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201 - The Delivery Man

2022-02-01 | 🔗

All people deserve prompt delivery. And all people eventually get what they deserve.

Weather: “Goodnight Dandelion” by Space Cowboy Newt http://soundcloud.com/emma_newton

Transcript available at http://welcometonightvale.com/transcripts

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Music: Disparition http://disparition.bandcamp.com

Logo: Rob Wilson http://robwilsonwork.com

Written by Joseph Fink & Jeffrey Cranor.

Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. http://welcometonightvale.com

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This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
It's twenty twenty two and were finally ready to start the roaring twenties, hopefully, but certainly not values after two years away, we are so happy to be brief, in our life, show back on the road this March and through the rest, twenty twenty two in the? U S, Canada, the UK and Europe. We are returning to many favorite cities and going Some places we ve never been hello cork all shows are on sale now, except glass gap which goes. on sale hold on pre sail on February. General sail on February. Fourth, Scotland. By those tickets, we can't wait. Weep gloves, Darwin. These shows are a full night of storytelling and music with live. Cecil live backing music
by disposition, live, guess, stars and alive, whether if you never seen one. I really think this is the heart of the night will experience what we do live. This is a brand new script called the hunting of night veil, which explores the idea of what HANS us both ghosts and otherwise we were able to do this. New script twice in me twenty before having to shut down, and I remember standing backstage with Geoffrey and watching the first night and turning to him and saying new show is really really good and it was a happy moment, but it was also sad because we going to be able to perform, for. I did know how long, but now we're back in that way We really good new show it's coming to your town MA am. We cannot wait to be with you in a
together telling you a spooky story from our weird little town to yours, schedule and tickets at welcome tonight, veiled, dot, com and click on shows a break. A lake welcomed bail is brought to you by progressive. Are you thinking more about how to tighten up your budget? These days, drivers who saved by switching to progressive save over seven hundred dollars on average and customers can qualify for an average of six discounts when they sign up a little Your rate each month goes a long way get a quote today at progressive dot com, progressive cat, the insurance company and affiliates national annual average ensure savings by new customer survey who safe with progressive between June two thousand twenty and may two thousand twenty one potential savings will vary. discounts very and are not available in all states and situations. Hey, it's Jeffrey crime, if saving more spending less as one of your top goals for twenty twenty two. Why are you still? increasing amounts of money every month for wireless. Switching to me,
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new wireless plan for just fifteen bucks a month and get the planned shipped to your door for free, good, raiment, mobile dot com, slash night veil, that's meant mobile dot com! Slash night veil, cut your wireless build a fifteen bucks a month. It meant mobile dot com, slash night veil, its today its today the delivery man comes today. Welcome to night veil. I'm waiting on a package- and I think it arrives today, listeners You know that feeling deep within your belly, like going over a heel to fast or when you A really large liver parasite, that's what the
every day is like for me, many of you know about delivery. Man here where's shiny black shoes, perfect he pressed pants and a mariners cap, cocked jauntily back off his brow, his blue eyes are met but bright? his smile is broad and full of long white teeth. He care. Is with him. Friendly, treats candy spread the children and stakes for the dogs and he always as a package for some one. Sometimes they expected. Sometimes they do not. the delivery man rebels in our thrills, our nervous excitement for the day a parcel arrives. He green as we take the cardboard box from him, our hands shaking are ankles trembling. He, imagine us ripping at it seems moments later, but the box cutter PETE,
daydreams about our gasps as we find out. The surprise that awaits us inside oh, what a life to be the deal. Every man there is no greater righteousness than the active giving to give is to love to give it to replenish to plant seeds. two understands ones place upon the earth. Gives shade an oath gives rain a wood Chuck gives the visions of a cute little fairy but Bobby through the brush. A chicken splash. Quite unwillingly and with a gruesome fight if you're not swift about it, but still the delivery man gives deliveries and too, Today is the day for me. I hope, anyway,
the delivery. Man has a motto. That motto is nowhere There is no war, no man, illness and no God may stop me from my duty, all people deserve prompt delivery and all p bull eventually get what. they deserve. The noble sentiment, if ever I've heard one the delivery man will stop at nothing to bring you what you have coming. He stocks, sidewalk, whistling John Brown body and tipping his coal black cap at passers by he avoids pavement cracks. and counts all of his steps in sets of sixty today, he is,
what three hundred and twenty sets of sixty steps and he will Many more ex numbers and despises odd numbers here. winces at his odd numbered steps. His are misshapen from years of gritting his jaw at odd numbers, yet is lucky Number- is five. The loves five. There are Sections to every rule. Save for delivery. Man motto yes, The delivery man loves. The number five His lottery. Numbers are five fifteen twenty five, thirty five, forty five and fifty five and you wanted twice in the last year alone. He would the lottery. Quite often, though he has never desired to be a wealthy man. He said if some money for the proverbial rainy day but the rest his lotto winnings. He puts into his job his life
He's only love in the world deliveries everyone knows the delivery, man's ticket numbers and his incredible success, but no one, Here's take those numbers for their own, it would be a slight to the delivery man, a Baton hell of a man who devotes his entire life, giving the delivery. Man gives Should we be so daft as to take Let him have his lucky number good. Old five, the the very man says, allowed every time he Countess bit step in a set of sixty. He shouts this Often his baritone voice humming through the leaves of tree line suburban streets, something He sing songs it good old five, but some He whispers it's softly to himself. Perhaps because he is in a conversation with another person, and it would
a rude to shout this out loud, while the other human was explaining through tears, say that their mothers cancer had returned and that they wish there were mercy in this world the delivery. Man knows that there is no mercy of this world, but will gladly oblige anyone who wishes to reiterate this point. It's a good point that is oft worth repeating. The delivery man believes somewhere in night, fail right now Daylight, the delivery man walks purposefully, counting each step
rejoicing in his wise grinding his teeth on the ones in threes and sevens and nines he scans the house's looking for his next recipient The delivery man owns a truck. He could not pay his deliveries without one huge he's driving his truck kits refrigerated, because some deliveries need temperature regulation. No one wants that livery to spoil or wrought or worse yet die in the back of a sweltering truck on a hot winters day like today, the delivery, man's motto is important and immutable
even if it says nothing of the quality or timeliness of delivery, but attend to detail is implied. Care is implied if leave by the motto you could not possibly failed to treat each delivery with respect them demands that level of respect. Just by far knowing the motto you leave the motto in every facet of your life. No one is perfect, of course, the delivery man once lost a package. It was small box, only three inches long, a perfect cube. He had placed it on dashboard was so tiny that he did not want to lose it. He watched it closely, even while driving even ass, he heard a scream and felt a thump beneath tyres his eyes, never left the delivery on his dash. He drove ahead
for stopping, never slowing, never looking up from the package. That was exactly as important as all other packages. Only smaller the delivery. Man leaves a precise and moral life but he had to stop the truck that day to prepare the other packages for hand delivery. He had to double check His delivery list he had to open the back of his truck and climb inside to verify that each delivery was in its proper place, had to remove some meat from a cage and eat his lunch. He had to do this with the door closed, so that no one would, Hear the sound of flesh tearing or the snarls of his hunger. Nor here here the mules up the other creatures who were witnessing their own future ends the delivery. Man knows it is impolite to be seen eating on duty.
While he enjoyed his lunch, some young people, teenagers the delivery man growled reached into the cab of his truck, and stole the tiny box from the back cargo hold. He felt them touches truck he heard them whispering to each other. The time he emerged. He saw a trio of kids running down the block he did not run after them. He does not like to run. running is for those who are late and those who are late are not living in. the motto, watch them run while wiping the juices from his face. a tiny piece of gristle remains stuck in his moustache for the rest of the day We wonder he came across noticed. but no one said anything to him. He wouldn't forget those teenagers voices they're here
her color the way they ran the sounds of their shoes on pavement, the delivery man would see the kids again. He was certain of it and when he did, he would not delivered them a package. He would deliver them a lesson. Children, need guidance, the delivery man thought they want structure and this crime and punishment Yin and beyond, heads and tails life and death, Everything is a circle except the tiny box It was a perfect cube
and it was gone. The delivery man this night fail right this moment somewhere in the bright son, whistling his song counting steps, greed, everyone was seized with a gentle smile, a wink and the Tipp of his cap, which is as black as the void everyone, smiles and nods back looking quickly away uncomfortable, but the intimacy of a prolonged glance at a stranger, but delivery. Man does not break his gaze. He studied them. Try to understand them. Remember their faces burn.
Their names into his brain, like a sizzling white, taught brand into the skin of a cow. Delivery men comprehends empathy as a broader concept somewhere along some street near some house they deliver man, looks for someone to give his delivery to what could be in that parcel. He carries it gently with little effort like it weighs but announce. Of course the delivery man is surprisingly strong. He does look weak, but you cannot imagine that beneath those stiff box, he clues stands a real Charles ATLAS, a regular stone, cold, Steve, Austin verbal man of steel, you can actually imagine at all what stands inside of those clothes No one has seen his body beneath the uniform. the delivery man has never had a mother.
Nor sexual partners or a doctor nor taken a physical education class There is no one who could have ever gazed upon his natural body for if they had it would be confounded confused. perhaps even scared, not because His body is scary, but because his body does exist at all, The delivery man's crisp uniform his field entirely with cotton and wires he has never had a body, and his only deed for one is to sue the others expectations The delivery man is happy to Swayed your limited imaginations and again today he prowls our streets eager to see the look upon the face of the next recipient of his much anticipated delivery standing John
outside radio studio in the centre of night veil. The every man eyes a man in the window. that man in the window was speaking into a microphone at this very moment that man is wide eyed and terrified of the delivery, man's water colored eyes and crooked smile, which from them And spent at point looks like a broken fence. The man. The microphone does not move and ass. The delivery man enters the man, the microphone shit. where's
He hears the delivery man coming down the hall, the man at the microphone, a man I have known my entire life, a man I know well he's truly frightened or frightened than it has ever been. He doesn't know what to do so. He said to the others. The weather.
This practice is weighed sees them, but the Knight S, wise is strange, sets its asleep, but is enough to make you tell him back his.
Schroeder's cat is simultaneously dead and alive because we cannot weakness which state the cat is in. So we presume both possibilities exist at once, but if both or true then only the worst can be true, does that make me a pessimist? The glass is half empty. Half a cat is a fully dead cat
on my desk he's a box it's about the size of a small book. Maybe it is a book. Did I order a book? Maybe it's a dvd though we don't have a dvd player, maybe Frances Donaldson at the antique Small has one when he handed it to me. The delivery men doffed, his hat, which was the color of and dreaming sleep. I had never seen him up close his face was cartoon. Like not metaphorically, it was literally drawn on like amateurish swirls for eyes, which set too high and an overly bulbous nose like an up turned cauliflower. His head was a styrofoam lump, not even a well formed mannequin bust, but like packing peanuts compacted into a football shape and his mouth the worst was his horrible mouth. It was a lopsided oval, inside of which were a series of uneven vertical bars bisected by a single horizontal line,
and yet he whistled through that static mouth he whistled incessantly. I began to cry not sobbing, not sorrow, not even scared, but like the stinging rush of tears from dicing a warm overripe onion. For some reason, I began to apologise to the delivery MA. Am I felt the need to explain that I didn't know what had come over me. It's been a really stressful couple of months, the holidays or weird this year. I think I need to get more exercise, maybe returned therapy. I dont know careless and I had a dumb argument about the spice rack, the spice rack of all things, the looking back at it. I think I was just cranky and it wasn't about the spice rack at all, but my own insecurities. I think I can fix things through words, but sometimes words only make it worse. I should listen more. I told Carlos that and he was very forgiving. I don't deserve him sometimes and right now I feel even more insecurity. Of course I deserve him. We all get what we deserve. After all, I said all of this to the delivery man. I don't know why just poured out of me for a long time after the seconds, the delivery man stood and stared. His hastily sketched face implacable, but is
neck cocked like an eager, dog or and invading alien, then without moving his mouth. I heard him faintly whisper, Oh, he gave thumbs up, and I saw that his Fingers were made of pipe cleaners than he and here is the box inside is think about it. Just do it. Oh. Well, it's what's a photo frame.
Bronze, ornate, floral pattern. It's very pretty this photo is that is its very old, its black and white kind of blurry, a middle each man with thinning black hair and a short well groomed beard he's wearing a dark suit. You smiling, but look sad: I definitely did not order this omission it's a gift, nothing else. Inside no note network an address on the package. Actually, the only thing written on the package is Cecil in law childish handwriting well, I can't say I'm impressed, but I say that I am relieved of what a day Anticipation is more strenuous than experience
glad that it's over, though I am glad that picture changed the frame on my desk, the one I just opened it was old timer photo of a man. Now it's a color landscape over saturated, like a vintage postcard, only with no lettering its of a forest are those It would trees something familiar about those trees. I've been there shortly. I've been there oh it's one of those digital frames that connects to your wifi. I see nope no charging port au batteries. it's as analogue as a frame can be? I don't like it. I dont like at one bit, but it is a gift from the delivery man
and there is no more righteous gesture than giving. I can see him right now across the street off to another delivery, but not before Turning back to look at me, his face unchanged, his body perfectly. still, he can see me through the window whether he thinks. Maybe I do not like the delivery. love it. Thank you so much He's waiting for me to break I contact should I is it threatening to him to keep looking, or is it more polite to look away? I don't know don't know. Look away Cecil, I do and I a look back. He is gone.
the photo when the frame now of me in the picture, I'm wearing exactly what I'm wearing. In this moment, I am smiling, but I look sad I should get more rest. I deserve it. Stay to next for the sound of your own breathing good night night fail. Goodnight,
Welcome to night fails, the production of night fell presents. It is written by Joseph Think and Geoffrey Cleaner and produced by disposition. The voice of night veil is Cecil Baldwin original music by dispersion. All that can be found at dispersion, dot band camp dot com, this episodes, whether what good night dandelion by space, Cowboy Newt find out more at sound cloud dot com, Slash Emma underscore comments, questions email us that info it welcome tonight, bell dot com or followers on twitter at night fell radio. or look into a mouse his eyes and see. brain that works in an utterly different way from your own checkout, welcomed tonight. Veil, dot com for info about our world tour with tickets for our Glasgow show going up soon. Tickets,
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Transcript generated on 2022-02-10.