« Welcome to Night Vale

26 - Faceless Old Woman

2013-07-01 | 🔗

There is a faceless old woman secretly living in your home, and she has something she needs to say. Plus, former intern Dana is still alive and texting us from the forbidden Dog Park, Community Health Tips, and an update on the kittens.

Guest voice: Mara Wilson (marawilsonwritesstuff.com)

Weather: "Long Gone" by Mary Epworth, maryepworth.com

Music: Disparition, disparition.info

Logo: Rob Wilson, silastom.com

Produced by Night Vale Presents. Written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor. Narrated by Cecil Baldwin. More Info: welcometonightvale.com, and follow @NightValeRadio on Twitter or Facebook.

This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hey. I want to tell you about two fiction, podcast from like their presence that you're going to love. First, there, within the wires a unique and immersive show that tells stories using found audio from an alternate twentieth century. Our new season season for is out, and it's about a mother and daughter as they attempt to lead an anti government commune surviving on the fringes of society and its all told, via tape, recorder letters home to her daughter and sermons to the commune. Next there is the orbiting human circus, a podcast about the janitor who lives at the top of the Eiffel tower. It is back with a brain new musical story, this fall that asked the question: does the janitor They exist, he hoped so too to this sweeping cinematic experienced a features Julian Cost or John Camera Mitchell Susanna Flood in many more to find out the answer you can find both within the wires and the Limiting human circus in your favorite up or at my mail presents dot. Com trouble,
playing soft jazz from out of the dark desert distance. They come tomorrow. It is too late for welcome to night did you know, there's a faceless old woman who secret lead lives in your home. It's true she's there now she's, always there just out your site,
All always just out of your sight because You cannot see her you work probably completely unaware that this woman likes to sift through photos of you and your loved ones. She saw Lee touches each face, as if wishing it were her, oh or claiming it as her, oh or perhaps simply curse, saying that person it's hard to say you never seen her doing this. The faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home does lots of things ever wonder why your web browsers history is filled with. Being searches, bore, quote pictures of dead wolves or quote the melting point. Birds
or why sometimes your shower drain gets clogged with organ means more. Why sometimes you fear from behind the war? scratching at the front door or you awakened to find long silver hairs on the pillow extreme. Or maybe you ve, never noticed any of those things. You ve lived your life to this point completely oblivious to this old woman who has no face and truth be told, I think she's, probably harmless but maybe you shouldn't sleep in your home any more, just in case Ladies and gentlemen, Dana
as continued to send me texts from beyond the tall black, fences of the dog park. Even the dog park is forbidden to citizens and their dogs Dana managed to get in, and is now trap. Therefore, who know how long first off She says she's, ok, She says she has met some nice people and she's never board. She met the man in the hand jacket who has been Hon in this city for the past few months, in fact- Dana says the man in the hand, jacket is quite nice. It really struck up quite a friendship do you still trying to figure out what The man's involvement is with the hooded figures and the recently deceased Apache Tracker, and that too
Amy underground civilization of war mongers who live? below lay in five of the desert Flower Bowling Alley and arcade fun complex. He he has seem to pop up in relation to a lot of strange events. She's, trying to figure out what he looks like every time she steps away from that guy. She can't remember a thing about him. Just he's wearing a tan jacket and carrying? a deerskin skin briefcase, oh, and that brief, Dana says, he's kind of weird because it's full of flies and that's kind of creepy at first until you realize that he's fly salesman and that their all trained them can retrieve mail and speak German and play dead,
and all kinds of cute things she says he's up, be cool guy. If you get to know him, oh- and I almost forgot Dana wonders if any listeners with a good arm can get kind of close to the dog pop and throws some beans or ships or beef Turkey or something over the tall fence, she's very hungry, in fact it took me a while to get through her typos listeners, she must be shaking really badly. And now a public service announcement from greater night veil medical community are, you feel, run down even after eight hours of sleep are you having trouble breathing between the hours of two and four. You gaming, several extra pounds of weight,
only to lose those pounds suddenly, and then gave them back? all in five to six hours stretches of time. Are you breathing soil like All the time rich,
dark soil that you just want cooling your tongue, feeling your throat, your sinuses, your lungs, your belly. Are you digging up the earth in the early morning screaming at the half formed son, as if it would cordially leaning returning you to the darkness you so richly deserve and psychologically demand. If you answered yes to all of those questions, then your fine, the programme is working. All tests have been successful and phase for his eminent. This has been immunity, health tips. More on the faceless old woman who see Gridley lives in your home,
She has issued a statement to the media. Just now here is that statement and can used there's no sense to how you organize the objects in your fridge. I cannot yet the esoteric history of your food. You used to contain your vegetables, your cans, your jars, your foods, I feel it stains organic in pink smears. Tell the esoteric history of your food. I, like the I wish one near the crisper, because I think it is the oldest. It has a typography. I do not like all of these bugs you have in your home like some of them. Elsa changed your sheets. You do not change our sheets enough legend thank you are unsanitary, but I think you would feel better if you changed your sheets from time to time and time is weird because it doesn't exist for me in the same way. So your sheets are already covered with your bones and hair and blood, but not yet not really. Yet.
I wish. You could see me just You just staring yourself instead, nonsense, plants and muscles in your fridge, but you never have just glance left or right every so often you see me I'm right next to you right now, I mean in the mirrors the youth. Stared yourself staring yet here, overripe potato with a face, and there I never knew you could just look me in the background behind. So what's your wife, I passed me. So that's the old woman special announcement. I have my dear how we received that recording who recorded it oh, how an old woman with no face and biased, pension, no mouth could speak so clearly, but it was very informative, Maybe you should try paying more attention when your at home
or better yet distraught. They all of your mirrors. As my mother used to tell me some. One's going to kill you one day, Cecil and it will involve a mirror mark. By words, child and then He would stare absently through my eyes until I giggled. Ah I miss her so much less there's a lot of you have written in asking for photos of caution back the state, Kat and to learn what became he's litter of kittens station management did not let us keep the kittens, but they I've been given away too good homes. Unfortunately, like car, the cats are also stuck floating in fixed points in space so their owners will have to visit them right.
Where they were born right here. The station bathroom com, check hovers about four feet. The air, but some of those little ones are as high as nine. It's sad that we cannot keep the kittens for ourselves by it'll be nice to see them every time we take a rest room break at work. I was I had some photos to share with you, but, alas, Ray Yo is not a visual medium. Also, the last thing staff members that took photos? Not on We found that caution does not show up in pictures, but those staff members also died pretty Agnes seeing doubts the weak fall so their refraining from even describing what he looks like, oh, but I did make a quick
recording of the Meow Kasza makes when it's time to eat like I said, I'm not cat person, but Kasza has found a truly special place in my heart. Getting word that authority. These are surrounding your home. The authorities are secret agents from a vague, yet menacing government agency. You are probably look. Out your window now to see these agents, but they are highly covert. You cannot see them. Even if you look hard these special they trained men and women can expertly disguise themselves as trees and doors and birds and feral cats and win gusts, a good
Let them have even disguise themselves as one item of furniture in your home. I am not at liberty to even speculate which one but your power probably looking at it right now. The vague, yet menacing government agency seems upset that the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home. Been alerting view and the media to her presence. I mean We all knew she was there, who does I don't know about the faceless old woman that hides in all of our homes. It's not dissimilar to knowing that Santa Claus isn't actually real. Everyone accepts young children, of course, no
whose Santa is this huge population of heavily said David and costumes there that the c I a let loose across the country, every Christmassy and, like the Santa Claus, myth it's important. We keep up the image that we all don't know the truth like, let's all four ten Santa is a gift giving old man and not a drug dub government there and in the same vein, there's o, faceless old woman hiding in your home, anyway, the agents or encroaching on your whole now and preparing to use deadly force I can tell you that you need to run to get it They are now to save yourself, but it's too late,
inference. An exit is barricaded. I m afraid you, are due unfortunately, the baseless old woman must know something
She must know secrets some very important bids that the vague yet menacing government agency hold dear and those secrets are probably about you. Perhaps she is planning to reveal your purpose here. Perhaps you two are connected, albeit unwittingly, to the vague get menacing government agency, and this information cannot must not be share. You are a walking top secret document and now on the verge of this revelation, you must be destroy on the plus side. You had a purpose, and that is more than most of us can say you will be missed. So for your last moments, though, surely not ours, I gave you the weather.
What, Yes,
a faceless old woman, see really living in your home wants to apologize to. You she has issued another statement, I'm sorry mostly. I just wanted to figure out how to get online I said the wireless router and that helped, but you use chrome, and you never clear your cache or history and it was so slow. I downloaded. Firefox for you, and that seems to be working much better I heard the mayor's retiring and I wanted to know it. May rural candidates were required to have faces I have some good ideas, I think, would hope this town, like one thing, I think, as we can increase school funding, while still lowering taxes, it's an enemy. The plan and I'm gonna build a website that explains it and other great ideas. I have noticed I'm very excited to announce my candidacy for night bail, mayor violet your fridge on fire was upsetting me now,
smoking cigarettes, noting your copy of infinite chess. She didn't leave a name or a website. U R, L and I'm not Sure how she can read websites or books at all, without a face and by it tension, eyes We have also received word that the covert aid hence from the vague get menacing government agency, have retreated and have obviously not used deadly force, as you are still alive artless of how dead you feel inside they did however, release syn rule thousands spiders into your home. A fortune Lee for you, like the faceless old woman. You will be on
people, to see these spiders. Unless you look closely, they are highly trained. Spiders moving just outside of your periphery, but and this is also just like the faceless old woman from Time Two time you will feel brushing against your soft cheeks and lips as you sleep, so keep your eyes open, listeners. Let us all keep our eyes open, it's not always easy! No who and what once to be seen but when you look around, you attention to those fuzzy and dark corners pier. He burst into those predictable patterns, like walls and move, furrow that brow and seek visual truth.
Is it is could only see you're, not seeing. If you could only take in all the complex layers of horrors, lie just beyond to range of signed You could only see the world as. Really is it is and fire and beautiful listeners Stay to next or our new is tit programme. Been mouth chewing tonight's topic. Glass, shards, how to me the most out of a bad situation
until next time, good night night, veil, good night. Welcome to night veils the production of commonplace books it is written by chose, think and Geoffrey trainer and produced by Joseph the voice of night Cecil Baldwin the voice of the face The old woman was more or less than you can read her, in at Mara, Wilson, write stuff, dotcom originally by dispersion of it can be done I voted for free at dispersion, dot info this happened. Whether was long gone by Mary upwards. More at Mary, Epworth, dotcom wanna have your music, you, the weather, section, want to contribute your talents to the show, just want to say: hi, email s at night, veil, commonplace, books, dot com or followers on twitter, at night, veil, radio
commonplace, books, dot, com for more information on the show, as well as our books, on the unused story, ideas of age prima craft and what it means to be a grown up and while you're there consider they don't act like that. With today's proverb the human soul ways. Twenty one grams smells like girl. Vegetables, looks like a wrinkled tartan quilt and sounds like bridge trafficked. Hey listen was a fine podcast. It's me how Lublin podcast her and friend and me mad dash manner upon castor and acquaintance, and me
symphony Sanders, pod, castor and friend with benefits. We are happy to tell you about our show good morning night veil, it's your hip to recent trends like drool cardy being collusion, then you, like, we have already started listening to our official. Welcome to my bill. We capture, I read about jewel in the new Yorker. Why was on the toilet? Ironically, episodes feature interviews with the cats and creators plus listener theories questions at my exact wishes for disposal of my body when I die. If you haven't listened yet, we understand we also have stuff going on to you know. We are also very busy busy making a pike ass for you about a podcast. You love just know that we're here for you, when every already in your podcast them and in your hearts, forever yours and found them and friendship of every kind. Latvia is it jeweller Julie, I don't know, I think maybe it would be on the toilet right now.
Transcript generated on 2020-02-15.