« The Tony Robbins Podcast

The Power of Unconditional Love | An exclusive conversation with Sage Robbins

2022-05-06 | 🔗

We’re all here together in this Earth School learning, doing the best we can, making mistakes, picking ourselves back up. The soothing balm that keeps us going is often another’s kindness, caring, connection, and love. Its power is truly transformational.

If you think of any great mother, real or archetypal, they have a capacity to love unconditionally – to accept, to allow, to give, to understand, to listen, to nurture. A mother’s love brims with compassion and mercy. Even when their beloved has behavior that may be less desirable, there's still a universal knowingness and a loving essence for the human heart before them.

That unconditional aspect of love is what is discussed in this one hour special edition episode. Hear Tony, Sage, and Mary B converse on what it means to sponsor life.

There's a beauty to life. The mess of it, and the sweetness of it, and the pain of it. And so, it's not to say that there aren’t challenges and that there isn't pain in moments like right now with what's happening on the world stage. But we can contribute to the schism, or we can be a balm. We can be a balm of kindness, and goodness, and look to bring love, light, illumination, presence, connectedness, to be an ear to listen. It's amazing how that can shift another's world. I know what it feels like for me to receive that. I know what it feels like to offer that. And I think that’s a beautiful reality that sometimes in the busyness of life, we can forget how impactful in a moment we can touch another. That we can reach another. That we can move another. That we can remind each other because we're mirroring each other and as we're offering that we're experiencing that. Everything that I'm saying to you in this moment, it's really all selfishly for myself. Life is such a beautiful house of mirrors. We're all reflecting each other.

- Sage Robbins

  • How you can “sponsor” life
  • How to tap into the powerful divine energies that flow through us all
  • What life lessons two new moms have learned already  


[2:00] Sage Robbins on “sponsoring life”

[7:38] Mary B. & Sage on masculine and feminine energies and archetypes

[13:58] On a mother’s unconditional love

[14:56] In birth as in death

[17:49] The teacher becomes the student

[18:11] Tony pops in studio

[23:10] Nurturing/Mothering of self

[28:45] “You have influence over your children but you don’t have control” - Tony Robbins

[31:37] The Serenity Prayer

[35:08] Hello, I'm alive! We’re spinning on this planet, and my heart is beating!

[36:10] Social media shifts when

[37:22] As Ken Wilber would say, it’s “grit and grace”

[38:28] Be a balm in this world

[39:31] Sage and Mary B’s personal journey to motherhood

[44:51] Kahlil Gibran on children

[46:40] What’s the meaning of life? And other big questions

[47:16] Modern families and unique constellations

[50:42] Divine energies

[52:28] A newborn’s innate intelligence

[55:25] Magda Gerber and the RIE school of thought

[58:20] The label vs. the experience

[1:03:03] Happy Mother’s Day to all

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hello there it welcome to a special edition of the tone you up my name is mary beef and I'm here was saved. Robins lonely be hanged. Travellers and you know we're sitting down and the impetus of this addition. This episode of the park happens to be mothers day. Twenty twenty two but we want to make a special announcement right out of the gates in that we don't want this to be another podcast, it's just for moms for moms by moms. That's now. This is at all so disclaimer right right. I front that this is a conversation for everyone. And having said that, I do want to ask you sage what is mother,
to you and then why should everyone stick around for this congress? station don't don't turn it off. Yet, if you're like a year ago, a conversation from from arms again. Well, it's beautiful thinking, maybe You know, I think the definition and the reality of motherhood has evolved over the years. For myself, an expert Essentially, you know me one path to actually being a biological mother and being a mother has been over a twenty one year, flight, and die. What I recognise now having a child is that mother energy has been alive and may always and
as a younger woman. I wanted that selfish identity over our longing to be a mother and dad at times when I didn't recognize the gift of like mother energies were already flowing through me. You know, I think, the almost like a a broader view from today's standpoint. The way I perceive it is in the way I said his motherhood foot is really it's sponsoring a life and I've had the gift we ve had the gift. You know we're both new mums at this stage to experience that with a child, and yet I also recognise that every day in my life every day of all of our lives life gives us an opportunity to serve life, to sponsor life, to suit. You know: to support life, to love life and and an individual that that through you know, helping support an animal or you know taking care of our parents. I think that's the beautiful gift of this rhythm and this cycle of life of life comes first,
a call and allows us to touch it in a meaningful way. So I think there were may always female. We all have both you know, but and father energies within us and I you know at this stage I think just the awareness of and the cultivation of mother energies is what really heels you know, if you think of every great special there who is well in mind. You know she has the capacity to unconditionally, ah love except allow understand, you know, she's compassionate, even if you know her, love it or her. Child has behaviour that may be less desirable there's still may be consequences, but there's theirs there is a universal knowing within her of knowing her beloved essence- and I think you know in the world today somehow that's been lost. You know last of the innocents that were
all here and we all meet in this. You know thing called or school and you know we're all doing the best we can and we all miss at times, just like our children. Well, you know we can all make mistakes, but that unconditional aspect of love. It changes the world, and it changes our life by experiencing that, as as a mom I mean, I don't know for yourself, but it certainly it's. You know a changed mind, but it also makes me recognize that, oh my gosh, this was happening For I was ever mother, and this is happening- the day of my life when you know, were able to serve those around us, wow siege, that's a really beautiful notion,
I love that and there was a lot in there. So I want to follow up on a few things. Of course, the notion of unconditional love and the way it can be a bomb and change our lives and our world. But the other thing that you said that I just find so interesting is that we we sponsor. life, that motherhood to you is sponsoring life so again before we lose those high powered alpha achievers out there if we haven't lost you yet if you're listening to this, I hear that this really truly is not just for mothers, because, as you heard sage say, you call it sponsoring life
it's not kind of specific to any gender or any anything. It's that's a very interesting word to use to me the word sponsor. I want to know what that means to you cause to me. It conjures up images like in the connotation say, for example, in the context of a a, for example like your your father, yes, who has over fifty years of sobriety, and he is such a such a unique example. He sponsor so many. men in the programme who answer sponsorship to me as want who kind of takes responsibility too, and two or two you called it sponsor life. I think that's a really beautiful way to say it. I think that means to me to advocate for life and has an teacher as a coach as a chaperone as a match. I just want to put there were do it. So, yes, father what else you know, what else does that mean sponsor of life? Why
you think you know generally it's like. We offer our life in service to another, so whether it's you know gosh it expresses in so many different forms, obviously, I know you mentioned, you know a my mommy and daddy are both. You know in the program and they certainly sponsor people, there's opportunities for us to offer our life in a meaningful way to offer, our time. Sometimes it's not even being a teacher mentor see no, sometimes it's actually just being an ear. And ah you know, having another feel scene and appreciated and loved in a meaningful way- down there, so many roles and identities that we could put on now I mean you can really think of any role, and I feel like those roles. Dennis. They offers us a thread if we really connected to our hearts- and we are
I stand why we're put here on this planet and to really connect and to be present with others and to offer our life in service to another. I think that that's, I think we're all called to do that and we do it in oliver own unique way. I think that's you know it all comes together at all, expresses in its own unique way. Some people really have- passion for animals and their sponsoring animals may be helping them through a shelter. You know, saving them out of you, know, slaughter or something of that nature or, and it can touch we. You know life expresses in and animates through us in such unique ways and but I think that's how I perceive at this stage of my life, motherhood, specially looking back to when I quote on coal, wasn't her mother. She was expressing those mother energies, the universal right. You know when you say mother energies. I think you know when we ve talked about this before tony talks about it, especially at his pipe
graham your programme date with destiny, whom that there is a kind of masculine and feminine energy that we all four, The wall we all have both some spectrum of both and there's a wholeness to that, and so in the same way that you and I, as women, have access to our masculine, whose aim way men have access to their feminine and there are many archetypal historical examples of of mud divine energy. So maybe you could speak too that a little bit about these long standing examples that we have in our culture, different cultures, express them different ways, yeah examples that come to mind for you, I'm sure, gosh. If you look back historically at ancient cultures and societies, mother divine was utterly revered. Throat, egypt, greece, throughout the east. There is different archetypes all the many faces
other divine and how she expresses an usually unique to the culture. If you look at modern religion today, whether because policies and mother, mary, ah beloved guadeloupe pay from next co, Kuan, Yin the embodiment of compassion and mercy lady Torah from tibetan culture lineage and is well kali undergo from india from the east. They all express fractals or them any faces of mother divine? Yes, that's right! Oh, I love the different arc types and new and twenty each citizen in your platinum seminar, even the different arc types of woman, we were speed. with a friend of ours, the other day who was talking about the four mothers in judaism, Sarah rebecca channel and leah. You know, Personally, I grew up in a household seat in the catholic faith. My
His father went to an elementary school. He grew up in new york city. He went to an elementary school in queens called our lady of perpetual help, which is just a notion. I really love as away one way to refer to the the blasted mother. There's one way to refer to the blessing mother is the entire of knots, yes or lady of gold and happiness, and all these different are. You know, queen of peace comforter, to the afflicted these ideas and to me when I think about what being a mother, what tapping into feminine energy means that is the essence of what I strive for and in in times when I, when I feel out of balance, that's what I hope to get back to us these. These core essentials, like on tying knots like ass golden happiness and comforting the afflicted. I think that's to me the essence of the university
he of motherhood, but I do think that that wholeness is found in men and women and children as we see her little one. Yes, that just I mean it just these children just brim with this. Naturally- and it's it's it's beautiful to recognize the you know divine attributes that we're all born with you now and you expressed, I mean they can get such a beautiful metaphor at the entire have not if you think of any while minded mother, you know when our little ones are conflicting, are having a challenge. You know you help them through your love, to your compassion to your empathy and those moments to help too, untangle any knots internally within minder end up sadder through inquiry, asking a question that helps bring a broader perspective. That's why
of its nourishment it's it's mercy, its compassion. All the forgiveness knew no. Once again, it's like you know if our child, if your child, has a behaviour that is less ideal, there's such as the vastness of of accept and send a vastness of forgiveness cause it's our nature when we are in our essence, to express at its our nature, to offer that lovers just exe ending you know through us when we are in our tool in our, who nature in a true essence, siege. That is beautiful, and I love the words that you're putting to it the vastness of forgiveness, the nourishment the mercy, the compassion and who you mention. The word compassion, of course, a few times here,
one. You know about a word nerd, and one little fact I just am tempted to bring up here is that I've learned that in hebrew, the word for compassion shares the same route word in hebrew as the word womb, yes, and so this likeness between compassion in womb, I think, is a really interesting connection. And even sometimes in seminars, if you guys have ever been with, we had in a seminar you might have. You may have heard him ask well what, if your child had the most horrific behavior you Imagine imagine the worst case scenario. Wouldn't you still your child, and, of course you know you would frowned. Upon their behaviour if it was if it was truly, though the most horrific thing you can imagine, but I mean take it to the extreme. Wouldn't you still loved your child. Yes and undoubtedly the person always says yes, of course, I would no matter what my child did. I would love them that there would never be
lack of love and so again here sat essence of the universality of what we're talking about and why it's not just for mothers, because imagine if we could extend that kind of unconditional love and accept in every direction, not just to her own children, but did the virus, to the far right, whatever think of the people that make you go not them. Yes, but what would a world look like if we could all love each other with that? My mother's love? Well in a world that we see stricken with war right now when people say what's the answer, I think there is a hint of it somewhere in what we're talking about right now. I agree- and I think you know in an external world right now where there is such confusion and discord and externally blaming and sometimes innocently, shaming, or you know this versus you know good verse
it's bad or you know this side vs that side, I dunno, there's a sweet middle ground in in that space of an understanding and and connectedness to recognizing. I think, just the human experience we're all I it's where we all meet. You know we all have our trials and tribulations and we all have circumstances that are painful. Our little ones have circumstances that are painful a moments and ah the beautiful gift of holding the space for another. You know the beautiful space of a presence of being ness of a lot of times. We think that we have to do something- and I think it's also others the gift of of not doing actually just sitting with somebody sitting with somebody. If you never had the privilege to sit with somebody when their transitioning leaving this earth, theirs is much of, sweetness and a beauty, and that reality is there is birthing into this existence. I've had the privilege to be with a few different individuals
and I don't know, there's just such a and a likeness cause, there's nothing else. But do you know the the boy of that momentum. Ever life is so ripe and such a beauty, I think, that's once again. his mother energy. She renews she restores she offers she gives of herself and adapting and tuning to the circumstance. You know, I think, once again, it's again a great mother walks in
You know you're you're, feeling and you're tuning to the room or to your family and seeing what's needed or not needed, and I think that's the gift of our awareness and and practice as an offering both the gift of a mother and father energies both because they both have a place. We just happen to be speaking of of the noticeable yes and you hit there on several kind of virtues and values that, whether it's offering and nurturing- and you know, a curiosity, a holding the space of compassion, an assumption of innocence, of a loving and all loving nature are there. What do you think are the important values and virtues to instill in children? It, or maybe it's too, you know
to exemplify yourself as a as a mother as apparent as sponsor of life to beautiful question. My experience in what I recognise is that these little ones come through with such wisdom such knowledge such nay, joy and capacity to love and to connect so. I dont know that were instilling, but I do feel that you know for us to be an example of a beautiful human being. Whatever that looks like for you, ah you know to embody until live the attributes cause. We can't ask of another what were not offering or living ourselves, whether that be kindness in an down consideration or gratitude of life. It so interesting has ike from my own and my own path and watching. you know this our little one here developing and grow and evolve, it's not
when all I want is her happiness, you I have no expectation of what she should be or shouldn't be I just I I want what she wants. You know, I think, love wants what you know of the other wants. I just I want what makes her happy, which she feels attracted to are pulled tourists. You know and- and I think that ah I dunno- I think- that's and it's different than I I thought it would be, because I think there would be so much more that I would be teaching her and I've never felt more. Like a student, I've never felt more like just learning by watching by observing and actually doing less Oh, we have a visitor center in the high teller institute. Tony,
or do I just have to say, where's your camera here or there he is yes. I just wanted to say that these are the two best moms they know and the best people to cover this subject, because they don't just some other little ones: the mother, everybody they allowed they're just bring up level one. Eleven only mothers know how to give to everybody. I want you guys know I'm your biggest fans and for all those listening hope. You really enjoy this I have cats, and I hope you have a magnificent mother's day of you honey. Thank you tone. Well, that was a nice surprise and you know tony brings up an interesting point right there, because your path to motherhood was a journey as it is for so many couples and for so many women men, folks of all strokes, mothers and others. Anyone who's wanting to bring a child into the world. It can truly be a journey
and so yours was over two decades, but we know that you, of course, were above her. You embody this energy. Well before you quote, unquote became a mother but even that I don't even like to put that language to it, because I think it's, it's important that we mark that out here explicitly is that the path to motherhood is not just carrying a child or even having it like this is this is not that and you were a mother and embodied this mother energy long before this baby got here and I'm wondering if you could speak to, I mean those of you know stage well, everyone around us here in our inner circle, every the kind of calls her mamma my mom and dad so she was a mother to many before this little person came to earth and I'm wondering if you could
de. I would assume that you felt that that you felt that that was it of your role. Even then, yes, and how is that different in and when you talked about specifically about being a mob before before baby, without baby, not even just but for without baby altogether. You know it's true. I feel, like I've been a mum, my whole life, whether its taking karen mothering, my family, are. I have a soft spot for elderly people. You know those that enter this whole, my right work, space or sphere. Ah or even animals. Not just people thought enough. She does not discriminate animal species, squirrels birds, you name it if it rocks up our, I will comment on another. I definitely have a soft spot for animals in your head is beautiful pelican. That was all entwined and entangled
with fishing wire- and I you know it was like one of the magic moments of my year last year, just the interaction helping this little one get free and and duh. So it was a you know: it's been a longer journey than expected to motherhood, and I I started gosh. I think the first time I ever cared life. I was in my mid twenties and it was the first time I also miscarried. I was around twenty six or twenty seven. I was five and a half months or five months pregnant, and at that time you know, I will never forget the
you know grieving the loss of the longing. All those are realities to that experience and at the time I didn't have the wisdom I have now. You know I can look back now and really see the perfection of life and and watch olive life unfold. So perfectly, and- and you know my experience was as I let go of what I wanted. I know this sounds crazy, but you in my twenties, late, twenties early thirties. I very much wanted to have a child, and you know there's so many external pressures, and you know only dynamics cycle cash when you gonna have a little
when, when are you going to hit any mean, and so you know it was, I think it was collective and as well. It was my own and that it was for me and, as I surrendered that is, I accepted what life was offering me. Life was so much more beautiful than what I was desiring and I didn't know it at that time. You know, I think, that's a beautiful gift of evolution as we as human beings. It's like you know. We have through life where it humbles us and opens us and tunes us and and through that process of surrender and accepting what life was offering me and no. This life became that much more beautiful cause. Ah you know this path was chosen for me in I showed up- and here I am after all these years, and it's you know, looking back in hindsight, we and others at a different level of wisdom and context, two things but they're, just such a sweet beauty to journey that I've been on? I had my own mothering of myself that
didn't even know why, even needed. I I problem even at that stage of my twenties. I didn't even recognize you know the awareness me. I think I looked at. Motherhood is and likes it as an extension of that, my own ignorance, I didn't recognize that it was also as an inflow and receiving, of course, I'm a great lover. There's a giving and receiving there's an offering in an ex you know, or of receiving both perspectives happening, and I think, as there was in, I experienced a number of miscarriages in my thirties as well and and cashews so many times that it felt like, and you know I would, I would never be quote: unquote a biological mother, but what happened to that journey? It is. It was my own path back to my own wholeness. You know- and I think you know we already are- that it's probably just the recognition of that and part of that path was actually learning to nurture
myself. You know what I would extend to another. What I would I love you know, I'm a lover. I love to take care of people like people lap. and yet I would feel so natural for me to do that to anybody in my proximity and yet did I always take the time to take care of this body and being- and I didn't I didn't and diana, and I think at this stage to life experience, but I am also just looking back. I recognise like oh my gosh, I'm so grateful that this little one came now cause I you know, stumbled upon through grace gift of nourishing and mothering, my own self- and I think that there's you know another thing that you and tony teach at nearly every program is you know when you're on that airplane and and there's turbulence do they say. Ok put europe,
such a massive on you. First, it's like you router sitting next to an infant. So when you speak about mothering of self and letting that love come to yourself first, in the importance of that guess, whether you do have children for you oh, so that you can be your best self for them more, whether you don't have children, there is even when he in the in beginning there, when you mentioned as a sponsor it off. It reminds me of anyone who is in what you're in the programme or whether he had any kind of so bring up of any kind. If you have to leave it, old self and give birth to a new identity that you do have to kind of mother yourself through a transition, and you after be there for yourself in a way that almost that no one else can, but you they true, and so there's that kind of you know
and show survival oxygen, mass kind of love that special fear at a point like that. That also has to be celebrated link all those who have made that transition as well and- and I think you know whether it be addiction but even without addiction. You know we're all you know, pulling out pieces back of your hand and do we all, I think, there's life in bursar's, like the. I can look at a picture of myself a year ago, five years ago, ten years ago and think oh, my gosh like, I've compassion for her. You know why I see her,
and- and you know from this perspective, a little more life experience a little more wisdom, and you know it sake. I would choose differently today than I did a year ago and and once again I think that's the gift that this human experience offers us is the gift of evolution, the gift to begin again, the gift to be reborn the gift to renew to restore, and I think that that's the essential energies of mother energies. As that restoration- and and that's the beautiful gift when you're holding the space for another foot through sponsoring life. I love that you've mentioned a a my own parents. You know, as I mentioned, they've sponsored individuals their whole life you know there was always strangers coming into our home and whether it be through the holidays, or you know christmas dinner or something of that nature, and you know
well. The the welcoming I and the celebration with this beautiful human and and it schooled us as children, to accept and to open our heart and our mind, and for she? Sometimes it was like. I just want to be with our unity mean now being in a d. woman and being able to live that reality and pay them. Forward and my own unique way. I don't know, I think, that's the universe. I think that's where we all meat and I really feel like that's the gift, whether you're apparent whether or not whether europe, your longing to be a mother in my longing to be a mom a lot of times
my own suffering because of what life was offering me- was different than my own vino mind of the thought of the way I wanted or perceived it to be. Ah, in those moments I was missing what life was offering me and yet, from this perspective I can look back and be like oh gosh sweetheart. There is so much that was happening. Ah, you know, and so much life to be lived and to be experienced right in front of us, and I think that's the beautiful gift of this journey, we're all on and if you've said in you've said this a few ways using words like acceptance and surrender and out of our control that thread, I've noticed has
and of women through a few of your response is here today and that something to that I think, is so interesting when I think of in the past, I suppose spivey before I became a mom, I think of apparent, I kind of think of more control, and I realise that honestly, what would what would make a great, loving parent is realising that at some point. You have to surrender control not to your child, not hand over the reins, and let you kid you don't do anything you want, but also that Their path is in many ways, while you have it as tony would say you have influence, but you don't have control
and especially you know like we have friends, for example, that have lost a child to an opioid addiction and so to see apparent kind of the tragedies of of parenthood and motherhood do when you have that love immeasurable love, and this is something that you have to at some point surrender and say for whatever reason this child's path is, is out of my control and- and even I at you know, we we both have. We know parents that are outstanding people and outstanding parents, and maybe their children are making decisions that they will
they were making a man could be harmful. In fact, and even that part of that's life, that's not just motherhood apparent that that's it is well. There is a level of surrender. Whatever word feels true. Anyone listening may be surrender its surrender, its acceptance, its acknowledgement that I little me do not have as much control is. Maybe I wish I had but there's like an evolution, and I think that comes especially in in any kind of parenting role of yet this is out of my hands stage. Let it be, you know, let go, but god, as my mom would say, there's something there. It's like I'm just starting now to understand all these little isms and catch phrases that my mom used to make fun of, and now I'm like
she was right. She was so right. You know your mum is lovely, I think you know were blessed with amazing parents and my parents as well like they had two of my siblings. You know with addiction appeared addiction, and you know watching the pain of that watching d. You know that worry. The obsession the ah enabling you know all the dynamics that happen in the human play when its ironic, you know well. I thought I knew what surrender was in my thirties in my twenties. I remember reading books about it's like oh yeah. I surrender all the time. The truth is, as we do in each breath. You know we let go and we come back to a greater truth and but wow you
I think one of the greatest gifts in a is out. You know the notion of one day at a time or their prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things. I cannot change courage to check two things I can in the wisdom to the difference. I said that prayer throughout my entire life, and I remember, praying it and I said the words and I didn't understand the words and, from this perspective, the wisdom in that prayer. you know the wisdom to know what you know what you can change your, what you can't change the wisdom to know that gosh, I'm completely out of control. And that there's you know a larger and larger force that beats our hearts that greece. That brings us, and, I think, surrendering to you know, god of understanding to have you know whatever that looks like for you and I think there's that's where we come to a surrender of peace, and I think that's really what faith
I know what that looks like whether it's in a religion outside a religion in an organization you know life is kind enough. It gives us a choice to find what who, uniquely to ourselves and my parents were super call my mom, you know you mentioned your mama, my mama, As the experience of you know, gosh embodied mother energies and was we're flowing and is overflowing with life with joy with passion playful, ganges, cookies and always nourishing whether it's you know you walk into her home and my parents home, and you just feel like enveloped. You feel hugged by that space and you know my mama's love of life and my parents servitude to life. Just like yesterday, I called my parents, and you know there are seven at this stage and there was a family member that was in the hospital in dealing with some. You know, challenges and depression.
you know my mom and daddy. They were sponsoring life, you know they're looking to be present and just to be an ear until you know- be a mirror to this individual, that their loved, that there are great example it and anyone who knows your mom and dad. You have a big family idea, but there are so many people that no your mom and dad that, like I might but bit to somewhere, one of our events or something and everybody's like oh mom and dad were just like the number of people who call your mom and dad's to mom and dad that's another thing that I just think speaks to the steam that we're
trying to hammer it here is that it's not we're not limiting this to biological children by any stretch, because there are so many ways to sponsor life. Yet to advocate for life to just to be that mentor for someone age aside, it's not it's not even that it's not about it's just about so much where it's love love, let's just call it. What it is truly is when I think it's beautiful to recognize that, like I look at you know, my parents had such a beautiful example, but all the ways that you know they express love all the ways that they support. All the other thoughtfulness, the consideration, the kindness and I was blessed with a remarkable example- and you know you asked me of of what I would want to instill upon. You know our daughter, and I think it's just
that it's it's you know we're we're gifted and blessed with the gift of life we wake up in the morning and say hello, I'm alive! I'm like this! We're spinning on this planet and my heart is beating and like just even sitting here. There's these lights in this microphone, and this is going to be projected out and Some of you are going to be driving to work, hopefully were somewhere doing something and listening to this like that, is crazy. The crazy, sheer miracle of life and I think, to connect to that reality to connect to the beauty to come back to the the the core like there's so much external right. Now, that's distracting us from what's really meaningful and I'll, possibly a broader perception or a broader understanding, rather than what we recognise and our social media what we might read and our social media. What we might hear in the news- and I don't know- I think it's that core since of allowing that you know
calling the mother energies calling them s, calling it essence whatever name you wanna give it our just simply love I think allowing that to lead into extend on social media a lot of confusion there, a lot of people- maybe you know bring something else. You know you know in its, it can be a culture of of sometimes innocently tearing people down or medical
venting of what one doesn't like, or it's like what about just like, offering and being like gosh. You know what like offering kindness offering sincerity acknowledging like. That is how this shifts and it starts with me, starts with you and it starts with each of us recognizing that gosh, I'm I'm here and it's a gift to be alive and and I've been blessed with life you know and and how I live, my life and and how I touch life. I think that's the greatest blessing and gift back to this reality in this existence, and this moment is beautiful
that's really beautiful in the end, and I think I would add too so. No one would even misunderstand that the one you say this whole, you know gift of life, miss blessing of life, that's not to say that it's without you know the challenges. Even and you know you have up you and tony- have a friend in KEN Wilber who this phrase gets thrown around a lot but like grit and grace makes me think of what it is to sponsor life, there's grit in theirs grace. There's this fragility of life, and this fierceness, like we watch a lot of what planet, with our little one You see you and they and their more sitting, this library right now recording this podcasting, there's a giant elephant painting that I'm looking at over stages head and I'm thinking about. We watch this one episode of these matriarchal elements like leaving the pack and it's like the
is equality of it and there's like this spiritual. Well, the fair element that that is taken on to through, and I think also like in a you mentioned about you, know life and you know, there's the beauty of it and and the mess of it and the sweetness of it and the pain of it. And- and so you know, that's not to say that there isn't challenges and that there isn't pain in moments or you know like right now. It's happening on the world stage, but we can contribute to the schism or we can be a bomb. You know we can be a bomb of of of kindness and goodness and and and look to bring. You know love
light illumination. You know, presence connected this to be an ear to listen, it's amazing! What how that can shift another's world. I know what it feels like for me to receive that. I know what it feels like to offer that, and I think it's it's it's a beautiful reality that sometimes in the business of life, we can forget how impact full in a moment that we can touch another We can reach another that we can move another that we can reminded under cause we're mirroring each others were offering that were experiencing added, We think that I'm saying to you in this moment: it's really all selfishly for myself. You know we really that's life. Is such a beautiful house of mirrors ral, reflecting each other. This is true. You note tony always says that in nature there are no straight lines, and certainly my uncle
to motherhood was not a straight line and there was times of disillusionment. There is times of loss, you know for every mother, that's how they that's ever miscarried. You know the grief that can you know pair with that or that you experience who that to that process and also on the other side of that comes deep healing and new burthen rebirth of oneself. I'd different. Then you know the expert, station or the desire to have a child, and I look at all those- it's in my life, that over a twenty year period and the hopes the dreams and the desires and the wants- and there was probably over a ten year decade that I had thought you know what I think the ship has sailed and completely let go of the even the notion of ever being a mother and life continue to surprise me and a united,
pension earlier about. You know self nurturing and- and I healing- and I think that that was probably one of the unexpected gifts of this path was my own personal journey and for those of you oh, are walking this path and maybe you just lost a little one or you're going through. You know certain type of fertility treatments, gis just know that sometimes you know it can look different can be her and down you know. I never imagined that I'd be my late for the forties and being a mom, and those my mind it blows my heart and it's been the most incredible experience of my life and it was so worth the weight. And you know, you witnessed pieces of that journey and all of those things and all the time and effort in the physicality what it took. Four women that are out there, those slip and injections. I to my word- but it was
a wild, beautiful ride, and you know I prayed about it, and I knew that I'd be led, but never in my wildest dreams did. I think that god would send me somebody so sincere and so lovely issue to carry out that a one and so you know look at how you birth life. You sponsored life, you offered life to the citizen, our daughter wouldn't be here without you and you know. I felt that this was important to share because no we're living in a world where you know I don't know it is, I dont know others. Chemicals are hormones, what, but there seems to be more and more families in india. visuals, both men and women, that are having challenges to conceive and like. Said for my own journey, though you know it was a twenty year journey in their. As you know, there is a lot of unexpected loss, but there is also so many unexpected blessing,
and this unique constellation of his family. How it's all come together, blows my mind and heart in may be you know you sponsored life in the most meaningful and unexpected way. Our daughter, wouldn't be here without you, and with the decision that you made that took such incredible courage whose pulled his beautiful it was kind. It was generous and I know I've thanked you, but I thought it was appropriate in this moment to say thank you. You were so gracious in offering to carry out that a one is a surrogate. I was an well to carry. As you know, hand I have a rare genetic disorder and so you know I never My wildest dreams in my deepest height of prayers, could have, I imagined god sending. Somebody is sincere and true issue. So, thank you got a good,
thank you never in my wildest dreams, either have must say, and this has been such a gift to me, and I don't know, even quite where to begin with, I did not think it would end in our little modern family- that is created there's. No. What you could have told me that ten years ago- and I wouldn't have believed you- how could I by necessity, is the there of invention and getting to know you and tony as I was as I did and hearing that this was something that you would need that you would needs some one to make this happen and even discuss it whenever we never had a conversation about it and people ask me like how did this even come about and it was like an understanding, a happening of when I found out that they will need some to carry all of a sudden there was this voice, and I never had any intention,
of having children myself, but it was just like I'll do it. I would love to do that and to be able tat to be a mother. is something I never thought I would get to experience, and I am so grateful that that I have this gift. Thank you both lucky me. Lucky me you knew I was going to share you know when we, when our child was just born free of my came over and they had a little gifts and it was a frame of clear will: go bronze poem on children, and I remember I read it at the moment at that moment and cried my eyes out at that the line in the just the notion that your children are not your children, they are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself, and I just think
that idea that you know you look in the eyes of of children. That is what like, when we look at that all the turmoil in what's going on in the world right now as adults, it's scary as adults. It scary as an adult to to watch the news these days and then to think about it in the context of protecting not even protecting. I don't think that's the right word. I honestly don't know that it's about protection as much as it's about sponsoring life and making it you know making the world worthy of the children that we have is there's another quote, Pablo casals that said, make this world worthy of it's children and as I'd, never in my wildest, dreams imagined being a mom and how this has come to be now. It's shifted my whole perspective on what what we're doing here and what the tone
would call it the ultimate outcome. We have many outcomes throughout a day, but what's really your ultimate outcome and purposes to nebulous of a of an idea which I don't think it is. But if you can save yourself like really in penal parents, often talk about kid saying the darndest things it's the kids will ask you that question like you know, what's the meaning of life like what are we doing here? What's it all about it's a good time to think about those questions for all of us, matter who we are? What we're doing, because we're all doing the same thing? Aren't we gotta think that's where we all come together? We have all experienced loss in moments. We have all experienced joy, we have all experienced pain, we evolve experience. You know, I think, that's the flight of the human experience and down sideways colonists, home
one of the gifts of the pandemic and I think it was probably even happening before that is you know. I feel that possible the model of what a family looks like it's ever evolve and yet I mentioned in my own family, how we we fostered It was also his hers and ours. I you know, Daddy was married before my mommy was bare before they had children than they got together, and you know they had me and then we fostered children's other resists, unique dynamic of diversity These worlds lives coming together and then there is chosen family. You know family that, individuals that you know come into your life for a period of time or for forever that you know it has a meaningful impact, and I feel like in today's world bad
family is birthing in new reality of of choice and constellation and weighs about co parenting and how people kind of you know are stepping into what it looks like to be apparent to be a mother to be a father. It's so much broader. A very dear beloved friend of ours, was just over for dinner the other night and he's a single man he's on his own. Ah he's a gay man from I ran, and you know he threw the gift of surrogacy as well. Just had a baby girl and his while he has, as I think, like a two and a half year old son, and I look at this cool man, so fricking, courageous and he's doing it and it was his dream to be a father and he's doing it on his terms and He's such a love he's such a dear heart in I'm just so inspired to be around him.
and to learn from him and to listen to him? Ah- and I think it was such a courageous choice- and I think that's also just for parents that are out there- for those of you that are on the path may be walking this path. It maybe have a longing in your heart. Gosh, there's so many babes in this world that so I could use love. You know there's so many displaced children right now with what's happening in the war on ukraine, and there are so many places of opportunity that you know we can support life, whether it's for a short time period time for your life and life, is so kind because it so uniquely diverse of how it can come together. And I think, when we follow our heart, we follow our guidance, our intuition
and you know our instinct with things and it ah it unfolds and it unfolds so much more beautifully. I have from my own experience than the way I wanted it to. I thought I wanted it to expectation, yes, expectation that we might all have in our younger days and then something else unfolds and it might look nothing like we expected, but isn't it beautiful? Isn't it beautiful? So for those of you watching. Thank you for your willing heart. Send your receptivity to tune in, and let's beautiful, to have a conversation may be a you know, maybe about a month ago, reached out to me in and asked if I'd be interesting in having a conversation, I am saying in bed one night thinking gosh, like motherhood. What does it really mean?
and I I recognise that it so much larger than the identity of mother and that you know we're all blessed in born with intrinsic attributes, and I say there divine because we were all gifted with life, so the source that beach, your hearts, that's what I'm speaking of, and there is a a mother aspect of iter or feminine aspect. of it and a father or masculine aspect of it within each of us whether we are male or female, and I think recognising that gives this tremendous free and gives us tremendous creativity. Ah, and allows us to have access to both within a lot attempts I think, innocently. We think we need to go outside of ourselves to experience that, even though we do have that reflection
but we have a whole universe within sight of ourselves and I think I'm coming into mother's day, it just felt highly appropriate insincere, ah to be able to offer just a sliver of the gift of what it means to be a mother. What it means too, I serve life, what it means to embody and extend and touch upon something sincere, which is those divine attributes of the divine feminine within sight of ourselves. Well said, improvements well said well, as a new mother we certainly are still learning every day. Yes, but I feel like threefold, so much already what have you? What are some of the lessons that you learned already from relating to this little being gosh
I number one how much innate intelligence is already within them, and I think in my own ignorance or projection that you know once a child or an infant is able to identify or to speak, ah that there is a different level of intelligence and but out watching our dog ah express an doubt that she has her when I, when we bring her down in the morning, we have like a little kind of a play, pen and go in there and we called her quite reflection time. it cause she'll yeah right after you know, we give her the bottle and so forth, and then you know will place her in there and, what's so amazing to me, is to watch her laugh to watch her giggle to watch Ah, to watch her wonder to watch trouble. Shooting to watch her exploring and recognising that this, like perfect consciousness. This
essences so alive and a lot of times we as parents. You know we think it's like oh gosh. I am I making her happy You know what I just had made her smile or made her giggle and yes, that might be so. But what is is more accurate in what I experience is just the beauty of her essence that just blowing and I actually have a desire to create more of a space that she can actually experience herself and it's so interesting because you in a world of technology in and devices, and you know whether I pads and so forth, and by the way they all have a beautiful gift and a place in our life. And but you know they also pull our attention outside of ourselves. You know they pull our attention to other people's lives. They pull our attention out of the meant of what were experiencing here and now, and so you know, I e its supply.
I see me of like almost like the not old fashioned, but the simplicity, I suppose, of toys that I just feel attracted to the ones that don't light up, as you know, are the ones that don't entertain she's because they just letting her be with herself and you know in others, there's so much distraction calling ourself exe, eternal and what I recognize as we spend our whole lives trying to return back home. You know speak for myself, you know through practice of meditation and inquiry and prayerful ness, and you know being aware in and catching ourselves to this human experience had sake. You know we're all living that reality to come back home in an just seeing the perfection that their born in that sweetener.
In that reality. I don't want to interrupt it. I really don't. I don't want interrupted it's too beautiful me too. I love that idea of just let them be that less is more. Yes, doulas, that's correct! You know we read a lot of books in this house and since becoming parents We spend a lot of articles back and forth and you sent me one. I think if I was ass, the best parenting advice it I've come upon. Yet No know a brand new? I don't pretend to be an expert by any stretch, but one of the articles he texts me. The other day was remember the article, but it was ten bullet points from the magda. garber, yes, rye philosophy. Right are I e magda garber, the late great, in hungary passed away in silverlake, and she has this philosophy that we should just you know that parents can kind of back off a little bit paraphrasing. That's not what you said
but just that to respect their space at their active learners and explorers and self teachers, and so not to muddle their experience too much keep them safe, and so one of those bullet points that I think, is I forget everything else. The thing that I cling to that's really stuck with me said simply observe more do less yes, and I love that. I love that mantra and it's hard because he's babies are so thinking q and you want to cut illumine play with them in. Sling around, but to have the discernment, which is a word siege that you you so often just to let this child do their thing. There, endowed with their walk on, say, come into the world with so much, and I think we can, as adults with the best of intentions get in there
and what really they don't? They don't mean anything from us, helicopter parent, that's what I gotta innocently. You know. I think. Yes, that might be a touch of hyper vigilance and I practice every day I had to guess ok, you don't let that be or let that go or dont be that mother. But I do you know. Why should she schools me every day and what I most school by? Is this sweetness that pours out of this little ones being its
so beautiful and it's such a beautiful mirror, and it shows me myself. It shows me oliver. You know just that like what pets inside of us that's who we are when we are of right, mind, and while we don't have all the sheds and shouldn't have life or he should she should or, however, that manifests we don't have as byron Katie so beautifully says she calls like the stickies that you know it's like having a a sticky pad and mary. If I'm like you, know, you're too this you're too loud, I put a sticker for your this year that and before you know we're not seeing each other the universe. We gathered a refrigerator covered and posted notes. You can no longer see the refrigerator, that's kind of what we do to each other with our beliefs about each other. Yet they at the limited beliefs about each other and I think, what's so, gorgeous as a as a as a child. Is they don't have those identities in it even walking outside and and
say I think, she's noticing a moon or the eu stars, and I noticed how quick I am to be like oh honey, stars mon, but then it say, what's more beautiful, blue europe, let see I'm I'm and projecting in identifying and putting a label on something but like actually what's more beautiful, her response have just
oh bah, bah or whatever bah bah everything's ba ba, but how cool that, but like every that, use this beauty of of of appreciation of life and so something that we've done for those of you that appearances like say if we go outside and we go for a walk, maybe one time we do identify what we're seeing. So you know yes, we're going for a walk or you know looking at a star or whatever it might be, and we might put identification or label whatever you wanna call on it call it, but then we also look to have time where we're outside and there's no labels. It's just her experiencing cause. It's like you think, like being outside and feeling the wind or feeling the sun or dave there is this little bug and like watching her, like just
I connected this little creature that was crawling on the ground. It's gorgeous, it's beautiful it humbles me. She schools me I've, never learned more about life, never mind myself, nevermind, her and and every day, just a really cool exploration, true will say, drop this was taken for sitting down and having this conversation while we have opened it up so broadly, which grateful. We did. I also want to say, happy mother's day, two of the mothers of all kinds out there happy mother's day, your mother, blah law happy mother's day, mom and happy mother's day to all of you out there that you know are. Already or feminist. Compensation may be moved to touch life that much deeper and looking for a way to connect or serve those around you
so bless you for that reality, and thanks for tuning in thank you, we love you. I think, the moms in your life, whatever they look like they come from call your mother yeah he can do not want to call find one give recall- and I mean look forward to doing this- for fathers take to just to be clear likes. We gotta talk about those debts to sunday, likewise per se, join you everybody link on in, we appreciate it the
Transcript generated on 2022-08-11.