Well, we're almost have special time of year for getting together family giving gives that's right. It's almost Holloway, some of you might know release. The middle break, novel called the hollow we move this summer and what. It sees, and it is to give that both hurry. I'm doing a few virtual events in the coming weeks, Friday, eight October, twenty second, with best books, Saturday October, twenty third, with books of wonder and Thursday October. Twenty eight Amis stop come join me as I celebrates spooky month and this book that I wrote about. Speaking of books, my night fell, Corredor Jeffrey Crater has a book coming out which he co wrote. with his partner on within the wires Janina Mathewson. It is called you feel it just below the rims

fictional autobiography set in an alternate twentieth century This is a strange haunting novel. You are not going to want to miss. It comes out on November, so teeth. A new pan am should free order. Learn more about you feel it just below the ribs and about the hollowing moon by going to weapons night had come and clicking on books. Finally, you might have heard that things are not great with supply. James, so if you want to give my veil gifts for those other more wintery holidays a little later on this year, we really recommend doing that shopping. We have so much great new stuff up on the store I area about Miss Oliver here, just go to welcomes, night fell, dot com and click on store to see all of it or you.

get a virtual gift by getting someone a tree on membership that gives them access to actually episodes of the show bonus, episodes and a lot more no supply chains on a virtual gift: buddy! Ok, that's it for me, have a merry Halloween in Blue. his question: how fast was not serve ninety eight miles per hour? How far was that DR two hundred and fifty yards? How long did you sleep seven hours? Fifty four minutes must question: are you training your body undermined using the mindfulness up? Yes, that's exactly what I am doing we all have questions on the new apple watch. Series Seven has answers on our largest must advance display. Yet the future of health is on your wrist subject to their little. I can successfully to requite aftermath Subscription Mccoy, hey. It's free cleaner. If you like me, you dont have a design degree nor a huge budget for design software, but you still need design tools that are professional and

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a free forty, five day, extended trial when you use the promo code for the show just go to canvass dot me slash night veil to get your free forty five day, extended trial. That's see a n v, a dot, Emmy sash! I e mail and were not me slash night veil here. But a real doctor Let him near me, don't let him hurts, doesn't it, If you want to cut me open study me. He'll me man nope. You laid me. While I cut back doc

closer poison, doc, dark or like Doc, because Europe Whack, If you could understand me, you'd know that was hilarious, you're too busy doubled over in pain. We need more than stitches You might need a tetanus shot, especially. Let me add that neck of yours again Cecil did you bring this guy in here, I'm sick? That's all! it will pass or won't But if I'm going to die like this floating four feet off the ground in a bathroom in the body of a mutant cat, then so be it I've made whatever peace I kind of that, but don't. Add. The insult of allowing me to get prodded end groped by these de mine is mad student.

He's not even a real doctor he's a veterinarian, condescending too. I'm tired of everyone trying to pat my head and my ass. You should put up signs Cecil Whatever you now. Listen, I talk, did, you get me food or We, the feather or hug me too hard. I might be trying to explain the difference between America sat at an airbag on salaries. Doesn't matter with you You only here, mules and wines. You Joel me. Listen I like that I love the catnip. Thank you. Thank you a million times thank you, you're a ban excellent guard in this prison. But only want you to listen to me to hear what I'm saying to hear what I want

Please. I'm not that old, but I am I've. Been this body for nine years think that's old for a cat, but I don't know I never owned. A cat some plan owned, a cat dont. Remember its name. It lived with us for approval only a decade. I don't know, I think it died ran away. Maybe she kept it when she fainted. And left for my talk. Along long cats live Maybe ass. Your doktor friend doesn't know because but his medical degree by passing a buzzfeed quiz. ask him anyway, wait till his Ups bleeding, though, no one lives forever duck I'm living proof,

forty when she turned me into this should be nearing fifty, but in cat years. What am I seventy five ninety who knows Even if I had lived out a full life as a human, it wouldn't felt long enough. not to mention the ten year, long or longer decline in body function. The sword me ease Neil Liddy continents, the difficulty breathing the irregular heart beat the cancer the cancer tree. That's even worse. Maybe this form that decline will be quicker, days the day you ve never brought a fat to try to drag me before, I used to say I don't fear, death but that was before I felt death enter me death,

a reaper with a skull face and who did cloak now death. As no body it can't be seen, but it can be felt like a presence like a ghost like a possessor. True, or less in the dark places, the inscrutable shadows and lack corners You ever see a spider, freaky you ever turn your head and then, when you look back the spider, isn't there horror I do fear death now, but I'm working on that. Here's where I've gotten, I think not fear anymore, because fear is an emotion of non understanding. I understand

death is yet. I still experience what feels like fear, only think that it is it's a disguised as fear anger at my no some plan. drawing what we have. I took care of her I gave her a job, a home, the finest wounds we traveled the world together, Have you ever Paris sailed Sri Lanka. Swam in an infinity pool, overlooking Sidney, harbour touch, the more. Why of Easter Island with your own hands. Wilson plan has because I took her there I did the and she gave it up She gave me up why, because I didn't care about Louise Bourgeois that simply not true. Dora Louise Bourgeois well

a door, her work, she was some honest, I didn't overwhelmed. Some plan was jealous jealous of my position of my talent. Try to break me reduce me and I refused to kneel so she resorted to turning me into this. She could best me on her own souci had to use her witchery as a weapon. Still, there's something I don't understand he didn't simply turn me into a cat. She could made me her little furry domestic. It truly toppled me. Instead, she put me in this body far away and gave me ridable powers, my fur mostly needle sharp quills skin hard

and scaly almost armor. Like my eyes, I think there are then allow me to see in a three hundred sixty degree, clarity that nearly shatters my mind Times have wings were tentacles. Even the cat, except I am I see my face here in the mirror and I have twenty years and little white mitten feet. The tale like an over used feather duster am I just because I look like what because I say I am one. Am I confidently pretending that this is what I am like when I confidently pretended to be a museum doesnt or a late night, security guard or we're someone suntan loved this eyes, Cecil

Master at it, even when I'm not try for all of my powers. For all of my mutations problem formidable appearance, though I am stuck here, four feet in the air, walk fly, against swim. I can't even speak, not in a way any one understands. I have incredible defences sharp quills and tat skin. Yet I in a place. No predator. Whatever hunt me no pray whatever appear I'm a prisoner, before you each day to feed me. Sometimes you pay me and talk to me. It's patronising the way you do it pushing your lit out in battling as if to a baby or a cat I neither I'm Silas, and I am alone

I mean you are around. Sometimes the boys in sales, stop by Sometimes the management of the station comes in here, it's rare, but they do the patronising in a different way. like you and the sale staff and in terms management- can shoot me copper. The words. I say they know my name, They know my tragic story and they laugh. They point and say tell the tale again leaf and I do and they laugh again. They tell me I deserve my fate, giggling, all the while it sounds mean, and it is but they talk to me like a man, ITALY, Speak to me as if I were a child, they respect me even if they mock me and of course

there are the kittens. some ten wanted. Kids, I think I mention that I don't like children didn't like children. Not, then, unless though, isn't that important, I'm learning. around two thousand to she started talking about having children she didn. bring it up once, but over Over again, she wanted to be a mother. I did not want to be a father, that's not the whole truth it is a fact that I didn't want to raise kids. But, more importantly, I didn't want her to raise kids. You have to understand, she was brilliant at our job all admit. I could not have been successful without her. I needed her. Pregnancy and children would have ruined that

I know there are mothers all over the world who continue their careers, their crafts after giving birth. I'm not seeing women can't you know, but some plan wasn't all women. She was son pen. She was my woman and I would have lost respect for her seeing her huddling about her home belly extent. did hand to her back under the Oppressive of some unformed bob in her body, no one should live that way. What oh, is that a fact? This says, I'm being massaging us again. No honey, I'm being a narcissist best said that women can have babies and still be very successful. I love women My problem with some plan was that she wanted something for herself that I did not want for me. I will

to control her because I believe others are an extension of me and sometimes narcissism expresses itself as sexism yes and as Transphobia to you're, right you're right and this reminds me that not just women can have babies. All along the gender spectrum. Have you re just smart kid? where she gets it. You get, from her dad it sunshine she's, they not to know me again, right, though I'm a man and I had babies, babies, but their kittens or not kid. Any more there. Oh eight years old at this point that strain to be only one year older than your own children, that's an is right there with a tortoise. Shell fur

above her near the drop ceiling with the tortoise shell skin is fine. I believe he's the one you call mix tape, aided that name but- I am really likes it and now prefers it to his given name. And I have learned to respect that and over by the window is Jeremiah the one your friend, Larry Leroy comes to see every day life. For some reason calls Jeremiah Larry Leroy, but he also calls all of us that so I guess that's his bit. I like Larry, though he's respectful. He talks to us. Like old friends. He once had Maybe it's like old friends. He never had did you just needs people to talk to you if all the way out on the edge of town, making his dire and using his metal detector here,

unsound, a submarine in the sand wastes? Has he told you that story? Cecil visit him or he needs company Jeremiah has a great view of town from the window, so he tells us when something exciting is happening, does appear in the bathroom too. So we can also hear your broadcasts you digress a lot sometime. Tat bit of exaggeration to, if I'm being honest- and I am but I fucked up mix tape has learned to sing. He has beautiful voice. He sings along to your whether reports every day mix tape. It was a good name. All of this to say maybe dying and I'm ok with that. My fear is really anger and my anger might really be guilt.

Everything is a disguise Still angry at some plan, but all the kids tell me, I'm probably just angry. At myself. Only thinking I'm angry at her, I can't comprehend how I would possibly be so confused about my own feelings. That way, destroyed my life at home, I love my kids. I adore them. In fact, I take back every bad thing I ever set about children, their wonderful and I wouldn't give them up for anything, but my life was cut short by some plan, so petty. So

self obsessed. She essentially spit in my face she spit in the face of everything I had ever achieved. Everything I had ever given her she's spit in the ok, I'm starting to get it. I'm spit in her face right right point taken in Jeremiah says we cannot forgive others until we forgive ourselves and he's right. Theoretically, yes, I agree, but Cecil. You could for once recognize me see me as not a cat. You kept. I simply be capable of looking directly at this body, hearing the Unholy sounds: I make one

missing my little levitation and think. Yes, this sure is a cat. Cecil. Wake up, hear me to forgive myself before I die. I do, but I dont want to forgive her. Never She lives in the Woods EAST of Town Larry Leroy told me of a sorcerer who dwells among the trees who gives them. Some teens who cast spouse of kindness spy, must have entrapment Larry like you exaggerates a lot and I didn't think it think of this at first, but then he said a name. He said my now like, I know them sovereign, Cecil go find her.

and bring her to me. Oh, I just want to see her pretty little face and pay stub no Tell him to let go of my neck. The sea so tell the doktor to stop he's poking me, Historically, his children. I love you. Will you miss me.

air GAD, let's just get so weak, so I guess that's just so. I can get you one day. That's just so! I can get you brought.

Chicken and rice real chicken and rice, not in the can. I don't know what to say. Well, I do once again I say thank you. My last thought, as I lost consciousness, was not what happens when I die, but what happens to this body when I die? Does the beast you called cash actors fall to the floor, the spell broken or does it disappear altogether too? You should have a physical form at all and I a tangible illusion.

A disguise in the eyes or with his corpse, continue to float at a fixed spot until it right away with my children have to live only feet from their dead father for the rest of their lives, and I remember that I have moved from my spot before I have left this prison I helped you what's a couple of times, maybe something with new owners and once It was a demonic beagle, that's insane and making Was able to move always trying to run free to get out of here to get sunshine. It's only when I want to that. I cannot

that's sometimes spell she wanted me to command. She wanted me to feel tremble to be saddled with children to be under another's control alone. Even when I literally never alone, that's not. The whole truth was may is so is my mind. Be dead, end disguised as a path, and it is only when I accept this when I start being angry at the labyrinth. When I respect myself and my place, I can truly live. She did this to me. Yes

is what I am now. Acceptance is all I can control, listen to them and he says purring love her so happy here. Cecil, Jeremiah and mix tape two presented their contempt for the years, couldn't understand how they couldn't like living in this valley, fluorescent cave, they do. Jeremiah has gone from his spot. Look at the window. He went to go visit merrily Roy. You can just do that. I thought it was because these children had special powers above mine. They don't after my locker position to remember it was because you were in danger, because my kids were

in danger. I was able to move out of this prison because I was able to see beyond myself. I say all that and I'm trying to move now, but cannot. So maybe that theory is totally wrong or maybe the doctors drugs haven't worn off yet the hell did he do to me. I do feel better groggy, but my cuts don't hurt anymore and my eyes aren't burning the infection gone. Will I be able to move when I'm fully healed without it still thinking of her of some pain of my know, when I'm angry

I'm very angry Cecil, I'm trying not to be it's hard to change. I'm learning, though, isn't that important, but I'm learning thank you for the chicken and rice land I get. What you're doing we're taking care of me should know who I am not at all. You think I'm a house cat, that's your problem. You only see what you really want to see like Museum guard, your silly fooled by the skies. Only maybe it's the other way around. Maybe I'm maybe you're right, and I am asked

Started disguise at all. I am simply what I am a horrifying trot and one I have to consider am I caution I don't know if I'm ready to admit that just yet. Hey Jeffrey greater here, with a podcast recommendation for you, so in the small town the Fox Lake Joke Linen it was a thirty year veteran of the local police department, one month from retirement. He was found dead, shot in the chest twice at close range after weeks of searching for his killers delete investigator discount chilling secrets about Joe, the local police department and the village of Fox Lake Secret, that once uncovered what harm them for years to come there,

a ton of great true crime. Ships out there for you to listen to, and I think over my dead body should be one of them. It's fast pasting compelling I'm really amazed. Candor they get from the interview. Subjects in the production is top notch. Plus I get dive, Deeper than just the crime, and who done it into the impact of the people in Fox Lake, which is just pretty deep for me not to spoil anything. So I will just leave it at that. Follow over my dead body season, three Fox Lake on Apple. Outcasts or wherever you're listening now or You can listen early and I had free by subscribing to wondering, plus in the wandering app. Latin tonight bail as the production of night fail presents. It is written by Joseph Thank and Geoffrey, greener and produced by dispersion the voice of caution with Jonathan the original music by disposition. All that can be found. Separation dot band camp dot com?

This episode, whether was go along get along by Erin, Mikhail, renew, album and kiss off kiss find more at Erin, Mccune dot com. How many questions email I sat in fell at? Will tonight bell dot com, followers on Twitter at Night Bell, radio or so. the beans then grab a month and clean them check out welcomed and I fell dot com for info about our life tour in twenty twenty two. We can't wait to see you again. Today's proverb ask your doktor about uptown

hi, it's just a thing. My friend, Jeffrey Nigh, created welcome to night fell back in twenty twelve, normally were the ones turning our ideas into writing, but for our brand new show start with this. It's you who do the creating on each episode will talk about a topic of the creative process. Then we will give you two short assignments: something to consume and something to create. You can share your work on our membership for him to see what other people are up to. We want you to start creating one simple assignment at a time, because the best way to start writing is to start writing, find it where ever you get. Your part casts. X,.