A brief intermission of our 5-part series about the missing flight, we bring you a brand new story from The Faceless Old Woman. Live in LA at Largo.
Our third novel, The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home, comes out on March 24! Pre-order today to get cool, exclusive patches and art. Plus find out about this and our online book events with Joseph and Jeffrey at:
Our March & April live show dates have been postponed. We’ll post new dates when we have them here:
Logo: Rob Wilson
Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin.
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Produced by Night Vale Presents.
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey all Jeffrey created here speaking to you on a bad microphone from a hotel room in Northampton Massachusetts, where we just begin or tour of our brand new life show the hunting of night veil, and just as we began that tour, we had to postpone that tour, its public,
if you understand, and so on,
the process of rescheduling all of our March and April dates in the. U S. Right now, we dont have new dates for you yet, but
Tell you the second: we get them stay tuned. Tour twitter at night fell radio or at welcome, deny Bilbil com slush, live to get updates on our postponements and reschedule dates. If you have questions about tickets or refunds, please contact the ticket seller directly. I promise you, this is a great show and we will get to perform it for you some day in the
in time. One thing,
who can do without going out into the world is to get our new novel, the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home available March, twenty fourth, wherever you by your books online and the audio book as narrated by our own mara. Wilson, cannot explain in words how excited I am to get this book out into the world. It's not too
pre order. Your copy at welcome to night fell dot com, slash books and folks who pre order and live in the? U S can get exclusive patches and assign art print. Just go to welcome to night fell dot com, slash books for more so
in honour of this new novel, we're taking a brief intermission from our five part episode series about the missing passengers of delta flight, one in seven one three to bring you this life show of the faceless old woman we did last year and allay please and joy, and hey wash your hands.
I'm I'm really excited. We wrote this script recently coming up in the service last performance for tonight, and I got really excited for for writing. Ex we haven't written a full of two do alive, show full length in an in a new voice, and it was. I was a lot of fun to do yes at night we are presenting. The first welcomed may feel show. That is entirely from the point of view of someone who is not cease all this is. This is the time when the faces old woman who secretly
Senor home gives to step out from her secret place in your home and tell you a little bit
bit about herself. One of my favorite things about writing faces old woman stuff is. Is it because the way Joseph and I work as this that will will write? Episodes are right, parts of episodes of impasse it to the other and that a person will sometimes have questions but often times just like, maybe like add something to it. So a lot of times it's either when I get stuff back from Joseph Amount, if he feels the same way, Gettings stepped back. For me, it's
with a face of someone's carpet was always either something really hilarious or something really upsetting. I really really love that alot. This is maybe the most upsetting thing we ve ever
written. I hope you guys enjoy it. Can I I guess we should start started about that show. We talked about. Let's do it you guys, let's walk into the stage your for an hour.
More Wilson woman who secretly to new home, you don't know me, but I know you
I know you very well. I've been going through your medicine cabinet. You take too much apple. Do you realize how hard that is on your digestion? I know a couple gel types in Nagoya,
some water before bed can alleviate a morning hang over, but it also puts you
move because you don't get, could sleep without that extra stress you put on your guts
What's a better hangar procure not drinking like it's there
ass to have community college
I replaced your vodka with clear wind acts and
add bill with a backpack
twelve help your hang over his, but it certainly will be more entertaining for me. I don't sleep, so
I need better late night entertainment than Netflix. I've already watched every episode of money high,
east and criminal man and planet
documentary, I have to space it up a little bit, which reminds me sorry about the tarantula incident last week- and here I am speaking specifically to you Tony.
Yes, you in the shark that one hoping I'm not talking about. You
I'm not sorry. You woke up at the tarantula covering her face, nor that it bit you causing your eyelids to swell up like kinda rags filled with pure relent discharge instead of
boys. I am sorry that I forgot to turn the flash offer, my camera, which alarmed both you and the spider, and I never got a good photo
building up my portfolio for an art exhibit. I call gross things on a sleeping tone,
It's going up
June first exclusively in your living room
I've already got an open mouth. Centipede bouquet frames, you're
I find this show absolutely terrific wait! No, not terrific! What's the word terrifying, Tony you're, one of my
it's night Nightingale. I know you hate your direct marketing. Job selling high interest credit cards to twentysomethings, but the benefits are great. You have health care
a foreign k and you gotta take advantage of people less fortunate than you
Everything is its own reward, but I've read your poetry, you love poetry, to be fair, there, isn't it
job market for poets, but you need to explore what makes you happy. I turn to
my favorite lines of poetry on your last month. It's by Mary Oliver instructions were living in life. Close your eyes, be scared, good luck,
and then I drew a little butterfly next to the words I'm not the best artist, though so it kind of looks like a radish for us. Our coma
Doesn't matter you still haven't noticed is just right below your right, shoulder blade, dont ratify.
Now it still healing and given that I use the men arrived from, that found, do set in your closet is the needle it's possible its infected better to leave it alone. Tony look at me. Imagine where my eyes, you have a lot to work through I'm here to help you. I really am.
Our private, by giving you some advice. If a venomous Arthur bodies on your face dont scream anyway
it's not you Tony and was bothering me it's the new people. They are elderly like me and they just moved into a house in the centre of night fail, or maybe this is decades from now. Time is easy for me. I had never been in this house, nor noticed it before they moved in its a one melldrum. There are three of them. I thought Pollyanna Maria, but they have three separate beds and they never speak to each other. Rarely look at each other and never leave the hull.
The first night I see where they lived in their home. I realized they never slept either a brush their teeth, put on pajamas and get into bed, but they all lie their eyes open through silent hours of darkness.
I tried whispering to them by gotten a response.
Usually when I reveal myself in the dark. I get the thrill of witnessing horror dawn across a person's distorted mouth and bulging eyes, as they see my faceless face, pressed up against their own one of the best part of his adding new residents, but not these three. For once, I'm the frightened one speaking a frightening. Did you get your tax has been excellent. I'm Alex you, your Alex. You with the shoes I had to file for an extension
any money, because I have no income, but I'm over two hundred years old, never got a social security, number have no permanent address and I wasn't born in this country. It's a lot of paperwork and Alex
your wifi is terrible and I was having a hard time downloading. The forms I needed, so I just
but my name on some yellowish black Boston. Let us you ve left in the grip of the last three weeks, but the leaves falling apart anymore. Like melting after about twenty minutes, I got frustrated and dismayed myself: a salad
Also, I use the last year parmesan cheese, but don't worry, I replaced it with dried scant I've been collecting from your bedsheets topic, roast out, Alex saying TAT,
turn attrition value. You won't know the difference. I got the idea of Roma.
Networks beat Bobby Flay where
this one winter tied up Bobby and ran a micro plan across his forehead to make a chimney cherry sauce. I love that show, but I'm a bigger fan.
Of eight. She tvs House hunters the desert is too,
That's where I met you Eddie. Yes, you with a face.
You are shopping for a new home here, a nightingale, you told
built her, who was inside of a living dear, its belly, horrifically, distended and quivering with every one of the agents, words into stipulations that you wanted
Reed bedrooms backyard-
and close to an outdoor community space
the first home. The yard was not in good shape. Lots of human remains in the law was glowing perhaps from underground radiation testing.
It was well under your budget, but you will have to spend your savings on fixing it up. Also
in the bathroom mirror. You saw crawling across the ceiling,
Is this old woman devouring? What looked like a rat you didn't
don't worry about a rat infestation Addy whose Chipmunk the second home was a condo right in the heart of
District. You loved the design, a simple large black cube, no doors, no windows, no interior, a true
was floor plan so popular these days,
you weren't sure there was enough room for entertaining or anything else at all. The house you selected was perfect. Three bedrooms,
jacuzzi sweets and a large patio and backyard plus. It was right in the middle of town next to the community dog Park
although you would be disappointed later to learn that your dog had been arrested for domestic espionage after being inside the parks, forbidden walls, I think
the right choice, Addy, but I can't help wondering every time I wash house hunters who is this person running away from you, lift queens
night veil Queens is where your family lives by your best friends lives and your girl,
friend of two years. Are you afraid of sin,
this area of being loved of commitment. You
be afraid of that pinkish use coming out of your air,
I want to see an anti about that or if not an anti and entomologist.
Speaking of pudding, would boring beetles inside orifices. I tried a similar thing with the elderly roommates, who recently moved a town or who lived a town
the years from now. Again time is strange for me, but these roommates are also so strange
when I went to put a beetle into one of their ears. I noticed a lot of scar tissue they're, making the whole too small
I hate the beetle scurried away and I got kind of desperate and just made up
spooky moans in cases like this
but not one of the three responded to me
they continued their meaningless pantomime of sleeping in the morning. They got up and each went quietly
at their days, one of them they coffee but did not drink it?
They then went to the window and waved it
neighbor Susan Wheelmen, who was honour, porch stretch
before her morning run Susan,
the figure in the window next to her and froze she stared and terror than darted back into her home and locked the door.
Susan has always been unfriendly. I ran her bedsheets through
office shredder as a reminder to be more open and loving towards the world
the other two roommates climbed into the shower. At the same time,
want to get off on other sexual activities. I just thought I might see something new something human here, but no, they stood side by side, cleaning, their cold gravity defeated bodies, not once looking at each other, let alone speaking
A squelch squish gray waters falling around yellow toenails the towel DA, but when they hung the tell us up, those towels were completely dry.
I am used to being the one who does inexplicable and disturbing things last year during the
many players, production of Romeo and Juliet I decided it would be more fun if they used actual poison, but it was a last minute ideas.
The only point I could find was borax, which just gave a two kids playing the leads.
Everyone happy hours in the bathroom the night after the show ended. So I don't know I could.
Made a stronger territorial choice, but so could the actual director
get that Shakespeare plays are long, but he cut out all the best parts.
Like. The train robbery and also to
winning his bowling league
although I do appreciate that they left in Juliet's famous line good night good night
blood and guts and marrow.
Words shall eat inside your grave, so narrow. It's a classic story. Kids, these days, just don't try to make their own deaths anymore. Oh and Morgan. Yes, Morgan! I'm talking to you you with the finger nails in the teeth. I need to explain something:
you took twenty percent. You can afford it, stop using it as a measure of how much you approve of the restaurant service, a twenty percent
tip is not a bonus, is a fee. Rest
owners, don't pay their staff and said they make the diners pay their employees to this area.
The notion of capitalistic met a meritocracy. I don't care.
But the service Tipp. Then you have money, Morgan,.
I would also tell you to stop asking to speak to a manager every time your long island, iced tea, is a bit late, but I cut out your tongue
months, so they wouldn't understand you anymore anyway. Do you know what
human tongue tastes like Morgan. Yes, you do
you just don't know that you do.
Amber Applebee's. Last week you ordered soup. It was a beef,
is what little onions and little perfectly sorted flex.
Your own tongue, that you would use to lash out at the manager. The last time you ate there you can play,
for poorly expediting your orders, but
the onus is on you for going to Applebee's,
which serves. Neither of the items is named, promises its
egg, cream, soda or Taco Bell said
of eating. The elderly roommates made lunch together, but not for each other. They were
on the kitchen at the same time, making separate meals in silence. They sat.
On the dining room table together and aid they carved and stabbed and pushed foods quickly into their mouths, but their eyes were empty. One of them began to spit out their food. No one seemed to care or notice. They all began to vomit, but not with muscular heaves of shoulders. A next the vomit spread it out, like water from my hand, palm their torsos and heads perfectly
still have to each bodily rejection of food. They would start shovelling it back into their mouths repeating the same process. Eventually, one of them stood up and through their place,
the kitchen window, glass bursting everywhere.
A person leaned into the hole and began punching the jagged shards out with our clenched fist as blood poured out other forums and wrists. They screamed more,
fully into the suburban street, neighbours and passer by his past. Only briefly, the fate had barely heard the sad Howell spreading across the valley
Susan's lemon tree next door died instantly and all of the lemons thou with what plots to the ground the fruit
at an inside of each was a fleshy crimson pulp like meat that has been ground for too long. The other two
her maids kept eating in vomiting, not even noticing the shattering, not even
the same is shattered clasping subsumed by the growing pool of blood. On the floor. You know I wasn't always like this tasteless or old secretly living anywhere. Once I was borne upon warm water. The smell, I remember, is sharp citrus and the peppery sting of grass. The salt fond of ocean was once a child aggrieved. Once I smelled blood once I was a thief, I lived among thieves, I saw empires rise and fall centuries cast themselves upon infinity fruitlessly as waves upon cliffs
Once I was a reckless and lived amongst bandits and farmers, I spoke a different language. Then I've spoken many languages once I was under the sea. That was a quiet time. I lived amongst the coral and tat. I had fish once I was a wanderer.
I've seen the headquarters of the Mississippi and I've seen the cobbled streets of Paris and I've seen the empty arches of French. Here. I've never seen anything like those three roommates, while the things I've been child thief, recluse, wanderer basis, old woman who secretly lives in your home I'll tell you this. I've never been more scared. Peers in the unknowing in the mystery fear is seeing everything about
an old woman except her face here- is the uncertainty of her secretly living in your home. Fear is not the spider you see on the wall. It's a spider. You no longer see on the wall when he looked back again. In the end,
thing, din of shattered glass and mournful howls, and that house I found a loose read that unravelled. This mystery, the roommate who screams had no tongue there made, who, in one of the others, had an air swollen shot from a previous surgery and the other had a red mark like a broader, shows, a comma adorned with poetry drawn upon their shoulder blade. I realized. I know these three strange roommates there,
you tony the special tattoo I gave you and they are you had he with your oral scar tissue from the beetle I jammed in there and you Morgan, but your tongue removed- and I just in the three of you- do not exactly lived together and that home not at the same time your living three different lifetimes in that same space, you do not speak our response because you are dead. Each of you alone in that house, together or you will be time, is confusing for me, a decades from now after you die, your souls would be trapped in the house because something in this world is unresolved for you. You know this paranormal neuroscience is required for our high school freshman, but what they? Don't you,
resolve it. I know how and when each one of you die, I write it down on the back pages of your journals. I've done this for everybody, but nobody ever reads it because while people always think thou right every day after a few pages, they fall off the wagon and never see the last pages of their journals.
Jonathan friends in
He didn't seem bothered by what he read, but he did come
Us out on my adverbs and added some Oxford commas.
And gave you're wondering how Jonathan Brands and dies here's the answer he doesn't. I am the faces old woman who secretly lives in your home. You might find this ambiguous after all the word home, a singular so whose home is it that I speak for them,
then listen some things in this tangled world are simple. I live in your home and your home and your home. I live in all of your homes simultaneously
I am many, I am many. I am one I am one you all live, such different lives, teeming, that's what you are teeming and I'm there watching you. U, Tony you dream of being a poet resolve the unresolved. The worst that can happen is crushing.
Disappointment and public, mockery and eviction when you can pay Erentz many more awful things after that get to it.
And you Eddie you Fletcher previously,
to escape a murder charge. Strangely, you didn't,
commit murder. You are charged with, but you have committed murder we're choice to gone, how Saunders I want a fugitive, but
Maybe it was a good first step to healing or soul, and you Morgan, you have an idea that could save us all an epoch, defining idea, one of the great, but you don't know which gives so many ideas.
I can tell you this: most of them are not important. One of them is
vitally important. Good luck also Tipp twenty percent- and you forget your name, you tweet too much.
We all talk too much about that. Doesn't let you off the hook. That's why I ain't your phone. You can. Thank me later. You can all think me later.
Because you all will be saying me soon.
Tonight's. The night let slip my secrets,
We shall soon see me. Fumbling, wet and gray from out of the bathroom mirror were folded up straight
we lose skin and mashed bones in the bottom. Trawl at your dress are, or you will see me, scuttle laws, the hair hanging down from my face with space,
Are you will look at your kitchen window and there will be some one standing in your driveway and it will be me,
There will be no one in your driveway and instead I will be next to you in the kitchen, baseless and so very, very old. Will that be nice? I am a faceless old woman who secretly listen your home and your home and your home and every home, and I will be seeing you very very soon:
walking tonight ballast
production of night they'll presents it is written by Joseph Think and Geoffrey trainer and produced by disposition the voice of
faceless old woman is Mara Wilson.
Original music by dispersion. All if it can be found
dispersion, dot info right,
permission, dot band camp dot com,
episode had no, whether clear skies at last comments question
email us out info: it welcome tonight, veil, dot com or followers
on Twitter at night fell. Radio or
Sorry, I got distracted by that weird thing behind you check out welcomed.
Veiled dot com for info about our new novel, the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home out March, twenty fourth: today's proverb never judge a book by its cover
Judging by the title page, instead by its Joseph thank my friend Jeffrey Nigh, created welcome
tonight fell back in twenty twelve, normally were the ones turning our ideas into writing, but for
Our brand new show start with this. It's you who do the creating on each episode will talk about a topic of the creative process. Then we
I'll give you two short assignments: something to consume
and something to create. You can share your work on our membership for him to see what other people are up to. We want you to start creating
Simple assignment added time, because the best way to start writing is to start writing, find it where ever you get. Your part casts acts.
Transcript generated on 2020-03-30.