The mouth is brought to you by progressive. Are you thinking more about how to tighten up your budget? These days, drivers who saved by switching to progressive, save over seven hundred dollars on average and customers can qualify for an average of six discounts when they sign up a little off your rate. Each month goes a long way, get a quote today: a progressive dot com, aggressive, casualty insurance company in affiliates national annual average insurance savings by new customers surveyed who saved would progressive between June twenty twenty and may twenty twenty one potential savings will be very discounts area and are not available in all states in situations. Are you or do you know, a high school student with a story to tell do you want to learn to craft your own story join them off for our all country programme, a free virtual out of school programme with high schoolers from all over the country dig in to the unique wonder of your life, build your confidence and find your story. All country will run every Saturday or Sunday for seven weeks, starting April second, to apply

so the moth dot, Org slash all country applications will open February. Twenty eighth: the deadline to apply is March thirteenth. We to see there we are at the mouth, radio I Meg balls and in this hour will therefore stories recorded, live on stage stories of nerves under pressure survival.

one families, amazing generosity, our first story from a lot o Connor Spi, was told that our slam series in Chicago the theme of the evening was busted. I was born in the former Soviet Union and a country that is known as the last dictatorship in Europe. I was about five years old when the Soviet Union crumbled and my parents filed for the paperwork to move to America, and so in December we packed up all the very few things we had into two suitcases. It was my mom, my dad, my grandmother and my twenty year old Cisterna and we were leaving behind this place that was empty. The stores were empty

the streets were empty, the hearts of the people often times were empty because it was pretty satin the pretty sad place to live at that time. So we will make this long journey with two suitcases and hand for four people, five people and we end up in the suburbs of Detroit Michigan, and so December in Detroit, and the five was piled into a two budget apartment on the second floor, where lots of other immigrants live and we all displaced ourselves in different rooms and pockets of the living room and we unpack or to suitcases and realize, there's a whole bunch of stuff that we need, and so we put on the fur coats that, yes, my parents, broad and the two suitcase if, though we had and had- and we don't have a car or anyone to drivers or not knowledge of how to navigate the bus system. So we walk so December. Ninety, ninety one, my grand

Mother, my mom, my dad my twenty year old, pissed off sister that she has to live in Detroit and five year old me are walking down the side of the street in Detroit towards a camera and it was miserable, but we walk up to it and these magical doors just part open, and this cold air breezes past us and shelves of things that are for their clothes hanging everywhere, and shoes piled up and people happy and boisterous and screaming and announcements over the inner com, and we start walking in my sister's drawn towards the clothes and my grandmother's fascinated by the dollar. Ninety nine jewellery and my dad's trying to figure out what kind of toilet paper we need, and I turned the corner, and I see this magical display of toys. Belarus. The toys that I had

We're like bounty balls like there were shelves and shelves of bounty ball. There were some went deflated, but you don't count upon and I didn't have a new toys at that time, but there were shut of toys. There were like nerve balls and guns and barbies and board games, and I'm standing there shocked like as they like Heaven just so descended upon me and my mom goes away to find my dad and I look up on the second child, and I see this little tiny caricature of snow white. She was wearing this like pale blue dress with this little white apron on and the little basket jaime and I reach up on my tippy toes and I

pull her down and I put her in my pocket and I go to find my mom and we find my grandma. We find my sister and we walk out of the store with our toilet paper and nothing else, and we put our hats back on and we walked through the streets of Detroit Back Dingy, two regiments apartment and I take out snow white Knight, put her on my dresser and my mom turns to me and she goes what s verdict. My new friend she's like no known and we put the had back gone away. But the girl back on and my mom is dragging lay down the streets of Detroit, the doors part open and she is Looking around and she's, dragging me to customer service

and meanwhile in Russian she's, telling me that I have stolen, and I tell her mom God doesn't understand. English only understand russian and he thinks it's fine, where am I

mom and very broken English? We had only been in America about a week and she didn't really know English before. That is trying to tell the customer service representative that her five year old, daughter, who's, like dressed and in a fur coat and Detroit in the 90s, stole this little snow white and the customer service representative is looking down on me and I'm looking up at him and I'm just saying mom, God doesn't understand this. He thinks it's time, and so the customer service representative, terrified and unsure what to do it takes a little snow white sticks. It back into my little pocket and says it's okay, and until my parents moved to Florida in September of last year

Thou little snow white was on a bookshelf in my bedroom, and my mom would occasionally turned to me and say this reminds you of that. You are thief and can steal that was a monarch, Norsemen Olano. When the story slam that evening and went on to compete in Chicago Grassland, our next He's from Miley Malloy Miley told the story at a special event. We produced in New York to celebrate the Twentyth anniversary of Riverhead books, the evening fiction, a bunch of different authors, published by Riverhead all telling stories about being in

or an sometimes awkward situations. Here's my Malloy boy. I was in the fifth grade in Montana, in the final round of the Lewis and Clark Counties, spelling bee- and I just spelled the word Mimis as in screaming memes. And I was waiting for the bell to doing the tells you that you have spelt the word wrong and releases a flood of adrenalin and makes your legs shake, and your stomach drop and a photographer took my picture and the bell, didn't thing. So I won and the local news.

We're ran a story describing me as extremely shy, peering out from behind red hair, and I had this double response. I was indignant because I wasn't shy and I was also horrified that entering a spelling bee meant that people could publish opinions about your personality in the newspaper. So maybe I was shy. The picture they had of me standing at the microphone looked like I was facing the firing squad. I grew up in a small town.

where it really felt like you know, everyone and the question of shyness had just never come up. I went under the state spelling Bee now I got the word indict and spelled it I and ii I t and the building and people came. After him reward and said. How could you get indict wrong? Everyone in your family is a lawyer which was true.

my father and my stepmother and my grandfather and my uncle were all lawyers and corrupt surrounded by them, which might have added to my reserve, because lawyers are trained to argue so, whatever you said, some one was going to take the other side, just sat a force of habit. If you'd made the opposite statement, they would have argued with that. So when I started writing fiction, it was a revelation.

It was the perfect job. No one argues with short stories and you can do it alone in a room on Sundays. The only person I spoke to us, the guy at the Jim who says, have a nice work out and then right about the time. My first book was coming out of a collection of short stories. I got a call saying that Martha Stewart had chosen it for her book club on her television show. This is a big deal. Martha was at the height of her career She was really everywhere, it was Oprah and her, and I have never done any kind of interview before I dont mean I had never done a local television interview or a cable book tv interview. I mean I had never done the kind of interview or someone emails, you five questions for their blog and you email them back. The answers

I had done nothing so now from my room, where I sit alone typing I'm supposed to go on national tv I first interview ever is going to be with the knot and terrifying Martha Stewart error in the books. Publicist was thrilled and it didn't occurred to her that I didn't know how to do a tv interview and it didn't occurred to me to tell her because honestly I didn't know just as I didn't know. I was shy and told the reporter covering the spelling bee. Told me I was, I didn't know how utterly unprepared I was. I had no nice cloth because I've been,

didn't forever and because I live in LOS Angeles, where you can really where genes to anything- and I think I was thinking of the row- beware of all enterprises requiring new clothes or something. So I'm on the phone with their is in New York, and I say so I guess I'll just where What I usually where and she says what do you usually aware- and I said, Jane Don T shirts, I said also, I just follow me here and she said: oh no, why hey I've been playing a sport called kayak polo in an attempt to get out and see other humans. and incorrect polo. There are a lot of paddles flying around, and so you are a helmet with a metal face mask and my ponytail got in the way of the helmet and it was annoying. So I cut it off.

So I'd always had long hair and now I have none and off. I go across the country, and I mean Erin for the first time and we go together to Martha's television studio in Westport Connecticut, which is in an old. own office building from the twenties and we're on the way down the long, driveway and errand says so. Did you read the news this morning and I hadn't and she said all of Martha's emails were just subpoenaed, because there was this insider trading case. And there was talk of an indictment, which is a word I can now spell. So we get it.

studio and its clear that everyone there is really stressed out because they all might be out of a job soon and Martha might be going to jail, and someone gives us a tour. The studio have all these stages based on rooms in Martha's houses, and it has a giant warehouse sized room. That's all crafting materials on shells to the ceiling been and bins of yarn and fabric and buttons and glue

I'm not a craft, I'm not even an aspirational craft, but I start getting that intensely inadequate feeling that Martha gives people, because she couldn't it a cable that sweater while putting on a dinner for sixteen- and I could not- and after the tour we wait and we wait and imagine my In her dressing room scrolling through her emails- and I imagine having to turn over all of my emails to a court for any reason and how embarrassing that would be and I tried doing a breathing exercise that spoke to make your breath and your voice come from your diaphragm down low and it supposed to make you feel more grounded and more powerful, but it is not working and someone gives us some beautiful food and a cavity.

but I can't eat it and then someone whose hands smell like lunch, does my make up and she says your hair is long and your author photo what happened and then send out to the set, and someone sits in the sea where Martha will sit under the lights. But Martha doesn't come out. She sends word to ask what I'm wearing, because she wants to match the beautiful colors on the book, jacket and coordinate with me. You see even with the subpoena she's thinking about nice clothes and I'm wearing a t, shirt, and I hear someone say

kind of a green t shirt and this person who works for her is trying to put me at ease, but I am not at ease. I am vibrating with nervousness and finally, she comes out in a violent silk shirt. The exact shade of the violet on the book and her hair is perfect and she's very beautiful. And she has that kind of disorienting, familiarity and glow of celebrity units Martha and she sits in the chair and we chat with the cameras. Often she says how much she loves the book and how much she loves. Montana and she's just been out to TED Turner's ranch and have I been there

I haven't, but we agree how gorgeous this date is. So this is going well and at the table where we're sitting there are some old, worn, hardcover books and some flowers and my book propped up and Martha. You may know this has a very strong visual sense and not a great store of patients and she's very direct. That's how she got where she is she looks at these old books on the table and she says what are those doing there and everyone freezes and the fear and the room is palpable. And this tiny voice from behind the light says there sat dressing and she says: do they have anything to do with her book and the tiny voice?

As no and she's a falling get rid of them and someone scurries forward and takes the books away and we set the table and there is so much tension, the room, probably more than usual, with the threat of the indictment and my show there's a rap around my ears and I look like the spelling bee photo and I don't know if I can speak. and the cameras are rolling when Martha picks up my book and says I'm here with Miley Malloy to talk about her wonderful short story, collection, happen, love so Miley you're from Montana, and I say yes and

it gives me a kind of a funny looking says and you grew up there and went to school there, and I say yes and she says I can stop the cameras right, listen, my way, you have to talk. People want to know these things about you, and I say: ok, but I didn't say this to her. These are questions with yes or no answer, and I am serving them, I was raised by lawyers. I grew up with stories about depositions that had gone terribly wrong.

Because someone volunteered too much from early childhood that you only answer that question. You are ass, you volunteer nothing. So we start again and Martha says I'm here with my name alive, to talk about her wonderful short story: collection, half in love, so Miley you're from Montana, and I Yes, and I grew up there and went to school there. and she gives me another look. But we go on and we have a conversation and Martha.

incredibly nice about at all and I spent a week, filled with dread Before the interview arid- and I watched it alone, in LOS Angeles and on the screen, I seem to be trying to protect myself with my shoulders and look varies. more, but I warmed up and they added it out the worst parts. Included, Martha saying that I would have to come back for my next book and me saying deal which was you know, a fully executed verbal contract in front of witnesses. My second point was between one on how to make those cookie is that our frosted half black and half way and a guy who had a lemur for pets.

and the lemur guy was brilliant here. Was so relaxed and totally knew how to talk about lemurs without any prompting he does. Rattled away and now, twelve years and six books later, I am almost as good as the limber guy. I get back from book tour and someone will ask me a simple question and I have a whole anecdote ready. I'm practically tap dancing the answer before I catch myself and stop, and it's all things to Mars. And I was ready to go back for my next book and do it better by the time the novel came out. Martha was imprisoned, that's how it goes some

Thank you my. We mobilise written six, more books of action since meaning Martha Stewart. She also competed on the- U S, women's kayak, The team for four years check out the mandatory to see the newspaper clipping from Miley six great spelling bee victory. We also managed, the picture? Miley Martha Stewart that was taken on the day of the teaching, my late father scanned the cabin He has hanging on its refrigerator for us coming up here. How one boy navigated is waved the precarious world of the foster care system,

the moth radio hours produced by atlantic public media and woods whole Massachusetts and presented by pr exe oh do is a suite of business apps. But what does that really mean on your computer may be in your pj's. Maybe not you have a tab. Open With the dashboard of applications, one for every department in your company, there's manufacturing counting website purchase and more. You click on the CRM app and reach out to new opportunities. Then you click on the inventory apt to make sure your stock levels are good before clicking on the sales apt to send a quote to a customer, how many tabs you have open just one. Who makes things simple go to. Oh, do calm, slash, moth to start a free trial, that's o d, o o dot com slash mouth from, our axes of the moth radio, our eye MEG bulls, and our next story comes from musician Samuel. James C,

we'll tell this story in Portland Main for an evening. We produced in partnership with the main public broadcasting network. The theme of the night was a leap of faith was twelve years old and I was in my third foster home and my very first part of foster Father. I just called. and he called to say that he was very sorry to hear about my mother, But what he didn't know is that nobody had told me that she was dead so. I was in foster homes, because my parents drank they weren't bad people. I always felt loved

when they weren't drinking, they were better parents and they were drink and more and more frequently, and eventually people started to notice. I never noticed because I don't have another childhood compare to so when I got taken out of my home. I was very confused and and very upset, and when I I doubt that she had died. I just got empty united hollowed out, And then, when no one else call to say that she had died is so they get really angry. You know like turn the world angry. Being kid, a black kid and fast, comes in Maine and burned. World angry. There is now a lot of foster, They want to hang on to you for very long so

going through pretty quick I learned the magic number was five. If you get a five foster homes, your remarks and people don't want hang on to you at all the name, your trouble, so you can't get placement and you are homeless and then you go into shelter. and I do you- can only stand for thirty days and he ran to the next and the next. This is affectionately called the shelter shuffle, so The education you get in the shelter is nothing to mention. When I was a little little boy. I remember my father telling me that, because I am black, I will have to be so. ices smart as the smartest white man in the room to get recognized half as much.

education was always a very important thing to me. So I knew I to straighten out so when I was fourteen- and I got my seventh fast I knew I had to hang onto this for dear life, no matter the cost, so I get to my seven foster home. The caseworker drops me off. I bring all my stuff into the room, my room, which was in the basement. always in the basement, and I'm really nervous because I don't want to mess up. So I go up onto the porch and cigarette. You're ahead of me on this one Foster Father comes out, and then it has. Me that maybe this man that the state has put in charge of me might have something to say about this, but it doesn't Instead, he leaned on the really with me

lights zone cigarette and I think this is beautiful. This is just me and him watching the sunset over the pines, beautiful beautiful. He turned to me and he says, I never have no problem with colored yeah and I think well with an attitude like that. How could you. So this man, it turns out, wasn't the prince. You might think he there another foster child there, and he was twelve years old. He had fetal alcohol syndrome and this man like to torture him, and this and also had a dog who was old. I'm dying and he'd like to kick this dog.

It wasn't going well and its becomes this frustration where this is your life, and you can't do anything about it. You can't help him. We cannot. The dog can help yourself, it's like you're, starving to death and there's one source of food, and it's it's apple down between these rocks And you can reach your hand in and grab it, but you can't pull it out while holding it, and this is your life, but on the bus to school there was this cute little brunette sitting by herself knows and above named Janni, and that was usually what I would do. So one day. I asked her if she wanted to be loaders together. She laughed. And I have to tell you that it is so great. Have somebody in your life who laughs so I'm To run the bus everyday and pretty soon we're talking every night on the phone,

that's going to really well, but back at the fuss wrong. Things are getting worse and worse and worse and there's this family foster family get together. Dinner party and during this, the foster father blows up at me and he calls me a black bastard in front of everybody in the road wasn't the first time I heard a racial slur out of his mouth, but it wasn't that it was the rage in his voice and it was the fact that it was a room for the people, and it was the fact that when I looked at every pair of eyes in the room they I'll just went to the floor. I was abandoned and and and completely alone, and nobody had my back This is when the panic sets in where it's fine- they too are to stay, and I have to go so the next morning my caseworker dropped drives me off at the shelter.

and at this point I'm completely accepting of this, because I'm not going to get an eighth foster home is very clear. I'm not going to make it three more years of this place, so this is the best I'm going to do. But I take my allotted phone time at night and I still call Jenny. I'll tell her where I am because I just lost my one chance to go to college. I just left because I move so much. I've lost every friend I've ever had, including her. She just doesn't know it yet and as long as I can keep her on the phone, she want. But eventually slips out, and I can't remember what she said I can think of a reaction. Just remember getting empty again and hanging up.

And I waited the next week to call her. And almost immediately she has the phone to her father now, At this point I have had a lot of conversations and my life about don't call the house again don't come by here, you're a bad influence, but that's not the conversation I have what he says to me is. Would you like to come live with us now, when I tell you that you need to understand that my relationship with Jenny had been only on the phone or on the bus. She never Benda. My house, I never been to hers. And her father, who I'm talking to you right now, had never even met me. He never seen my face. The first contact we're having as right now on the phone. So when he asked me. If I want to do this, my Through got reaction is at all because

have actual blood relatives that did not take me and when I went to foster care, no family had ever done me any good, but my father, raise me from a very young age too. No, it's ok to be scared, but not to ever be stupid. So I said yes and. My caseworker dropped draftsman of journeys, and it is a huge beautiful place, and everybody. There has huge beautiful smiles or father her mother, her for siblings, and your bunch of over in your life. You have never seen none of them in a minus ever and It was the time when I realized that for the first time in my life, I am in over my head because prior to this, everything had been about survival. But this was going to have to be about betterment and achievement.

While this is happening, my father is trying to prove to the state that he's got its act together and eventually we get to a place where we get a supervisor visit now supervise visit means this. It's him and me, in a case worker, in a very stale for recently lit office, and I am petrified because I've always live by these little creed owes that my father has left me, but there's a part of me that things might have made. This just to get through maybe he's the drunk jerk that they think he is. But I need him to be the man that I think he is and I get in there and he's a man. I think he is so Eventually, we get a visit where he gets to kind of journeys and he comes to journeys and they are naturally protective of me and a little trepidations about this-

an old piano, and I mentioned you know my father play the piano. When I dont say is that my father is a world class jasper just so when he says down to play the piano the they more beautiful than the sound coming out is the sound. Of all the families jaws hitting the floor at once. I'm sure it was a really surreal moment for them. He becomes real to them as well, and they began to champion me and him and asked getting together and eventually I go back to live with him and eventually I go to college and. the other day. I was talking to Jenny about this very thing, and I told her that the thing that sticks with me about it is that I was a really angry kid. I wasn't a good kid and these people took me in By no means did I pay them back with kindness. When I was there, I was still

very very angry. And it hangs on me that I didn't treat them as well as they treated me and agendas, Remember you being a barricade, I think, you're being too hard on yourself. I can't tell her she's right and I two hundred myself or, if she's justice kind as somebody raised by her parents should be. He knew what he needs me singer. Songwriter himself described fancy guitar player, see pictures of Jenny and of Samuels family and find out more about his music on our website. If you have a story like to tell go to them, I thought organ leave us a two minute pitch. We listen to every

and sometimes will call you back to hear more remain And play your pitch on the radio like this one from funds. I remember as a story about my mother, who was a baby sitter were all life passed away last year from advanced all timers mother lived in LOS Angeles, she loved. Maybe she loved them some money people with infants everywhere, but they were in their in their arms and cars are in a high chair and asked if she could hold them ugly, babies, cute babies didn't matter. She was an equal opportunity, baby napper. One time I took her to the supermarket, where she love to wander

I was like a child anyway, no sooner where we in the store, then she saw a cute baby girl in the stroller smiling at her, and I couldn't restrain her. I left her there briefly Tender Tanner's help figuring she'd, be distracted for a couple of minutes. All of a sudden, I heard a loud scream. I know exactly what it happened. I searched everywhere for her. Then I spied Mamacita through the glass plate. When do the markets, she was in the parking lot walking faster than I've ever seen, her walk almost trotting. I ran out and stopped her as I asked her, not sure what she was doing. She was claiming to have when the baby and some supermarket lottery as if it were a Thanksgiving Turkey, which

baby oddly resembled know. I explained to her in Spanish. That contest was last week we'll come back next week and try again she nodded and handed over the baby. Just to the store security guard sprinted towards us, the worried parents trailing behind her. I apologize and explain to them what it happened. They seem to be the most excitement. They've seen all week and I'm talking about my mother and the baby, I abandoned the groceries that I left inside the store and escorting my mother home. I consented Cupones. Para Comprar lost their bed. Yes, I agreed with her we neglected to bring the coupons and that's why we couldn't buy the baby. She smiled was the last time I saw her smile. She was happy. She was eighty seven years old when she passed you're, not from abandoned all families. In the end she herself and become a maybe you can pick your story at the mouth dot org and when you do don't forget to tell us where your local

Did we produce, shows around the country and we're always looking for local storytellers, coming up. A woman goes out on alleged to help a young man. Do, the moths radio hours produced by atlantic public media, which all Massachusetts and presented by the public radio Exchange, Pierre Ex DOT, Org.

This is the moth radio, our from pr acts, I met bulls and Last story comes from: Cheryl Hamilton show originally from Auburn name and shame. the chance to tell this story in her home state at the State Theater Portland here, Cheryl Hamilton live at the mall, it's two thousand and one and I'm teaching a wilderness search and rescue class and New Haven Connecticut which is kind of crazy, because I don't know anything about search and rescue. I just needed a job and I embellish my room and when the directors Ask me during the interview what my qualifications were. I said I'm from me. and they

being an now I'm standing in a field teaching a bunch of international high school students had a fine north on a compass and uh sure if you're aware, but there is actually not a lot of wilderness in new having Connecticut so I have to help my class and that in this park in the middle of town, it's called EAST Rock Park and is called eastern part because when you drive- ninety five. You can actually see this gigantic rock face up to the side on the left hand, side, and it has a big statue on top and this black railing that keeps people off the ledges and it's you know it's where families go to help picnics and in the park and so on. This one day were finishing up class and the bus driver who meets this at the summit says to me sure I think what you know. I think, when you're stew, since climbed over that lead railing and he's sitting down the ledge.

Pretty sure that I have all my students. But I'm curious, so I say: go check it out and as I get the railing I look over and there is this person sitting low and he's about the size of a teenager, and he has great t shirt on an slick black hair. So again, I'm curious, so I climb under the railing and I walked down the sore rocky path and, as I get close, I realize he's not one of my students he's actually like twenty to twenty three, my age and he's sitting pretty close to the ledge, and so I walk. But now I'm like close enough to him that I kind of have to say something so, unlike K, how's it going everything all right And he looks at me, doesn't saving at first and then he says do believe in life after death. And I realise that I am in a situation now that this guy is in trouble.

And I M gonna help you see I come from a family in May, and that has a bunch of police officers and emergency room nurses. We like crisis and we were brought up to help. And so I'm going to sit there and talk to this guy except I have a problem which is that my enormous Students are still back on that bus and I have to get back to camp and I don't really want to away from this guy now some kind of torn, and so I looked, an I'm wearing this orange lanyard that all the counsellors have to wear with our keys on it, and I quickly take it off the my neck and wrap it up in my hand,. I handed to him- and I say: can you hold onto this is really important and he looks at me and he's confuse rightfully so, and I say I'll be right back and I raised up that path and I get up to the bus, and I tell the bus driver, take my kids back to school and that please call the police and then I raised

down that same path and there's a get closer. I'm glad to see him still sitting there holding the lanyard and now this ledge, it's it's about the size of a living room, couch and I'm not scared of heights. But it is a four hundred feet drove up to the ground and I'm going to sit next. the him. So I sit down and I'm trying to find a way to sort of you, no secure myself and I see a little rock peace sticking out and I stick my heel into it to sort of veal, grounded and then look out and is a beautiful I mean the skies are super bright, blue and you can see Newhaven Bay in my like in the distance, and I could see at Yale Campus where my camp is actually being held and

You know for a second. I actually forgot why I was sitting there. It was so nice and then you know reminds me, and so I don't really have a strategy at this point I mean, but I decide that I'm gonna talk him back. On the summit, I mean that's what I'm gonna do or a new. No until the police gets there and folks, I don't know anything about search and rescue, but I know a lot about talking pretty good at talking, and so I'm just going to talk to him and that's what we do and I find out pretty quickly that his name is long and that he's from a large vietnamese family and oh he's a mass major. This gradual college like I did and he loves math and he actually teaches a bunch of students in the neighborhood about math. And I tell him that I'm a human rights, major and I'm excited go to Africa, because I do not want to help people, and that I love swing dancing and

He tells me that she loves music and I'm feeling pretty good because we're, connecting so then I say you know So what are we doing here and he says: there's boyfriend broke up with him the night before and he's Harper He says that he really wants to tell us family but he's afraid that they'll disown him and now I don't know what to say. I mean I'm, not gay, and I cannot imagine a situation that my family would ever disowned me, but I then broken up with, and I know it sucks, and so I tell him about some of my breakups and I try to empathize, and I say how hard it is and were again and I'm feeling good because he's just told me something a really personal thing in his until his family, and so I keep talking to him and then my coworkers show up and everything changes. He looks back and I I guess he panics, because he starts to get up and

balls at his feet and I grabbed the back of his shirt and unlike long, what are you doing in he's kind of an up a leap, frog position, and I can feel him shaking in my palm and honestly shaking a little bit- and I say you know long what's going on and I'm trying so hard to keep my my voice measured like that. When the movies and unlike listen, we can walk out of here Now, if you just keep saying to me, you shouldn't be here: Cheryl, you shouldn't be here, you should go, you shouldn't be here and I I'm not going anywhere that you know we're gonna sit here and if you want to keep talking we're just gonna talk and then the police arise, and I am so relieved because I did I talk just long enough to keep them on the ledge and soil, look back and then all of a sudden he's gone. he's gone and I am looking around I'm trying to find him and I'm completely. Oriented I mean he was just here.

and then I lunch for the of the cliff and I feel this offers hand push against my chess and he's holding me back, and I am sorry every swear word I have ever learned and just saying no. A few minutes later, I'm sitting in the same field where our talk, the students, how to use a compass- and now I'm the one shaking I am holding on the ground is sitting on all fours, because I need to feel something in my hand again and the police officer and I'm keeping everybody except the police officer comes over and he says: do you want to somebody and only number I can remember in moment. Was my parents and main, and I call my parents and my dad picks up and he's cheerful as usual and unlike dad and on trying to get across the story and I'm just mumbling and all of a sudden. I said any jump jumped.

And my dad, he let us sound that I have never heard him make its the same. Sound is feeling in my stomach and then he asked me is your life. I don't know dad. I don't know. And all I remember was sitting in that field and just so confused I mean you Didn'T- have to jump. If so, then I'm shaking some more and I keep starting to think about like what am I gonna tell people if they asked me What are they could tell the police or his family, and I start wondering like do I tell him that he was Kay do I tell him those parents, or you thought his power? we're just on me, and I just can't shaking, and I remember that my coworkers came over and they are trying to consult me out just like away. Eventually, the police officer came back.

over any put his hand on my shoulder and he said, he's alive, he's pretty banged up but he's alive. I couldn't believe it as much as I completely never ever thought that he would jump. I couldn't believe it. He survived that for and in the weeks following people, ask me if I went to the hospital that day in a check on him and the truth is I didn't I thought about sending in the orange lanyard and a note, but I couldn't figure out what I would write in letter and the truth is We didn't really know each other. I mean we talked for, like thirty minutes and so we were strangers, except that I also felt embarrass and James. I was a naive twenty two year old that stage human rights and thought I could change the world, and here I was in my first. Opportunity- and he jumped- I also felt really bad, because

cap yelling at me in those last five minutes you shouldn't be here, you shouldn't be here, Cheryl and maybe it was right, maybe he's like me when I'm upset, I just go the ocean just because I want to feel small. I just go there the absurd and then you know I come back. Maybe this was his ocean, maybe sitting on the ledge and then I walked in and most of all people are also asked me. You know what you do it again and as a really hard question for me, I think about a lot and the truth is I would I would go back down the ledge again. Except this time when I would sit down next to him, maybe not. As close. I would know that. As much as you want to help people, it's really not that easy. Thank you.

Cyril, human shields and writer woman, if you'd like to find out more about Cheryl or any of the other storytellers in this. Our word listen again to the stories you heard you find them on our website. The moth dot org That's it for this, our thanks so much for listening and we hope you'll join us again next time for the MOSS radio. Our baby is made also directed the stories of the show there.

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