aren't who we think they are You can find out more about jeremy and all the storytellers you ve heard in this hour on our website, the moth dot org, that's it for this episode of the moth radio, our. I hope these stories have made their own lasting impression until next time, thanks for listening the episode of the moth radio always produced by me, J Allison,

burns and make balls who also hosted and directed the stories in the show co producer Vicky merrick associate producer Emily couch. The rest The most leadership team include Sarah haber men, Sarah Ostend, genetic jennifer, hickson, Kate, tellers, Jennifer, Birmingham, marina clue, che, suzanne, rust, Brandon grant in google, Adele ski Sarah Jane Johnson and all they cause more so is your true is remembered and affirmed by the storytellers music is by the drift other music in this hour from bill or cut, been received spread reservoir and roma cowan and bill. We risk funding from the national endowment for the thing this hour to troy public radio the moth radio hour produced by atlantic public media. Its whole massachusetts and presented by pr x for more about our pod gas, for information on pitching as europeans and everything else good or website the moth daughter.

thanks to Subaru and the twenty twenty three subaru share, the love of and for supporting this episode of them off by the end of this subaru sixteenth year, Subaru and its retailers will have donated over two hundred eighty five million to charities like the as pc. I make a wish meals on wheels and the national park foundation. That's a hundred and sixteen thousand animals supported thirty three hundred wishes granted over four point: three million meals provided and over four hundred national parks protected. The subaru share the love of end now through january. Second,