« The Way I Heard It with Mike Rowe

Episode 99: My Little Machine

2018-05-01 | 🔗

A truly democratic machine and the man who didn't invent it.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey there. It's my grow, and this is the way I heard the only podcast the curious mind with a short attention span. I've been thinking, and rather than sell the incredibly valuable piece of real estate that precedes the unforgettable story, you're about to hear too many of my loyal sponsors this month. I'm gonna keep it for myself so that I might suggest to you with great humility that you consider giving my book as a Christmas present like the story you're about to here. The book is called the way I heard it and modesty aside, I don't think you'll find a more appropriate gift out there. The reviews are excellent it's an official New York Times best seller and everybody tells me they hear my
voice in their head. When they read it now I don't know if that's enough, that's a good thing or bad thing or weird thing, but it's definitely something go to micro dot, com book. That's my crow dot com book there still a few autographed copies left. If you'd like one just click on autographed copy stuff it in a stocking wrap it in brown paper or slap, a bow on my giant face and give it to somebody loved or liked, or somebody just simply feel obligated to buy a gift for either way it's at micro dot com book. This is the way I heard it Louis looked at the site before him and side what a mess hanging Chad's dangling Chad's swinging Chad's call them what you will hundreds
those little round caps had failed to properly separate, and now the whole country was freaking out. As pundits and partisans argued over intent, operator, error and a disenfranchised said. It occurred to Louis that while humans might crave democracy, they were poorly equipped to preserve it. Lois designed a machine that would eliminate the problem of dangling chat once and for all. Then he took his prototype to Congress, where it was championed by a politician named Joe Joe, had run on a platform that promised equality for everyone, equality in the schools, equality in the world place: equality wherever possible, though initially uncomfortable with Louis's solution, understood that a machine would be more objective than a human and would in fact eliminate operator error, so Joe presented Louis's design.
Congress and argued for its immediate implementation. Justice he said requires that everyone be treated the same, especially when the stakes are this high, but then just spoke the words he would live to regret the rest of his long and tortured life, my little machine, he said we'll do the work in the twinkling of an eye. Remember when Al Gore told Wolf Blitzer, I took the initiative in creating the internet. Remember how that little, Pronoun came back to haunt him. Remember the way the media teased him at every turn. For what seemed like an exaggerated claim. While this was Jos Al Gore moment the next morning, the papers published images of Louis's invention right next to you the last name and the words he had spoken the day before my little machine, and that was
editors and comedians, where relentless accusing Joe of stealing Louis's idea Joe try to set the record straight, but it was little somebody wrote a song called my little machine that rind nicely with joy, Those last name the song, went viral and by the time the next election rolled around Louis's envy, action now universally known as Jos little machine was in every precinct working round the clock guaranteeing that no more of those Chad's would hang and no more citizens would go home feeling disenfranchised. Incidentally, if you haven't seen in it in action. Jos little machine really is a wonder. Not only Does it eliminate operator error? It increases public turn out when it debuted hundreds of people were lined up to try it. Out and thousands more showed up to watch all while chanting, Jos name
Naturally Joe was mortified. He begged the government to rename the machine. The Louis set, which he argued was more fair. All things considered, but words like elections, have consequences and Jos words would ultimately, DR his own family. To change their name in order to escape the association he foisted upon them. As for Louis, the actual Ventre he held on to his name but lost a good deal more like so many of his countrymen and Twond Louie was accused of crimes against liberty, wherever that meant and quickly sentenced without a trial in the public square. They strapped him onto the roller board, face down before the crowd
and wheeled him into position on the positive side and Twond Louie didn't have to worry about intent or operator error. Now, thanks to him, human executioners were no longer factor. I refer, of course, to the headsman experienced profession, Those whose practiced swing would remove your noggin with one perfectly placed blow, unless, of course, you lack the means for a proper gratuity. In which case you would receive a glancing blow that would leave your rounded cap dangling from what remained of your partial, severed neck hanging there like a Chad on a ballot that would never be counted as you
Waited in agony, hoping the next swaying might finish the job before you bled to death in front of the jeering mob. Now at one Louie didn't have to worry about any of that. Nor did he have to worry about being burned at the stake or drawn in quartered or skinned alive or broken into little piece just want to stretch naked upon the dreaded wheel or any of the other medieval punishments popular in Paris back in one thousand, seven hundred and ninety two, all those methods were replaced. You see when Joe persuaded the french government to execute everyone the same way, regardless of their race, gender class or age viva in just nine months, Antoine Louis,
thirty thousand of his countrymen were decapitated by a machine that he designed a machine named after a politician who wanted to eliminate the death penalty but settled instead for making it a lot more humane, alot, more egalitarian and to his everlasting horror, a whole lot more efficient, such is the legacy of Joe and the little machine that still bears his name. A little machine called the guillotine anyway. That's why I heard
Transcript generated on 2019-12-31.